Going Featherbrained

Chapters

2 - Grief
3 - Girl Power
4 - Push on Through
6 - Tour Guide Shift
7 - A Mare
8 - Mare Health
9 - Get What You Paid For
10 - Comeuppance
1 - A Bargain Struck
5 - A Magical Train Ride Away

2 - Grief

It was morning. I should have already gotten up. But, to put it simple, eggs on all of that. So, let's go over a few things.

One, nobody cared what I saw. Everything I saw, they ignored, like it wasn't happening. I felt my tail moving the night before, I swear it, but did anyone comment on something literally shuffling around back there? Not a soul. This ignores the fact that I was literally moving around on hooves. Did they care? Did they even see? No.

So, I thought about it. I mean, there was only one real explanation that came to mind. It had to be in my head. I was delusional. My feet were still feet. My tail just didn't exist. It was the only way this could make any amount of sense.

Looking back on it, it also made more sense than just... refusing to go to a doctor. They would just look at me, look at my ID, and proclaim I'm insane. Of course my eyes were still blue, my hair still brown. No, I don't see a tail. No, you have perfectly normal feet. Yes, you need help. Here, I have this comfortable jacket to keep you warm...

So, I was going nuts, just... nuts, loose in the head. I didn't actually need a doctor at all. I needed a psychologist and maybe a mountain of drugs to get my psychotic episodes under control.

That's all...

With a groan, I pushed upwards, my altered feet, er, hooves, clopping as I stood up on them. "If it's all in my head, it's up to me if I get through this." It was all in my head! That was good and bad. I could... push through it.

I turned in the mirror to look at that tail that was not there. It was longer, with the same blond hair that was on my head that was actually brown. As I twisted about to get a better look, I could see other things that were clearly just delusions. Namely, I had a nice little set of knockers, right on my ribs? They were perfectly normal, except, you know, my not supposing to have them.

Also, it was hard to pin down exactly, but had the room grown? No, that was stupid. I was stupid. The whole thing was dumb. My fear of my hooves was what was keeping me from reaching top shelf things as easily, duh. Just... soft breaths, calm down... Insanity was, by definition, in your head. Just... calm...

So I celebrated by pissing on myself. I mean, no, not... I didn't plan on that happening, I swear. I was standing in front of the bowl. I was aimed right, and... it ran down my leg. I yelped like a little girl (high pitched and everything) and immediately clenched up. The heck?

As I cleaned myself up, I got to learn something new and exciting about my fantasy. Tucked under all the male parts, I had a lady part. It gets better, because those lady parts were... odd looking. I know what they're supposed to be, and mine were thicker and darker? Not that I should have had any of any color! I had grown a lovely set of mare vulva. I...

Let's just be real. Let's keep it calm... I wasn't totally stupid. I was... imaganing... myself turning literally into Derpy. Derpy was a mare, so, ta da, I had to be a mare. I imagined the 'real' me standing there, not actually holding things in place, pissing on myself. God, how embarrassing. I was a guy, a human guy. Still, there was a solution!

I just had to do what most ladies and plenty of guys did. I parked my butt on the bowl. There, ah, sweet relief! I did all the things my biology demanded of me and was ready to spring up and leave when it hit me. Should I... clean... those imagined parts? They were just my imagination! I was a guy... A guy, dang it...

And yet, I was not a slob. So, one gentle dabbing later, I was actually ready to continue with the day. I had my pants pulled up, even if they felt they were entirely the wrong shape. My hips were a bit too wide? My tail, even longer overnight, hated being in it and liked to sway and swish even tucked inside. That just proved it, I figured. If no one noticed the captive animal back there, either they were ignoring me, or it wasn't there.

"Let's do this," I said to pump myself up. My voice cracked, like I was a pubescent kid, stuck somewhere in the middle of octaves. Staggering out of my apartment, clopping along on my perfectly normal feet, I jugged over to my bike. The way I figured, if I just assumed it was all fake and did things like I normally did, it'd work out. Best part? It was... kinda working. I jogged right over and had the bike unlocked in a jiff. "No more messing up," I promised in a voice that sounded more feminine than not.

All in my head! I pedalled swiftly to work. My shoes, which were definitely not hooves, kept my feet nice and safe. I got the bike locked and hurried in with a smile. That day, I'd do better. I'd be great. I'd ignore the stupid stuff that was obviously fake and just do my job! It wouldn't even be hard, I quietly promised myself as I got into attire and came out, still smiling. "How can I help you today?"

And so I sat down in my bosses' office, tears stinging at my eyes and refusing to stop.

"We need to talk," she began, her fingers steepled in the way she only did when bad things were on her mind. "Let's start with the good. You seemed much more involved today. Your attitude was significantly improved. Is something going on at home? You were very distracted yesterday."

"Sorry about that," I implored with more of Derpy's voice than my own, not that she seemed to notice or care, because I was obviously imagining it all. "Just a personal thing. I put it aside to give it my one hundred percent!" I smiled as best I could, but I wasn't sure how convincing it was. I wouldn't have been called in like that for a pat on the back.

"You're creating quite the strange situation for me. Today, you received several commendations from the customers, even as you continued to mess things up. You spent roughly a third of your shift time fixing messes of your own making." She tapped one finger, then the next, working down her set. "You kept people waiting, though they were patient about it, it was still over the allotted amount of time for what you were doing."

She leaned forward. "I appreciate your customer service. It's one of the reasons I hired you in the first place. Keep up that smile, make them happy to be here, but you do need to keep up with the work, and these accidents will only slow you down. Maybe--" She waggled a finger at me. "You're rushing." Rushing? "Take it a little slower, lower yourself from a 9 to an 8, and get it right the first time. You'll save time in the long run."

"A-alright," I agreed. She wasn't firing me! That was, by far, the biggest takeaway I had from that moment. "Sorry for the trouble."

"You're usually more on point. Is everything alright, at home?"

I was turning into a pony and nobody could see! I mean, that sure wasn't something I'd say... "Sorry for being distracted. I'll take it down a level." I lowered a hand flat with the ground for emphasis. "Get it done once right."

"Exactly so." She seemed pleased with my answer. "Go on, your shift is over."

And so I was dismissed, but not from the job, phew! I gathered my things and made my way out, doing my best to ignore my imagined transformations. I had... lady hips, to put it bluntly. I tried to power walk in my usual manly way despite it, and I was moving. I blamed that more on bravado than anything else. I was determined to do it right.

I swung a leg over my bike to mount it and a great loud tear echoed over the area. With dark red cheeks, I brought my legs back in together on either side of the bike. Had I just? I did... My pants had surrendered the good fight and I was more wearing two pantaloons rather than one set of pants. Right on the seam, torn right down the middle. I... was...

Nobody was watching. People were walking past me, not seeing a thing. Another illusion? It... had to be. I dared to stand on the bike and began pedalling despite the wardrobe malfunction, and nobody cared. My legs were just kinda hanging in the breeze, whipping about with my pants trailing in the breeze created from the movement. Nobody noticed. Nobody raised any alarms. It was all in my head. All in my head.

I climbed off the bike at the shopping plaza that included the grocery I worked at. My next shift wasn't crammed as tightly as it had been the last few days. I had some time. I'd just-- My thought derailed as one big hoof came down on the tattered leg of the split pants and I took another step, ripping it right off of me and almost sending me to the ground with the awkward and sharp tug. I was wearing my shirt, my undies(pushed down to make room for a tail that wasn't really there), and my shoes, but no pants. I stood there, paralyzed with shame and horror.

But nobody ran away. Nobody came closer. The world went on. "See you later?" I glanced towards the voice to see a mare speaking with another mare. A nod received, they both trotted away from one another. I blinked, and they were gone. Another delusion. Just... like my lack of pants. I was going crazy, even more crazy. Deep breaths... Deep... If nobody was reacting, it wasn't real. Just... assume you had pants on. I hiked towards a small mexican place to get a snack.

Illusion or not, it was cold. Chilly to be specific, that wind kissing my exposed legs. I nudged the door open and stepped inside. Nobody cared much about the pantless man walking past them. "Do you have something sweet?" I asked, which is not something I normally asked for. Usually, I got...

I couldn't remember what I usually got.

"You want a churro?" asked the guy behind the bar, smiling nicely.

"That sounds good, yeah." No no! That was a terrible lunch. My diet was really shot lately. A good daisy sandwich would have been better. Wait, daisy? Are those even edible? By the time I caught myself on that line of logic, a churro was on a tray in my hands, and I wobbled towards a seat to crash onto it and let out my breathe.

Why was I losing it so hard? I took the churro in a hand, my fingers not wanting to curl properly until I glared at my hand. Mmm, at least it was a good churro... Man, I was going nuts, and what could I do about it? There really wasn't much in the way of emergency mental care. Welcome to the States!

I worried my tail in one hand as I chewed with the other. I only noticed when it was half gone that I was holding that tail, brushing its hair and petting it in a vain attempt to soothe myself. The worst part? It was... kinda working. The gentle brushes of the imaginary tail made me relax into the seat. The rest of the churro gently vanished.

I still had most of an hour. Maybe... something real? The churro was nice, but it wasn't lunch. I was back on line, humming a little song to myself. I couldn't quite name the song. Something from a movie somewhere? It was chipper. Humming it made me happier.

Someone else was humming along. I glanced over and saw a pony twirling a cap at the end of a hoof as he hummed right along. "Miss?" He was gone, and it was my turn. I checked around. Miss? He was looking at me. Why... was he looking at me? "I'm a guy."

He blinked before looking so very embarrassed. "Oh, sorry! Oh god. Um, wanna free drink?" There was a deal! My smile apparently was answer enough as he wrung up the free drink. "What can I get for you?"

"I'm a little out of it today." Understatement alert! "I want something filling." And full of veggies! I caught myself before I said that. "Like a big burrito?"

"We have a baked burrito that's super popular," he suggested and when I nodded, he finished ringing me up, the drink canceled out on the price. "It'll be out in a bit."

I was standing there, waiting for my turn to get my food. At least I had a big drink cup, which I thrust under a spigot and bade to start spewing fizzy sugar water at me, mmm, fizzy water. "You look ready to enjoy that." I glanced over to see a smiling lady.

"Actually, yeah." I took a nice big gulp of the concotion, a mixture of a few different sodas. Cool, refreshing, fizzy... "Mmm, yeah, that helps."

"I know that feeling," she laughed popping the top on hers. "Mind if I join you?"

That had to be the first time a random lady asked me to join me for lunch just... out of the blue? "Sure." She seemed nice, and I could feel a smile forming as I sank down onto my chair and she across from me. I didn't know her. I had no idea who she was, but she looked happy to be there. "You come here a lot?" I did get my buritto, parked in front of me, waiting to be devoured.

"It's close to where I work." She pointed off. "So, yeah, all the time." She took a chew of her own food, a salad it seemed. It looked good. "Sorry if I was pushy. You just had a nice feel." She waved it off like it was nothing. "That sounds goofy, but most of the people in here are either entirely zoned out, or they're kinda creepy. You don't match either of those.

Oh, well... Good? "Glad I could help." I took a good bite of the burrito. Mmm, despite my urge to eat so much sugar, some real food was still good. I could feel my tail swaying left and right, brushing the chair behind me. She didn't notice, or didn't care. It was a fake tail, in my head, so of course that made sense. "I've had an odd week, really."

"Aw, that's too bad." She raised her soda for a toast, which I met, sloshing them together before we both took a pull. "Here's to us making it through the week."

"That's a toast I'm behind," I laughed in my strangely soft voice. That was all I needed to get more people to want to be social with me, become part-horse. Made perfect sense! "I have work in..." I glanced at the watch as I took another bite. "About half an hour or so."

"Fifteen here," she sighed, working on her lunch. "Still, nice meeting you. I'm Jessica." She offered a hand towards me.

I took it with my own smile. "Muffins." That... was not my name. That was not my name! "Sorry! I mean, uh..." I had a name. It was a lovely and nice name. I remembered a lot of people using it, calling me. "Ditzy."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." She patted me on the shoulder. "Muffins, huh? See you around." And she was up and moving, not noticing how upset I was at the loss of my name.

People didn't just... lose names, right?

"You have a name, it is--"

"Derpy!" I said out loud.

"Sure, that works," agreed the voice, actually responding to me for the first time. "Derpy, what a lovely mare you are. There's a griffon waiting so patiently for you to come here. Do hurry over. I'm not one to keep patients waiting on deliveries."

It was in my head, all in my head. Arguing with... myself... would just make me look crazy. So I tuned her out. I finished eating and started on my way towards the grocery store, clip-clopping a little more comfortably than I had before. I was... getting used to it, for better or worse, and part of me wanted to, what, not exactly skip, but move in almost a bounce, like... despite going totally nuts, part of me was happy, and wanted to show it.

By the way, I had lied. I wasn't wearing shoes. At least, not that I could see. I mean, I was fairly sure I was wearing them, or my feet would be all bruised, and people would be staring at me. I was clip-clopping along without any issue, so I must have had shoes. Easy logic!

My vision went funny, doubling, but without the same immediate headache. I just felt dizzy. "Wait for me!" cried a small filly, dashing down a cobbled road that was also the canned veggie aisle, racing to catch up with her father who was saying something but I couldn't quite pick it out.

They were gone, I was still walking, and growing, apparently. My undies were pinching something awful, not that anyone noticed or cared. There I was, walking through the grocery with no pants on, and no shoes, at least that I could see. Did anyone care? Nope! So I went with it, strolling to the break room in the back and into the bathroom there. Flicking the light on and clicking the lock shot, I had a little privacy.

The tiles in there were so... perfectly checkered. I spent a moment just admiring how my eyes could move from one black square to the next, infinite different patterns seeming to swirl depending on how I looked at it. It was a little thing, but I liked it.

Why was I staring at the bathroom floor?! I shook myself back into the present and hurried towards the bowl. Hooking my fingers into the band, I worked my undies down and off, letting out a loud sigh. "That's so better." My voice was soft, female. Kinda cute, if it wasn't my voice.

My voice was still there! I could hear me, the real me, just... pitch shifted and cracking in an awkward middle place. With my underwear removed, I turned to the nearest mirror that took up most of the room, stuck gazing at myself. I was... in short, a mess. Stuck in some strange partway point, the grey fur at the bottom of my legs was inching upwards. My tail was longer still, twitching fitfully. I crossed my arms over my new breasts, just to unfold them a moment later. I had... breasts.

That was not normal... I reached to feel one and shuddered. It wasn't a powerful sensation, really, in the big scheme of things, but it was so strange and just new. The dark nipples felt different, stronger? Just different... They were in the wrong place, halfway down my front as they were.

"You should say goodbye," whispered that female. "Go on. I can feel it. You're just nervous."

"Nervous about what?" I mean, I had a lot to be 'nervous' about.

"Becoming a lady instead of a gentlecolt, of course," she spoke, her voice seeming so calming and alluring, Seducing me into calm. "Reach for it. Tell it goodbye."

Now, if I were of sounder mind, I feel certain I would not have done what I did. But... I did. I had grown smaller since even just that morning. Despite that, I wrapped my stubborn fingers around it, and I did what most pubescent boys learn to do as they matured. Even as I went about this, in the middle of the bathroom, rocking my hips, standing on hooves, eyes glazed and one of them half shut, I could feel the, uh, new side of me stirring and responding.

When I arrived, I slammed over the finish line twice at the same time. My world contracted and exploded all at once, and I made quite the mess, roughly gasping for breath, trying to regain some manner of balance. Oh... wow... I mean... shoot, if being bi-gender was an option on its own, I might have taken it just for the intense rush that was a double climax...

I staggered towards the sink, forgetting about the mess I had just made. I cleaned myself up with paper towels and warm water, the floor, forgotten.

The door suddenly opened. Oh, right. That was a public bathroom, with multiple stalls. I stuffed the dirty paper towels in my hands down into the trash just as a guy wandered in past me. "Yuck." He noticed the mysterious mess on the floor and laughed. "People are hella dumb, leaving all kinds of messes." He didn't realize what the mess was, or that I was involved, despite being entirely exposed from the hips down.

I laughed nervously with him, glancing at the mirror and realizing I was all the way exposed. I grabbed my abandoned shirt and got it back on, not that he seemed to care. "See you on the floor." He worked there, I dimly remembered, but not much more outside that. I rushed out as he called out a mild complaint of leaving him the mess to deal with. In the mirror as I rushed, I could see my face was pushing out. I was gaining a pony's snout where once I had a nice flat human face. My nostrils flared with the sudden gasp of it.

I shoulda felt bad at that. I was too busy losing every marble I had. I was... Something was happening, and I didn't know how to describe it, or approach it, or what to do about it. Even if I was in a hospital, what would they even be looking for?! What I had, they had no cure for, but a padded room.

Damn it all.

I pushed through work, I had to. I kept making messes, but I took my first bosses' words into account. Slow down... I took it slower, carefully. It... was actually kinda working. Sure, the world was in double and the headache was coming back, but if I did things slowly, surely... I could get through it.

"Excuse me." A customer was behind me. "Where are the green beans?"

"Canned, fresh, or frozen?" I asked, standing up and turning to them, my imagined tail swishing about. I was genuinely happy at the idea of helping that person.

"Canned, if you have it?" He pointed to the pasta aisle. "I saw tomatoes in there."

"Oh yeah, you were close." I pointed to the aisle next door. "Right there, on the... uh, left side. Have a great dinner!"

"Thanks." They smiled, seeming genuinely happy at my service.

Which was the theme of the day. The customers increasingly loved me, my co-workers and bosses kept wondering what was wrong with me. I didn't have a good answer for them. I just tried to keep going, nice and slow. No more accidents... please... I suddenly tipped forward, my hoof striking a fallen can and I smashed face first into the floor, with the extra pain that a snout count bring to such an act. "Ow..."

But I gathered myself up and got it slid away before getting back to work, trying as hard as I could to ignore that I was still mostly naked. C'mon brain, start working again!

Author's Note

We get a bit explicit at points there, but that isn't the focus of this story, promise.

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3 - Girl Power

I was working. Each pony had a need. I took packages from some. I gave packages to others. Most were happy to deal with me, getting their mail needs met. "Have a nice day," I called cheerfully, waving as the last customer of the day left.

I woke up, going to roll up to my feet, instead flopping to my belly with a squeak. "Not a good start," I chastised myself. My voice... gone. It was a soft female voice. I had Derpy's gentle tones, adorable, and not supposed to mine. My psychosis had not faded... "I am a human," I said with Derpy's voice, which was an odd thing to hear Derpy say. "I own a sweet car."

I smiled a little. In the dark, I imagined Derpy saying these things that made no sense for her. "Oh no, it's time to do taxes and maybe eat something high in fiber." Okay, that was a bit silly, but it had made me smile. I stood up and grabbed for the light, only to hit the side of the lamp instead of the switch. I had to run my fingers up a bit until I found it. "There you are." With a nice click, light flooded the room.

The larger room? I was imagining things. I dusted off my front, noting that, yep, I had breasts. A perfectly normal thing for a guy to have, who wasn't sporting a big swishy tail as he...

Ugh...

Look... This is getting really hard, alright? I know I was born a guy, but I had lady parts, all of them... I clip-clopped into the bathroom, my gait feeling even funnier than the day before. I was... a lady... horse. A mare, that's the word. I flicked on the light in the bathroom and gasped loudly.

Gazing back at me in the mirror was me, surprised, snouted. That wasn't the odd part. Alright, that was pretty odd, but it wasn't the part that made me gasp. I was looking at me from far lower in the mirror. I had shrunk, a lot! "I..." I reached up for the mirror, running my fingers along the faux-wood as they trembled. Everything was bigger, because I was smaller. By the way, my breasts had fallen further. They basically looked like udders, horse udders. Small, compact, out of the way...

They still felt strange, which, well, they should! They weren't mine... They were... I let out a slow sigh, clip-clopping towards the toilet and having a seat to start the day. I could feel things moving in alien ways as I did my business as a female, not a male. I cleaned up and hopped down, the water flushing loudly behind me. "There has to be something I can do about this..."

For one, not a single pair of pants I had would fit me, but nobody seemed to care? I grabbed a white shirt, fearing it'd fit more like a tent, and it did just that. On top of that, something kept brushing uncomfortably. I reached back to adjust things, just for new limbs to spread, catching on the shirt. I had little baby wings, still growing, mostly featherless, but working on it. "Crap..." Derpy should never say that word.

I pulled the shirt back up and threw it aside angrily, which is when I noticed something else. My arms weren't right. They kept wanting to be more forward, and my balance was getting worse. I threw myself forward and in a spin, flopping to the ground gracelessly. On the positive, I didn't hit face first and mostly just kinda bounced off my shoulder. It was pretty harmless, and probably looked stupid as hell, and that was me. Yay me...

I was a mare. What little remained of guyness could, at this point, be mistaken for unusually large female bits. I was a naked mare that kicked along the floor as if that'd somehow help. It didn't. "This isn't fair!" I wailed with her voice, my voice. I pushed down against the floor and got back up to my hooves. My legs were shorter, I think? I...

I could have dropped to all fours and all four limbs would be even. I could... walk like a pony. I turned my hands towards myself, wriggling the fingers. They felt stiff, but they were still fingers, dang it. I would not walk on my hands... This wasn't me. I was... was...

"Muffins," whispered that female voice that had been haunting me.

"That is not my name!" I shouted, storming back into the bathroom and grabbing my toothbrush. "It's... Ditzy."

"Ditzy?"

"Ditzy Doo." I squeezed too much paste out and got to working on my teeth. Idle note, brushing with a snout is different than a normal human face. I mean, same basic motions, but the cadence was off as I worked all the way from the back towards the front. Even if I messed everything else up, I would brush my teeth, dang it. I would be so pearly white! As if that could somehow reclaim my control of my life.

"If you prefer that name," agreed the voice. "You are a lovely mare. Some stallions like the cross-eyed look. You pull it off."

Cross-eyed? I looked into the mirror to see that, yeah, my eyes were busy looking in not exactly the same direction. The doubling was there. I spat out the water and suds and rinsed myself out. "If you're still there, tell me how she lives with this headache." I could feel it growing, and didn't really want to spend the whole day with it.

"Like most ponies with her condition, she learned to favor an eye," advised the voice. "You start ignoring the other, and the headache goes away."

I closed my left eye and, like magic, the headache stopped increasing, then gently began to ebb away. "Huh..." The voice said something useful! Hirrah! "Now change me back."

"I can't do that," apologized Fetlock, though she didn't sound sorry about it. "You agreed to come, you are coming. It's just a matter of you finishing the trip. So sit back, relax, and let the pony in. The more you let go, the faster it'll happen and you can get on with a new life. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"I did not," I hissed out, storming out into the living room. "None of this fits!" I gestured helplessly at my clothes, all of them... "Whatever... If I'm still delusional, either this doesn't matter, or I'll be taken somewhere and maybe treated? Shit, hell... damn it." He began to clop in place, teeth clenched. "Calm down..."

I pushed out of my house, naked as the day I was born, and went for my bike. Nobody freaked out. Nobody called the cops. People nodded as they passed by. I was just a normal human guy, having a normal human day. I was soon at work, locking up and hopping free of the bike that was just a bit large for me with my lost foot of height.

"Slow and steady. Slow and... steady." My mantra. I could do it! I could make it, nice and slow. Nobody had to know I was imagining myself as a mare in front of them, my tail swaying to and fro as I took their order.

I had to get dressed. Thankfully, the apron could fit, even if it was large on my front. The tie in the back actually fit my wings better, which seemed larger, and feathery...er. I was growing pegasus wings. One day, maybe they'd work? Christ! Humans did not fly. Trying to fly sounded like a good way to end up in the news. Some random loon jumped off the roof of a building today. Next, in the weather...

I got through the morning rush, thank all the various gods. I put coffee in waiting hands and they even liked me. They liked my smile which wasn't my own. They didn't notice it... I think... but I swear they tipped more when my tail was doing a happy little dance. They couldn't see it, but they were reacting to it. The more my body emoted joy, the happier the customers were.

Slow and... I turned too quickly, crashing into a coworker and just... bouncing off of her. I squeaked, thrown to the side like I weighed half as much as I used to, which the lost foot of height coulda done? Either way, I thumped against the coffee maker, arms flailing. My hand connected with a carafe and hot coffee flew in an arc, our faces becoming masks of abject horror.

I was soon seated in my boss' office. My ears were pinned flat against my head, tears were stinging wildly as I sniffled dejectedly. I wasn't thinking right at that moment, but my ears had, at some point, become long and fuzzy. They could also swivel about on top of my head, which let them be folded back in a display of distress as they were.

"They are being rushed to the hospital," started the boss. "But that isn't the strangest part of this morning." She brought her fingers together as she was fond of doing. "Do you know what that is?"

I rubbed my thighs together, fingers worrying together. "Um... no?"

"She took my arm, on the gurney. I was busy trying to calm her, to make her not sue us into oblivion." My boss sighed gently. "She took my arm, and she looked into my eyes. 'Don't blame her, alright? She was trying her best.' That's what she told me as they wheeled her off."

Wait... There were multiple things wrong with that statement...

"I don't know what you've done, but the customers are in love with you. Look... just take a week, gather yourself. You're obviously overworked. You have a second job, don't you? That can be stressful to anyone... Just... take a break, get your balance back."

I couldn't afford that! I could... not...

She must have noticed my expression, or maybe the way my ears drooped miserably? "I'll put you at half pay. It's a vacation. Go, get your head back on."

That wasn't the only thing! "I'm a guy," I said in that soft female voice I'd been given.

She looked confused a moment. "Hm? Oh, of course. Pardon." As if she had just not noticed the color of the shirt I was wearing, not that I was wearing any shirt... She held out a hand. "I'll take the apron. Go home, come back in a week."

"Y-yes, ma'am." So I stripped entirely bare in front of her, not that she seemed capable of seeing me as unusual. I handed her the apron, my ears lifting a little, tail giving just a little sway. I wasn't being fired. That was good... right?

She smiled, picking up on the unseen cues. "This is just what you need. Relax. I'm sorry if I pressed you too hard. Let's just put this behind us and never do it again, hmm?"

And I left the office, returned to being naked. God that was so strange, wandering around just... naked... It was also a little chilly, wandering the street like that, but nobody cared. Not a single soul took notice. Was I really dressed and imagining the whole thing? Ugh... Even if they did throw me away, maybe it was time I stopped swimming in Da Nile and saw a doctor. Tomorrow... I had a shift, then I had free time, glorious free time... Maybe they could fix whatever was wrong with me.

Speaking of that, I really should have been way more cold. I patted over myself to discover I had fur, more fur. It was dotted all over my form in uneven patches, turning aside the worst of the wind and chill. One day, I'd be all furry, if things kept up. Ponies didn't even need clothes, outside of like the arctic...

"Ditzy!" A woman was approaching, the lady I had met the day before. "Hey there. You going for lunch again?"

Actually... "That isn't a bad idea." But there was something I... had to test. I reached for her hand and she didn't stop me from holding it, even if she looked a bit quizzical. "What do you see?"

"I see cars going by?" she answered and asked at the same time. "Can you be more specific?"

"What am I wearing?" I asked with a hopeful smile. This would prove it. This would prove everything.

"You're wearing..." She faded off as she spoke. Unseen to me, I had forced her past whatever veil shrouded me. I had pushed her between worlds, and her eyes widened. "What?! I... What...?"

I gestured with my free hand. "What color shirt am I wearing?" I didn't really get what conflict I had sparked in her mind. "What kind of pants do I have on? Shoes, or sneakers?"

She wrenched her hand out of my grasp. "You..." She reached forward for my head, settling fingers on a twitching ear. "How...?" I will admit, having someone gently rubbing your ears? Actually kind of nice. Pony ears liked being pet? Wait...

"You can see that?" It was my turn to shy away. No. No no no no no! No! It wasn't a delusion. It was real. I really was becoming a mare. I really was shrinking. I really was... I... I fell to my knees, they refusing to work in that moment of complete shock. It was better when I thought I was insane. Insanity could be fixed, or ignored...

"Now you've done it," chastised Fetlock, the voice. "Hey, you."

"Me?" The lady looked around wildly.

"Would you like to quit that dead end job of yours? I know a place where people never leer at pretty ladies that way. Where people are treated for their merits, not just their body. Doesn't that sound... nice?"

Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god! I was damning that nice lady to what was happening to me. "Don't listen to her!" I shouted, scrambling up to my hooves. "Just walk away, quickly, and forget you saw anything!"

She grabbed my extended wing, fingers running through the feathers. "What are you? What is that voice? What is going on? Why is she--"

"The deal is signed," sang the voice. "I never had a twofer like that. Thank you, Ditzy."

No! "Please, miss... Jessica. Run."

"You could if you wanted," spoke Fetlock calmly. "You already signed the deal. It doesn't matter. Take a good long look at Ditzy here. You'll come the same way. I have to go and find you a place. Every gap, a pony. Let's see which hole you'll be filling."

The voice faded, leaving the lady looking so confused at me. "What just happened? Seriously, what are you?" She stood up tall, looking me over. "You're... like a cartoon horse person?"

I mean... sorta? I was a strange half-human half-pony. I wasn't cartoonish though. "I'm so sorry... This is my fault." I thought I could prove or disprove my insanity, not drag someone else into it.

"What is your fault? Look, I do have to get back to work..." She let me step back a bit. "Give me your number. I'll call you afterwards. We should... talk."

Somehow, I got the feeling she more wanted to get a better look at me. I mean, if I were still human and I met a little pony... I'd do the same... "Alright." I gave her my number. "If I don't pick up, text." My phone wasn't even on me, somehow that making me feel more naked than actually being naked. "Good luck..."

She waved goodbye and hustled off to her work, not knowing what would eventually come for her. That thing I caused. Dang it....

But, that was it. It was official. I really was, physically, becoming what I saw. What I saw, I was that... My legs were... changing. They were on the way to becoming pony legs. My center of balance kept tilting forward, little by little. It was getting worse as the day went. Was that part of why I had been toppling over? I mean, Derpy was clumsy, but she didn't fall constantly. I was a pony trying to make like a human, and I fell, a lot.

It sorta made sense in a horrible way. I could try asking for help, but then I'd be dooming more people to follow after me. Maybe some of my online friends would have welcomed the opportunity. I had to smirk at that, imagining offering them a golden ticket to something so stupid. I doubted a chat or email thread would be enough, thinking on it. They had to see to believe, to... push aside things like I had with Jessica. They had to be literally next to me.

Side note, there were more ponies. I could make them out more frequently. They trotted to and fro. They chatted. They played and argued and did all sorts of things, though ignoring me, and humanity in general, as they did it, as if they were two entirely different worlds. And there I was, caught in the middle. I mostly couldn't hear the ponies, minus occasional instants. A shout here, an enthusiastic greeting there. Mostly, the ponies were silent, and I could but watch them.

Oh man. Was I going to join them? Would I fade away from the world as quietly as I was fading into theirs? That was creepy as hell to think of. What would happen, to me, and my life? Focus! I determinatedly clip-clopped to the grocery store and prepared for work. I stopped in at the boss' office on the way. "Hey."

"Hey." His eyes glanced to the clock on the wall. "You're not due in yet."

"Soon," I agreed, smiling at him, naked in his office. "I'm sorry to bring this up, really, but could I have... a few days off?"

He frowned at me. "When? You know how to reach the HR site, right?"

Of course I did, but... "I'm talking tomorrow."

"I had a feeling." He drummed one finger down on his desk, watching me. Despite my fallen stature being... unseen? He still met my eyes, down where they had dropped, not seeming to find that odd. I had continued to shrink through the shift, mind you, and I was about ready to flop over forward with how much my shoulders wanted to go forward. "You've been off your game."

That was... understating. I had sent quite the pyramid of boxes tumbling earlier in the shift... I put them back up, I swear! "I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow." No more putting it off. They'd fix me, I hoped... Part of me wanted to ask, to see if he could spot what was wrong with me, but he didn't deserve that... I wouldn't ruin his life. "Please?"

"Look, this isn't the time." He set his hands flat on the desk. "You're sick? Stay home. We don't need more excuses for people to pass things around here." He waved me off, the issue closed. "Call me when you're ready to be re-added to the schedule."

I would not be getting paid time off from him, still... It was time off... "Thank you." I bowed, which is not a normal thing I did, but it felt right, maybe because it meant surrendering a moment to how my body wanted to be. "See you later."

"Feel better."

And so I hurried home. The pedals on the bike were further and further away. I couldn't even sit on the seat, really. I had to adjust it. At least I could stay standing and keep it moving. Soon, I was home. I rushed into my apartment and found my phone sitting there, a few messages waiting for me.

One of them was Jessica.

Jessica here, call or text when you get home please. 🙂

Short and to the point... I hesitated a moment before clicking the call button. She picked up after half a ring. "Ditzy?"

"That's me," I admitted awkwardly. "Um, hi."

"Hello. May I come over?"

Oh, sheesh. We were moving fast. "Um, sure?" I gave my address. "Please don't report me to like bounty hunters." A little sleeping dart in the rump wasn't the goal.

"I won't, promise." She hung up without delay.

I barely had time to get dinner cooking when knocking came from the door. "Come in," I called, silently re-promising myself to get to the hospital.

Jessica hurried inside, closing the door behind herself. "Are you--" She saw me, coming around the corner and moving right into the kitchen to join me. "You're real." She reached without delay, her fingers trailing over my alien form. She brushed where I had no nipples. She pet my ears. She stroked along my snout. She just had to explore every bit of me, which meant I got tail pets, which... was nice.

I was being caressed by a lady I barely knew. Some part of me wanted to object far more strongly. "Look, really, sorry. I didn't mean to get you ponied too."

"Is that what that voice was saying?" She pulled me over to the couch and sank on it, placing me right in her lap. I was small, lap sized, and she seemed happy with that, holding me like a cute little doll. I wasn't a doll, darn it, but it felt nice, being held, being... cared for... "You're scared. Can I help?"

Could she help?! "Actually..." Come to think of it... "I want to go to the hospital tomorrow, to see what they can do... about this." I waved a hand over my little body. "Do you have a car by chance?"

"I do." She petted along my tail in slow pulls. "I'll stay here for now, and take you in the morning. How's that?"

I felt an almost purr escaping me as I wriggled in place. Being her little pony really felt nice. "That sounds... great! Um... maybe they can help you not do this?"

"Maybe." Somehow, I got the feeling she really didn't internalize that. To her, I was the cute alien. She wasn't going to become me. She just wanted me, the cute doll, to hold and stroke and call her own. I was a lot of girls' fantasy, a magic pony that she could hold and love.

She kissed an ear and I squeaked, turning red in my increasingly fuzzy cheeks. "Um?"

"I can stop if you want to," she gently allowed. When I didn't specifically tell her to stop, she went ahead, snuggling aggressively. I mean, let's be real. She was just moving right along to basically making out, minus our lips meeting. Her hands roamed over me, across me, and eventually even inside me, and I, born guy I was, was... kinda turned on by it all.

She was a nice looking lady, and she was busy making my strange body sing with new pleasures. As nice as my lady parts had felt when they triggered off the male parts, they were an entirely different experience with her fingers teasing at me down there, working me up entirely as a woman, er, mare. I complained about dinner, which I could smell was just getting past the point one should have taken them off, but she lifted me right up. "I'll turn that off... and you on."

That was cheesy. Corny, and whatever other word you have for a bad joke, but I didn't resist. That night, I was hers, shown the pleasure that could come when a female allowed another female to approach them like that. "You're... having sex with a pony."

"I've heard of stranger kinks." She gently brushed down my front, stopping to cup one of my udders and tickle in just the right way that had my hooves kicking the air. "You just tell me if I make you uncomfortable."

Author's Note

Not the way I originally had this chapter planned. Welcome, Jessica, though you will have your own journey with Fetlock. Hopefully a good one?

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4 - Push on Through

I woke up and... for the first time in a weekish, I felt... good. There was someone nestled in against me. Oh, right, Jessica. She was holding me. I could feel her hands, those talented hands, gently brushing my furry body. I was becoming more and more fuzzy, giving her a great surface for petting. "Are you awake?" she asked in the dark.

"Yeah." I gently wriggled away, only for her to pluck me up. "Hey! I can get myself to the bathroom." Really, of all the places to get help towards.

"But this is more fun." She carried me there anyway and set me down on the tiles, clip-clop I came down on all fours. My hands were still hands, thankfully, but there I was standing on all fours, tail twitching as i looked around.

"You take care of things. I'll make some breakfast." She hurried away, the door mostly closed behind her.

If I had any idea what was actually happening, I might have... actually enjoyed the trip. Jessica was fun to be around, and she really liked me, um... She liked having a pony, which I was rapidly becoming. It didn't help that I kinda liked being... had? I hopped up onto the bowl and sat up like a proper person, taking care of business. "Jessica, um, thanks, really, but I should go to the hospital." Seriously, maybe they could fix it. The odds were... lowish... But not zero!

She spotted me as I headed towards the kitchen where she was working. Soon I was getting ear scritches, damn them for feeling so nice. "As much as I am... kinda enjoying this, we barely know each other."

"We could fix that." She was not facing me, working on whipping up some eggs on the stovetop, one hand on my head. I was so small compared to her, or anyone, really. "I had a lot of fun, and I want to have more. You said you're enjoying this, so why let it end?"

Too fast! Too... "I'm scared," I just flat out admitted. "I'm really scared."

"Is it me?" She pulled the pan free and began serving a plate. "I'm sorry. I'm... excited. Look, let's be frank." She set the plate down on my table for me and reached to just casually pick me up and set me in the chair in front of it. How light was I?! "You are the most amazing thing to happen to me."

"You're going to be really upset eventually..." I imagined her becoming a pony much as I had. She'd eventually regret it, right? I reached for a fork despite that, trying some of the, mmm. "Hey, nice eggs. What'd you do?!" They never tasted that good for me!

She laughed softly at my antics. Excited and happy Derpy was adorable, I admit. "You must have not been using your spices properly." She sank down next to me. "Look, finish breakfast, then I'll take you. I want my Ditzy happy and healthy, alright?"

I felt my cheeks warm. She was so possessive! But it was... a really affectionate sort of possessive. I... really felt like I was the most precious thing she had, and that was... I liked it... "There's a chance they fix me," I noted. "If they do, well... then I wouldn't be a little pegasus anymore."

"Unless doctors have gotten a lot better than last I knew, that isn't much of a risk. At best, they can stop you from changing more." She reached under my chin, tickle-scritching me and encouraging me to meet her eyes. "You're pretty nice right now. I could live with you staying right here..."

I pushed the plate forward, emptied of food. "I... thanks, I think? Look..." I rubbed behind my head with a stiff hand. "I'm an adult... Heck, I was a guy! You could turn into a guy," I warned direly. "What would you do then?"

"Be your guy, obviously?" she said in a tone that implied, to me, she was not taking that seriously at all. "Relax. We'll work through this." She gently ran her fingers through my blonde hair. "Are you ready?"

I followed her outside, stumbling a bit as I went. My center of balance really wanted to just list forward, but I kept resisting it, forcing myself to walk upright. I was a person, dang it! Arg! She was tickling my closer cheek and it felt so nice. I paused a moment to just enjoy it before she began to move and the spell was broken.

I hopped up into her car as soon as she unlocked the door, allowing me to climb into position. I sat back firmly, trying to force my changed spine to get comfortable in the human way of things as I strapped in. "Ready!" I cried in the voice of Ditzy Doo, so cute, but also me. I was... cute.

I could feel the car moving, and the sky passing above, but... the angle... I had shrunk to the point that, seated in the car, I was like a child. I couldn't see what we were passing... Gotta say, not my favorite part of th--

Jessica began to tickle my belly, her other hand on the steering wheel. I laughed with all the gentle mirth of the little pony I was busy turning into. "Two hands on the wheel," I chastised, pushing her hand back with my own. My eyes wandered off, spotting a flight of pegasi for a moment, but they were gone just as quickly. "Did you see that?"

"See what?" She hadn't. She took us swiftly to the hospital, drawing up into the parking. "So... if people don't know what you are, they just see a person? I... thought you were a friendly face, harmless... That's why I talked to you in the first place." She began powering things off and unlocking the doors. "They may look at you and see nothing wrong, you realize? But even if they do, I won't abandon you, alright?"

She took one of my hands in hers. She had, comparatively, large hands. Large, dry, and comforting. God, it was like she was my mom or my big sister, but, you know, also she liked me in a not-family way. And I liked being liked.

"Hello," greeted a receptionist. She looked between Jessica and I. "Is something wrong with your daughter?"

Daughter? I blinked, trying to clear the double vision. Where there had been a receptionist, a smiling unicorn mare sat, watching us. "Have a seat and we'll be right with you," she promised. I rubbed at my eyes and she was gone, back to being a human.

Her words remained true, with Jessica taking me off to have a seat. I lifted from the ground, being placed in her lap. "They see you as my daughter," she whispered. "That works, means there won't be questions about why I'm staying with you."

I nestled back against her, my tail swishing without my say so to brush against her belly. "Daughters do not do what we've been doing." I crossed my arms over my flat chest. I was flatter than even a man would be, with not even nipples to my name, at least up there. "Thank you... for sticking with me."

I looked around, my vision fuzzy, doubled. My legs were, simply, pony legs through and through. It almost felt like I should be seated on my haunches, which I had, but I also had a butt, which is what I used, thanks! Across the way, I saw a grizzled stallion with his arms crossed, puffing a cigar that blew bubbles. I blinked at the outrageous sight and he was gone, replaced with a human man that wasn't trying to smoke in a hospital.

"Our turn." She was paying more attention than me, gently setting me on the ground. I went to all fours so naturally, event taking a step before I sprang back up to two legs, forcing myself at a march.

"I hope they can help," I sighed out, walking along with Jessica down a hallway towards an open door on the left.

"I'm with you." Her hand moved to my shoulder, squeezing gently as we went inside. "Up you go." She lifted me right up onto the exam table. "You let the good doctor take a look at you."

Ugh, she was really getting into being my mom... "I'm still an adult," I whined softly in Ditzy's voice, the voice only making me blush.

"Good morning." Ah, there was the doctor, examining a clipboard. "You didn't explain what was troubling her, ma'am. We should start there." He came towards me, his smile growing. "Hello there. How do you feel today?"

Ugh, in his eyes, I was a cute little human girl. "I'm not even sure how to start explaining this, but I wasn't born a girl and I really need help, badly."

"I see." He didn't see. He didn't sound even remotely convinced. "Why don't we start with a basic checkup, see how things are going?" He began to peek in my eyes, my big fuzzy ears, which he ignored for being fuzzy. He listened for my heartbeat as I felt things changing. I was becoming more and more a pony by the moment. "You seem fairly normal," he announced.

"Look harder!" I cried, leaning forward. That's when I noticed he wasn't a human either. I was facing a unicorn doctor, his head tilted. "Uh..."

"You're a perfectly normal mare," he said as if he were repeating it. "Not a thing out of place, other than a case of strabismus, but your chart shows that's a known condition." He gently patted me on the shoulder. "You're just fine, Muffins."

"That's Ditzy," I sighed out miserably before I looked around. Where was Jessica?! She had vanished. I was... alone with the stallion that thought I was Ditzy Doo. "Um, where'd the woman go that I came in with?"

"Pardon?" The doctor paused in his turn away. "You came in by yourself. You should get some rest. I'm sure the mailmare service would give it to you."

And he trotted out, unaware of how my life was crumbling around me. I reached out a ha-- Oh god. What had been a hand was more of a hoof, a blunted end of my arm, no fingers to speak of, rapidly forming a hoof for proper walking. I was finishing up, and I was in the pony world. I could hear the clip-clop of other ponies going past. I couldn't see any humans. I had slipped between the cracks.

What if I had acted sooner? Like if I marched in there on the first day. Maybe they could have helped me. Maybe they could have stopped the whole thing, and I'd just be... stuck kinda partway pony. Better than... whatever that was.

I fell off the table, hitting the ground on all fours with a soft clopping noise as I began ambling towards the exit. Other sick or injured ponies waited patiently for their turn, not paying me much mind. Oh! I saw a human, also waiting. I rushed towards them, waving wildly with a proto-hoof. "Hey! Help! Please help!" But the human couldn't hear me, just as I couldn't hear ponies most of the time before. I had swapped places. "Please..." I grabbed for them, but I just fell right through them like they were weren't actually there.

By the time I sat up, they really weren't there.

"You alright?" A nurse pony was looking at me quizzically. "You look disoriented." She trotted away just to her desk and grabbed a clipboard in her teeth as she sat and flipped it around, using her hooves and arms to help get it facing herself. "Let's see... The doctor says you really should get home. Do you need help?"

I needed more than that cute little pony nurse could give me... "I'll be alright." I stood up, forcing myself to rise from the floor and walk as humans did, which I wasn't much of anymore. "Have a good day."

"You too," she sang out, waving and setting her clipboard back where it began.

I almost made it out when I thumped right into someone. "Sorry."

They grabbed my wrist. "Hey!" It was a griffon, sneering at me. "Let go!"

"I don't think so." He pulled me towards himself as he moved to turn away, hauling me along. "You're mine now."

"Stop! Hey! Leggo!" I saw another human just coming in and waved frantically for them, but they didn't see me, walking right through me. I was on my own. I feel when he tugged me, flopping to all fours. Click! He slipped a collar on me! A collar!

He also held the leash. "C'mon, girl. Heel!"

The worst part, beyond being collared, is that I did move to follow him, clopping along on all fours. "Why is this happening?" I asked, tears stinging at my eyes.

We were soon outside, away from even pony assistance, not that there was anypony hanging out in that little entry hallway. "I paid good bits for this. You play nice and give me what I want," huffed the griffon as he went, glancing over his shoulder. "We have a train to catch. I've been in Pony Land too long anyway, phah."

I took the time to examine my captor. He was a brown cat, with a nice big swishy tail that had a golden fluffy bit towards the end that worked from maybe the last fifth of it out to a big featherduster of a furry bit extending out. He was more greyish on his bird parts, spread wings, chest, and head. He had a brown beak and blue eyes and oh god I thought he was kind of handsome and I'm not gay!

He yanked my leash suddenly, forcing me to hustle up at his side. "Good mare. Now, here's the deal. I want to learn a few things, and you're going to help me."

Wait, what? This guy paid for me to... teach him something? "Uh... okay?" We were moving brisky through the city, weaving around other ponies, none of whom seemed to care that I was leashed. Oh! Did they think I was playing a game? I blushed at the idea, them averting their gazes to not see the mare being led around like a pet. They probably thought I was some kind of kinky degenerate.

"The name's Gael," noted the griffon. "Remember it. You should know who owns you." His tail lightly thwipped my twitchy pony nose. "Got it?"

"Hey... Gael, can I ask for something?"

He yanked the leash. "What?!"

"I... really want a shirt." I felt, somehow, even more naked, surrounded by naked people. Surrounded by magic ponies, I was feeling naked. It was stupid as heck, and I somehow even knew it, but it remained true. "Please?"

He rolled his eyes like he had just been asked for something from a little kid they should have known better than to ask for. "Whatever, we'll check the gift shop, but we're getting on that train. If you think you can sneak away from me, think again."

I hadn't actually been thinking of sneaking away, but he raised an excellent point. Why wasn't I looking for a way away from him? He didn't seem like the nicest person, and he was kidnapping me. Two points against him! But the way he moved, the way he talked. I... found myself liking him, even though he'd given me literally no reason to.

We were in a train terminal and he led me into a little tourist trap of a store. "Pick one! When did ponies need a shirt anyway?" He huffed softly, crossing his arms. "You better not pick a fancy one..."

"Just a normal one." I clip-clopped forward, a little new to going on all fours, but it wasn't as bad as maybe it should have been. I wasn't constantly tripping, that was a plus! "Here." I put my hooves on a nice normal white T-shirt. "This one, please."

He grabbed the price tag and squinted at it. "Fine, whatever. Hey!" He waved down a store clerk and soon gave them a few bits before thrusting the shirt against me. "Here, c'mon! We're gonna be late!"

He hurried ahead of me, and I followed along, feeling... I dunno, happy. Like that shirt he just got me was a huge gift, but it felt like one. I felt like someone who cared about me (and wasn't my kidnapper) had just gone way out of their way to get me a precious something I had been wanting forever (about ten minutes).

We were sat down on benches, my leash dangling between us, held in his hand, attached to my collar. "So..." Seriously, that was not alright. "Why am I collared?"

"I paid good bits for you. You ain't going nowhere." He huffed and rocked in place as the train began moving. "The shirt fit?"

Oh! Well... "Yeah." I worked my arms in slow circles, admiring the shirt I still felt really good about. seriously, it wasn't that nice of a shirt, but it was my shirt. "Thanks. Really, you're kinda foalnapping me."

He raised a brow at me. "You're mine. I can't foalnap what's mine."

I hated that I had no ready argument for this logic! Part of me, I'll call it the human part, was so angry! He was taking me to god knows where, to do who knows what with. I had a job, two of them in fact, and a life and I'd just made a kinky girlfriend that admired my little wings...

Um, anyway, what a jerk! "I won't run," is what came out of my mouth.

"Good, so sit down and relax." He thumped down himself. "If you're good, I'll get you a treat with dinner."

A treat you say?! "Like dessert?" I licked my fuzzy lips, suddenly very interested.

"If you want."

And so the day went, with me looking out the window, watching the pony world pass by. Sometimes, I'd see a house, or a car racing to keep up with the train. Little hints that the human world was there, but it never lasted for all that long. I was... slipping away, or it was moving away from me. Whichever was doing the moving, our distance was growing deeper and deeper.

I reared up and reached out my arms. Hooves. I had full hooves. I brought one up close and nuzzled at one of my frogs, managing to tickle myself into a little giggle.

"Somethin' up?" Gael was peering at me suspiciously.

"No!" I tucked my arms behind my back. At least, in pony land, I wasn't so small. Everyone was small, so I was just average. "You... know where I came from, right?"

"Somewhere else?" He shrugged softly. "Fetlock made you, for me. You're going to do what I want. Simple as that."

"Fetlock?" I stepped down from my bench and walked closer to him, causing the leash to droop to the floor with how close I was. "Who is that?"

He put a talon on my chest and pushed me back as if I was standing on ice, sliding away from him. "She's the one that made you, dummy. I asked, she delivered. I paid, she made a pony. That's how it works. Any other dumb questions?"

"I... She didn't make me." I still didn't know who she was. Was she the voice I had heard? "I had a life. I... My name..." I couldn't remember my name, outside of Ditzy Doo, which, while a fine name, was not the one I was born with, I felt sure... "I had two legs!" Yep, two legs, I was sure of that. "Gael, that's your name, right?"

"Yeah, good, remember that." He sat down. "I'm Gael, and I own you."

Every time he said it, it felt more true. I was Gael's mailmare. I was his. I...

"Hey, whatcha crying about?" He was glaring at me. Crying? I reached a hoof and soon confirmed I was leaking pretty badly. "Cut it out."

I was being re-written, as Gael's Ditzy Doo... "Would you be mad if... I was a little myself?"

"What?" He had no idea what struggles I was wading through. "Whatever, just do what I say." He pointed back to my bench. "Sit down, relax."

I laid down on my belly on that bench, a little smile on my face. My tears were ebbing a bit. He could have crushed me, kept insisting I forget all the things that bothered me, driven my old self away, but he hadn't. He'd given me permission to hold onto it. I wouldn't die, to be replaced by Ditzy... "Thank you..."

My sitting there and not asking questions or making a fuss was more what he was aiming for, and he seemed to get less grumpy when it became clear I'd give him exactly that. He grabbed a newspaper and began browsing the articles. It was backwards to me, and written oddly, but I could understand it, if I stared long enough. I was learning Ponish... freaky.

I wriggled. Something was... not fitting right. I stretched left and right and reached back a hoof to work at where there were two bulges under my shirt.

"You're kidding me." He slapped his newspaper down and came closer. "Ugh, I blame myself. I didn't check either, but seriously, a mare should know how to dress herself."

"What's wrong?" I started to turn with him, but his talon directed my face ahead and kept me still as he circled me. "Did I do something?"

"A little something." The sound of tearing cloth reached my ears as he ran a talon down in two slits, allowing my wings, larger than last I had seen them, to burst free and folded up against my back, no longer bound by the shirt. "There, all better."

"Thank you!" I pounced him, hugging tightly despite how angry I was at him and what he'd done. I was so relieved in that instant, I just kinda forgot about the rest, for that moment. "I feel much better."

He shoved me away and pointed at the bench. "Sit. We'll eat soon."

I hopped up and sank. "Have I been good enough to get that treat?" That treat was very important to me, alright?! I'd had a hard day, and a little treat just sounded so good right then...

"Yeah, sure." He stepped down, pulling me right back up to my hooves to follow him. "C'mon."

I followed after him, watching his body move. Did Fetlock add that, make me... like the person who had paid to snatch me away. I missed my bike, even if it didn't let me go as far and fast as my wings did. I felt them pumping gently on my back, imagining a long flight, delivering some package to somewhere. Mmm, good times.

Wait, I'd... Did I ever do that? I was pretty sure I did not! I was a... human, yes that's it. A guy! I worked retail. I helped people get their coffee fix! I helped people around the grocery store. I got yelled at by angry managers when I messed that up.

"Right here," his voice cutting through my thoughts, pointing at an open seat before hopping up to one across from it. "I'm damn hungry. Fetlock had me waiting most of the day for you to show up. And you didn't even bother to do it where she was? She sent me halfway across town to pick you up!"

"Sorry." I rubbed behind my head with a hoof. "Will a muffin make you feel better?"

He blinked at my suggestion. "No, it will not. I'm going to have a big bloody steak and enjoy the way ponies squirm while I do it. You can have the muffin since you like it so much."

So I rode away from Manehattan, with a muffin. At least it wasn't all bad?

Author's Note

Ah, hello Equestria. We missed you! Let's get into things properly now, hm?

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6 - Tour Guide Shift

I flexed my neck to bring down a stick and bang a pot with it. "Wakey wakey!" I cried out in half a song. "Time to get ready for a new life!"

"Huh?" Gael sat up in his nest, scowling at me. "It's barely light out! It can't be time to go!"

"You have to get ready to go," I explained with a smile. This was a routine I knew well. "First we eat." I pointed to the kitchen. "Good food makes for a good day."

He grumbled as he half fell/flew down to my level and stormed into the kitchen. "I don't even do breakfast half the time."

"There's your first problem." He had eggs, I had spotted them. I dug them right out and carefully slid them onto the counter. Jessica had made such good eggs! I'd try to channel my inner Jessica, for Gael. "You just relax and I'll have breakfast in a flash!"

"Ponies eat eggs?"

"It's not for me, and yes we do." I mean they ate cakes and things, and that wasn't flat bread or a baguette, so, yeah, eggs were involved, I could only assume. I got to awkwardly cracking a few eggs into a bowl. Hooves sucked for this work! I had something better... Something... Oh, like what Gael had, fingers, right. I had those, and I missed them.

I could feel Gael's eyes on me. "You know how to make those?" He didn't move to help, or interfere, just, you know, watching. Let him! I had a bowl of eggs and grabbed a.... Oh, he had no whisk. He had a fork! I grabbed the fork in my teeth and got to swishing around the mix, getting it nice and frothy.

"You can't be doing too bad."

"Huh, what makes you say that?" He peered at me confusedly.

"You have this." I waved a hoof about. "Bigger than the other nests, with a stove and a fridge! You have bits."

"I know how to budget," he spat. "And how to save. Those other jerks waste every bit they get."

I poured the egg mix into a waiting pan and with a nice sizzle, got to spicing and fluffing up the eggs as they cooked. "Cooking up some eggs," I sang to myself as I worked, wings pumping idly in a simple joy of the act. "I hope you're hungry!"

"I wasn't before..." Which was not a denial. He could smell what I was making, and he wanted it! Score.

With a flick of a wing, I sent the plate sliding in front of him. "Ta da! One set of Derpy Eggs."

He inclined his head a bit, then forgot his objections in favor of devouring the food. "You need to not get in the habit of waking me up," he grumped despite his eager devouring of the food. "Mmm, not bad."

I had succeeded! I ate the leftovers with a smile, but my eyes were on him. "Next step is washing up."

"What?"

I raised a fuzzy brow. "Wash up. You're all messy from sleep and eating. You're not going into work like that!" No wonder he needed help!

"Ain't never stopped me before." He pushed his plate back. "All done." That was as close to a 'thanks' as I'd get that morning. "Not bad." Closer... "You don't even know where to wash up."

"So show me." I was already cleaning the kitchen, tidying up after the mess I had made. I soon slipped a wing under his plate and ferried it away to the sink. Those wings were kinda useful! I mean, besides the flying part, that was awesome, but they were like a hand each if you let them do their thing. I liked wings.

"You sure seem... happier now." He stalked up closer to me, not as quiet as he probably wanted to be. "What's up with that?"

Well, yeah. I remembered being super upset when we first had met. "I used to live somewhere else." I couldn't provide too many details. "You and Fetlock took me away from it, without a lot of warning." I rubbed behind my head with a hoof. "I was scared, alright?"

"And now you aren't? Whatever, ponies are super strange." He huffed, swatting me across the back. "You sure washing is going to help me make bits?"

"Completely." I turned away from him, the vast majority of dishes looking better. "Now show the way. You don't have a bathroom, which confuses me."

"You're used to having a room just for a bath?" He shook his head slowly. "Crazy. I ain't wasting bits on that."

"Well, instead, you get to walk to where the bath is."

"Which is the river," he reminded, throwing open the door to the outside world. "C'mon!"

As I trotted past him, he thumped me with the flat of a hand. "By the way, you're dumb."

"What's that for?" I rolled my eyes as I emerged onto the morning street. "You're the one that asked for me."

"But you were not 'somewhere else'." He rolled his eyes right back at me. "You were made, for me, like her."

"Nuh uh." Despite our argument, we were moving away from the house. I could hear the sound of the river we were approaching. "Is that it?"

"The only one we have." He crested the hill and came down towards the bubbling stream. "Are you going to drag me here every day?"

I had to pause a moment. He didn't... "You don't bathe every day on your own?" I said out loud, interrupting my own thoughts.

"Pfft." In he went despite that. "I don't even like water."

"I'll make it better." With a twitchy tail, I went in after him. "But first, I want an apology."

"I didn't do nothin'," he grumped, crossing his soggy arms.

I splashed water at him, shoving my hooves forward. The water was cold! But not unbearably so. Still, cold. "You ripped me away from my home." Not that I could remember what home was, but I knew I had one. "I had a job." Besides being a mailpony. Not that being a mailpony was bad. "Say sorry."

He sent a wave back at me, proving that a hand can pedal water better than a hoof could. "Yeah? Prove it. What job? And if you say carrying mail..."

"It wasn't that!" I was pretty sure... "I did help people though, like I'm gonna help you." Oh, wait, like hands! I brought my wings at him, scooping up water as it went in a nice big wave, sploosh!

"Hey!" He sputtered and shook off as best he could. "Damn ponies. Am I clean enough yet?"

"No." I closed in on him and began scrubbing. Hooves against fur and feathers, I was determined to get him as clean as I could in the rushing water. We had no soap provided, but it didn't mean I couldn't scrub vigorously and let the water carry most of the dirt away. "Your boss is going to be so impressed!"

Idly, he was a male catbird, I confirmed as I went. I assumed that was a cat thing I had felt, not that I lingered. Still, by the time I was done, I was still blushing, realizing what I had touched. "All better."

He shoved away, back towards shore in broad forceful steps. "Great, let's never do that again." He was soon shaking himself off vigorously, sending water all over. Thankfully, he had climbed out on a rock, not sand, so his paws didn't get all mucked up again.

"Looking good," I called. Well, he looked good before then, but he was even better! "You need one more thing."

"You said one more thing last time." He glared at me as I climbed free of the water, but it turned to confusion as I walked away from him. "Where're you going!?"

"I don't want to get you wet, silly." I began to shake as some part of me really wanted to do, sending water off in all directions, but not getting him wet again. "Better. Alright, now." I looped back around and, ah ha! Some griffon, probably, left their towel just laying there, hanging from a branch. I grabbed it and inspected it quickly for dirt.

"You need help drying off?"

"Hm? No." I held the towel towards him. "We're going to get you dry. Can't go into work all damp." I attacked him viciously with a new round of rubbing, getting him from 'mostly dry' to 'pretty much dry' with a good round of rubs. "Don't you feel better?"

"This isn't what I paid for," he grunted, looking himself over. "Still, uh... thanks. I didn't think a pony tutor would include this." He started back towards town, glistening and clean. I had done my job well! I trailed after him with a big grin, stupidly proud of what I had accomplished.

I mean, sure, I was a pony. I was pretty sure I wasn't always that. Completely sure. But I was a happy pony. I was doing my part... I flapped my wings as I went, considering taking them for another spin later. Maybe I'd learn how to land without smacking into the ground...

I realized there were no clocks... "What time is it?"

He made non-comittal noise.

"We have to be on time after all that!" I stomped a hoof down. "Where's work? Better early than late by far. We have to get you a clock."

"There you go, suggesting I waste my bits." He huffed at the idea, but did start in a new direction. Work? I could but hope. "Why are you following me?"

"I need to see how you work." I mean, duh? How else was I going to give any real advice. I could coach the start of his day, but that only went so far. "To work! Unless they have rules against me being there?" That would be awkward.

"Not specifically." He rubbed behind his head a second before resuming his walk. "Whatever, let's go." As I trotted a little behind him, he turned one of his ear tufts at me. "You aren't flying."

"Nope!"

"Why aren't you running?" He fished out my leash. "Shouldn't you be wearing this?"

"I'm yours," I reminded. "I'll wear it if you want me to, but not while we fly. That doesn't work."

He snickered in remembrance of my attempt to fly with it on. "Sure doesn't. Whatever." He tucked the leash back away. "Keep the collar on."

"I wasn't thinking about it." Which, of course, meant I had started to think about it. The collar was not something I was used to wearing, but, he had given it to me, and told me to wear it, so... of course I'd wear it! I was not trained in such things. Was it a nice collar? I couldn't tell and didn't even have a mirror to inspect it with. I was collared...

"There." He pointed to... not a building. It was a little stand with a map on it. "Behold, my job."

I saw no boss. I trotted over and saw no stock either. I saw nothing but a place to stand. "Uh..."

"What?" He lifted the counter and slipped inside, letting it close behind himself. "I stand here, offer tours."

"I'll just... watch." I looked around and saw a convenient perch. With a quick little flapping, I had sat myself on a thick branch no other creature was using. "Good luck!" It struck me a moment after that, hey! I had flown, and not crashed. Go me! I came down from my euphoria to notice Gael standing there as griffons went by.

"Want a tour?" he asked one. "Hey, I'll show you around!" he shouted at another. None of the griffons seemed to be paying him much mind. Most ignored him entirely, when they weren't looking annoyed at his shouting. He was getting nowhere fast, and it seemed clear to me some of the reasons why.

"Not a lot of bites?" I asked, coming in for a-- Right into the stand, thwap. I crashed gracelessly with a little grunt.

Gael leaned over the side to look down at me with a smirk. "Smooth."

"You're not doing better." I sat up, my eyes spinning a moment as things settled back into place. "You can't just shout at everyone. You're selling a specific thing."

"Guides? Duh?" He drummed his fingers on the wood of his counter. "Tell me something new."

"Guides, yes." I nodded quickly. "So people who live here don't need it. Why are you even looking at them?"

He squinted at me. "I'm supposed to keep track of them all?"

I had to. I put a hoof to my face with a sigh. "It's really gonna help this job. For a day or two, just try saying hi, learn who is who. When you get an idea of who's always here, stop bothering them, go for the new people." I brought my hooves together in a smart clop. "Ah ha! Cheat! If you see a pony? Probably from out of town. Not a griffon in general, go for it, but for griffs, learn your neighbors! They don't want it, and being asked if they want a tour just annoys them."

"Uh huh..." He didn't look entirely convinced. "I'll try..." He reached down to ruffle the top of my head. "Hey, thanks. You're doing what I got you for." I felt like smiling, so I did. "Keep it up." He waved back towards my perch. "And get lost, I see more folks comin'!" I scooted out of the way as he looked to who was approaching.

He recognized them! Good, we had just talked to her. "Hey, Gelly, right?"

"That's the name," she agreed, peering at Gael. "You alright? You never remember anygriff's name."

"We just talked," he noted, agreeing with my thoughts. "Ditzy enjoyed the chat."

Her expression softened a little. "I see her there, peeking. Is she watching you, or me?"

Crap, spotted! I ducked back a bit more around the corner of the building I had been hiding behind.

He chuckled softly. "Me. She's trying to help."

"You going to start doing real work?" She stood up taller, which I could see, peeking back out. "Why don't you work in the mines? Good bits for anygriff willing to get dirty."

"I don't want to mine." He snorted a little, looking her over. "Anyway, you don't want a tour... right?"

"Right." She rolled her eyes. "I was surprised you didn't start with that. No griff is gonna want that!" She threw up a talon as she began to walk away. "You're wasting your time!"

He grumbled a little, looking off where I had hidden. "Was that better?"

"I... think so, yeah." I emerged, nodding at him. "She wasn't angry at you like the others. You made a friend!"

"We barely know each other."

"You could fix that." I stuck out my tongue a little and sat on my haunches. "But not now. Now is work time. I have more ideas, for later." I tapped my chin thoughtfully.

He looked pleased at that. "Good, you keep on thinking. I'm paying you to make this better." He turned back to the griffons going past, eyes sweeping quickly. "Hey you!" A griffon looked to him. "New 'round here?"

"Someone asked me to come by," replied the griffon with a raised feathery brow. "Why?"

"I offer tours." He waved to his sign. "Show you where everything is around town."

Oh, how I smiled. He was doing it!

"Like what?" demanded the griffon, peering at Gael.

"Like where to drink." He counted on his fingers as he went. "Where to wash." Was he listing places I cared about? Aw. "Where to buy food, all the basics. You want to know where something is, I'm your griffon."

"How much?" The griffon put his hands on his sides, the scowl growing. "You want all my bits?"

Oh shoot. I didn't see a price sheet. What was the going rate?

"Twenty bits," declared Gael.

"Pass." The griffon began to turn away, but Gael snatched him on the shoulder before he could finish. "What?"

"That's my tourist price," assured Gael, smooth! I didn't teach him that. "You said a friend invited you, right?"

"Yeah. Gale." He pointed the way towards Gale, whoever that was. "You know him?"

"We're all friends around here." Boy was that a big fat lie. "So I'll give you the local price." I bet he had no local price, seeing as he didn't know who the locals were. "Half that."

"Ten bits huh?" He scratched at his beak a moment. "Sure, show me what you got." He dug out a little coin and gave it to Gael.

Gael looked disappointed. "I said ten."

"You get ten when I like what I see. Go on, earn the rest."

Gael grumbled and flipped up the counter to get past it. "Fine! Whatever. We're closest to the market, wanna get something to eat? That's the place." And off they went.

I considered following him. How he acted with his customers could make a big difference... Off I went, trailing after the two griff-- Something was holding my tail. I looked back over my shoulder to see Gelly with my tail firmly in her talons. "Hiya." I waved at her, always nice to see a friend. "I need to keep up with them."

"What are you doing?" she demanded instead of letting me go. "You've been watching him all day."

"That's my job," I pointed out with a little nod, as if that was super obvious and anyone should know that. "I'm showing him how to be better at his job. I need to keep up."

"You ponies are crazy." She released my tail. "Seriously, if he ever makes you cry though? Lemme know."

Aw, she cared! I reared up and grabbed her, wrapping both arms around in a big hug. "You're super nice, but I really gotta run!" And off I dashed, leaving the stunned Gelly behind.

I found my targets talking. I had missed the market, aw. They were walking away from it. At least I had a peek at where the market was, but they were headed for the river. I knew where that was.

"Put something in, something comes out," joked the griffon. "Know what I mean?"

Gael just nodded a little. Two points off! "The river's just up ahead. You can get a... oh, yeah, don't drink there." One point regained. "Fine for washing though. I did it this morning." Too much information!

"I bet..." Still, they came on the river. "Huh, looks alright."

Gael shrugged at it. "A river." He waved at it as if presenting some treasure. "You'll miss it when you can't find it."

"Point," allowed the other griffon, turning back to town. "You said you can't drink from it. Give me a second." He scurried off to answer nature's call, then came back. "Where do you get a drink around here?"

Gael got a bit of a smirk suddenly. "You want something hard, or soft?"

The other griffon laughed. "It's too early to get smashed. Something soft. Shoot, water that won't send me running back here would do just fine."

"Well, uh..." Shoot, he had forgotten a name. "I know a place that does fruit drinks. Ain't bad at all. There's a well we use for drinking or drawing from. I can show you either, or both." He waggled his brow. "Say if we can get more of that ten bits."

A bit pushy! Still... A few coins emerged. It had worked, to my surprise. "A pleasure doing business." Gael led the way with a smile, back into town, to the well. "Here she is, always keeping us full up when we need it."

"What kind of fruit?" He wasn't all that interested in the well besides knowing where it was. "Something good?"

"Some kinda citrusy thing? I like it." Gael shrugged softly. "When I wanna splurge."

"Prefer the free stuff, huh?" The other griffon followed as Gael led the way towards the fruit drink stand that was maybe a block away from the market. "Hey, they have a selection." He sauntered up to the couple that ran the place. "Give me the run down."

They all started talking about what drinks were available and their prices. Gael wandered towards me instead of listening in. Why was I so bad at hiding! "Hey, how am I doing? You getting more ideas?"

"Yes." I nodded at him and pointed. "But right now, you should be paying attention and acting interested. The more he thinks you care, the more he might tip." Oh yeah! "And don't get angry if he doesn't!"

"Why shouldn't I?" He huffed, but went back to stand by his customer.

"I'll try one if he does." He hiked a thumb at Gael.

"Huh?" Poor Gael had not even been there to hear what they were talking about.

The hen behind the counter offered a cup of some strange purple fluid.

The tour customer waved at it. "Go on, on me. You drink it and you don't die, I'll have one."

"Yeah..." Poor Gael sure looked like he didn't want to try it, but he reached for it anyway. Go on, do it! He took a loud sip from it, and he perked right up, then guzzled the rest down. "Mmm, that's pretty good!"

"I'll take one," quickly demanded the guide customer, getting one for himself. "Sorry for doubting you."

The hen looked smugly vindicated. "A blend of berries, grapes, and other secret ingredients give it that kick. It's great, isn't it?" The customer was soon drinking it, though less quickly than Gael had. "I see you like it."

Gael gestured at the vendors. "See, told you. Anything else you wanna see?"

"Nah, think that's enough." He dug out some more bits and slapped them on the counter, then a few of them made its way into Gael's eager talons. "See you next time."

"With pleasure." Gael pocketed his coins with a smile, watching the griffon wander off.

"You never came here before," noted the male griffon when the customer was out of ear shot.

"Now that's a lie, Gary. He's been here a few times." The hen grinned at Gael. "Always wants the peach drink and runs off."

"Well, yeah..." Gael scratched behind his head. "The guy asked for soft drinks and I thought you would fit the bill."

"Well, thanks for that." The husband(?) thrust forward a hand and they shook. Was that a bit? I couldn't be sure. "You run into anycreature else that's thirsty, you send them this way."

Gael strutted off, looking mighty proud of himself. I caught up with him quickly. "Happy?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" He patted where his coins were, the metal jingling softly. "I don't normally get this much from a single sucker."

"Customer."

"Whatever."

"They won't be either if you call them that." I stuck out my tongue at the idea of calling customers that. "They will hear if you go around badmouthing them. Besides, they give you those coins, be happy with them too."

"Yeah, sure." His growth would not be instant. "Good job though." I perked. "You earned a treat today." I was suddenly quite happy. "Since you like it so much, how about a steak for both of us."

"I feel like I hit my limit of steak." Maybe it was being a pony. My insides were not made for steak, tasty as it was. "Hold onto that thought though." Treat! "How about I get one of those drinks." I pointed back the way we had come. "You two looked like you were really enjoying it."

He snorted out a laugh, swatting me across the withers. "Alright, one drink for you. Keep thinking of how I can keep those bits flowing and we can consider something else, eh?"

Author's Note

A day in the life of Gael! We learn more about him here, yes?

Join the special community of folks who like my stories and/or get your own here at atreon!

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7 - A Mare

I woke up with an urge. I wasn't sure... what the urge was, really... But... Oh...

I put it together with a bright blush. It wasn't some mysterious thing. I was, to put it simply, horny. As a guy, which I had been, that happened, sure. You watch some porn, beat things out, ta da, you're past it. Pretty simple, really...

Mares were not guys. I had no joystick to grab onto and play a quick game. How... How did it work for ladies? I looked around the darkness of morning, rolling up to my hooves with a twitching tail. I had nothing to watch. I had no clue how my anatomy worked. I was just stuck being turned on.

On the other hand, or hoof, I did... have someone of the other sex. He was right there, in his nest. He had all the parts I needed. I had confirmed that! We could... do what comes naturally...

I looked to the clock that wasn't there, then the window. Dark, but not night dark. It was becoming morning. "Wake up," I called, wings flapping behind me. "Gael, wake up."

"You alright?" He was squinting at me from above. "You sound broken." I hadn't meant to, but I had asked him with a very deep bedroom voice. "And you're looking at me odd." Oh, bedroom eyes included at no extra fee. "What's up?"

I blushed even harder than I already was, but didn't look away from him. "A mare, um, has... certain needs..." I had been a guy, a dude, and there I was, a lady pony, tail lashing about, propositioning some birdcat.

"Go outside," he advised. "Not too close."

"Not that!" I squealed, stomping down a hoof. "I don't need to get something out... I'm pretty sure I need something to go in. There's a difference."

He blinked so cluelessly. I hated in that moment that I thought he was cute when he did it. "You want breakfast?"

"Gael, this is why you called me." I swear. "You are clueless when it comes to people!" Was I an expert? I don't think I had been, but I had the basics down, darn it! Which is more than Gael could claim. "Come down here!" I insisted in that needy way that kept my blush alive.

He, thankfully, hopped/glided down, though he was looking at me like I was being strange. "You alright? Shoot, do I need to get a doctor? I just got you."

"You have everything I want except a clue!" I groaned, pawing at the ground, but there, it was right there, in front of me. There was one thing a guy just couldn't miss...

He reached for my head, ruffling around my ears. That felt nice, but that wasn't the part of me that wanted attention. I went in. My nose bumped against his dangling bits. I knew what those were, what they felt like... I had those... God, did that make me gay? No! No... I was a mare, a lady... Um, so it made me pretty hetero... for a mare. Maybe not cis, and yet, perfectly hetero!

Gael's grip on my ears tightened. "Hey, watch it! Those are valuable."

Dummy! Of course they were... I nuzzled that fuzzy dangling set of orbs, slowly brushing it with my own fuzzy snout, breathing in its air as my tail whipped and raised a little. "Very valuable..."

He shoved against my shoulders, but I moved in, sliding against his talons to engulf him, licking and slobbering over his prized jewels. God, there was something about it, a scent, a taste? Whatever it was, I felt like I wanted more, so much more...

"You're not that kinda pet!" Still, his shoves had stopped. Was he worried I'd hurt him? I hoped not! I was his. I wouldn't do that! Then, it hit him. "I order you to stop!"

So I did... I didn't want to... but I belonged to him, so I drew back and sat down with a whimper, watching him.

"Great... what's going on with you? I did not ask for that!" he threw a hand angrily aside as he said it. "Explain."

"It's not obvious?" How clueless could a guy be?! "I... need you, want you." I turned a bit, coiling to present my rump towards him, to do things... Now... I had done things with those lady parts. Jessica had showed me that, worked with properly, lady parts could feel really good! "Take your dick and put it in there. Please?" God, somehow, in that moment, I felt sure the 'real' pony I was made a copy of would never say that. But I wasn't her. I was me...

That made it crystal clear. I had put all the cards I had out on the table. There was no more ambiguity in what I wanted. "You're in heat," he breathed out. "I never... thought that was a real thing. Just an excuse for hens to get all... up on their cocks. Ponies do it too?!" Oops, I had broken his worldview, which was not leading to what I had hoped for.

I stomped hoof to hoof. "Don't you want to do it?" He didn't have any other lady friends that I could see. Guys had needs too! Shoot, the way it was usually written, guys always had needs. If I had fingers, maybe I coulda tried some of the things Jessica had showed me, but all I had were big hooves, which were not built for the task.

"You're a pony," he pointed out as if that was the obvious answer. "I am a griffon."

"So put your griffon part in my pony part," I concluded. We were both thinking, talking, creatures. Did our specific species actually matter? Besides, it was Equestria, I bet...

Suddenly I wasn't as horny. I had thought about the next step, that I'd make kids, foals, chicks? Something not a pony and not a griffon. A little both? Technically, myth wise, a hippogriff! But that was a different thing in that world, oops. That's when I remembered the myth of how hippogriffs came to be. A horny mare in heat met with a hungry griffon, and his hunger for flesh was overridden by... other hungers... and they did what came natural.

Ta da... hippogriff made! Love triumphed!

That griffon had not been Gael.

"You alright?" He looked relieved that I hadn't tried to go after him again.

"Yeah... I don't need a doctor." A doctor could not cure what was wrong with me. We already tried that! "Sorry..." I reached up to rub at my cheek with a flat hoof. "I wasn't trying to scare you. I was..." Horny? "Sorry... If you don't want to, I'm not gonna..." I almost raped the guy. As much as he had taken from me, being a stallion with fingers, turning it around to that wasn't right. "Sorry..."

"Glad you're calm again." His hand came down on my head, rubbing through my mane and along my ears. That felt nice, though he was terribly unlikely to move past that, and part of me wasn't sure if we should. "Breakfast and wash time?"

"Breakfast and wash time," I agreed, rising up and trotting towards the kitchen. I got to cooking, my mood squashed quite effectively. I slid over his plate at the end of a wing and trotted past him, not watching him eat.

I didn't hear him devouring his food. "How does that even work?"

"How does what work?" I turned back towards him. He wasn't eating.

"So... I never did that before..." He scratched his talons across the back of his head, looking sheepish. "Not with a hen, and definitely not with a pony... This ain't what I bought you for!"

Oh, he was... a virgin. Was I a virgin? Well, if one counted what Jessica had done, definitely not! I couldn't remember much... before that. At least relating to that... stuff? I didn't have a girlfriend, I guessed? And, pow, I was a girlfriend, at least, I could be.

Life was strange. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"You surprised me," he countered. "Not scared."

"You had my teeth near something very precious and you didn't know what to do. You were scared."

Oh, how he glared at me.

"Any guy would be... I was trying... to... make a..."

"You were a hen cornering her cock," he finished for me. "And you almost did it."

I was at least 70% sure that hens did not have to do that! "Am I ugly?"

He blinked softly. "What?"

"Am I ugly?" I tilted my head at him. "I mean, I'm not even your, uh, species. So am I ugly?" Maybe all ponies were ugly in griffon eyes. No wonder he was hesitant.

"No!" He threw up his hands before standing up, his breakfast still untouched. "It ain't like that. You're a perfectly fine pony, as ponies go."

"So all ponies are ugly?" I ventured with an awkward smile.

"That is not what I said!" With a loud click, he suddenly leashed me. "C'mon, gonna go take a bath." And we were outside. I was being led on the line. He had to know I wasn't trying to run, so why the leash? I didn't argue it though, walking along behind him with the leash drooped between us.

We arrived at the river and he attached the leash to a tree! I peered at him as he walked way. I was not a dog... Also, he didn't actually tell me to stay there, just tied me up and assumed the rest. But I was not a dog! I waited for him to get to washing, then I grabbed the rope between my hooves and... Did i mention hooves suck for that? Still, applying some teeth and tugging, I got the rope free.

I didn't undo the leash. Somehow, that felt like a step too far. He had put it there, on me... so it was up to him to take it off. I was his, even if I was rebelling a little... Besides, he needed help! I splashed right into the water with a silly grin, closing in on him like a big awkward shark.

"Stay on your side," he ordered without seeing me. Did he think I was some random other griffon?

I wasn't, and I grabbed him from behind. "I will help you clean up. Nothing more, promise." He tensed in my grip, but he could have thrown off my hooves without too much effort. He hadn't. "I thought you were tied up."

"I thought I promised to help keep you clean." And the scrubbing began, working my hooves over his form to help get rid of the dirt. "And you never ate! You're going to be so hungry at work."

"I'll grab something around lunch," he promised, but he was letting me wash him and he was relaxing. Was he enjoying it? Good! I used hooves and wings in concert to help brush the dirt away, carried along by the swift current. "Look, uh, Ditzy?"

"Yes?"

"You're mine."

"I know that." I nuzzled into his neck. "And?"

"And I don't do that with things that belong to me... Then that hen would be right! I did not buy you just to... do things like that with, alright?"

"You mean Gelly?" I worked at his ribs diligently. "She's scared for me, I think. She doesn't want me being hurt."

"Good! I mean... neither do I?" He slipped away and turned towards me. "Which means none of that."

"You weren't asking me." I sank down into the water, just my head poking free of the cold stream. "I was asking you... a bit forcefully... Sorry about that."

"Is that a pony thing?" He was climbing free to shake off the water. "It's creepy."

"That was a..." Was it a pony thing? I really had no idea... "Sorry... I didn't mean to hurt you either. You own me, but I care about you, stupid griffon."

"Why?" He rose up, mostly dry. "I haven't given you a lot of reasons to 'care' about me."

"I still do, so there." I stuck my tongue out at him, then started a slow pony walk/swim to the shore. "By the way, another little thing about that... past me... that you say wasn't there. I'm pretty sure I was a guy."

Gael blinked so slowly. "Are you... uh... a guy that likes guys?"

"Gay?"

"All ponies are gay." He rolled his eyes. "Happiest creatures I know."

That was not what I meant... "Anyway... I am a mare." It was hard to argue with the mirror. "And I don't know how to... handle things."

"Handle what things?" Oh, he looked so clueless. "Anyway, you don't want me to be late for work, right?"

He had a point. Off we went, to work! He had listened, I promised. He shouted at less people that had no need for his services and made sure to save it for anyone looking out of place. He found another pony. "Hey! Need a helping hand?"

"Heya Muffins!" He waved at me, oops. "Whatcha doing all the way over here in the griffon lands?"

Now they were both looking towards me, one eagerly happy for an answer, the other I was in the way of. Shoot... "Hey, just rediscovering myself, ya know?" That was true, right? "This is my friend, Gael." I waved to Gael. "He gives good tours of the town, where all the important stuff is."

"Oh, I thought he was just trying to take my bits." Well, some of that too. "But if you say he's legit." He looked back to Gael with a big innocent pony smile. "I'll take it. I'm passing through and need to know where to eat, sleep, and stuff. If you know any good touristy spots to take a picture, bonus!"

"Great!" He clapped his hands together, his scowl transformed like magic into a happy smile. "Twenty bits and we'll get going."

"Wow, you must be the best guide around." Despite his mild complaint, the bits were fished out. My fellow pony was paying the exorbitant fee. Part of me wanted to warn him, but I was Gael's, so... making him get less money would not be very good of me, right?

I waved instead. "Treat them right, Gael. They deserve the best!" That was the best I could do! I thought... Um... Don't be mad at me...

"Don't you worry a feather. I'm gonna knock their socks off." Not that the pony wore socks. "Right this way."

Of course, I followed them. I trailed back, trying to not be immediately visible. "Gael watching?"

I hopped. Oh, it was Gelly. "Heya!"

"Hey yourself." She ruffled my mane lightly. "I heard you... shouting a few funny things this morning. Did he do something I should hurt him for?"

Oh no, she heard that! "He didn't do anything wrong!"

"You sure sounded like he did something wrong." She squatted down in front of me. "So spill it. Girl to girl."

I drew a soft hiss of a breath. "It was me... I was... hot to trot." There was a term that made more sense as a pony. "And he was right there, and..."

She raised a brow at that. "Hold up there. You wanted to go outside? Does he lock you in?"

"No!" Ugh, alright, so saying, lost. "I was all..." I sat down on my haunches, struggling to phrase it all in a way that didn't make me a huge perv, which I guessed I kinda was at that moment. "I woke up and I... wanted the company of a guy, a guy specifically, to do guy things with me, a girl." There, that was about as blunt and yet clinical as I could think of.

She whistled in a way only a bird could fully master. "So he did get you for that!"

"No!" I stomped down my right hand, er, hoof. "I wanted it... He said no. He was a perfect gentle... pony..." Gentlegriff? "I just looked like a real stupid person, and I still feel kinda dumb."

"That's because you were kinda dumb," she remorselessly noted. "Seriously, Gael? Even a pony could do better."

"That's mean!" I fluffed up in defense. "He's a nice guy, even if he still needs work."

"Hey, not here to pick on your boy." Oh, that smirk on her face. "You have the hots for him, huh?"

"No!" Well maybe a little. "It's... alright, can I ask you something?"

"We're already past that, girl." She ruffled my mane gently. "What's on your little horsey mind?"

Well, alright... "So, this is kinda a personal question..." I rolled a hoof in the air. "What should... a lady... who feels that way... do, that isn't... crowding up on a guy until he does guy things or you're made to feel like a total jerk."

"First, you owe Gael something, an apology at least."

Oh, how I deflated.

"Don't look like I kicked you. You were rude to him, just the same way I thought he was gonna lay in on you. You owe him. Anyway, what? If I'm... that... way..." She glanced around a little and back to Ditzy. "Are you seriously asking that? Ponies know how to... entertain themselves, don't they?"

I raised my hooves towards her. "Nopony taught me how to use these for that." Seriously, not a soul taught me how to use them for anything, but I was teaching myself. The idea of pressing them, uh, down there? Sounded like a good way to get hurt.

"You are absolutely kidding me..." But I didn't look like I was joking. "What am I, your mother?"

"I can't even imagine asking my mom about this." Or my dad about it as a guy.

"Alright, alright... So you're... asking a friend." She crooked a little smile. "I can respect that, little pony." She rubbed the top of my head. Was my mane that pettable?! "Look, whatever. People are gonna talk if they hear us talking about... this kinda thing, so come on." She waved me along and go to walking.

So I didn't see how Gael did with that pony. On the other hoof, I had a chance to learn girl things from Gelly, and that sounded like a good thing, and important too, so I scurried right after her.

She led me to a little gulch, a trench in the ground big enough to be not visible from inside. "This is my favorite corner to talk where ain't not a person bother to come by." She sat on a rock and gestured in front of herself. "And now you're part of the elite few that know about it."

I parked right in front of her. "Aw, thanks. I won't come here unless it's with you."

"Glad you understand how this works." She reached out, tapping my nose gently. "Now, seriously... You don't know how... to do anything... down there?"

"No..." I admitted like an embarrassed little kid, which is what I felt like! "I know what everything is." Mostly... I was assuming little ponies were built like human females. "I know how it's... supposed to work with a stallion and a mare get together." I tapped my hooves together in an awkward little clop. "It's just... what to do... alone..."

"You seriously have no idea?" But I wasn't budging. "Wow... Alright, sorry. I'm being a real jerk." She smirked a bit. "But you're hanging with two griffons, you shoulda learned that's our default mode, unless you're Gabby, and only Gabby can do Gabby. So... half of it is the situation." She leaned back, resting against the rock side. "You're alone, think about how you want to not be alone. Picture who you'd want to be with, and what they'd say, and what they'd do... The goal is to touch yourself, um, just like you're imagining. It's not... about sex, half of it... The best times I had never even got to that..."

My eyes were big, sparkling even. She was giving advice, good advice! I thought? I wasn't entirely sure, but I could tell she was being serious. "Uh huh... But..." I raised a hoof at her.

"Pony, you're a pony... Why is that a mystery?" She pointed at the hoof I held up. "You were born with it. You should know how to use it."

I wasn't born with that! Ugh... "I'm going to guess you never... talked with a pony for how they... do that... but... what about a griffon that's been, uh, hurt?" Yes, they'd be in the same situation, right?

"That's depressing to think about." She clucked her tongue against her beak. "Alright, time to move on to advanced studies, I think. Toys."

I blinked.

"What? You're an adult. You know there are toys to help with this, right?"

"Like..." I pawed at the air. "A vibrator?"

"Exactly!" She clapped her hands together. "Thank you. I thought I'd have to explain what it was for a second there. There are all kinds of toys... You can hold them in your teeth, or your wings. Your wings look pretty agile to me, hm?"

I spread those wings wide. "They're nice." I liked my wings! Part of me wanted to ask her for flying lessons, but one lesson at a time! "Alright, so, toys..." What a strange name, really. Toys were for kids. This was very not for kids. "How do I get one?"

"The same way you get most other things?" she proposed. "You buy them. Ask that 'owner' of yours for some bits. If he cares, he'll give them over." She rolled her eyes mightily. "Just tell him its for 'mare health'. Doubt he has any idea what that would even mean, so he'll cough it up to keep you happy." She smirked softly. "You know he kinda likes you, right?"

My cheeks lit up. "Then why did he push me away?!"

"Because he was surprised?" She started counting on fingers. "Because it wasn't how he imagined it going. Because he was super guilty after I called him out? Take your pick... If you want that sorry griffon, try again less... heavy... I bet if you came on gently, he'd be putty in your, uh, hooves."

I felt weird that part of me was really excited about that idea. He was... a guy, and my kidnapper! This brought whole new meaning to Stockholm syndrome. "I'll ask... gently, and... take it slower."

"Thatta girl." She rubbed the top of my head. "I can see why he smiles around you. You damn ponies, those smiles are addictive." She laughed at that. "One thing though, spare me the details of how it goes. Unless you hurt yourself or something, I don't need a retelling of your first time, eh?"

Oh the blush in my cheeks. "I'm really happy you... explained it to me... I know I must seem super dumb right now..."

"Not as dumb as somegriff that goes off and guesses and messes up." Gelly smirked at the mental image of it. "Just take it slow and easy. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong." She paused suddenly. "Come to think of it, that goes for the actual thing too. If he makes you hurt, he's doing it wrong, and you're free to slug him across the face."

The very idea of hitting Gael, of striking him. It was like I had been wired to find that... It was like suggesting, you know, just in case, if you wanted to put your hand in a blender. Who would do that?! "I'd never... But alright, no hurting... Thank you, again... I know you didn't owe me anything."

"But now you do."

Uh oh... "What can I pay you back with?"

"I've smelled what you're cooking." Oh, she was grinning. "Make enough eggs for me too tomorrow and we'll call it even."

Author's Note

Gelly is a good griff, I vote. This chapter was awkward for all participants!

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8 - Mare Health

"I made some extra yummy breakfast." I presented the plate with tasteful garnishes and the most winning smile I could manage.

Gael inclined his head, at me, at the eggs. "Uh... feeling better today?" He grabbed his fork and tried some without any further delay. "Not bad."

Not bad?! Huff... Well, that was Gael. "Sorry to bother you, but..."

"Not interested."

"Not that!" I began to go warm in the cheeks. "I need some bits..."

"What for?" He raised a brow, but he hadn't flatly denied me, so... win?

"Some mare health, uh, things." Oh boy did I smile, I hoped charmingly.

He went right back to eating eggs, not even looking at me for a bit. At least he was eating, hirrah?

With the fork set down lightly, he pushed to stand up. "Time to wash up."

That wasn't an answer! Still, I followed after him. Soon he was in the cold water of the stream, and I was there at the shore, watching him. "What, ya not gonna clean me today?"

I blinked at that. "You want me to?"

"I thought that was one of your things." He shrugged in the rolling waters. "I got used to it."

I slipped right into the waves and pony-paddled my way to his side, grabbing him up with a smile. "Reporting for duty." I got right to cleaning him off and maybe hugging him while I was there. If I was a human lady, I would have been mashing bouncy parts against him, but as a pony, I had no such parts. Didn't mean I didn't enjoy giving hugs. Ponies gave good hugs, and it felt nice on the giving side.

He was soon clean, but I didn't quite give up right away. He was a perfectly fine thing to run my hooves over, but he was also shaking? I drew him closer and worked all the harder, just to realize it wasn't shaking, really. He was... purring. Aw!

"All done." He drew away, the purring birdcat removed from me. "You seem pretty healthy to me."

Oh! We had gone back to the other topic, uh... "And I... am right now, but it won't... stay that way." I swam to the shore, shedding water in a great set of shakes. "I won't get anything extra, promise."

"If I see you come home with a candy bar..." He stalked off with a frown. "Come on." He led the way back to our house, where he had me wait outside. "One moment." In he went, coming out with his talons wrapped around several coins and shoving it against me. "There. Bring back the change."

I accepted the coins with a smile. I had never held so many shiny coins! "Thank you! I won't get anything extra," I repeated. "Just the health stuff."

"Just the health stuff." He rolled his eyes as he stormed towards work. "Go ahead if you can, or come on."

I... actually wasn't sure. I tucked the coins away. Did I mention I had a pocket? Ponies do have pockets! It was like being a marsupial, but it wasn't for young, just random things we wanted close at hoof. It was also nice and dry and furry on the inside and out. "I'll be back!" I scampered away, but only far enough to watch him leave.

When I scampered back for the door, a griffon dropped down by it. Gelly! "I have the payment."

She snickered at that. "You're making this sound super shady."

Well, it was, a little... I rushed around her into the house and came out with the leftover eggs on a plate. "Ta daaa!"

She snatched the plate and got right to eating without delay. "Mmm, just as good as I smelled, even better. Did you go all out today? I can taste it, hmm... So did he give enough?"

I had no idea! I fished out the coins to show her. "Where do I go?"

Her eyes darted in minute motions, counting? "Yeah, that's enough to start." She fell to all fours, leaving the plate just inside the doorway. "I'll show you."

I pulled the door closed, grabbing the knob in my mouth and making sure it was properly shut. "Alright, thanks!" Gosh, we were going to an adult griffon store? That was quite the thought, and I warmed, musing about what it'd look like.

I followed her through the griffon town, looking around as if some big obvious sign would note which place I should be looking at, but... maybe they didn't want to be that obvious? How were griffons compared to say... human people? "Is it alright that I'm a pony and this is probably a griffon place?"

"You have the same bits." She rolled her eyes without turning back. "Less fingers, but same down there. What makes us both fair ladies." She smirked as she said it, clearly not seeing herself as a fair lady. "Pretty sure what works for us will work for you." She suddenly did look to me over her shoulder. "Unless you think we're built like birds back there? We ain't! I swear, no idea where that idea came out..."

So... I peeked. I was a bit behind her already, and her agitatedly swishy tail was quite poor for privacy concerns if one was looking for it specifically. Yep, she had all the parts I had come to expect from a female. Two innies, one of them having a smaller innie hidden within, I knew from personal experience. She didn't look exactly how I looked, but she was a birdcat, and I was a horse, but we were both recognizably female.

Good that some things worked the way you expected them to. "You really never talked with your parents? You know, The Talk?" Crap, she had seen me peeking. "You said you know what a boy and a girl does, but you're so clueless." Her eyes rolled. "I can't figure you out, pony."

"Ditzy," I offered as a proper name. "Thank you, for putting up with me." I laughed awkwardly, noticing we were coming up on a plain looking store. Was that it? I didn't... see anything lewd in sight. "Is this it?"

"What were you expecting?" She grabbed the door and had it open with a little jingle of a bell up above. "Hey, you in here you old buzzard?"

An older female voice replied, "If it ain't a Gelly bean. You got, uh, something stuck to you."

"Ha Ha." Gelly gestured back to me. "This is a friend of mine, and a customer of yours, so treat her right."

Oops, there I was, in the spotlight. "Hello." I waved at the large, well, she literally was a vulture, at least for the bird half of her. The feline part was like a leopard? "I'm Ditzy."

"I didn't think ponies were in for this stuff," admitted the new person. "Name's Gabrielle." G name, griffon confirmed! "Welcome to my shop." She gestured in broad motions with a wave of an arm and talons. "Where every lady is treated like a queen, because she takes it into her own hands." Gelly snorted. "What? Oh, you don't have those." Her eyes were on my hooves.

I rose them up closer. "Yeah, sorry. These are all I got." I felt... ashamed. If I just had fingers, it would have been so easy! "What can you do for me?"

"Where every lady is treated like a queen," repeated Gabrielle with meaning. "And I won't be proven wrong just because a pony came in. Now, you came to me with bits?"

"She has 'em," cut in Gelly. "And I'm gonna bounce. Much as I'm vaugely curious, watching a pony friend get her toys ain't for me." She turned with a swish of her tail. "Good luck, and you better treat her right! She tells me you ripped her off, I'll be back." Gelly stormed off, slamming the door behind her.

I rubbed behind my head a little. "Sorry." Gelly was being awful protective of me. It was... kinda nice, in a way. "So... assume I don't know a thing. Everything back there is a mystery." I glanced over my shoulder. "What do you suggest?"

"Well, the first thing I'd say is to stop being scared of yourself." She hopped down from her perch to land in front of me. "You're a queen, all of you, even those parts... Especially those parts. Every bratty boy came out of one of those, so if one of them gives you noise, you remember that and shove them back in their place." She sneered at the thought of it. "Now, stand up." I reared up quickly.

She reached out, supporting me as my body wanted to fall right back forward again. "Spead 'em." She helped get my legs to shuffle out in either direction. Now, with Gelly, I had snuck a... somewhat discrete peek.

Gabrielle was examining me like a doctor. She reached without fear or hesitation, splitting me right open to look into my depths. Oh god, I blushed up quite the storm. "Mmm... different, but mostly the same." That is when my nerves sang out with joy and shock and I jumped in place awkwardly. She had just touched me, much as Jessica had. "That's what I was hoping to see. What about..." She touched some new part and I squeaked. It was powerful enough to be almost painful, almost. "Perfect... Different arrangement, but all the parts are what I'd expect. I can help you."

She let me fall back to all fours, but started leading me around in a circle so I could see myself. "These are your lips. The other lips." She smirked on her beak, the lips of griffons. "They are sensitive, and the first thing I was brushing like that. All of them, inside and out," she instructed. "Treat them like a lover, gently, warmly. They are queens and deserve the best care, but where they may be queens, this... is the empress." She pointed at my vagina.

"The whole thing?" I asked quizzically. I was no expert of female anatomy, but... "You mean inside, right?"

She casually reached out and split me open without so much as a moment to ask. I squeaked, but she got right back to pointing. "Here, near the bottom. That is the center of your journey."

I had found my clitoris. It was such an unassuming little thing. "Huh..."

"Don't 'huh' at me." She let me close up. "This is important. Now, since you have all the same parts, most of what I have will work just fine for you. Now I have a question I feel sure you won't know the answer to." I stared at her. "How big are ponies, boy ponies, down here? On average, I mean." I... didn't know that. "I had a feeling you didn't know. Well, we'll just start with things that don't care."

She prowled across the showroom floor in the feline fashion she half was. "Some of the best toys are small, sleek, and subtle. She reached into a small box and drew out something small enough it was hidden in her hand as she walked back to me, upright. "Now, let's see how you feel with this." She shoved her hand against my lips, the ones on my face, and forced something into my mouth. I squawked, which gave her space to get something between my teeth. "There you are."

I reared back, something held there. I saw a mirror laying there and rushed over to it. Hanging from my teeth, a bright red little wand. Wait... "Is this a vibrator?"

"One of my best," assured Gabriele. "Powered by magic." Her eyes fell. "Got it from the ponies, come to think." The thought hit her. "Suppose it shouldn't have been as surprising they might use what they sell."

One of the best... Wait. "How expensive is it?"

"Can you put a price on the care of a queen?" so replied Gabrielle with a big smile. "Don't be intimidated, just show the bits."

Right, the bits. I fished them out and made a pile of them on the floor ahead of me, counting as quickly as I could.

"That is uncanny."

I looked up at her. "What?"

"Your eyes, it's like you switch back and forth as you count." She shook her head. "It has nothing to do with this."

I was Ditzy, and she had funny wall eyes that did that sort of thing... It all came as part of the package. "I can't help that." I vaguely remember them hurting before? I could but be glad that had passed. I didn't have any aches or pains, just confusion. "Is this enough?"

"That's a sucker's question." She snatched them up as if her hand were a vaccuum, the coins vanishing as she began counting them more meticulously. "You're lucky Gelly's taken a shine to you. I don't want her screeching at me forever." She huffed with indignant misery. "Did you save up for this?" She put some of the coins back down. "Change. It's yours."

My wings shot out with joy. "Really?!" I clenched my teeth around my new toy, er, femenine health product. "Thanks!" I felt with my tongue and could work it out pretty easily. It had a very obvious twisty part, and working it, I was suddenly holding a shaking stick. "It works!"

"Of course it works." She wrenched it out of my mouth, ow. "Give me a second." She went into a back and came out with it, with a big ole string dangling down the other end. "Just in case you get it lost in something, in the front or the back, you got something to get it free with."

That was an embarrassing idea, and one I hoped to never need the rope for... Still, I wasn't a unicorn... It... could happen... "Thanks." I took it back from her and tucked it away in my pocket. Thankfully it was nice and small and slender, so it fit right in there. "Um... So..."

"Use it as if you had one long finger," she advised dryly. "Turn it on and let it work into you as you go gently. Do not rush the queen, and certainly not the empress. Come gently, think of lovely things and places you'd like to be, and allow it to happen at its own pace." She inclined her head. "Give it a try and it will come easily."

"But..."

"This is a personal journey." She clasped her hands together. "No other woman can tell you how to embark on it. I have given you all you need to get started."

Well, I knew how to use it, and the basic idea... "What about special friends?" Jessica would have showed me, I felt certain.

"That's between you and them," more curtly snapped Gabrielle. "And we aren't that. Now... you look like the kind of queen that would enjoy some... extra activities."

I went so very red, mind awhir with what she could mean by that. "Thank you!" I gathered up my coins and stuffed them away as quickly as I could. "I'll, uh, be back if I have questions."

Bursting out onto the street, I scrambled away off to Gael's stand to focus on his salesgriffonship instead of anything tucked away in my pocket.

"Having a bubble butt like that and not using it... Chicks these days." She didn't chase me, thankfully.

There was Gael, at his booth. No customer was there with him. A bad day? I hurried over to the side of the stand. "How's it going?" I got out just as I reared up, my hooves going on the counter.

"So far so good." He nudged me right back off the counter. "One s--customer."

Oh, good! He hadn't spent the whole day waiting. "That's great! Say, how many do you need?"

"All of them?"

My eyes rolled in response. "Silly, not what you want, what you need." I stomped from one hoof to the next. "What's your basic goal?"

"One a day?" He leaned over the counter to look down at me. "That's enough to keep things going."

So we'd hit the goal? "Great! Oh, but some customers you get more from than others... maybe it'd be better if we stuck to what they gave." I reared up, worrying my hooves together. "How many bits?"

"Can that a second." He reached out to tap the end of my nose. "Did you get your health stuff?"

I tried my best to fight the blush I could feel coming on. "Yes, and I got the change and nothing else." I dug into my pocket and soon had the coins on the counter for him. "Thanks for not asking lots of questions." It was a private thing!

"You dropped your lighter." He inclined his head at something that had tumbled out with my hurried grab for the coins.

There was the vibrator, laying there, for all to see. So, I squeaked and dove for it. I covered it like a grenade about to explode and I was saving everygriffon in the area! But all I was saving them from was my own shame. I worked it back into the pocket and sat up, heaving for breathe for that terrifying moment. "Sorry."

"Your favorite?" He shrugged, not putting it together what it really was. "Anyway, my budget kinda assumes I make at least five bits a day on average." I must have looked surprised. "What? I told you, knowing how to have a budget is why I can afford a nice thing when I want it." He huffed, looking about at those passing by. "We're at 13 for today."

We were doing good! "That means every day I've been here we're over the goal, great!" I pumped a hoof in celebration.

"Don't get too excited." A little smirk spread on his face. "You being here has thrown off the numbers a bit. Your treats and, uh, health things... Say, is that health thing something that comes up over and over, or a one time... thing?"

It would, in theory, provide repeated use! Er, not what he asked... "One time. I... didn't mess it up, did I?" The idea of being a terrible possession somehow rubbed me the wrong way. I was there to make things better!

"Nah. Now go." He waved off. "Won't get any customers while you're sitting there unless another pony that knows you happens along. That was pretty nice though... Still, the odds aren't with us there."

He wasn't wrong, the way I saw it. "I'll be watching." I gave a big flap of my wings and soon I was perched above him and behind where I could watch him and those coming and going around him.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, a griffon came up towards the booth, her talons pinching the ear of a younger griffon. "You give tours, right?" she demanded.

"Sure do." He smiled at the hen. "Uh... we've met, right?"

"Seen your face," she allowed, not admitting to any further. With a shove, she sent the younger griffon forward. "This is my cousin. Little piss is staying a few days, and I'm busy, so show him around so he knows how to get to the important stuff. No tourist shit, alright?"

Gael nodded, glancing down at the nestling. "You got it. By the time we're done, he'll be an old hand at our fair town." He held up some fingers, not enough from what I could see. "Fifteen."

"I said no tourism," her chest fluffed up. "Just the important stuff. Ten."

"I'm keeping your kid safe and entertained and out of your feathers," countered Gael with a smirk. "Thirteen."

She whistled softly, glancing over her shoulder. "I don't have time for this." With a great slap, she put down coins on the counter. "Be back in a few hours." And off she went as if she had a dozen other places to be.

I landed with a thump. I might have used my chest as my landing gear, but I was getting better, promise! Practice was the answer. It always was, right? The nestling blinked at me with a big gasp. "Wow, a pony!"

Gael smirked, an idea clearly hatching behind his eyes. "My pony, and if you ask her really nice, she might let you ride her."

"Really?!" He hurried up to me, looking me over from the left and right in great tilts of his body. "Hello pony! I'm Gerome!" G name! "Can I ride you? Um, please?"

Aw, I wasn't going to turn down a little kid. Besides, griffons were extra cute when they were young. I turned to present my side and sank down. "Hop on." He didn't hop, scrambling up onto me, his talons digging in a bit against me. Fortunately, pony fur and hide were both tough enough for the task. Annoying, but not injuring.

Gael pulled up the counter and slipped out to join us. "Let's get this train moving." He swatted me on the rump. "Onwards, valiant steed."

Huff! Well, if I was anyone's steed, I was technically his? Even if there was a kid on top of me. By the way, he wasn't heavy. I barely felt his weight. His motions were more obvious as he twisted to look here and there and enjoy being higher in the world. "You alright up there?"

He leaned so far forward he was looking at me upside down. "This is great! Mom said ponies don't like giving rides." And yet, there he was, on me... "Shows what she knows!" He righted himself with a little boyish giggle. "Where are we going?"

"Your mom said to show you the important stuff, so, first step, the market." He pointed ahead as he half-swaggered in that direction. "This is where you can get all kinds of things, if you have the bits."

So, I got to be part of the tour all personal like. On the positive, I learned where things were from the ground. I had only seen glimpses from above, trailing after Gael. "Say, Gerome?"

"Yeah?" He leaned to the side, looking down at me.

"Was that your mom, who dropped you off?"

"Pfft, no," he scoffed. "Just my big annoying cousin. I don't think she likes me much." Well, that was the default for a lot of griffons, but...

"She must care a little, or you wouldn't be here, riding a pony," I argued.

"Yeah..." He didn't sound entirely convinced. "Hey, mister!"

"What's up?" Gael turned to face his little customer. "Next stop is the well. Everygriff needs to know where that is or you're going to be really thirsty."

"That's nice." It didn't sound like he saw it that way. "I'm hungry."

"We're still in the market." He waved a hand over several stands selling various bits of foodstuffs. "Take your pick, if you have the bits."

"Well, I don't." He glared in the direction his cousin had gone. "She didn't give me none and I'm just a kid!"

Aw, a kid wouldn't have a job, and thus no money, barring a guardian intervening. I felt bad for Gerome. There had to be something... "Gael."

"What!" He was maybe getting annoyed people kept calling him. "What is it?"

"Sorry, just... maybe one bit? You did a really good job with haggling, I was super proud!"

He didn't look at me, instead at Gerome. "Don't tell her, but I took your cousin for a ride."

Gerome burst into new giggles. "She couldn't wait to get rid of me."

"Well, her loss is our gain... Let's have a little snack." He guided him, and me, said steed, onwards to fetch a little lunch. It was odd that the kid was so happy about his cousin being ripped off, but it did result in a decent meal and a pony ride around town, so... win for him?

Author's Note

Mare health needs, met! Ditzy is not rushing to talk about that with Gael, I don't imagine.

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9 - Get What You Paid For

We had a routine. I helped him prepare for the day, coached him as we walked to the stall, and I kept throwing tips and tricks whenever I saw him acting funny. Griffons just didn't have natural customer service genes, I tell ya! But he listened. Bless his birdcatbutt, he listened, and things improved.

"You look off." We were walking to work, and he was looking aside at me. "Something... wrong?"

"Why would you--" I didn't get to finish. He crooked a talon just under my eye and brought it away, wet with tears. "--Oh..."

"Yeah, oh." He inclined his head faintly. "If ya don't wanna talk, fine."

That would have been the griffon answer, but I was a pony, not a griffon! "No... It's just..." I accelerated to keep up with him. "I was thinking about the past, is all. The past you keep saying isn't even there."

"The past won't help you, or me." He shook his head. "I'd rather think about the future."

I raised a big pony ear at that. "Yeah..." The future looked brighter than thinking about my tattered past. "Say, speaking of that. I'm yours."

"Sure are."

"But not as a pet." I poked him in the side. "I've been thinking about it."

"Yeah?" He didn't seem worried I'd take off, still walking along, no leash on me.

"Well, what other time is a lady owned by a guy that she likes who likes her a lot?" I thumped against him, forcing him to stagger. "I think we're a couple."

"Are you in heat again?" he so rudely asked. "We don't have time--"

"--No!" I blurted with red cheeks. "This isn't about that. I mean, maybe later. Couples do that, if they want..." I laughed nervously, resuming our walk. "I mean romantically, as close friends. Hay, I wash you. That's... kind of a thing."

He didn't look convinced entirely, so I went for the kill. "There's really only two options." He raised a brow at me. "I'm either your slave, or a very special someone. Which is it?"

Gael went a little red in the cheeks. Perhaps being a literal slave owner was a step too far, even for a griffon. "It ain't like that," he weakly defended.

"There's not a lot of room for what else it can be." I moved in closer, pressing my side to his. "You can keep owning me, but... what if I owned you too?"

He went quiet a moment as we drew close to the stall. "Time to get to work," he broke the silence with, moving to get inside. "Go on." He pointed to my favorite perch. "You look for how I'm doin'."

"With pleasure." I spread my wings and soon flapped up into position to watch him.

"Did he hurt you?" The branch beneath me shook as somegriffon else landed on it. Gelly had joined me. "I swear, I'm ready to slap someone good, so just say the word."

"I'm fine," I assured, smiling at my other griffon friend. She did not own me, nor I her. "Thanks, by the way. I haven't seen you to say that, for helping."

Gelly huffed as she sank onto her perch. "I refuse to accept a 'thanks' for leading anycreature to that kinda store. Still, uh, glad it worked out." She was looking me over without turning fully. "So, what's bothering you?"

"Is it that obvious?!" Griffons were usually pretty dense about the feelings of others, and two had called me out.

"Yeah, kinda... Was it Gael?" She looked like she was kinda hoping it was Gael.

"Not really... Look, this is complicated..." I rubbed behind my head a little. "Did Gael tell you where he got me from?"

"No." A short answer, blunt and to the point. "You gonna?"

"Well, seeing as we're friends." Sure, she rolled her eyes at my statement, but she hadn't argued either. "It's going to sound a bit out there."

"You are a pony I... Look, we're past that, so get on with it." She rolled a hand exasperatedly. "You're a changeling, aren't you?"

"What? No!" I crossed my arms in an X and shook my head quickly. "All pony." Mostly... "But I used to not be... I..."

"No shit, you're a oncer?" she cut me off without remorse. "Get out of here."

"Once-r?" I replied more slowly. "What's that?"

"Oncer, one of the things they call people that came from, uh..." She danced her fingers in the air, trying to express it. "Aliens! Literal aliens. Ha, wow, that... actually makes a lot of things make more sense."

"That's a thing?!" I wasn't the only one? I... well... that actually made sense, thinking about it. I had been silly to assume I was the only one ever. "Alright, so... yeah, hello. I'm Ditzy, a oncer."

"Awesome." She nodded, looking confident as if she'd been the one to discover this thing. "No wonder you didn't have not a damn clue how your own... everything works."

Wait... There was someone else who had been being dragged along, who would also become a oncer... "How do I find other oncers?"

"Uh..." She lifted her shoulders. "Ain't got a clue." She leaned forward, her talons gripping into the wood below her. "Hey, Gael!"

"I'm busy!" came the counter shouted reply.

"You're busy waiting," she huffed with a smirk. "Your pony's a oncer."

"A whatter?" He looked back up at us. "Are you giving her crazy ideas?"

"Dummy." She was still smiling, not looking all that upset with him. "She's looking for a friend."

"I told her I'd think about it!" He turned away with a big ole blush.

"Not that," I squeaked out, joining the blush. "A different friend of mine, they're probably a oncer too, and I'd really like to be sure they're alright." I imagined her, as a pony. What sort of pony did she become? She could be a mare, or a stallion, or a foal even! Hay... maybe not even a pony. "I don't know what she looks like."

"Got a name?" grumpily asked Gael as he made a show of straightening things at his stall, as if anything had really gotten out of place.

Gelly was looking at me eagerly for a reply. "Um... Well, where we came from, she was Jessica. She may not go by that anymore." I still couldn't remember my original name! I had one, I was pretty sure of that! "Jessica."

"Jessica, or something else," mused Gelly. "That's not a lot to go with."

"It really ain't," agreed Gael, not facing us far below. "What do you want me to do about it?"

I tried to lean forward like Gelly did. Alas, hooves were way less good at digging onto branches for a good grip. Soon I was a heap beside the stand, stars spinning around my head. "Oops."

A hand came down on my head, gently mussing my mane before putting things right. Gael helped me stand up with an amused expression. "See you next fall?"

"Probably," I agreed with a silly grin of my own. "I don't know what went wrong, but thanks for being there."

"So, all happy now?"

"No." I stood up tall. "There's something we need to get straight."

His brow went up really high. "This I gotta hear."

"Admit you were wrong." I pointed at hoof at him. "You kept saying I didn't exist before Fetlock, but I did! I really did..."

Gelly was hanging off her branch, clinging nicely with her talons that were better than my hooves for that. "Fetwho?"

"She's the pony I paid," grunted out Gael. "She said... Whatever... I still don't know what a oncer is." He threw up his hands in a great big shrug. "Gelly, you seem to have that scoop. Lay it on me?"

Gelly dropped, much as I had, except she landed gracefully, entirely unlike me. "Oncer, Once... something. They were something else, something alien." She walked her fingers together as she talked. "Then they came here, and now they ain't that." She gestured at me grandly. "Behold, a pony, on the outside. On the inside, alien."

"An alien that had a life," I argued, turning my hoof back on myself. "That she pulled me out of. Now, uh, you... pretty obviously had no idea, so I'm not even mad at you." I was not even sure I could be entirely angry at Gael. I was his. "But admit you were wrong."

Gael drummed his fingers on his counter. "You want me to say I paid to have some alien kidnapped for me?"

Gelly smirked so viciously. "If the shoe fits..."

"Can it!" He hurled a little souvenir at her, not that it had a hope of hitting the laughing griffon. "Look, fine, whatever. What do you want me to do about it? She had a pretty big 'no refunds' policy, so I ain't taking ya back. I paid a lot of good bits."

"I don't want you to." Both griffons looked at me. "What? I mean, I didn't pick this." I waved a hoof to encompass all around me as I could. "But I'm alright with it. Gael needs my help."

Gelly wrapped an arm around Gael's neck, drawing him in with a whooping laugh. "She is too damn pure for this world. You pulled her from who-knows-where, and she wants to stay, for your own good."

Gael shoved her away. "I think that's at least partly a pony thing." He frowned at me. "So, we cool?"

"We cool." I grinned broadly, victory mine! He had admitted the mistake. "Speaking of that, there was someone from back then, who I am pretty sure was following me... and I want to know they're alright. They can't all go to nice people like you." I pointed at him.

Gelly laughed in an uproar. "Nice, Gael, not the combination I'd usually use!"

"Well, too bad. You're both really nice." For griffons. They were both trying so hard! "I'm glad I'm friends with you both."

Gelly suddenly stormed at me, shoving me at my shoulders. "Hey, cut that out!" Before I could ask any questions, she grabbed me in a hug. "Stupid pony, stop spreading your sugary feelings everywhere, dummy." That hug didn't feel like she was all that upset about it.

Gael chuckled softly as if amused at Gelly's problem. "So, alright. What do you want from me again?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She turned so fast, her tail brushed my snout. "We go to this Fetwhatever and we shake her around until she tells us where our friend's friend is." She clapped her hands together, clenching her talons to prove she meant it. "That ain't a refund, so she can't use that line."

"She's not here." He hiked his thumb. "Back in the pony lands, one of the big cities?" His smirk grew seeing her confusion. "Bet you couldn't even tell one from the other."

She swatted him on the shoulder. "Good thing you're going! She's your pony."

"And you're not?" he huffed out, crossing his arms.

"'Course I am." She rolled her eyes. "Someone has to keep an eye on her, and you." She backpedaled towards me, nudging with an elbow. "Besides, I want to shake this doctor up. She sounds really shakable."

I clopped my hooves with building joy. "Thanks! You two are great!" They were going to help. We'd rescue Jessica from her fate, um, whatever that was... "I'll make up for the money this takes." I was looking at Gael as I said that. "We'll make a bunch of bits when we get back."

"Get back?" He plinked me right on the nose. "I gotta get things set up. We ain't going today, so prove you're being honest, get up there, and help me make those bits."

"Yes, sir!" I saluted with a wing and got to flapping back up to my perch.

"Don't be mean," I could hear Gelly berating. "Ditzy's too dumb to notice when you're picking on her, but I ain't." Aw, that hurt a little, but she was trying to protect me. Half... win?

"She heard that." He turned away from Gelly. "Anyway, I see somegriff headed this way, so buzz off unless you plan to pay for your own trip."

That argument apparently worked, as Gelly retreated for the sake of a free trip to Equestria. And lo we got back to work, with me playing coach for Gael, even if I kept thinking of that odd lady that had swept into my old life and brought some amount of light and joy when I remembered being really down just then. I really hoped she was alright.

So I did my job! And I did it with a smile, I'll have you know. It was about a week before I woke up to being nudged with a foot. "Mmm?"

"Get up. The train leaves in a few minutes." He walked right past me, collecting a few things on the way. "I'll get Gelly. Don't worry about breakfast, we can get it on the way."

We were going?! I rolled up to my hooves and bounced up to all fours. "Thank you!" I jumped to pounce-hug him, but he stepped out of the way, letting me land on the ground instead. "Aw."

"Don't 'aw' me, get your stuff ready and get outside." And out he went himself. "Gelly!" he shouted out there. "Get down here."

We were gathered outside in short order, walking along. "So, um, did you have to save for this, is that why it took a week?"

"You kidding?" Gael shook his head slowly as he fished out three tickets. "This ain't a big town. We get trains by once in a rare while. This is as fast as it gets, alright?"

One of those tickets vanished, snatched by Gelly from the side. "Yoink. Thanks!" She flapped into the air, twirling to face us, flying backwards. "I never held a train ticket before. Kinda neat..."

"You're only here because she wants you." Gael inclined his head towards me. "Prove you're worth the bits."

"Don't be mean," I chided. "Gelly is your friend too."

"You heard her." Gelly landed opposite of me on the other side of Gael. "We're all buddies around here, and we got a doctor to ask a few things about..."

Things quieted as we ascended onto the platform. All the tickets were held by the person that'd use them. "We don't give them to anyone?"

Gael looked like I just said something really stupid. "You give it to the conductor, on the train." He hiked a thumb at the rail line. "Nogriff else cares about your ticket."

"I care," argued Gelly. "Hey, look." She took my ticket like that. "They have numbers. Mine is one larger than yours, huh."

That made sense... "They musta printed yours just after mine," I reasoned.

"What, larger ones are later? I thought I was first." Oh, she pouted.

Gael just looked amused. "For a pony that don't know how to use tickets, you sure know other stuff."

"Even, uh, the place I came from had that." And a lot more, I vaguely remembered. There were a lot of things I could sort of remember. Some of it I had liked a lot! Maybe it was a mercy that I didn't know what I was missing. "Are we on time?"

"Yes." He sat there on his haunches. "Look, there it is." He pointed and I saw nothing at first.

Until I squinted a little, there, in the distance, movement... Yep, a train, headed towards us on the track. Soon it pulled up, smoking and chugging to a stop. With a sharp whistle, doors opened up and conductors stepped off. Ponies!

One of those conductors noticed me. "Muffin! Are you off making a delivery?"

Oh! Right. "Wrong pony. I'm Ditzy." I pointed at myself. "And we're headed to Manehatten." I thrust my head forward, the ticket going along for the ride. "Here you go."

He leaned in and brought in a hole punch, kchunking the ticket. "There ya are. You look just like her, huh... Have a nice trip!" He tipped his hat.

We were all on the train, the rumble beneath us revealing that it had begun moving, but Gael wasn't sitting despite that, forcing against the momentum. "It's morning, didn't eat. I'm sure their eggs are garbage compared to yours, but let's give it a try."

I followed after with a big smile, and something nudged me. Looking over, I saw Gelly walking along with me. "You noticed huh?"

"Yep." He had complimented my eggs. Victory! That reminded me. "I can't go grazing today." Hard to do that on a train.

"Grazing?" came Gael's question. "Oh, forget that. Today you're eating with us." And he led us to the dining car. We had hay burgers!

Gelly seemed amused at the whole thing. "Check this out... A hay burger... Huh." She chomped right into it, ketchup splattering her beak. "Mmm, not entirely awful." As it turned out, hay burgers rated as 'alright' to griffon sensibilities.

On the other hoof, I thought they were super tasty! We all liked the fried taters about as much though, so a good time was had by all.

After lunch, Gael sat across from me, watching me. "This must feel odd."

"What did?" I looked to him, then Gelly. "It's kinda nice having my friends here, together, instead of always apart. I like that."

Gael snorted, pinkening just faintly. "Not that. I mean... we're going to talk to the pony that did that to you. Aren't you angry? Are you going to punch her?"

"Right in the face," cried Gelly. "I want to see that. Show me a pony can throw a punch when they're angry enough."

"I'm not going to punch her." I... didn't even know her. Sure, she had yanked me out of my old life, but I still didn't know her. Punching someone I didn't even know felt off. Maybe it was the pony in me, or maybe it was my old personality? I was helpless to compare the two, but I felt sure I didn't want to punch that stranger. "I just wanna know if Jessica's alright. We have to find her."

But then I remembered, I had met her, sorta. She was that voice, calling, tempting, taunting... She had made the call to draw Jessica along. She hadn't cared how I felt about the whole thing even as I felt miserable.

She was not a nice pony. Maybe I could hit her...

It still felt wrong. "Shouldn't we call the cops or something?"

Gael rolled his eyes dramatically. "I doubt we'd be the first to try. If we want answers, we go by ourselves and get them."

Gelly nodded, a hand at her beak. "That makes sense..."

"Gael." He looked at me. "Can I talk to you a sec?" I inclined my head away and led him into the next car. "I think I noticed something."

"Yeah?" He shrugged softly. "Will it get me more bits?"

"Probably not, but it's still kinda important..." I shuffled from hoof to hoof. "It's about Gelly."

Suddenly he looked interested. "You spot some awful secret? Do tell."

"Not like that," I huffed out. "I think she likes you. I mean, she likes you, obviously, but I think she might be open to like liking you."

"Like... like," he repeated slowly as if tasting the words. "You mean... Like that?"

"Yes like that!" Not that he had given much hint as to what 'like' we were talking about, but I guessed. "She's nice, and she's been really great, for both of us."

"Are you matchmaking me?" He raised a brow at me. "I'm being set up on a date by a pony..."

"I'm just getting your bits' worth," I assured, raising my snout and closing my eyes in what I hoped was a confident way. "I'm really sure on this. She's showing all the griffon signs."

"Griffon... signs." He snorted softly, raising a hand to his beak. "This I gotta hear. What is a 'griffon sign'?"

"Well, for one." So I tapped my hooves together, which is a thing. How did ponies go to two! Curse my lack of fingers! "She's interested in you but isn't trying to rip you off."

"Huh... And for two?" He was eyeing me, but seemed patient enough to hear the next.

"She smiles when you're around." I tapped those two hooves together again. "She--"

He closed his talons on my lips, closing them. "Alright, so, problem."

"Mmf?"

"You just said you want to be my hen, which is still pretty weird to me, and here you are, pointing me at another griffon. That ain't normal." He looked past me to where Gelly was enjoying herself without us. "Kinda not good for yourself there."

He leaned against the wall behind him. "I mean, whatever, pony, griffon... I ain't that close minded, but I am not taking two. That'd thrash my budget, considering neither of you actually make bits as a habit." I started giving him quite the look. "What? It's just logical."

"If that is what I was suggesting, which it was not, we'd figure it out. Not like I can't work." Both sides of me had experience working! It was our thing! "You'd just need to show me where to look for work." I didn't know where the wantad postings were in that world, sue me! "So don't call me lazy."

"I didn't call you lazy." He poked me on the nose, booping me with his sharp talon. "If you want to get a job, great, but you have one right now." He hiked a thumb at himself. "Makin' me get more bits!"

"Then don't say I don't have a job!" I huffed, wings shooting out.

"You two are so married." Oh no, when did Gelly join us. She was snickering, watching our lover's spat fizzle out in her presence. "Don't stop on my account, it's getting good."

I looked down and away. "Anyway... um... nevermind..."

"Probably a good idea." Gael pushed away from both of us, heading back for the sitting car instead of the dining one.

I sighed softly, and a hand landed on my head. Gelly was mussing my mane lightly. "Stupid pony, but the density of a pony cannot be matched by a dumb griffon, lemme tell ya."

I awkwardly rubbed one hoof to the other. "So... I wasn't wrong then?"

"No, but you going behind my back like that? Kinda messed up." She smirked faintly. "Good thing you make it pretty obvious you're doing it out of deranged pony love. How do you ponies even survive? It's a mystery to me."

"Now you're being mean." I smiled a little. "Which is pretty normal for griffons. So, not mad?"

"Nah." She gave one last pat. "This is why I laughed so hard when I heard you came onto him like that. Trust me, I've dropped all kinds of hints on his thick head, he isn't going to get it. Honest? Kinda super jealous he's considering you. Means you did better than me. At least he knows you're interested, damn mare."

Oh... Oh no! I was getting in the way of Gelly's happiness... But I was Gael's. That was not debatable. It was non-negotiable. It was a fact of life that I had to live with. But how did I do that, but also be good to Gelly, who had been so nice to me and deserved to be happy too? "You were here first," I squeaked. "I don't want to seal from you."

"You ponies are too damn nice for words." She shook her head faintly. "You're not stealing if he still doesn't know I'm even a thing. Now, if he looked at me, I'm going for it." She crooked her talons. "I will grab him and not even feel bad, and it sounds like you're giving permission, so I got nothing to feel bad about."

Author's Note

What should Ditzy do?! Is Jessica alright? Will Fetlock get what's coming her way?!

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10 - Comeuppance

We stepped off the train onto the busy terminal of Manehatten. There were ponies, lots of them, all trying to get places. The griffons with me kept close to me. They were relying on their pony friend to navigate the pony tides. It was kinda nice, being 'in charge' in a little way. I did my best to guide them away from that press, to the slightly lesser crush of the streets.

"Which way?" I didn't know that, looking to Gael.

He pointed the way and took the lead, my time of directing was over, aw. The density of ponies began to lower as we emerged from city center towards more run down buildings and big empty warehouses alongside sprawling tenements. We were in a bad part of town. I could tell!

"You came here to get me?" I hadn't seen Gael and Fetlock. Hay, never met Fetlock outside of a voice.

"Yep, why?" He threw up his hands. "Not like there were a ton of choices to buy what I was buyin'."

Gelly smirked at that, walking along with us. "So you're not going to even start with how odd it is you came here to buy a creature in the first place?"

Gael huffed with indignance. "It ain't like that! She said she could make a creature, not... yank one out of who knows where. A creature on demand that does exactly what you needed sounded pretty sweet."

Gelly thumped against him from the side. "You are a moron."

"Zip your beak!" He thumped her back with equal intensity, the two looking like they were ready to fight it out on the sidewalk.

I hurried up between them, even if it meant I got crashed into from both sides. "Please stop! We're not here for me. Let's find out if Jessica's alright."

Gael threw up a hand, pointing at a little squat shopping strip ahead of us. "That's the place. Assuming she's still there, we can ask a few questions."

It wasn't much. Where it all began, and I hadn't even seen it! It wasn't fair... I strode right up to it, scooting when I hit the pavement. The speeding carts in the city were not the sort to slow down if someone got all up in the wrong part of the street.

Gelly grabbed me by the shoulder. When I looked, I saw she had another hand on Gael. "Morons, let me go first."

Gael hiked a brow at that. "Why?"

"Duh, she don't know me." Gelly laughed a little. "So they won't run seeing me. Let me go in, make sure she's there, and come in when I give a signal."

I couldn't argue that logic... "What signal?"

"Question tail." She moved forward without explaining what that was, soon vanishing into the store that had no signs that even said what it was.

"It's this," explained Gael without being asked, gesturing with a toss of his head back at his tail, which had formed a perfect question mark curve. "You don't usually make that without trying, so, eh, not a bad signal."

Now, I wasn't inside. Gelly told me about it later, which I then told you, lucky devil.

So Gelly walked in, and there was another griffon there! She was kinda surprised, she admitted. She was expecting ponies for days. "Hey."

"Hello." She glanced up from her typewriter, which she was still clacking away at. "You got an appointment?"

"I wanted to get one of those." Gelly smiled her best smile. "Is the doctor in?"

"There's a process," grunted the tough looking griffon hen. "Here." She grabbed a paper from her desk and slid it forward so fast she could keep right on typing without a delay. "Fill that out."

Gelly snatched the paper off the desk and turned around, sitting on the edge of it as she read over it. What did she want the pony for. Describe the pony's personality. Is this a famous pony, if so please provide a name and a photo. It was quite a long questionnaire of all kinds of questions. "So what's the price?"

"How much do you have?" She glanced up at Gelly. "You'd be better off picking an existing pony to copy. They're cheaper."

"Huh..." Gelly turned to face the secretary griffon. "What if I wanted a copy of you? You seem like a useful griffon to me."

"Nuh-uh." She shook her head. "That's against policy. No copies of employees, that includes the doctor."

"Oh, right." Gelly snapped two fingers smartly. "Then someone else could make copies."

"You're getting it." She paused typing a moment. "So what do you want? You didn't come in here to talk shop."

"I didn't catch your name." Gelly started scribbling on the paper, mostly nonsense to look busy.

"I didn't say it. Gudrun." I wasn't there, but I was pleased later to see that the g names continued!

"Say, you guys have, like, a payment plan?" Gelly scribbled her nothings as she worked.

"No. Upfront or no sale." Gudrun frowned softly. "If you don't got bits, stop wasting our time."

"I got plenty, just checking." She folded the paper in half. "A friend of mine got a pony, grey, bubbles on her butt? Pegasus. I really like her. I want one too."

"Oh, why didn't you say so." She flipped through a few things. "We have the notes on that one. You want one exactly the same?"

"Not a difference." Gelly folded her arms. "When do I get it?"

"The doctor will see you when she's ready. Payment will be due when you have the consultation." She pointed at the paper. "Did you put your contact info?"

"I will now..." She flipped the paper open and looked for it. "Uh... phone number?"

Gudrun sighed. "If you're just visiting, stay at the motel over there." She pointed at one down the road a little. "We can find you if you're doing that."

"Got it, I'll do that." Gelly tucked the paper away. "Thanks."

"Eh." She went back to typing.

And so Gelly returned to us, having never given the question tail. I wagged my tail with a grin. "Is she there?!"

"Maybe." Gelly pointed to the motel. "We won't know for sure until they call us for a meeting. That's when I pay up and we talk to the doctor."

Gael started towards the motel. "That doesn't look free. How much do I have to pay for you, Ditzy?"

I sagged a bit at that. "Sorry."

Gelly thumped against him, a habit they had. "Stop picking on her! She's trying to do the right thing."

"The expensive thing," he muttered. "Whatever, we're already here." And so we checked in. We didn't have a lot to do, in that motel room, but I could see the front of Fetlock's store, watching ponies come and go. A lot of them looked... well, ponies didn't really hide what they were half the time. Half of them looked like gangsters.

I jumped when a hand came down on my left shoulder. "Why do you keep watching?" It was Gael. "They ain't going anywhere, for now."

"I just kinda wanted to see what sorts of ponies went there." I pointed to the window. "Not good ponies, most of 'em."

"Huh." He leaned in over my shoulder. "Just means we should not be in sight when th--"

He didn't get to finish, a knocking at the door. Instead he nudged me along hurriedly into a closet to hide with me.

I could hear Gelly open the door with a sour word, in typical griffon fashion. "What is it?"

"She has an opening," came a lower female voice. "If you're ready?"

"Let's go." We heard a door close.

The closet door opened and we spilled out of it. Gael was climbing off of me, back up to his feet. "We gotta follow her. Now's our chance!"

He wasn't wrong! I bounced to my hooves and we were hurrying after Gelly, confident that the doctor was in.

Inside the store, a secretary sat, arguing with Gelly. We couldn't hear them yet, but their expressions were pretty clear.

Gael pushed the door open without a pause. "Hey."

"Mister Gael," Gudrun was fixed on him. "Your friend is trying to get what you got, without paying. What would you think, if we let somegriff else get what you got, for free?"

"I'd be pissed off," he easily agreed. "Gelly, cut it out."

I strolled in after him with a smug look. "I'm sorry not every griff can afford a pony as good as me." I was faking, I promise!

Gelly huffed, crossing her arms. "Stop being so greedy!"

"Forget her." Gael went up to the desk. "I got a question." He pointed back at me. "She says someone else came, what, after her, with her, whatever. There were two ponies made on accident, but I didn't get the other one? That ain't right! Ya shoulda at least told me and gave me the chance to buy 'em both, at a discount of course."

Gudrun looked past Gael to me. "I'm glad you're pleased with your purchase. The doctor gives exactly what is ordered. Any differences in delivery are at the doctor's discretion, provided the order was fulfilled, which it was." She was reciting as if it was the law of the land, written for all to see. "That pony was paid for already, Mister Gael."

"Before I got there? I doubt that." He walked to fingers along the desk.

"After, not that it matters." She inclined her head. "It's already sold."

Gael sighed in a long suffering way. "I want to see this pony."

"We have confidentiality concerns," warned Gudrun. "You wouldn't want us telling other creatures about you, would you?"

"Gudrun." A voice, a familiar one! The voice! It was coming from an intercom on her desk. "Give them her address."

"But... As you want." She shrugged softly. "That pony was purchased free."

As she reached for some new paper, Gael looked all the more suspicious. "You just told me you don't do 'free'."

"Not free in cost." She slapped down a new set of papers. "Free as in living arrangement. They wanted this pony to replace another, a dead case probably. So they're not 'owned', like your pony. They may not even know they're a replacement. Don't remind them."

"I'm his." I nudged up against Gael's side, an affectionate rub instead of the harsh thumps the two griffons had been giving.

"You sure are," agreed Gudrun without much emotion. "Here's her address."

She was a she, that's a step! Gael looked over the paper a long moment before standing up. "Alright, thanks."

We were about to leave, not shaking the doctor at all. But we knew were Jessica was. That was... most of the point, right?

Gelly growled meaningfully at Gudrun, but left with us. "I hate that hen," she grunted as we crossed the street. "Why'd we even wait for the doctor if we didn't go in to see her?!"

"To start, I couldn't afford another pony," reasoned Gael. "To continue, I'm not trying to shove past that secretary. I got some serious bad vibes off of her. I felt like she could snap me in half if I forced it." He shrugged softly. "So we couldn't pay our ways in, or force our way in, so... we didn't get in, and that's that."

Gael was a practical griffon. I kinda hated it at that moment, but I wasn't willing to try to fight somegriff to get at the doctor, and I wasn't even sure what I'd do with her. "So we know where Jessica is?"

"Yeah, but that ain't her name." We were back at the motel, gathering our stuff to take with us. "She's Berryshine now."

Berryshine? What pony was that? The name wasn't familiar to me... A background pony? The concept of a background pony came back to me. I was one of those! Well, that wasn't so bad, so far I could tell. Maybe she was doing alright. She wasn't even owned by anypony. A good step...

But she wasn't in Manehattan. Gael only muttered a little as we got a new ticket, to Ponyville! I was excited and bouncing a bit the whole way. Ponyville, the Ponyville, in the flesh, er, wood. All the ponies I knew, or most of them, in one place.

Including me. I sagged a bit at that thought. "Oh no."

Gelly poked me in the side. "What's wrong?"

"I just remembered I'm in Ponyville, the other me. Muffins, not Ditzy." I clopped my hooves to my cheeks, eyes swirling. "Will she be mad when she sees another of herself?"

Gelly poked me right on my widdly pony snout. "If she's half as nice as you are, I bet she'd give you a hug long before she got mad at you."

I smiled at that, hoping the original wasn't mad at her doppelganger. "I'm not trying to replace her, I promise. I don't even work with mail."

Gelly raised a brow. "You're kidding. Is it the mail? Does doing mail make creatures like that. Gabby, and you. That's a pattern!"

"We're almost there," noted Gael. "If you two aren't having too much fun."

"Ready!" I chimed, and led the way off the train, into Ponyville! It was everything I imagined, and more. Those cute picturesque houses, so many ponies, all smiling.

"Comin' in!" came a voice before I was crashed into, sent sprawling under another pony. "Sorry," they quickly offered, sitting up on me and inclining her head down at me. "Huh?"

I was looking up at Derpy, Muffins? The Muffin pony! She had found me, basically instantly. "Wow."

"Wow," echoed Muffins. "Hello there." She offered a hoof towards me as she slid off of me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm alright." I bobbed my head as I clopped hoof to hoof, rising upright. "I'm Ditzy." I curled a hoof at myself. "And I'm a big fan!"

"I have fans?!" She clopped her hooves to her cheeks much like I had before, her eyes swirling. "That's cool." Suddenly she narrowed her eyes at me. "Wait, are you a hu-person?"

Gasp... Wait... "You know about them?"

"They're the only ones that make a big deal about me." She said, waving the idea off. "I'm just a clumsy pegasus doing her best, nothing special, but humans think that's really a big thing." She inclined her head the other way. "This is the first time I met one that looked just like me before."

"Long story," I lamely deflected. "I'm still really happy to meet you. I'm not here to replace you, promise!"

Muffins blinked softly. "That's good." She leaned in, touching nose to nose. "You seem like a nice pony."

Aw, I was Muffins approved! "My friends are waiting for me... Permission to come say hi later?"

"Sure!" she assured in an enthusiastic tone. "I get off work at six." She pointed. "My house is over there." Ponies were so trusting, giving me that with barely knowing me. "See you then!" And she took off, back to her duties.

I rejoined my griffon friends. "That went better than I was worried about."

Gelly smirked victoriously. "She jumped right at you for sudden hugs. I think I won that bet."

"That wasn't a hug exactly..." Still... "She was nice though. I wanna talk to her after we check on Jessica!"

"Berryshine," reminded Gael. "Hey." He thrust out a hand, blocking a pink pony from pronking past. "You know where Berryshine lives?"

"Berryshine." Pinkie tilted her head left and right before it clicked. "Oh! Berry Punch! She barely uses that other name. She's usually over there." She pointed the way towards what appeared to be a bar. "Huh, gotta tell Muffins she has a copy problem."

"She already knows!" I squeaked. "We met, and we're cool."

"Phew!" Pinkie wiped the sweat she didn't have off her forehead. "Thank goodness! I had a big copy problem for a while, really messed things up. You be a good copy!" She pointed at me accusingly.

"I will, honest!"

Pinkie was already looking at the two griffons. "So are you two nice griffons or not? 'Cause if you are, I owe you both a big party!"

Gael allowed a smile to slowly escape. "I like a good party. You paying?"

"I don't make visitors to Ponyville pay for their own parties. Gosh, that'd be rude. I'm on the case!" She saluted, then resumed her pronk with a loud giggle, looking forward to the party, clearly.

Gael shrugged lightly. "At least we get some free food while we're here. That's something. Why did she point at a bar?"

Was Berry Punch's fan canon accepted? "Berry!" I called out, a mare turning towards me. It was her! She looked a little tipsy. Had she been drinking?

"Hey, Derpster." She offered a hoof towards me, wobbling a bit. "C'mere. Comin' for some drinks?"

"I came for you, actually..." I scuttled in closer, unsure what I was facing. "Jessica?"

Her expression shifted, the drunken haze drawing back a little. "How do you know that?"

"It's me... remember?"

She frowned, tapping her chin. "Yeah... yeah! You were that pony! Oh wow, you finished too..." She grabbed me up, pulling me closer. "Look at you! Look at me! I'm your size. I liked you better when you were lap-sized, gotta say."

I giggled at that, feeling awkward. "Yeah... Are you alright? I was so worried about you."

"She was crying," noted Gael 'helpfully'. "We came to find you."

"That's sweet." Berry pushed me back a little, looking me over. "You have some friends." Her eyes moved to Gael and Gabby. "Hey, thanks for taking care of my pony."

"She's my pony," noted Gael firmly. "She's teachin' me how to make bits."

"Poor thing." She patted me on the head. "Got all the way from there just to be stuck working the grind? They told me to just... be, and here I am, Berryshining it up! Ponyville's a great place!" She grabbed a mug, hooking it with a hoof and arm. "Wanna sip?"

"Nah..." Still, she was whole, and seemingly happy? "You don't miss your old self?"

"Why should I?" she questioned. "I was stuck in a job I hated, in a society I barely tolerated. Now I'm a magical colorful pony that has a job of social drinking. I can think of worse things." She raised her mug in a toast to nothing, then took a few gulps. "Ah. Good stuff. I even got a sister in the package and she's a little adorable thing!"

I clopped my hooves together. "That's really nice. I'm glad you're fitting in then. I was worried you were being bossed around by some mean jerkface."

Berry leaned in and pointed to a quiet pony nursing a drink across the way. "That's the pony that paid. When the original... passed... he was really lonely for a drinking partner, thought a part of the town was missing... So he paid for a new one. Ta da." She gestured over herself. "Thanks again, Toasty!"

The pony with perfect toast points on his rump raised his glass towards Berry with a glad smile. They both got what they wanted. No hard feelings involved.

"Huh..." After all that, it was me that was in the harder situation. "Huh..."

"Don't look like that. Hay, sorry." She put both hooves on her chest. "You really needed some help, and I was kinda terrible at it."

"No!" I thunked her between her hooves with one of mine. "Stop that! You were... a bright spot in what felt like a really dark night. You were everything I kinda needed right then." I started rubbing my cheek with the flat of a hoof. "You even helped me figure out how girl parts worked and I really had no idea."

Berry burst into musical laughter. "Glad I could help, even if that part is a little fuzzy... like us!" She wrapped an arm around me, holding me close. "So, do you live nearby? Are we neighbors?"

"Probably." Gael crashed down onto a seat near us.

Wait, what? "What?"

"What?" echoed Gelly. "Aren't we headed back?"

"I'm out of bits," he admitted, shrugging expansively. "We either hike it, and that's a long hike, or we're stuck."

He had to know he was spending his last bits on the new trip... but he took it anyway... "You didn't have to!"

"Yes I did." He thumped me on the shoulder. Why were we so violent that day?! "You've been trying your best to do right by me."

"But your bits..." I knew how important his bits were to him. It was the whole reason he had gotten me in the first place. It was the whole reason my life had been upended. "Why?"

"You wanted something. You wanted it real bad." He picked at the side of his beak with a sharp talon. "You've been working really hard, for me, with me... not asking for all that much... This was one thing you wanted... I could see how much it meant to you."

Gelly sat on her haunches. "That is adorable, but you stranded me here too, chico."

Gael swallowed nervously, as if he hadn't really thought of that. "Oh yeah... Sorry."

I hugged the two of them suddenly, mashing them together. "I'm so sorry! I'll make it up, to both of you!"

Gael smiled awkwardly from the prison that was my hug. "Ditzy is good for it. Look... Gelly, if you can trust me, I'll get us back to comfy, promise."

Berry raised her mug of drink. "You can all crash at my place while you get your hooves under you."

Gael nodded towards Berry. "See, it'll work out. I trust Ditzy to guide us right."

I beamed at that. "We'll make so many bits you can swim in it."

Gael chuckled at that. "We may have to revise the plan a little." He held two fingers up close together. "I don't know this town like I did back home... But we'll figure it out. I feel that."

Gelly rolled her eyes. "You chicknapped this hen, now you gotta take responsibility." She poked him in the side, but it turned into a tickling, the two falling over, his laughter bellowing out under her relentless attack.

I had a feeling she was alright with how it worked out. I reached and bonked Gael on the head suddenly.

"What?" He glared up at me. "What is it now?"

"I am yours," I repeated solemnly.

"Yeah?"

"Your friend." I smiled brightly. "A good friend, that cares about you a ton."

He sat up, sliding Gelly partly off. "Oh... You... You alright with that?"

"I may bathe you less." I stuck out my tongue. "But besides that, let's be really good friends." I offered a hoof to him, and another to Gelly. "That goes for you too."

Gelly grabbed up my hoof in both of her hands, squeezing. "You are an adorable muffin of pony purity! I might die of sugar overdose."

And yet, she was not running away from the pony town. I had snagged her with kindness, and gained a friend that I felt confident I would keep for quite some time. "Now that that's settled...." I slid my hoof on the outside of the two griffons and pulled them closer. "Now kiss."

They both shot me such a glare. Such. A. Glare...

Completely worth it. They'd work it out. We'd work it out. It was a new life, but I never felt more confident that we were going to cut out a path for ourselves and enjoy the time spent doing it. I had made a new family in that world, and I was a proud member of it. I am Ditzy, the oncer, citizen of Equestria. I used to be a human, but I'm still me, and I happen to like me.

I hope you do too.

Author's Note

Fin!

1 - A Bargain Struck

A bag of cloth landed on the desk with a rough clatter of jingling metal, its stop allowed to fall open, several coins spilling into view. "Like you asked."

"You're serious then." The bag glowed dimly, swept off the table, coins included. "I will begin then. Understand, there are steps you must take." She puffed up, blowing her mane out of her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I can handle it. Just get me what I want. You take this many bits, I better get what I'm asking for."

I didn't know about that. The only gold coin I'd ever touched was in a video game, which I wasn't playing. I was on my bike, pedalling as quickly I could. I was running late, and it was all my own fault. I could have left earlier, but those kids, those stupid kids. I wanted to keep an eye on them. My replacement had arrived, I could have checked out. I probably should have.

Too late to worry about that. I had another job to be at! It wasn't entirely my fault, my two bosses putting my shifts so close together and leaving basically no room between. "Do you wish to be wanted?"

He started. He wasn't wearing a set of headphones, so sudden whispers of ladies in his ear was not what he was expecting. "A steady job, one you take pride in, have mastery in."

That sounded kinda-- He should have been watching where he was going. In that moment of distraction, the wheel of my bike hit the edge of the road, popped up, and I was airborne for just that one sweet moment before it ran right into a pole. The bike stopped, I didn't, at least for another foot, coming down in a dizzy heap.

My vision was swimming, my eyes crossed for a moment until I shook it clear. My bike had seen better days, it'd need a new front wheel. Dang it... I picked myself up, brushing off the dirt that clung where I had come to a skidding halt. I could wheel the bike, barely, and began pushing it towards work, which I still had to be at! A crash that didn't break anything was hardly a good excuse to not show up.

Ah, there it was, the store I called home. Sorta. It was my second job, my 'main' job. It paid a bit better than the coffee shop, and I'd worked there for, what, a few more months? Was that enough to play favorites? I had, despite the validity of it. Locking my battered bike on the rack on the sidewalk, I started to jog inside, wobbling mid-step. Oof, maybe that crash had knocked me harder than I thought. I slowed to a fast walk and got myself inside. "Hey, sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" asked my supervisor, arms crossed. "Get changed." He hiked a thumb towards the back.

Right, uniforms. I had to wear a pin and an apron on duty, which I had neither, coming from the other job as I was. I tied the apron in place and grabbed the-- ow! I'd stuck myself on the pin. Shoot, I was really not in the game... I sucked on the injury lightly and tried again, slowly, getting it into position. "Ta da." Congratulations, I put on a pin. Surely, they will sing tales of my amazing deeds.

I came out into the main lobby, heading for the register to punch in for my shift. What was that? I glanced where I could have sworn I saw a tail, a hairy tail, flicking just as it went around the corner, like someone had a guide pony. Which... wasn't technically impossible. "Huh." That'd be kinda cool, actually, if someone had one of those. Always wanted to see one, in the flesh. They were so much rarer than guide dogs.

Getting through the first set of hours wasn't too bad. I didn't feel dizzy, but I knocked over a few boxes as I helped people or checked things out. I got them back up in a hurry, don't worry! But I still... felt a bit out of place. Maybe my bike hadn't been the only thing to get a little banged for the trip. But there was no time to fuss about that.

Even if work let me go home, I wouldn't be paid. I needed those hours! But, at last, lunch break! Now, of course, being evening time, it wasn't lunch, but we still called it that anyway? It's just a thing. And I gladly retreated back into the break room and crashed onto a chair, wobbling a moment, but, ha, no falling over that time!

There, on the table, a box. Not just a box. I could see through its clear plastic. I could smell it in the air. Someone had brought in a tray of baked goods. "Aw, that was nice." That happened sometimes. I was pretty sure it was a lady co-worker of mine, but she never admitted it, and neither did anyone else.

Still, it had become standard rules. If someone leaves an open box on that table, it was open territory to anyone else. If you wanted your stuff not eaten, well, don't leave it there. Simple! Though, it was one of our boxes. It had our store's logo on it and everything. Maybe it came from our bakery? Extras? Faulty in some tiny way that would annoy a picky customer? Whatever, their loss, my gain!

I popped open the box. Cookies, cake bits, a few big muffins. They all smelled so sweet and tasty! This was one reason among many that I hadn't worked off those pounds. That muffin... I picked it up and turned it slowly. It was oversized, as muffins went, and it smelled... mmm, so good. I couldn't quite place the taste though, which was the oddest part.

Still, I wanted it, and I chomped into it. Mmm, it dissolved perfectly across my tongue. Sweet, hints of chocolate and vanilla, perfectly raised. Why would anyone not sell this? Didn't matter, I was eating it. I lost track of time, devouring that baked treat until I glanced at the clock. Shoot! It was time to check back in. I stuffed the last of the muffin away, in my mouth, and hurried to get back to work.

It was only after I punched back in and got to it that I really thought about it. That muffin had been huge! I shouldn't have eaten that, god. It was nothing but sugar! I normally ate slightly better than that. What had I been thinking? Well, nothing. Bah, that was stupid of me, but it was already done. I turned my attention back to not making a mess.

"Checking out." My boss wasn't there, instead I was informing a shift director. I got a noise of approval, and punched-- oops. I put in the wrong numbers. I swiped my card and tried again, darn it. I saw the number I did wrong. One more--there we go! Free!

I got to push my bike home, wobbling all the way. Poor thing. I'd have to wheel it to a bike store, preferably when it wasn't dark out. Ugh, I was so used to riding that my feet were aching by the time I finished walking home, pushing the bike all the while. I stuffed the bike into the garage and went to collapse. Ugh, what a day.

Kicking off my shoes, I grabbed for my socks and yanked them free, some relief quickly rushing. "Ahhh." I lived alone, so there was nobody around to offend with my smelly feet. Speaking of, had I banged them? My toes were a bit tender as I felt over them, and they didn't want to flex much, like I had a bad cramp? Odd.

"He's waiting for you," spoke a female from nowhere.

He who? "What?"

"Such a good mail pony," she continued, but then went quiet, no other words coming from her that evening.

Which was just as well, since I had no idea what she was going on about, or who she was, or why I was hearing her. "I hit my head," I decided, shaking it as I readied for bed. I had things to do the next day!

The next morning, my feet were still sore. What was up with that?! But I didn't have time to stare at feet. I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth and admiring my long hair. Wait... I didn't have long hair. The ends were tinted too, like someone snuck in and gave me blond highlights. My eyes widened with the surprise, revealing another thing off.

My eyes were golden. Not blue, golden. Bright, wide (still in shock) and not the ones I had gone to sleep with. I could hear papers rustling from that nowhere place. "Oh, Muffins," spoke that voice, the same female. "A perfectly fine mail pony."

Wait, what? "Who are you? What's going on?" I turned quickly. It felt like she was just out of sight, as if I could turn fast enough and get a look at who was talking. "What's going on?!"

"Muffins has blond hair, she always did," counseled the voice. "That's nothing to be upset about."

That... made sense. It shouldn't have, but it did. I knew Muffins. Derpy to some, had blond hair. She also had golden eyes. That was perfectly normal for Muffins, yeah.

I did what people often do in the morning, leaking in a way that would be upsetting to most androids. There was an odd thing though. I felt... strange... down there. How do I even put this? It was like I was... smaller. I'm not the kinda guy that measures that sort of thing, but I think I was a bit smaller, and, uh, don't think too badly for me saying this, but it was more sensitive? Like I could feel every tiny touch even as I just tried to do my business.

Look, at that point, things were odd, and I was considering visiting a doctor. But, well, America, health insurance... I could imagine huge numbers and negative values in my bank account. Ugh, I'd have to tough it through. I wasn't dying. I've faced worse! Besides, it was all dumb and stupid and would go away like most other illnesses and injuries I'd ever faced before. I just had to be a man about it.

Besides, my finances were already tweaked. I had to get a bike fixed. I grabbed my things and hurried out the door. Snatching the bike, I hurried to the bike store just as it opened, perfect! Yes, finally something going just right. "Hey, um, had a bit of an accident."

The bike tech whistled softly, eyeing the bent wheel. "That's a bad one. We'll have to replace it."

"Yeah..." I was pretty sure that'd be the case. "How much?" He quoted me a number that made me wince, but it wasn't out of reach, so I gave the go ahead. "Please, thanks." I brushed my hair out of the way, almost entirely that bright golden color. "I'll be back tomorrow to pick it up." No reason to hurry in the middle of things, I argued to myself.

That handled, I began heading towards the first shift of the day. The coffee shop! Come, get your caffeine hit, or just hang around and be annoying, if you were some dumb kids. They as a group, were my nemesis, but also decent customers, so chasing them off was thoroughly off the menu.

That was work, and I was ready! I pulled on my work clothes and... was I getting pudgy? It fit just a little tighter around my chest area, and it felt a bit scratchy on top of that. Look, world, I know I ate a big sugary snack I shouldn't have, but I couldn't have plumped up that much that quickly. I snorted at the idea and headed out to begin the day's work.

I was still woozy. I mean, not that I was staggering around, pretty sure the boss would have canned me for that. No, it was more like everything was magnetically attracted to me, but only long enough to touch, then gravity took back control, and things ended up on the floor. I dropped coins handing them to customers. I brushed against boxes, which then fell. It was just kind of a messy affair all through, but I fought through it, and they hadn't fired me, so yay?

"Hey." It was one of the girls that came in after me. "I'm here, go on." She gently shooed at me. "You look a little out of it." Had she noticed how many things I'd managed to knock over? Rather than arguing with her, I sheepishly retreated, mumbling a little thanks on the way.

I swapped out back into my usual clothes, which were also tight? The heck. It was tight in some places, thinner in others, and this was a shirt I'd worn plenty of times! What the heck was going on? I had some time between shifts that day, at least. I could get something to eat, mmm.

I walked out of the bakery of my own grocery store, chewing a muffin. Why did I just buy muffins? My normal lunch had way more protein, and way less sugar. I was... enjoying some damn fine muffins. They were pretty good. Did we change the recipe, 'cause, man, it was good.

Two ponies walked past outside. I hurried to see them, but they were gone by the time I got there, and nobody was reacting like anything had happened. Some were wondering what I had hurried for, but I had no good reasons to give them, so I just slowed down, headed for the break room, and ate another damned muffin. It was a good thing they were so tasty...

My vision, it kept getting weird. A headache would come first, then things would go a bit fuzzy. Seated around the table with me were several other ponies, talking to each other, but not noticing me at all. Now, look, I've watched MLP before. Good show, I like it! That didn't mean being surrounded by ponies in my breakroom was normal! "The heck?"

I couldn't hear a word they said, just saw their lips flapping as they talked, laughed, and generally... did pony things? Then they were gone. I was alone again. "You're up on the hour, right?" One of my many managers. When I nodded at him, he returned in kind. "Great, get to work in the aisles and get on restocking."

Restocking, one of the less glamorous jobs, but it also had, generally, less customer interaction, and less ways to mess up, really. Just stack the things, make sure the price is set right, repeat. Simple... "On it!" Well, on the hour, at least. I made sure I had my apron on, button in place, which I was careful about not poking the pin into anything important. Ha, there, on and ready.

The crossed vision, the headaches, they got worse, but I pressed on through the shift. Maybe i should have gone to a doctor? Not on my medical. Not in this country. I wasn't dying. I could make it. I would make it. I just had to do my job. I'd be all the mail mare I could be! Wait, what?

I collapsed into my chair, back at home. It was time to do something smart! And by smart I mean browsing the Internet. That was smart, right? I pulled up a picture of Muffins and brought my hair over to compare. Both were bright, but one was a picture, and one was right there, in the real world. They were similar, but not the same. How could they be the same, one being fake and all.

My feet were stinging. I was quite happy to kick my shoes off, get them free to the air, letting the pain ebb away. "Man..." They felt... stiff, cramped... Meanwhile, the rest of my felt... fatter, pudgier. Nothing I looked up really helped with this, but I had her eyes, and her hair color, basically. That was a thing, right?

It had to go away. It just had to. I had work... I didn't have a day off for another few days out, so, to bed... It had to go away. It just had to, alright? Please...

I was soaring in the sky, the wind gusting through my mane in that perfect way it did when you caught the wind just right. The middle of the air was the best place. You couldn't crash up there, there wasn't anything to get in the way. Yeah, nice long trips, going someplace, carrying something to somepony somewhere. I just had to get it to them, and the trip was half the fun.

Then I woke up, sitting up in bed, breathing hard. I could... feel I didn't have wings. Humans did not have wings, nor flew, as a general rule of thumb. What a strange dream...

I staggered to my feet, which I felt awkward on. Was my wooziness getting worse? It felt like I was walking on tiny stilts. When I hit the bathroom, strange clacks sounded with every step. What? I sat on the toilet and swung up a foot into view.

That was not my foot. That wasn't my foot at all! A thick shell of some rigid stuff went over it, coming down, enclosing my toes, which basically didn't move. I didn't have feet! I... didn't... have feet. What were they? I tapped the strange thing against the floor, listening to the clicks. Hoof. I had a hoof. A hard-ridged hoof. No toes, just a hoof. I was a human with a hoof and that was so not alright.

A tuft of fur ringed around where my ankles should be, where the hoof ran into skin, reaching upwards, but only thinly. I pulled myself up onto uncertain footing, still without any feet, and looked into the mirror. There was a guy with bright blonde hair, all of it, and golden eyes. "What's even going on?" I just had to make it to the weekend. If I made it there, I could go get checked out. Damn the bill. Maybe it was worth it.

"You are a pretty soft mare," whispered the voice. "Muffins."

I did look kinda sorta like her, but I was a guy, and a human, not a mare. "What's going on?!" But the voice didn't reply, just gone. So I did what any wage slave would do, got ready for work. Shoes? They were a loss. My feet did not even start to fit in them.

So, out I went anyway. My feet didn't quite touch the ground, the hard wall around them keeping them up just enough to let me walk briskly towards the bike shop. "Please be done." That would be, at least, one tiny bit of good news. My pants kept chafing, like I had dropped something into them? As soon as I could get a chance without looking to odd, I reached back there. There was a nub, right there, poking out of my bottom. Why did I have a nub? Why was my week going so badly?!

I could go to the hospital. Look, there was one right there. Right. There. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. I had work in twenty minutes. I had to pick up my bike. I had... to keep moving. I swiped my card, twice. It didn't work properly the first time. Why was I so helpless?! Still, paid, signed. "Thanks." I grabbed the bike and headed out.

It was only then that I really thought about it. I should have looked pretty darn odd, clopping around on hooves, but I hadn't been stopped. Well... good! I had to get to work. Thankfully, I'd be doing it on a repaired bike! Pedalling was strange and uncomfortable, the spikes poking my feet past my hoove's walls, but it was working, bless it all, and I was soon at the coffee shop, ready to serve customers.

The shattering sound, glass shards flying. I had dropped a glass. I never dropped glasses. Dropping glasses was something you don't do, if you didn't want to be yelled at. My fingers had gone stiff for just a precious instant, long enough for the glass to go tumbling, hitting the floor, breaking into so many pieces.

I could hear my boss shouting at me from the back, ordering me to do something. I don't even remember what it was. Everything was doubled, my vision going. It was not a good day. I grabbed another glass and quickly made what the customer had asked for. "Sorry about that, don't know what went wrong."

Should I have just said I was getting sick with something I never heard of? Maybe run off to a doctor? Maybe... But I had another shift after that one. I'd have to call out twice, all in one day. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a few breaths. I could make it through the day. I could do it...

The bike ride felt a bit less prickly. My feet, er, frogs? Those hooves were hooves, real hooves, 100% hoof going on there. My frogs were harder, able to withstand the pressure of riding my bike properly. I had hooves, real hooves. My steps on hard surfaces even sounded more like a two legged horse was coming through.

And not a single person noticed, only the things I messed up, they noticed those just fine. Lucky me!

Something was pressing uncomfortably against my pants as I pedaled to a stop. That nub? I already knew it was there, it couldn't be that, right? I laughed under my breath as I got my bike locked into place and hurried in, right to the bathroom, where I could find out more.

It was a tail. There wasn't much else to call it. It even moved, just a little. I had a tail in my pants, and I really shouldn't have. "Alright!" I shouted at the uncaring universe. "I'll go get it looked at..." After the shift. I still had to do that shift, do my part, not get fired...

Of course that wasn't the end of it, of course... I tucked my odd new limb to the side and got my pants back on, but my apron was an odd fit. My chest wasn't puffy anymore. Ha, did you think that was good news? Nope! My chest wasn't on my chest. More of over my ribs, my breasts (yes, we guys have those too) had fallen, and they couldn't get up again, despite my feeble effort to correct the situation. Still, that wasn't stopping me from working, and still, not a single person had commented on me, physically.

They just had complaints when I messed up, when my vision went double, and things began to fall as if by magic, tumbling to the ground just for me to grab up and try to undo the chaos. It felt like I was scooping up sand into a pile, just for it to tumble right back down against no matter how fast I tried, but I was getting work done, slowly.

Ugh, I kept wanting to go to the bathroom, not because I had to... go or anything, but it felt like something was being bothered down there, like my pants were rubbing on something the wrong way, which they were! Stupid tail. Stupid sight. Stupid everything.

My fingers were getting stiffer as the evening went by, slowing me down. It was like I had been out in the cold too long, but they weren't frozen. Perfectly warm, and uncooperative. I could not have been more relieved when the clock struck. It was time to go home. It was time to collapse in bed and pray for it all to go away.

It would go away, right?

Author's Note

Welcome! Poor soul, caught in Fetlock's net and being dragged slowly into machinations he does not understand. This story will be updated at 4k/chapter 2/month. Expect another update next week to catch up with this month. Initiate fun!

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5 - A Magical Train Ride Away

"What are you staring at?" He was tearing into a steak. I am not exaggerating there. He suck his beak right into it and he pulled with his talons, rending the poor steak into several hunks that he got to snapping up, grease and sauce spattering from the effort. "Steaks bother you?" He looked almost pleased at the idea.

"Actually..." I was nibbling at my muffin, which was perfect, by the way. "You probably won't wanna..."

"Want to what?" He raised a feathered brow before chomping into that steak. "Mmm, beyond me how ponies even know how to make this, you know?"

"Search me." I honestly had no idea how that fit the usual pony palette. "Can I try some? A little?"

He watched as I licked my lips and he slowly set his steak down. "What?"

"I was asking if I could try a little." My eyes were locked on the steak. Minus being torn into, it was a fine looking steak.

"You're a pony," he reminded. "You should be asking for, what, wheat cakes and carrots." He threw a hand aside. "Not bloody freakin' steaks." I noticed other ponies had begun peering, not at him exactly. I was the odd one.

"Just a little." I smiled brightly. "I won't ask for anything for the rest of the day!"

"That's a lie." Despite that, he grabbed the food between two talons, digging those claws in and pulling apart, rending it in half, then one of those halves in half, offering me one of the quarters. "I want to see this. Since you asked for it..." He leaned in, a cruel smirk on his face. "You have to eat it all."

"Don't threaten me with a good time!" I grabbed for the quarter and, flop. Hooves were not super great at grabbing like that. I snatched it up in my mouth instead, the muffin forgotten for the moment. Mmm! The juices exploded through my mouth as I worked at it with great bunch munches. My new teeth were not quite as able to tear into it, but my jaws were nice and strong, making up for it. I was grinding that steak into nothing, my eyes closed as I thought about it. A good steak, the kind you'd paid $20 just for the steak. Who knew pony land would have such? I could remember not having that kind of thing often.

"That is freaky."

Oh, right, I wasn't alone. Gael was gaping at me. So was everypony else. I swallowed thickly, banishing proof of what I'd done. "Sorry..."

"Are you just trying to impress me?" Gael picked up the other quarter and dangled it in the air. "Or do you want this too?"

My eyes were on the wavering bit of meat. "Well, if you don't want it..." I didn't want to be rude to him, my owner, even if I still didn't quite grasp how things worked.

"You really aren't joking..." He slapped it down on my plate, sauce splattering on impact. "Go ahead. I wanna see."

"It's not that I only like steak," I deferred. "But I was just as surprised there was any."

He peered at his new pony. "So you don't want it?"

"Don't you?" I reached for my muffin, chewing softly. "Mmm..." The attention on me began to ebb away as I ate something far more appropriate for a pony to be enjoying.

He gave a bit of a huh, but went back to eating his food. With the steak abandoned, he eventually snatched that up too. I think he noticed that I never did flinch at how he ate, even if he was a bit of a slob. A hunky slob? Dang it! That's like the worst kind...

With a full set of bellies, we headed back to our benches and settled in. Sleep came not long after that, but not for long. Dang, he was cutting down a forest with how loud he was snoring. As much as whatever made me like him was glossing over everything else, that was a bit much.

Ah ha! I crept down from my bench and snuck closer, watching his tumultuous breathing. There was a trick I read once... I reached over with my hooves and slowly, so slowly, nudged him onto his side while humming a bit of a sleepy melody.

Thump, right onto his side. The noise abated significantly and he sank into the cushion. He was happier, I was happier. Everyone won! Victory swelling, I hopped back onto my seat, my wings folding up from my extremely short-lived flight. I watched him doze, sleep not coming as quickly a second time.

There I was, a mare, on another world (Equestria I assume?), owned by some random griffon? I had not signed up for any of that, I promise! What would my jobs think, with me just... vanishing like that. I had a break, right? I couldn't remember how long it was... Was Jessica alright? Why did I remember her name, but mine?

The answer to that came to me on its own. She had no new name. She was Jessica, to me. I was Ditzy Doo, not to be confused with some human name I went and forgot. Speaking of being a pony. I spread one wing, then the other. I wanted to try them... If you're going to get turned into a pegasus, you have to fly! It was in the rules, somewhere...

But he was asleep, and the leash was still wrapped up in his fingers. I was going nowhere. I mean, sure, I could yank him right off his bench, or maybe slip the leash out... But neither of those are things Ditzy, er, I, would do? I was pretty sure he'd deserve it, but I didn't do it.

We rolled towards wherever we were going.

Which turned out to be way less metropolitan than the city we'd left. We pulled up in the middle of nowhere. "We fly from here," he advised, hopping off the train and pointing with his free hand. "My town's just over there, not that far away. You can fly, so we should be there soon."

Oh, wait, we got to fly? My estimation of the day leaped up and my wings spread out. "Yes!" I mean, I had no practice, but a big part of me really wanted to fly. I began to bounce up and down, my wings flapping eagerly. At the apex of one of those jumps, my wings came down at just the right time and I soared forward! Just for the leash to go taught, my neck to get yanked back, and down I went in a great big pile. "Ow..."

"Moron." Gael stepped over me. "We go together or not at all."

I rolled to the left and stood up. "I'm not running. Flying, you know, leashed, is gonna be hard."

He looked at me, the leash, and onwards to his out-of-sight town. "Huh..." He stepped closer and suddenly yanked my down by the collar. "I'll be really mad if you make a break, and I can fly faster than you."

"Which I won't," I firmly assured, standing as tall as I could with my head being pulled down. "You own me."

"Yeah, I do..." Still, my saying it seemed to calm him down. With a soft click, metal against metal, he undid the leash and pulled it away. "Alright, follow me."

Soon, we were doing it! I mean, sure, he was doing it, but who cares?! I was flying along! The world was a blurry mess, but I kept focused on his back end as the wind blew over me. The resistance was stronger when I was directly behind him, and I soon took up the traditional V position where it felt like the wind was blowing least on me. My wings adjusted a little left and right without my thinking about it, keeping me in the air, giving a powerful flap to keep my height steady.

It was wonderful!

I remembered aged advice. Ponies like me favored one eye. One. I closed one eye and looked around, things coming into better focus. I could see the griffon town we were approaching. It was just as run down as I distantly remembered seeing it somewhere. Where was it? Had I been to a griffon town before? That seemed unlikely. "Is this your home?" I shouted ahead towards him.

"It ain't much, but it's our home now." He began to land and I came in with him, focused on keeping the distance steady. It was all going great, until it wasn't. The ground came up so quickly! I swear it was sneaking up, ready to pounce! I slid and thumped against the ground, rolling several times until I came to a halt, my head twirling.

"Nice landing." Gael pointed to the right. "That's my house, where we'll be staying."

I shook out the dizziness and could hear other people talking?

"Gael," shouted down a female. "What is that behind you?"

"Want me to scare it away?" asked a male.

"That's a pony ain't it?" called a third.

I could see Gael did not live in a proper 'house'. It was more of a griffon apartment that he shared with other griffons, and they were looking at us curiously. "Hello." I waved at them, a hoof going left and right. I hurried to keep up with Gael, who was ignoring his neighbors. "Don't get involved with them," he advised quietly.

"Why not? They seem nice enough." Not that I'd seen much of them, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt, an idea that seemed to ring true with both Ditzy and my original self. "Saying hi can't hurt."

"You'd be surprised." He pushed open a door at the ground floor and shoved his way inside. "Nevermind that. Welcome!"

It was... not glorious. He had a nest-bed? And something that could vaugely be called a kitchen? "Um..." There really wasn't a lot else. "Where's the bathroom?"

"Huh? If you need to wash, the river's that way." He pointed the direction. "You don't stink yet."

Well, that was good! "I meant, you know, when you have to... go?"

"You don't go anywhere unless I tell you to." He lifted from the ground and landed on his next, looking down at me. "I thought--"

"I meant, you know, squatting?"

"Oh! Oh." He inclined his head, looking at me confusedly. "You can go outside for that. People get angry if you do it too close to the house. Whatever."

I would... just let loose like a wild animal? I made quite the face. "Oh..." Which meant he probably wasn't providing any toiletries either. How did they live like that?!

"Why are you looking so weird?" He leaned off the side a bit. "Look, you're here to teach me, got it?"

Ah ha, a hint! A purpose. "Teach you what?"

"How to win."

Well... that was vague. "Win what?"

"Ugh." He rolled out of his nest and hit the ground on all fours, facing me. "The pony you're a copy of is really great at making people want to give them stuff. Make me good too."

I tried to process that, sitting down on my new haunches. "I make ponies smile by getting them what they want."

"And how do you do that?" he prompted, looking so hopeful.

"I--" I pointed at myself. "Work at the post office. I take ponies packages and deliver them where they're needed and ponies get really happy to get their mail!" I felt giddy, happy, to be talking about the mail. "I don't always get it right, but I try my best! They appreciate that. And I smile!" Oh, how I smiled, beaming at him. "A good smile can make the day better."

"Right... but we don't have much in the way of mail around here." He rolled his eyes. "Besides, Gabby has that locked down, and I'm not getting involved with her. Ugh, she gives me the creeps. A griffon should not act that way." He prodded me with an avian talon. "So come up with an idea that doesn't have a post office in it."

An idea... "Well... to start." I turned back towards the outside. "You could get to know your neighbors. They're friends you haven't finished making!" I bounced a little in place, not fully rising from my seated position. "You could talk about griffon things!" What did griffons talk about? I really had no clue, but they could talk about it! Whatever it was.

He was eyeing me critically. "You don't get it, but I know how to fix that." Uh oh. I wasn't sure I liked the way he said that. "You can meet them for me." Wait, that wasn't... so bad? He went for his door, chuckling the entire way. "Hey, jerks!" He opened the door to find a griffon hen right there, falling forward. She had had her head held up to the door. "What the-- Gelly! Get up!"

Gelly scrambled to her feet with a winning smile. "Hey! I saw you come home with a pony and I got curious." Her eyes went to me. "Aw, she's cute and she looks lost."

"And she's mine," emphasized Gael.

"It's true," I remarked, unable to deny that simple fact that had become a corner of my life.

"Wait." She tapped her chin with a finger. "Are you that lonely, you went and got a pony girl?"

Gael blinked so slowly. "What? No. Look. She actually wants to talk to you." He put a talon right on my butt and shoved me forward, hooves sliding against the dirt. "Here you are, one friend you haven't made yet."

My own words, turned against me! I smiled at the hen. "Hiya! I'm... Ditzy. I used to deliver mail." Wait, no, I used to do customer service. That was related, right? Still talking and making people happy while getting them things they needed. "But now I'm here."

"Ditzy?" Her eyes wandered, skipping from one of my eyes to the other, which were different places. "Your eyes are crazy. I'm Gelly." She hiked a thumb at herself. "Want a look around?"

Actually? "Yes please! Gael, can I go with her?"

Gael looked to Gelly instead of me. "I want my pony back in one piece, got it?"

"I'll take good care of her." She threw an arm over my withers and led me outside. The moment the door was shut, she twirled me towards herself. "Did that scuzzball buy a pony so he could take advantage of her? I mean, they're his bits or whatever, but that really gets my feathers in a knot."

She was angry. Upset, for me? Aw. "Thanks." Maybe she was a nice bird?

She thwipped me across the snout, my nose wrinkling as I fell back. That hurt! "Ponies are pansies, compared to a griffon, but that doesn't explain why you haven't run off by now."

By now? "I just got here."

"We're standing outside. He's not here." She leaned in, eyes wandering and homing in. "What's that?" She grabbed my collar, her fingers trailing along it. "You're a pet?!"

Well... "Kinda? Gael owns me." That much I knew as iron clad fact. "So you live above?" I turned my gaze away from the irate hen towards the upper levels of the house we were in front of.

"Look, if you want to, I won't chase you." She let go of my collar. "Doubt anyone else would care either. Just saying..." But I wasn't running away, or flying. "I don't get it. Right, that one's mine." She pointed at one of the crannies of the building. "I got that nice big green ribbon."

Oh! I could see that one. "It's pretty."

"Isn't it?" she said, a proud smile on her face. "Now, look, I don't know you--"

"I'm Ditzy, you're Gelly," I reminded her.

"I didn't forget that." She rolled her eyes. "Ponies, I swear... I don't know you."

"You could?" I offered, extending a hoof towards her.

"Maybe..." She spread her wings wide. "The fountain's over there. Bet he didn't bother to tell you." He hadn't. "Don't drink from the river, good way to get sick. People wash in there, or do other stuff."

Good to know! "Thanks." I didn't get my shake or hoof bump, as she was fleeing, so I just waved and headed right back to Gael's place. The door wasn't locked, so I went right back inside. "I'm home."

"That wasn't long." Gael was back in his nest. "So, how'd it go?"

"We just met, but she seems nice." I rubbed behind my head a little. "I think she's new to ponies."

"That goes for everygriff around." He huffed softly. "But she didn't pick on you or nothing?"

"No." Was that a concern?

"Good." He sat up and gestured towards the kitchen. "You can eat breakfast and lunch when you're hungry."

Yay! Wait... "What about dinner?"

"We eat dinner together, or you don't eat dinner at all." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You still owe me lessons."

"Well, I did make a friend," I proposed. "Did you learn anything from that?"

"Pretty sure there's more to it than that..." He flopped in place with a grunt. "I'll have to go to work soon."

He had work?! "What do you do for work?"

"Huh? Oh!" He polished his front, looking suddenly smugly satisfied. "I'm a local tour guide."

I had to tilt my head at that. "Why didn't you tell me about the water fountain?"

"You didn't ask," he said in a tone that implied he thought his logic was not only iron clad but kinda obvious. "Duh."

I pointed to myself with a little smile. "As a mail mare, I would be upset if I gave bad mail information." How much mail information did I actually have? I don't think I was a mail person before!

"I don't need you to tell me how to do my job!" he huffed.

"You had Fetlock call me to do that."

He raised a finger for a silent moment before it fell. "Right..."

I sat back, considering him. "Why is a handsome griffon like you not with a hen, anyway? Gelly's available." At least, her nest did not look big enough for two.

He went red rapidly. "None of your business. Fine! I get it, let's get back to business." He stormed towards the kitchen, tail swishing agitatedly behind him. "So how would you do it, if you're so smart?"

"Tell people about the town?" I considered that a moment. "There are lots of curious people who want to meet you. The drinking fountain is over there. The river is over there, good for washing and stuff, but don't drink that!" I struggled for more facts to throw, but... "I don't know much else. I'll keep listening so I learn stuff."

"That isn't much," he taunted. "Nocreature would want you for a guide."

"That isn't nice," I huffed, chest fluffing out. "I need to see how you work. When's the next time you go to work?"

"Whenever." He waved it off like it was nothing.

But it wasn't nothing! I could feel something boiling up. "When are you scheduled to go to work?" I asked more firmly.

"What does it--"

I crashed into him, my hooves on either side of his neck. "What does the schedule say?" I asked in tight tones.

"What do you care?!" He shoved me back and dusted himself off. "Last I checked, I'm on tomorrow, 10 in the morning."

"Great!" My smile had returned. "I'll be with you and we'll see how you do. Tomorrow, 9:45."

"I said 10," he gusted as if I must have misheard him. "Stupid pony."

"I said 9:45," I basically sang out. "If you're not early, you're late, and you're never going to be late again."

"You are mine," he reminded with a scowl. "You do what I say."

"And you said to teach you how to be better and get people to like you." I nodded with remembrance. "And I'm going to do that. When we're done, you'll be the best there is, and creatures will line up to get a tour from you. Your boss is gonna give you, like, a thousand promotions in surprise."

His rage petered out. "A thousand, huh?" The temptation of money got to him as he stroked his beak. "I like the sound of that..."

"Be ready!" I clopped a hoof down, determined about this specific thing. Though I quickly remembered. "I think it's lunch time." He said I could make my own lunch, so I headed for the kitchen to begin hunting for snacks. "You hungry too?"

He followed after me. "You are a strange pony. You know I'm a griffon, right?"

"Huh?" I peeked over my shoulder at him. Yep, griffon. 100%! "Yes you are."

"Griffons, you know, apex predators?" He rolled a talon at me, one brow raising. "We'd probably find a pegasus pretty tasty overall?"

"But you wouldn't do that," I counter argued with a little nod. "Because I am yours. Why would you eat your own pony? That would be silly." And a waste of money from what little I knew. "You didn't buy me just to eat me."

"Stop trying to be smart." He crossed his arms defiantly. "Besides, you don't know where the good food is."

"Will you tell me?"I had one ear turned as I dug through the fridge, searching.

"Maybe after I get that first promotion." His smile returned, almost a leer. "Earn your treats."

"Okay!" Earning a treat seemed entirely reasonable at the time, even if some part of me realized that was a bit off. "Ooo." I dug out some bread and set it aside. And some cheese... Lunch was coming together... Ah ha! "I am a pony."

"Yeah you are," he agreed, though looked confused. "Why?"

"So I will get some pony food to add to it. Be right back!" I trotted for the door and he didn't stop me from leaving. He did, however, trail after me.

I sniffed the air gently, letting the air fill me. Well, first, it smelled like griffon, which made sense. I was in the middle of a griffon town. For second, griffons were not as clean as they should be! So it smelled like twice as many griffons.

But, the third one. I smelled tastiness and wandered towards it with a happy smile. I tilted my head so my left eye was more on it. There it was, a nice batch of flowers that put out just the right kind of smell. Pony food! No griffons cared about it, so, yoink! I sank my teeth into the base and leaned back my entire body, ripping it free of the ground.

"You're going to eat that?"

I jumped in place, coming down facing Gael, who was looking between me and the dropped clump of flowers. "Oh! Hi. Yes. I didn't point hooves when you ate that steak." I stuck out my tongue a little and reclaimed the flowers. "Now I have everything to make a perfect sandwich." I wondered a moment how ponies did it back in pony towns. Were all flowers property of someone else, meaning you couldn't randomly pick flowers?

That sort of made sense. Lucky me, I was in a griffon town, so all the flowers were mine, mua ha ha ha ha.

"You look way too happy about those flowers." Gael was still trailing me. I wasn't nearly as surprised the second time he spoke up. "Do you eat them even with the dirt trailing off of them?"

"No!" I rolled my eyes with a little equine snort. "That's silly. I bet you wash your hunts before you eat them, don't you?"

"You didn't hunt that, you just picked it up."

"A fierce and savage pony hunt." I nodded, pointing at my catch. "It did its best to resist, but I was too much for it."

That settled, I headed inside to make my sammich!

Author's Note

Welcome to a little griffon town! Our protag is adjusting to their new life fairly well, I think.

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