Alicorn of Music

by Elu

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, Comedy, Profanity
Length: 11730

A human lover of music ends up in Equestria as an alicorn and finds out it doesn't have metal, his favorite genre. He is not fine with it.

The story is on a prolonged hiatus. It will be updated again, but the date is uncertain.

A human lover of music ends up in Equestria as a young alicorn, and his favorite genre of music - metal - doesn't exist among ponies. Having always wanted to create music of his own, he sets on to remedy the situation. He might not be the best songwriter or the best player, but he now has a chance to become who he always wanted to be - a professional musician. But first, he needs to adjust to his new pony life. Putting his own past behind him and getting used to the new society will certainly take time, especially since no one knows who he is or where he came from. He'll have to hide his real identity and the truth about his body while trying to find a place of his own in Equestria.

Nevertheless, metal will be brought to Equestria and the whole wide world, one way or another.

This is a rewrite of a story that is now unpublished.

Join the Discord to discuss the story and get to know other people who like my stories!

Support me on Boosty if you'd like! Joining any tier will grant you access to two chapters per week, as well as access to chapters already posted ahead of FimFiction.

Published 2021-02-03 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-14 08:02:45 UTC

Prologue: How Did This Happen?

Author's Note

This fic is written in first person and present tense, the latter being an experiment to see if I can manage it. I know it's not something plenty of people like to read, but I decided to try my hand at it anyway.

Prologue: How Did This Happen?

I lie in the grass, and every part of my body - or at least parts that I can feel, and I swear there are extra - hurt. My muscles ache as if I've run a marathon while squatting and doing pull-ups all at the same time, and my head hurts like hell too. I groaned, and the sound made my pain intensify briefly before receding. I feel like one giant bruise and I sincerely hope I haven't broken anything...

Last thing I remember was spray-painting stuff on a wall that really needed some colors and... That's it. Was I hit in the head and then beat up? Fuck me, that'd be horrible. It wouldn't be the first time I get hurt, but this one's by far the worst. Now that the pain has subsided a bit, I know that I haven't broken anything, and I'm glad for that. I have always been really resilient, haven't even broken a tooth in my life, but it's always a relief when I'm fine after a nasty fight or shit. Yeah, I live this time, but everything still hurts. I really hope I won't have to visit a hospital, I can't afford the shitty fucking fees. Because of some dipshit politicians who never had to struggle for money, I have to endure the pain and hope that I don't have internal bleeding or shit. Fuck Republicans, for real. I'd like to see them try not to whine when they have no money and need to get treatment.

Now that I don't feel like throwing up, I can try to feel what's going on. There is... smell of grass? And birds flying around? An insect buzzes right past my ear, which flicks-

Wait wait, what the actual fuck? Ears don't flick, do they?

I open my eyes and fucking hell!

***

After who knows how much time, I've come to a conclusion that I'm officially fucking bonkers. This is some kinda... psychosis or shit. Delusions, who the fuck knows...

Facts are: I have a muzzle, it's covered in fur. I have a pair of ears on top of my head that can move. I have four fucking legs, a tail, and a pair of honest to reality wings. Oh, and a horn too.

I've never taken drugs, really, but what else can explain this shit? This ain't a dream, that I'm sure of. I just know it's not.

I closed my eyes. This... this is a bit too much. Where is my body? Why am I trapped in a horse body? Why am I a fucking magic horse?

How the fuck do I get in such situations...

I need to think at least a bit positively here. Horses are beautiful, so that's what I've going for me. Horses... are generally nice? Also somewhat intelligent? Shit, I'm definitely still intelligent despite being trapped in a body of a horse. Haven't lost my marbles yet, not stuck in a cycle of food-sleep-fuck. If I were a regular horse, I wouldn't be able to think like a human, right?

I think, therefore I am, and I am... a horse.

Woo-wee.

Well... not the worst thing in the world, I guess? Not the best, sure, but not the worst by a long, long fucking shot. Yeah, thinking real positive here.

After a long while of lying on the ground and keeping myself from going nuts because of this mindfuck, I finally decided to stand up and face whatever the fuck's going on and wherever the fuck I am. Despite having four legs, it isn't actually easier to stand up. Like, when I usually stand up from lying on the ground and shit, I use my hands to help me. Here, no hands, no fingers, none of that useful stuff. Sure, moving my, uh, front pair of legs felt kinda familiar in a weird way, but I don't have shoulders anymore, so it's weird. Do horses have shoulders? I don't think they do. They can't raise their front legs above their head, I think. Why would they, right, when they don't climb trees?

And now I'm standing on wobbly legs. After a few moments, I finally stabilize myself as much as I can in this new - and hopefully temporary - body. Much better. So, let's inspect my body, and the first thing I'm going to check is whether I'm a boy or a girl. I bent my neck and looked between my legs, and yep, that would be a dick. Two balls hanging in there and a shaft. Without a shadow of a doubt, that's a cock if I've ever seen one. Good, otherwise I would have an even stronger case of body dysmorphia. Or was it dysphoria? My mind isn't really working well at this moment, so let's drop that and focus on the other stuff.

Now, let's take a look at my back again because wings. And yeah, my neck was really flexible, bet I'm the throat goat now. Anyway, I can actually look at my back now, so that's cool. So yeah, wings... that's actually great, I'll be able to fly! Unless they're, like, purely decorative or shit. I don't think they're for swimming because, well, feathers, but who the fuck knows, definitely not me right now.

I'd think I was a pegasus, but there's this horn on my head. It feels weird, kinda electric but also not really? I wonder what it actually does. Was it purely for, like, attracting a mate or something? The longest horn picks the first... horse woman, girl, whatever? I guess having a horn is cool, and being a flying unicorn must get me some nice shit, right?

Whatever I am, I'm sure I'm not just a regular horse. My face is not human, yeah, but it's not really like a horse face either. My fur is pristine white, a nice snowy kind of color, and my hair and tail are both fiery-red, which is actually fucking awesome. I got my hair colored a few times, and it was great having something like vibrant blue or purple or pink, but I think fiery red suits me just fine. At least it's not the boring brown I was born with.

Okay, I'm some sort of magical horse-unicorn-pegasus-whatever, but that's not gonna help me figure out what's going on aside from, y'know, having been transformed into this. Where am I now, I wonder?

All I can see is grass, trees, flowers, more grass, more trees... Overall, a summertime wilderness scenery. Ain't anything in American South, that I'm sure of, and the weather feels like summer time, not the middle of fall like, uh, when I remembered being a human last. Not a sign of fallen leaves - except maybe under the grass. It's green everywhere too, no reds, browns, or yellows at all. The air is nice and warm, no chill to it at all - it's definitely summertime here, wherever here is. So, I'm in the middle of who knows where, I'm a winged horse with a horn, and... I've not an idea of what to do!

Oh wait, I think I can see some stuff lying under a nearby bush. Let's take a look... I take one step, and it's weird. Really weird. But manageable. All I need to do is remember how I used to walk on all fours as a kid from time to time. Plus I need to remember how horses walk. I've seen that enough times, so reproducing that shouldn't be too difficult, right?

Step two, and I'm closer to my goal. I also need to be mindful of my wings, but at least they feel familiar. They're like a misplaced pair of deformed arms, which sounds fucked up, but it is what it is. Well, it would probably be brutal if Lovecraft had written it, but I don't look like a madness-inducing monstrosity, thankfully, so yeah. I just need to fold my wings, and that can be done by imitating how I tried to look like a rooster as a kid. Hands to shoulders... Yep, yep, that's definitely familiar, but weird as all hell because I now have feathers. Man, it'll take quite some time until I learn how to fly. But before I can fly, I need to learn to run. And before that, I need to learn how to walk. I think I'm doing a good job at it so far.

Step three, much better. Still weird, but everything will be weird for quite a long time, I bet. Unless I suddenly find myself drooling in a dumpster or in jail or in hospital. But let's not think of any of those three awful options, I need to think positive. I'm a horse, I have a shiny coat, a glorious mane, and a long cock. I'm a flying horse, I will be able to travel without concern for terrain. I'm a flying horse with a horn, and... Well, I'm not sure how useful my horn is. It's straight, it's reasonably long, so... It just looks good?

Step four, five, six, seven- although I probably counted them incorrectly because I now have four legs instead of two- aaand I'm here. Oh right, that's a hoodie, and it appears to be my hoodie. Just a simple black hoodie with nothing special going on. I usually wear a t-shirt underneath with one of the bands I listen to, but... Not a single t-shirt in sight. That's a bummer, but I'm not sure I can even wear them anymore. Too many limbs, and a pair of them grows out of my back now, which will make lying on it really awkward.

However, I can try putting the hoodie on. How do I do it, though? Despite having six limbs, none of them have fingers, rendering them pretty much useless for picking stuff up, let alone putting anything on and using the zipper.

I really wish I had a pair of regular hands just about now. The ol' reliable five-digit tool that allowed us to use more tools and eventually go from apes to humans. Horses had no chance to build their own civilization. No hands, no civilization.
Not that it's a bad thing. Horses don't need civilization, they just munch on grass, sleep, and fuck. They don't need to worry about things like climate change or homelessness or whatever. Well, they live their lives in peace as much as they can when some ugly bald ape isn't trying to break their backs. Nice creatures, overall.

Anyway, I went off on a tangent there. I should be thinking of other things, and for once... where did my hoodie even come from? Its appearance makes me think something really, really damn weird happened to me. But I'll sort this out after I put the hoodie on. I'm feeling a bit exposed, being nude and all.

Wait, I can feel something, a sensation inside my... Horn? A pressure of sorts, like, uh... when you want to pee. Not a great analogy, but it works. Something wants to get out of the horn, and the sensation grows stronger when I look at the hoodie and think about picking it up. Can I... allow that pressure to escape through something? I wonder how to let it flow...

And there were the floodgates. An instant relief washed over me, and the hoodie was wrapped in some strange aura colored... a mix of orange-red and blue? Man, this looks bonkers. This aura is... a liquid gas? Man, I've no idea what's going on, but the very same aura is around my horn as well, and I can feel the fabric of the hoodie. How?

Man, oh man... I'm fucking amazed and terrified at the same time. Seriously, what the fuck is going on with me, this world, and everything else? It's all... so weird I can't even properly describe it. How... how did it all come to be, for fuck's sake?

Think positive. What I just achieved looks like some sort of... magic. I can touch my hoodie, but can I lift it up? With but a tiny bit of effort, I lifted it up. Wow... I feel like I'm holding it, but not like hands would feel, it's... A uniform sense of... pressure, texture... something like that.

This... this is telekinesis. I'm moving a thing with my mind. Sure, there's this weird aura, but it's not that noticeable. And the two auras don't connect, which definitely makes it telekinesis.

So, that is what the horn is for! Of fucking course! It's for using magic! I wonder what else I can do with it... Maybe teleportation? Spells to make impossible stuff possible? Conjure a few golems to protect me or do other tasks for me? Man, the possibilities, the possibilities! Maybe I can, like, summon a, a, a succubus and have sex, and... Man, this is amazing! So amazing I stuttered in my own thoughts!

But first, let's try putting on the hoodie. I lift one of my front legs and put it in the sleeve, then do the same with the other one, and... Wait, that's interesting. Once I finished putting the legs into the sleeves and let the hoodie cover my back, my wings disappeared. I can feel they're there, but at the same time, they're not, and the hoodie is definitely not nearly big enough to hide them so well, making it look like they were never there in the first place.

As soon as I took off the hoodie, the wings manifested themselves on my back. And as soon as I put it back on, they disappeared. Oh, there's more! A pair of stylized wings appear on the back of the hoodie as a print! That's really interesting.

Alright, let's also check if there's anything in the pockets. In the right one, there's a pair of small Bluetooth earphones. Yep, that's a familiar pair. Really handy, and still very good quality of sound despite the size. Unfortunately, they're entirely useless without a music player or a phone. I also don't see or feel any charging station, so they will likely die in a few hours if I do use them somehow. That's a shame...

In the left pocket, there's my smartphone. I usually keep it in my pants, but I'm glad it's now here instead. I pulled it out and took a closer look. Yep, definitely mine. There are some small scratches, but otherwise it's still good after years of use. It's just some Chinese no-name Android device; reasonably cheap and also really good after a root and a new, bloatware- and adware-free system. Decent camera, good battery life, and sixty-four gigabytes of internal storage along with double that in additional micro-SD, plenty enough for me. And, once again, no charger.

I pressed a button on the side of the phone to enable it, and... Huh, it appears my phone is charging despite there being no charger attached, and I'm reasonably sure my device doesn't support wireless charging. But hey, good to know it won't die unless I mess up! Photos, videos, music, some games, everything is as I left it last time I checked. My earphones are connected, and at one hundred percent charge. Last time I took a look, they were at eighty or so. I guess they're also infinitely charged? Well, alright then!

Actually... Let's try this. I used my magic to swipe the lock screen and, hey, it worked! Okay, let's turn on the camera. It appears to be in working order, so let's see the frontal camera. I tap the button, and now I see my face from the front.

...

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Phah! Hoo boy, what a silly face! Just... just perfect. Fucking hell, I needed that laugh. I took a photo of my face for later use - maybe I'll be able to post it on Facebook or whatever someday. This stupid face deserves to be mad into a painting, a clay figure, a statue, a 3D model, and everything else.

Fun aside, I have quite a long face. Why the long face? Because I'm a horse, that's why! Although I don't look quite like a horse. I'd say it's a mix between a human and a horse, but not in a creepy way. I'd say I look kinda cute. I noticed that my eyes are still blue, but I think they're brighter, maybe even more saturated now. Not that I'm complaining - I like color blue. But I also like red, and the mane I have looks amazing. It's a bit on the long side, but not enough to tie in a ponytail or anything like that. Hm, a ponytail on a horse? That sounds weird.

My stomach grumbled. I may have my electronics with me minus my PC, but what I don't have is a full stomach. I need to find something to eat, and I also need to find out where I am and where can I even go. It would infinitely suck balls if I was the only one left alive after, I don't know, humanity nuked itself or died of climate change or a number of other things we could do to ourselves to kill us in our infinite asshattery. Although, this forest seems fine, so maybe it's not so bad.

And hey, at least one horse is out and about, and that horse is me. I'm also a human, but being a magical flying horse is infinitely cooler than being a regular human.

Fuck humanity, I love being a magical flying horse now. Totally worth it.

Chapter 1: Where Do I Go?

Despite my earlier enthusiasm, my stomach reminds me you can't actually eat emotions. Sure, I'm a horse, I can probably munch on some grass or leaves, but I'd rather not eat a bug or two on accident or get some dirt into my mouth and get sick and die horribly. I need to find some civilization, and then I can... well, it depends on what kind of civilization I'm talking about. If I'm still on Earth - which I doubt - there's a chance someone around here can speak English or German. Yeah, bold of me to assume that, but I just try to think positively. In any case, I really should've learned more languages, and my German is definitely very rusty. I should've learned Chinese or Russian or any other language instead of what I ended up picking - Latin. Well, I didn't really pick it, my parents did it for me, and I wasn't too much against it at the time. But it's a dead language, not really widely used by people anymore outside of medical stuff and singing religious crap.

Okay, so if I'm not on Earth, I'm pretty much fucked. If there are other intelligent horses around, I'm fucked because there's no way they won't get suspicious about a random nobody walking around with no documented trace, no knowledge of their language, culture, traditions, and all that stuff. If the other horses around are not intelligent, then I'm fucked because I've no idea how to survive in the wild. I'll likely just keel over and die from diarrhea after eating something I shouldn't have.

Man, now it all sounds pretty bad. But wait, maybe my phone can help me! I'm so dumb sometimes, why didn't I think of it straight away? I pulled it out of the pocket again and took a look at the signal. No signal, just as I expected. Alright, sure, but what about wi-fi? Hm, not a single spot around here. Sure, I'm in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere, but at least I'm going through possible options without discarding them because they sound too stupid. I might be a city boy who rarely visited the countryside, and I'm not even talking about wilderness, but I do know I should at least think and do something to get myself out of bad situations. Some past experience definitely helps, although it's nothing in comparison to this. I mean, why would I ever think about becoming a magical horse with horn and wings?

Anyway, what about GPS? It has to work if I'm still on Earth... I think. Aaand... Alright, it's enabled now, let's open the map app. I hope it's still working, otherwise I'm totally fucked in a bad way I can't describe without putting a lot of swear words in there. Here's the map of Earth, and... I'm not showing up anywhere. An error popped up, too.

Well, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Shit.

I sighed deeply. Alright, it's official - I'm on another planet entirely. How did that happen? Sure, it's only logical to be in another world if I'm a magical horse that has the same level of intelligence as a human, but still... There was hope I could find something familiar. Guess not.

It's... honestly crazy to think about. The implications of this, hoo boy... But what I need to do now is to find some sort of civilization... if one is present. If not, well... Try to survive until I figure out how to get home... if that is at all possible. I have a terrible feeling it's not the case here.

As a certain person famously said, 'I have a bad feeling about this'. This describes my situation perfectly. If I don't get out of this, maybe I'd entertain myself with recounting the entirety of Star Wars in my head, acting out the roles myself. Just... not the new trilogy. The prequels kinda still suck too. But hey, if they're up to me, I'll just change some stuff so that it's no longer rough and irritating. I'm no writer, but I can try.

So... How do I find civilization, exactly? All I know is that settlements tend to be near water, but I don't see a river or a stream around, and I definitely don't hear anything that would resemble it or ocean waves. I still only hear the sounds of this forest. Birds, crickets, various insects, rustling of leaves in the wind, all the usual stuff. It's pretty peaceful and relaxing, but I need to find something before sundown. Who knows what kind of world this is, maybe skeletons and zombies randomly appear at night. Yeah, actually living in Minecraft world would suck, but anyway, I need to move on.

The sun... Wow, I can actually look at it without having to squint my eyes. That's... weird. The sun is definitely bigger than the one Earth circles around. I could probably navigate using the sun if I was sure where it rose and set, but no such luck here. No stars are visible, and even if they were, I have no idea how to navigate using them. On top of that, the stars will obviously be different than the stars seen from Earth.

I really should've learned something useful and not just all that game, movie, show trivia. But too late now, so I guess I'll just pick a direction and walk until I find something.

Judging by my phone's clock, I spent half an hour walking without seeing any signs of civilization. Everything is overgrown, there are many dead trees lying around, and not a single path. I hope I didn't catch ticks, but so far, it seems insects of any sort aren't interested in me. I've yet to see a mosquito, that's for sure.

I kept my hoodie on despite the warm weather, but I think it has the ability to hide my wings for a reason. I'd better listen to this thought, intuition saved me quite a few times in the past. So, I'll keep the wings hidden until I know I can let them out. Plus, my feathers won't get dirty while I walk around. I bet cleaning my wings will be quite a chore.

What I noticed about my body so far was that I could turn my ears in different directions. That was trippy at first, but then I figured out it could be useful to listen around myself without turning my head. Having a larger field of view also helped with being aware of my surroundings, although I have trouble seeing things directly in front of my muzzle. The brain still tricks me into ignoring my muzzle if I'm not actively focused on it just like it did with my nose, but still, the blind spot is there.

I was looking out for possible hunter traps or hunter towers, but I've not seen a single one so far. Plenty of animals, however, and they seem to be the same as on Earth despite small differences. I saw squirrels, a couple of familiar birds, even a hare or a bunny. Insects remain familiar, like that, uh... small round red bug with black spots on its back. Or a few butterflies I saw flying around. Or the bees. Yeah, it seems this planet is very similar to Earth, so maybe I will have an easier time adapting to it.

If only I could get on some sort of high ground... can't see shit from down here. Climbing trees is out of the question, and flying is also not on the list of things I can do. I mean, I can try, but Yoda would be disappointed.

Do or do not, there is no try. See, I can do Star Wars. I just need to remember the most famous quotes, and the rest will do fine.

...I'm slowly going crazy, huh. Doubled the reference already. But if it keeps me from thinking about how I wouldn't see my home, as crappy as it was, and my friends, and everything I used to know, and everything I hoped to learn, and... yeah. Not a pleasant thought to think about.

Honestly, what if I'm indeed stuck here forever? I wouldn't be able to call people I know for help, I wouldn't even know where to go! Fuck, this sucks... But I gotta be optimistic - maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It's a kind of empty hope, but at least it will keep me from falling apart completely. I need to be proactive, I need to do stuff or else I might just get stuck in one place, alone with my thoughts until I just... I don't know. I'd rather think of something else.

Anyway, there's a better reason why I shouldn't try flying - what if I get spotted by someone I really need to avoid? On top of that, I've no idea how to fly. I'm far more likely to break my wings than to fly for even one minute.

To be honest, hiding from people won't be possible considering my colors. I would be able to hide during winter if I manage to cover my mane and tail, but otherwise, I'm sticking out quite a lot. However, I'd rather not take any chances, so I'll stay on the ground unless I have no other option.

Wait, I think I can hear something... Someone's talking! I don't want to be spotted, but I'm really curious, plus I do need some help, even if it's indirect.

After walking in the direction of the speech for around three minutes, I was finally able to hear the people talking clearly. And... oh my fucking hell, are you for real, world? Are you for fucking real? Did the Brits colonize different dimensions as well? Or did the US invade this world to "bring democracy"? If my ears aren't tricking me, what I hear is plain English. English! Not sure which accent exactly, considering the voices sound different from how humans would speak. Still clear to the ears, but different enough to, well... name it a separate accent entirely, I guess. Equine English, maybe?

Okay, the two people appear to be just as equine as I am, and their colors are also interesting. That is, I'm reasonably sure no horse on Earth has those colors. Man, intelligent horses, what the fuck... In any case, I can probably just ask them for help. They're walking along the road, so I can approach them from behind.

I licked my dry lips and softly cleared the throat. I saw their ears turn to me.

"Excuse me?" I said, and my voice came out younger than I expected. Man, I've not heard my voice being so... teen, I guess? I think I'm around thirteen to fifteen. That... might complicate my life. But, at the very least, this is definitely my voice. Similar enough not to creep me out, at least.

"Oh, hello," one of the horses said, turning to me. They're definitely female. Their voice makes it pretty clear, but their anatomy, well, it's even more obvious. Both ponies are nude and I caught a glimpse of what's between their legs because I was behind them. Let's just... not think of that, "Are you lost?"

"Y-yeah..." I replied, my mind working on making something up to sound believable, "I was heading to meet with my friends at, uh, that place... Its name slipped my mind, but I think it started with, uh, P?"

"Ah, Ponyville?" the mare - I think that's the term for female horses - nodded. Woo-wee, I got lucky here with the letter, but... Ponyville? So... we're ponies, or is it a village where ponies live and we're still horses? Probably the former because it would be really offensive to call a settlement like, uh, Jewstown or Blackville, "You're still quite far from it, but you'll make it by dusk if you're quick. Just move along the road the two of us came from," she gestured at the second horse with her hoof, "There will be a fork, turn left, and then walk straight until you reach Ponyville."

"Thanks," I paused for a moment, licking my dry lips again, "I'm sorry, but... Do you have some water?"

"Yeah, give me a moment," she said, taking a look into the cart, and a few moments later pulling out a glass bottle full of water with her hooves, then placing it on the bottom of one of her hooves as she turned it upside-down, "Take it, don't worry."

"Um, can I have your name?" I said, carefully taking the bottle using my magic. Wow, I can feel the glass...

"Of course. I'm Sweet Lilly."

That... is a strange name. But noted, I'll likely have to pick a similarly strange name. Hey, good thinking about asking for a name to see what's not weird, brain!

"Thank you, Sweet Lilly," I said politely and went in the direction of the village called Ponyville. I suppose the weirdness is consistent? Let's actually look at the bottle... It has a paper label glued to it, and it says 'Sweetwater's Mineral Water'.

"You know, it will cost me some..." I heard quiet grumbling behind me. The voice was male, older, probably belonging to that horse pulling the cart.

"Daaad," Sweet Lilly replied in a hushed tone, "Please, he was just thirsty, isn't helping him worth more than one bottle?"

Ah, capitalism, when helping fellow hu- sapient beings is not profitable and thus bad. I kind of hoped I wouldn't encounter this kind of shit here, but oh well. But let's hope his grumbles aren't more than just, well, grumbles.

So... Sweetwater and Sweet Lilly. Interesting names, that's for sure. Definitely related, which is confirmed by their own words. Their names are probably normal around here, so if I hope to blend in, I do have to come up with something new. On top of that, they had some sort of colorful marks on their butts, and they each had a different one. They didn't ask me why I don't have mine, so I guess it's normal not to have one? And those marks, what do they even mean? Are they like tattoos? Or are they somehow natural? I didn't really get a good look at them, so hard to say.

But anyway, let's have a taste of this water. I unscrewed the lid and then took a few gulps. Oh yeah, refreshing! And it definitely tastes nice! And so, I quickly emptied that bottle right into my mouth. That was probably one liter, and it all went sluuurp.

Now I have an empty glass bottle. I'll keep it in the pocket - thankfully, I never picked clothes with small pockets. Besides, what if I end up needing the bottle somehow? Bottles are damn useful. Shame it's not plastic, glass will definitely be easier to break. But maybe the absence of plastic is good, considering how bad that shit is for the environment. It takes, what, three hundred years to fall apart?

Anyway, now I know my first destination - Ponyville. I have no idea how big that settlement is or what kind of people live there, but at least I have somewhere to go. Except... I don't have a home, any local currency, any documents - not that the horses I saw prior would have anywhere to store them on their bodies - and... Actually, if ponies do go around nude, where do they keep their documents? In the, ahem, prison pocket? Or are those marks on their butts their documents? I'll have to find that out.

So, I don't have anything at all except my belongings and this one empty glass bottle. I'll have to make do with that, but it's not the worst thing to ever happen to me. I've already been homeless for a while, I can make it somehow again. I just need to stay out of the way and especially avoid authorities. I don't have any identification, so I will likely get arrested and detained for a while. Let's not get to that point. I'll... figure something out.

My stomach readily reminded me that I need to eat something. Let's put the thoughts about the future away for a moment. I'll definitely know what to do next once I arrive at Ponyville and take a good look around. If it becomes really bad, I could at least figure out where local grocery stores are so that I can steal some food for myself or, well, dig in the garbage. Yeah, not the best way of life, but I'm in no hurry to die either. And if it comes to the worst, I can try to sell my body. Not selling my organs, but, well, whoring myself out. That'll be a new one, and I hope it won't come to that. Sex is good and all, but I don't want to sell it. Or buy it.

Let's think positively for a moment. Maybe it won't be that bad, even with all the limitations imposed on me by chance. I mean, I have magic! Telekinesis is fucking cool and really damn useful, at least I expect it to be. If what I've read about it in different fantasy stuff applies, then telekinesis is really damn sweet to have. I'll see, I guess.

Off to Ponyville I go!

Chapter 3: First Night

As I slept, I dreamed of things. I was walking with my friends along the streets of the city, talking about all sorts of stuff.

"You know, it's weird that you're a flying unicorn now," Alex said to me. I looked at myself and, yes, I'm a flying unicorn. Crap, I forgot to put my hoodie on. Fortunately, my friend didn't seem to care.

"Yeah, pretty weird," I agreed with a nod of my maned head, "But it's kinda cool. I can fly and do magic. What could my human body do? None of those two. It's also all weird and two-legged. Easy to tip over and fall, you know."

"Yeah," she shrugged, "I wouldn't mind having four legs and telekinesis. Imagine how quick I'd run."

She promptly turned into a horse and galloped away before I could as much as blink. Horses are very fucking fast, you wouldn't believe it.

"Good, good..." a sinister voice spoke behind me, prompting me to turn around. It was myself dressed in a dark cloak, my eyes menacingly glowing from under the hood, "Soon, your path to becoming a horse will be complete. Yet... one thing remains - you are homeless."

"It sucks, not gonna lie," I replied, conjuring up a lightsaber out of thin air, "But I know what you're going to offer. Join you and go kill children and then maybe I'll get what I want. The answer is no."

"Kill children? Where did you get that from, young fool?"

"You're literally a Palpatine look-alike, bruh," I pointed out, "And who's young here? Uh, okay, I guess I'm younger than I used to be, whatever. But you're still as old as me. Technically. Because you are me."

"You now have the power," he continued in that cartoonishly-evil way, "Use it. Gain what is yours to take. Do it. You are destined for greatness, and you must seize it."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about here," I kept the lightsaber in my magical grip, ready to activate it.

"You will see, in time," the fake Palpatine said in a voice that sent actual chills down my spine. And this is when I realized that I better run away. I used my wings to swiftly take off, leaving the fake Palpatine behind quickly. Unfortunately, I flapped too hard, so I shot into the air like a balloon with a hole in it. I flew higher and higher until I was above the tallest skyscrapers in my city, then I continued my ascension to the clouds and past them. My wings, however, didn't listen, and I soon spun out of control. I was careening straight into the ground, and I flapped desperately, trying to slow myself down. Then I hit the ground somewhere in the woods and woke up.

I blinked slowly, recollecting my thoughts. Huh, so that was a dream. Okay... that's good to know. I'm still a pony, I still have wings and a horn. I'm still in the same old barn I fell asleep in. And here I hoped I'd just wake up at my home and wonder how weird my dream was.

Ah, my home... Nothing quite like it. It was a tiny apartment with exactly one room, a kitchen combined with the living room. Of course, there was also a bathroom, otherwise I would've never accepted the deal. But, as tiny as it was, it was my home. It was a place where I could go where I knew it would be safe. It's not like the basements or abandoned buildings I've been to, it's not like sleeping in the park, it's a bed that was only mine and mine alone. Maybe it wasn't the most expensive bed, but it was mine, and it made it the most comfortable one I could ever hope to dream of.

Now? Now I'm here, without a home to call my own again, for no reason I can think of. I just appeared here, in a pony body, without any belongings but my hoodie, headphones, and the smartphone. Which, to be honest, is even less than what I had when I became homeless the first time. At least back then I had stuff to sell to sustain myself for a time. Now? No such luck... and I feel hungry again. It's not painful, but it's definitely uncomfortable.

The moon shone through the cracks between the planks, illuminating the inside just enough for me to see vague shapes and outlines. The night was full of sound - insects were chirping somewhere outside, and I swear I heard very distant howling. It was completely unlike the city - there was no noise of the traffic, no buzzing of lights, no distant music. Here, it was... calmer, serene. I could quite enjoy this, to be honest. And so I did, lying back against the hay, staring at something beyond the rafters.

I have an urge to play my guitar, but I don't have it anymore. It was a beat-up six-string acoustic I found in the garbage with half of its strings broken. For a time, I used it to get some money, playing simple yet catchy tunes I could remember or even come up with myself. Sometimes, I sung too, and I think I did it pretty well. It didn't bring me all that much money, but it was enough not to starve. One day, I remember I managed to get much more money than usual, and so I bought new strings and restrung the guitar. It has never left my side even when I finally got a home.

It's probably still there in the apartment, waiting for me. And I'm not sure if I can go back. Not even sure whether I would want to if I find a way. Maybe I could make a better life here? I managed to crawl out of homelessness once, I can do it again. But now, without a friend to help me... I'm really not sure. But a land of magic... it's a one-time opportunity, I bet. If I do go back, would I be able to return? Because I'd like to return even if it's just for the sake of my curiosity.

I pulled out my phone and took a look at the time - it was half past three. I could hope to catch some more shut-eye in the remaining thirty minutes before my alarm clock goes off, but honestly, I don't have any sleep in me whatsoever. Frankly, I should start thinking about how to get out of my situation and find a shelter and a decent source of income to sustain myself. Sure, I can keep chewing grass, but it's kind of tiring and annoying.

I stood up and stretched, feeling my joints pop as I did. I was a little sore - sleeping on hay isn't all that comfortable. But I've slept worse, I can manage. Carefully, I took off my hoodie and let my wings stretch, which was difficult - my wingspan is pretty... big? Wide? Not sure which word applies. In any case, I can't really stretch them to their fullest extent here. But still, better than nothing. I put my hoodie back on and went down to the first floor of the barn. I made it to the entrance, slid the door open, and it creaked like no one's business. Well, I gotta make my way out of here before anyone comes to investigate.

I kept low to the ground - as much as I could in this pony body, anyway - and sneaked to the trees, went between them, and over a fence. I tripped and fell face first into the ground. I groaned, but it wasn't all that painful, thankfully.

I got up, coughed a few times to get the dust out of my mouth, and then decided that it might be a good idea to wash myself while it's still nighttime. I don't stink, but I am definitely dusty, and I'd rather not become stinky. Not having a chance to properly wash myself sucks big time even if you do get used to the smell and the sweat and, ugh. I don't even want to think about it, brings bad memories.

I made my way through the silent village. Considering I've yet to see a guard or a policeman or whatever ponies have for protection, I don't think there's curfew. However, I still kept to the shadows and moved at a brisk yet quiet pace. No need to attract too much attention during the night, after all.

I noticed something interesting, something I somehow missed when I first came here - in the distance, on the side of a mountain, there was... a city. Or a castle, it's hard to tell. But it's there. The mountain side is at least fifty-sixty degrees relative to the ground, so I wonder how in the hell did they manage to build a city there, especially at such a height. It looks like a tree mushroom. You know, those wide mushrooms growing out the side of the trees. But it's a city on a mountain. How didn't I notice it? Maybe the clouds obscured it, I guess - it was a bit cloudy when I came to Ponyville. I should really visit that mountain place if I can, seems really interesting.

Above that city, moon shone. I can't stress it enough, the nights are bright. Or maybe pony eyes like mine have adapted to the dark well. I don't know, I've not studied pony evolution or whatever. But anyway, now I can see an interesting detail... the craters on the moon form a picture resembling a pony head with a horn. Huh, I wonder if someone made it with magic or whatever. However, that image gives me chills, and I don't know why. I just feel like... it's not just an image someone made. I feel like it's more than that, but I can't really say what. Maybe I'll find out in the future.

Once I was at the river, I followed it downstream until I found a place with good tree and bush coverage. Just in case someone was awake, I didn't want to reveal my wings. So, once I was sufficiently hidden, I took off my hoodie, placed it in the bush, and then made my way to the water, making sure I approached from the direction that obscured me the best. I tentatively lowered my hoof on the water to feel the temperature. It's a bit cold, but not freezing, I think I'll manage. The current didn't seem to be all that fast, so I think I'll be fine as long as I don't go too far from the bank.

I stretched my body again, this time allowing my wings to extend to their fullest. That feels good. Maybe I should do regular flights during the night when no one watches. Only after I learn how to fly, anyway.

I went into the water. Thankfully, the banks weren't all that steep, so my descent wasn't too quick. First, the water reached my knees, and I was shivering just a little bit. It's still nighttime, and the water is definitely pretty cold. However, I knew it wasn't the worst thing to happen yet. As I stepped further into the river, the water rose almost all the way to my stomach, and then I felt it. I felt the chill on my fucking balls. That is the worst part. However, I need to get clean, so I continued until only my head and my wings remained above the water. I could physically feel the balls shrinking into my crotch. That shit will make you perfectly awake right up, that's for sure.

I stood there in the water for some time before I forced my wings underneath its surface. Should I have done it? I don't know, I've no idea how to wash wings. I inhaled deeply and then ducked my head under as well. A second later, I reemerged and coughed a bit - some water got into my nostrils in that awful ticklish way. But at least I'm fully soaked now.

I wish I had some soap or a brush to scrub myself with, but I had to do with what I had, which was telekinesis. I didn't spend too much time on it, so I finished in a few minutes and quickly came out of the water. I was shivering a lot now, and I almost instinctively shook myself, pretty much like a dog. It did get rid of a lot of water, but I will have to let the fur and especially the mane and tail dry by themselves. I wish I had a towel. I could use my hoodie, but it's the only piece of clothing I have, and I don't really want to get it wet.

Then I realized something. I'm fucking stupid. Because I couldn't put on the hoodie, I was exposing my wings. I'm a damn idiot, I'm a moron. What if someone finds me like this?

I'm quite fucked. For some reason, I wanted to sing about it. I can actually imagine the lyrics.

I am fucked, oh so fucked
I did a thing I shouldn't have
And now I'm unsure of what will be.

It may not be a big deal, but I don't know. (What if it is?)
It may not be anything wrong, but I'm unsure (But what if it is?)
All I know is I didn't think this through

"Is anyone there?"

Oh fuck, I didn't notice how I started humming what came to my mind. It's so stupid anyway, why did I even come up with it? Thankfully, I managed to quietly hide among the bushes and, hopefully, I can remain invisible in the shadows. Which... is unlikely. How did ponies fucking survive in the wild, they're so brightly colored! Damn me, my white fur, and my red mane. I was low to the ground, motionless for a long while. I heard some steps nearby, but no one called me out yet.

"Huh, must've been the wind," they said, and I heard them walking away. Well, that's a relief.

However, I'm still damp. I'll have to wait to dry up a bit.

I hid in the bushes for a long while and managed to become dry enough to put my hoodie back on. My stomach grumbled, reminding that I should get some food in me before long.

Honestly... I think I should take a more thorough look around. Maybe find a notice board or something, this would maybe give me a chance to do some work and earn enough money to buy something nutritious. Sure, I can continue sustaining myself on grass, but it's honestly so tiring and boring to just graze on it. I'd rather eat some soup, maybe some fried potatoes. Mmm, hot crispy potatoes sound about right. Man, I'm salivating at the thought, and my stomach grumbles louder.

I think I remember seeing something interesting on that central building, I should visit it again. After making sure my hoodie and its contents were all fine, I made my way to the center of the village and to the big cylindrical building. As I closed on it, I saw a notice board. How did I not see it yesterday? I really should've been more attentive.

Okay, the moonlight provides enough for me to read. Hm, there are some ads about carrots, an ad about a new shop called "Quills and Sofas", a famous chain of furniture and writing utensils shop. What an unusual combo. But IKEA gives away free pencils, so I guess it kinda makes sense? Anyway, someone is looking for a lost stuffed toy. Yay, a side quest! Doesn't mention a reward, though. Maybe I'll do it when I have some food in my belly first.

Oh, this is interesting. A restaurant 'City Experience' is searching for waiters. The payment is two silver bits per hour. Huh, how much is that, I wonder? I've already seen items priced in bits, but regular bits, not silver bits. Unless the 'silver' part isn't really used outside of official stuff. I need to figure this out before I take on this job, even though I don't really want to. Waiters usually have it pretty bad. Rushes, understaffing, rude customers, and all with low pay. Okay, there's more written in this - requirements, for once. I need to be at least twelve years of age, I got that covered. A talent in waiting is preferable although not required. I wonder what that means. Next, being able to speak in at least one of Manehattan, Fillydelphia - okay, this is fucking ridiculous. Are those really just US cities with horse puns? What is this fucking world? Damn... Anyway, it continues with Baltimare, Trottingham, and Vanhoover accents. Do I have an accent spoken in those cities? I've no idea. Well, I can still try, I suppose.

However, let's look at some other possible options. I might be a beggar, but I hope to have at least some choice. Hm, a family is moving to Canterlot - the fuck, another horse pun? Come on... But anyway, this family needs someone to carry their luggage from their house to the train station, and they're willing to pay one silver bit for the entire ordeal. Their address is... hah, it's 'three-story house with pink walls and a cylindrical tower in its center'. Not a street address, huh. Anyway, I think this will be easy to deal with. I'm reasonably strong, I hope, so I'll have it done quickly. Now, let's go find that house and the train station so that I know where to go.

My stomach grumbled. Ugh, I guess I'll chew on some grass along the way.

Chapter 2: Village of Ponies

Some time had passed since I met the two horses on the road and got the directions from them, and now I was exiting the forest and seeing the village that was Ponyville. I didn't know what I expected, but what I saw was far better than that. The houses were well-kept and reasonably colorful, built out of wooden frames and probably that mix of clay and hay people in the medieval times used to insulate their walls. The roofs were thatched and looking quite good, giving off that fantasy medieval vibe. The houses also had interesting shapes, they weren't only squares and rectangles. Honestly, I don't think there are many right angles if any at all. This was one quaint little village, I could see this already. Everyone probably knows everyone, so that means horses - or ponies - will know I'm an outsider.

Despite what Sweet Lilly said, it wasn't dusk yet. The sun was as high above the ground as it was when I started. Maybe I walked faster than expected, which wouldn't be surprising considering that I was, after all, a bit taller than those two ponies. Long legs here!

First, I think I need to take a good look from where I stand, which is just a bit higher than the level of Ponyville. The village seems quite big with at least a hundred households. This equates to, what, two hundred and fifty to four hundred ponies total? The houses seem reasonably big, so maybe the total is five hundred or more. Which is just about the amount of students that attended school with me. Although, I can be off in my calculations - I've not had math in a few years.

Well, this seems rather small. I mean, sure, it's not a city of hundreds of thousands or even millions. Five hundred really seems like a small number compared to that, but I've no idea how many ponies live in the entire country or how big the entire country even is.

In any case, this isn't really a good place to be for a homeless guy like me. Villages tend to have people who know everyone, and I'll stick out like a sore thumb. However, I do need to eat and drink, so this village will be my first stop. I'll have to figure out where to sleep when the night comes, too.

With that set, I need to figure out how to call myself. I won't use my old name - John. I have a feeling it will stand out a bit too much. Plus, I never really liked that name. So, my new name will be... Flame. Why that? Because it sounds cool, plus my mane resembles flames at least a little bit. Flame, Flame, Flame... Yeah, this works.

Alright, it's time I go in and gather the layout of the place. Figure out where the shops are, where the offices are, where the garbage cans are, all that. Once I learn all the important stuff, I'll be able to navigate easily and survive for a day or two.

I knew where the center of the village was - I could see a tower, well, tower above the rest of the buildings. Man, I need to learn more words...

"Welcome to Ponyville!" the first pony I saw greeted me with a smile, "Can I help you?"

That's the first time I saw someone so readily just... talk to a complete stranger. Sure, I've had a few taxi drivers ask me for directions, some old people asking me to help them cross the road, all that stuff. But this pony - I think they are ponies, considering their height - didn't even know why I was here, and yet they were ready to offer help if I needed any. Despite the earlier incident with a pony basically wanting to tell me to fuck off without his water, this pony gives me a far better impression.

"Ah, I'm meeting my friends here," I repeated the same lie I told before, "The center of the village is that way, right?" I gestured at the tower in the distance.

"Right this way, yes," the pony nodded, "Have a pleasant stay!"

"Thanks," I nodded and went on my way. I noticed that the pony also had a mark on their butt and had an adult voice. But they also didn't ask me about the absence of my own mark, so this definitely confirms not having marks is normal.

As I went deeper into the village, random ponies offered me short greetings, which was surreal as fuck. If I went to an unknown part of my city, I'd never be greeted by anyone except polite cashiers and similar people. All the other people would be completely disinterested in me as long as I didn't do something stupid or unlawful. Which is, all things considered, fair enough - I never greeted complete strangers either unless I was, you know, meeting them to get to know them.

Well, this is quite a change from the usual. However, my stomach once again reminded me that you can't eat politeness.

As I went, I started whistling a song I knew. Even if I didn't have a place to call my own here, even if I had no money, no friends, no relatives, at least random people seemed happy, and this happiness was contagious. You can't just walk around all those pleasant faces and want to frown. I felt the corners of my mouth rise up a bit the more ponies I met. Despite my situation, I find myself in a pretty good mood.

I walked along the street, passing under an entire bridge between two houses. That's... really unusual. The houses themselves definitely looked like they weren't perfectly level. I could see the curves easily, so I think the choice in how stuff was built was deliberate. Which is, well, strange, but it makes the village look quite unique even within itself. I won't really have to memorize much, considering that every house seemed to be different from the other even from a cursory glance. In my head, an imaginary map of this place has already begun to form.

In a few minutes, I finally arrived at the main square. But it was a circle. Funny how English works, right? Anyway, in the center of the square, a round - no, cylindrical - building stood, which was quite big, maybe around seventy-eighty feet in diameter at the very least. I'm not actually all that good at estimating distances and measurements, so let's just say it's big. Yes, big.

In front of that building, a fountain stood, and on top of it was a statue of a mare standing on her back legs. How do I know it's a mare? Because, well, the statue is quite anatomically accurate. At least the water isn't flowing out of her pee hole. Not that I'd care - there were plenty of fountains of pissing boys. For now, I simply needed some more water - I was thirsty again. Considering that I've just seen a pony drinking straight out of the fountain, I guess I can do the same. It may not be perfectly sanitary, but I dug up food out of trash bins, so who am I to say what is and isn't sanitary? A man's gotta eat and drink, at the end of the day.

I walked up to the fountain and took a look at the water. Seems clean enough, doesn't smell weird, no gunk floating around. I took out the glass bottle I saved and dipped it under the water, filling it up, then I emptied the bottle into my mouth. The water tasted like, well, water. So, I suppose it is clean. Or, at least, cleaner than most, which was a relief. Then I refilled the water, screwed the lid back on, and put it in my pocket. It's definitely going to be useful.

"Hi!" a startlingly high-pitch voice said behind me, making me jump in surprise. I turned around and saw a mare for which the name 'pink' would be perfect, "I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name?" called it. I fucking called it. Anyway, my name? Uh... it jumped out of my head the moment she asked me for it. Ah wait, I remember!

"I'm Flame," I said slowly.

"Welcome to Ponyville, Flame!" she enthusiastically continued, "Are you staying?"

"I'm just passing through, I guess."

"Oh..." her poofy mane and tail became just a bit flatter, seemingly, "Well, I hope you enjoy it while you're here!"

Then she literally bounced away, singing some kind of a joyful song to herself. What a weird mare... Although I do like her energy. I think I can describe it as 'sugar rush'. I definitely remember the time when I drank too much coffee and had more sugar than I should've - I cleaned every dish, disassembled and cleaned every bit of furniture in my room, and also cleaned my PC and phone to utter perfection. I felt like crap the next day, but hey, that was surprisingly fun. However, now I need to remind myself to not drink coffee - even if I drink little, I can barely sleep and my hands itch to do stuff. As for sugar, well... As I grew up, I found it less tasty.

I decided to walk around the main building and see if there was anything else of interest around here. I walked counter-clockwise and saw a bunch of bridges over a river to my right. Alright, now it's clear where I will bathe, even if it might be a bit cold. The river seems to be rather calm, so I'm not in any real danger of drowning. Now, I need to figure out where I take a dump. I'll probably have to live on the outskirts and poop in the forest or something because, well, pooping out in the streets isn't good for pretty obvious reasons.

Round the main building, there was a market. Not a chain supermarket, not a supermarket at all in fact, but many stalls standing together with all kinds of ponies selling stuff. I decided to go and investigate what they have.

A pony mare was selling tomatoes with a price of one bit per tomato. Is it short for bitcoin? If it is, then those tomatoes are really damn expensive. On a serious note, I need to figure out how money works here, where the cheapest stuff is, and where I can possibly earn some. I honestly don't want to steal from these ponies - they're nice, maybe they'll just give me a job or something and not even scam me. Or they will scam me, in which case that would suck. As a homeless person, you don't really have any leverage when it comes to that shit. It's not like I can come up with money to sue anyone, especially not now.

Suddenly, all the shopkeepers put up the 'closed' signs and left their stalls. Huh? Oh, and the sun is going down at a rather quick pace. What the fuck? That's not how a sun is supposed to work! A-and the moon is also rising - that's, that's, what? How in the- uh, what the fuck? And just like that, night came in just under five minutes as I gaped at what was going on. The ponies seemingly completely vanished from the street, everything grew quiet.

I think my head hurts... how in the fuck is this possible? From perfect day to night in five fucking minutes!

My stomach growled louder. Well, I'll have to think of this weird-ass shit later, I gotta eat something. The market stalls were left as they were, with goods and all. I could just easily walk up and grab everything I wanted. Just like this. I've heard some European countries had food stands that didn't have anyone attending them, so you grab what you want and leave money behind. This requires a lot of trust between people - I personally would never leave stuff I want to sell out in the open like this.

Well... honestly, I'll just go chew on grass. Maybe the stalls have some magical spells on them that catch thieves or whatever. And even if they don't, I don't really want to ruin what this community has going on. So, grass it is.

I noticed that the moon is quite bright, and its light is not as dim as the moonlight from Earth's moon. Obviously it doesn't look like daytime, but it's bright enough to be, I don't know... ten in the evening during summer? Basically, when things are dark, but not dark enough to completely dull out the colors. This is... interesting. But not as wacky as a sunset that lasts five fucking minutes. Damn...

I found a small field and started munching on grass. You know, it's actually not all that bad. A bit hard to chew at first, but equine teeth were made to grind grass and such, so I'll manage. The grass is a bit dry and crunchy and also tastes a little like dirt, but not the worst thing in the world. I wonder how much of it I need to eat to actually fill myself and not feel hungry anymore. Cows and such eat, what, thirty-forty pounds of grass per day? That's a loot of fucking grass, it would take me half the night to eat. But I don't think I'm as big as a cow. I'm a pony, and, by my estimation, I'm around halfway between four and five feet in height. If I stand on my back legs, I'll probably be six. Basically, I'm around the size I used to be, I think. A cow weighs, what, one thousand pounds? One thousand and fine hundred? As a human, I weighed one hundred and fifty or so. So, roughly four-five times less than a cow. Thus, I would need to eat around ten pounds of grass a day if my weight is still relatively the same.

I'm not looking forward to that, but oh well. Better do that than starve, no matter how weird it feels. Still beats looking in the garbage for food.

I think that will do it for now, I'm tired of chewing so much fucking grass. I now need to find a place to sleep, and... I've no idea where. Sure, I can probably go back to the forest and sleep there somewhere, but I don't feel like being eaten if there are any predators. Or get insects in my ears, that would be awful. I need to find an abandoned building or something like it to sleep.

I looked around and, a bit far on a hill, behind rows of trees, I saw a barn. Hey, that's actually perfect! If I hide well enough and wake up before the owners do, I'll be able to leave before anyone knows I was ever there. So, I made my way to the farm, clumsily got over a fence, snaked my way between the trees, quickly galloped over the open land straight to the barn, and stopped there. Thankfully for me, the barn wasn't locked, so I slid the door open slowly, entered, and closed it behind me. Whew, that was stressful. Every second, I expected someone to shout at me and drive me off, but I suppose I got lucky.

The barn has a ton of hay, but also various farming instruments. The barn smells of old wood, hay, and a bit of rust. Pretty dry place, which is perfect for sleep. No cows or horses or whatever - I guess it makes sense for ponies not to have them, which is a pretty good thing. I saw a ladder leading to the second floor, and I did my best to get up there. I almost fell once, but I managed to get up without breaking any part of my body.

On the second floor, there was only hay. I did my bed the best I could, making sure I placed more hay closer to the edge of the second floor so that I'm not easily seen from the first, and then I finally laid down. I'd check on some memes or whatever before sleep, but tough luck - no internet, no cell service, nothing of that sort whatsoever.

However, I should calibrate my time and set an alarm for right before dawn. If ponies start doing stuff at dawn, I should be away from here before then, that's for sure. So, I pulled out my phone, set the time at a bit past ten - which I guess makes sense? - and then set an alarm for four in the morning. I might be off in my time estimations, so let's just hope I'm right. Also, that's just a bit over five hours of sleep, but I'll manage.

Well, off to sleep I go.