Hot Chocolate and Cold Nights
Author's Note
I have zero idea what this is, but I liked writing it so that’s a plus.
I originally wasn’t going to create anything for the holidays, but I wrote this yesterday and thought it would be a waste to throw away.
~ Happy holidays 💜
Hot Chocolate and Cold Nights
These ponies are so strange.
But then again, I guess I’m pretty strange as well.
Well, really, I guess everyone is a little strange, actually. Some more than others. But to me personally, yeah, these ponies are on a different level of strange.
But I suppose that is par for the course, they are magical creatures from a foreign universe. I just wish that they wouldn’t completely dissolve any and all of my understanding on the laws of existence every other weekend, but sometimes these things happen, I suppose.
These wacky little creatures with they’re wacky little lives. How they remain stress free when crazy things happen on the daily is mind boggling to me; nor how they remain so accepting to unknown outliers after the fact. Most would probably assume them to be ignorant.
I disagree.
Oh! It would seem I’m all over the place at the moment, allow me to collect my thoughts...
...
There we are! So, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve. In case you don’t know what that means—and I don’t blame you—Hearth’s Warming is relatively significant for these small bubbly quadrupeds. It’s actually the pony equivalent of Christmas, and although it would probably be an acquired taste back home, I actually rather enjoy their spin on it.
...Oh, but I’m boring you.
I’m friends with some of these cutesy ponies. I have been for a while.
Once they’d gotten over their fear (and yes, as it turns out, fear being the dominate reaction to the arrival of a green alien isn’t exclusive to our solar system) we had all become quick friends.
I enjoy their company, even if I’m inclined to my own loneliness...
Rambling. I really do need to learn how to control my consciousness when it comes to these types of things.
“Beanie?” Softly came from my left, I didn’t jolt, but I did realize I had been staring into the fireplace.
Pinkie Pie has taken to calling me ‘Beanie’ as a nickname. I find it silly, but also rather endearing, so I never called her on it.
“Mhmm?” I was currently nursing a small cup of hot chocolate while resting on one of my faux leather chairs, a nice blanket covering me. It would seem that I’ve been dosing off more often, certainly as of late. “Oh? Ah, hello Miss Pie. Did you pick my lock again? You do know I’m always willing to just open my door at your request, correct?”
Pinkie Pie was always the one out of my little friend group that I would describe as the most strange. However, while some are strongly off put by her behaviour, I find it a smidge entertaining.
But a break from the monotony is really all it takes to make me entertained, nowadays.
I took a side-glance at her. I would great her with hug like I usually do, but I’ve been implored by a certain librarian to keep comfortable. So I settled with nod.
She shook her head, her mane falling in front of her eyes and blocking them which was a shame, I’d wanted to see them. “It was already unlocked. Plus the Princess yelled at me the last time I did that... she’s scary when she’s mad...”
Oh, yes. That little incident. I gave her a tiny shrug. “No need to worry yourself about that. I spoke to her regarding it. She knows how I feel, don’t allow her to tell you otherwise.”
“...I’m really sorry...” She wilted slightly.
I gave her a smile, which was harder than I’d like to admit. She always likes it when I do that.
“Don’t worry none. You just gave me a little spook back then, was all. I’m alright now.” She didn’t get any closer to me at my words, rather she continued to stare at my carpeted floor.
My lush, lavishly expense carpet, of which I never would’ve personally purchased for myself even if I could...
I blinked the thought away, tapping my arm rest to grab both our attention. I slowly placed the mug of hot chocolate on the stand next to me, it had gone cold awhile ago but that’s alright, my appetite just wasn’t what it used to be.
It didn’t help that I always had to take my mask off to drink it. Which I had given up trying to place back on my face anyways. I don’t really care what others think about me when it’s not on, plus the fire is nice.
“Come here, Miss Pie. I will admit, I am feeling rather down at the moment, and you are always the go to pony for making others feel the opposite, no?”
She smiled a tiny bit, which elated me. It has been far too long since I’ve seen it. She walked over towards where I was sitting, frowning softly as she looked me over.
I greatly dislike it when she does that.
“You’re paler.” She muttered while looking at my face.
I nodded.
“Indeed.”
She looked away with a jerk at my response, her chest heaving with a shaky sigh before she could manage to look at me again. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to remind you—“
“Oh, Pinkie. It’s fine.” I mumbled softly. “I’ve had many—many months to be reminded. I will not lash out at you for it.” I shifted a little, pursing my lips as a few of my stitches strained.
So much for comfort. But then again, I should count the short amount of time I was comfortable as a blessing, I rarely get to experience it now; especially since I’m practically glued to my bed or chairs most of these days.
She noticed my wince, which is a shame. I already worry her and the others enough as it is.
She sat on her haunches in front of my lap. “Anon—“
“It’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, Pinkie. It’s a joyous occasion. One you should be celebrating with family.” I gave her a nod.
“Or friends.” She whispered weakly as she nudged one of my knees. She always did that when she wanted me to pet her. It was rarely on purpose nowadays, she often did it instinctively when distraught. And obviously, as a friend, It would be remiss of me to not comfort her if that were so.
It took a large effort, but I leaned forward and took her ears into both my hands, switching between scratching and ruffling them. Poor girl seemed to have tears shining in her eyes.
“None of that. I’m glad you’re here.”
She squeezed her eyes shut as if she was in pain and nuzzled my pant leg, her attempts at stemming her tears failing, as I could feel them soak past the clothing.
Maybe my bandages were rough on her ears? I should’ve thought about that...
“You shouldn’t be glad that I’m here.”
Ah, Cripes. I really thought they were all past that.
“It was an accident.” I leaned back into my chair, petting her with only one hand as I began to feel fatigued, the other laying on my arm rest. “Accidents happen. I forgave all of you long ago.”
“But our magic—“
“Left me worse for wear, but in that case I’d say I’m at fault, I was rather foolish, no?”
Whenever Pinkie Pie scrunches up her face at me, I know I’ve said or done something stupid.
“Don’t say that.”
I learned a long time ago that ponies are very emotional creatures, which is good, I like being able to read those I’m close to.
However, seeing pain on the face of someone you’re close to is never a nice thing to see.
“...Of course, Miss Pie.” I looked away from her smouldering gaze and sighed. “However from my point of view I should shoulder most of the blame. You know that to be true.”
I felt her lay her head in my lap. “No. We took that risk. We are the ones to blame. Anon, please look at me.”
Curses. I looked down at her, her eyes looking so very tired.
...It reminds me of myself too much. She shouldn’t be the one looking like that.
“Anon, If you hadn’t survived—if you had died that day—it would be us. And only us who deserve to be blamed. Where you are now, that is our fault.”
My other hand dug into the armrest of my chair, the material crinkling underneath my fingers.
“As you say.” I quickly look up, deciding that I can’t continue to look at her.
...
We sat in silence, my temper slowly tapering off as I stared into the fire once more. It mesmerized me, but not like before. There were no therapeutics in seeing the flames lick or the embers pop. I felt my vision rabidly tunnel, the sound of sizzling beginning to fill my ears as phantom pains began to—
“Anon?”
Right.
I swallowed, blinking away the dots in my vision and forcing myself to sit still. I continued rubbing her head. “...Will the others visit me today?” I hated how my voice cracked.
“...I don’t think so.” She murmured. All of a sudden it took every bit of restraint I had not to scratch at my skin until it was raw, my bandages feeling like sand paper.
I need my damn mask.
“Well- ah. Pinkie. Thank you—for coming here. I’m always grateful for your company, and tell the others the same thing. I... I do grow restless here, some days.”
She nodded.
Woah nelly... she just clambered over my lap and wrapped her hooves around me, taking precaution to do so gently. I felt her sniffle.
I returned the hug after a pause, noticing that the compulsion to tear at my own skin nearly vanished the moment she buried her snout into the crook of my neck.
...I don’t really know what came over me but... it was hard keeping myself together in her embrace.
...
After a few minutes, she unwound herself from me, saying her goodbyes, before leaving my room.
I’m alone now.
I...
My mask had since been attached to my face once more. It’s opaque texture was designed to hide my... damages without sacrificing one’s ability to recognize my face. It was debatable if it worked, but honestly, I was too tired most of the time to really question if it did.
It’s not like I’m hard to miss anyways.
I scratch at the bandages wrapped around my chest— oh hold on, what’s this? My fingers bumbled past something, on the inside pocket of my housecoat.
Paper? It rustled under my fingers as I pulled it out from the pocket.
A... letter? I turned it around, noticing the wax stamp that held it closed. I blinked, trying to remember if I had chucked an unread parcel into my robe before I sat down, but came up blank.
Wait a minute... did Pinkie put this here? I felt my brow furrow. Why wouldn’t she just hand it to me? I thought it to be very strange that she would sneak it in...
But then again...
I didn’t waste anymore time and opened up the letter carefully, not wanting to damage its contents.
It was a letter... How peculiar, usually Pinkie’s letters are covered in glitter or smiley faces. I mused silently for a moment, then I began to read the letter.
Dear Anonymous,
I blinked. Strange, she never addresses me by my full name. I shake my head and continue reading.
This Christmas you are formally invited to Princess Twilight’s friendship gathering.
‘Christmas?’ I mouthed those words as I continued.
There will be holiday cheer. There will be candy. And there will be gifts exchanged.
Why does this feel like a threat?
But most of all, you will be there. And to us, that’s all that matters. The gathering will be hosted in your room tomorrow at 11:00am, don’t be late ;)
We hope you’ll feel better soon. We know no amount of “sorry’s” will fix what we’ve done, or how we acted. So allow us to say thank you instead. Thank you for being the greatest friend a group of ponies could ever hope for.
Best regards, signed—
My eyes blurred a little, but I didn’t really care.
Signed:
Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, RD, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack.
All of us can’t wait to see you again, we miss you!
At some point the letter had darkened with a few wet spots. My shoulders suddenly gave a few quivers and I could feel my smile rise just as involuntarily. I took a shaky breath.
“Strange little ponies.”
I let out a creaky chuckle as I hugged the letter to my chest and looked to the ceiling, feeling my tears roll down my face.
“Looks like I have a Christmas party to prepare for.”
