A dragons fears

by redsopine

Rating: teen
Tags: Ocellus, Smolder, Suicide / Self Harm, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Gallus, Sad, Silverstream, Drama
Length: 9461

Smolder's concerns about gallus was proven correct now she's worried about his future

After the night Gallus had a breakdown and Smolder stopped him from hurting himself she's been on edge and worried about him even more.

(Edited by the amazing summer script himself thanks man you both inspired me to write 2 fics and are a great help)

(the suicide tag is for the subject matter being discussed in the first chapter and is from events in first fic before this one)

(PS its highly recommended you read both the bonds of love by summer script and the bonds of love what if i writ to understand what happens in this fully)

Published 2020-12-17 13:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-16 22:23:57 UTC

A dragons fears revealed

Author's Note

No matter how much he denies it with all his amazing proofreading and editorial work and for creating the fic that inspired the 2 I’ve written mr summer script has honery do author status your a amazing writer and friend aloso theres gonna be more chapters

A dragons fears revealed

Smolder took a deep breath and began writing, Dear, Diary…

I’m not exactly sure where I should begin. To be honest, I’m not even sure why I’m writing this! But I guess I need to express this stuff somehow, right? At least, that’s what Starlight says I should do…

That said, if you’re reading this then I’m guessing you went snooping through my horde. Which you had better not be doing, Ocellus!

Smolder sneered at what she had just written, disgusted by how paranoid it sounded. After scratching it out, she continued,It all started a few months ago, after Friends and Family Day. Ocellus and I sorta noticed something was wrong when Gallus randomly spaced out while we were talking to him. And then we met up with Sandbar and Yona who said he freaked out on them too! And then… And then Silver told us what happened.

Smolder breathed slowly, calming her nerves and adjusting her tail to a more comfortable position. She then stretched her wings and claws before continuing to write, I was worried. Worried that he wasn’t okay… Worried that he was just lying again when he said he was… I wanted to believe he was getting better, but I couldn’t shake this nagging doubt that he wasn’t.

Smolder paused, watching the candlelight reflect across her orange scales as she swallowed nervously.

Of course, like Tartarus was I going to just do nothing! So,I started reading everything and anything I could on psychology, trying to understand how to help him.

And for a time, he looked like he was getting better! He even joined the drama club; although I heard discord tried messing with him on his first day. He’s lucky Silverstream got to him first; otherwise, I would have mailed him to the Dragon Lands, using that letter trick Spike taught me. I’m not sure if that would’ve worked, but a girl can dream! And that jerk deserves getting dumped in a volcano after the stunt he pulled with those three nutjobs!

Smolder stopped herself, taking a deep, shaky breath. A small teardrop hit the page before she could stop it. She then grunted and wiped her eyes, resuming writing.

He really looked happy after that… And then he even kept working with Ocellus on that magic thing of hers! I don’t know the slightest bit about how it works, but Gallus must be pretty damn smart if he gets it.

But after a while, I noticed something. I noticed how you started looking at him, Ocellus. You were falling for him, weren’t you? I flaming hate romances, but I’ve seen enough to know what that sparkly-eyed look of yours meant!

But I wanted to keep it from him,so he wasn’t put under even more pressure! I mean, he already has enough problems to deal with! He didn’t need a possible fight with Silverstream hanging over him too! Especially since Silverstream told me she was just as paranoid that he wasn’t okay as I was! … I probably shouldn’t have shouted at her. Not when we’re both determined to help him.

Smolder paused again to dip her quill into some ink. She then stretched a cramp out of her claws and warmed them up with a little flame.

After a while,my fears faded a bit, so we started hanging out again. But it was always there though. Still,I was starting to get over my worries! That was until a few nights ago when you—Yes, you, Ocellus! I know you’re reading this, you little sneak!—decided to tell him how you feel and kissed him! And then it all came back even stronger! And then Silverstream caught you too! And then you all started fighting! And all I could do was just stand there while Silver ran off, and Gallus—

Smolder slammed her diary shut just as another set of tears escaped and fell onto the cover. “This so stupid…” she sighed, casually tossing the book onto her already cluttered desk.

Her gaze then wandered over the ocean of psychology books that still surrounded her, and after an intense mental deliberation, Smolder groaned wearily. “Don’t do it, Smolder! It is way too late for this crud!” she decided, climbing into bed. “I’ll just figure out what to do in the morning!”

…

Smolder slowly turned her gaze toward her door, staring in the direction of a certain somegriff’s bedroom. Gulping fearfully, she rolled over and faced her wall, praying that all of her friends would be there tomorrow.

“That’s the last thing Smolder wrote in here,” Ocellus said, shutting Smolder's Diary and placing it carefully on her bed as Sandbar and Yona looked at Gallus with a mixture of fear and worry.

“Gallus, Smolder wrote what happened that night, but… Then she just cuts off after saying your name,” Ocellus muttered.

“Seriously!?” Gallus asked, gulping nervously. “She didn’t say anything else!?”

Ocellus just shook her head.

In the ominous silence that followed, Sandbar cast another glance over the hoarded books surrounding them. He then focused his gaze on particular book titled: How to Help the Struggling: A Guide to Preventing—

“Gallus?" Sandbar spoke up, tearing his gaze away from the book, unable to even finish reading the book's title in his head. Wh-What did you do that left her so scared she couldn’t say it?” he asked, knowing and dreading the answer.

“Why the peck does what happened weeks ago matter it’s not even related to the matter-at-talon we have to find out where Smolder went and Why she was so upset!”

“Look at the books she has been reading!” Sandbar protested, gesturing around the room. “They’re all about helping creatures with serious issues!”

“Okay, thank you for pointing out the obvious, Sandbar!” Gallus groaned, sliding a talon down his face in irritation. “Care to elaborate why that has anything to do with why Smolder ran off!?”

“Silverstream said Smolder’s been freaking out over whether you were okay or not! A-And then there’s the fact she just cuts off...? She wrote literally everything else down, but not what you did!?” he groaned, frowning worriedly.

“And that matters, why!?”

“STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU!” Silverstream shouted, glaring at Gallus through glistening eyes. “Don’t you try to avoid this, Gallus! I remember what you said to Smolder that night!” she declared, watching as Gallus paled. “How you apparently thought you were better off dead!?”

“Wait, what!?” Sandbar exclaimed, grimacing in horror. “When was this!?”

“You were asleep,” Ocellus explained. “And now that Silver’s brought it up…? You never did explain why Smolder gave you that black eye,” she added warily.

“Okay! Really wishing I had been told about this sooner!” he whined. Sandbar then shook his head clear, declaring, “But, regardless! Gallus, look!? With what you said that night, what Smolder wrote down about that night, and…this!” he stated, glaring sorrowfully at the books around them all.

“And how afraid she was you’d get hurt a-and…?” Silver stopped talking, unable to say the last word.

“Gallus…?” Yona finally spoke up, staring at him pleadingly. “What did friend do?”

“I-I… I…” Gallus rapidly shifted his gaze between each of them, slowly stepping back as he worked to come with a suitable explanation. “I-I didn’t do anything!” he tried lying.

“No, Gallus!” Sandbar yelped, barely controlling either the anger or the fear in his voice. “You don’t get to avoid us this time! What! Did! You! Do!?”

“Nothing!” Gallus shouted, flaring his wings instinctively. “I obviously did nothing! See!? I’m right here!” he shrieked, forcing a strained smile.

“Gallus? Please don’t lie,” Silver practically begged. “Not now…!”

“I’m not— I can’t— I didn’t mean to—” Gallus stuttered, incapable of lying to Silver. To any of them. “I-I was just upset and seeing—saying! Things!” he corrected, flinching when every last one of them clearly caught his slip-up. “I really wasn’t going to do anything!”

“That’s bullshit! And you know it, Gallus! Or did you forget what you shouted before giving me this!” Ocellus said as her right cheek glowed a faint green flame, dropping her illusion and revealing a small scar.

"Y-You still have that!?" Gallus muttered, thoroughly disgusted with himself.

“Ocellus told friends that cut healed!" Yona squealed, flinching at the changeling's discolored chitin.

“Wait your saying Gallus gave you that cut but you told me and Smolder you caught yourself on a nail as you ran past it you lied to us why?”

Silverstream asks confused

Ocellus ignores all three of them, shrieking, “And then you considered doing something so stupid that Smolder actually had to hit you to stop you!"

“No! I wasn’t considering anything! I-I was just upset— I wasn’t thinking— Cozy only—” Realizing what he just said, Gallus stopped and shut his eyes while the room went deathly silent. “Aw, peck,” he groaned, hanging his head low.

“You saw that bitch Cozy Glow again!?”

“It was just for a second, okay, Sandy!?” he answered, flinching when Silverstream held onto a nearby book pile in an effort to not collapse completely. “She hasn’t shown up for months, a-and—”

“STOP LYING, GALLUS Please...! Please stop lying!” Silverstream begged,pulling Gallus into a tight hug and crying into his chest plume.

Too dumbstruck by the situation and absolutely unwilling to lie to Silverstream, Gallus simply wrapped his talons around her, hanging his head. “Why-why does it matter what happened that night...?" he muttered in a low, sorrowful tone. "Why does everyone even care!? I'm- I'm still here! And all I’ve done is caused you all grief and pain!" he chuckled darkly, tearing up. “Why ... Why did Smolder even stop me?"

As Gallus spoke, he failed to notice Silverstream's growing look of horror or Sandbar's building fury.

Once the full meaning behind his words registered with all of them, Sandbar trotted over to Gallus from his free side, slapping a hoof across his beak before joining Silverstream in hugging their friend.

“It matters to all of us," Sandbar whispered to Gallus, pain evident in his voice. "We’re not just friends, Gallus! After all we been though? We’re family... We're family, Gallus!" he repeated, holding the griffon even closer. "I've already almost lost my family once when Sombra took over Ponyville! I-" Sandbar paused, catching his breath and finishing, "Do you have any idea how you doing something like that would have affected all of us!?”

“I- I'm-" Gallus sniffled, whimpering, "I'm sorry! I-It was only the one time! I wasn't even serious about it! I swear!"

“One time too many, Gallus," Yona mumbled, shaking her head slowly.

"But I'm better now! I really am!" he proclaimed truthfully.

Sandbar shot a look at Ocellus who nodded slightly, lighting up her horn and sighed, disappointed. Before Sandbar could freak out over her reaction, she explained, "Everything's too muddled; I can't tell if it's genuine. Tch! Even now my spell can't solve anything!" she growled, angrily stomping a hoof.

Sandbar just nodded slowly, turning back to Gallus. "Gallus? I told you once that I would believe you were fine if you said that you were."

"But you don't? Do you?" Gallus guessed forlornly.

He shook his head, stating, "No, I do. I believe you're okay! But if you actually considered..." Sandbar's voice hitched at the last word. "If you actually considered that...!? No. That wasn't okay! But, dude!? We're here for you! We are going to help you! Okay!? We are going to help you just like we're going to help Smolder! No more lies! Nor more hiding! You! Are getting! Help!" Sandbar asserted resolutely. "Understood."

Gallus shared a glance with Silverstream, seeing only a silent plea reflected in her sparkling eyes. He then looked back at Gallus, blinking away his own tears as he nodded silently.

“Good!" Sandbar whispered, leaning back into the embrace as Yona and Ocellus both joined in.

The group sat like that for what could very well have been a quarter of an hour, but soon, the frantic clattering of hooves echoed down the hallway, growing louder with each step.

“What the hay is that?" Sandbar muttered as the group broke apart.

His answer came in the form of a heavily distraught Vellum Codex, covered in mud and twigs, barging into their room. "There you are!" he wheezed, unable to scream properly.

While Vellum worked to regain his breath, a purple cockatrice soon flew into the room from behind him, perching on Silver's outstretched talon.

“Edith!?" she asked, receiving a happy caw from the cockatrice in response.

“Yes, that's your cockatrice friend! But more importantly, yes! We found her!" Vellum announced, still panting heavily. "We found her! And as you can probably guess...? She's at the Treehouse. Aghhh! Sweet Celestia! How does Professor Dash do it!?" he melodramatically bemoaned, slumping onto the floor and holding a hoof to his chest.

Smolders flight

Author's Note

This chapters going to be a smolder pov in first person so i hope its not confusing also 2 lines here are in fact one line from the brilliant summer scripts bonds of love chapter 8 used with permission

Smolders flight

Keep flying. It doesn’t matter where, just keep flying! I tell myself, blinking past tears as I fly through a stray cloud hovering just above the Everfree Forest.

“You can’t even admit it!? Tch! You know… I was happy for you two! I thought that you were good for each other,” I remember saying regardless of the shock upon her face at the time.

“Shut up!” I snarl to myself, trying in vain to shut out the echoes of what had just happened.

Unfortunately, my mind has other plans and continues to replay that stupid moment when I yelled my own fears at Silverstream and blaming her.

“But, no! You’re not! You want to know what kind of friend you are!? You’re the friend that’s willing to let Gallus go out to war and—”

I give my head a good shake and rebuke, Just stop it, Smolder! Stop thinking about it! Stop thinking about it!I repeat, hoping it would work.

It didn’t.

As cloudy as my vision is from the tears I desperately try to hold back, Silverstream’s face is practically burned into my gaze. The disbelief… The fear…

Silverstream didn’t know, did she? I recognize now, only after having thoroughly screamed at her. Gallus didn’t tell her! He didn’t tell any of them! He hid it all again!

That’s the last straw for me, and I decide to let the world know it by pausing in the air and letting out as loud a roar as I could, breathing a massive blast at fire toward the sky as I did so.

While the plume safely dissipates into the air, I pant heavily and shake my head clear once more. I’m not sure what it is, but something stirs in my mind and compels me to keep flying. Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was fear. Maybe I’m just crazy.

Heh. Yeah. That’s probably it, I grumble to myself, following that compulsion’s heed. By the Scepter! What kind of a friend, am I!? I knew what was wrong, and they didn’t! And I still yelled at them! At her…

“Aughhh, I really did make everything worse!” I whimper, still unable to stop my eyes from crying. Well, this certainly explains why she and Ocellus were so mad at me for punching him… I tell myself, trying to find a bright side.

I don't find a bright side. What I do find is a memory.

I think back to after we left Headmare Starlight’s office and how once we were out of earshot, they both rounded on me, demanding answers.

“Why did you punch him, Smolder!?” Silverstream had practically screamed that day. “It’s bad enough you’re still avoiding him; what possible reason do you have for hitting him!?”

“And why were you there to begin with!?” Ocellus had inquired afterward. “Your room is at the far end of the hallway! How did you even hear us!?”

I remember how scared I was. How… How I could barely even move, knowing full-well what I had heard Gallus say. Knowing what he had considered doing…

I guess it was only fitting that I couldn’t answer. W-Why would I answer!? Why would I ever acknowledge what I saw as real!? It— It couldn’t have been real! It couldn’t have!

Gallus is Gallus. He’s my friend. He… Gallus wouldn’t think like that…! He couldn’t! It was just a nightmare! That’s what that night was! It had to have been!

Ocellus didn’t actually kiss Gallus! Ocellus didn’t actually fall in love with Gallus! They’re just friends!

Gallus and Silverstream didn’t actually nearly break-up! Gallus and Silverstream didn’t actually get angry at each other! They love each other!

I didn’t actually hurt Gallus! I could never hurt Gallus! I could never hurt any of my friends!

That whole night was just… It was just a bad dream!

It was just a nightmare.

But it wasn’t, was it?

Because if it was…? Then why am I still having it?

“Hey! Equestria to Smolder!” Silverstream had said, snapping her talon in front of my snout and snapping me out of my then-musings. “Are you listening it us?”

“I-I, uh, I’m…”

I remember not having any words. For them. For anyone… I couldn’t— I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Headmare Starlight the truth!

And, of course, before I could so much as try to think of an explanation, I noticed the cut.

“Ocellus!? Y-You’re bleeding! How did that happen!?”

Ocellus had tried her hardest to hide the flinch—she really did! But I still caught it. “Please don’t try to change the subject! I accidentally cut my cheek on a loose nail earlier; it has nothing to do with what happened!”

“Speaking of which,”Silver had spoken up next. “Well? Do you have an explanation, Smolder?”

I couldn’t tell them. I couldn’t! Not back then! Not now! And not ever! I just…couldn’t.

“Fine!”I remember practically snarling.“If you really want to know, I was coming over to apologize for avoiding Gallus! But when I got there, you three were a little bit busy yelling at each other!”

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I felt just a sliver of satisfaction upon seeing them wince. I felt even more satisfaction when I marched right past them and back to my dormitory, locking myself within its confines and collapsing against the door and ignoring whatever they tried saying through the door and so they couldn’t see my tears as one thought runs through my head.

Why just why did I have to be right

Drying my eyes I start to mutter to myself as I move towards the horde of books in my room.

I mean… Why would I care what they were saying anyway!? I know what I’m doing! I’m trying to help Gallus! They just— They just made things worse!

I say picking up a book and thinking to myself.

My fear is not overshadowing my love!

I am not paranoid!

I am not afraid!

I am a dragon!

I am a dragon…!

I am a… A…

“LEAVE! ME! ALONE!”echoes from my memories along with the image of Silverstream’s horrified face.

I scared my friend.

“By the Scepter, I’m a horrible friend!”, I say out loud wiping away another batch of tears.

The next thing I knew was a world of pain as I crashed snout-first into a tree trunk, letting out a sharp yelp. Thrown off-balance, I recklessly flare my wings, only catching them on other branches, and the end result was that I utterly fail to save myself from falling.

Note to self: Closing your eyes while flying is not a good idea.

With a loud thud, I hit the ground and grunt in pain. Once I finish blinking away the flashing dots in my vision, I take a minute to sit and catch my breath, focusing on the effort to do so in order to avoid thinking about anything else.

After some time, I huff out a cloud of smoke and impatiently try to get up. It, uh, wasn't my best idea because I immediately lower myself back against the ground, muttering, "Nope, nope, nope! Eenope!"

I can still feel and move my wings, but there's no way I'm flying anytime soon. Probably sprained them again. Yeah. Because I didn't have enough problems already.

Not wanting to think about my current pain any longer than I have to, I instead turn my gaze upward and stare at the beautiful sky above.

So many stars.

So many comets.

So many planets!

I wonder how old they are. Thousands of years? Millions? Trillions!? How many of them existed before Princess Luna began watching over them? How many of them will exist after she stops?

How many of them used to exist before, but now…don’t?

How many stars faded away before I could see them?

How many stars will I see fade away?

How many friends will I see—

“No, no, no! NO!” I scream, frantically standing back up and flinging myself at the tree that I had smashed into.

“Stop thinking about it!” I yell, kicking the accursed plant as hard as I could.

“Stop thinking about it!” I yell again, kicking it again but leaving not a single mark.

“Stop! Thinking! About it!” I yell one final time, intending to kick it one more time before giving up halfway through.

Before I even realize it, I slump against the tree, taking sharp, pained breaths as I desperately try to hold back the crying.

I am a dragon!

I don’t cry!

I don’t feel fear!

I don’t feel alone!

I don’t…

I…

I am a dragon…

Almost instinctively, I raise a claw to my snout and wipe away a thin stream of blood.

“Wonderful,” I grumble. I then turn to the dress I still have wrapped around me.

Beautiful. Elegant. Adorable. Such is the work of Yona.

And now it’s torn along the edges, and right down the wings slits.

Any other time, I’d be beside myself with fury, but now…? All I can do is stare at it forlornly. I can’t even bring myself to feel angry.

It’s all too much.

The hurt on Silver’s face. The confusion on everycreature else’s. His stupid costume.

It’s all just too much for me, and I fall back onto the ground, shutting my eyes and letting out a quiet sob.

Eventually, that strange compulsion from earlier makes a return, far stronger than before. Far too strong for me to even try ignoring it.

On its whim, I open my eyes and sit up. I then slowly turn to the side and gape at the sight before me.

The Treehouse.

Is it just me or… Is it shining brighter than it usually does? Almost…invitingly. I don’t know; maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. And yet…?

Something very, very loud roars from deep within the forest behind me, snapping me out of whatever daze I had just been in. Needless to say, I hurriedly rise back up and turn my terrified gaze out into the direction the roar came from.

...

...

...

Nothing.

No glowering eyes. No quiet snarls. Not even a twig snapping.

Of course, while that might be a small comfort, I am far from relieved and slowly turn back to the Treehouse.

Just the mere sight of it is enough to help calm my breathing, and upon laying eyes on it, that weird urge from before immediately returns.

I spare the Everfree one last glance before swiftly making my way toward the Treehouse.

I'm not sure how, but... I know I'll be safe there. From both the monsters lurking in this forest, and maybe—just maybe—from the paranoid thoughts of my own mind.

A talk between a dragon and a tree

Author's Note

First part before the talk all goes to the amazing summer script

A talk between a dragon and a tree

Another roar echoes through the air as I hurriedly rush through the doors of the Treehouse, slamming them shut behind me.

My breath comes out in short, pained gasps as I slowly turn around and lean against the doors. I immediately realize my mistake and leap forward, yelping at the shock that went down my wings.

“Okay! Okay…! Your wings are still sprained, Smolder! Your wings are still sprained!” I repeat to myself, suppressing an agonized shiver. I chance a glance back at the door and gasp in shock at the bloody clawprint I had left behind.

“No, no, no!” I mutter in a panic, quickly cleaning it up. Afterward, I glance at my claws and notice the blood I had wiped away from my snout still clung to them.

I groan and rub them clean on my already ruined dress. “This stupid night can’t get any worse!” I shriek, unsure if I wanted to let out another blast of flame or give up and finally break down crying.

Soon, the image of my bloody claws fades from my vision, and I take a moment to look around myself, panting heavily as I fight to regain my breath.

Yep. The Treehouse is still just as beautiful as it always is. Although? I could swear that the room looks bigger now…? I don’t know how, but it does.

You know? One of these days I’m gonna finally snap and just ask Ocellus how the Tree’s magic works. Of course, that requires I actually talk to Ocellus which, um…no.

I shake that thought out of my head and carefully examine my wings. “No swelling, so that’s good. Eugh…! That’s a nasty color,” I observe, grimacing at the splotch of purple crawling along my left wing. “Yep. Definitely not flying anytime soon.”

Maybe I could try finding Zecora…? Nope. Nope. With all that roaring outside, I ain’t trekking through the Everfree anytime soon!

Besides! I should be able to start flying again by morning! … I think.

“Great,” I grumble, rubbing my tired eyes. “Gonna have to camp here for the night. That’s just great.”

I then walk further into the Treehouse, gazing longingly at all the magnificent gemstones until my stomach gives a low growl. As humiliated as I feel about that, I’m not too mad since nocreature was around to hear it. That said, I really should have eaten more at the party.

A light giggle echoes in the air, and I swiftly turn around only to see nothing. “W-What was that?” I wonder openly, casting a suspicious glance across the crystalline walls.

Something moves in my periphery, and I instantly turn toward it and spot the staircase leading to the second floor. … Wait, was that staircase always there? I thought it was in the other room?

Okay, I must have hit my head harder than I thought. Maaaybe, I should go lie down?

For a split second, the urge that led me to the Treehouse flares up again, but it quickly fades away once I step toward the newly moved structure.

Cautiously, I begin marching up the stairway, keeping my wings folded against my back so as to not catch on the walls. Once I’m halfway up, I stop and look to the side.

Reflected back at me in the crystalline wall is nothing more than myself. By the Scepter, I’m a mess. My dress is ruined, my makeup is running; my eyes are bloodshot…!

The longer I stare at myself, the worse I feel, but I can’t muster the strength to look away.

Eventually, I let out a weary sigh and scowl miserably, wondering if I should just plop myself down on the stairs and go to sleep here. Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time I slept on a staircase, I joke to myself, not feeling better in the slightest.

Just before I decide to use the stairs as an impromptu bed, I notice something flicker within the crystals. I then reach out and place my claw against the wall, leaning closer for a better look, but as soon as I do, a lavender light shoots out from behind my reflection and continues up the stairway.

“What the…!?” I mutter, following after it. Once I reach the second landing, I look around through all the rooms but find nothing.

Eventually, I stride onto the balcony, shivering when the chilly air brushes against my sore wings. The pain soon passes, and I quietly ponder, “What in the world was that?”

My answer comes in the form a soft knock.

“Huh!?” I gasp, looking in every direction for the source of the sound. Luckily, the noise repeats, and I hone in on it, turning my gaze to the floor.

Somehow! Someway! Princess Twilight Sparkle’s form reflects back to me, standing upright on the opposite side of the floor. She then greets me with a small wave and a casual, “Hello, Smolder.”

Holding up my claws defensively, I hurriedly take several steps back and growl, “W-What’s going on!?”

“Oops! My apologies,” it says, smiling shyly. “I didn’t intend to frighten you; I simply wanted to try a new method of appearance. One moment please!” it requests in Twilight’s voice.

The image then steps forward and seemingly rotates out of its side of the floor and onto mine, stopping a respectable distance from me.

Its appearance is a dead ringer for the Princess of Friendship, from the starburst cutie mark to the large, feathery wings. The only notable difference is that its body glitters as if composed of thousands of diamonds and floats just an inch off the ground.

Regardless, there’s no denying who it is I’m seeing.

“Y-You’re… You’re…!?”

“The Tree of Harmony! At your service,” it confirms, giggling as it bows politely.

My knees quiver so much that I almost fall to them, but I barely manage to stay standing as I whimper, “Y-Y-You really are alive!? I-I thought that Sombra…!?”

The Spirit of the Tree places its hooves back on the ground and gives me a somber smile. “Though I know it likely won’t comfort you, I will confess that he nearly succeeded.”

“But you’re alive!? Y-You’re here!?” I acknowledge, stepping closer to the sparkling apparition. “Right?”

“That I am!” it adamantly assures. “For all the mindless terror that King Sombra spread, he could never hope to quell the embers of Friendship. Hee-hee,” it titters. “And guess just what managed to resurrect me?”

“‘Resurrect’!? You mean you did die!?”

The Spirit blinks, conceding, “Mmm? Perhaps I misspoke. For that I apologize. ‘Resurrection’ is not the correct word. ‘Reincarnation’ is decidedly more appropriate.”

It taps the crystal floor, sending waves of color dancing along its prismatic surface and throughout the entire Treehouse. “Through the bonds of love you and your friends share, my body was reincarnated into this form,” it explains calmly. It then giggles again and finishes, “So, while the body is different, the Spirit remains!”

But you did die, I can’t bring myself to argue. I out-lived you! I out-lived the Tree of Harmony! I realize, feeling my whole body tremble as my breath freezes in my chest.

The Tree’s smile dies instantly and is replaced by a mournful frown. “Smolder?” it murmurs.

I don’t know what to say, let alone what to think! All I know is that at least one of my friends is still here, and with that news in my mind, I lunge for the Spirit and pull it into a crushing hug.

“You’re alive!” I rejoiced, trying desperately to hold back my tears. They spill out anyway, but at this point I don’t care as I’m too busy repeating, “You’re alive! You’re really alive!”

I feel a pair of hooves tenderly wrap around me, hugging me back. The moment said hooves touch my wings, I immediately sigh in relief as the pain in the appendages subsides significantly.

“Yes, I am alive,” it confirms, moving to pull out of the embrace.

I grip the Spirit even tighter, keeping it from leaving me.

Although surprised at first, the Spirit of the Tree smiles sadly and goes back to hugging me gently, whispering, “I am alive, Smolder; it’s okay… You’re safe here. You’re safe here,” it promises.

I just let out another quiet sob, and wrap my healed wings around my friend, holding them even closer. “Don’t go…! Please don’t go!”

By the Scepter, I sound pathetic.

I think to myself as I grip the spirit tighter.

“I won’t,” the Spirit soothes as it wrapped its own wings around me. “I’ve wanted to talk with you for a while now… I can certainly wait a little longer if you’re not yet ready.”

I nod and continue crying into the Spirit’s shoulder.

I don’t know how long I spend crying, but eventually, I stop and wipe my eyes dry. And although I want so badly to keep holding the Spirit, I slowly let go anyway, keeping my eyes locked on the ground.

“I’m— I’m sorry,” I apologize weakly. “I’m sorry!”

A hoof raises my chin back up to meet the eyes of Princess Twilight, but it’s the Tree’s voice that soothes, “You need not apologize for seeking comfort from your distress. I am more than willing to aid you, my friend,” it promises with a smile.

My distress? I ponder, feeling my claws clench instinctively. I don’t— I’m not the one who needs comfort! I want to scream despite my throat feeling dry as a desert. I shouldn’t need comfort… Everything should be okay. We should all be okay! He should be okay!

I let out yet another pathetic sob, and once again, the Spirit’s hoof gently wipes my tears away.

“I reiterate,” it begins calmly. “Do not feel guilty for desiring solace. You deserve serenity just as much as your friends do; do not believe otherwise.”

A part of me wants to argue, but I can’t bring myself to do so. I just feel so tired… Heh. Maybe I should have fallen asleep on the staircase, I suppose, coughing slightly.

“Would you care for you some water?” the Tree inquires.

“That, uh…” I clear my throat again. “That would be nice. If— If it’s not too much trouble,” I add, rubbing my shoulder self-consciously.

“It’s no trouble at all,” it reassures, tapping a hoof against the floor. A pool of light forms at the point of impact, and from it's depths emerges a crystalline cup filled to the brim with water.

“W-Whoa. That’s nifty,” I comment, gratefully accepting the drink. After taking a large sip of the cooling liquid, I bashfully add, “I, uh, didn’t know there was a kitchen in here. Or a bathroom,” I end, feeling a little awkward at still not knowing where all the rooms in the Treehouse were.

“I don’t,” the Tree nonchalantly divulges. “I’ve been meaning to install both those facilities inside these walls, but it’s been a bit slow-going so far. Rearranging the rooms and expanding the halls are easy enough, but…” It laughs nervously and concludes, “Piping is a fair bit more complicated than roots.”

“Says the ancient, god tree,” I counter, unable to suppress a smile.

“I wouldn’t call myself a ‘god,’” the Tree argues, smiling as well. “I’m merely a tree. Er? Treehouse, I suppose.”

“Oh? Is that what you are, huh?”

“Well? I suppose I am a fair bit more…? ‘Unique,’” it settled for. “Than most other treehouses. But beyond that, the only other thing that I claim to be is your friend.”

I strain to keep the smile on my face as I mutter, “I’m glad your my friend…”

I couldn’t sound any more pathetic if I tried.

As if on cue, the Spirit places a hoof on my shoulder, promising, “You are not pathetic, Smolder.”

I blink in surprise, but realization swiftly dawns on me. “You just read my mind, didn’t you?” I guess, frowning angrily.

“Yes. I… I see that it makes you uncomfortable,” the Tree acknowledges, looking away ashamedly.

It does. But I don’t say that. I don’t even know what I can say. What should I say? Everything I’ve said or done so far tonight has just made everything worse.

By the Scepter…! What am I gonna do when I get back to the School!? W-What am I going to do when I see her—When I see all of them!?

“I am sorry, Smolder.”

I’m completely blindsided by the Tree’s words, but I quickly recollect myself and ask, “W-What?”

I know I’m technically talking to the Tree of Harmony, but I almost gag when I see the face of my ex-Headmare turn back to me, marred by what I can only describe as pain.

“I am sorry,” the Tree repeats morosely. “I…cannot solve your problems. Nor can I assuage your heartache.”

Oh. That’s what the Tree means.

“N-Nahhh!” I groan, forcing as confident a grin as I can. “You don’t need to apologize for that! Heh-heh. Besides, I’m fine! No problem here…”

“You are afraid of yourself, Smolder,” it just has to say. “Or more specifically, the part of yourself that—”

I step away from the Spirit, barking, “I’m fine! I’m not— I’m not afraid of anything, okay!? I-I’m not!”

I am. But I just… I just don’t want to admit it. I can’t admit it. I can’t even think about! By the Scepter, I don’t want to think about it! I just want everything to be normal again, but— But— It can never be normal again, can it!?

The Tree reaches out with a hoof, but after a moment, it quietly places it back down. “This is what I mean when I say cannot solve your problems.”

“I said don’t worry about it!” I growl, flinching back at the anger in my tone. “The only problem I’ve got is…” For a full minute, I struggle to think of something to finish that sentence with. “The only problem I’ve got is that I, er, need to bake some, uh, a-apology muffins…?” I finally manage to squeak out.

…

I face-claw, letting out quiet swear as I do.

Mercifully, the Tree doesn’t reprimand me for my cussing and instead acknowledges, “That is not your only problem, Smolder.”

…

“I know,” I whisper, whipping my tail anxiously.

A somber silence falls across the gemstone walls of the Treehouse of Harmony, but soon, it’s Spirit resumes, “This is why I cannot call myself a ‘god.’”

It steps closer and continues, “I can grant you safety from the monsters of the Everfree. I can mend the injuries you’ve sustained within the hour,” it adds, rubbing a comforting hoof over my thankfully healed wings. “And? I can be a comforting presence in your time of strife…” the Tree concludes, bringing me into a warm hug that I quickly reciprocate.

“But I cannot soothe the fears that grasp your heart,” it bemoans, leaning back to give me that same pained look from a moment ago. “That task belongs to another.”

“I have no idea what that means,” I bluntly confess. Immediately after saying that, I pull the Tree back into the hug, whimpering, “But I don’t care! I-I’m just h-happy you’re alive! A-And that you’re here!”

“I am here. Smolder? I. Am. Here,” the Tree promises, hugging me back. “Your friends will be here too.”

“N-Not for long,” I sob, barely holding myself back from having a full breakdown.

“But they will still be with you.”

But not forever, I think, refusing to say that aloud.

In fact? I don’t say anything aloud. There is nothing more I want to say because if I did say anything else, I’d have to… I’d have to say it. But I don’t want to say it! I don’t want to admit I’m afraid! I don’t want to talk about what I’m afraid of! I just… I don’t.

So, like usual, I just keep saying nothing. I just keep holding the Tree as close as I can. I just shut my eyes, drown out the world, and cry into its shoulder.

There’s nothing else I can do.

“It will be okay, Smolder,” it says, falling silent as it soothingly rubs my back once more.

A few minutes pass as the Tree of Harmony continues holding the dragon, but soon, it shifts its gaze downward upon feeling the presence of three ponies and a cockatrice enter into the floor below.

The Tree then sends a small pulse of light throughout the Treehouse, and it eventually passes over the students.

It took a quite a bit of “convincing,” but Shimmy Shake ultimately agrees to not rush up the stairs in a mad quest to find and comfort Smolder.

And much to the Tree’s gratitude, both Vellum Codex and Strawberry Scoop were already planning exactly what it wanted them to do. And soon after catching his breath, Vellum and Edith quickly rush back out into the Everfree Forest, leaving the remaining two mares to sit and await for his return.

After ensuring that his path would be unobstructed, the Tree returns its attention to Smolder, giving her one last reassuring squeeze before pulling away.

“Smolder?” it begins calmly. “Please look at me.”

It takes a second for me to register the Tree’s voice, so I quickly wipe both my eyes and my snout, snapping out of whatever daze I had just been in. Sniffling, I then look up back up and meet Twilight Sparkle’s kind, violet eyes.

I never realized how much I missed those eyes, I think to myself. By the Scepter, I miss my old Headmare. She would know what to do, wouldn’t she? But? So would the Tree of Harmony. A-And it said that it…doesn’t. So then…

“What am I supposed to do?” I mewl, feeling my wings sag in despair.

The Tree takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Smolder, I have said it once, but it bears repeating… I cannot bring you the serenity you deserve.”

Translation: You will be alone, and there’s nothing I, you, or anyone else can do about it.

“But,” the Tree continues right before I completely snap. “Despite this, I can still help, however little.”

“O-Okay. Wh-What can I do then?”

“Simple. Do not hide away your heart, Smolder,” it advises, smiling reassuringly. “I am here, and I am listening. So please, Smolder… Please talk to me.”

“But I don’t— I don’t want to talk about this,” I whimper as much to myself as to the Tree. “I-I don’t. I just— I don’t!” I cry, voice cracking.

The Tree gives me the single most pitying stare that I’ve ever seen in my life. “I understand,” it says softly, holding a hoof to its heart. “Speaking about one’s problems is not as easy as many might think.”

I sniffle again.

“In fact?” it continues. “It is one of the most painful things a creature can do. To speak of one’s pain is to acknowledge that the pain is there. And to recognize and accept that you are afraid is… Well?” The Tree falls silent for a moment before concluding, “Talking to someone—anyone!—about the troubles that plague your heart…? It often hurts far more than it helps.”

“You’re not…wrong,” I let slip out. The Tree says nothing further, prompting me to scream, “I don’t want it to be real! I just w-w-want everything to go back to normal! Why can’t everything be—” My voice cuts out on me.

I pant heavily, frantically swiping at the tears that cloud my eyes. “Please— Please don’t make me talk about it,” I plead.

For one glorious minute, I believe the Tree is actually going to do that. But, sadly… The minute passes, and it gently argues, “Regardless of whatever pain it brings… Acknowledging your heartache is, and always will be, the first step along the path to healing.”

Deep down, I know that the Tree is right. Just like Headmare Starlight is right. Just like all my other professors are right.

I can’t keep— I can’t keep holding this all in. But I want to. By the Scepter, I want to! I don’t want to admit that I’m scared! I don’t want to accept that I’m going to lose my friends! I don’t want to wake up one day and forget who my friends were!

I am a dragon!

I… I’m not supposed to be scared…

But I am.

“I am scared.”

Just three little words. It was just three little words. I barely even whispered them. But after saying those three stupid, little words…? I… I don’t know what I feel.

But it’s certainly not relief.

After a moment, I surprise even myself by suddenly inquiring, “You’re— You’re immortal, right?”

“I am,” the Tree confirms, keeping a wing held around me, but granting me some extra space to breathe.

I nod rapidly, asking, “How— How do you deal with…it.”

“Death?”

I think my entire body spasms at hearing that accursed word, but since I’m too busy trying not to hyperventilate, I don’t know for certain.

The Tree gives me that same pitying smile from before and laments, “And this is why I cannot bring an end to your fears.”

My mind grinds to a halt due to how utterly unprepared I was for that response. “W-What?” I ask, tilting my head in confusion. I guess I really am un-helpable, huh? I suppose.

“Smolder, I am…not…like…you,” the Tree murmurs slowly, carefully. It continues mulling over its words before explaining, “Life and…the other thing,” it says, avoiding the other word for my sake. “Are different for me.”

“H-How so? You… Haven’t you been around for millennia?”

“I have existed for just shy of twelve hundred years,” it clarified, smiling fondly.

“Really? Only twelve hundred years?” I ask, secretly glad to be dodging the real conversation for just a little longer.

“The Pillars planted me just before they sentenced themselves into Limbo,” it elaborates. “If you recall, Princesses Celestia and Luna were still fillies at the time. Long before they assumed leadership over the land of Equestria.”

“Whoa! You’re younger than the Princesses?” I laugh weakly. “That’s weird, but… Pretty cool too.”

“I suppose it is. Now? If you’re done dodging the real conversation?” the Tree slyly comments.

Annnd, there we go. Why couldn’t we have dodged it for just a little longer?

“Twelve hundred years is still a long time,” I acknowledge, nervously fiddling with my tail. “So? Wouldn’t that mean you… You…”

“Yes,” it confirms with not a hint of emotion. “I have. I have lived in the Everfree Forest for my entire existence,” the Tree continues, turning its gaze out toward the forest-in-question as a particular stallion and cockatrice finally escaped its depths. “And in that time, I have seen creatures tear themselves apart. I have seen gorges form and rivers shift. I have seen trees wither and collapse while more simply grow in their place. The same can be said for sentient life as well,” it concludes grimly.

I wince, forcing myself to ask once again, “S-S-So…? H-How do you… Deal with it then?”

“In my own way,” the Tree answers warily. “And I assure you, you are not capable of emulating it.”

I can’t bring myself to say anything more, so all I do is stare at the glittering phantasm.

I guess it works because less than a minute later, the Tree sighs and reveals, “I can feel everycreature’s hearts, Smolder. From the depths of the ocean to the heavens above… I can feel the souls of every living being in this world.”

Any other time, I would be practically exploding in wonder at just how awesome that is. What keeps me from doing that though, is that the Tree of Harmony sounded so scared when it said that.

“But it’s not just their life that I feel,” it rambled onward. “I can feel their love and their hate. Their joy and their sorrow. Their hope and their fear. And above all else, I can feel the bonds that they share with their loved ones,” the Tree says, placing a gentle hoof against my heart.

The Tree soon retracts its hoof, but I slowly reach up and hold my own claw over the spot it had touched. It feels…warm.

“Smolder? My purpose is not just to protect this world,” the Tree of Harmony declares. “It is to also prosper the love shared between others and spread the Magic of Friendship across all lands.”

“Heh. Well, you’re pretty good at it, not gonna lie,” I compliment, grinning.

The Tree grins back, saying, “Thank you.”

I can’t help but let out a tiny, amused snort.

“But,” it continues as its smile slowly fades away. “I can also feel when the love between creatures dies out. And that feeling? The loss of a bond? The extinguishing of the Magic of Friendship?”

I feel a slight draft blow through the Treehouse as its Spirit ominously mutters, “That is unacceptable to me.”

“Is that how you do it then?” I wonder, rubbing my shoulder to stave off the chill. “It doesn’t matter how many creatures…” Since I can’t bring myself to finish that thought, I abruptly end, “So long as you can help spread friendship?”

“Not…quite,” it argues, not meeting my eye. “The truth, Smolder, is that I care very little for when lives leave this world.”

“What?” I gasp, not sure if I had heard correctly.

“My purpose is to spread the Magic of Friendship,” it reiterates. “Everything I do is to fulfill that purpose. It’s…difficult to explain this,” the Tree states almost apathetically. “The best way that I can explain it, is that…? The loss of a life matters less to me than the loss of a bond. Be it one of friendship. Or one of love.”

That doesn’t make any sense to me at all. And any other time, I’d be more than willing to express that fact. But, right now? I’m way too tired to even begin arguing with the weird, omnipotent god tree.

“It is okay that you do not understand my way of thinking,” the Tree assures, giving me a calming smile. “As I told you before—I am not like you. Nor am I like the Princesses.”

“I don’t know about that. You remind me a lot of Princess Twilight; she was always saying things that confused the hay out of me too,” I joke dryly.

The Tree blinks and giggles happily. “I suppose so. Though I suspect I speak of books far less often.”

Okay. That gets a laugh out of me, and soon, the Tree starts laughing with me as well. I wish it could have lasted longer, but I fall silent far faster than I would have liked.

Eventually, I tear my eyes away from the Tree’s solemn smile and, perhaps on pure instinct, I feel my gaze instead drawn toward the balcony.

Beyond said balcony lies the Everfree Forest. And above the Everfree Forest is the night sky. And within the night sky is an ocean of stars.

I love those stars.

I love gazing at those stars.

I love counting all those stars.

…

I don’t want to watch them fade away.

I don’t want to outlive the stars.

I… I don’t want to outlive my friends.

I feel the Tree pull me into a hug just as my legs finally give out from beneath from me. I desperately cling to the Spirit as a pained whimper escapes my maw.

I don’t want to outlive my friends!

“It will be okay, Smolder,” the Tree whispers to me.

I have nothing to say to that. So, once again, I say nothing. I just bury my head into the Tree’s shoulder, and I cry.

I’m a dragon. I shouldn’t cry. And yet? Here I am doing it anyway.

Then again? I guess it’s okay to cry sometimes…right?

The Tree of Harmony simply holds Smolder again, allowing the dragon to let out all of her tears. The Tree then glances at the floor again, wincing regretfully at the two horrified mares listening below.

It took a considerably greater amount of effort to “convince” Shimmy Shake to stay put yet again.

Shortly thereafter, Smolder’s sobs abate, and she pulls away, rubbing at her eyes once again.

“I’m sorry, Smolder,” the Tree apologizes softly.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, returning my attention to my friend. “It’s okay… I get it.”

“I wish with all my being that I were the one fated to relieve your fears,” it says somberly. “But I am not. That task belongs to another,” it proclaims one last time.

“Oh, yeah? Who? Starlight?” I guess, a note venom in my voice.

“No.”

I have a feeling if I keep asking about this, the Tree will keep dodging the question and confusing me even more. And to be honest, I am not up for any more confusion.

I guess I just can’t be helped, can I? I suspect, turning my gaze back onto the stars. There’s nothing I can do. There’s nothing anyone can do. After all? If even the Tree of Harmony doesn’t know what to do…?

Something blue flickers outside, but before I can question, the Tree presses a gentle hoof against my cheek and turns my face back to it.

“What am I going to do?” I whimper despondently.

“Heal,” it answers aloofly. “You will heal. But? To do so, you must first speak of your fears.”

The Tree takes a step back from me, and I feel a slight flicker of panic rise in my chest. Almost immediately, I feel another breeze blow through the room, and I calm back down.

“Smolder,” the Tree resumes soothingly. “It is okay to be afraid. But I beg of you to stop holding these fears inside! You must not hide your heart, Smolder.”

“Besides, I can’t just spend our time together always being paranoid that Gallus isn’t okay,” I remember Silverstream telling me all that time ago. “If I do then… Then my fear will just overshadow my love.”

Why did I have to yell at her? W-Why did I chase her away? Why did—

I break out of my thoughts when the Tree starts walking out onto the balcony. “Hey, wait!” I call out, hastily running after it. “Where are you going!?”

“For what is about to transpire, I must not be present,” the Tree of Harmony elaborates, pausing to afford me the chance to catch up. “I am sorry, Smolder. But I truly am not able to assuage your fears.”

“But what am I going to do!?”

The Tree gives me another comforting hug. “You are a clever dragon,” it compliments, leaning back to give me a calm smile. “And your friends love you just as much as you love them. Talk to them, and they shall talk to you,” it ends, winking.

“…I’m s-scared,” I admit, grasping the balcony railing for support.

“I know. But more importantly? You are not alone,” the Tree of Harmony promises before fading away in a cloud of sparkles.

I let out a sob and wipe my eyes again. Once my vision is clear, I stare back up at the sky.

There are so many stars.

So many lovely, beautiful stars.

And I love them.

Just like I love my friends.

My grip on the railing tightens as I hold my breath, fighting to not break down again. I then let my breath out slowly.

…

…

…

I hear a knocking behind me, and I go still, feeling my blood freeze in my veins.

No. No-no-no! Not yet! I’m not ready yet!

I turn ever so slightly and meet the soft blue eyes of my best friend.

I want to run. I want to scream! I want so much to panic!

By the Scepter, I’m so scared!

But…I do nothing. I just stand there, staring at him.

He looks scared too, I realize.

And yet, in spite of this, Gallus still gives me the best smile he can muster as he peacefully greets, “Hey.”

I can’t hide anymore. I can’t run anymore! I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being scared. And above all else, I’m tired of not being with my friends.

Congratulations, Headmare Starlight. Congratulations, Silverstream. Congratulations, Tree of Harmony. You all get your wish.

I’m not going to hide my heart this time.

“H-Hey,” I say, feeling my wings twitch nervously.

I’m so scared.

And I just know that this is not going to be a fun conversation.