You, Me... and Your Friend Discord

by SpyroForLife

Rating: mature
Tags: Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Fetish, Romance, Pinkie Pie, Sex, Discord
Length: 5955

Pinkie Pie invites Discord over to have some fun with her and Cheese Sandwich. Cheese isn't sure about this but hey, anything for his marefriend.

Pinkie Pie is thrilled to have her casual coltfriend Cheese Sandwich back in Ponyville after weeks on the road. With the Cakes out on vacation it'll be just the two of them in Sugarcube Corner all weekend! Plenty of time to catch up and have lots of fun with each other.

Things start off typical but ever experimental, Pinkie suggests they make things interesting with a threesome. Hesitant but curious, Cheese agrees and questions who she has in mind. Why, it's none other than Pinkie's good buddy, the local chaos god Discord.

Oh boy.

Chapter 1 is just Pinkie/Cheese and contains unnecessarily cheesy flirting, plenty of kisses, cunnilingus, vaginal, multiple female orgasms, kinda rough (entirely consensually) sex, dirty talk, biting, coming inside, and cuddling!
Chapter 2 has no explicit sexual content but involves threesome discussions and other open talk of sexuality.
Chapter 3 will be the full threesome, additional tags will be added once I post it.

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Published 2020-11-15 17:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-12-14 17:47:33 UTC

Starting Off with an Appetizer for Two

Pinkie Pie hummed a cheerful tune to herself as she tidied up Sugarcube Corner. Only a few more minutes until she was done with work for the day and then she had a whole weekend ahead of her to do whatever she wanted!

And she already had a very good idea of what she wanted to do with the time.

The bell over the door jingled pleasantly as somepony walked in and Pinkie turned around, prepared to tell them that it was almost closing time so she wouldn't be able to make them anything fresh. Then she realized it was a very familiar face beaming at her from across the store.

“Cheese!” She bounded across the distance between them in a second, flinging herself onto Cheese Sandwich and hugging him tightly. “I thought you weren't getting back from Canterlot until later this afternoon!”

“Well, it was a wedding party I was working and unfortunately there was some drama with the groom and some old flame of his that wasn't invited but showed up anyway... I just sort of snuck out as things were getting heated.”

“Oh my.” Pinkie laughed. “I hope they work things out.”

“Me too, the party was going great until then.” Cheese looked around the store. “So, are you about done?”

“Mhm, just a couple more minutes! I'm just cleaning up before closing.”

“All alone?” Cheese asked.

Pinkie nodded as she got back to it. “Yeah, the Cakes are taking a vacation in Rainbow Falls but they'll be back by Monday.”

“Wow, must be tough managing a bakery by yourself.”

“A little but it's fun too! Plus Cup and Carrot are gonna retire one day and when they do, guess who they'll be giving Sugarcube Corner to?”

“Hm.” Cheese rubbed his chin as he thought about it, before grinning and saying, “Pumpkin and Pound?”

Pinkie giggled and dismissively waved a hoof. “Haha, as if. It's totally gonna be mine.” She pushed a table over a couple inches and stepped back to inspect her work, then nodded. “Okay, I think that'll do. All done!” She skipped over to the door and flipped the sign to closed, then locked it.

“So, what would you like to do?” Cheese asked.

Pinkie looked over her shoulder at him and smiled, giving her hips a little shake. “I can think of a few things... but first, let's get ya settled in! You know where the guest room is, right?”

“Of course.”

“You can drop your stuff off there.”

“Can do.”

They headed upstairs, Cheese shrugging out of his saddlebags and setting them down in the guest room. He also slid off his traveling hat and poncho, laying them across the bags.

“Hi, Boneless 2!” Pinkie greeted his rubber chicken companion.

“He missed you!” Cheese lifted the chicken and gave Pinkie a peck with its beak, making her laugh.

“I missed you too, B2! And I bet you missed your pal Boneless Classic, huh?” Pinkie hopped over toward the bed and revealed Boneless 1, who had been gifted to her by Cheese years ago and she has treasured since. She picked the toy up and gave it a squeeze, making it honk loudly.

Boneless 2 squeaked in response and for a few moments, Pinkie and Cheese played with the two, having them peck each other and rub necks affectionately. Then they set the chickens down on the bed, deciding to give them some alone time so they could catch up.

“So cute,” Pinkie cooed as the twin rubber chickens leaned together.

Cheese rested a foreleg across her back. “Yeah. But not as cute as you.”

“Aww.” She nuzzled his snout. He nuzzled back and then planted a kiss on her lips. She tilted her head and eagerly leaned in, kissing back before pulling away with a playful popping noise. “You big flirt.”

“Heh, you taste as sweet as you look, dear Pinkie.”

“Yeah, I had cake for lunch.”

He smirked and nestled his nose up under her chin, murmuring against her neck, “I wonder where else you taste sweet.”

She dropped her voice as she whispered back, “Ohh I think you know.”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don't, I haven't seen you in a while.”

“Then why don't we go over to my room and get reacquainted?”

They playfully bickered and flirted as they walked over to Pinkie's bedroom, where they wasted no time hopping into bed together and getting cozy. Cheese stroked her mane as he peppered her face with kisses, and she wrapped her forelegs around his waist to hold him close, sighing happily. They've only been dating for a few months now and it was still fairly casual, but she did really like Cheese. Far more than many of the other ponies she's had flings with. And as fun as it was to mess around with different people, she kinda wanted to settle down with one stallion. Maybe have a family.

But for now, she could be young and wild, and luckily Cheese was very open to her experimenting.

“Ya know, after walking all the way from Canterlot, I'm kinda hungry,” he said suggestively.

“Oh? Well we can go out for dinner later, but for now...” Pinkie shifted over onto her back and splayed her hind legs open, winking at him. “I've got a little snack for you.”

“Mm, don't mind if I do.” He shifted to lay between her legs, forehooves caressing her soft thighs as he checked her out. Her pretty pink folds were already wet for him and he nestled his muzzle against her, taking a slow, deep inhale. Her scent sent shivers down his back, she wasn't even in estrus yet her sweet musk still had his cock eagerly sliding from its sheath. Once he had his fill, he glanced up at her face. She had her upper body propped up on a pillow and was watching him closely, her cute ears perked forward and her usual bright smile on her face.

Keeping his eyes on her, Cheese stuck out his tongue and slowly drew it upward.

Immediately Pinkie's cheeks flushed and her eyes closed, back arching as she lifted her hips up into the motion. Cheese traced a gentle circle around her clit and heard her moan. He loved how vocal she was. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes, burying his snout deeper between her thighs as he used his tongue to ease her open.

“O-ohh, that's good,” she moaned, back hooves crossing over his neck to hold him in place. “Please, a little deeper...”

He chuckled at her enthusiasm and gave her what she wanted. The next lap of his tongue went inside her and she squeezed around him, letting out a short cry of pleasure. He was so warm. He tilted his head a bit and slowly kissed her, going even deeper with his tongue and Pinkie bucked, aching for more. She felt him pull back a bit and opened her eyes, glancing down. Cheese patted her thigh and smiled up at her, licking his lips off and then just letting his tongue hang out as he panted. She noted how large his pupils had grown and could tell he was getting heated. She could just go ahead and invite him to mount her. But today she felt like taking things slow.

She affectionately ran a hoof under his chin and smiled back at him. Then she stroked along his cheek and up to the top of his head, where she ruffled his mane before pulling his mouth back down.

He got back to it, moaning softly as he ate her out, and the smooth motions of his lips and tongue soon had her moaning too, body trembling as heat built between her legs. She held him down with a hoof while her other forehoof went to her mouth, where she bit lightly on it to keep from getting any louder.

Cheese paused when he noticed that, looking back up. “Hey, the Cakes are out. You don't have to be quiet.”

“Oh? Oh, yeah!” She was so used to muffling herself when she had sex here. But now she didn't have to! She dropped her hoof and when Cheese got back to it, she called out his name.

He gave his hips a small wiggle, rubbing his erection against the blanket. He was so hard it was uncomfortable but for now he was happy to make her feel good. He knew it wouldn't be long before she'd want to move on and he could finally bury inside her perfect body. It's been weeks since he last saw her and he's greatly missed her. She told him he could mess around while he was on his trips, she didn't mind, but he could never really bring himself to do it. He only wanted to have her.

Pinkie was in heaven as Cheese went down on her. He was so bold and playful, exploring every bit of her he could reach and making sure he focused on her sweet spots. She especially loved the way he would swirl the very tip of his tongue against her clit and then kiss her folds deeply, tongue delving between them as he moaned, like she was the most delectable dessert.

Her pleasure was steadily building, she was gently rolling her hips to meet his mouth and she could feel the sensations spreading throughout her entire body, making her grow hotter and hotter, and she only seemed to become more sensitive the longer the other ate her out...

“Ch-cheese, I'm so close,” she gasped out as she felt a small spasm pass through her, the muscles in her abdomen clenching. “Nngh, just a little more, please...”

He didn't speak, instead rubbing her thigh to acknowledge that he heard her before picking up his rhythm. She began to whimper as she grew closer, gripping him more firmly around the neck with her hind legs and thrusting more desperately against him, almost there...

Then he drew her clit between his lips and sucked on it, tongue dipping underneath it and lapping upward. She tossed her head back as she came, ecstasy blossoming in her core and searing through every nerve, and she keened loudly.

Cheese pulled off of her as she finished, not wanting to overstimulate her, instead just watching the way she shook under him, memorizing the honest pleasure on her face. He crawled over her, waiting for her to relax and lower her head to look back at him, then kissed her.

Pinkie was quite breathless but still kissed him back. She felt light and tingly all over, her thoughts off in a haze. All she wanted to do was reward the other for making her feel so good. She could taste herself on his lips and it made her shiver with delight.

“Was that good?” he asked quietly.

“Very good,” she replied, panting. She felt amazing. “You still hungry?”

He chuckled. “Not really hungry, no, but... I am thirsty.” He rubbed his groin against one of her legs and she felt the weight of his shaft.

“Ooh, you sure are,” she chirped. “Why don't I help you take care of that?” She gently pushed him back and then shifted her position, rolling to get on her front, chest against the bed and back legs straightening to lift her haunches up high. She held her tail up and looked over her shoulder at him. “You got me all nice and wet. Please, help yourself.”

“Aw you're too kind.” He allowed himself a few moments to admire the view, loving the sight of her plump ass with that curly tail held up, fully presenting her to him. Once he had his fill, he climbed over her, pressing the head of his cock to her lips.

She leaned back against him and sighed. “Ohh yeah, you feel so good, you need this... take me.”

He locked his forelegs around her barrel, making sure he had a good grip, then slid inside. It was smooth going and he moaned as he was surrounded by her heat. She was so soft too, it was like stroking himself with silk... He moved a little faster, jerking her hips flush to his as he thrust in all the way.

“Oh!” she called out at the impact of him deep inside her, head dropping against the pillow under her. She almost felt like she was going to come again just from the raw sensation of being stuffed full. She adjusted her stance, back hooves going a little further apart, and she closed her eyes and just let herself enjoy how good it felt.

Cheese seemed to be taking a moment to savor it too. But the moment didn't last long. “I'm gonna move, you ready?” he asked.

“Mm, super ready,” she murmured.

“Okie-dokie.” He eased back and she moaned at the friction. It felt especially good when his medial ring slid back out of her, and when he paused, she braced herself. Then he thrust back in and she jolted, whimpering in pleasure. He set a firm but graceful pace, the thrusts of his hips delightfully fluid as he filled her over and over. His long thrusts went deep and she was soon coming again, squeezing around him and making his pace falter.

“Ohh that's it, good girl,” he praised her, getting back onto his rhythm and enjoying how she clutched at her pillow, ears going back as the pleasure overwhelmed her. “Love getting to see my favorite little mare, my wonderful party pony... how is this? You feel good?”

“Oh yeah,” she purred, entire body thrumming with ecstasy as he kept pounding into her. “So good, you feel so good inside me, mm... a lil harder, please...”

“Harder? Heh, you got it.” Cheese leaned his weight a little further forward to push her harder into the bed as he thrust more firmly.

“That's it, yeah!” she cried, easily matching his new pace. He was pushing her forward and back and she could feel the bed creaking, the headboard bumping the wall. It only excited her more. “Give it to me, don't hold back!”

“Of course not. I'll give you whatever you want, sweetie. My little sweetie pie...”

“Ohh...” She shook, already close to another orgasm. “Oh yeah, more...”

“You want more?” Cheese watched the way she frantically nodded her head. “Of course you do. You're such a naughty mare. I love it though.” He gave her rump a light smack and heard her grunt. “And you love getting naughty, huh? Tell me what you want, Kinky Pie.”

“Ah, bite me!”

Cheese didn't even hesitate. He leaned forward and brushed her mane aside with his muzzle before biting into the side of her throat.

“Aah!” She slammed her hips hard back against him and finished for the third time, and this time the sensation of her convulsing around him was enough to finish him off too. He clenched his teeth a little harder as he came, hips moving in frantic jerks as he pumped her full of his seed. Her plush body felt like it was trying to milk him for everything he had, and he gladly gave it to her, mind all but disappearing in the torrent of bliss.

Slowly though, their bodies settled and he slipped out of her, letting go of her neck. He cracked his eyes open and saw that his teeth had left a noticeable ring in her fur. He began grooming the spot, licking gently and hoping it hadn't hurt her.

She seemed alright, though. “Whew,” she said, back legs quivering. Cheese moved to lay down and only needed to gently pull on her before she was collapsing next to him, back leaning comfortably into his front, and he nuzzled the side of her face.

“How do you feel?” he asked gently, brushing some of her mane away from her eyes.

“Heh, super duper,” she replied, meeting his eyes and grinning. Even through her pink fur he could tell she was blushing hard. Her coat was slick with sweat and as he ran a hoof along her side, he could feel her back legs trembling with exhaustion.

“Wore you out, huh?” he said.

“Yeah,” she admitted. “But a lil bit of a rest and I'll totally be up for more! As long as you are.”

“I'm always up. And down. And sideways. However you want me.”

“Hehe.” She planted a kiss on his nose and tried to go for his lips, but he kept turning his head and dodging it. He did this for a few seconds until she huffed and started to puff up her cheeks in mock annoyance, then he went ahead and kissed her on the lips. She laughed at that and turned around to jump on him, and they spent several moments play-wrestling before falling into a warm cuddle pile, forelegs around each other and tails draping together.

“So we have a whole weekend together, alone,” Cheese mused.

“Mhm.”

“You have anything special planned for us to do?”

“In bed or just in general?”

“Either one.”

“In general, not really, we can just do whatever. Though it might be nice to go to the spa tomorrow.”

“Ooh, the spa, I'd love that.”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeah I like meeting there with all my friends, I'm sure they'd love to see you. But when it comes to our private time, well...” She smirked, giving him a sultry look. “I might want to get a little more kinky.”

“Kinkier than just now, with the biting?”

“Oh yeah. Way kinkier, you know me.”

“I sure do.” Cheese affectionately bumped their foreheads together. “Well, I'm always happy to get kinky with you.”

“I have had something interesting in mind,” she said. “How do you feel about a threesome, first off?”

“A threesome? Ah, never really done one before, but... I have kinda been curious,” he replied.

“Okay, that's great! Because I want to have a threesome with you.”

Cheese was hesitant. He and Pinkie were in an open relationship, he knew of her flings with other ponies around town and was fine with that continuing due to how casual things were between them, but he had to admit, he felt a spark of jealousy imagining her getting intimate with people besides himself. Actually seeing someone else feeling her up during a threesome might be a bit too much for him. But he could see how excited she was at the idea and he did want to know what it was like. Maybe he could just focus entirely on her and try not to think about the third pony.

“Well, I guess we could give it a try,” he said. “Who do you have in mind?”

“I don't think you've ever formally met them, but you've probably heard of them, and trust me they're super fun in bed, very creative, always happy to try new things!”

“That's great! Sounds like they'll get along really well with both of us then, who is-”

Pinkie was already plowing forward, “None other than my good buddy, Discord!”

Making Arrangements

Author's Note

(returns after like a year)
(updates a porn fic)
:moustache:

Making Arrangements

For several moments, Cheese just sat there in stunned silence, hardly comprehending what he just heard.

“What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked, waving a hoof in front of his eyes.

“Er, nothing.” Cheese cleared his throat and forced a smile. “Discord, huh?”

“Yeah! We’ve messed around a few times before and he’s so much fun in bed! I think you’ll really like him!”

Cheese hasn’t directly interacted with Discord but he’s definitely heard about him. Not to mention, experienced the Equestria-wide chaos that was wreaked when Discord escaped from his stone prison several years ago. Things had become too wild and unpredictable even for his tastes. Spastic weather and day/night cycles throwing off his sleep. Roads turning to soap one moment and making him slip, only to turn into thick pudding and stick his entire body in place while he struggled to get out of it.

Strange and hostile wildlife running around, inanimate objects suddenly gaining legs and attempting to fight ponies… it was all horrible.

Cheese had been relieved to hear that the one behind it was imprisoned back in stone by the Elements of Harmony. Though news of Discord’s later reformation did reach him, he wasn’t sure it would stick. And indeed, Discord ended up working with Tirek and causing yet more harm.

He reportedly regretted it. And there haven’t really been any large Discord-related incidents since. Even so, Cheese wasn’t sure he could be trusted.

Yet here Pinkie was. Not only considering Discord to be a friend, but wanting a threesome with him! And she wanted to involve Cheese!

Cheese was silent as he thought all this through and Pinkie was soon looking concerned again.

“If you’re worried about how big he is, it’s fine, he won’t hurt us! He can be really gentle actually. Though, well.” She put a hoof to her mouth as she giggled. “You know how much I like it rough.”

“Er, yeah. Though, that’s not exactly what I’m worried about.”

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“It’s just…” Cheese sighed. “I’m not sure I trust him.”

“What? Oh come on, he’s a changed, uh… draconequus. He won’t do anything bad.”

“He said he changed before and then the Tirek incident happened, though,” Cheese pointed out.

“True but he feels really bad about that! He admitted he messed up and is never gonna do that again! He values our friendship. He would protect us with his life. And not just me and my best friends, no, he’d protect any pony. He wants to make amends and be a true friend from now on.”

Cheese was still hesitant. “You really want this? To sleep with me… and him?”

“Yeah, it’d be really fun! But… I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. We could invite somepony else. Or just keep things between the two of us.” Pinkie stroked his cheek. “I got all kinds of toys we can play with. I even have a new strap we could try if you like!”

“Oh?” Cheese’s ears perked at that. He chuckled. “Well that all sounds lovely. But if you want to have a threesome with Discord and I, I think we could give it a try.”

Her face lit up. “Really?”

“Really. But uh, maybe give me some time to think about things. Maybe we could go ahead and go get dinner?”

“Sure. I was thinking we can invite Discord over tomorrow anyway. Tonight can be just for the two of us.”

Cheese liked the sound of that. He agreed and they got out of bed, going to the bathroom to shower before heading to dinner.

They chatted lightly about what they’ve both been up to in the past weeks but Cheese’s mind was on tomorrow. What would it be like having Discord in bed? Of course he planned to keep his attention mostly on Pinkie and figured Discord would do the same. But what sorts of kinks might Discord have? What would he sound like, how would he talk? Would he want to mess around with Cheese specifically?

...And what were draconequus genitals even like anyway?

Pinkie could tell her partner was distracted and had a pretty good guess what he was thinking about. She reached across the table to pat one of his hooves. “We really don’t have to invite him,” she said quietly.

“It’s fine, I want to,” Cheese assured her. “Yeah, he has all this dangerous magical power, but you trust him so I’ll trust him. If he makes things fun like you do, I’m sure I’ll be into it.”

“Oh yeah, he’s great. Just you wait. And he’s so open-minded, pretty much anything you can think of, he’ll do. And I mean anything.”

Cheese’s mind flew through several saucy ideas that definitely weren’t appropriate for this family restaurant. He swallowed and gulped down some water.

Their food hasn’t arrived yet so he couldn’t really distract himself with anything else, so he grinned at Pinkie, hoping he wasn’t blushing too much. His face did feel awful hot, though… “Great,” he said. “That sounds wonderful.”

She beamed. Oh, her smile just lit up his whole world. He wanted to make her happy. Even if that meant stepping out of his comfort zone.

“I think I’ll call him after dinner,” Pinkie decided. “We can set up a time for him to come hang out with us tomorrow.”

“Call? You have a phone?”

“Haha, no, I mean I’ll just call his name. If I do that while wanting to see him, he’ll respond! It’s weird, he just has like, this sense that he’s being summoned. Heck, with all the times we said his name I’m sure he’s already aware we’re talking about him.”

“Wow. That’s crazy.”

“Crazy is the perfect word for him.”

Cheese decided to change subject and they talked more about the Canterlot wedding party job. They discussed it until their food arrived, at which point they were mostly quiet while they ate.

Though Cheese had ordered the house salad with a side of rolls, Pinkie was digging into a rather large pasta dish and had already ordered a slice of cake with her meal. He watched her as she ate, amused with how she didn’t bother with any silverware, just diving in with her mouth.

In a place like Canterlot, ponies would turn their noses up at such behavior. But here, it was perfectly common. And personally, Cheese found it cute.

He used a fork to work on his salad, which slowed him down enough that Pinkie was done far before he was.

“Can I have one of those rolls?” she asked.

“Sure, if I can have a bite of your cake,” he replied.

“Deal.” She swiped a roll and stuffed it into her mouth whole. Then she finally grabbed a spoon to cut off a piece of the cake to pass over.

Cheese accepted it and tossed it in his mouth. It was a chocolate cake with a lovely buttercream frosting. “Mm. Pretty good.”

“Mhm!” Pinkie agreed through her mouthful of bread.

“Not as good as your baking, though,” Cheese continued.

She swallowed and then giggled, casually waving a hoof. “Aw.”

“Seriously, you’re gonna have to make me one of your cakes this weekend.”

“No problem!”

As they finished their meals, Pinkie decided to order wine and asked if Cheese wanted anything. He consulted the drink menu and decided on a bottle of ale. He wasn’t much of a drinker but it did help him relax.

They spent another thirty minutes at the restaurant as they had their drinks and finished off their plates. Then they paid the bill and headed out.

Once they were outside, Pinkie led the way over to the park, saying she wanted a bit of privacy. They found an area away from most of the park visitors and lifted her face toward the sky, calling, “Discord! Oh, Discord! Do you have a minute?”

Cheese looked in the direction she was, expecting Discord to appear out of thin air at any moment. When there was no response, he said, “Hm, maybe he’s busy, can you leave a voicemail?”

“The draconequus you have dialed has not set up voicemail,” a voice suddenly said behind Cheese. He nearly jumped out of his coat.

Pinkie, however, laughed and spun to leap at the newcomer, hugging him.

Discord laughed and hugged her back. “Good to see you, Pinkie, my friend!” He set her on her hooves and looked at Cheese. “And who’s this?”

Cheese knew Discord was tall but hadn’t thought he was that tall. Even if Cheese was fully reared up on his hind legs, he would hardly reach Discord’s chest. And then there was the other’s long neck that raised his head high into the air. The size difference was intimidating.

“This is Cheese Sandwich!” Pinkie explained. “I’ve told you about him, he’s a party pony just like me!”

“Oh, the famous Cheese Sandwich!” Discord knelt, lowering his head and offering a hoof- paw. That was a paw being held out, a very lion-like paw. “I’m Discord.”

Cheese was nervous but he reached out so Discord could take his hoof and shake it. “I don’t know about famous,” Cheese said.

“Nonsense, you’re a celebrity! I’ve watched so many of your parties from afar and they always look so fun! And Pinkie’s told me quite a bit about you too. I’ve been eager to meet you.”

“Pinkie told you about me?” Cheese glanced over at Pinkie.

“Yep,” she chirped. “All good things. About us working together to make Rainbow’s birthaversary day extra special. And all our party secrets, and about me helping you out with that business of yours and helping you realize how much you like seeing ponies laugh…”

“Yes, she’s quite fond of you,” Discord said. “And I must say, you seem like quite the interesting character! Weird, if I had to describe you in a word.”

“I get that a lot,” Cheese replied.

“Which is great!” Pinkie declared. “We’re all weird! So yeah, Discord, we have a proposal for you.”

“A proposal?” Discord asked. “What sort of proposal? If it’s for my paw in marriage I’m afraid I must decline, for my one true love is chaos.”

Cheese couldn’t help but smile at that and Pinkie said, “Chaos? Is that your nickname for Fluttershy?”

“Ssh!” Discord frantically shushed her, looking around to make sure Fluttershy wasn’t near. Cheese was surprised to see the other start blushing. Discord quickly tried to laugh off his own behavior. “I mean, haha, what do you mean, Fluttershy? Y-yes, she’s great, but I love her as a friend.”

“Mhm,” Pinkie said, not convinced.

“Really! I’m in a committed relationship with chaos itself. I definitely do not have a crush on my dear friend Fluttershy, of course not, that would be silly.”

“Right.” Pinkie was enjoying teasing the other. “Well, this isn’t a wedding proposal, so don’t worry, you can still marry Fluttershy later. I just wanted to know if you wanna join me and Cheese tomorrow?”

“Join what?” Discord asked.

Pinkie cast a sly look at Cheese, who was starting to feel more confident in Discord’s presence, but he was still cautious. She looked back at her friend. “We wanna have a threesome,” she said bluntly.

Cheese was used to her straightforward attitude about sex but he still grew embarrassed. No one was near them but they were still outside, anyone could wander closer and hear all this.

“Well!” Discord straightened to his full height once more and Cheese nervously scuffed the ground with a hoof. Then he told himself to get a grip. Pinkie was shorter than him but she was totally relaxed next to the tall creature, so he should relax too. Discord stroked his beard as he examined the two of them. Then he leaned back down, meeting Cheese’s eyes. “Pinkie, I know, is totally down for this. But are you prepared?”

“Me? Oh, sure,” Cheese answered. He almost wanted to look away from the other’s intense red eyes. They seemed to stare straight through him. Right into his mind. Wait, could Discord read minds?

“You don’t sound sure,” Discord said. He began stroking Pinkie’s back. “You probably want to make her happy, yes? But if you don’t want this, I won’t do it.”

That was very considerate. Cheese felt bad for judging Discord so harshly earlier. “I want to,” Cheese insisted. “What’s life without taking chances? I’ve never done this sort of thing before, threesomes I mean, so I’m just a little nervous, but I want to try it. I’ll have Pinkie right there. And you seem fun. She told me you’re fun.”

“I’m the king of fun,” Discord replied. “Pinkie and I have gotten up to plenty of mischief together. I would be happy to have you join us.”

“So, have you and her… invited other ponies before?” Cheese asked curiously.

“Sure have,” Pinkie said.

“Oh yes,” Discord confirmed. “Hm, let me think… ohh, right.” He turned to Pinkie with a grin. “You and I had Rainbow that one night, did we not?”

“Yeah! ‘Course, Rainbow really loves her mares, she seemed more interested in me, but she let you have some fun with her.”

“She did! Wasn’t she drunk, though?”

“Ohh yeah, it was the end of an apple cider season, she got some of Applejack’s special hard cider…”

“I’m still not sure about that one, she did consent, right?”

“Yeah, she was into it! We checked with her the next morning, remember? She was totally cool with everything.”

“Yes but it still makes me feel iffy. I would prefer not to have anyone who’s drunk.”

“Understandable. And hm, I know you and I had another threesome, oh who was that…”

Discord snapped his fingers as he remembered. “Twilight.”

“Twilight, of course! Only time I ever slept with her, actually.”

“That so?”

“Yeah, I think she was more interested in you, actually. Kept talking about research. Pft.”

Discord laughed. “I’m still waiting to see if anything about draconequus reproduction suddenly shows up in a scientific article.”

Cheese grew more at ease as the two chatted. They had a very playful energy with each other. It was comfortable. So he spoke up, “Well hey, it’s great that you guys have this kind of bond already. But you’re gonna have to show me the ropes.”

“Literally or metaphorically?” Discord asked. “Because she’s definitely got ropes at her place.”

Pinkie giggled.

“Oh I’m quite familiar. But metaphorically. I wanna have a good time with both of you.”

“Don’t you worry,” Pinkie said. “As long as you go with the flow, things will be great. Don’t overthink it, just trust your instincts. Just like you do when it’s just me and you.”

“Don’t overthink. Right. I can do that.”

“So, when might you be available tomorrow to have fun with us?” Pinkie asked Discord.

“My schedule’s free. Just give me a shout whenever you get started and I’ll be there.”

Pinkie nodded. “Great! Can’t wait to see you.”

“Can’t wait either.” Discord flapped his wings and jumped into the air, but didn’t leave right away, hovering there above them. “Oh, and Cheese?”

Cheese grew nervous again at the devious glint in the other’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Do make sure you’re well-hydrated tomorrow. Well-hydrated, well-rested, and well-prepared. Because we like it hot and messy.”

Cheese chuckled, briefly digging at the ground again. “O-oh, of course! Yeah, I’ll do that. Can’t wait.”

“This is going to be such a delight.” Discord turned and flew off. Cheese tried to track where he was going but then the other simply vanished, apparently teleporting somewhere.

“Well, it’s settled!” Pinkie began walking back toward Sugarcube Corner. “You ready for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, totally!”

“Thanks so much for keeping an open mind. This’ll be fun, I promise.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Tonight though, why don’t we have a little more fun? You up for playing with my riding crop?”

“Oh man.” Cheese quite liked the crop. “I would love to. But can I choose the safe word?”

“Sure!”

“Okay. Fondue fork.”

Pinkie burst into laughter. “Fondue fork! That just makes me hungry.”

“We just ate.”

“Yeah but be honest, you could totally go for a nice fondue right now, right?”

“Always,” Cheese admitted.

“Heh. Same. Okay, fondue fork it is.” Pinkie broke into a trot once she saw Sugarcube Corner ahead. “Let’s get to it!”

Cheese eagerly trotted after her, looking forward to the rest of the night. He hoped he enjoyed tomorrow just as much.