The Love Bug

by Baal Bunny

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Princess Cadance, Adventure
Length: 4818

Waking uneasily one morning, Cadance can't quite put her hoof on why she feels something's wrong. Fortunately, her wife, in bed beside her, is happy to help her investigate.

Waking uneasily one morning, Cadance can't quite put her hoof on why she feels something's wrong. Fortunately, her wife, in bed beside her, is happy to help her investigate.

My entry in the 175th Writeoff contest, "Unstable Relationships," the original version of this story took 2nd place. It's been expanded since its appearance there.

Published 2020-11-25 18:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-11-25 18:40:01 UTC

The Love Bug

The morning sunlight from the bedroom window crept slowly across the ceiling's gold inlay. Cadance watched it and didn't want to think what she was thinking, didn't want to give voice to the feelings rustling through her. But—

Lolling her head sideways on her pillow, she asked, "Is it just me, or is something off today?"

"How so?" Twilight looked over from the book she was reading, and Cadance had to smile. More often than not, it seemed, she went to sleep watching Twilight read and woke to the same sight the next morning.

Her smile faltered. Because for all that she remembered very clearly every terrifying and wonderful moment with Twilight—being her foalsitter, meeting her at school some years later after she'd skipped so many grades that they were now classmates, their friendship leading to their courtship and their wedding, the changeling invasion, the reappearance of the Crystal Empire, their battle against Sombra, their coronation as Crystal Princess and Consort, the work they'd done to help the crystal ponies adjust to life in the modern world, doing their parts against Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow—this didn't seem...right.

"I don't know," she had to admit. Her face getting hot, she reached out and touched Twilight's flank, some small part of her expecting that her hoof would pass right through or that she would suddenly awaken to find somepony else in bed beside her. "I'm just feeling like...like the world's...unbalanced..."

"All right, then." Twilight set the book on the nightstand. "We've both learned not to discount your feelings." Taking Cadance's hoof between both of hers, she kissed it. "So what do you need me to do?"

The heat of her embarrassment changed to a much sweeter warmth, and Cadance stretched her neck so she could touch Twilight's lips with her own. "Just be your usual wonderful, beautiful, devastatingly intelligent self."

Twilight half closed her eyes. "I think I can manage that," she murmured before leaning forward to initiate a much deeper kiss.

Cadance's heart fluttered the way it always did when Twilight got assertive like this—

Except that Twilight had never gotten assertive like this because Twilight shouldn't even be here kissing her and—!

With a gasp, Cadance pulled back, her magic flaring uncontrollably and popping her across the room, her wings spread and her feathers bristling.

The warmth inside her burst into the prickliest sort of heat, and Cadance tried to find some words, some way of explaining herself to Twilight, still blinking at her from the bed. But since she couldn't explain herself to herself, all Cadance could do for a long, long moment was blink back.

"All right, then," Twilight said into the silence. "I guess we might as well get started."

"I'm sorry!" Cadance blurted. "I...I don't know what—"

"It's all right, Cay." Pushing aside the blankets with her hornglow, Twilight rolled out of bed onto all fours and padded across the carpet to her closet. "This certainly isn't the strangest thing we've ever—"

"Your wings." Shock made Cadance whisper it. Because Twilight's wings were gone.

Except that Twilight had never had wings! How could she? She was a unicorn, not a pegasus and certainly not an—

"My what?" Twilight looked over her shoulder, her magic continuing to pull on the ceremonial silver and gold flanchard and peytral she wore as Captain of the Crystal Guard and Consort to the Crystal Princess.

Except—

"Nothing." Shaking her head did exactly that—nothing—to dispel the jagged uneasiness growing inside her. "I...I'll go notify Sunburst that we'll be away for the rest of the day and possibly longer."

"Away?" With a final click, Twilight turned, the sight of her in full regalia always making Cadance feel better about everything. "You think this is something outside the Empire?"

It took some effort to tear her gaze away from Twilight, from how very, very right and very, very wrong she looked. "It's big, Twily." She had to swallow to clear the roughness from her voice. "Really big."

Twilight gave a crisp nod. "All right. I'll tell Flash Sentry to activate the Guard and send word to have the royal coach attached to the next train."

"Could we—?" Part of Cadance stuttered at the idea, sure that she and Twilight had never done anything like what she as thinking. But the rest of her knew that they had, so she pushed on. "Could we teleport? The sooner we get this settled, I think, the better."

That got Twilight ears perking. "Shall we say Ponyville first to check on Discord and see if Starlight's noticed anything, then up to Canterlot to ask the princess?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Cadance just nodded.

"All right," Twilight said again. "I'll talk to Sentry, you talk to Sunburst, and we'll meet back here in fifteen minutes."

It took some more effort for Cadance not to run to the palace dining room.

Fortunately, Sunburst was there as always, his mane and beard as always perfectly coiffed, the chancellor's pendent shining as always from the chain around his neck. "Your Highness," he said as always, rising from his coffee and granola. He always insisted on calling her by her title the first time he saw her every day, but then he was fine with 'Cadance' after that.

Except—

Flailing out with her magic, Cadance grabbed a basket of muffins. "Emergency protocol one, Sunburst: Twilight's informing Commander Sentry right now. Hopefully we'll be back before nightfall, but you have my full authority until we return."

Sunburst's eyes went wide behind his glasses, but he asked the way he was supposed to, "And the code of the day, ma'am?"

"Persimmon." Several quick bites of muffin helped settle her a bit. "As near as we can tell, the threat's unspecific and non-localized. Just put out word that Twily and I are visiting the princess in Canterlot and keep alert."

His ears dropped just a bit. "You and Twilight be careful, Cadance."

Flipping her mane, Cadance gave a laugh she didn't feel. "Well, maybe just this once." But as soon as she was back in the hallway, she pulled the muffin basket to her chest and flapped as quickly as she could to their chambers.

She managed to suck down two more muffins before a crackle of light in the center of the room dissipated to show Twilight. "Everything set?" she asked.

Cadance nodded and levitated the basket over to her. "You'd better get some food in you."

Twilight smiled and plucked a muffin with a waver of her own magic. "Why? You're the engine here: I'm just navigating."

Despite everything, Cadance had to return her smile. They'd found early in their relationship that, with Twilight's knowledge of magic backed by Cadance's raw alicorn power, they could pretty much do anything they set out to try. Including teleport halfway across Equestria...

Except—

Not allowing her inner shaking to show, she sniffed with mock indignation and snatched the basket back. "Yes, I'm used to being the work horse around here."

When she was wearing her barding, Twilight's little giggle was the cutest thing Cadance had ever even been able to imagine. "You can't fool me," Twilight said, closing her eyes partway again. "You love being big spoon."

Cadance's wings twitched with the impulse to swoop over, scoop Twilight up, deposit them both in the bed so close and so beckoning, and forget all this whatever it was.

Except—

The blue of her magic grabbed her saddlebags; she pulled them from the rack beside the door and settled them across her back. "Let's go."

One last swallow finished off the muffin, then Twilight turned away from her. "Any time you're ready."

Her face doing some more heating up, Cadance spread her wings, swooped over, and scooped Twilight into a hover, her wife's back fitting perfectly against her chest and stomach even with the armor. Leaning forward, she touched the tip of her longer horn to Twilight's, almost gasped the way she did every time at the sensation of Twilight's magic wrapping over her, around her, and through her.

Except—

Eyes sliding closed, Cadance pushed her doubts away, surrendered to Twilight's touch, and everything shifted: the temperature, the air pressure, the angle and intensity of the sunlight against her eyelids, the scents all woods and grass after the drier aromas of home.

Opening her eyes, she saw Ponyville below them—it was always safer, they'd discovered, to do these really long-range transports while airborne to keep from getting tangled up in rocks or buildings or anything.

The town looked normal, something that usually proved to be deceiving. Ponies were setting up the market in the town square to their left, the cupcake-shaped building at the south end of the square showing a lot of traffic in and out. Without even thinking, Cadance curved her wings and glided them that way.

"Well, now!" a countrified accent called as Cadance brought them in for a landing. "Princess Cadance and Twilight Sparkle!" A cider-colored earth pony harnessed to an apple cart stopped and touched the brim of her hat—Applejack was her name, in fact, if Cadance was remembering rightly. "Been a right while! What're y'all doing in town?"

Since Twilight was shifting her armor back into position, Cadance gave a little laugh and a little shrug. "Oh, this and that," she said in the ditzy voice she'd used in school whenever she'd wanted ponies to dismiss her as an airhead: that the act had never fooled Twilight was one of the many reasons they'd gotten together despite the difference in their ages.

Except—

Cadance cleared her throat. "I don't suppose you've noticed anything weird going on this morning?"

Applejack tapped her chin. "Nothing's jumped out at me." She glanced over her shoulder and called back to a large red earth pony stallion hauling a bigger apple cart with a little blue pegasus mare wearing a Wonderbolts' flight jacket drifting along beside him, the two giggling and nuzzling each other. "You love birds seen anything peculiar so far today?"

"Nnnope," the earth pony said.

The pegasus—Rainbow Dash, the mane and the tail and the jacket reminded Cadance—just smirked. "I wouldn't call what I saw peculiar since I find it waiting for me just about every morning." She nudged the stallion. "I'd say breath-taking might be a better word."

The stallion somehow turned even redder.

All Cadance's muscles were tightening, rooting her to the ground. Beside her, though, she could almost hear the clatter of Applejack's eyes rolling. "Sorry, Princess." Applejack nodded toward the bakery. "Course, if you're looking for peculiar..."

Cadance couldn't loosen her jaw enough to answer.

Twilight did, though, a smile pulling her lips but not going any further. "Exactly." She bowed more than a little stiffly. "Thank you for your time this morning, Applejack, and I hope that we'll see you again soon."

"Sure thing, Twilight, ma'am." Applejack touched her hat again, then leaned toward Cadance. "And I ain't exactly complaining, Your Highness, but if you had something that'd tone them two newlyweds down just a mite"—she nodded toward Rainbow Dash and the stallion, still moving along through their gazes were locked on each other—"I wouldn't mind you sending it out to the Acres." She gave a low laugh and started pulling her cart after the others.

The love flooding the air buoyed Cadance enough to take another breath, but the edges of the emotion seemed too scratchy, too lumpy, too frayed, almost as if—

As if they're supposed to be in love with other ponies?

The ringing of a bell interrupted the thought, made her turn to see Twilight pushing the door open and stepping into Sugarcube Corner.

"Well, now!" The voice saying it this time made Cadance think of a helium balloon. "If this doesn't take the cake! And it does 'cause you two are gonna be taking some of our cake!"

A pink blur flashed past, and Cadance found that her magic had somehow activated and was holding a small plate with a slice of cake on it. "Special for visiting princesses!" The pink blur froze in front of Twilight and became Pinkie Pie, a name Cadance knew without even having to think about it. "And princess consorts, too," Pinkie said, reaching past the plate of cake floating in front of a startled Twilight to tap her nose with a hoof. "'Cause I know the proper terminology is cru-cru-crucial!"

"Umm," Twilight said. "Thank you, Pinkie. That...that's very kind of you." She leaned forward, took a bite of cake, and brightened considerably. "Oh, wow! This is incredible!"

Pinkie was hopping up and down in place. "Isn't it? My snookie-wookums puts his special sorta magic into everything he bakes!"

Twilight's eyes went wide, and she stopped chewing. "Discord baked this?"

Cadance gave another phony laugh. "What a coincidence! He's exactly who we came to see!"

"Hooray!" Pinkie shouted, but then her face was suddenly clenched and shoved directly into Cadance's. "Unless you're here trying to pin something on him," she muttered, and while Cadance had never imagined a helium balloon could sound threatening, Pinkie definitely did. "'Cause I won't stand by and let my snookie-wookums get railroaded!"

"No!" Cadance managed to gasp. "We...we're just here to consult with him about something that might or might not be happening!"

And Pinkie was back to hopping. "All right-o rooty, then!" She swept a hoof past the line of ponies waiting at the front counter, and Cadance saw Discord in a baker's hat merrily tapping away at the cash register. "Snookie-wookums!" Pinkie called. "Trade places in three, two—"

"One!" Discord shouted, appearing in a puff of smoke where Pinkie had been standing, and now that he was closer, Cadance could tell that it was a large mushroom sprouting from the space between his antlers rather than a baker's hat.

"Whoo-hoo!" Pinkie shouted, across the room behind the cash register.

Discord blew her a kiss, then turned with a big, snaggle-toothed smile and pressed his lion paw and eagle talons together. "Now, ladies, what can I do for you?"

Cadance stared up at him, her insides feeling like she'd swallowed multiple bowling pins as well as the ball that was knocking them over.

Beside her, she heard Twilight clearing her throat. "Cadance and I are looking for your professional opinion as a spirit of chaos."

"Well, now!" A big purple bow tie with yellow spots sprouted around his neck. "I'll finally get to add 'consultant' to my resume!"

"Yes." Twilight cleared her throat again, Cadance struggling to breathe around the jagged chunks of love—or something like it—careening invisibly and insubstantially through the air. "Cadance seems to think the world's experiencing an imbalance. We know it's not you doing it, let me hasten to say: your behavior since Princess Celestia and Princess Luna retired has been exemplary, and nopony who's seen you around Pinkie Pie could doubt the truth of your reformation. But we were wondering if you've noticed anything out of the ordinary this morning."

"Ordinary?" Discord's mouth went sideways, and his bow tie vanished with a pop. "Perhaps you don't understand, Mrs. Sprackle—"

"Sparkle," Twilight said.

"Whatever." At a snap of his claws, the walls of the shop turned transparent, ponies, griffins, reformed changelings, even a few dragons and minotaurs strolling through the streets. "This, you see, is Ponyville. Ordinary stops at the city limits."

"Well, now!" The fourth voice to say those words in the past few minutes sent Cadance spinning. Two ponies were looking up and down along the see-through walls, a white unicorn and a light yellow pegasus, the two of them wearing dresses that complimented each other so well, even if Cadance hadn't been able to sense the love flowing between them, she would've known they were a couple.

Except—

"Really, Pinkie!" the unicorn was saying with a slow grin. "If you were going to redecorate the shop, you might've consulted with—"

"Sorry!" Cadance lurched sideways, grabbed Twilight, and leaped for the doorway. "We've got to—! We can't—! There's something—!" Flapping over the startled unicorn and ducking pegasus, she hefted Twilight to her chest and broke for the open sky.

"Cadance?" Twilight asked, her voice in Cadance's ears understandably a bit shaky.

"Canterlot Tower!" The words wanted to come out as a scream, but Cadance managed to keep a partial lid on it. "Right now!"

"But..." Raising a hoof, Twilight gestured to the School of Friendship, spreading along its hillside beside the princess's old palace. "Starlight Glimmer's the princess's former student, and it seems likely that she'll be less busy than—"

"Canterlot Tower!" It was much closer to a scream this time; Cadance wanted to take a deep breath, but she was panting too heavily for that. "Please!" She bent forward to touch her horn to Twilight's.

The familiar rush of Twilight's magic whooshed through her—

Except—

—and the alabaster marble of the throne room in Canterlot shut out the sky, the sound and scent of flowing water trying to soothe Cadance with its ambiance.

Except—

On the throne, the princess's wings shot out, feathers of red and orange and yellow matching her mane. "What the—? Cadance? Twilight? What's going on?"

"Hi, Sunset," Twilight said, her voice tight. "Sorry about barging in, but—"

The throne room door burst open, and a white unicorn stallion in full palace armor charged through. "Nopony move! I—" He stopped, blinked, and his mouth went sideways. "Okay, is this a 'Twilynanas' situation?"

Cadance felt Twilight shrug. "Honest, Shiny, It's not me this time."

The princess vanished in a gout of fire and reappeared beside the stallion. "It's all right, honey," she said, stroking a wing across the stallion's side—

The stallion. Shining Armor. Twilight's brother. Captain of the Canterlot Guard and Royal Consort, married to...to—

Princess Sunset stepped forward, one wingtip still resting on Shining Armor's shoulder. "Cadance?" she asked, everything about her radiating concern. "You look like you could use a nice cup of tea, huh? How about we go into the—"

The happy gurgle of a foal rang out from nowhere, and a light orange alicorn filly appeared hovering behind Sunset Shimmer and Shining Armor.

No. No, no, no, no—

An instant later, a blue unicorn mare with a magic wand as her cutie mark and an annoyed expression on her face popped in beside the child. "Luster!" the unicorn more barked than said. "You can't go teleporting off like that! What—?" The unicorn's eyes went wide, glancing around as if realizing suddenly where she was. "Your Highness! I don't know what's got into Luster Dawn! She just started—" Her eyes narrowed this time. "Oh. Her aunts are here. No wonder she's become unruly."

"No," Cadance heard herself saying out loud. "No, no, no, no, no!" Each repetition, she noticed, was getting louder and louder, her insides squeezing tighter and tighter, the air bellowing in and out of her lungs and growing hotter and hotter.

Every eye around her was wide and staring, and as much as Cadance wanted to blast them all, force them to stop whatever terrible game they thought they were playing—

She couldn't because none of them was doing it. The ebb and flow of emotions in the room, the feelings of friendship, the familial bonds, the love everywhere both general and specific, she could tell it was real. It was just the way it swirled up and down and around everypony that was wrong.

So it had to be an outside force acting on them.

Clenching her teeth, she let her rage at the lies and the deceit bubble and build, a pink haze crackling and swirling faster and faster with her at the epicenter, everypony else frozen like insects in amber. "Show yourself!" she shrieked, and she let fly all the power of honesty and devotion, of love and truth and right, cracked the very space ahead of her with a black jagged fissure—

Out of which dropped something about half the size of a pony's head, something black and red with too many legs, a pair of antennae waving frantically. "All right! All right!" the thing yelled in a surprisingly deep voice. "I give up! You win! You win!"

The redness flashed from its back and spread into a glowing mist that covered everything till it all disappeared: Twilight, the other ponies, the throne room. Cadance found herself surrounded by a circular wall of red smoke with the bug thing about five paces ahead of her. "I...win?" She couldn't keep the words steady. "Win what?"

"I know, I know." Wings unfolded from the thing's back—was it a giant sort of ladybug?—and it rose buzzing into the air. "It was a one-sided contest since I didn't tell you about it, but as the challenger, I felt I needed the element of surprise."

Cadance was almost entirely sure that her brain had begun physically twitching. "Contest?"

"Oh, yeah." The bug spoke with so much bass, the whole weird place rumbled, and it flew up to hover in front her, its red wings humming and flashing a heart shape behind it. "The Princess of Love versus the Love Bug. A battle for the ages."

"Love Bug?" Every hair on Cadance's body bristled. "Some kind of changeling, you mean?"

"Please." The bug waved two legs on its left side. "Those wanna-bes?" It gave a low chuckle. "Or maybe I should spell it with two 'e's, huh? 'Cause they're nothing, not even insects, not now, not ever." It crooked a front leg to point at itself. "I'm the Original Gangster of Love, the only real competition you're ever gonna have."

"Competition?" Cadance's confusion was slowly tightening back into anger. "What are you talking about?"

"Am I gonna hafta spell it out for you?" It made a 'tsk-tsk' sound, which seemed odd since, as far as Cadance could tell, it didn't have a tongue. "You can't truly be as clueless as that, Your Highness."

But with the thing floating right in front of her, Cadance could see it now, could see the way the love emanating from all the ponies and non-ponies around her had been pinched and folded, bent out of shape and twisted, all the distortions leading right back to this bug. "However you did this," she forced out through clenched teeth, "you will undo it. Right now!"

"Really?" The bug gave a twirl, and the throne room faded back in, everypony still frozen behind the Love Bug's red glow. "You don't love your sweet little Twilight anymore?"

Cadance looked at Twilight, at Shining Armor and the alicorn filly, her heart twinging in three completely different ways. "I love them all," she whispered. "Just...not like this."

"Well?" The bug's deep voice settled over her as smooth as silk. "With life and love, variety's the spice. How d'you know everypony everywhere doesn't like things better this way?"

She spun, the bug pulling back just before she could smack it with her horn. "Because this isn't right! This isn't natural! This is something you manipulated into existence! Love, real love, is all about choice and consent and an understanding that develops between ponies! And besides!" She stomped a hoof with the force of a thunderclap to blow away the mist curling around her fetlocks. "You said I won! Which means you put it back the way it was, and you put it back right now!"

The weird black feelers of its face seemed to cant sideways. "Even though you can't remember what it was like? Even though it might be worse than this?"

"Even though." She began taking slow steps toward the thing, her head slightly lowered so she could blast it if she needed to.

The bug drifted around, up, down, and sideways so it was never quite where Cadance was aiming. "Oh, Princess, Princess, Princess. You were afraid you might react like this."

Cadance swallowed, the bug's almost-hypnotic voice and motion letting the fog of confusion start creeping back over her. "What?" she asked.

"When you summoned me and asked me to remake the world this way." It touched a foreleg to its chest. "After all, you don't think a poor little creature like me would be powerful enough to affect alicorns on his own, do you?" That 'tsk-tsk' sound came from it again. "Life had become so unbearable for you, you said, that you couldn't think of any other way out but to change everything and start over fresh."

Every fiber of Cadance's entire being revolted at the thought. "But...but you said this was a contest! One you didn't tell me about so you'd have the element of surprise!"

More sweeping movements from the bug, its tone so deep and gentle and easy to listen to. "That's the cover story we agreed on if you somehow broke my spell." It sighed. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to stick to it, but, well, I've just never been a very good liar, I'm afraid."

"Liar?" The word sparked inside Cadance, made her suck in a breath. "Except you're lying right now. Everything you've said so far has been a lie."

Its antennae shot up with a shiver. "Princess, I—"

She stomped again, chased the fog from her head and hooves with another thunderous crash. "I would never cancel out other ponies' relationships that way no matter how awful my own circumstance might be! It...it's monstrous!" Taking a step toward the bug, she let lightning start crackling along her horn. "Maybe I don't remember what the world was like, but I know what I'm like!"

The bug's movements had become a good deal less smooth. "Princess, I—"

With a second step forward, Cadance fired: not a big blast, but enough of a bolt to flash and slash through the red mist. She wasn't aiming at the bug, either, sending the bolt well off to its left so she wouldn't risk injuring it.

Still, it gave a buzzing little cry, its voice suddenly about an octave higher, its motion now seemingly concentrated on drifting away from her. "What're you doing? You can't—!"

"Put it back." She took another step toward it, then another. "Whatever you changed, you'll fix it back to the way it was."

It moved jerkily backward, its compound eyes somehow seeming to narrow and glare at her. "Typical!" Everything about it became whiny and sneering. "You can dish it out, baby girl, but you can't take it!"

Gritting her teeth, Cadance kept her gaze and her horn focused on that thin black body, its wings flashing faster and faster. Every time it tried darting to the side, though, Cadance let loose another lightning bolt just ahead of it, corralling the thing so that it's only available path was straight back and away from her.

"Princess of Love!" it hissed. "Despot's more like it! Someone else comes along who's just as good as you at manipulating the sexier emotions, and you get all huffy! You're a hypocrite and a—!"

"I help ponies!" Cadance fired another volley of electrical discharges into the mist above, below, and to each side of the creature. "I see what's hidden in their hearts and work with them to understand what it is they truly want when it comes to love! You just turn them into puppets, forcing them to feel what you want them to feel!"

Making a dash backwards, the bug smacked up against the throne room wall that Cadance had been aiming it toward, its antennae splaying out and its wings scraping the stone.

"End of the line, Bug." Cadance didn't try to keep the growl out of her voice. "However things were, that's the way they happened, so that's the way they're supposed to be. So you put them back, or I'll crack you open like I did the spell you were hiding behind." She touched the tip of her horn to its midsection and pushed it hard into the wall, its wings clattering to a stop. "Or maybe I'll just call Discord and tell him what you've been up to. I mean, yes, I'm angry, but him?" She pressed just a little harder. "He's been known to get downright unreasonable now and again."

The bug's obsidian eyes widened, and it gave a high-pitched "Eeep!"

"So." Refusing to entertain a single doubt, Cadance took a breath. "Every other creature but you and I is about to wake up again in his or her correct bed with his or her correct memories and no recollection at all of this incident. You and I, however, will remember it all and will be standing right here in the throne room where we can have a little chat with whoever the actual princess is." She could feel the ichor in the thing's body pulsing and jittering through the contact with her horn. "Is that understood?"

"Yes'm," it squeaked. It spread its legs, and everything around Cadance flashed with a light as pure and clear as true love itself.