The Addams Family Sirens

by Universal Librarian

Rating: teen
Tags: Adagio Dazzle, Equestria Girls, Crossover, Sex, Slice of Life, Dark, Sonata Dusk, Aria Blaze, Comedy
Length: 2037

The Sirens find a place to stay among their distant relatives. VERY distant...

Short of funds and with nowhere to stay, the Dazzlings are forced to seek refuge with some very distant relatives of theirs.

The sirens have absolutely no idea what they're letting themselves in for.

Published 2020-11-25 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-07-13 23:41:11 UTC

Chapter 1 - Seeking Refuge

"What do you mean, you can't pay us?!" Adagio yelled into her phone.

"I'm sorry, Miss Dazzle, but we just haven't sold enough tickets," the concert organiser replied. "We're going to have to cancel the show."

"You can't do this!" Adagio snarled. "We had a deal, you can't just- hello? Hello?! Did he seriously just hang up on me?!" She glared at her phone, then gave a furious huff and tossed it onto the dashboard.

Aria raised an eyebrow. "That didn't sound promising."

Adagio groaned and let her head thud against the steering wheel. "That's the third cancellation in a row."

"We don't have any more gigs lined up, either," Aria grumbled. "You know we're going to run out of money if we don't do a show soon, right?"

"We're already out of money thanks to you idiots spending the backup funds on snacks!" Adagio snapped.

"What about the money we keep in case we run out?" Sonata asked.

"That is the backup fund, you moron!" Aria snapped.

Sonata bristled at her. "You're the moron! You spent the money, too!"

"You're both idiots," Adagio huffed. "Great. No money, no shows, and no magic." She sighed heavily and turned to frown at the others. "It looks like you two are going to have to try and get jobs again." The other two sirens immediately started shouting out refusals and rebukes, but Adagio wasn't having any of it. "You don't have a choice, unless either of you has a better idea?"

Aria grumbled and crossed her arms, but Sonata, worryingly, had a look on her face that could almost be described as thoughtful. "If we need money, why don't we go and find the old family?" She asked.

"Not a chance," Adagio said flatly.

"Why not?" Sonata asked. "We need money. They have money. And they did say to find them if ever we're in trouble."

"It's not that simple!" Adagio looked at Aria, expecting, and quietly hoping, to hear a caustic comment directed at Sonata, but instead she saw a resigned look that didn't bode well.

"I don't know." Aria crossed her arms and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "I mean, I know we haven't seen the other side of the family since we left Equestria, but they did say we should find them if we ever need help."

Adagio ground her teeth together. She desperately wanted to refuse point-blank, but the truth was that they needed money soon or they were going to be in serious trouble. "This is a bad idea."

"It can't be worse than having to get ordinary jobs," Aria muttered.

"I'll remind you that you said that," Adagio retorted. She snorted and turned the keys in the ignition, bringing the van rumbling into life. "Fine. But remember, this was your idea."

The trio stayed mostly silent as Adagio drove to the edge of town; a rare blessing as far as Adagio was concerned. After reaching the edge of town, she kept driving, heading out past suburbs, then farms, and finally into narrow lanes through a heavily wooded area.

"Where are you going?" Aria asked.

"We need to use a tunnel, preferably one in the middle of nowhere unless you want some moron following us." Adagio pointed at the glovebox. "Fetch my bag and get the black candle out of it."

Aria cocked an eyebrow, but did as she was asked. "What do we do with this?" She held up the stubby little candle made of black wax.

Adagio fought down a shiver at the thought of what that candle was made of. "Wait until we find the tunnel." Finding said tunnel took a little longer than she had hoped, the sky getting darker as evening slowly fell, but eventually they found one; a dark single-lane opening, ringed with vines, that led through a small hillock. Adagio stopped the van just outside the tunnel. "Okay, light the candle and hold Sonata's hand."

"What? Why?!" Aria spat.

"Because we all need to be holding onto each other if we want the candle to work on all of us," Adagio explained. "Now just light it and hold Sonata's hand, them hold up the candle towards the tunnel."

Adagio waited for Aria to do as she was told, then gripped her wrist with one hand while steering the van with the other, driving slowly through the tunnel. Halfway through the tunnel the candle flickered in a phantom breeze, and a shadow passed over the van.

"Looks like it worked," Adagio said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Aria asked. "What was the candle supposed to- whoa."

The three girls gasped as they drove out of the tunnel and emerged into a quaint little suburb. They looked around in amazement at the charming houses lining the streets. Glancing in the wing mirrors, they noticed with a jolt that the hill and tunnel they had passed through were gone without a trace. The street simply continued on into the distance.

"Wait a minute, is this thing magic?!" Aria gave the candle a shocked look, then shifted to glare at Adagio. "You've had magic here in the van this whole time and you never told us?!"

Adagio sighed heavily. "It's not Equestrian magic you moron, it's whatever weird magic they have in this world. And you'd better put that candle out before you set fire to your hair."

Aria grumbled and put the candle out, while Sonata just stared blankly around at the surrounding houses. Glad that they were finally back to being quiet, Adagio concentrated on driving carefully and looking for their destination. "Keep an eye out for their house. I have a feeling we'll be able to tell the right place just from seeing it."

"Isn't it that big one on the hill?" Sonata asked, pointing up to the right.

Following her finger, the other two gasped in awe as they spotted a dark mansion built in the middle of expansive grounds atop a low hill. Graves and mausoleums filled the grounds, interspersed with twisted statues and overgrown gardens, while carrion birds swooped amongst the shadows.

"That's the place," Adagio said with grim certainty.

As they started up the hill, Aria frowned curiously. "You said that candle was weird magic from this world, does that mean that this is another human world?"

"Yeah," Adagio replied, thankful to have a halfway intelligent question from one of the others. "When this side of the family left Equestria, they went through a different portal and ended up in this place, instead of that miserable magicless world. They gave me this candle the last time they visited Equestria before they sealed their portal, forever."

"So why haven't we come here sooner?" Sonata asked.

Adagio grimaced. "You'll see why, soon enough."

The girls fell silent as they drove up the hill. The mansion almost seemed to loom over them as they drove closer.

A huge wrought-iron gate was waiting at the top of the hill for them. Adagio stopped the van, but before she could get out the gate creaked open of its own volition. Fighting back a shiver, Adagio restarted the van and drove slowly up the drive, pretending not to notice the gate creaking shit again behind them.

Aria glanced in the mirror, clearly seeing it, too. "Uh, those gates aren't electric, are they?" She looked around more carefully now, as if only just noticing the macabre aspect of their surroundings. "These people are distantly descended from our family, right? But… doesn't that mean...?"

"It's too late to turn back now," Adagio said grimly. The mansion was even darker and more creepy up close; a testament to gothic architecture and general disrepair. She stopped the van just in front of the steps leading up to the front door. "Remember, this is a whole new world, and we haven't seen any of this side of the family since before we left Equestria. I'm warning you now, they're weird. Keep your eyes open, and be careful."

The three of the girls out of the van, each of them looking uneasily up at the mansion. Adagio fetched something from a box in the back of the van, then turned and straightened up, stepping in front of the others. "Okay. Let's do this."

Aria and Sonata followed slowly as Adagio led the way up the steps. She waited at the top for them to catch up, then raised a hand and knocked loudly, not willing to trust the doorbell.

No-one answered.

After several long seconds, Aria huffed and crossed her arms. "Seriously? We came all this way and they aren't even here? This is so freaking stup-"

Her mouth snapped shut as the door slowly opened with a low, drawn-out creak of straining wood. The creature on the other side of the room could only be described as human using a past tense. He was enormous, well over head and shoulders taller than any of the sirens, with short black hair and a complexion that was rivalled by most month-old corpses. "You rang…?" It groaned in a deep voice.

Adagio fought the urge to take a step back, followed by several hundred more in rapid succession. "Er… yeah. We're here to see the family." She held up the item she had retrieved from the van, revealing it to be a small, round amulet made out of dark green stone. It had a stylised gargoyle carved into it.

The corpse creature's eyes widened at the sight of the amulet. It stepped back and held the door open for the girls, bowing slightly as they stepped inside.

The interior of the house was just as grand and dilapidated as the exterior. A majestic staircase dominated the entrance hall, illuminated by an ancient, cobweb-laden chandelier.

"Who is it, Lurch?" The sirens turned to see a breathtakingly beautiful woman coming out of a side room. She had long jet-black, and wore a floor-length black dress with a plunging neckline that showed off her deathly pale skin and just a hint of cleavage; an elegant design that was enticing without being entirely salacious. The woman seemed to glide gracefully along the floor rather than walk. She halted and stared at the girls in surprise as she spotted them. "Oh, my…"

"Visitors, cara mia?" The man that followed the woman out of the room was her match in every way. Where she was beautiful, he was strikingly handsome. His skin was almost as pale as his companion, and his immaculate hair and narrow moustache were every bit as dark as hers. He wore a perfectly tailored suit of black silk, and he had such an aura, such a presence, that he seemed to draw attention just by entering the room, a stunning feat given the sheer beauty of his partner.

"My word…" The man's eyes lit up the instant he spotted the girls. "You must be the Dazzlings."

It was a statement, not a question. Adagio nodded anyway and held up the amulet. "I'm sorry to show up unannounced, but your ancestors told us to call on the family if ever we needed help and succour. Well, right now we need both."

The man broke out into a manic grin, absolute glee seeping from every fibre of his being. "Say no more, our home is yours!" He strode up to the girls, eagerly shaking and kissing the hand of each of them in turn. Adagio couldn't help but feel a flutter in her heart despite herself. "I cannot tell you how happy I am to finally meet you all! My name is Gomez." He stepped back and held an arm out to the woman, who smiled and glided forward to accept it gracefully. "This is my wife, Morticia, the apple of my eye, the reason for my existence and the one for whom my heart beats alone."

Morticia nodded demurely, smiling as Gomez kissed her hand repeatedly. "Later, darling. First, we must finish welcoming our guests."

"Of course!" Gomez turned back to them instantly, his face lighting up again. "You must be hungry. Come! A feast for our honoured sisters from afar! We shall give you a welcome worthy of an Addams!'

Chapter 2 - Meet the Addams

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Chapter 3 - Old Memories

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Chapter 4 - Breakfast

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Chapter 5 - Secret

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