Celestia thought it would be hard to enter Discord's castle, but aside from dealing with some annoying apparitions, all she had to do was walk through the front door. Granted, one could be forgiven for turning back after witnessing a version of yourself passionately caress a manatee, but Celestia had seen considerably worse throughout the course of her life. Honestly, it wouldn't even be in the top ten terrible things others had done with her image.
From afar the castle somehow managed to be both childish and imposing at the same time, with its garish color scheme and pointy turrets. It looked more like a toy than the seat of all power in the realm.
Inside, the decor was sparse. Nothing could be seen but a long hallway with endless doors on either side. Each door looked different from the next. One was bright pink with a smiley face, another brown and boring, a third completely white with no doorknob.
Celestia stood in the hallway and shouted.
"Discord! We have appeared. Show thyself, and keep thine end of the bargain."
In response, a orange-yellow door flew off its hinges. Celestia took a deep breath, and entered the hole in the wall where the door used to be.
Within was a grand ballroom, showcasing immaculate marble floors, an oak table, and a huge window with a beautiful view of nearby mountains.
It was an illusion. The view was all wrong. She would know, as she had seen it every day for years. Though it had been her castle, it was unrecognizable. She hoped the renovations were only magical projections. If he had actually changed the layout, it would take considerable effort to fix.
Discord sat at the table, facing Celestia. "You're late," he said. "I expected you three hours ago."
"If not for thine ransacking of the landscape, we would have arrived sooner," said Celestia.
"Oh, please, show me some respect. Call me "you." And, last I checked, you no longer have a claim on the royal we, since this is my realm now."
"Very well... you," Celestia said. From her experience adapting to the customs of other cultures, she could adjust to his demand easily. Showing respect to her usurper made her uncomfortable, but it wasn't the hill she would die on. That was tucked away in her saddlebags.
Discord smiled. "Splendid," he said. "Now, I'll hear you out, and if I don't like what you say, I'll turn you into an octopus. Deal?"
"Tis fair," said Celestia. She cleared her throat. "I have with us... me, the game of four truths. I would be honored for you to play with me."
Discord laughed. "A game? Really?"
"Not just any game," said Celestia. "A gambling game. I will bet you four truths for the freedom of my sister."
"Really? You don't want your powers back, or the crown?"
"You would refuse me if I asked for those things."
Discord tapped his forehead with a claw. "You know me so well. And what would I get, if I won?"
"I will tell you how to control the sun."
"Oh, you mean like this?" Discord snapped his fingers and the sun disappeared behind the mountains.
Celestia smiled. "I know that's only an illusion. You can't deceive me with regard to the sun. It's still there, even if it doesn't appear to be."
"Well, congratulations, smarty pants. I suppose it would be more fun to have the real sun zip around the sky. Could probably do some delicious things with the planet. Melt some glaciers, boil some oceans. Not to mention it would strip you of your remaining power. How does this game of yours work?"
Celestia approached the table and removed the relic from her gem-encrusted bag. It was a granite slab with two rows of holes drilled into it, four on each side. With it, she brought an old, dog-eared deck of cards. She placed them both in front of Discord.
"It's simple," she said. "Each of us will take turns shuffling this deck. Dealer draws two cards, and looks at them. They offer a card to their opponent, face-down. That player chooses whether to accept the offered card, or take the one the dealer kept. Once the card has been chosen, we reveal, and whoever has the higher card wins the round. Win four rounds, and you win the game."
"So what's this slab for?"
"It compels us to tell the truth. Each round you lose, you must tell a truth to your opponent. It's a sign of good faith. If I lose, I won't be able to lie to you about the secret of the sun. If one were to lie after losing a round, they would explode."
"Literally?"
Celestia nodded.
Discord spread his arms apart and laughed. "How delightful! I'll be honest with you Celestia, I was sure I'd have octopused you by now, but this is just too good to pass up. You're offering me the power of the sun, along with three bits of juicy gossip?"
It took all of Celestia's restraint not to sigh in relief. Everything depended on Discord accepting the terms of the game. She had been right to believe that offering secrets about herself would tempt him against his better judgment. The embodiment of chaos, ironically, loved to be in control.
"If I lose," she said.
Discord waved his arm dismissively. "You're going to lose. I'm wonderful at games. Let's start. Not with this deck, though."
The cards floated in the air, then turned into an ice cream cone. Discord ate it in one bite.
"Let's play with these."
A new deck of cards appeared in the air, black and pristine. They landed in front of Celestia.
"Examine them, if you like. I'm sure you'll appreciate it."
The cards seemed normal, though the queen was a crudely drawn Celestia smacking herself in the face with a melon baller, and the king was a regal Discord smiling smugly on a throne.
Celestia wondered why he'd chosen a melon baller specifically, then decided she didn't want to ask. She needed to stay focused to beat him. She scanned the cards for magic, and they were clean. If they were rigged, it was too subtle for her to detect, and Discord wasn't subtle.
She looked up at him. He examined her saddlebag, and idly tapped the six gems sown on the outside. Then he shrugged, and tossed it across the room. She noted where it landed.
"These cards are acceptable," she said.
"Excellent. Let's begin."
"First we must swear to the slab what our final truth will be." Celestia turned to the granite on the table. "I swear my fourth truth will be how to control the sun."
The slab glowed red for a moment, then went back to being a slab.
Discord scratched his chin. "If you're playing me for your sister's freedom, then what do I swear?"
"You must swear to release her."
"Very well. My fourth truth will be to release Luna from captivity."
The slab glowed red again. This time, the light lingered.
"Now we can begin," said Celestia. "The challenged one goes first."
"Don't mind if I do," said Discord. He picked up the cards and shuffled them with one hand. He selected the top card, and placed it face-down in front of Celestia. Then he put the next card in front of himself.
"Choose," he said.
"You are supposed to look at the cards before dealing them."
"Do I have to?"
Celestia checked the slab. The red glow was consistent. If the slab were displeased, the light would pulse.
"I suppose not," she said.
With nothing to base her decision on, she was at a loss. She had practiced this game for weeks, looking for patterns in player behavior. When would someone offer the winning card to their opponent? When would they place it in front of themselves? Apparently, Discord's strategy was to let luck have its course.
Celestia sighed. "I will accept the card you offered me." She flipped it face up.
Five of diamonds.
Discord flipped his card.
Ten of clubs.
The slab made a guttural sound, as one of the four pips facing Celestia filled in with red light. She felt the effects instantly. Something bubbled within her, longing to be free.
Discord laughed. "Do I get to ask the question?"
"You have no control over my truth."
Discord leaned his chair back to such a degree it should have fallen over. Instead, it defied gravity.
"How dull. Well, what do you want me to know?"
She didn't want him to know anything, but she would prefer not to explode.
"Occasionally, I have a desire to become a certain kind of tyrant," she said. "The kind who does terrible things because she has to. Who sacrifices others while believing it is for their own good. Who acts selfishly, in the name of selflessness. There is nothing I want more than a good excuse to be evil."
The slab released its hold on her. She felt like she'd taken a breath after emerging from underwater.
Discord made a tsk sound. "Oh, Celestia. What would your former subjects think? That's hardly becoming of a ruler. This is why I'm better suited for the job than you. I don't deny who I am. You, my dear, are a hypocrite. You'll find no such inner turmoil within me. I'm living my truth."
Celestia bit her tongue. She had carefully rehearsed what truths she would tell Discord were she to lose any rounds, but all that planning had gone out the window when the slab jammed its hooks into her. She'd only used the artifact once before, and it had been so long ago she'd forgotten how powerful it was.
Her mouth had spoken the first truth that had come to mind. Knowing this, she tried to suppress the thoughts of all the worst things she could tell him, which only made her think of them with greater clarity.
She took a deep breath. In most practice games, she had lost two rounds. This was to be expected. Still, she had a right to be concerned. The future of Equestria depended on what happened in this room.
She shook her head. "Give me the deck."
Discord threw the cards on the ground, scattering them. Celestia collected each one with her magic.
"I'm having a wonderful time," said Discord. "And that was only the first truth. What else will you tell me?"
Celestia shuffled the cards without a word.
"Oh, come now. You're not mad at me, are you? Just for making fun of your terrible desires?"
Celestia drew two cards and looked at them. They were the king of hearts and the three of clubs. She studied them carefully.
"Just deal already so we can get to the good part."
Celestia offered Discord the king of hearts.
"I accept your card," he said the moment it hit the table.
They flipped the cards, and Discord laughed.
"You're so predictable, princess," he said.
Again, Celestia felt the urge to speak a truth. She reached into the depths of her mind to find something that she could bear to tell Discord. She failed.
"Once, I sentenced an innocent soul to die."
She hoped that would be enough to satisfy the slab, but it wasn't.
"His name was Bonfire. He was brought before my court in chains. The griffins told me he had killed one of their delegation, and they demanded the right to execute him. I gave them permission, though I had ordered him to carry out the assassination. He didn't react when I betrayed him. He didn't even look at me. I wonder, if I were to die from such a betrayal, if I would face it with such dignity."
Discord sighed. "How boring."
"Excuse me?"
"That story was lame. You feel bad because you had to make some tough decisions while ruling? Give me a break. It's almost as bad as a story about losing innocence, or grieving for the dead. It's so obvious. Why don't you try being a little more unique?"
"We cannot control what parts of our lives affect us," Celestia said with more bite than she intended. "The moments that linger in our minds aren't for us to decide. How dare you imply otherwise?"
Discord examined his paw as if something interesting were written on it. "Sounds like you had a choice, and you decided to kill someone for following your order to kill someone else."
"He knew the risks. We warned him what we would do if he were caught."
"You're using the royal we again, your highness. It's rather presumptuous to speak above your station. Why, I could execute you for such disrespect. But I won't. You know why? Because I've never killed anyone."
"You must be lying," said Celestia.
Discord shook his head. "Nope. I'll say it again under the influence of the slab, if you want me to prove it. But it's the truth. I have the moral high ground over you."
"How can you be certain?" she asked. "You've reigned chaos upon the land for years. Surely, some have been killed by your actions."
"First of all, no one can "reign" chaos. That's just silly. Secondly, if that's the standard you're applying, then I can't defend myself. It's hardly fair to hold me accountable for things I don't even know about."
"Even if they're your responsibility?"
"Especially so. Responsibility's so dull." he crossed his arms. "Oh, Celestia. How do you live with yourself? What kind of horrible thoughts must plague your mind because of such a terrible act?"
"In a perfect world, such choices wouldn't have to be made," Celestia said.
"It's a good thing the world is perfect now," said Discord. He shuffled the cards, and dealt one to each of them. Again, he didn't look.
"Which one do you want?" he asked.
"I'll accept the one you offered," Celestia said. She flipped the card.
Jack of clubs.
Discord flipped his.
Ten of diamonds.
He laughed. "Beautiful. Now, here's a truth for you. The grass is green."
His smug smile slowly turned to a worried frown.
"What gives? That was a truth."
"The slab demands a truth about yourself," Celestia said.
"I've never killed anyone," he said. He paused for a moment, then added, "It's still not satisfied. What else does it want from me?"
"It must be a truth you have never spoken before."
Discord stood up, chair clattering to the floor behind him.
"You didn't mention that when we started."
Celestia smiled at him. "Oops."
Discord clenched the table so hard he scratched it with his claw.
"I was meant to be a creature of order," he said. "To understand all who live upon the planet, and unite them. I believed in that purpose once. Until one day, I traveled through dimensions. I took a shortcut through a realm of pure chaos. It made more sense to me than anything else I had ever known. At that moment, I turned my back on my purpose, and I don't regret it."
Discord shuddered. He glared at Celestia.
"You are the only one who knows this," he said. "You understand I cannot allow you to live." His eyes were cold in a way Celestia had never seen them before.
"If you kill me before completing the game, you will be forced to tell the truth for the rest of your life," Celestia lied. "The secret you just shared with me will be known to any who ask you."
He loomed over her for a while, then the chair Discord had knocked over stood up on its own. He took a seat and crossed his legs.
"Very well. I wasn't planning on letting you leave alive, anyway. It would be quite the bragging right to have you as my first kill."
Celestia shuffled the cards.
"Something created you for a purpose?" she asked.
Discord didn't say anything.
"Who made you, I wonder? And what did they want from you?"
Discord scowled.
"Does your creator consider you a failure, or a success? Have you entertained the idea that you're doing exactly what they want? That you're being used?"
If looks could kill, Celestia would be dead.
She drew two cards. Three of spades and seven of clubs. She placed the three in front of Discord.
"I reject this," he said. He swapped the cards and flipped them face up. He didn't react to his victory this time.
The slab filled in the third hole for Celestia. Her mind was on the lie she had just told him, and she reached for anything else.
"I should hate you. You've destroyed my realm, made my subjects suffer, and kidnapped my sister, to name only a few of the many atrocities you've committed. But I cannot bring myself to despise you. When I speak to you, there is something I understand. It is like you are all my worst fears, come to life. There's a relief to knowing the monster exists. It means you can slay it."
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Is that what I am? A monster for you to slay? How childish. I don't exist for you. I live for myself."
"I pity you, because I understand you," said Celestia. "I have been tempted to turn before, and I resisted it. Clearly, you're weaker than I am to succumb to such depths, to abandon your purpose."
She expected him to scream, maybe throw a tantrum. Instead, he cocked his head like a cat.
"You wish you could be me, don't you?" he asked.
Celestia didn't respond.
"Hm," he said as he picked up the deck. "You want me to convince you I'm right. That what I'm doing is best for everyone. You wish you could be on my side."
"Not quite," she said.
Discord dealt the cards without looking, yet again. "Don't be coy. You already told me you desire to be a tyrant."
"I may want to, in my weaker moments, but I can't."
"Why?"
"I must believe I'm doing the right thing, and I have yet to find a convincing argument that you're correct."
Discord shook his head. "Chaos can't be argued. You either get it or you don't. Make up your mind about your card so we can end this."
"I reject it," she said. She swapped the cards and turned them over.
Hers was the queen of clubs.
His was the two of diamonds.
Discord leaned forward as if he were eager to speak another truth.
"I took over Equestria because I didn't know what else to do. I had seen the beauty of chaos, but I had no way to share it with others. So I had to make them see. I do believe that someday everyone will understand. Their eyes will open and they'll embrace chaos like a long lost friend. It's only natural that they'll catch on eventually. Because if they don't, then I'm wrong, and I refuse to consider that possibility."
"That's a mistake," said Celestia. "No matter how sure you are, you must allow yourself to entertain the possibility that you're wrong."
"Chaos is my life. If it's incorrect, then I have nothing. Therefore, it must be correct."
"That's not how logic works."
Discord shrugged. "Who cares?"
"You do, clearly."
Celestia shuffled the cards.
"If you didn't care," she said, "It wouldn't have been your truth."
"The only thing that matters is luck," said Discord, inelegantly changing the subject. "Look at the slab."
It showed that Celestia had spoken three truths, and Discord two.
"You've been trying so hard, and I'm beating you with dumb luck. That's the truth. No matter what you do, your fate is out of your control. There is no rhyme or reason. Life is chaos."
"You're right," said Celestia.
Discord leaned back in his chair. Then he leaned forward.
"What did you just say?"
"You're right," Celestia repeated, "Life is chaos."
Discord looked as Celestia as if she had burst into flames. "If you agree with me about that, then why are you resisting me? What could possibly be keeping you going?"
"There are things in this world that are worth striving for, even if they are impossible. World peace, eternal contentment, and complete understanding are all unattainable. That doesn't mean we should stop trying to attain them. In working towards those goals, we improve ourselves and the world. Even if they will never come to pass, the work is not wasted."
"Striving for the impossible doesn't make any sense."
"Look who's talking," Celestia said. "It can't be argued. You either get it or you don't."
She dealt the top two cards from the deck without looking at them.
"Choose."
Discord took a full minute to respond.
"I accept."
He flipped his card.
Four of diamonds.
Celestia flipped hers.
Four of spades.
"What happens now?" asked Discord.
"The slab will decide."
The slab blinked red for a moment. Then it filled in the fourth dot for Celestia at the same time as Discord's third.
Discord laughed so loud the walls echoed his voice in such a way it seemed as if it came from all directions at once.
"Perfect!" he proclaimed. "What a beautiful ending. The slab decided that you lose from a tie. How fitting."
Celestia could feel the truth of the sun within her, longing to escape. She held onto it, delaying the inevitable, even if it was pointless.
"Poor Celestia. It would seem that trying to achieve the impossible is a bad idea. Who would have thought? I'll speak my truth first, so we can save the best for last. Luna's here, in this room. That window isn't a window. Behind it is your sister. Don't worry, she can't hear us. The secret of the sun will be safe with me."
He gave the window a wave. The view of the mountains melted like wax, revealing Luna in a dark chamber, chained to the floor behind thick glass.
And just like that, Celestia had hope.
She shot an arcane blast at Discord. He dodged it easily. The projectile smashed into the glass separating Luna from the room, shattering it to the floor.
"Well, isn't someone a sore loser?" Discord said. "You shouldn't take it out on the poor window. It didn't do anything wrong."
Celestia turned her back on Discord. "There's another truth I'd like to tell you, before you hear of the sun."
"I don't care," he said. "This has gone on long enough."
Celestia closed her eyes, and used her magic to pick up her saddlebag. She threw it at Luna.
She turned around. He still faced her. Hopefully, that meant he didn't realize her horn had glowed, or that the bag had moved.
"Once, there were two mice who fell into a bucket of milk."
This stopped Discord in his tracks. She knew it would intrigue him.
"Neither mouse could swim. The first mouse thought to itself that there was no escape. It would struggle, but ultimately drown. So, it came to the logical conclusion that it should give up. It stopped fighting for its life, and let itself die.
"The second mouse was too busy panicking to have such rational thoughts. It struggled for as long as it could, until its body was about to give out. Then, at the moment it was about to lose all strength, the milk had churned into butter. The struggles of the second mouse had changed the world around it, in a way it couldn't possibly understand.
"So the rational mouse died, and the mouse that didn't bother thinking about its chances lived."
Discord had stood glued to the floor for the entire story. When she stopped, it was like he woke up from a trance.
"How did you say that?" he asked. "That's clearly a parable. Technically a lie. Shouldn't you explode?"
"The slab isn't omniscent," she said. "It doesn't know if what you say is actually true. Only if you believe it."
Discord scowled. "Even when forced to tell the truth, you manage to lie. It would be impressive if it weren't so cowardly. Come, princess. You've delayed long enough. Tell me how to raise the sun."
"The sun must rise every day, with the help of—" she shut her mouth. She hadn't intended those words to tumble out.
Discord stood in front of her face. "Best to hurry this along, dear. I have chaos to attend to."
The sensation of fighting against magically compelled truth is like trying not to sneeze after inhaling a bottle of hot sauce. She could hold it in for now, but it was only a matter of time.
Discord towered over Celestia. "As much fun as it would be to see you explode, controlling the sun would be useful. I beat you, fair and square. You can't back out now. Chaos will spread, and everyone will learn that it's the true nature of the world. It cannot be fought against, and thinking you can is the utmost—"
Something blasted Discord from behind, and he fell to the floor.
Luna hovered in the air, holding the bag in her mouth. She ripped it in half and tossed part of it to Celestia. She caught it, and put the strap around her neck.
That way, each of them had three of the gemstones sown on the bag. They needed to split the burden to control The Elements of Harmony.
Celestia and Luna unleashed their full power upon Discord before he had time to react. She heard him scream, and when the lightshow was over he had turned into stone.
Luna landed next to Celestia. "What a strange power this is," she said. "We expected our foe to be vaporized. No matter. We can always—"
She looked at Celestia, who struggled to stay standing.
"The sun must rise every day," she said, as she stumbled away from the statue. He might still be able to hear her in there. She couldn't risk him discovering the secret.
Luna followed her.
"What is this?" she asked.
Celestia managed as much distance from Discord as she could before collapsing.
Then she told Luna how to control the sun.
Once the truth escaped her, relief washed over her like a cool wave. It was over. She'd escaped the fate of the slab on a technicality. Discord would be proud. Or angry. Probably angry.
Luna stared at Celestia, wide-eyed. "Sister, why wouldst thou... oh no. Did thou use The Slab of Four Truths?"
Celestia nodded. "It's no matter. I'm safe now."
"Sister, it projects weakness when thou neglects the royal we."
"Of course. We knew not what we were thinking."
Now that she didn't feel the pressure of the slab, Celestia noticed that the room had turned into the royal garden. They'd been outside this whole time. Trapping Discord had made his illusions disappear. The scenery had returned to normal, as if the years of his reign had never happened.
Of course, the damage he'd done extended far beyond the Canterlot castle. It would take time for the realm to fully recover.
"We must organize our subjects," said Celestia. "Ensure that his influence is truly gone."
"We agree. Though first, we should kill him," said Luna.
"What?"
"Discord is stone, but he still lives. We will smash the statue, and end him for good."
"No," said Celestia.
Luna gave her sister a look. "Hast thou already forgotten the horror of his reign? Come now, we know thou hast killed for lesser offenses. His life is forfeit. Thou art well within thine rights to end him."
Celestia paused and gathered her words.
"We know not if he can prove useful to us."
Luna scoffed. "Useful? Him?"
"We don't know the true nature of his power. It could prove detrimental for him to die. Perhaps it would damage the realm. Patience, sister. There is no reason to throw caution to the wind."
"Very well. He will live, for now." Luna hesitated, then looked into Celestia's eyes. "We must say, though... we swear not to abuse thine trust. The secret of the sun is safe. We promise."
"Thank you, sister."
Luna spread her wings. "We shall gather the soldiers. Hopefully they are in fighting shape. There's much work to be done, cleaning up his mess."
Luna flew away without a proper goodbye. Celestia sighed. Lately, her sister had been irritable. She hoped the stress of Discord's reign hadn't changed her.
Her sister didn't seem to buy the excuse Celestia had given to keep Discord alive. She must think of a better one for the next time the subject came up. Luna wouldn't understand the truth.
She approached the statue of Discord. Funny, it looked as if he'd posed for the transformation. His body was artistically arranged to be pleasing to the eye.
She didn't know if he could see her. Though she had created the elements, their true nature eluded her. It seemed as if she had been using them wrong, though she had no idea how to fix it.
When she looked at him, she saw her worst impulses come to life. If she followed her darkest thoughts to their conclusion, this is who she would become.
She wondered if that would be so bad.
The thought terrified her, as it always did. Hopefully, nothing would convince her to follow that path, but she couldn't be sure. The possibility stuck to her and wouldn't let go, like a parasite.
The Princess took a deep breath. She had yet to be turned. She was still worthy of ruling the realm.
At the moment.
She picked up The Slab of Four Truths. She'd need to store it in the vault, if it hadn't been ransacked in her absence. It would be just like Discord to spread dangerous magical objects all throughout the land.
She faced the statue, looking into its eyes.
"You won the game, and lost anyway," said Celestia. "Tell me, is it because life is chaos, or because I believed in the impossible?"
The statue didn't respond.
Celestia smiled.
"Both, then."
