Explicit Sexual Content contained in this chapter (begins at the break)

*~Creeeek~*

The aging metal of the hinges faintly croaked as Pinkie Pie slowly eased the front door of Sugarcube Corner open, juuust enough to peek her head through. Her eyes frantically scanned the room before her. A large, unmarked, cardboard box held tightly to her chest.

She felt her heart quicken as she eyed her two landlords, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, in the process of unloading the new shipment of baking supplies. The girl’s grip on her package tightened. She was soooo close! Her apartment was on the second floor. But they were standing Right. Next. to the flip-floppin’ staircase!

‘Damn you, Pedestrian Postal Service with your quick and efficient public service!’ She mentally shouted to the heavens.

The girl took a deep breath. Okay! She could handle this. She could handle this! She could handle this.

Okay... How could she handle this?!

They’re too close. They’d see her if she tried to slip by. The Cakes were lovely people. Real friendly. Too friendly for the situation she was in.

She knew exactly how it’d go down:

They’ll be all: Pinkie, what’s in the box?

And she’ll be all: I can’t tell you.

And they’ll think it’s something dangerous, or illegal, or dangerous and illegal!

And they’ll throw her out on the street right then and there!!! Or they'll call the cops! And she'll have to go to trial! Where all her friends’ll testify against her! And she'll have to serve 8-10 years in federal prison before getting granted early parole for good behavior! And- Oh... They’re gone...

Huh...

Gleefully, Pinkie Pie bounced her way up the stairs. “Gummy, I’m hoooooome!” Pinkie Pie sang as she threw open the door.

The purple eyed gecko sat motionless on the thick branch that spanned his lamp-heated enclosure. Gummy blinked, not even looking in Pinkie’s direction.

“’What’s in the box’? Um, nothing important!”

Gummy continued to stare unblinkingly into the distance.

“No, really. It’s suuuper boooring stuff, like tax forms and spread sheets, hour-long vacation slideshows from distant relatives I have to at least pretend to respect, you know.”

“…” The lizard blinked, turning his head a fraction of a degree.

“Mmmmmm nyoh! You know I can’t say no to your puppy dog face! Fine,” she said, taking a seat on the floor, plopping the box down in front of her, “but you can’t tell anybody else.”

“…”

“Pinkie promise?”

“…”

“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie Pie beamed as she flipped the plain cardboard box upside down, letting a flashier cardboard box slip out onto the soft, carpeted floor. Featured on the box, in big block capitals, were the words ‘CUNT STUFFER 3.0’ with an image of the phallic object taking up the remaining space.

The Cunt Stuffer 3.0 was the newest model from the Cadence’s Bliss® line of female ‘personal appliances.’ It certainly wasn’t cheap—things might be a little tight until payday—but this little baby had all the features to back up the price tag. A six-inch dildo with lifelike internal heating, vibration action, ejaculation, the whole nine yards!

Pinkie Pie stared at the image on the box, feeling her mouth—as well as some other areas—begin to water before Gummy caught her eye. “What? Don’t give me that look, mister! I’m a woman with needs! They’ve actually been getting kinda stronger lately. Mama needs some stronger equipment to match.” Pinkie began to pick at the tape holding the new box shut.

“…”

Pinkie blushed. “Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I do intend on trying it out right away.” She pulled the dildo out from the box. It was heavier than she was expecting. She ran her hands along the head and shaft. It was soft, like touching real—albeit room-temperature—skin, all the way until she reached the base, which was hard, standard plastic with a few small buttons and a dial labeled ‘intensity.’ The dildo was bubblegum pink—pink was kind of her thing. There was the option of a fleshy peach color, but she decided against it; the pictures on the website were kinda uncanny valley. Pinkie slipped the provided batteries into the dildo’s plastic base. The button made a satisfying click as she pressed it in. “Yipe!” the phallus vibrated violently in her grasp, tingling her hands like an electric current, making her drop it to the ground on reflex. Pinkie Pie scrambled to turn it off, silencing the loud buzzing with the push of a button. She checked the intensity dial. “Ugh! What sick person would crank the dial up to max before shipping it?!” she said, turning the dial down to a 1/10.

“…”

“Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? No. I’ll be testing this out in my bedroom, alone, thank you very much.” Pinkie said, plopping the dildo back into its box. She got to her feet, lifting the box off the floor, before making her way to her room. Pinkie plopped the box down on her bed before closing the door behind her. The knob clicked as she locked the bedroom door. The only other occupant of her apartment lacked opposable thumbs, but why risk it?

Giddy with anticipation, the pink-haired girl began to strip, shedding her top, up and over her head, in one smooth motion. She stuck her thumbs into her underwear’s waistband, slipping her skirt and panties to the floor in one swoop. Finally, she unclasped her baby blue bra, letting her funbags breathe free as the fabric fell to the floor.

Pinkie reached for the box on her bed, only to catch a glimpse of her own reflection. She turned to face the full-body mirror on her wall, admiring her nude figure. Though she wouldn’t necessarily call herself ‘skinny,’ she metabolized her sugary, sweets-filled diet remarkably well, with only a little extra weight to her frame that did nothing to damper her subtle, yet alluring, hourglass figure. Pinkie found herself staring at her own breasts; firm C-cups with perfect, perky pink nipples. She felt a tingling in her crotch, this was turning her on much more than usual. She took her breasts into her hands, groping them roughly. Pinkie Pie bit her lip to suppress a moan as she pinched at her nipples. Without thinking, her hand slipped southward to play with her clit. Her pleasure trance was broken by a firm slap to her cheek. “Hey! What’s the big idea!?” Pinkie barked at her left hand. The hand turned away from her, pointing to the Cunt Stuffer box on her bed before returning to eye level. “Ooooh, right. That. Good call, Lefty Lucy; maybe a bit gentler of a reminder, next time,” she said, rubbing the still stinging cheek.

Pinkie Pie fished under her bed, pulling out her special shoebox. From the box, she grabbed her lube, tissues, and corded egg vibrator juuust in case, before sliding the shoebox back under where it belonged. Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, Pinkie pulled the dildo from the box as she snapped the lid of the lube bottle open. She tipped the bottle over the pink cock, but paused before anything could pour out. “You know,” she began, talking to herself as she often did. “I’ve never actually seen a dick up close… I kinda wanna put it in my mouth.” She snapped the bottle closed, putting it down on her nightstand before giving the penis head a tentative lick. Flavorless, but the texture felt good on her tongue. Pinkie flipped on the heating switch at the sex toy’s base as she ran her tongue all over its tip.

In just 20 seconds, the object in her grasp heated to a perfect human body temperature. If it felt good to lick before, hoo boy, the new warmth of the silky-smooth faux skin against her tongue was borderline intoxicating. Pinkie slipped the toy into her mouth, bobbing her head in an amateur imitation of the porn videos she’d frequent. Sucking dick was kinda fun! Pinkie stuck two fingers into her Pie, her cock sucking getting her too aroused for her own good. The girl continued to jill-off—sliding the dick past her lips in time with her fingers—for a few minutes before she eventually flew too close to the sun.

The pink-haired girl shifted to holding her head steady as she thrust the dildo into her mouth, fantasizing about getting pulled by the hair as her partner humped her face. Deepthroating, it turned out, not as easy as it looked online. The toy’s head just barely kissed the entrance of her throat, causing her gag reflex to sound all the alarms. Pinkie Pie panicked, causing her finger to slip, landing on a button she’d yet to test out. The girl’s eyes went wide as she felt ropes of warm liquid shoot into her mouth, most of it landing square on her tongue. Pinkie quickly pulled the dildo from her lips, flinching as it spurt its remaining load onto her face. Pinkie reached for her tissues, spitting what she could into the wad she had grabbed.

“Wh-What the hell?! I didn’t even fill it yet!” Pinkie Pie picked up the box. Listed among the features was: ‘Hot fake semen magically created. No fill! No hassle!’ Pinkie had to swallow what cum remained on her tongue. “Ugh, so salty…” The girl opened her bedroom door, having to pass Gummy’s cage on her way to the kitchen, completely nude with semen on her face. “I don’t wanna hear it, buster.”

One glass of palate-cleansing chocolate milk later, Pinkie Pie was back in her room, ready for the main event. She sat in the center of her bed, feeling the cool silk of the comforter cradle her butt and kiss the bottoms of her feet as she spread her legs open. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest as she ran the tip up and down her tight lower lips. She was excited, but also kinda nervous… nervouscited? Yeah; she was nervouscited. The pink phallus was all lubed up, as was she, but she’d never stuck anything nearly as big up her hoo-ha before. Would it even fit? Pinkie Pie took a deep breath. Only one way to find out. With minimal effort, Pinkie Pie popped the slippery head into her quim. Her eyes bulged. Sweet Jeepers! Not only was it an extremely snug fit for her tight, virgin pussy, that body heat feature made all the difference! It felt so good, she just wanted to melt! Unfortunately still a vertebrate, Pinkie did the next best thing: letting her back flop down onto the mattress as she pushed the dildo further inside. Her head and shoulders were propped up by her obnoxiously thick and fluffy pillow, giving her a decent view of what she was doing downstairs.

Her body unconsciously clenched around the intruder as it bottomed out inside her, making her feel so deliciously full. She was surprised it didn’t leave a visible bulge in her pelvis, as it felt like she was being stretched to her limit. After adjusting to its girth, like breaking in a new pair of shoes, Pinkie began to move the toy, letting its subtly veiny length slip frictionlessly past her tight lower lips.

“Haah!” Pinkie moaned, too overwhelmed with sinful excitement to worry about volume. “Oh shit. This is what I’ve been missing?!” she said with heated breath, not daring to halt her toe-curling thrusts. As amazing as it felt, she needed something to schlick to. Porn? Nah. She wanted the true ‘getting boned’ experience; watching porn during sex would just be rude! She had to think up something steamy on her own. Her go-to usual was her good friend and party planner rival, Cheese Sandwich. Nice, funny, ambitious, a little on the lankier side, but Pinkie was never too into bulging biceps. She pictured a nude cheese on top of her, his dick pistoning in and out of her pussy. But it felt wrong. Was Cheese too nice and carefree to make the fantasy work? Nah! She’d used Cheese as mastur-bait plenty of times… maybe she just needed more juice. Pinkie reluctantly clicked the small button at the dildo’s base.

“Yeee!” Pinkie squeaked through gritted teeth as the toy sprang to life. This was level 1!? She closed her eyes, trying to keep that image of Cheese alive in her mind as the vibrating dick tickled her deepest depths, but something just wasn’t right; it wasn’t doing it for her. Pinkie used her other hand to start fondling herself for an extra kick of stimulation. Her tit felt great in her hand. You know who had rocking honkers? Fluttershy. Hoo mama! She always wore really modest clothing, but no piece of cloth on God’s green Earth could hide the fact she was packing! Wait… why was she thinking about tits? And why was it turning her on so much? Pinkie’s pace below the belt quickened; she was so horny, she just decided to lean-in to this line of thinking, painting a vivid mental picture of her getting rawed by her shy friend’s thick avian cock-

‘Wait, she’s got a cock now?’

‘Well duh! How else could she be fucking me?’

‘With a strap-on.’

‘Strap-ons in a masturbation fantasy? How lame is that?’

‘Quiet! Both of me! You’re ruining the moment!’

-She was butt-naked, just like Pinkie, with her large, yellow-feathered wingspan on full wingbonery display, her breath heavy and her face flush as she pounded her pelvis into the party girl’s pussy over and over! Sure, she looked shy, but she fucked like an animal, pinning Pinkie into submission as she violated her! She pretended her own hand was Fluttershy’s, pinching her sensitive nipples as her thrusting grew more and more violent!

“Sh-Shit! Something’s coming!” Pinkie blurted. “Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh shit.” Pinkie repeated over and over as the pressure built up in her loins. Pinkie’s hand left her breast to violently diddle her pelvic joy-buzzer “Cum inside me, Shy!” she begged, readying her finger on the dildo’s special button. “Pinkie needs some cream for this Pie!” Pinkie placed her hand over her mouth, muffling her growing cries of pure ecstasy, pretending that it was Fluttershy’s, trying to keep her new plaything quiet. Pinkie’s back arched violently as orgasm finally took her, moaning hard into ‘Fluttershy’s’ hand as Pinkie pressed the button. Pinkie threw her head back—pressing her pink, fluffy hair deep into her pillow—as her womb was filled with Fluttershy’s hot cum. It pulsed inside of her, each one delivering a new jet of spunk into her quaking pussy. She came for minutes, long after the dildo’s ejaculation came to an end, she could feel her lower muscles contract over and over, each one sending another firework of bliss off in her brain.

Eventually, her orgasm subsided. She pulled the dildo from her pussy, letting out a sigh of satisfaction as she laid, thoroughly bred, on her plush, comforting mattress. “That was awesome…” she said dreamily as she turned off the vibration, letting it fall onto her bed so she could properly bask in her afterglow.

Pinkie sat back up when the fog of pleasure finally faded and something zipped immediately to her mind. Why did she just cum to Fluttershy? And why was the mere thought turning her on again? She’d never been into girls before, let alone her super close friends… Then again, that orgasm was something else! So much better than anything she’d felt while thinking about a guy.

“Guess I’m into dickgirls now… Oh well!” Pinkie Pie said, grabbing the Cunt Stuffer and turning the vibration dial up to a 6/10. “Let’s see how Dashie would fuck me!”

Author's Note

So I maaay have gone a little overboard with Pinkie Pie’s insanity… whether her hand is actually sentient or she's just being silly is something even I don't know for sure. In a world slightly more grounded in reality than Equestria, I think Pinkie Pie being an Animaniacs-style cartoon character is a perfect fit for her.

Not that anyone’s asking, but hymens: not a thing in this world.

Remember when I said anything after season 3 wasn’t Pedestria canon? I’m making an exception for Cheese Yankovich Sandwich. Pinkie Pride is my favorite episode and the fact they canonically get married is too sweet for her not to have a crush on him!

Pinkie best pony.