The Misfortune of Clover the Clever

When Ret next opened her eyes, she found herself alone in a dark room. While her surroundings started to induce a sense of panic, it fortunately only lasted as long as it took for her to recognize the bed she found herself laying on.

"I'm home?" She wondered aloud. "When did I fall asleep?"

Ret pushed herself up, only to have her unsteady legs refuse to hold her weight. She unceremoniously collapsed back to bed. Fortunately, it was soft enough to protect her from such a rough fall.

"It was just after the execution," came the answer to her question. She followed its source to find Sirius sitting by her bedside, his face looking even more grave than it had earlier that day. "You collapsed shortly after you left the stage. Don't worry," he said. "Not many saw you, and we managed to get you to safety before it made a scene."

She relaxed a bit upon hearing that. Even with the grand spectacle she had put on, it wouldn't help her position to have everyone see their fearless leader collapse due to a weakness of the flesh.

"What about..." She asked instead, unable to fully voice her concerns. She was still just so tired.

"Everything's been taken care of," Sirius reassured her. "The body has been disposed of and the head delivered back to the enemy encampment. I saw to it personally."

"Personally?" Ret's eyes widened at the implications of what he was saying. "Surely you didn't... They could've killed you."

"I know," he said. "If I'm being honest, I expected them to."

"Then why did you..." Ret started.

"It's my fault you were hurt," he said as he turned to face her. His eyes were glistening in the moonlight, like he had either just been crying or was about to. "I'm the one that pushed for the delegation, and I'm the one that didn't pay close enough attention to what they were doing while they were here. It's only right that I shoulder some of the responsibility."

"Sirius..." She said, realizing how much he must've been tormenting himself over this. Ret scooted closer to him, even though that small amount of effort left her feeling worn. She reached out and laid one of her hooves on his own, noticing for a moment how cold he felt beneath her touch. A testament to how long he must've been waiting by her bedside.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened," she said. "We live in troubling times. Any day could be our last, but we survived this one, and that's what's important."

Ret expected him to calm down, it wasn't the first time she used those same words to reassure someone, however in this case, it didn't seem to work, not even in the slightest. It was as if there was something much bigger bothering him. There was only one thing Ret could think of, and while part of her didn't want to know, she knew she needed to.

"The Elysian camp," She asked. "What are we up against?"

The question had apparently been the right one, because in that moment, she watched Sirius' pupils shrink down to the size of pinpricks. "We..." He started, the words seeming difficult for him to utter. "We can't possibly survive. I've never seen so many unicorns in one place, and all prepared for combat. There must've been one, neigh, two thousand of them. There was also a lot of their pegasus chariots, so not even the skies will be safe. But the worst part..." His face once again became sunken as words failed him. Whatever he had seen had obviously left him terrified. "...was her."

"Her?" Ret tilted her head at the way Sirius said that. She always knew him to be a timid pony, but she had never seen him so scared before.

"The one leading them," he continued, "she seemed to delight in showing off her army, and didn't once look like she possessed anything resembling a conscious."

Ret put her hooves around him and pulled him close. She could feel how much he was trembling within her grasp.

"I... I thought I was going to die," said Sirius, "but what scared me the most was the fear of never seeing you again."

Sirius then returned the gesture, his own hooves finding their way around Ret's back. She could feel his warm tears begin to dampen her shoulder as he held her tight. "I..." He started to say.

Ret's heart skipped a beat as he started speaking. Was he finally going to say it? She had been waiting for so long to hear those three little words from him, and she wasn't going to have to wait any longer.

"I love you, Ret," he said as he squeezed her even tighter.

Ret felt the breath she hadn't known she was holding escape her lips. She could feel Sirius' heart pounding in his chest, but that didn't compare to the butterflies that now wreaked havoc on her stomach. She was sure she knew how it would feel when he finally confessed to her, but she never imagined it would feel anywhere near this intense. She never imagined what it would feel like to want nothing more than to melt into another pony's embrace. Part of her believed she was above such mortal failings, but as it turned out, she was just a mare after all.

"I love you, too, Sirius," she said as happy tears leaked from her own eyes. Whatever the circumstances that brought them to this moment, they were here now, and emotions that had been pent up for far too long on both sides were finally allowed to roam free.

Ret pulled back for a moment, just enough to look Sirius in the eyes. He had also done the same and was now looking at her as well. He didn't need to be prompted further, taking the next step as he leaned back in for his lips to meet her own. If she thought she was going to melt before, Ret was well on her way to turning into a full puddle now. His breath overtook her own, warming her chest, and his tongue pushed in as she felt him embrace her very being. Her very soul.

Oh how her desires began to flood her senses, desires than that been pushed down and suppressed for far too long. She wanted him, and she knew in her heart that he felt the same way. A small part of her was beginning to feel impatient, especially after having waited for him for so long, while the greater part of her wanted to take her time and relish every moment. However, she was no longer the only one who was a part of this, and she was sure that Sirius would do what came natural when he was ready.

Sirius pulled away, breaking off the contact, and Ret already found herself missing the closeness. "Ret," he said, and she was once again feeling weak in the knees at hearing him say her name. "Let's run away together. Just you and me. Tonight."

At first, Ret's brain didn't quite register what he had said, she had been too busy riding that special cloud meant for just the two of them, but as his words sunk in, the butterflies that had occupied her stomach now made way for a large boulder.

"I... What?" She said, unable to believe what he had just asked of her.

"I'm serious," Sirius said, a hint of desperation in his voice. "Elysium will surely break down our walls at any time. If we leave now, we can be gone before anyone thinks to look for us."

The warm feeling Ret had just been enjoying now felt like a distant dream. Slowly, regretfully, she loosened her grip on him and gradually pulled herself away. "I can't do that," she said. "Not after everything we've built here."

"But..." Sirius stammered, "you'll die."

"If I die, then I die," she said, fresh tears running down her face. These tears weren't shed for her people or for Sirius, but for herself. Shed because she had allowed herself to love this stallion for so long, only to have him want to do nothing but run when staring doom in the face. She pushed him away with the meager amount of strength she could muster, the fleeting warmth she had enjoyed now only left room for bitterness.

"Ret?..." Sirius started to say.

"Leave me," Ret commanded, her ire beginning to build.

Sirius knew better than to question her when she used that tone, so he made no attempt to press her further. That's not to say he didn't have a disappointed look in his eyes as he picked himself off from her bed and made his way to the door.

Ret didn't once look away from him until the door had completely closed. The moment it had, she collapsed into her pillow and held it over her face as she let out muffled and frustrated screams. His suggestion had tempted her for the briefest of moments, but she knew in her heart she could never do something like that. She couldn't just abandon everyone in their time of greatest need. Her conscience wouldn't allow it.

She stayed like that, crying into her pillow until her tears had run dry, and even then, she continued to weep until her wounded heart and battered body demanded she sleep once again.