A Princess's Gentlecolt

“Come on in,” Applejack said, gesturing for him to.

“Thank you.” Mr. Blue smiled, removing the cloak he was wearing, to keep the misty rain off. “Who else is here?” he asked, checking he had everything he'd been asked to bring.

“Me, of course, your marefriend, Twilight obviously.” They both started trotting to the living room of the castle. “Pinkie, Rainbow, Starlight, Mac, Fluttershy, and Sunburst so far.” He nodded.

When they got to the living room, he placed the snacks he had brought with the others, and walked up next to Rarity, kissing her cheek as she spoke to Fluttershy. She blushed and quickly kissed his cheek when Fluttershy was talking.

“You are late,” she scalded lightly.

“My apologies, it took longer than expected to get organised.” Rarity fluttered her eyes at him.

“I guess I will forgive you, this once,” she teased.

Mr. Blue had started dating Rarity, after she had accidentally discovered him and Twilight discussing some matters, he had attended to for her. The price of her silence had in fact only been, accompanying her to an event in Canterlot. The Ponyville rumor mill had caught onto this quickly, meaning they were stretching it out a little, not that either was complaining.

“So, what can I get you?” Applejack asked, gesturing to the drinks table. “We have sweet hard cider, dry hard cider, regular cider, Whiskey, Punch, Wine, or some Apple Brandy.”
“Apple brandy sounds wonderful.” Mr. Blue smiled, levitating the drink with him.

When he returned to Rarity, Fluttershy was complaining about her brother. He never ceased to be amazed by the difference in her, when she cared about something as much as, her brothers attitude.

“I know he lacks confidence in himself sometimes, but he's taking advantage of the situation.” Rarity was nodding sympathetically.

“I know darling.”

“May I ask what’s happened?” Mr. Blue didn't know Zephyr, but had heard some stories.

Fluttershy sighed and took a long drink from her glass.

“Zephyr thought it was a good idea, to attempt to fly to work asleep, or at least in his sleep mask.” The image of the aquamarine Pegasus, flying into other ponies and buildings, flashed across Mr. Blue's mind. “He crashed into another Pegasus and broke his wing.”

Mr. Blue nodded in understanding.

“Fluttershy is upset about his treatment of their parents,” Rarity continued, letting Fluttershy calm herself a little.

Mr. Blue sipped his brandy, and thought about how he and his siblings used to be, when they were sick or hurt. His sister was the one who would milk it when possible, being the baby of the three.

“I might ask Rainbow to come with me, his thing for her may trick him out of bed.”

“Well good luck darling, with whatever you choose to do.” Rarity lead Mr. Blue into a corner, stealing a kiss.

“Is everything alright darling, it's not like you to be late?” He rubbed his cheek on hers softly.

“Just the rain, I lingered in it a little much.” She looked him in the eyes, before softening and kissing him again. “Your perfume's nice by the way.”

“Perfume?” She sniffed herself quickly, then sniffed her mane. “Oh, I ran out of shampoo, and had to use the one sweetie’ keeps at the boutique.” She smiled mischievously. “But if you like it... maybe I should get some for you.”

Mr. Blue just smirked at her, as she nuzzled under his chin.

“You two love birds alright?” Applejack asked, trotting up.

“Perfectly dear, were you able to deal with that problem you were having?” Rarity asked, leaning on
Mr. Blue gently.

“Yup,” she replied.

“Wonderful, now then, I heard Apple Bloom has a secret admirer.” Rarity giggled, Applejack rolling her eyes.

“Yeah... me and Mac are looking into that...” She seemed very unhappy about the situation. “If it's a simply schoolyard crush then no harm done, but the wording of the note’s a little too good.”

Applejack explained the situation to the both of them. Apple Bloom had found the note, neatly enveloped in her school desk, with a small bunch of wild flowers. She had spoken to the other Crusaders including Gabby, who might have seen something flying to the post office. Then once they'd failed to think of someone, she went to Applejack and Mac for advice.

“I don't supposed either of you noticed something?”

“No darling, I haven't.” Mr. Blue thought carefully then shook his head.

“Well if you do, you know where I’ll be.” She went to Mac, who was having a quiet conversation with Sunburst.

After a while and a few more drinks they all gathered around by the sofa, using big piles of pillows and blankets. The conversation was meandering and relaxed, mostly just telling amusing or embarrassing stories. Mr. Blue told a few of his own stories, from before he had become a Gentlecolt.

“I spent two and a half days, checking every history book and map I could think of, stretching back to before the first Hearth’s Warming.” It was Twilight’s turn to tell a story. “When I asked Princess Celestia about it, she was very surprised.” She buried her face. “I couldn't look her in the eye for a week.”

“It was an honest mistake, if it was accidentally returned to the history section, then how were you supposed to know,” Sunburst said, trying to be comforting, Starlight snickering uncontrollably next to him.

“Yeah, but History of Erotica!” She groaned into a pillow.

“I've honestly never understood ponies interest in that filth, I can understand a romantic novel or Shadow Spade, but not a story about ponies...” She blushed and cleared her throat. “I'd die if someone wrote one about me.”

“Six technically, though it’s a caricature,” Mr. Blue said, most of the brandy bottle empty next to him. The others looked at him with a mixture of surprise and curiosity.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

“There are stories, nothing officially published but still available if you know where, about the six of you, and Mac... surprisingly.”

“The six of us?” Rarity moved away from her position snuggling him, as she asked.

“Yep, bad pseudonyms, similar physical descriptions, vastly different personalities.” The others looked at each other worriedly, except for Pinkie who leant forwards.

“What are our pseudonyms?”

“Let's see, Flutterbutt, Impurity, Rainbow Flank.” He pointed at them as he spoke, not that it was hard to guess. “All-night Twirkle, Wide Pear.” Mac, normally the archetype of strong and silent, audibly whimpered.

“What about me and Apples?” Pinkie was practically vibrating.

“Bucky Apple and Clyde.” Starlight, who was as drunk as Mr. Blue, was laughing her head off.

“Clyde, what sort of a pseudonym is Clyde?” Pinkie seemed more annoyed her characters name was bad, than that somepony was writing erotic fiction using her likeness.

“I may regret asking this, but what sort of things happen in these stories?” Rarity asked, hesitantly.

“Typically stories involving Impurity also involve Allnight or Flutterbutt, it’s the usual cheap plot, the two are doing something and one or more stallions arrive, to do plumbing or deliver something.” He hiccuped. “Then either they don't have the money, or they want something extra, and so ‘alternative’ payment is needed.”

“What about the others?” Starlight smirked, Sunburst to drunk now to even be coherent.

“Interestingly, Impurity is the only strictly heterosexual character in the stories, while Rainbow is the only pure lesbian.”

Rainbow Dash scoffed.

“I don't discriminate,” she said imperiously, before realizing what she'd said.

“But it's mostly the same sort of thing, or some contest or something.” He had given up on trying to levitate his drink to refill it, just drinking from the bottle.

“I have two questions,” Applejack said, coldly. “One, none of the Crusaders are in these stories right, and two, it doesn't have any animal bucking or... incest?” Mr. Blue shook his head vigorously.

“No, no, no, no, no,” he said, being as clear as possible.

“Good.”

They changed the subject abruptly to something lighter, and far less creepy. After a few minutes Rarity cuddled back up to Mr. Blue, and they stole drunken kisses less and less subtly, as the night went on.

“So I of course go to investigate the noises, and find the two of them making out under some blankets.” Starlight was relaying a story, from before she found the village. “It turns out they weren't brother and sister, they were married and just happened to look similar.”

“Oh my, I don't think I could have coped with the embarrassment.” Fluttershy whimpered blushing.

“It was certa- certon- definitely awkward.” Starlight nodded.

Mr. Blue was on his fourth bottle, Rarity doing her drunken best to stop him.

“That’s it you're both cut off!” Applejack took both their bottles and threw a blanket over them.

“Poo...” Rarity pushed Mr. Blue onto his back, and used his belly as a pillow.

When they woke, Mr. Tangerine was bringing coffee for them all. The teal mare balancing the tray on her back, stabilizing it with her wings.

“Ah, how much did I drink last night?” Rarity groaned rubbing her head.

“Two bottles?” Mr. Blue replied, wishing he had sunglasses.

Once they had eaten and their hangovers had started to fade, they trot slowly to the boutique.

“Come in, Sweetie shouldn't be back from the camp, for another few hours.” The boutique was blessedly dark and quiet.

“So... the stories you spoke about last night.” Rarity sat on the small podium, for ponies to view how they looked in various outfits. “Was it for your job, or...?”

“It was for my ‘job’.” Mr. Blue reassured her. “As you can imagine, even the rumor of it existing, put Princess Celestia in a foul mood.”

“I hope the real versions aren't a disappointment,” she teased, Mr. Blue frowning.

“Of course not...”

“Good.” Rarity kissed him softly. “I'd hate you to think I wasn't a respectable mare.”

“Perish the thought.”

She lead him to her sofa, and laid her head on his belly again, as they just talked quietly.

“By the way handsome, do you own any formal wear, other than the suit you wore on our first date?” Their hangovers had all but faded now, and Rarity was wanting some little work.

“I have a few others, in various states of moth eaten if I'm honest.”

Rarity tutted.

“That is unacceptable.” She got up then thought better of it. “On second thoughts, another day.”

When Mr. Blue dropped quietly down into the map room, Mr. Tangerine and Princess Twilight were dealing with some final business for the day.

“Will that be everything princess?” she asked.

“Yes thank you, I do not require you for my conversation with Mr. Blue, enjoy your evening,” Twilight said, clearly still feeling the previous night.

“Of course, your highness.” She blew a mocking kiss to Mr. Blue and left.

“Good evening, your highness,” Mr. Blue said, sitting on one of the chairs around the map table, with Twilight.

“I trust, that you know about the stories you mentioned, because you're a Gentlecolt.” He nodded in acknowledgement. “My question is, how many copies still exist... in theory?”

“Two, so far as we are aware, one in the file with my report on them in the Gentlecolt archive, and one in the Palace vault,” Mr. Blue answered.

“The Palace has a vault?”

“Indeed, under the throne room I believe.” Twilight voiced a series of rhetorical questions, about why Celestia wanted to keep a copy, before just burying her face a groaning.

“You are relieved for the evening, sleep well.”

“You too, Princess.” Mr. Blue smiled, teleporting away.