Granny and the Golem

by My Little Scribbler

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Other, Granny Smith, Diamond Dogs, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7163

When Granny Smith was a filly, she built a golem to protect the farm with disastrous results.

Long ago, when Granny Smith was just a wee little filly, diamond dogs were robbing Sweet Apple Acres night after night, and with a zap apple harvest coming, there was a desperate need to protect the farm. That was why she and her best friends, Red Embers and Bug-a-Boo, decided to build a magically animated statue called a golem to protect the farm. However, their golem was far from great. In fact, when the diamond dogs invaded, it didn’t even work as expected.

Published 2012-08-31 07:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-18 14:21:58 UTC

Thieving Mutts

Granny and the Golem
Chapter 1: Thieving Mutts

Everyone knows that diamond dogs love diamonds, but few know they have a thing for apples too, which is why they were in one family’s apple cellar digging through the supplies. As quietly as ghosts, they filled up their baskets and sneaked off into the Everfree Forest in a long line. A line of dogs carrying torches were the only light sources aside from the moon overhead as the dogs ran into the forest.

The leader of this band of thieves was an ornately dressed mutt named Razor. He stood outside of the cellar, watching the diamond dogs like a gargoyle. To add to this visage, he wore his diamond-encrusted breastplate and a golden helmet with bird wings that stuck up high into the air like bull horns.

“Hurry it up, the sun will rise soon,” ordered Razor in a high-pitched growl. He clicked his sharp teeth in irritation as he waited impatiently for the dogs to clear.

The last one was a mangy looking runt of a dog named Barker who stumbled out of the cellar as fast as he could, but tripped over his own paws, spilling the apples onto the grass.

“Barker, you klutz,” whined Razor. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Sorry, sir,” pleaded Barker as he scooped up apples into his scrawny arms. Strapped to the belt he wore was a little burlap sack that swung wildly as he tried to scoop up more of the apples.

“Leave it, we only need enough to last us for five more days.”

“Why? What happens in five days?”

“Didn’t you see the timber wolves we passed on our way here?”

“Yes, so?”

Razor grabbed Barker by the collar of his vest and hoisted him to eye level. “Because in five days, we’ll have even tastier apples to feast upon. NOW GO!”

Barker picked up his half empty basket of apples and chased the others into the forest. Once he was among the trees, a low branch caught onto the burlap sack. As Barker pulled free, he did not notice the sack as it was torn off his belt and plopped onto the dirt. There the bag lay as the light of the diamond dogs’ torches disappeared into the forest.

Far from the hustle and bustle of the large cities like Canterlot, Manehattan, and Cloudsdale, there was a newly built farming community that had attracted many ponies to settle down despite how close it was to the Everfree Forest. Drawn to it by the unique discovery of the zap apples, new buildings had been set up, creating a small town to accommodate the needs of the new ponies moving in. This new town, known as Ponyville, had also attracted many families there to raise their foals, providing more playmates for a little filly named Granny Smith.

On the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres and near the Everfree Forest, Granny Smith glared at a spike in the ground with a green horseshoe gripped in her teeth. “Watch and learn as ya see a pro play horseshoes.” She flung her head, swinging her pigtails in the process, as she sent the horseshoe flying toward the spike only to have it plop down almost a yard away from the target.

“Ha, nice toss,” said Red Embers, sarcastically.

“The sun was in my eyes,” interjected Granny Smith.

“But the sun is in the east,” pointed out Bug-a-Boo. “You were facing the west.”

Granny Smith growled in annoyance. Unlike the rest of the Apple Family, she actually bore a resemblance to her namesake thanks to her green coat. Drawings of red delicious apples covered the orange bandana around her neck, further evidence of the apple growing business of her family. Her red bonnet covered her neatly braided snow-white mane while an apple pie Cutie Mark decorated her flank.

Watching Granny Smith’s angry pout were her two best friends, two fillies named Red Embers and Bug-a-Boo.

“Come on, let me have a turn next,” said Red Embers.

“Okay, ya take a shot.” Granny Smith picked up a red colored horseshow and threw it at her.

Red Embers tried to catch the horseshoe with her teeth, but it caught onto her horn instead, dangling in front of her eyes.

“Oops, I guess ya make a better stake than a unicorn,” said Granny Smith.

With a flick of her head, Red Embers tossed the horseshoe into the air and caught it with her teeth. “Oh, we’ll see about that.” Much like the horseshoe she clutched in her mouth, her coat was tomato red. While red was predominant throughout her body, the only offset was the hot pink in her eyes and short hair. The picture of three burning clumps of coal decorated her flank. She stood behind the line, ready to toss the horseshoe.

“You can do it, Red,” shouted Bug-a-Boo, her wings fluttering in excitement.

Red Embers tossed the horseshoe, but let out a disappointed grunt as it only landed a foot closer to the spike than Granny Smith’s horseshoe. “Well, I’m still closer.”

“It’s your turn, Boo,” said Granny Smith, nudging the pegasus with her hoof.

Bug-a-Boo used one hoof to adjust her thick-framed glasses. “Oh, sure.” With those large glasses on, it magnified her eyes into large purple orbs, giving her a bug-eyed look on her face. Underneath the large glasses were little freckles peppering her cheeks. Her coat was as blue as the ocean with a curly mane and tail that was gray as the clouds. The most colorful part about her was the rainbow colored beetle she wore as a Cutie Mark. She picked up a blue horseshoe and got into position.

Granny Smith and Red Embers stood there, watching Bug-a-Boo as she stared at the stake, gearing herself for the toss. They waited, and waited...and waited...As Granny Smith grew bored of the suspense, she noticed that Bug-a-Boo was not staring at the stake but up at the sky. “Hey Boo, what are ya looking at?”

Bug-a-Boo stared up at the sky with a dreamy look on her face. “Oh, I noticed that cloud up there looks like a cute little lady bug.”

“For Pete’s sake,” shouted Red Embers, angrily. “Will you throw the horseshoe already.”

“Oh, right.” Bug-a-Boo threw the horseshoe and it flew wildly in the air, crashing clear passed the stake and far away from its intended target. “I missed. Oh well.”

Red Embers did a face hoof in frustration. “Oh Boo, how can you miss like that? Even with those huge glasses of yours, you couldn’t hit the broad side of barn.”

“Oh come on, just because she has bad aim doesn’t mean...” A strange sound coursed through the air and tickled Granny Smith’s ears. She craned her neck toward the forest, looking on intently.

“Hey Smith, what are you looking at?” asked Red Embers.

“Do ya hear it?”

“Hear what?”

“Shhh, listen.”

In the forest, they could hear the distant howls of timber wolves echoing through the air.

“The timber wolves are a-howling,” said Granny Smith as she skipped up and down on her hooves in excitement. Before her friends could inquire further, she bolted off, galloping at full speed back to Sweet Apple Acres. As she ran, the sound of the howling timber wolves grew louder in her ears. Once she got into Sweet Apple Acres, she saw the clouds building in he sky and she knew that it only meant one thing.

“THE TIMBER WOLVES ARE A-HOWLING! THE ZAP APPLES ARE COMING!” She raced along the dirt trails and passed the house, screaming at the top of her lungs, “THE ZAP APPLES ARE COMING! THE ZAP APPLES ARE COMING!”

As she continued her parade, one by one, the rest of her family came out of hiding. Her oldest brother, Prairie Tune stuck his head out from the open window in his bedroom, followed by Happy Trails, her second oldest brother. Both brothers looking on as their sister ran passed. Her father, Pokey Oaks, was out on the fields with a plow strapped to his back when he saw Granny Smith running by screaming at the top of her lungs. By the time she had made her rounds, she circled farm to find her friends waiting for her.

“THE ZAP APPLES ARE COMING!”

“Zap apples? So that’s what this is all about,” said Red Embers. “How do you know the zap apples are coming?”

“The timber wolves are the first sign of an upcoming zap apple harvest,” explained Granny Smith. “Once they start a-howling, that means that it will be time for the zap apples to appear.”

“So, when are we going to be seeing the zap apples?” asked Bug-a-Boo.

“In five days.” Catching the fillies by surprise was Pokey Oaks. He left his plow behind and approached the fillies caked with sweat and dirt. “In five days, the zap apples will appear and we’ll have ourselves a nice little harvest of zap apples.”

Red Embers rubbed her belly as she thought of eating that zap apple jam. “Do you think you can share some of that zap apple jam with us?”

“Of course,” said Pokey Oak. “Speaking of which, Granny Smith, I’m going to need you to start singing to the water and preparing to make the jam.”

“Yes, Papa, I’ll work extra—“ She was interrupted by a loud high-pitched scream that echoed from the barn. “Hey, was that Mama?”

“Let’s go see.” Pokey Oaks galloped off at full speed with the fillies following close behind.

They ran into the family apple cellar where they found Sew n’ Sow standing at the entrance, gawking at the paw prints on the wooden floor and eaten apples littered everywhere.

“What happened here, mama?” asked Granny Smith.

“We’ve been robbed!” shouted Sew n’ Sow in hysterics.

Red Embers stared at the paw prints with curiosity. “These prints look like wolf prints. I didn’t know timber wolves liked apples.”

“These prints didn’t come from timber wolves,” said Granny Smith. “They come from diamond dogs. Those thieving mutts have been stealing our apples again.”

Red Embers gawked at her out of confusion. “What are diamond dogs?”

“Oh, oh, I know,” announced Bug-a-Boo, hopping up and down. “They’re those subterranean diamond scavenging dogs.”

“That’s right,” said Pokey Oaks. “This is the third time they’ve robbed us in three weeks. With the zap apple harvest coming up, I’m worried they might try and steal those too.”

“What are we going to do, papa?”

“We’ll have to put new locks on our doors, perhaps patrol our farm at night, and hope for the best.”

“That doesn’t sound very reassuring. Why can’t ya’ll ask the sheriff to help?”

“I doubt the town’s only sheriff can do much against a pack of diamond dogs, and he has his hooves full already. No, we’re on our own. Now ya three run along while we handle this.”

“But...”

Pokey Oaks gave Granny Smith a confident smile. “Don’t worry. We’ve survived much worse. Now run along and play.”

The three fillies left the cellar without another word, worried glances plastered on their faces. As they wondered off, they eyed the trail of paw prints leading from the cellar and into the Everfree Forest, imagining the diamond dogs as they ran off laughing with bushels of apples in their dirty claws.

“Those look like diamond dog tracks,” said Red Embers. “I bet if we follow them, we can find their hideout and drive them away.”

“That’s too dangerous and entering the Everfree Forest is against the rules,” said Granny Smith. “We should just let the grown-ups take care of it.”

“Well I say damn the rules to Tartarus,” said Red Embers. “Who’s with me?”

“I’m in,” cheered Bug-a-Boo.

“I don’t know about this,” said Granny Smith. “The Everfree Forest is not safe, especially before a zap apple harvest where the timber wolves are up and about.”

Red Embers grinned evilly. “What, are you chicken?”

Granny Smith glared at Red Embers, her eyes glowing with anger. “What did ya just call me?” She pawed the ground with her left hoof like a bull.

“You heard me. Chicken! Chicken! Granny Smith is a chicken!”

“I’ll show ya who’s a chicken.” With that, Granny Smith marched off toward the Everfree Forest with Red Embers close at her heels.

Bug-a-Boo casually followed her, looking off ahead with a wide grin on her face.

Even in broad daylight, the forest immediately upon entering had a dim atmosphere that blanketed the three foals as they entered the forest. The strange smell of exotic plants filled the air as they wondered deeper. The only thing that seemed familiar was the sounds of animals, but even that was hauntingly muted.

All of these unfamiliar sensations made Red Embers nervous as she looked on from left to right, wondering what might be lurking behind the trees. She jumped in surprise when she heard a timber wolf howl in the distance. Although Red Embers was jittery and jumpy, Granny Smith and Bug-a-Boo pressed on without fear or hesitation.

Bug-a-Boo in particular had the same grin she had on her face the whole time as if she was going on a casual stroll in the park. “So are we getting close to the diamond dogs?”

“I think we’re going in the right direction.” Granny Smith’s ears twitched as she listened for any sign of timber wolves. As she climbed up and over a pile of logs, a strange dark shape loomed into her field of vision. She tentatively looked over the edge, and saw what appeared to a burlap sack lying on the ground. “What in tarnation is this?” She gingerly opened the sack and inside found four diamonds: red, yellow, green, and blue. The diamonds were neatly cut into uniform rectangles and sparkled in the sun.

“One of the diamond dogs must have left this behind,” said Granny Smith.

“But where did they go?” asked Red Embers.

The howl of the timber wolves echoed throughout the forest, startling the three fillies.

“I don’t know, but I don’t think we should go any further,” said Granny Smith.

“Well, if you’re getting scared, we could go back,” said Red Ember, trying to hide the quiver in her voice. “Let’s get out of here.”

The three fillies raced out of the forest with Bug-a-Boo carrying the bag in her teeth. They escaped the forest and found themselves back at the stake, the horseshoes still lying where they landed.

“Hey, Boo,” said Granny Smith. “Why did you bring that bag along?”

“I recognize these diamonds,” said Bug-a-Boo. “They’re elemental diamonds. A perfect set of four, each representing the four elements. I’ve seen these kinds of diamonds before, I just can’t remember where. I’m going to fly over to the library and find out.”

“But what about the game?” asked Red Embers.

Bug-a-Boo picked up her saddlebag, stuffed the diamonds inside, and strapped it on. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back before you can say ‘rhinoceros beetle.’”

“Rhino—“ Before Red Embers could finish, Bug-a-Boo took off into the air, speeding off toward the tree where the library was located. “—ceros beetle?”

“That filly is so random,” said Granny Smith.

“Yeah, but she’s fast for some pony with such small wings.”

“Why do ya suppose she’s so interested in a couple of dumb old rocks, anyway?”

“I don’t know...Maybe they look like beetles.”

The fillies giggled when suddenly, Bug-a-Boo skidded to a halt in front of them.

“You guys, I have the solution to our diamond dog problem.”

“How’d ya get here so fast?”

Without answering Granny Smith’s question, Bug-a-Boo stuck her snout into her saddlebag and pulled out a library book. She dropped the book at her hooves so her friends could see the title: The Golem of Plotue.

Red Embers ran a hoof along the cover as if she had never seen a book before. “What’s the book for?”

“I was reading this book yesterday. It tells the story of this town called Plotue that was invaded by marauding griffons. So the villagers built a golem to defend them.”

“What in the hay is a golem?” asked Granny Smith,

“It’s a pony made of rocks and dirt.” Bug-a-Boo opened the book. “And this book explains how they made the golem. We could make our own golem to protect the farm.”

“I’m liking this idea,” said Red Embers.

“But how are the three of us going to make a golem?” asked Granny Smith.

Bug-a-Boo dumped out the diamonds from the bag. “These diamonds are just like the ones the ponies used in Plotue. We could build our own golem with the magic of these stones.”

“Are you sure this is safe?” asked Granny Smith.

Bug-a-Boo adjusted her glasses with one hoof. “What’s the worst that can happen?”

The Golem of Sweet Apple Acres

Granny and the Golem
Chapter 2: The Golem of Sweet Apple Acres

As the sun rose to signal the morning of the second day of the harvest, the leaves sprung up on the zap apple trees in a flurry of sparks. As the older family members got to work preparing for the harvest, Granny Smith was already preparing for her own job.

Pokey Oaks was at the door to the apple cellar, carefully unscrewed the screws on the old lock. The lock popped out with a loud squeak, clattering on the ground. He picked up the new lock and carefully slid it into the door. Before he could insert the screws, there was a loud clatter of metal tools behind him. He turned around to see Granny Smith spilling the gardening tools she had balanced on her back. She let out a huff of irritation with a trowel in her mouth.

“Granny Smith, what in tarnation are ya doing?” asked Pokey Oaks.

Granny Smith spat out the trowel. “When I’m done singing to the water and collecting the herbs I need for the jam, Bug-a-Boo asked me to come over and help her with her gardening.”

“Gardening? But I thought Bug-a-Boo lives in Cloudsdale.”

“Oh, did I say Bug-a-Boo? I meant Red Embers.”

“But doesn’t her family make charcoal?”

“Uh, gardening’s just a side hobby. Bye, papa!” She picked up her bunny costume, her watering can, and the rest of her gardening tools and she galloped away, leaving Pokey Oaks to stare off confused.

Outside of the Sweet Apple Acres property was an old abandoned watermill made of cobbled together stone masonry. After lunch, the three fillies met up outside the watermill with supplies in hoof: Granny Smith carrying the shovels, Red Embers carrying wires and string, and Bug-a-Boo had rods of wood. The three fillies dumped their supplies onto the ground next to the riverbank.

“Okay, so what do we do next?” asked Granny Smith.

Bug-a-Boo pulled out her book from her saddlebag. “According to the book, what we need to do is first build a skeleton out of the wooden sticks.”

“Great, and we can build the golem inside that there abandoned watermill,” said Granny Smith.

Red Embers balanced the sticks on her back as she and her friends approached the watermill. As they closed in on the broken-down mill, they could see the eroded and moss covered stones in great detail. Its waterwheel lay in pieces in the river, leaving various rusted pipes and gears to stick out like the broken arm joints of a wooden doll. They walked into the watermill through the missing door only to find themselves enveloped in darkness.

“It’s so dark,” complained Bug-a-Boo, “I can’t even see my hoof in front of my face.”

“Hold on, I can provide some light.” Red Embers’s horn glowed a bright orange as she conjured a small flame at the tip of her horn like a burning candle. The small flame lit up the watermill, revealing a building that was empty except for the various rodents and overgrown plants that call it home.

Granny Smith and Bug-a-Boo pried open the shades, allowing sunlight to flood into the room.

Red Embers dropped the sticks onto the floor, the impact releasing cockroaches from the floorboards.

“Ew, yuck,” shouted Red Embers, dancing over the swarm of insects.

Bug-a-Boo hovered over the cockroaches. “It’s okay, little friends.” The cockroaches stopped in front of her, looking up at her intently and letting out soft chirps in response. “We’re only here for a few days and if you stay out of our way, we promise to be careful and not to step on you.” She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a bag full of sugar cubes and dropped it in front of the cockroaches. The cockroaches eagerly picked up the bag and carried it back into the dark recesses of the floor.

“Yuk, I don’t want to work in a building full of bugs,” complained Red Embers.

“Don’t worry,” said Bug-a-Boo. “They told me you will not even know they’re there.”

Red Embers gave a worried glance to the floorboards. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“It’ll be okay,” said Granny Smith as she picked up the sticks of wood. “Anyway, we need to get this thing built before the zap apples come.”

Days went by as the Apple Family worked to prepare for the zap apple harvest. Everyday, after Granny Smith finished her chores, she would meet her friends at the watermill, working on the golem. On the fifth day of harvest, the zap apples magically appear on the trees as scheduled. As the Apple Family was harvesting the apples, the fillies were finishing their golem. It was suppose to resemble a pony, but it was more like a lopsided mud ball created by a blind manticore hanging upside-down. The head was drooping to one side with one of its two pieces of coal for eyes were drooping with the rest of the face. Each leg was anything but symmetrical with lumpy proportions. String was half-heartedly embedded into its head and rear to give it some semblance of a mane and tail.

“Is this really a golem?” asked Red Embers.

“It’s a little rough around the edges,” said Bug-a-Boo.

“Try explaining that to an art teacher.”

“Well, so long as it still works,” said Granny Smith, “it will have to do. So, how do we bring this thing to life?”

“First, we take the earth diamond and shove it into it’s mouth,” said Bug-a-Boo. She picked up the green diamond and she shoved it into the statue’s mouth. “Next, I need to write the word of power.”

Red Embers stared at her as if she was crazy. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“To bring the golem to life, we need to write an ancient word into its forehead.” Bug-a-Boo picked up a stick and slowly drew three characters into the golem’s forehead.

“What’s that funny looking writing mean?” asked Granny Smith.

“It reads ‘emet’ which means ‘reality’ in the ancient language. Next we hold onto the other diamonds. So I’ll get the air diamond. Red Embers, you can have the fire diamond. Granny Smith, you take the water diamond.” The girls took their respective diamonds.

“Now, I’m suppose to say the spell by facing the east and reciting the spell from the book.” The foals got into position, standing in front of the golem and facing away from each other in the cardinal directions.

Bug-a-Boo held up her diamond in one hoof and slowly and carefully, she said the magic words. “Oh yenih akem ih akel akem!”

“Is that it?” asked Granny Smith, craning her neck around.

“Yeah, the golem should be coming to life by now. Let me repeat it again. Oh yenih akem ih akel akem!”

Bug-a-Boo looked up at the golem but it still remained still.

“Oh great,” said Red Embers, frustrated, “we wasted our time for nothing.”

“No, no, we must have missed a step,” insisted Bug-a-Boo as she flipped through the pages of the book. “Just give me a minute to retrace my steps and we...” A loud scream echoed through the air, radiating from the farm. The fillies ran out of the watermill to see several figures running around in the distance. However, it quickly became obvious that something was going on outside.

“Are those the diamond dogs?” asked Red Embers.

“It can’t be,” said Granny Smith. “It’s the middle of the day. Surely they wouldn’t attack us during the day.”

“Well, those zap apples are pretty good,” said Bug-a-Boo. “Maybe they really wanted them so bad that they opted for a full frontal assault.”

“WHAT!” Granny Smith ran back into the watermill, hopping up and down in front of the golem with anxiousness. “We got to get this thing working. Oh, why didn’t the spell work?”

“I don’t know,” admitted But-a-Boo. “We all have the diamonds. We’re all standing in a circle. I was facing east while reciting the spell...oh, I see what I did wrong.”

“What!” shouted Granny Smith.

Bug-a-Boo stared intently at the writing on the golem’s forehead. “I was suppose to write ‘emet,’ but I instead wrote ‘met.’ What a funny little mistake. I really should have—“

“WILL YOU HURRY UP AND FIX IT!”

Sweet Apple Acres was in chaos as diamond dogs swarmed around the farm. One of the dogs used a lasso to tie down Sew n’ Sow like a bull.

“Oh, this is no way to treat a lady,” shouted Sew n’ Sow as the dogs tied her legs together.

A group had Happy Trails and Prairie Tune tied up and had them dumped outside of the Everfree Forest. It was not long before their mother was unceremoniously dropped next to them, bound and gagged. The last one standing was Pokey Oaks who stood outside of the door to the apple cellar with a pitchfork out and trained on the diamond dogs.

Razor stood in front of the defiant stallion with a pack of a dozen diamond dogs standing behind him.

“Step aside,” he said, “or else we’ll bury you like a half chewed bone.”

“You can have it over my dead body.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic. Just step aside and let us in.”

“I will not.”

“Fine. Be that way. Barker, get rid of this nuisance.”

Barker approached Pokey Oaks with his spear raised and cocked toward Pokey Oaks.

Pokey Oaks raised his pitchfork toward the spear, an unimpressive show of resistance against a spear with jagged edges on the tip of the blade like a broken bone. He stood there, waiting for Barker to thrust his insidious weapon, but Barker instead exhaled a long cloud of halitosis into Pokey Oaks’s face. With just one whiff of the noxious fumes, he dropped his pitchfork in pain. He tried to scamper off away from the fumes but he toppled over instead, gasping like a fish before collapsing unconscious.

“Very good, Barker,” said Razor. “Now get into the cellar and get me those tasty zap apples.”

Just as the diamond dogs were about to break in, they were distracted by the sound of odd footfalls. The dogs spun around to see a large pony made of mud fast approaching with three fillies riding on its back. The diamond dogs watched in stunned silence at the odd pony-shaped object.

The golem abruptly skidded to a halt before the diamond dogs, nearly tossing off its passengers and coming to a stand still like a statue.

Granny Smith leaped off of the golem. “You mangy mutts, get your claws off my family or you’ll be sorry.”

After an awkward pause, the diamond dogs broke into fits of laughter.

“You’re trying to threaten us?” said Razor with a laugh. “You can do nothing against us.”

Granny Smith pawed the ground with her hoof and lowered her head like a bull. “Oh, you’ll see. Golem attack.” She stood there, expecting the golem to charge or at least make a sound. But nothing happened. “I said, golem attack.” Still nothing. “Hey golem, what’s wrong with ya?”

“Why isn’t it attacking?” asked Red Embers.

“I don’t know,” said Bug-a-Boo as she frantically flipped through the pages in the book.

“Enough,” shouted Razor. “Barker, get rid of these fillies.”

The three fillies stood in helpless shock as the smelly diamond dog approached them, holding up his clawed paws.

Barker grabbed Red Embers by her horn, painfully lifting her up by her head.

“Ow, let go of me,” shouted Red Embers.

“I’d like to see you make me?” said Barker. The horn began to grow hot in his paw. The heat grew more and more intense until he released his hold as if he had touched a hot burner. “Owowowow.” He clenched his paw in pain, seeing the light horn-shaped burn on his skin.

Granny Smith spun around and with her hind legs, she gave him a swift buck into the junk.

Barker let out a howl of pain as he clutched his battered family jewels in pain.

“What are we going to do?” asked Bug-a-Boo.

“Boo, go and get the golem out of here,” said Granny Smith. “Red and I will keep him busy for as long as we can.”

Bug-a-Boo flew up to the golem and pulled on its ear with her teeth (which is made of tree bark), but the golem would not move. “Come on, move.”

As the golem’s head was pulled aside, its mouth flopped open to reveal the green diamond inside.

Barker stood up from the grass and noticed the diamond sparkling in the golem’s mouth. “Wait, that’s one of my diamonds.”

“What are you talking about?” demanded Red Embers. “We found those diamonds in the Everfree Forest.”

“And that is where I’d dropped them. Give them back, you thieves.”

Red Embers scrunched up her face in concentration, causing her horn to glow with magic. From her horn, a little puff of flame shot out, barely singeing Barker’s foot.

“Why you little...” Barker picked up Red Embers by the scruff of her neck as if she was a newborn.

Red Embers flailed her legs wildly. “Let me go.”

Barker pulled out a knife from his vest and pressed it against Red Ember’s throat.

Granny Smith turned around and looked at Bug-a-Boo in desperation. “What are we going to do?”

“Oh,” said Bug-a-Boo. “I just remembered. We are supposed to keep the other diamonds nearby. The golem must be out of range.”

“And where are my diamonds,” demanded Barker. “I’m growing tired of this. Take me to my diamonds NOW or I’ll kill this little fire bug.”

Red Embers scrunched her face as she tried to conjure up more fire, but she was having a hard time concentrating while being dangled by the scruff of her neck.

“Okay, we’ll do what you say,” said Granny Smith.

“Then the both of you lie down on the grass and put your hooves behind your back.”

Bug-a-Boo and Granny Smith did as they were told, allowing Barker to tie down Red Embers and Bug-a-Boo with rope from his pockets. Barker reached into the golem’s mouth and yanked out the diamond with a soft crack, spilling dirt onto the grass. “Now, take me to where my diamonds are.”

With one last worried glance on her bound friends, Granny Smith reluctantly turned around and walked toward the watermill, Barker following behind her at knifepoint.

Mayhem on the Farm

Granny and the Golem
Chapter 3: Mayhem on the Farm

As she lay on the grass, Red Embers watched as Granny Smith was led away by Barker. “What are we going to do?”

“Can’t you burn through these ropes?” asked Bug-a-Boo.

Red Embers tried desperately to twist her head around to reach the rope. “I can’t get at them at this angle.”

As Bug-a-Boo struggled against the rope, a little wasp flew passed her left ear. It landed onto the grass in front of her face. She leaned over and started whispering to the wasp.

“Are you talking to that wasp?”

“Yes, and I think he can help.”

“He’s a wasp. What can he do?”

Bug-a-Boo watched as the wasp flew away. “You’ll see.”

As the two fillies lay helplessly on the grass, three diamond dogs gathered around them, guarding them.

Granny Smith led Barker toward the watermill, looking from right to left as she searched for a chance to escape. But despite being surrounded by nothing but trees and open fields of grass, there seemed to be no way of escaping with Barker’s blade at her back. They gradually approached the watermill and entered through the open doorway.

“They’re over there,” said Granny Smith solemnly, pointing a hoof at the burlap sack in the corner.

Barker picked up the sack and peaked inside. “Aw, my diamonds.”

With Barker’s back turned, Granny Smith reached over and grabbed a pointed stick from the floor, gripping it with her teeth. She swung the stick, but Barker spun around and grabbed it, ripped it from her grasp, and broke it in half against the cobblestone wall.

“You’re becoming a nuisance,” said Barker. “For that, I’ll kill you now.” He pulled out the knife from his vest.

Granny Smith backed into a corner, frightfully staring at the long blade pointed at her heart. She shut her eyes tight, not wanting to watch her own demise, but then her ears twitched as a strange buzzing sound echoed in the air.

“What the...” As Barker gazed up at the hole in the ceiling, he saw a swarm of wasps coming down toward him. Barker swung his claws, swatting at the wasps. “Not the wasps. Ah, they’re in my eyes.” He swatted and smacked at the stinging insects, fighting desperately to keep them out of his eyes and mouth. As he fought to keep them off, the green diamond fell out of his vest pocket.

Granny Smith snatched the bag and the green diamond and galloped off back to the farm. With the bag in her teeth, she shouted, “Thanks, Boo.”

Once Granny Smith reached the golem, she shoved the green diamond into the golem’s mouth, but the golem did nothing in response.

“Shoot, I need Boo to cast the spell again.”

She turned around to see the diamond dogs gathered on one side of the barn. They were all taking turns smashing against the door with their shoulders, fighting desperately to force it open. The sounds of creaking wood and metal echoed in the air as the diamond dogs came closer and closer to smashing the door open. Lying tied up next to the cellar was Bug-a-Boo and Red Embers squirming on the ground with the ropes bound onto their hooves. Two dogs stood by, watching over the fillies. Granny tucked the burlap sack underneath the golem and, thinking of nothing else to do, she charged toward the dogs.

Two diamond dogs saw Granny Smith fast approaching.

“What’s she doing?” asked one dog.

“She must be crazy if she’s trying to ram us.”

Granny Smith charged toward the dogs with her head lowered like a bull. She charged without slowing down, unafraid of the dogs as they lowered their spears to skewer her. Just as she was going to collide with the sharp spears, she leaped over the dogs with her powerful legs and landed right next to Bug-a-Boo.

“Why you little...” The dog spun around with his spear trained on Granny Smith, but a quick spark of flame from Red Embers’s horn to the ankle set the dog’s foot on fire. “Owowowow.” The dog hopped on one foot in pain. Granny Smith spun around and bucked the dog into his companion behind him, knocking them over like dominos. As the dogs lay there dazed, Granny Smith quickly untied her friends with her teeth.

The dogs got back onto their feet only to have Granny Smith and Red Embers to buck them in the knee caps and Bug-a-Boo swoop down and bat them across their heads.

As the dogs shook off their daze, the three fillies raced toward the golem with the diamond dogs scrambling to chase after them.

“What do we do?” asked Red Embers.

“We need to get into formation,” explained Bug-a-Boo. Once they reached the golem, she grabbed the diamonds from the sack tossed and them to her friends. Once they got into formation, the diamond dogs were already running full charge toward the fillies.

“Oh yenih akem...”

The diamond dogs were half way there.

“...ih akel...”

They were within reach.

“...akem!”

One dog reached over and grabbed Granny Smith by her pigtails. In desperation, she shouted, “Golem, attack every pony!”

With that command, the golem smacked the diamond dog across his temple with a single hoof made of bark and rocks, followed by another kick to the gut to the other diamond dog. Both diamond dogs toppled over howling in pain. The golem’s wooden ears picked up the screech of shattering wood. It turned its head toward the farm where the diamond dogs finally smashed open the cellar door. It charged toward the dogs, bowling them over with ease and tossing them all into haphazard directions. The golem kicked and batted the dogs aside as if they were made of paper.

“What are you doing?” shouted Razor with anger. “Get that thing.”

The dogs scratched the golem with their spears and claws, but their weapons were not much good against a creature made of mud, wood, and rocks. The golem bucked them repeatedly, knocking them aside with hard jabs and kicks. The dogs ran off in all directions, shouting and barking like crazy.

“Where are you going, you fools?” shouted Razor. “Get back here!”

The golem spun around and smacked Razor into the chin, sending him flying into the air with the gold helmet landing onto the ground with a hard plop. As for Razor, it looked to Granny Smith like he had a soft landing on one of the trees deep into the Everfree Forest

Granny Smith and her friends cheered with elation, watching the fight from nearby.

“All right, golem,” shouted Red Embers. “You showed those mutts who’s boss.”

At the sound of her voice, the golem turned toward Red Embers, its coal eyes staring at her with cold murderous intent. It charged at full speed toward Red Embers.

With a yelp of surprise, Red Embers dodged out of the way of the rampaging golem as it nearly trampled her.

“Hey, what's it doing?” asked Granny Smith. “Why’s it attacking Red?”

“What did you tell it?” asked Bug-a-Boo.

“I told it to attack every pony.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Whatcha mean ‘uh-oh?’”

“A golem will follow every command it hears and it will not stop unless it fulfills the request.”

“So?”

“So, it follows every command it gets by the letter.”

Red Embers was dodging the golem’s attacks, “Well, then stop attacking.” The golem continued to swing its hooves at Red Embers. “I said STOP.”

“I told you,” said Bug-a-Boo. “It’ll not stop until it has fulfilled the command.”

The golem spun its head around and charged toward Bug-a-Boo. She rocketed off the ground and over the golem, her wings buzzing loudly. As the golem stopped to turn around, it stared intently at the forest. Its coal eyes could see the Apple Family, bound and helpless outside of the Everfree Forest.

“Oh no, it’s after my family,” said Granny Smith. “We have to find those diamonds.”

“But where did we drop them?” asked Bug-a-Boo.

As the fillies searched frantically for the diamonds, the golem charged.

Granny Smith leaped onto the golem’s back, gripping it around the neck. She reached for the mouth, but the golem’s mouth was held firmly shut. Her hoof slipped and as she held on to the golem’s neck for dear life, she found herself dangling over the ground, bouncing painfully against the golem’s front.

The golem was seconds away from colliding with the Apples as they squirmed to get away.

As Granny Smith hung there, she saw the writing on the golem’s forehead. She blindly thrust her hoof forward, and smashed off a part of the word with a soft crack.

The golem abruptly stopped, throwing Granny Smith off it and landing right into Pokey Oak’s lap.

Red Embers and Bug-a-Boo sprinted to a halt next to Granny Smith.

“Are you all right?” asked Red Embers.

“I’m fine thanks to papa,” said Granny Smith as she pulled off the gag on Pokey Oaks. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“I’m just glad I had a light lunch,” groaned Pokey Oaks.

The fillies gathered around the Apples and untied them. Once they were free, Pokey Oaks examined the golem.

“What is this thing?” he asked.

“It’s a golem,” said Granny Smith.

“What stopped it?” asked Pokey Oaks.

“We don’t know,” said Red Embers. “It stopped just as we saw the diamonds, so we didn’t do anything and I don’t think it’s far enough away form the diamonds to stop it.”

Bug-a-Boo hovered over the golem, examining the damage on its face. “Oh, that’s funny.”

“What is?” asked Granny Smith.

“Remember when I said that the word I wrote on the forehead reads ‘emet’ which, in olden Equestrian, means ‘reality?’”

“Yeah,” said Granny Smith.

“You ripped off one of the letters so it now it reads ‘met.’”

“What does that mean?”

Bug-a-Boo let out a chuckle before speaking. “It means ‘dead.’”

There was a moment of pause before the implications of this discovery hit them, causing everyone to burst out laughing.

As Princess Celestia lowered the sun in the distance, the whole Apple Family, as well as Red Embers and Bug-a-Boo, gathered around a picnic table set up just outside of the apple orchard.

Bug-a-Boo bit down into a slice of bread with some zap apple jam spread on top. “Yummy, this is the best zap apple jam I’ve ever tasted.”

Sew n’ Sow cut off a slice of bread, put some jam on it, and handed it over to Red Embers. “Here ya go, dearie.”

Red Embers picked up the slice of bread with an irritated expression on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing.” Red Embers held the piece of bread over her horn. From the tip of her horn, she shot a blast of flame that cooked the underside of the bread. “I prefer my bread toasted.” She bit into the bread, humming with joy at the taste of it.

“Ya did good out there,” said Pokey Oaks as he patted Granny Smith on the back.

“Aw shucks, I can’t take all the credit.”

“But what if those dogs come back?” said Sew n’ Sow, shaking with fright.

“That’s okay,” said Granny Smith. “I think our new scarecrow will keep the dogs away.”

From outside of the farm, there was a single pony-shaped statue standing in watch and waiting. Although it could not move, it was just as imposing as any sentry. It just stood there, a reminder of what happened the last time some fool tried to steal from the Apple Family.

The End