The Equestrian Stooges

by J.A.I

Rating: teen
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Slice of Life
Length: 10395

Three "friends" find themselves stuck together. Will they survive without killing each ot

Iron Defense and his long time friend Jasper can no longer stay in Canterlot. There's just nothing there left for them. Bent on leaving the city, they run into a pretty...'colorful' character that Jasper just can't stand. Will they be able to live together in peace, or will they accidentally cause the destruction of Equestria with their bickering?

There are 3 main characters in this story.

Jasper belongs to Hydkore

AJ belongs to Fanthrose

Iron Defense belongs to Shawn820

Published 2012-09-01 03:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-03 03:17:34 UTC

Moving on to Better Things

The Equestrian Stooges

Chapter 1

It was an understatement to claim the room was ‘messy’. With all of the equipment around, the place resembled a workshop. Nuts and bolts were scattered all over many complex schematics that littered the room. Close by, there was also a desk holding an array of fine tools from crude wrenches to delicate screwdrivers. All of these, along with variety of odd machinery, took majority of the rooms otherwise large living space. A bed that sat in the corner of the room was one of the only things that made this a bedroom.

And by it stood an earth pony stallion; grand in size and light brown coat shining under the lamplight alongside with his jagged, dark brown mane and tail. Yet the pony continued to look down at the bedsheets.

“Guess that does it,” he mumbled to himself as he close the large suitcase. It was the same leathery color as himself. He then grabbed the handle with his mouth to test its weight. Thanks to his large size, the case was light enough to easily carry.

*Knock, knock*

The earth pony quickly turned his head to look at the bedroom door before lowering his suitcase down to the floor. At the same time, the door slowly opened to reveal a cream coloured earth pony mare with a short blond mane and tail like a rocker. On her head she wore a rose red beret with a golden crest pinned in the middle.

“Hey Iron, Pa’ said you-” the mare’s words stopped as her eyes fell upon the suitcase. She sighed as she proceeded to walk over to the stallion. As she stopped, their grey eyes met. Grey eyes was a trademark of the Defence family. Another one was the substantially larger size of male members, forcing the cream to look upwards.

“Floret I...”

“So you’re leaving for good?” Floret asked; keeping the eye contact.

After a moment of silence, the stallion nodded. “It’s for the best. Best for all of us if I just leave this good for nothing ‘elegeant and innovative’ waste of a city.” The stallion sighed. “Especially when I’m not even wanted by my own family... Not you, of course, but...”

Floret opened her mouth but was instantly muffled by the light brown hoof. Same time, the stallion shook his head. “Please don’t. You and I both know how father sees me. The only reason I’ve been able to stay for so long has been that he believed, somewhere deep inside, that that I’d come to my senses and abandon all of this...” the earth pony waved his hoof to the room, at the machinery trinkets “and follow my true destiny. Bah!”

He then took a deep breath and turned back to look at his younger sister. He gently placed his hoof on her shoulder. He looked over to his flanks. The mark of a hammer over a shield shone, like a burning fire.

“I need this. To get away and have a fresh start. And who knows, perhaps the old moron will finally comes to senses.” Iron weakly laughed.

“Iron... Please don’t leave.” Floret said as her head dropped along with Iron’s hoof. The stallion backed away, took his dark bag and slowly walked past the mare, whose face was now hidden underneath the gold locks and shadows.

But he did stop at the doorframe to glanced over his shoulder.

“Goodbye, dear sister.” Iron stated.

“Get out you idiot.” The mare weakly laughed. She heard her older brother’s steps and the door closing; leaving her alone in the room. She raised her head and let the first tear fall down her muzzle.

Iron slowly trot through the hallway looking from door to door. Leaving a part of his life seemed so hard, but he couldn’t bear with the how almost everypony in his family saw him as a great failure. He began to trot down the flight of stairs to floor level trotting by he came into the living room, and there in a big chair sat his father. He was a older pony, the hair in his mane began to grey out. The father looked up from a book and faced Iron, squinting his eyes.

“Iron.”

“Total.” Iron said while returning the gesture before moving back to grab a grey scarf from the hatstand. It was the same shade as his eyes. He threw it around his neck, he briefly turned his gaze back to the living room and to see the old geezer had returned to his book, eyes still squinting yet firmly locked on the written word. As Iron finished up the tying the piece of cloth, the old man hadn’t moved an inch.

“Well, goodbye then,” Iron stated. Total responded with a shrug whilst taking out a pipe, before the younger stallion grabbed the suitcase.

“Oh by the way...”

The old stallion turned to look, and instantly his eyes bulged open. Loe and behold Iron stood there with one hoof in the air pointed to the roof but facing his father. A look of anger grew on the older stallion’s face to the point in which he began to ramble in a low tone getting louder and louder. On the stairs laugher could be heard being made by a young mare.

The office was what you could expect; grey bland walls with different kinds of framed diplomas and metal cabinets filling all sides. There was only a small amount of space for an oak work desk in the middle. The greyish green carpet brought at least some form of colour to the room.

“Look, can't you just let me leave?”

The unicorn mare, wearing what looked like a lab coat alongside framed glasses, shook her head weakly and glanced to other side of the desk. She looked rather old, both in flesh and spirit.

“You know that’s not possible. Absolutely not. It’s against the law to let creatures-”

However a snort interrupted her “So what, I’m suddenly some form of savage creature that will burn down everything in sight and make ponies flee; screaming in terror?!”

“That’s not-” the unicorn tried to talk.

“Okay, what then?! It’s just some stupid law you’re following. It’s leaving me trapped just because some asshole nobles don’t want to-”

Now the unicorn slammed her hoof down on the table and the impact sent a stack of memos falling down to the floor. “Jasper! Manners!”

On the seat opposite side to the mare, the silver greyish dragon returned the stern look. A male one no doubt due to the thick eyebrow scales and long spiky back scales, all dark red in colour. But over from his forehead, a single black scale rose up and formed a spiral, much like a pony with a long front brace. His dark magenta eyes narrowed down as he pushed his glasses further up his nostril.

“Oh please, not this thing again. I’m perfectly able to express myself.” the dragon sarcastically commented while the unicorn huffed before falling back to her chair.

She then sighed “Look... Jasper, I’m sorry but you know the rules and regulations. No dragon, under any circumstances, is allowed to leave the city. You’re of course free to walk around, as per usual.”

The dragon kept his look stern “That’s the problem. Same streets, same ponies, same city, same all!” He then rested his two claws above his dark pink stomach before continuing “Basically, this place is just a huge prison complex. And don’t you dare say anything different.”

“I don’t need to, because I know that too. However, that doesn’t change the law. No dragon can leave unless-”

*Brrring*

The unicorn inaudibly muttered something, being interrupted yet again but this time by the alarm of her intercom box. She reached out towards it, ready to push the button, nevertheless stopping in mid air and gestured her free hoof at the dragon.

“You’re free to leave, Jasper.” the pony ordered. Even he understood his limits. Moreover when the director had bad mane days and some nobles expressed their ‘safety concerns’. He reluctantly jumped off from the stool and landed down on the floor with a loud thump. Jasper barely barely even reached the top of the desk, but that’s what most of his kind were like.

A baby dragon. That's what they would call him. Fillies and colts would ask him to join playing whenever he went to the Canterlot Park to waste some time. Rather annoying gimmick he had grown up with. But adults were the worst ones, at least the little ones took him seriously...

Jasper weakly closed the door behind, just as the director of his ‘home’ answered to the call in a polite manner. He knew it was wrong for him to act like that to her, but it was frustrating to be heard yet not listened to.

Being a seventeen year old dragon is a hard business.

So the dragon did what he did best and sighed deeply while starting to walk down the corridor. The same colorful tapestry, with animals and forests, greeted him in a blitz of unnatural colours. No, mocking him like the ponies of the Canterlot College that made fun of him until he finally graduated.

The greatest height of heroism to which an individual, like a pony, can attain is to know how to face ridicule, he recalled his former teacher once quoting somepony in class, while giving him a meaningful look.

Jasper wanted to rip off the teacher’s ballsack so badly that day.

Nevertheless, his movement came to a halt in front of a glass pane. One large enough for even him to peek through and that’s what he did. What he saw is something that many would consider marvellous sight. In multiple baby caskets laid rows of eggs; kept warm by the powerful lights from above and the pre-heated air purposely filtered inside through air vents. Best growing environment for the eggs, it was meant to mimic a mother dragon’s body heat.

It was a hatchery

Jasper kept staring for quite a while, his right claw leaning onto the window, as his mind returned to face a fact. He’s stuck here in Dragon Rescue Foundation. But for how long? At least up to the point when he takes over half of this governmental building and then the guards would come to-

“I thought I’d find you in here,” the dragon’s gaze fell to right where now stood a stallion, wearing same kind of overcoat as the director expect with a green cross on the back. Otherwise the stallion looked kind, little bit puffed up and face bright as a light bulb, as his eyes drilled into the eggs “You always stop here after talking with director.”

To that Jasper grinned “A big surprise there. Kinda like I always know you’re at the cafe when Donut Joe comes to restock donuts.” he sarcastically commented, making the stallion laugh too. They both continued to look at the eggs, as if waiting for something to happen. This went on for a minute, both keeping quiet, until the dragon coughed.

“So, did you get it?”

The stallion kept quiet for a moment.

Then sighed “I’m sorry, but it wasn’t the-”

*CRACK*

The shocked stallion took a step backwards as Jasper’s claw punched the glass panel with full force what the little dragon packed. Luckily not enough to harm the glass. His claw stayed put as Jasper flung his head to stare at the stallion. His look wasn’t furious, just cold.

“You said it would be there, Hatcher...”

Filly Hatcher sighed “Yes, yes I did. I should know, being the caretaker of eggs and the one to write it. But they have taken the documents to someplace else, out of my reach. One of my assistant said some suited ponies came about two months ago and took everything in the name of homeland security.”

“Where?” the dragon whispered dangerously low.

“I...I don’t know Jasper. The director would know, but you realize she follows the law to the last comma. You won’t get anything out of her,” the stallion said somberly. He truly felt bad that he couldn’t help the little fellow out

Jasper gritted his teeth before pushing himself off from the glass. “One egg is cracking,” he mumbled; leaving the gasping stallion behind to race up to the hatchery door. Jasper himself walked away calmly as ever. Even if inside he felt like he needed to explode. The dragon tried to keep his cool. Seconds turned to minutes as he slowly yet steadily walked in halls of the building he knew too well. In fact, he knew it enough well for him to be assigned as a guide for groups of ponies visiting this place.

But deep inside, even Jasper had to admit the Rescue Foundation had offered much to his life. They had essentially taken care of him ever since he was born, and provided a decent living space. As he grew up, they even offered to him a diploma to get a seat in the College along with few other dragons from the Foundation. Yet it was nothing. As he grew up, he came to see how his former childhood friends and growing mates were allowed to leave as they reached the needed limits.

Leaving him behind...

Jasper, passing by the canteen are and after walking up a set of steps, arrived to start of an oval shaped hall. A bit redundant, however this one differed greatly from the rest. There were many of doors on all sides; each connecting up to a room. He moved out of the way as some young dragons, somewhere near age seven, rushed past him and down the steps. Every single one of them carrying a bundle of toys. Yet each of them took a look at him. They were fearful looks. So too did the few others around center of the room as he passed by; everypony stopping whatever they were doing.

They knew who was the boss around here.

He gave final look over his back, to see everyone had returned to play, so he sighed and grabbed the doorknob. The wooden door cringed open and Jasper walked inside, closing the door behind him. His room was quite large for his size. It was big enough for him to have bed, desk of sorts and even a wardrobe. Though it didn’t have any purpose because he didn’t own any clothing. Well, if you didn’t counted one little colts tuxedo he had to wear at the graduation party he had gotten from Filly Hatcher. Last time he checked, they still didn’t make anything ub his size, and custom ordering some was too expensive. On the dark red walls, same shade as his back scales, hung various different posters from Wonderbolt, to some science ones he had gotten from school.

Oh yeah, and a poster with All Mighty Celestia giving a gaze with word ‘Obey’ on the bottom.

But all this were just minor details to the dragon. The first thing he did was crawl over to the bed; landing on the pluffy mattress with a small leap. He then crawled up to the pillow and hugged the thing before rolling up to a ball.

Broken.

“Screw this place...” he mumbled as he closed his eyes.

*Knock, knock*

“Keep it down! Trying to sleep here!” Jasper shouted; his eyes firmly closed.

Yet he heard the door open up, to which he responded by shooting upwards. “For fucks sake, just leave me...” However his words fell, along with his jaw, as he got a first glimpse of the being by the open door. It was a stallion. One he knew really well.

“Iron?” the dragon muttered in disbelief as he jumped off to greet the stallion. “What are you doing in here? Visiting time’s supposed to be over.”

The light brown stallion lowered his suitcase to the floor. He looked at the dragon with a confident grin. Jasper’s eyes widened as he saw Iron pull out a what looked like a pile of papers. They were all stapled together and stamped with official emblems.

“I’m here to bust you out little guy, what else?”

Ponies couldn’t help but look into the alleyway as they passed. The sound of garbage cans being opened and slamming shut could be heard along with the muttering of a stallion. “Is it really too much to ask somepony to throw me a bone here? i mean come on. Two alleyways, and nopony has thrown out a mattress, some pillows, and a blanket. I’m starting to think i should just give up.”

He levitated a pizza box off his back and opened it. “Hell, food was easier to find.” He took one of the slices of pizza out and took a bite. “Some ponies really need to take better care of their food. I only had to punch one little brat to get this. Sweet Celestia that kid could cry.” He shoved the rest of the slice into his mouth. “I just wish i could have gotten more before the kid’s parents came after me. I’m still hungry.” He tossed the box in a random direction.

He lifted a big brown box off the ground; securing it on his back with a strap of torn off bed sheet. “I suppose as long as I have my box of treasures here, everything will be juuuust fine.”

He began walking down the alleyway once again. “At least I’m nice and safe in this alleyway. Nothing will be able to...” He stopped dead in his tracks as he heard something coming around the corner. His eyes widened in fear as it’s foot became visible.

“Do you even know where we’re going?” asked Jasper as he rode on Iron’s back. He too had gotten his own backpack, filled with all he owned and could bring along with him.

“To the train station. We’re going to catch the next train to Fillydelphia and try to find work there.”

“Yea, this plan sounds like it’s going to work out perfectly,” Jasper said sarcastically.

Iron sighed. “I’m not in the mood for your sarcasm right now Jasper.” He looked up into the sky. It wouldn’t be too much longer before the moon would replace the sun. “We better hurry.” Iron picked up his pace.

“My point still stands though. What if moving to Fillydelphia doesn’t work out? We only have so many bits. If you can’t find a job that suits you, it won’t be very long until we’re on the streets.”

“Which is why I did some research before I started,” Iron said with confidence. “There’s a forge in Fillydelphia that has a few open positions. I’ve been in contact with the foreman over the last week, and from the sound of it I’m sure to get the job. All I need to do is get down there and show him what I’m capable of.”

“What about housing? Did you have a plan for that?”

“That’s the best part. The owner of the forge also owns an apartment complex across the street. Those under his employment have the option to rent an apartment for a reduced cost. In his words, ‘it may not too big, but it’s better than nothing.’”

Jasper smiled. “Well, it’s good to know you thought this all through before leaving. I was afraid you were just…”

“GET OUT OF THE WAAAAAAAAAAY!!!”

Before either of them could even react, Iron was tackled from the side by somepony coming from the alleyway they were passing in front of. There was enough force behind the pony to send Jasper tumbling to the ground. Being as well built as he was, Iron barely moved an inch as the other pony crumpled into him.

Iron looked around in confusion. He took note of his surroundings. To his left he saw jasper’s tail, claws, and feet sticking out from beneath his case. To his right, he saw an indigo unicorn stallion with a brown mane, and a longer than average tail. On his flanks sat three explosions; one red, one green, one yellow. His glasses were skewed on his head from the crash, and he had a box with the words ‘KEAP OWT’ written on it lying next to him.

Iron lifted the suitcase off of Jasper before turning to the other stallion. “Hey, are you okay?”

The stallion rubbed his head as he sat up. “Fucking hell. I think I just ran into a slab of iron.” He looked at the big stallion in front of him. “Why the hell don’t you watch where you’re going?! Can’t you see that I’m fleeing for my life here?!” The stallion suddenly froze up as he turned back to the alleyway. “Wait...do you hear it? It’s coming! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!!!” The stallion then dove behind Iron who just looked on in confusion.

Iron looked back into the alleyway as a small kitten slowly walked out. It looked at Iron with a big, innocent smile before running down the street. “Is it gone?” The stallion poked his head out to see that the cost was clear.

“What is your problem?!” Both Iron and the stallion looked towards Jasper. “First, you run into us and knock me to the ground, then you use Iron as a shield to protect yourself from a cat?!”

“Calm down Jasper. Nopony got hurt.”

“Nopony got hurt?! Do you realize just how much your suitcase weighs?! That thing is really heavy!” Jasper looked back to the stallion who was looking at him with a horrified look. “What’s with the look?”

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! TALKING, MUTANT, HOMOSEXUAL IGUANA!!!!!!”

“Excuse me?! I am not a gay iguana! I am a…”

Before Jasper could finish, he was hit upside the head with the box the stallion had with him. “Take this you freakish newt!” He smashed the box back down on top of Jasper a few more times before running down the street with the box floating in his magic.

Jasper rubbed his head as he sat up. “What was that pony's problem?!”

“I have no idea, but we should hurry to the train station.” Iron lowered himself so Jasper could climb back. After Jasper was back on, he grabbed his suitcase and continued down the road. Iron began to quickly trot to the Canterlot train station, due to the delay he had, Iron had no clue if they were late.

After a while they arrived at the station just in time to see a train pull up. The train came to a screeching halt. The doors opened to reveal a crowd ready to exit. Iron quickly began to move out of the way rather than be trampled by ponies. They were viewing the ivory city with a gleam in their eyes and excitement in their hooves, as Iron was soon to notice.

“Jasper! Can you see the timetable?” the stallion shouted while trying to fight against the mass of ponies. Meanwhile, the dragon on his back stood up, balancing himself with the help of tail, and gazed over the other ponies around them. He searched inside and out the entire place. In no time, Jasper noticed the wide black board up on other side of the train hall.

“I see it! It says... it says... Woah! The train’s supposed to be leaving just now!”

“Blast it,” Iron muttered; still keeping a firm stance against the flesh wave pressing against himself. But just then, somepony threw his or her bags right against Iron’s hooves, making him fall down with Jasper alongside him. The impact left the stallion staggering for air, yet he was able to maintain balance.

But he felt frustrated.

“Okay, that’s it!” he roared before using his strength against the crowd. And it worked. With ease, Iron drilled himself a path while Jasper had a firm hold around his friend’s neck; his eyes were clenched shut. In a matter of a minute and a lot of pushing around, the two of them found themselves standing inside the large hall with ticket booths and very huge crowd of ponies ready to board trains.

Iron took a deep breath before racing down the open space like a madman. He had already booked tickets for both of them in advanced, and aren't they expensive! There was way that Iron was willing to pay for them twice, even if he could have.

“Quick Jasper, check what platform the tickets have on them!”

The dragon did what asked, taking out one of the silver coloured tickets from Iron’s suitcase out and reading the fine print. “Lets see... Aha, Platform 4, The Ever Sunny Day. It’s just over there, past those columns.”

Iron nodded in acknowledgement and kept his steady pace, dodging other passer by ponies with agility large pony like him shouldn’t have had. He had to admit, being in a family where everypony had a military training was sometimes beneficial. Even if he didn’t enjoy it very much. And it did help that the crowd grew.. smaller?

Nevertheless, Iron’s hooves didn’t slow down until finally making it pass the stone pillars. And when he did, he had a screeching halt. Jasper hurt his nose as it got smashed up against Iron’s neck.

“Ow, what now?” the dragon grumbled to his partner before looking over the pony’s head and at the train waiting by.

But what kind of a train. Carts were nothing like you’d normally expect to see. There was only few cars and all came in different, bright pastel colours. They a lot like wrapped candies. Then there was one cart with open walls and some form of overtop with an open window with no panels. It looked more like an animal transport cart than a travel one, however they saw some elderly ponies already inside. The most striking feature, out of all others like the one wagon cart on the backside, was the actual train itself. It was cherry red in colour with yellow carvings and the windows were, no kidding, shaped like hearts.

Friendship Express, read in the side of the engine.

“What the...” Iron mumbled in disbelief.

“Wow, now I’ve seen everything...” Jasper joined in.

Just then, a conductor pony jumped off from one of the pastel carts and began to blow on his whistle. “All aboard!” the pony shouted, and the nearby ponies all began to trot inside the carts.

Jasper gave a quick pat on Iron’s head “Well what you’re waiting for? The train’s leaving.”

However the stallion continued to eye the train. Or rather at the very small amount of ponies that boarded the train. For a train leaving for a city as big as Fillydelphia, he expected there to be a lot more ponies on the train. In the end, he just shrugged and headed over to the open door of a cart.

“Fillydelphia, here we come.”

A Train of Another Name

Chapter 2

“This...sucks,” grumbled Jasper. Due to his small size, the conductor had assumed he was just a baby. Therefore, he was required to stay in a booster seat for the entirety of the trip. No matter how much complaining he did, the conductor just smiled; constantly talking to him like he would a baby. Jasper even tried proving how old and mature he was by showing him how knowledgeable he was. The conductor just laughed; claiming that kids say the craziest things. “I swear, if he talks down to me one more time, I’m going to light him on fire.”

“Just calm down Jasper,” Iron said looking over to him. “He only did it for your safety. Not everypony’s going to understand how dragons work like you and I do.”

“It’s still annoying! Just because i’m small, doesn’t mean i’m a little baby!”

Iron tapped a hoof against his chin as he thought. “Well technically, you would still be considered a ‘baby’ dragon.” He couldn’t help but chuckle as Jasper glared death at him.

“Fuck you and your technicalities,” Jasper said; pointing a claw at Iron.

Iron continued to laugh until he heard a knock on the door to their little cabin. “Come on in,” said Iron.

The door opened to show a young, smiling unicorn mare wearing a cute, striped blouse with a trolley full of many different kinds of sweets. “Would the two of you be interested in something sweet to eat? Maybe something to drink?”

Iron looked over the trolley, but nothing seemed to catch his eye. “Nothing to eat for me, but would you happen to have any cherry soda?”

“Iron, no,” Jasper said in a stern tone.

Iron looked at Jasper and began to pout. “Oh come on Jasper. It’s just a bit of soda. What’s the harm?”

“In case you’ve forgotten, we’re kinda lacking in the bits department. We’ll barely have enough to live off of until you can get that job. We can’t risk buying anything we don’t need.” He looked at Iron who was giving him a disappointed look. Jasper crossed his arms and turned away; closing his eyes as he did. “Nope, not going to work. After dealing with all the little whelps at the hatchery, I’m no longer fazed by such things.”

“Okay sir, your cherry soda will be here shortly.”

Jasper’s eyes shot open as he turned back to Iron. He turned just in time to see Iron hoofing over a couple of bits to the mare. “Iron, what the hell?! I already said no!”

“My bits. I can spend them however I want, and I want some cherry soda.”

An audible smack filled the room as Jasper forcefully facepalmed. “What about you little guy, would you like something?” asked the mare.

Jasper fixed the mare with a light glare. “Go ahead Jasper. I got something, it’s only fair if you do too,” Iron said in a level tone. “Besides, everything here is pretty cheap. I don’t think a sweet or two will bankrupt us.”

Jasper looked between Iron and the mare before letting out a defeated sigh. “I don’t suppose you have any gemstones on this train?”

The mare’s smile wavered slightly. “Uhhhh...I don’t think so?”

Jasper lowered his head and sighed once more. “I’ll just have some milk then.”

With a soft smile, Iron paid the mare for the milk. “Okay, that’s one cherry soda, and some milk. I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

Iron watched as the mare closed the door. He could hear her walking away, and opening the door to the next car. “I can not believe it,” Jasper said in a frustrated tone.

“What?”

“Just now! We just blew three bits on stuff we didn’t need. Why didn’t we just get some water? Water’s always free.”

“Actually, the water was a bit too,” Iron said with a hoof to his chin. Jasper just facepalmed. “But that’s besides the point. Those bits were just something extra I managed to scrounge up before we left. I wouldn’t dig into our savings just to feed my addiction.”

A smile slowly grew on Jasper’s face. “I should have known you wouldn’t be that stupid. You always were one of the smart ones. Which is a lot more than I can say about the director of the hatchery.”

“Just because the two of you never got along, doesn’t mean she’s not a smart pony.”

“You don’t understand Iron! That bitch did everything in her power to make sure my life was miserable!” No matter the setting, thinking about the director always brought out the worst in Jasper. “Even if it was something as simple as more comfortable beds for us dragons, she said no. ‘We just don’t have the funds Jasper,’ or ‘Not every dragon is interested in, or even likes that kind of entertainment’ she would say.”

“Maybe you should give her a break once in awhile. She does have a lot on her plate after all.” Iron thought of all the things the director needed to do. “Not to mention all the crap she has to deal with from...other sources.” He gave Jasper a knowing look. “She’s been running the hatchery since before you were even hatched. She must be doing something right,” Iron said as he put a reassuring hoof on Jasper’s shoulder.

The two of them have had this conversation more times than they can count. It always ended the same. The only difference was this time Jasper didn’t curse her to Tartarus.

*Knock, knock, knock.*

The door was opened once again by the mare from before. “Hello again. just here to deliver your order.” Two things were floating in her magic, a glass of soda, and a baby bottle full of milk. She levitated the soda over to Iron, who took it with a look of glee on his face, and the milk over to Jasper, who took the bottle in his claw.

Jasper looked at the bottle in his claws with a look of disbelief before looking back to the mare. “What...the hell...is this?”

“It’s your milk,” the mare said with a smile. “Now, if you need anything else, just come find me, okay?” With that, the mare closed the door to go tend to the other passengers.

Jasper took another look at the bottle before lowering his head with a frustrated growl. “I’m going to burn down the train. One ball of fire and fwoosh, it all goes up in flames.”

As Jasper contemplated going on a rampage, Iron was in his own happy, little world. There he would remain until he was finished with his soda.

In the end, Jasper figured it would probably be counter productive to burn down the train. Paying for a new train would be the last thing they’d need at the moment. He ended up just taking the nipple off the bottle and using it as a cup. To help relieve a bit of stress, he ended up burning the nipple before tossing it out the window. As he closed the window, he heard Iron clear his throat. Turning his head, he saw Iron looking at him with a raised brow. “What?”

“You know that nipple belonged to the train company, right?”

Jasper looked at Iron as if he had just said the most stupid thing in the world. “Uhhh, yea?”

“You realise that we’re going to have to pay to replace it now, right?”

“Not if they can’t prove we did anything. Give me a minute.” Jasper opened Iron’s suitcase; pulling out some iron, and a couple tools he had brought with him. After a few minutes and a small amount of dragon fire, he had fashioned a makeshift nipple for the bottle. “There. Good as new.”

“As wrong as this is, I just have to know. Where in Equestria did you learn something like that?”

“Being older than most, I had to help take care of the other whelps. That included fixing broken toys and cleaning up the other messes those little brats always made.”

Iron chuckled. “And here I thought you hated getting your claws dirty. You never did get into things when I was teaching you how to work with iron.”

“I don’t like getting my claws dirty unless I have to. That’s why I try to stick with my books. Much cleaner.”

“Maybe you could try to find some kind of job that let’s you work with books,” suggested Iron. “I can ask the foreman when we get there if there are any library’s near there looking for an assistant, or maybe we could just find an office job at the forge for you.”

“Maybe. Getting a job of my own would allow me to stay busy. Plus, a few extra bits never hurt...” Jasper was interrupted by a knocking on the door once again. “Come in.”

As the door opened, the two of them were greeted by the smiling face of the mare from earlier. “Hello again. I was just wondering if the two of you would like anything else?”

Iron shook his head. “No. I think we’re good, thank you. Though I do have a question.”

“Ask away,” the peppy mare said Her constantly peppy nature was quickly beginning to grind on Jasper’s nerves.

“Do you know about how much longer it will be until we reach Fillydelphia?”

The smile immediately dropped off the mare’s face. “Uhhhh what do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do you mean. How much longer until we get to Fillydelphia?” Jasper said in an aggravated tone. “You know, the city this train’s going to?”

“No, no, no...I know what you meant,” The mare said as she brought a hoof to her forehead. “What I mean is, what do you mean Fillydelphia? This train isn’t heading for Fillydelphia.”

Both Jasper and Iron stared at the mare as an awkward silence filled the room. “Y-you’re joking...right?” asked Jasper. “Please tell me you’re joking? We can’t be on the wrong train.” Jasper unhooked himself from the booster seat and ran up to the mare; grabbing her by the collar of her outfit to bring her to his level. He looked straight into her eyes with a pleading look on his face. “Please just tell me you have a sadistic sense of humor?!”

Iron and Jasper stood on the train platform looking at the sign that hung over head. It read, ‘Welcome to Ponyville.’ Iron let out a sigh as he looked over to Jasper. Jasper was taking this revelation a bit hard to say the least. His jaw gaped open, and his right eye twitched as he stared at the sign. His arms hung limply at his sides.

Now, Iron wasn’t exactly a master when it came to reading other ponies, but at the moment, he was pretty sure Jasper was about to blow an artery. “Now Jasper, just calm down.”

Jasper looked at Iron and fixed him with a rage filled glare. “Calm down? Calm down?! YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST CALM DOWN?!?!?!”

“It was just a simple mistake, and...”

“A SIMPLE MISTAKE?!?!?!” Jasper jumped up and grabbed Iron by the muzzle so he could look him in the eyes. “We got on the wrong train Iron! THE WRONG TRAIN!!! WE’RE EVEN FURTHER AWAY FROM FILLYDELPHIA THAN WE STARTED!!!”

Using his hoof, Iron pushed Jasper off his muzzle. “For the love of Celestia just calm down before you have a stroke. We’ll just go and ask when the next train to Fillydelphia is and we’ll take it. We’ll have to dig into our savings, but we should be able to afford the tickets while having enough to survive until I can get paid.”

“Yes, yes that’s a good idea.” Jasper took a long, deep breath to try to calm his nerves.

As Jasper tried to calm down, Iron went in search of a schedule. He looked all over the platform, but was unable to find one. “Can I help you sir?”

Iron looked over his shoulder to see a cream colored stallion with a short, brown mane. He was wearing a conductor’s outfit. “Yes, hello. I was wondering, when’s the next train to Fillydelphia going to be leaving? You see, me and my friend are from Canterlot, and we were trying to get to Fillydelphia, but it seems we got on the wrong train.”

“Well, if you’re looking to get on another train you’re out of luck until tomorrow. That was the last one for the day. As for your other problem...that’s a bit trickier.”

“What do you mean? Jasper asked; the confusion was clear on his face.

“Well, we don’t have any trains that go to Fillydelphia. Only Canterlot, Dodge Junction, Appleloosa, and Manehatton.” Iron’s eyes got wide as a hint of worry crept it’s way onto his face. “If you’re looking to get to Fillydelphia, the fastest way would be to go back to Canterlot, and transfer over to a Fillydelphia bound train there.”

Iron lowered his head; letting out a tired sigh. “How much would two tickets to Canterlot cost?” Jasper took a moment to think. “One adult, one minor?”

The conductor put a hoof to his chin. “Well, that’s ten bits for an adult ticket, and five for a minor, so fifteen bits.”

Iron did a bit of quick math in his head. It had cost him about 25 bits for the two tickets to Fillydelphia. That’s 40 more bits that they would have to use just to get to Fillydelphia. Then they would need to get find a place to sleep until he could get the job, and therefore the cheap housing. Add the cost of food, and that all equaled out to one thing.

‘We don’t have enough. Jasper’s not going to be happy about this,’ Iron thought. He looked back to the conductor. “Do you know any cheap hotels around here we could stay at for the night?”

The conductor pointed to a building in the distance with a smile. “That building over there is a hotel. It has some pretty cheap rooms if you’re low on bits.”

Iron thanked the conductor before walking away to find Jasper. Luckily, he hadn't moved an inch. At the moment the little dragon was sitting in the lotus position, and meditating in an attempt to relax. Hearing the sound of heavy hoofsteps getting closer, Jasper opened his eyes; turning his head to look at the approaching stallion. “So, when are we going to be leaving for Fillydelphia?”

Iron scratched the back of his head. “Well, they don’t have anymore trains running tonight, so we’ll have to rent a room at the hotel down the street. The conductor said that the rooms there were pretty cheap.”

“Well, I guess that’s not too bad. We’ll have to buy more tickets tomorrow, but we should still have enough until you get the job.”

“Aaaand that’s where the problem lies.”

Jasper didn’t like the tone in Iron’s voice. “Iron, what’s wrong?”

Iron let out a long sigh before speaking. “Ponyville...doesn’t have any trains that go to Fillydelphia. We would need to go back to Canterlot, and go to Fillydelphia from there. It would cost us about 40 bits just to get to Fillydelphia.”

“Iron...how many bits do we have in our savings?” Jasper asked, not liking where this conversation was going.

“All together, we probably have about 62 bits, minus what it’s going to take to sleep at the hotel, sooo probably about 55 or 57 bits.”

“A-about how many bits do you think we’ll need to rent a room for a couple days in Fillydelphia?”

“Including the price of food, more than 15 to 17 bits.” Jasper lowered his head and sighed. “Unless we want to go back home, we’re stuck here Jasper. At least until we can find a source of income to cover the costs.”

“W-w-what if the job is no longer available when you get there?! Then we would have wasted all those bits for nothing!”

“Well, it’s either that, or we just stay here and begin our new...”

Iron was suddenly interrupted by a commotion coming from the train. It got louder, and louder until the door on the train flew open. “I told you to unhand me you hooligan!” Said a certain indigo stallion that looked pretty familiar. The stallion was flanked on both sides by the trains workers. “I will not stand for this harassment!”

“Then don’t stand you bum,” said the worker on his left before the two of them tossed him off the train. The stallion landed face first; skidding a few feet before finally stopping. “That’s what you get for sneaking onto the train!”

The stallion got up and turned to the train. His face looked a bit worse for wear after his close encounter with the ground. “Excuse me! I had a box with me!” Iron and Jasper watched as a big, brown box flew from the train. It hit the stallion directly in the face; knocking him to the ground. A hoof quickly rose from the heap of a pony. “Thank you!”

Iron tapped his chin with his hoof as he thought. “Hey Jasper, doesn’t that pony look familiar?”

Jasper thought for a moment before his eyes got wide. “Oh sweet Celestia not him. He’s the last pony we need right now.”

“Now Jasper, just because we got off on the wrong hoof before, doesn’t mean he’s not a good pony. I’m sure if we go over there and talk to him he’ll end up being a very nice pony.”

Much to Jasper’s annoyance, Iron started walking over to the pony. Cursing his life, Jasper followed. As they reached the pony, he was busy looking through his box; counting to make sure nothing was missing. “Hello again.”

The stallion freaked out at the sound of Iron’s voice; quickly closing the box and lifting it up to be used as a weapon as he turned around. “Who are you?! Whatever you’re here about, I swear by Luna’s round, huggable ass it wasn’t me!”

“You swear by what now?” asked Jasper.

The stallion blinked before looking down. As his eyes fell upon Jasper, the look on his face slowly turned to one of horror. “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Jasper facepalmed. “Oh Celestia, not this a...”

Jasper was interrupted as he was, once again, beat upside the head by the big box. “DIE YOU FUDGE PACKING GECKO!!!”

Iron could only watch as the stallion continually slammed the box on top of Jasper in a vain attempt to squash him like a bug. After a few seconds, he let out a sigh before walking over to help. As the box was brought up, Iron grabbed the box out of the stallion’s magical hold.

The stallion continued to stare menacingly at Jasper for a couple seconds before he finally realised that his weapon was gone. He looked over at Iron and growled. “Hey! That’s mine!”

“Only if you stop beating Jasper with it.”

The stallion looked between his box, and Jasper before pouting and crossing his fore legs. “Fiiiiine.”

With a smile, Iron put the box on the ground next to the stallion. The stallion immediately took up the box in his magic; beating Jasper with it one last time before setting it down away from Iron.

Iron facehoofed before looking to Jasper. “You okay there Jasper?”

Jasper slowly raised a shaky claw into the air before speaking. “Grahghff llskdjhshd,” he garbled before his claw fell to the ground.

Iron looked back to the stallion who had a look of innocence on his face. “Okay, now that you’re no longer mauling my friend with that box of yours, what’s your name?”

The stallion put on a look of pride as he stood on his hind legs; placing his hooves on his hips in a ‘heroic’ posture. “My name is AJ. 20 time winner of the Most Awesomest of Awesome Ponies award.”

“And just who said you were that awesome?” Jasper asked sat up. He was rubbing the side of his head where the box had initially connected with him.

“The voices in my head,” AJ said with a completely straight face.

“Great. We’re dealing with a psycho pony now,” Jasper said under his breath.

“So what’s your story?” asked Iron. “How come you came here to Ponyville? Are you looking to start a new life too?”

AJ glared at Iron. “And just why do you wanna know that? Huh? Are you trying to compile knowledge on me so you can turn me into your slaver friends?”

Iron blinked as he looked at Jasper. Jasper was too busy facepalming to do much of anything else. “Uhh, no. Just curious is all.”

In an instant, a giant smile grew on AJ’s face. “Oh, okay! It’s kinda a funny story. You see...”

It was a stormy morning in Canterlot. The weather reports were calling for heavy rain all day long. To most, this meant being forced to stay inside without being able to go outside and play. To one certain indigo unicorn, this meant something completely different. “AJ, when are you going to get off your lazy rump and go get a job?”

AJ turned from his magazine to look at his older brother; an annoyed look on his face. “When I’m good and ready. Now shut the hell up. It’s my reading time. Besides, I can’t go walking around in this rain to look for a job, can I?”

“Hey, don’t be mad at me because I’m doing something with my life,” Sketch said with a grin on his face. Sketch was a brown pegasus stallion with a crimson mane and tail. His cutie mark was a sketch book and a pencil.

“Oh boy, drawing. Any old loser can draw.”

“So what does that make you? You can’t even draw a circle; even with the help of your magic,” teased Sketch.

“Silence you vacuous whore!” shouted AJ; getting in Sketch’s face.

“Oh calm down you spaz. Anyway, I just came up to tell you that lunch will be ready soon.” Sketch turned to leave the room. “Oh, and one more thing. Dad said he got you an interview down at Shipping and Stuff tomorrow morning. Try not to mess this one up.”

“And you can tell dad that I refuse to work for those racist fucks.”

Sketch facehoofed. “How many times do I have to tell you that they didn’t hire Nuven because she threatened to crush Mr. Ship-It’s balls like grapes if she wasn’t hired. NOT because they’re racist against Zebras.”

“You keep telling yourself that.” AJ’s eyes became slits as he looked around the room. “I’m on to their conspiracy.”

“…You’re crazy.”

“And you had sex with a dog.”

“Hey, she may not be attractive to you, but Sparkle Light has won many beauty pageants. She’s one of the most beautiful mares in Equestria and I’m lucky she chose me.”

AJ just stared at Sketch for a moment. “You know she probably had a penis when she was born, right? I hear there are some pretty good surgeons out there.”

Sketch glared at AJ. “Say that again. I dare you.”

A bright smile formed on AJ’s face. “Gladly. I’ll even say it slowly so you can hear me this time. You…are…married…to…a…tranny.”

Sketch was furious. He would allow AJ to make fun of him. They were brothers; it’s what brothers do, but if he ever dared to make fun of Sparkle, there would be hell to pay. Realizing what he was about to do, Sketch stopped himself and took a deep breath. “You know what? You’re not worth my time.”

“Oh sure, run away. Score one for me! I always knew I was awesome, and you just proved my point.”

Sketch snickered. “Oh, you think you won this?” AJ nodded with a prideful smile. “Well, I have yet to begin to fight!” Sketch dove forward, tackling AJ to the floor.

“GAH!!! HELP!!! I’M BEING MOLESTED!!! RAPE, RAAAAAPE!!!” screamed AJ as he flailed his legs in the air.

“I’ll take those.” Sketch bent down and grabbed the glasses off AJ’s head before climbing off.

“Hey, HEY!!! Give those back!” AJ got himself up and started looking around the room.

“Hmmm, nah. I think I’ll keep them. As long as I have these…” Sketch brought his mouth up to AJ’s ear. “I…win.”

“AHA!!!” AJ wildly swung a hoof, completely missing Sketch and hitting his lamp. “Damnit! You owe me a new…whatever the hell that was.”

With a smug smile, Sketch walked to the door. “If you want them back, you’ll have to find your way downstairs.”

“Found you! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” AJ began charging, head down, in an attempt to gore Sketch. He was stopped as he ran head first into a wall; embedding his horn into the wall. He was stumbling around on unsteady legs as he pulled his horn from the wall. “Thhhhat wash nnnot you.” He fell to the floor in a heap.

********************

“Tell me…why am I doing this again?” asked AJ as his dad brushed a hoof through his mane to make sure it was neat. He was also forced to wear a tie for the interview.

“Because you need to get off your lazy ass and get a job,” Mark said in a stern tone. “You do know that everypony thinks you’re just lazy scum, and that we should just boot you out. To tell you the truth, I’m getting sick of your freeloading too.” He looked at the clock. “Alright, you should leave now. Mr. Ship-it likes it if you’re early.”

“I still don’t know why you’re making me work for that racist…”

“If you finish that sentence, I swear to Celestia, I will geld you with my bare hooves,” Mark said with a glare.

AJ cowered away slightly at the threat. He couldn’t lose his balls. He needed his balls. Without them, How could he clop? “Y-y-yes sir.”

“Good, now go.” He watched AJ walk out the door. “Just remember. I put in a good word for you. Don’t make me look bad.”

********************

“He’s in here,” said the police pony. She unlocked the jail cell and opened it.

Mark’s cold face turned even colder when he saw AJ’s form sleeping on the cell bed. In the middle of the floor sat the now burnt tie he had been wearing for the interview. He walked up to the bed and glared down at the pony in front of him. He turned around and readied his legs. “WAKE UP!!!” Mark kicked his back legs out; bucking AJ in the kidneys.

“AAAHHHHHH FUCKING HELL!!!” AJ rolled around in pain until he eventually rolled off the bed. “Ow.” Opening his eyes, he saw his dad glaring down at him. “Oh, hey dad!”

“You. Home. NOW!!!”

“Okay. That bed was getting kinda uncomfortable anyway. Can’t wait to go to bed in my actual bed. Mark kicked him again. “OWW!!! Okay, I’m going! Jeeze, you act like I’m the bad guy here.”

“You ARE the bad guy here!” shouted Mark.

“Oh yea? How?”

“Not only did you throw a cinder block at Mr. Ship-it’s head, you also burned his office down! I’ll be lucky if I don’t lose my job once he wakes up from his coma.”

“At least we can take solace in knowing that there was nothing we could have done to prevent this fortunate series of events,” AJ said with a smile on his face.

Mark’s already red coat burned with anger. “HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!” He gave AJ another kick to get him moving.

This continued all the way back to the house. Everytime AJ would stop to comment on what would happen, he would receive a kick to get him moving again. “You know, you’re being awfully pushy today dad.”

Mark kicked him again. “Shut up!”

Once they got to the house AJ noticed something. “Hey, what are all my things doing on the street like that?”

Mark snorted loudly. “From this moment forward, you are no longer part of this family.”

“Yea, yea, whatever. Look, if you need me, I’ll be asleep in my room. Hold my calls.”

As AJ tried to walk into the house, he was stopped by Mark’s magic. “You don’t seem to understand what I’m saying.” He forced AJ to look him in the eyes. “You…don’t live here anymore. You…will never step hoof into this house ever again. If I ever do see you in this house again, I’ll kill you myself.” Holding AJ in place, Mark walked into the house. After crossing the threshold, he turned to look at AJ again. “I’ll see you in hell.” He slammed the door.

AJ brushed his coat off and looked at all his stuff with a confused look. He looked back at the house and blinked. “Uhh, what?” He sat there for a minute thinking before a smile grew on his face. “Oooooooh. I understand. This is all one big joke. Why, any minute now, dad will open the door and welcome me inside. Probably have a new comic book waiting for me too. I’ll just sit here and wait then.”

--1 hour later—

“Yup. Any minute now that door will open to let me in.”

--2 hour’s later—

“I’m hungry.”

--4 hours later—

“Ya know, I’m beginning to think that he was being serious here. I’ll give him a little more time. Just in case.”

--8 hours later--

“…Okay. You know what, fuck you too dad! I can take the hint! You don’t want me around anymore! Fine! See if I care! I’ll go somewhere else that’s ten times better than this place, and it will have blackjack, and hookers! In fact, forget the blackjack!”

He turned to the pile of his stuff. “But I won’t be able to take everything. I can only take the necessities.” He began digging around in the pile; looking for one very specific thing. “Ah HA! There you are.” From the pile, he pulled a box labeled ‘KEAP OWT.’ Opening it, he saw what he was looking for. “Oh thank Celestia I still have you!. What would I ever do without you?” He stroked the box lovingly before giving it a small kiss. Closing the box, he placed it on his back, tying it down with a torn bed sheet as he walked in a random direction.

“Aaaaand that’s about it. I climbed onto the first train I saw and here I am.” He just stared at Iron and Jasper with a big smile on his face.

Both of them just continued to gawk at AJ for a moment before Jasper put a fake smile on. “Well, that certainly was...interesting.”

“Sounds like you’re in the same boat as us then. we’re currently without a place to live too.” A soft smile grew on Iron’s face. “Why don’t you come...”

In an instant, Jasper leapt up; slamming a claw over Iron’s mouth. He put on a fake smile as he looked at AJ. “One second. Me and Iron need to...talk...over there...without you.” Jasper motioned to Iron to walk over where AJ couldn’t hear them.

Nodding, Iron followed the little dragon. “What’s up?”

“Iron, I know what you’re going to say, but no. We need to ditch this pony.”

Iron cocked an eyebrow. “And just why is that?”

“Because he’s fucking insane! That’s why!”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say. He’s probably just...misunderstood.”

Jasper looked at Iron with an unamused glare. “He just admitted to breaking a cinder block over another ponies head and putting him in a coma, that’s attempted murder, and burning down his place of business, that’s arson. He’s nothing but trouble, and I don’t want to be anywhere near that walking disaster zone.”

Iron sighed. “Okay, I can’t deny that he’s a little...crazy, but that’s kinda why I think he should come with us.”

“Excuse me?”

“What do you think would be better for this town? A pony like him just randomly wandering around to cause havoc wherever he pleases, or have you and I watch over him to make sure he doesn’t get into too much trouble.”

Jasper put a claw up to his chin as he thought for a moment. He made sure to weigh all the options. “Yeeeaaaaaa no. I still think we should ditch him.”

Iron rolled his eyes before turning to AJ. “Hey, we were going to go get a room at the hotel down the street. If you’re interested, you could join us.”

AJ fixed Iron with a suspicious look. “Are you trying to get me alone or something? Cause I have to tell you, I don’t swing that way.”

Iron shook his head. “Neither do I. I’m just extending the invitation. You’re more than welcome to tag along.” Iron began walking towards the hotel. “Come on Jasper, let’s go. We need to start looking for a more permanent place to stay tomorrow.”

Jasper sighed in defeat. “Yea, okay.” Jasper began slowly following Iron. As he did, all the events of the day ran through his head. Even with all the crap he had to deal with at the hatchery, this had probably been one of the most stressful days he’s had to live through. His thoughts were interrupted as a giant yawn escaped from his mouth. “Guess I’m more tired than I thought. Hey Iron, could I ride on your back till we got to the room?”

“Normally I’d say yes, but uh...” As Jasper looked at Iron, his jaw slowly dropped. AJ was sitting on Iron’s back, riding him like a horse. The box was sitting right behind him. “It’s kinda occupied already.”

Jasper just continued to stare blankly at AJ until it was too much. He donned a black outfit, and wrapped a black bandana around his head, making him look like a ninja. Striking a pose, he let out a war cry. Standing in front of him was AJ. He was wearing a pirate’s outfit, and was laughing a big, evil, belly laugh. Letting out another war cry, Jasper leapt forward, a sword in each claw, to rid himself of this annoyance. AJ pulled out a gun as he...

“Onward my faithful steed! I require my rest!” AJ said; interrupting Jasper’s fantasy. He pointed a hoof forward as he used his magic to break a branch off a tree to whip Iron in the flank to get him to go faster.

Not appreciating the slap to the flank, Iron rolled his eyes before bucking his hips; sending AJ and the box to the ground with a thud. “Well, looks like there’s a spot open after all,” Iron said as he lowered himself so Jasper could climb up.

A tired smile grew on Jasper’s face as he walked up to Iron. After Jasper was on, Iron picked up his suitcase and placed it next to Jasper. He looked at AJ who was brushing the dust off his coat. “I don’t appreciate being used like an animal. Just keep that in mind in the future.”

“But you are an animal,” said AJ.

“Technicalities. Come on, it’s getting late. We should get some sleep.” Without another word, Iron continued down the street.

After lifting his box onto his back, AJ followed. He couldn’t let his new meal ticket leave him behind.