Equestria Forsaken

"Sometimes, it can be hard to forgive yourself. I know it will be for me. I.. have had to do things for my husband and my empire that have brought my name nothing but bastardization. I regret my actions, no matter how many times I am forgiven. Maybe one day, I'll forgive myself.." - Queen Cosmos, fall of Queen Noxus

C

The first thing Celestia had noted about Twilight- Oblivion, as she had practically shouted at Luna the day before- after she had awoken was that she was a cuddler. She was not gentle, either. Celestia had been lucky to get enough time to raise Sol before she'd been yanked into a bear trap of purple hooves. Twilight had grown during the night, that much was obvious. Where she had formerly been small enough to fit under her wing, she now lay almost as tall as Celestia herself. She hadn't let up on her vice-grip for even a moment. Celestia could make out little else.

The second thing Celestia noticed was the long, girthy length and two generous orbs pressing against her fur. Her face went red- so red that, had she not been a goddess, she likely would have died of hemorrhaging- at the feeling. She knew what it was- she had since she'd taken Twilight on as a student- but to be this close to it... was an enlightening experience, of sorts.

She didn't know how to feel... but it was eye-opening. Seeing it and touching it- having it rub against her fur- were two entirely different experiences. Her teats seemed to be far more sensitive than usual, and she could feel the cool air blow against her undisguised folds.

It was new.

She didn't mind.

She squirmed her untouched nethers away.

Its purity was both her pride...

and her shame.

It was too pure.

So long as Twilight didn't do that...

Yet, she longed...

She'd was quickly become uncomfortable. The mare beside her was asleep, she was certain. Twilight was a heavy sleeper. It would have taken a rampaging Ursa Major to wake her up. The feeling of the length had made her unbearably uncomfortable, though. It was... foreign. Strange. New.

Like the world she had woken up in.

She had betrayed Twilight. She had left her to her tears and sorrow in an act of foolishness. But...

Twilight's ability to forgive was a feat. Even after what Celestia had said, even though she didn't deserve it, Twilight had forgiven her.

She had let Twilight die.

And then Twilight had forgiven her.

... she didn't deserve it.

Her chest felt odd again. Different feelings, all mixing with the lovely warmth in the center. Pain was one of them. She didn't deserve any of this- she should be on her flanks begging for forgiveness!- but...

It wasn't her choice to make anymore.

That felt nice, at the least.

The smell of ozone that radiated from Twilight was slightly disconcerting. It seemed to mix with paper and ink, sitting itself in an unnatural trilateral between the two. For the most part... the mare smelled like she should.

She laid her head back, resting it against the back of the lofty couch. It felt like an eternity as she laid there, feeling the gentle beating of Twilight's heart and the slow, rhythmic pulse of blood up the length. It was calming, if soothing; and she let her mind be dragged off by the lulling hum. Until she heard a voice.

'Who do we have here?' a cheerful, familiar voice inquired.

She should have expected that.

'The reason I rushed your dawn, perhaps?' she answered back.

'I think it's a very good reason, Celestia. I've never seen you with another pony before. It's... cute. Wait, no.. I don't mean it, like...' Sol grunted in frustration. 'Sorry. I didn't mean it like... cute, like, that... I meant I'm surprised it took you this long to find 'the one'. Thousand years, sheesh. Looks like she was worth the wait, though, hum? She's cute. And, from most of your interactions, like, inequinely nice.'

'Indeed... I simply worry, friend. I... Celestia's mind struggled to put together a coherent thought. She...

'You got the jitters, hm?' She nodded weakly. Sol was childish at best, but... knew what to say, most of the time. 'C'mon, Celestia! You've been waiting millennia to have somepony for yourself! And one you definitely say yes to be a lover to just hands herself over to you on a silver platter? You're crazier than your sister- and she's a genocidal slut!'

Derogatory comment aside, it was true. 'Perhaps, but.. it's simply so sudden. I fear as though it is not meant to be... that it was simply made in the moment.. and are my fears unfounded, truly? What I have done to her... it could not bring any success to us.. have I not poisoned any potential for its possibility to be true?' Celestia sniffed, forcing her muzzle deeper into Twilight's coat.

Sol was silent for a moment.'Celestia,' it finally began, 'I know you think that. I... Hey, I've had a millennia to get to know you. I should've guessed you'd feel that way. But I want you to listen to me. The only pony here doubting this is you. I've seen that mare work- the fact you didn't know she's always felt this way... kind of baffles me- and I'll be damned if I let your paranoia ruin it for the both of you. Did it look like she doubted it? For even a second? Did it sound like some kind of epiphany to her? Or did she say it and know it? The only one here that's having any kind of problems is you. You made a mistake- a bad one. You fucked up, Miss 'Sol Invicta'. You're still going to try to make that up- I know you will. That's just how you are. But damnit- if you ruin this because of your guilty conscious..!'

'You fucked up bad. I'm old- older than you, your father, and your father's father. I've seen a lot of fuck ups in my eternity. Aeternum fucked up when he decided to go and face Discord himself. Cosmos fucked up when he fell into your trap and got himself killed. Galixia fucked up when she decided to 'defend' you from the 'Mad God'. You fucked up with Scorpan and Tirek. You fucked up with Sombra. You fucked up with Luna. Do you know what you did afterwards? After Tirek had rampaged through Equestria? You blamed yourself. Even after you defeated him. You blamed yourself for not getting to the Crystal Empire in time to save its ponies. There's a lot of stuff you can blame yourself for. But you need to stop right here.'

'I might not know the mare as well as you, but I know enough. I know enough to know that if she knew you'd beat yourself up over what you did, she'd scold you like a filly and blame herself. And you know I'm right. So don't start having second thoughts now. Twilight broke her own mind, alright? I saw it happen. I'm the sun for eternity's sake. Twilight wantedMagicto break her mind. She'd asked for it. Did you make a mistake? Yeah. Yeah, you definitely did. Do you plan on fixing it? You'll try. But.. you can't expect this to work, if you're just going to go on and on because of guilt. It would be you poisoning the relationship. Remember, Twilight told you she forgave you. Don't waste that forgiveness like an idiot. Not every single misfortune in history is your fault.'

'Besides, she really will need you. Not many ponies ascend, and the ones that do typically have to take a while to get used to it. She's not gonna be an exception to that. You heard her yesterday- her mind is trying to run her in circles. The Aether sucks like that, apparently. And with all those elements? We're lucky she hasn't gone insane. Of course she'll need you. By Elysium, how do you think she feels when she's alone?'

She'd gotten used to Sol constantly being right. Of course the sun would be right. Of course the sun's argument was completely and utterly true.

Of course she had nothing to retort.

It was right.

'I... had not thought... of.. that...

'Trust me, you wouldn't have. Guilt clouds the mind, but that's why I'm here. You love her, don't you?' She nodded vigorously. Every part of Twilight had been something she had sought; her heart; caring even in the most hopeless circumstances, her faithfulness; even in treachery, her intelligence... she had a way of getting under Celestia's fur that she'd never felt before. The rare beauty in the mare was hard to miss. Their personalities' similarities. Twilight left her with an odd, fuzzy feeling in her chest. A feeling that had spread throughout her body when she was with the mare...

'Then listen to me for once in your life! You always ignore my advice- but listen to me now! Just this once- gods! We don't have the connectionLun and Luna have, I know! You don't talk to me much! Even friendly, we aren't that close! You prefer listening to yourself. I understand that! But please! You don't have to listen to me again, but... please. Just this once. It's... it's all I ask.. I'll never contact you again unless you want. Just... listen to me. One damn time...'

Many times in the past, Celestia had ignored Sol's pleading in favor of her own plans. She'd always placed her own experience before the experience of the sun...

But now, the sun's experience was all she had to go by.

So she'd listen.

Outside, it brightened a smidgen. 'Please do not make me regret this, Sol.'

'You won't, Celestia. My advice tends to have a much better outcome than your self-loathing.' Celestia's lips tilted downward.

'Oh, don't be a sour puss! I'm only trying to help. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? A guilt-ridden, heartbroken Oblivion falls and becomes the next Nightmare Moon with no Elements if Harmony to stop her?' Sol mocked. The joke was terrible, of course. In fact, it was a terrifying thought. But insult to injury was how the sun tended to work.

'Would your wisdom perhaps extend to this?' She focused on the feeling of the slick length against her stomach.

Mild amusement overcame her worry as Sol went silent for another moment, seemingly entranced in thought. She waited for a reply, the rushing of solar energy that had flooded her ears dimming.

'Well.. I will admit, I have never seen anything like it... or... felt? It doesn't matter.. truthfully, what you wish to do with this knowledge is for you to decide. I see no reason for this to become something major. She might be a goddess, and she might have.. one of those, but inside, she's still a mare. What are your thoughts?'

'I... I believe similarly. The problem is miniscule, indeed. Of course, this does mean that we could...' Celestia gulped.

And the sun seemed to flare through the window.

'OPPORTUNITY!' With that, and a screeching blare of solar wind, the voice went silent.

'Great gods, what have I done...' She watched the window, the sun glowing with more radiance than it had in all her life. Perhaps Sol was correct, though. The sound of a low, husky groan singing against her eardrums was a sign that she would find out soon enough.