Number The Night

by YetAnotherBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 14344

What does one do in the moon for a thousand years? I numbered the nights. I never lost count.

What does one do in the moon for a thousand years? How does one stay sane?

I numbered the nights. I never lost count.

Published 2012-08-31 19:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-22 22:20:26 UTC

Chapter 1

Night 1

My sister attacked me, all because of one stupid coin flip.

Thankfully, she is a fool and placed me within my own celestial orb. Of all the places, this is where she thought to put me? It would never betray me. I am its namesake. I am Luna.

“Open!” I command it. But the shroud of darkness does not lift from me. “This is your princess speaking! I command you to set me free!”

Yet still the moon held me captive. Its treachery should not have surprised me. Ponies have always slept through the nights I have graced them with. I even worked to make the night sky shine with the beauty of the stars, yet still nopony appreciated my work. My fans have always been few, and those worthy of my trust fewer.

But I was born with power for a reason. I do not need to be liked. I do not need the moon to obey me. I need the moon to die.

The dim glow that forms around my horn rapidly grows into an intense light that illuminates miles of the cavity that surrounds me. The rocky floor begins to crack as I pull at it with my magic, until massive chunks of it are tossed aside.

No sooner had the rock been disturbed, than it had begun to reform. Of course. It wasn’t the moon that had betrayed me, but the elements of harmony. Their magic would not permit me to escape. Thankfully, I don’t need their permission!

Craters around me erupt into existence as my horn shines brighter than ever before.

“Celestia! You can’t keep me here!” I don’t know who I’m yelling at, but I didn’t get the chance earlier. If Celestia herself can’t hear, then these walls will bare witness to my ire, and will know not to cross me.

Sizable chunks of rock launch out of place faster than they can reform, as the hole I am drilling is now several feet deep, and growing deeper at an ever increasing rate.

“Celestia! I know you can hear me!” She must somehow be listening. How else could she be sure her spell didn’t somehow wound me? Yet she has the gall not to respond!

The effort is futile, as my horn already begs me to stop, but I don’t care. I am getting out of here. The more my horn aches, the greater my concentration on ripping through the layers of rock. The depth of the hole is now approaching half a mile, but my horn will no longer obey me. All light is extinguished.

“Celestia!!”

Within minutes of stopping, my work had undone itself. My wobbling hooves give way causing me to plop to the ground ungraciously. Having not slept since the start of this extended night, the unrelenting darkness weighs heavily on my eyelids. I am tired.

The door to our room swings open, and my sister with her white coat practically glowing, enters.

“Are you coming? It is time for us to make our very first day,” she says.

I know I should feel excited. For the entire day I had tried to convince myself I was. I keep my head turned away and mumble, “I know.”

“Are you not excited?”

“Overjoyed,” I mutter, turning toward her while forcibly pressing my teeth into an attempted smile, “see?”

“Luna, is something wrong?”

Seeing my sister genuinely look concerned, I put into words what I know I shouldn’t care about. “How many times have you stopped to look at the night sky?”

“The night sky is beautiful.”

“Everypony says that, but how many times have you looked at it?” I knew she’d say that. I knew she wouldn’t understand. There is a brief pause during which I resume staring at that same spot on the wall.

“I don’t know. That’s not really the point, though. This isn’t about being admired,” she says.

“I don’t want to be admired. I just don’t want to be ignored. My cutie mark is a moon, but how many more times have I watched a sunrise than a full moon.”

“You would rather raise the sun than the moon?”

“Yes… I know it doesn’t matter… I know I shouldn’t care…” I sigh and look at my sister, “… but I do,” I finish. After saying it I can’t look at her because raising the moon is a great honor, but I dared to say it wasn’t good enough for me.

“Luna, why didn’t you say so? We can simply trade spots.”

I am grateful to her for not pointing out how stupid I am being, but her naive remark frustrates me. “Have you looked at our flanks?”

“Yes. We both have a talent for heavenly bodies. But why should our cutie marks tell us our destiny. They merely signify what our special talents are, not what we are to do with them.”

I sigh. “Even so, what would Father say? He has always anticipated his eldest daughter being the mare of day.”

Celestia frowns. She briefly begins to pull her mouth open but promptly shuts it again. Celestia hates to disappoint Father. I don’t exactly like it, but I never had her disdain.

I break the silence. “I appreciate the thought, but I can’t just take that from you.”

“Then let’s not leave it up to us,” says Celestia, pulling a bit off the top of our dresser, and then floating it in midair before us.

“Heads I take the sun. Tails you do.”

“You’d leave the rest of our lives up to a coin?”

“Maybe I’m tired of being a goody two shoes. Maybe I’ve began to wonder if I wouldn’t be better off being more like you. I’ve reasoned circles around this in my mind, and just want fate to show me the way. Any way. I’m tired of dwelling on this.”

Celestia turns away and begins to walk back through the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To go get Father, to oversee our flip. Despite what he wants to see, he values honesty. He’ll make sure I’m true to my word.”

“You are really serious about this aren’t you?”

We peer into each other’s eyes for a moment, and instead of the confident look, the unyielding look, or the “for shame” look, I see one that I don’t recognize. Yet, the raised eyebrows and slight frown, remind me of an expression I have seen on other ponies.

“You’re confused...” I state.

“Yes.”

“We don’t need Father. Let’s do this.” I smile.

We both stare at the bit as it flips, positive it will land on tails;convinced that, somehow, our mutual desire for a single side would alter the probabilities. It would change our destinies to be exactly what we needed. My sister would finally be able to loosen up. We would finally stand up to Father. I would get the sun. Most importantly, our cutie marks wouldn’t decide our lives. This bit could change everything.

It doesn’t.

How naive I was, to think destiny could be altered. How dare Celestia make me hope for what was never going to be. My wandering mind doesn’t contemplate this for long, as it is now ready to be still and thoughtless.

~~~

Night 2

I am moving. Why am I moving?

My heavy eyes lift, only to unveil another layer of darkness. Why is it so dark? I puzzle on this for a few seconds before remembering, I am in the moon. I ignite my horn to reveal that everything appears still. If I am moving, so is the moon.

Of course! Celestia is raising the moon. It is the second night.

I trot over to a nearby wall, and scrap in two tally marks. It feels silly, as there will be at most five such marks before my freedom, yet a precise count is necessary. The longer I am here, the more Celestia will have to answer for.

Is day really so important that she was willing to attack her own sister? Day lacks the sophistication of night. It was needed once, but now there are spells that can replace its food growing properties. These spells exist for a reason. Though at times I forget, that coin gave me night for a reason. Day is behind the times. Nopony needs it. They are all just too shy to tell her. I will tell her for them. How will that conversation go?

“I am so sorry, Luna. What ever was I thinking,” says Celestia.

“I hate to break it to you…” I begin to state.

“…but day is obsolete? I know. I’ve always known.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you play around with a few stars. Once you develop some talent, I will even make them bright enough for ponies to see.”

“I am truly blessed to have such a sister. How can you forgive me so easily?”

“It’s a gift.” I reply modestly.

That is what tomorrow will be like. Heck, that is what tonight could be like. My horn and the dirt in front of me glow brightly. I will break through this time. Somehow.

~~~

Night 97

She will let me out. Though she is envious of my potential, as she has always had an eye for talent, she is my sister.

Daytime skies once seemed admirable for their color, but now I know they are excessively showy. They are for the pallet that cannot appreciate subtlety, that cannot dazzle the eye with but a few shades of a single hue. She knew that the ponies were better off without day.

So, in a moment of passion and envy, she banished me here. I can’t blame her for being jealous, really. It must be difficult when you are no longer needed. But she is not a bad pony. She has simply made a grave mistake. She is no doubt realizing this even now, and will release me soon.

Besides, how much longer can she really hold me here? She did use the elements of harmony, after all. Pray tell, who is she in harmony with? It certainly isn’t me. Surely their power must be weakening. The moon took at least a few seconds longer to recover a couple weeks ago from another one of my tirades.

What silly things those occasional tantrums are. Why tire myself and get so worked up, when my cell is surely decaying around me? The moon doesn’t even respond the same way for her. I can feel it resist her every time she hoists it into the air.

She will beg for my forgiveness. I will give it to her. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. It may be difficult for her to learn, but she will never do something this foolish again. A smile overcomes my face sometime during these musings.

It quickly fades as the realization that I have not yet escaped the moon resurfaces. The moon’s imprisonment will fail, but what should I do meanwhile? I have already perfected solitary tic-tac-toe. It involves a lot of coin flipping (or slightly odd-shaped rock flipping in my case) but there is some strategy to it. Solitary battleship could use some work, but it is difficult to focus. I feel drawn towards memories of easier times, when Celestia and I were inseparable.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” mutters Celestia while trotting next to me.

“You have a bad feeling about everything,” I respond, holding the six pilfered stones.

“Our intentions are good, but stealing the elements of harmony?!”

“Who could be more at harmony than us? We will beat Discord and return the elements. Father will be proud.”

I slip on one hoof after another, until I lose my balance altogether.

“He turned the roads to soap.” She offers me a hoof.

“You think we can beat him too, right?” I look up at her.

“There is nothing we can’t do together.” She pulls me up.

I feel foolish for asking, having just stated that we could beat him, but I have to know if she believes in us. I know she believes in Father and in herself but not us.

We don’t speak for the rest of the trip. I look over at my sister a few times to see a huge frown and small pupils. Despite her evident worry, at least she doesn’t complain any further about how we shouldn’t be doing this... verbally, anyway. My mind is also preoccupied by thoughts. I don’t doubt that this is a terrible idea, and that is why I can’t help but grin.

Before long, we arrive at Discord’s throne.

“So these are the daughters of King Cosmos?” says Discord. He scans over us both, but seems to eye me with particular interest before starting to smile.

“Your reign of chaos is at an end,” says Celestia.

“Your wittle daddy couldn’t stop me,” he says with his face inches away from Celestia. He laughs.

“And you can’t stop us. Ready sister?”

“Ready.”

With that our horns shoot out light that intertwines to form a rainbow. That rainbow, upon impact, forms a solid layer of stone around him. With a flash of light, Equestria is back to normal.

My sister and I quickly return to the palace, curious what praise Father will shower us with. We speculate and giggle the whole way back. It has been many years since ponies have been able to live a normal life, and each day Father looks more glum.

The great doors fling open; he does not look more pleased than before we left.

“We have beaten him, Father!” says Celestia.

“I know.”

“Are you not proud of us?” I chime in.

“Proud? Proud?! I told you to stay here!”

“But, Father!” she objects.

“Don’t ‘but, Father’ me! Do you know what could have happened to you! I’ve already lost one mare I can’t replace. Yet you expect me to be happy when you put yourselves in danger?”

This is the first time I have heard him refer to our mother.

“Equestria needed us!” shouts Celestia.

And the first time I have heard Celestia shout. I watch in shock as they continue to argue.

“Equestria needed you to steal the elements of harmony?!”

“Well somepony had to use them!”

“You’re telling me you knew they would work for you?! Poppycock! Nopony could have foreseen that they would take to you at such a young age!”

“But the fact that they did means we were the only ones who could beat him!”

“I am not having this argument with a child! There will be punishment! Now whose idea was it!?”

My throat tries to form words, but Celestia beats me to it.

“I did it!”

I want to speak up. I want to tell him that it was me. But my throat fails me, and merely aches instead. I had never cared about Father’s opinion nearly as much as Celestia, but even still I can’t bare the shame.

As I slowly trot out of the room I hear something about how, despite our new cutie marks, neither of us will raise about the sun or moon for a long time. I continue to trot away as a silent stream of tears flows down my face, until I get to our room. Then all silence is lost, as I wail into a pillow. For an hour, I contemplate what we had done, and why Father was upset with us.

Then Celestia enters the room. We didn’t have to share a room, living in a huge palace, but Celestia prefers it this way. On the rare occasion I would bring it up, Father would say something about it being good that Celestia wants for us to be close. It doesn’t normally bother me.

Today is not normal.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

“It’s okay.”

I am certain she is just saying that, the way she always does. Her passive aggressive nature has always annoyed me.

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes it is. What are sisters for?” She smiles.

I stare into her eyes skeptically for several seconds,but even the vague trace of disapproval that are continually present in her usually scrunched up face are gone. I hug her.

“Thank you.”

Initially, the memory seems almost treacherous at a time like this. But as I contemplate it, it affirms something for me. We are sisters; she can’t keep me here.

~~~

Night 452

I trot over to the counting wall. What had for months been a bunch of stray marks, was now “1 year 3 months” followed by a few lines. I had refused to change it for a while, as if somehow not expressing the need to use a system geared toward a longer stay, would allow me to break free sooner. But sheer boredom got the better of me.

I must have counted the ticks ten times. I need to know exactly how many there are. I don’t know if I will spend them on sympathy or vengeance, but they are the payment for my nights. They must be worth something.

I no longer remember what month I was sent here. However I want all my months to be consistent in value anyway, so I count them all as thirty nights. This makes for a few nights, where it has been twelve months but not yet a year. This works well though because, despite my shorthand, I think in nights anyway.

Staring at the wall makes me realize it is now exactly one year since I started to believe my sister would free me. A year shouldn’t mean anything with no light, no soil, and nopony else. Yet the realization of my feeble hope has never been so apparent as it is now that a year has passed. I thought those memories meant something. I had thought Celestia would at least visit.

I can’t imagine what has overcome her. Is her jealously so deep? Did she really never like me? Had she been awaiting the perfect opportunity? And what of the citizens of Equestria? Did not one of them notice my artistry? Is there not at least one loyal fan pleading with her? None of these questions matter though, as one fact is clear to me now. Whatever the reason, Celestia won’t lift a hoof to save me.

How was she able to use the elements against me? I was every bit as much their wielder as her. But for months this riddle had ceased to interest me. None of that matters. I am still stuck. I have repeatedly tried to tear through the rocky barrier that encases me, but there is no reason to try again today.

I lazily fall back onto the dust. Music had never been a strength of mine, nor was my memory of it from my education very clear. Yet, I had scribbled out notes, and imagined what the resulting noise would likely sound like. Countless times they had been edited just to give me something to do, but the futility of writing notes whose meaning eluded me was too much for days like today. I missed sound. I missed any noise that wasn’t my hooves or the dirt.

A sound I don’t remember the origin of echoes tauntingly through my mind. Scanning my memory for several minutes I contemplate why it sounds familiar.

A blur of white expands out of the darkness, as I hear the clutter of several objects falling. I pry my eyes open, to see Celestia digging through our closet. As much of a blessing as sunset was, it appeared to be morning, the most dreaded time of day.

“Isn’t there some other pony you could have get that for you?” I mumble.

“I have some personal items that I can’t risk leaving behind.”

“Can’t you at least do it later?”

“It’s noon.”

With a sigh, I thrust off the covers and push myself onto my feet. Could my sister really be leaving in less than an hour? “I still can’t believe Father is sending you away for what happened a month ago.”

“This isn’t about us beating Discord. Father is merely concerned.”

“About what?”

“With all the chaos that Discord had been causing, it has been years since either of us attended school. Do you know how behind we are?”

“How can we be behind? Nopony else was in school either.”

“We will be queens one day. If we don’t keep up with our education, we will never be prepared to rule this kingdom.”

“So then why aren’t I being sent away as well?”

“Because you haven’t fallen as far behind as I have. Why do you think it took me so long to get my cutie mark? It is difficult to discover talents like ours without education.”

Celestia’s eyes dart around our room. Then they settle on the clock. She slams her luggage closed, and picks it up with her mouth. Two other bags she lifts with magic.

“I really must be going. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon, sis.”

Could she really just leave? She had always been around. What if I had a question about her? I never had, but not being able to ask frightened me.

“Celestia?”

“Yes?”

“What was our mother like?”

She freezes. All of her bags fall.

“You ask me this now?” she says drawing out the word “now.”

“You won’t be around to tell me about her.”

“You’ve never shown in interest in talking about her before” she says.

“Well, I am now.”

“I really need to go. Father is waiting.”

“Please! I’ve always wanted to ask. I was just afraid you would react like Father.”

“Do you remember anything about her?” she asks.

I stare at the ground, and shake my head.

“She used to sing me to sleep with a lullaby. She had the most delightful voice.”

She digs at the ground nervously. My sister had always been a terrible liar.

“What lullaby?” I stare intently into her eyes.

She averts my gaze. “Uh… well… It was Hush Now, Quiet Now.”

“Really? If your going to lie don’t use the plot of The Sun Never Sleeps. I’ve read it just as many times as you have.”

“I know she didn’t really sing it, but it’s what I remember. That song always reminds me of her, even though I know I’ve never heard her sing it. The only thing I remember about her, that I know is true, is how much happier Father looked.”

“That’s not even about her! You’ve always been obsessed with Father!”

Her eyes begin to tear up, but this did nothing to deflate my wrath. Did she even love our mother?

“How did she die?!” I demand.

Her eyes become more tearful and she averts her gaze.

“You owe me that much! How did she die?!”

“That I do remember. Rushing to the hospital… plastic curtains, metal carts, and the smell of urine.”

Her inability to form even a single coherent memory, made me hate her.

“I’m not asking for a jumbled list!”

“She was a nurse! She died of a disease she caught from treating a friend! Are you happy?!”

I don’t know what to say. I forget the feud my sister and I are having. Though we were usually in harmony, we had had a few, and we were bound to have more. I never realized mother died in such a tragic way. I sit in silence.

I think I eventually wished my sister a pleasant farewell but I don’t remember. I remember being in shock for the rest of the day. What a fool mother was. She valued her friend more than being there for her family. If she weren’t so selfish, I wouldn’t be trapped in the moon right now.

Chapter 2

Night 783

Four nights I have been up trying to formulate a plan. For far too long, my concentration on escape has not been sincere enough. Often when I was on the precipice of an idea sleep would overtake me, but not this time. There would be no rest until I knew.

Or so I had thought. My plans are becoming increasingly absurd, and the ideas I had formerly been on the cusp of did not pan out. Even my sleep deprived mind now knew this had been a terrible idea.

The weight of my eyes is so great that it is impossible to know whether the cries of “sleep. sleep. sleep,” are coming strictly from my brain, or are also coming from my mouth. But I can not sleep just yet. A new night has just started. It needs to be numbered.

Getting to my hooves is difficult. Walking is easier, though I feel dizzy. Thankfully the wall isn’t far away, but upon arriving at the wall Celestia stands in my way.

“Writing on this wall is a waste of time,” she mutters.

“You could visit me all along?!” I shout.

“Yes,” she replies simply.

“Why now?!”

“Bored,” she says shrugging.

“Are you ever going to let me out of here?!”

She shrugs again.

I used to wish she was more direct, but not even pretending to care is more aggravating.

Then she transforms into father and I realize this is some sort of hallucination.

“Let me guess. You’re going to say you always liked Celestia better.” I mutter.

But he doesn’t so much as turn his head toward me. Instead he walks right through me.

“What do you want?!” I shout.

Yet again there is not the slightest indication that he heard me. He doesn’t change pace.

I chase after him, get in front of him, and stand my ground.

“Go away!” I yell.

He transforms into mother. In truth, it is a slightly altered version of Celestia that stands before me, but I know it is her.

She passes through me, and trots back to where Celestia had stood. She turns toward me and says, “Follow me my daughter.”

As she starts to disappear I harshly swipe my hoof through her and say, “Why would I want to!”

The mark left on the wall by my hoof, is far deeper and longer than the others, but it is on the counting wall.

~~~

Night 1,913

The several hundred foot long stretch on which musical notes had been etched into the moon’s dusty surface, was now blank. The only evidence that anything had been there was the thinner coating of dust due to a hoof hastily wiping away its contents.

There were numerous such wiped away areas. Some had contained rules for solitaire games, others had detailed what my conversation with Celestia will be like when I escape, while others still contained attempts to draw. Repeatedly I had forgotten that my artistic ability does not apply to doodling.

The only thing I had written or drawn that survived my rampage was the counting wall. I wouldn’t lose count even without it; time passes too slowly to lose track of. Yet, unless it was to increment the count, or to clarify the number, I couldn’t lay a hoof on it.

The surfaces I lazily let my eyes wander over while I lay in bed (not all dust is equally soft) no longer capture my interest.

I am stuck. My drilling attempts have been more and more successful, but are still failures. Were my attempts more than a small fraction of what is needed, maybe some day escape would be possible. It isn’t. Yet nopony cares.

How is it that I once admired the words of Clover the Clever that likened loneliness to a flickering candle? A candle conveys nothing of what I feel. Words can’t convey anything. What were my favorite works are now my shame.

I stare at a blank wall in disinterest, not wanting to think.

“With hotels on both Manhattan and Canterlot, you owe me two thousand bits,” I say.

“Here you go.” says my sister handing them over without hesitating.

“Wow Cele. You sure are rich. That’s the third time around the board in a row that you have landed on those,” I say. I am surprised she isn’t out of business yet, but a few more times around the board will fix that. How many times will it take though?

“How much money do you have anyway?”

“Enough,” she states.

My sister isn’t usually evasive. Further, I could have sworn I felt something bump my hoof. Upon glancing under the table, I notice my sister is nervously digging at the ground.

She had to be up to something, but she would never do that.

“Celestia are you... cheating?” I made sure to say the last word quietly and quickly

Without so much as blushing she proclaimed, “I’ve been robbing the bank the whole game.” She giggled.

“That’s not right!” I shot back fiercely.

“You do it all the time!”

She isn’t wrong about that, but that isn’t the point. She is my older sister. Where does she get off copying me.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a goody two shoes!”

“I thought you hated it when I’m a goody two shoes!”

Whenever Celestia wanted to tell father about something I had done, which was most of the time, it bothered me. But for once I am relying on her being a goody two shoes.

“Fine, if you’re me, then I’m you! I’m going to tell on you!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” she said, her cheeks finally blushing.

I dart out of the room with her chasing after me. But before she can catch me, or even finish saying, “What about that time I didn’t tell...” we reach Father.

“Celestia cheated at Monopopony,” I blurt out.

There is silence. Immediately I regret unleashing our Father’s shame upon her. But then he says, “It’s only a game,” before gently patting me on the head.

It was rare for him to be in such a good mood, but even given his unusually cheery disposition, would he have said the same thing if it had been me?

~~~

Night 5,813

Though calculating the number of nights from the number of years and months that have passed gives me something to do, it interferes with always knowing how many nights it has been. I wipe away the 15 years 11 months and several tick marks. The number 5,813 takes its place.

It is a large number. I know it is right for I remember every one of its predecessors, but its size still shocks me. Even though at the time, time seemed slow, looking back it had been very fast. Fifteen years without contact with anypony else, yet I am alive and of sound mind. It is a testament to my strength.

Celestia, with her need to be validated by others, wouldn’t last a night. She probably thinks I am dead. My existence would eventually fade into the annals of history. Nopony would remember me. The Elements of Harmony would eventually find new owners and they would have no idea who I am.

The seal on the moon would break.

Sadly, alicorns don’t age past maturity, so they tend to live incredibly long lives. Thus, it may be awhile before Celestia passes. But even alicorns can’t live forever. If nothing else, disease will eventually get her. But on the moon, who will infect me? And Cely surely wouldn’t be confident enough in my survival to pass on the knowledge of my existence.

Then again, Celestia had always been cautious. Perhaps she would live far longer than I thought. It wasn’t as though I was immortal on the moon either. But would it really be so bad if I never escaped? With my sister willing to betray me and not a single fan out there, I had always been alone. All that had changed was that the illusion of comradery was gone. Being foolish enough to believe this illusion, perhaps this is better for me.

While there had been numerous terrible nights, some of them hadn’t been so bad. Sometimes they were even enjoyable and when they weren’t it was often because I had permitted myself to wallow in pity. But such things are beneath me.

Regardless, one thing is clear; all I can do is wait.

I am in the old room my sister and I shared growing up. The memories there made it hard not to be drawn to it, yet actually being there does nothing. If I felt like getting up, I would undoubtedly go to a different room. But I don’t.

Instead, I just lie there in a bed that is scarcely long enough for me, not thinking. Ponies always said that it was not thinking that got them in trouble, but I always found it to be the opposite. Thinking wrong and deceptive thoughts led to poor choices. Not thinking lead to nothing, and nothing had never done me any harm.

The door begins to creak, and looking over at it reveals Celestia trying to sneak in.

“You know our door isn’t quiet enough for that to work.”

Celestia smiles and says, “You can’t blame me for trying. You seem to be in the mood for silence.”

I’m not sure what she means, so I shrug and say, “You can scream at the top of your lungs for all I care.”

“Then why aren’t you at the funeral?”

I shrug again and respond, “They never really did anything for me.”

“I know it isn’t easy...” she begins, but I cut her off.

“Look, you have your way of dealing with this, and I have mine. Yours is to have a public farewell, so go out and have it. What will they think if neither of his daughters are there.”

“Since when do you care what other ponies think?”

“I don’t, but you do. That’s why you should be the one who goes.”

There’s a moment’s pause during which she frowns, but after a deep breath she continues.

“I know you like to be alone when you are upset. Father told me of how you shut yourself in your room for days after I was sent off to school. But he also told me that it wasn’t until after the two of you talked that you came around.”

Knowing she’s right I mutter, “Maybe, but I hate it when ponies spend just enough time with me for everything to seem alright, and then they leave. Sometimes appearances are deceiving.”

“Why do you think I would do that?”

“Because you have a funeral to be at,” I mutter.

She looks back apprehensively for a moment, but then that same wild and crazy look that overcame her the night of the coin flip overtook her face.

“I can say goodbye to our father at any time. Right now, I have a sister who needs me.”

I smile and say, “In which case I propose one ground rule; No mentioning him for twenty four hours. In the meantime, let’s just hang out like we used to. It’s been so long since we’ve spent time together, not as royalty, but as sisters.”

She likewise smiles and says, “Very well.”

If only that was where the memory ended. We had fun for a couple of hours just drinking coffee and talking over a box of donuts. But then...

“Those were good times. Father sure had a handful with us,” said Celestia.

“What about our agreement?” I gently remind her.

“I have to talk about him.”

“I’m just asking for a few more hours.” I plead.

“I don’t understand how you can put off dealing with this.” she said sighing.

“I am dealing with it, just not with words. Not yet.”

Again the castle fell silent.

“But many of our best memories involve him. You can’t just pretend he didn’t exist.”

“I don’t want to pretend he never existed, I want to pretend he never died!” I blurt out.

“We can’t! We are queens now!”

“His blood is still warm, and you are worried about the throne!”

“The truth is what it is! I’m just trying to help!” says Celestia blushing slightly.

“Yet you can’t just give me a moment to sort things out!”

“I given you a couple hours! Maybe I need to talk about it!”

“And maybe I need not to!”

There is a brief lull in the shouting, during which neither of us look at each other.

“Fine, we can still call ourselves princesses, but it doesn’t change anything.” she says.

This pleases me slightly, but I do not feel compelled to say anything.

“I’m sorry,” begins Celestia. Even being mad at her, it is difficult not to admire how much more quickly she gets over her anger. I feel mine starting to abate but then she continues talking.

“Father wouldn’t have wanted us to fight.”

“Who cares what he would have wanted! He’s dead!” I spit, walking away from my sister.

~~~

Night 11,006

I carve another mark into the wall, similarly to how I will carve them all into Celestia’s back, slowly and with great force. To think I used to feel remorse that it would take Celestia’s death for me to escape. Now my only regret is that I wouldn’t get to do it myself.

I had endured a fate far worse than jail, and for committing what crime? My extended night hadn’t harmed anypony. Yet my sister somehow banished me here with the Elements of Harmony. She must have perverted them as well.

I shudder to think what has befallen the common pony during these dark times. After Celestia snapped, who knows what she might have wrought these past thirty years. The more I think about it the more I know I have to save them.

I begin drilling as I had many times before, but now that I had accepted what I had for so long been in denial about, the thought that this endeavor could fail is laughable. Celestia was family, so it was only natural for me to want to think the best of her, but this had gone on for too long. The ponies need a hero. They need me.

The deeper the new escape tunnel becomes, the more invigorated I feel. Instead of falling prey to tiredness, as was usually the case when getting this far in, a newfound restless power continues to emerge from within me. It is the determination to beat my sister.

The conclusion to our battle is coming. Soon she would beg me to stop attacking, but instead of leaving her to go insane, I would beat sense into her.

“Sister, are you alright? You are usually very punctual. It is half an hour passed dawn but the moon is still up,” says Celestia.

“Celestia, would you say my nights are more beautiful than your days?” I ask.

There is a brief pause then she responds with, “Yes, they are. But ponies need the sun to grow their food.”

“Really? You truly think my nights are better? Have you even looked at the night sky since we had a similar conversation?”

“I have been very busy. But that’s not the point...”

I cut her off, “Attending royal duties no doubt. A role you took over a mere two days after his funeral. That has to be some kind of record.”

Celestia sighs and resumes speaking, “I’m not proud of that, but our personal discrepancies can wait.”

“Until when?! Until you get a free moment! Tell me sister, how long has it been since we last spoke?”

She smiles nervously and then mutters, “... A couple of years maybe?”

“Try fifty!”

“Please, sister, I had no idea. I realize that getting caught up in running a kingdom is no excuse, but can you forgive me? I’ll make time for you from now on, I promise.”

“It is too late! If you’d paid any attention to me, you would know that I realized long ago that day is outdated!”

“Outdated?”

“We no longer need it! I submit we are better off without it!”

“What will the earth ponies use to grow food?”

“There are magical means that can achieve a similar effect without the burden of sunlight!”

“It’s a complex spell. We do not have enough magical talent for some ponies not to starve!”

“It is a small price to pay for a revolution! No longer will we have your oppressive sun to tell us when to do what. There will be no standard business hours nor accepted time to sleep. Ponies will take their fates into their own hooves! And no more of the showy artistry of your sun, to inspire ponies to seek the approval of others. Instead there will be but the subtle artistry of night, which will inspire art for its own sake!”

Celestia pleads, “Please, if for no other reason than as a personal favor to your sister, take down the moon! This isn’t a matter of schedules or art, but life and death!”

“I didn’t think you’d understand,” I say shaking my head.

My sister flies off. For almost an hour the night glimmers on. I begin to wonder what ponies are making of their new life, but I can only speculate as none have yet left their homes.

My sister shows up with the Elements of Harmony.

At this I can’t help but laugh. Does she really think something that is half mine can be used against me?

But then two conflicting thoughts occupy my mind. One is finding this humorous, the other is remorseful. Three of the elements levitate into place around me, while the other three do so around her. Then I understand, she never planned on using them by herself. Part of me is going to help her.

Light shoots from her into me, and I can feel both her and myself pushing me out of my body through the elements. Uncomfortable though the sensation is, it soon stops, and I still exist.

“I’m sorry sister, but there is only one other way.” says Celestia with tears now silently sliding down her face.

“I understand.” say my treacherous unprompted lips.

Again a light shoots from her into me, only this time everything fades to black.

Upon recalling this, I instantly cease drilling. I hadn’t even realized I had forgotten part of the confrontation until just now. But not only had these memory contained my role in helping her, but it also contained the realization that had lead me to do so. There is an evil entity within me.

This shocks me for a while, but never before has the possibility of escape felt so real. Perhaps all of that was just a dream. Yes, that must be it. With my mind no longer plagued by the impossible, I continue drilling. However, even my newfound strength doesn’t take me nearly far enough, before I pass out.

Chapter 3

Night 26,856

It has been over forty years since my record breaking escape attempt. I have attacked these walls every night since, but none of my attempts have come close to that one. The delusion has not been of escape but of practice that will lead to it. Yet forty years had scarcely increased my drilling distance to eight miles, which wasn’t even a third of that one night.

I had thought it had just been sheer determination, or a willingness to keep going until passing out, yet both these things had driven me on other nights.

Her presence was the only thing that really stands out about it. I know there isn’t really someone possessing me, since the elements of harmony would surely have done away with Her. Being sealed away in the moon was just an extra measure put in place by my sister because she doesn’t trust me. She took advantage of my desperate state.

But despite this, it is easier to think of my fluctuations in my anger at Celestia, and those sun worshipping traitors who care not about my disappearance, as another entity. Some nights I can feel Her clouding my mind. Others I find myself wishing my sister and I were reminiscing about old times over a couple of shakes. Yet never has her presence felt so real as it did on that night.

Since She isn’t real, this does nothing to explain the overwhelming power that was at my disposal. It felt as though this weak vessel were the only thing holding me back from being able to go on drilling forever. It made escape seen not only possible but inevitable. If I could just draw upon that energy again.

Yet if somehow it really was Her who was the source of that strength, it made sense I hadn’t been able to use it since. That anger had been greatly inflated by my hopelessness.

Tonight’s drilling practice would be different. Recently it had occurred to me even the markings on the counting wall could be mistaken for an attempt at escape. After all, it was a displacement of a layer of dust that held me here. Yet the elements do not repair this.

Would a small enough hole be repaired? The answer seemed to be no, as the small hole I had been forming all night grew deeper the moon does not repair itself. Perhaps a certain amount of dirt that needed to be displaced, but even as my peep hole reaches the mile marker nothing happens.

The small size of the hole had another advantage. It takes considerably less magic to form. Drilling this hole further was so easy it was dull.

Celestia beams at me radiantly after we come to a halt on the outfield. It was no surprise that she does so, as we both knew she would be my first pick.

But then the rarity of this opportunity struck me. Only once a year does our entire school play ball together (since there are about thirty of us it works out reasonably well), but more rare than that, I was one of the team captains.

We were chosen at random, and given the number of students and the few remaining years I would have here, the odds were against me that I’d ever be chosen again. But for once I have power. Being first to pick, I can choose any pony I want.

I could play ball with my sister anytime, however Frahdreck is the coolest pony in school. Choosing him was bound to make earn me at least a few cool points.

“Frahdreck.” I call.

My sister looks stunned, but I didn’t really expect to do that either. I could explain it to her later. The other captain will surely pick my sister, but would it really be so bad being the second pick?

But he doesn’t pick her.

My sister was the first born daughter of the ruler of Equestria, and was destined to someday have a celestial body on her flank, yet the other captain doesn’t notice her. For some reason the notion that somepony who was so popular back home isn’t here, intrigued me.

So I call out another name.

Still the other captain does not pick my sister.

Curious how long this could go on, I pick somepony else.

So does he.

Each time I was sure he couldn’t possibly think of yet another pony he’d rather have than my sister, yet each time I was proven wrong.

Until finally my sister was the last to be picked, and she ended up on the other team.

While our team walks out into the field, I recognize the other captain. I have never seen him around, but my sister had confided that she had a crush. She hadn’t gone into great detail, but his freckled face and black mane matched the description.

School was soon over, but how could time help but move quickly when reminiscing in the recent glory of our narrow victory with my team mates. I ran home so elated by our day off from school work and our triumph in the match, that I forgot to wait up for my sister.

When passing the bathroom, it became apparent that my sister had somehow beat me home. There was an unmistakable young female sob emitting from it. Her tears weren’t even silent as they usually were on the rare occasion I had seen her cry.

I knock at the door. “Cely?”

No response.

I knock again. “I’m sorry about what I did. I wanted you on my team. I really did.”

A couple of seconds pass and the door opens. Her puffy eyes stare into the depths of mine. “Why didn’t you pick me then?”

I don’t try to answer. There is no answer. Not knowing what else to say I mutter, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going to tell father if that’s what you’re worried about.” Her voice conveys neither caring nor bitterness. It was as though she really believed that was all that concerned me.

She enters our room, and I don’t dare follow suit until I am ready for bed.

To this day I don’t know if she was already asleep by the time I crawled into bed, or if she was pretending. This memory had long been a source of regret, but now it just made my bitterness toward Celestia more intense. To think I had regretted slighting her in such a small way, when all along she was biding her time until she could trap me in here.

Excitement washed away my bitterness, as I could feel the area where my magic was drilling to be dozens of miles away from me. My tiny hole had made significant progress, but better still, the hole still wasn’t resealing itself.

~~~

Night 63,276

Despite having made a hole all the way through the moon, I have often been consumed by her lately. The idea of being able to make a small hole all the way through the moon, can only excite one for so long.

Back then I used to fight her off, because I was afraid and I thought Celestia deserved better. Yet a century has passed and never has there been a single chance to redeem myself to my sister.

With Celestia so clearly in the wrong, fearing Her doesn’t make sense. Have I not every right to be angry at my sister. Even if She is a real entity, and the one who possessed me, before we were sealed in the moon together, so what. She has done nothing to harm me. She has done nothing to harm anypony.

All She has done is offered me strength, and allowed me to stand up for myself. Her determination, or was it my own, to make the shift from day night cycles to perpetual night, was overzealous, but surely by the time starvation became an issue we would have backed down.

With each passing night She seems more like a friend, and I am more inclined to believe She is real. Yet still it is difficult to give Her control. Despite Her strength, without which I doubt I could have survived nearly this long, Her desire for complete unquestioning obedience is unnerving. She wants what is best for me, but it is difficult not to be nervous. Especially when She has shown me that nopony has done right by me.

Besides, even Her strength isn’t enough to escape. It took a year to make a tiny hole all the way through the moon. At first making the hole deeper was easy, but as I had to reach further and further away from my body with my magic it became difficult. Some days no more than a few feet were added to it. For much of the year I feared that even without the moon sealing behind me a hole about the size of my eye was too much for me.

Thankfully I’m not quite that pathetic, but even still, what good does it do me. Widening the hole more than a few inches causes it to reform. Even creating another hole near it has a similar effect. Before the hole had been finished it seemed synonymous with escape. There was nothing else. Now there is just nothing.

I have spent more years playing with that tiny hole, than trying to drill free. Being able to see space had to mean something. But what?

I sat just staring through the hole I had made. Recently I had learned a spell that let me see all the way through it. Yet even being able to see the stars doesn’t make it useful. But then again... they were my stars. I made them. Further the spell on my sight applied to voice and hearing as well.

“Stars, can you hear me? This is your princess! Destroy the sphere that hath betrayed me!”

It had been a long time since I had spoken that way, but when angry or trying to seem threatening sometimes the speech with which I would address my subjects (on the rare occasion this happened) would pass my lips.

Tilting my ear up toward the hole a whisper entered it.

“We are yours now as ever but we are far and our power is limited. Yet a night is coming when we shall align. The moon shall be weak and your escape imminent. Since your capture we have planned for that night. The shortest night on the thousandth year.”

It was incredibly long time from now, yet finally escape was coming and I knew when it was. Further, though ponies had not done right by me others like my stars had. There were those who were loyal to me, and no doubt She is among them. Yet still I felt the need to give my sister one last chance.

I am sitting on a stool, at the bar we had often scraped up extra bits wherever we could to get shakes at together. The tender would have been more than happy to give my sister and I whatever we liked (assuming it wasn’t alcoholic of course), but my father had a talk with him, as he had with many ponies, to ensure we weren’t spoiled.

Today my sister wasn’t with me. She would be meeting me here. But as I uneasily watched every patron enter I begin to wonder if she would ever come. She still has five minutes left but after waiting for twenty five minutes it seemed impossible that something more important than me hasn’t come up.

Yet a familiar white mare enters. Since she is still thirty feet away, I convince myself I am seeing things, but as she takes up a seat beside me she is unmistakable. She had grown since last I saw her and she looked more majestic somehow.

“How’s school?” I ask.

“You see your sister for the first time in months, and the first thing you want to talk about it school? Looks like someone has lost her sense of fun while I’ve been gone.” Celestia smirks.

“You think just because you know school isn’t fun you can make witty retorts? If you know so much about fun what should I have asked?”

“Er.... “ She paused for thinking for a moment. “Broken any laws?” she says sheepishly.

At this we both laughed. “Just because you don’t know how to have fun, doesn’t mean anything you don’t want to do is enjoyable.”

“Strange I could have sworn you told me almost exactly that once.”

“I never said it wasn’t an easy mistake to make. Anyway if you want a more interesting question. What about boys?”

“Er.. yeah there are some there.” says Cely blushing.

“Well I should hope so,” I say chuckling slightly. “Do you have any crushes?” I continue.

To this she shrugs and says, “A couple of them are kinda cute.”

“You going to ask any of them out?”

“What for? It’s not as though we can get married. There aren’t any alicorns left we aren’t related to,” says my sister sighing.

“I never said anything about marriage. Lighten up Cely.”

“It probably means I’m too serious but I don’t see the point if I know I won’t marry them.”

“Does there always have to be a point? Can’t you just have fun.”

“It’s a personal weakness.” she says shrugging.

“Besides, who says you have to marry an alicorn?”

“Any other pony would die way before me.”

“So, It could be good while it lasts.”

“You have always been stronger than me when it comes to that sort of thing. You could probably handle it, but I never could.” says Celestia staring solemnly into the counter.

I pound the counter while putting down a handful of bits and blurting out, “A couple of shakes in dirty glasses. Don’t skimp on the ice cream.”

My sister looks at me, but she is completely unfazed by my antics.

“Why so serious all of the sudden Cely?” I look back into her eyes with a rare look of concern.

“I know we’re young, but Luna I made a life decision at that school I’m positive I’ll never break. All I wanted to do was hang out with one of those cute guys who asked me out but I just couldn’t. I’ll never be able to do it. Making friends is hard enough knowing they’ll die around you. How do you deal with it?”

Our shakes arrived, and I was grateful to have the moment sipping on it to think.

“Some of us don’t think about tomorrow. When tomorrow does come we’ll just confide in our other friends. I’d travel the world and meet everypony if I could. I know the crown is an honor that so few receive, but to me its always felt like jail. It makes it difficult for ponies to get close to me...” say I staring intently into my shake before realizing I’d been of no help. Sorry, I’m just answering your confusion with more confusion.” I add.

“It’s okay.” she said smiling. “Sometimes it just helps to realize you’re not the only one who is confused.” she continued. “Does the crown really feel like jail to you?”

“Absolutely. I’ll have duties and won’t be able to live a normal life, and though I try to have friends, they have a bad habit of getting very formal around me. Or sometimes I find out the only reason they gave me the time of day was for their dad’s political career.”

“And I feel exactly the opposite. By serving the citizens this way I feel like we’ll really have the opportunity to inspire them. Not to mention we’ll get to watch society evolve. Being a princess makes being an alicorn bearable.”

“But just being an alicorn means you can get to know so many ponies intimately in a lifetime. You can do so much good on the personal level and learn so many interesting stories.”

“For what its worth I think that sort of thinking is exactly what we need in a princess. With just me things would go well overall perhaps but there wouldn’t be that intimate touch that makes Equestria. Also you’ll be more in tune with the populous. What would I do without you?”

“I don’t know” I say blushing. “Sorry I wasn’t able to help.” I add.

“Sorry I wasn’t able to offer you any advice either, yet just talking with you makes me feel so much better.”

We both clang the class cups of our shakes together, before saying, “To sisters.” and drinking deeply.

Yet even this memory that has always been one of my fondest now feels bitter. There will be no forgiveness. In over eight hundred years I will escape and Celestia will not have the elements of harmony on her side. I am no longer divided.

~~~

Night 108,455

It was hard not to wonder if numbering the night wasn’t more effort than it was worth, now that the number of the night of our escape could easily be calculated. Yet if somehow we escaped sooner, we have to know exactly how many nights it has been. Some nights we check the number multiple times to make sure we counted the night and did not add wrong.

But tonight we are doing something far more interesting. The finishing touches are being made to our masterpiece. With the help of the entity I used to call Her, it is easier to use magic on things great distances away, and even to see what is occurring there. But She is no longer She, for I do nothing without Her.

Our masterpiece has taken several decades to etch into the moon’s surface; we were greatly hindered by knowing nothing of sketching when we started. Yet after several attempts Celestia undoubtedly knew now that we were coming for her. Our face is now a permanent fixture on the moon’s surface.

It is only too bad we can not see the expression on her face. Perhaps she thinks she had broken our spirit long ago. Maybe she has been operating under the delusion that these centuries have somehow cooled our temper. But the angry face of the mare of night left no doubt. It conveys a simple message of revenge.

Though three hundred years had passed, and the memory of any taste other than the taste of dust had long since died, the remaining seven hundred years don’t sound so long. Surely they would have, when we were constantly back and forth on emotional highs and lows; uncertain how to feel about our sister. But since becoming us, time is easy. Still annoying but easy.

Even without any more canvas with which to convey it upon, we could vent our ire for seven hundred years. But it isn’t just her. It is the world that pretends to care.

I am quietly inhaling a late dinner at a twenty four hour dinner. From what little I have seen of him had a certain girth and grunt that gave him a seedy down to earth feel, that my adventures had proved to be surprisingly uncommon in these establishments.

It has been many years since we had left that note in the palace. Even when leaving I knew part of me wanted Celestia to stop me. After wandering aimlessly around Equestria I now knew all of me wanted that.

Some nights I even considered not lowering the moon, just to see if she would notice. But stubborn pride was no reason to not perform my one duty. Only one royal duty remained for me and it benefitted everypony. I could at least do it.

Has Celestia even noticed my absence? Does she care I was off trying to find myself? Ever since father died, that trip throughout Equestria (a recurring fantasy of mine) appealed even more to me. As royal duties stacked up it seemed like the perfect time to run away from it all.

Yet somehow when dreaming of this adventure, I hadn’t been alone; all of the bar keeps and dinner owners magically knew my name, and my sister visited periodically. No doubt my absence had created extra work for her, but was there really so many urgent matters she couldn’t spare a moment for me? I had never told her exactly where I was going, but she could have found me if she wanted to.

Yet I ate alone on a stool at a dingy diner. The place was empty, but the guy on the other side of the bar didn’t ask about my troubles while cleaning a dirty glass. Instead he was usually in the back, except for when he occasionally came out to see if I needed something.

He didn’t recognize me, for I knew from the very beginning of this trip, if I intended to see how normal ponies behave and befriend them without wondering if it was because of my crown, using illusions to disguise my appearance was necessary.

I had received kindness from a stranger or two, but invariably they would eventually be busy when I needed them. Except for one mare. When we first meet I thought for sure that failing to even produce a believable name had blown any chance I might have had with him.

Yet he introduced himself with an equally feeble pseudonym and a smile. Several fun nights on the town later and there were still no real introductions. That was okay, we were just having fun. But then he mentioned in passing that he prefered the sun over the moon. No matter how much I tried to smile at this, my tears shown through.

It was impossible to explain to him why this seemingly harmless comment had upset me. His preferences weren’t the real problem so much as the dawning realization that he knew nothing about me and I would never be willing to change that. How could I admit to being the Luna who disgraced the throne by abandoning her crown? Watching him wither and die doesn’t sound fun anyway.

After running out on my dinner with him, tears still streaming down my face, not saying a word, I trod alone for a few hours in a nearby forest. But after much thought that illuminated nothing my stomach reminded me I had eaten nothing. That is how I ended up here.

Still it was hard to shake the feeling that maybe somehow I hadn’t given the world enough of a chance to shine. It occurs to me that perhaps ancient wisdom lurks in this purveyor of food and beverage that would make sense of everything. Of any of these purveyors had a unique brand of wisdom from watching ponies come and go, this was the guy.

“If everything is shrouded in darkness what do you do?” I asked, as the server re-entered and began wiping of the counter.

Would he say, “There can be no darkness that shrouds everything. The darkest nights are illuminated that much more by the stars?”

Or perhaps he would say, “Why flee before the darkness. The unknown is nothing to fear.”

But instead he killed my reeling dreams about the world as he grunted, “What kind of question is that! Turn on a light!”

The world was not prepared for the subtle beauty of our nights, nor were there the many friends just waiting for us to meet them. Even our old friends from school grew distant. But our true strength was in being alone, for even alone we were still together. Only She who shared our mind was a friend, and we were the only friend the other needed.

Chapter 4

Night 363,217

Beside the current number on the counting wall, sat the number of the night of our escape 365,394. A few different numbers had preceded it but only because calculating when the shortest night of the year would fall was difficult. We are so used to counting years as a constant three hundred and sixty five days and months as a constant thirty, that it took several attempts and many nights to get it right. Yet this number had remained there for centuries. We are positive it is right.

Though these centuries had not been fun, our only friend helps pass the time. In truth the time was cut by more than half, as our friend is always eager for control. This trait that we used to find disturbing, we now understand is her way of shielding us from such an unbearable length of time. For it has still been a very long time.

While thoughts of our eventual escape have often been more daunting than comforting, they have just been further fuel for the fire that will be unleashed on our sister. Knowing the futility of trying to escape before that glorious day, and having long ago tired of all my earlier pursuits such, we often dwelt on Celestia and what she has done.

Every interaction we had ever shared we now understood the true meaning of. What had once seemed so vastly out of character, we can now see as the inevitable result of our blindness toward her malicious nature. She is the worst kind of villain in that she is patient. She craftily manipulated everything so that we would defy her, giving her the perfect excuse to banish us, so that nopony would question it.

It was truly brilliant the way she was even able to get us to go along with the plan. The novel of her deeds floods the surfaces. For the last several years now we had been obsessed with recording them in case somehow we ever forgot. Yet even amnesia is no longer an acceptable excuse to forget, thus the words cover every surface. They are inescapable.

Several pages had inadvertently been erased by carelessness, but their contents have been replaced by worse deeds. Yet each new day the way her listed deeds is so incomplete pains me. Our hoof must not stop recording her crimes until the night we escape.

The night with that unhelpful diner keeper, made me consider going home. We so wanted to see Cely, yet the idea of returning to all that paperwork and royal duties is still revolting. So much so that we reconsidered and kept at our journey of misery for a couple more years.

Now a decade later, finally I am home. It isn’t a decision I made at any one time so much as progressively more so each day. At one point I decided to at least get closer to home, and the closer I got the more I considered stopping by. Ultimately that decision morphed into the decision to just return outright instead.

The guards greet me enthusiastically as I trot down the royal corridors. That is to say, they nod at me almost imperceptibly instead of just staring at me stoically. It is as if showing emotion would somehow cause them to forget how to hold a spear. It is for this reason I always found the presence of guards odd.

But this didn’t stop me, upon entering the throne room and seeing my sister wasn’t there, from asking one of the guards where my sister had gone.

“Her highness is taking care of a disaster in Las Pegasus, your highness,” He says quickly scarcely moving his mouth.

Briefly I consider asking if he knows when she’ll be back, but think better of it. Having waited years, waiting a few more hours wouldn’t kill me. Instead I ask him, “Are you glad to see me return after being gone for a decade?”

“Overjoyed your highness.” He says without his usual frown shifting even slightly.

Refraining from asking if he even understands what joy is, I retire to my chamber.

Leaping back first onto my comfy mattress reveals that there is something lumpy on my bed. I get up and peel a scroll off my back. There are a whole pile of tens of scrolls on the middle of my mattress.

I read the one that had been attached to me.

“Hey Luna, sorry we haven’t gotten a chance to see each other over this last... how long has it been now... a year maybe? For some reason my royal duties have significantly increased, and on the rare chance I get to slip away for a bit you aren’t around. The guards won’t tell me anything of your whereabouts during these times though, other than to become ill at ease and ultimately say they don’t know. I’m hardly surprised, as you always have liked to go out on your own without having to specifically commit to going to any one place. Even so, could you please tell the guards so that we can see each other sometime? Further, I know how much more you prefer to talk face to face, but could you please start replying to these messages. I rarely get the opportunity to scratch them down during meetings, but would still appreciate a reply. I hope we do let such little things come between us”

I am sure she meant to put “don’t” instead of “do.” She likely wrote this in a hurry. But how could she not know I was gone? It had been ten years, not one! The reason her responsibilities increased is because I left! How did she not know that? Did she really not care?! Regardless I will have to have a talk with my sister as soon as she gets back.

That conversation wouldn’t happen for another forty years. We have since realized that if anything that “mistake” in the message was at best her accidentally announcing her true intentions. Or perhaps it was there on purpose disguised as a slip up encase anyone else read it, yet meant to tell us to back off. That was probably it, as the next time they met we were forcibly removed from her life. She would learn to regret that.

~~~

Night 365,394

For one who has waited for a thousand years, one more night should be nothing. It isn’t exactly long but it could have easily been seven nights. Tonight's the night of our escape, yet ironically the stars will not align properly until nearly dawn.

The moon is slowing down. It is almost time. We double check the counting wall, for the moon’s next occupant to see the duration of their stay. Then suddenly we feel the seal on the moon break.

My connection reforming with the moon is an odd sensation since we had nearly forgotten at one point this had been normal, yet the feeling of the moon being released, as if ropes being tightly wound around it were cut, is overwhelming.

Whereas before there had been no possible method of escape, suddenly there are many. In our empowered state we knew anything that had previously failed would surely work now. We could make an entrance. The temptation to rip the moon in half is strong, but we are so tired of moon dust we teleported into the middle of the throne room.

We shouldn’t have been surprised. Celestia had always been predictable, but it is still bizarre to see Celestia in the very first place we look. Part of us want to immediately resume our battle, but how would she ever learn if we didn’t make her understand first.

“Had you really so little clue that we would escape, that you would be at such an obvious place?” I taunt.

“I should be in Ponyville right now celebrating the summer sun celebration. It is because I knew you would escape and where you would look, that I am here,” said Celestia softly. She spoke not only as though she had never trapped us in the moon for a thousand years but as if we’d never fought at all.

“You never did know when you were outmatched. This time only half the elements of harmony are on your side.” say I shoving the hopelessness of the situation into Celestia’s thick skull.

But it did not sink in, as she continued to speak calmly, “None of the elements remain on my side, but that doesn’t matter. I just want to talk to my sister. Please Luna, I know you are in there. You are stronger than Nightmare Moon.”

“Whether I am or not doesn’t matter. Nightmare moon as you call her has been at my side these thousand years when you have not. Why would I let her go?”

Celestia stares straight into our eyes with the expression she would only give when deadly serious and says, “She is controlling your mind. Of course she has made herself appear to be a friend. Look at the way she has turned you against me. Friends don’t turn sisters against each other.”

“You’re right, friends don’t do that. Only you would turn sisters against each other!” I spit.

“I had no choice! Back then you understood!”

“I was a fool! You were always more concerned about Equestria then your own sister!”

Celestia opens her mouth slightly but quickly closes it again. Our remark had clearly put her in her place and now she had nothing to say. It isn’t nearly enough to make up for the last thousand years, but her silence is a start.

“But why shouldn’t you be concerned about your popularity with the Equestrian people! They have always preferred you!” I yell.

“Luna” she says softly with a look of concern.

Her pity angers us. She doesn’t truly understand, but instead thinks we are misguided. Her prior silence is meaningless if her crimes are still a mystery to her. Thankfully there would be plenty of time to clarify.

“Is that what this is about? You can take the sun and I the moon,” she continues.

It is truly pathetic watching our sister’s attempt to understand. What had caused us to realize what kind of mare she is no longer matters. Everything she said made it clear that she hadn’t changed. She is still the same pony with empty words and naive ideals she had always been.

“We already told you that day is outdated! We want neither your sun nor your popularity! We have come to establish a new order! The Lunar Republic!”

Tiring of mere words, we charge horn first at Celestia. It is time to have our rematch. Yet no matter how close we get she does not budge. Finally our horn digs deep into her soft flesh, as we smack into her. We pull our horn out causing blood to pour from a sizable hole in her chest. Still she does not move.

Though a thousand years of peace had no doubt weakened our sister, it is still unnerving seeing her not even try to fight back. Perhaps we had, by some miracle, talked some sense into her.

“You finally recognize the superiority of our ways?” we ask.

“No, I have run out of strength to fight. I have given Equestria a thousand years of peace, now I will have to ask its forgiveness for I can give it no more. For this reason I have passed on the elements of harmony. To give it one last hope, that the blood may not be entirely on my hoofs.”

No, of course she could never realize how wrong she is. It is unusual to see her give up, but she had always been weak. Facing an opponent armed with dark powers from a mysterious entity, what else could she do, especially since she had given up her only potential advantage?

“Fool! Nopony can wield them as we could!” I scoff.

Unsure where to start with our punishment of Celestia, we teleport her to the inside of the moon with the same ease we warped out.

“I’m sorry citizens,” says Celestia with tears rolling down her face, and blood still dripping from her chest as she vanishes.

With Celestia dealt with, at least temporarily, it was hard to know what to do next, but then something she had said earlier caught up with us.

So, there is supposed to be a princess in Ponyville? As soon as we find this place, there will get a princess alright.

~~~

Night 366,002

Walking through a museum with my sister, it is hard to believe I had ever hated her. She had only ever wanted what is best for everpony yet somehow I had driven her to the point of giving up. It is tempting to blame Nightmare Moon, but she never would have existed if it weren’t for my envy.

What a waste those thousand years had been. Instead of brooding I could have fought her off. Thankfully Twilight sparkle and her friends embody the elements and are truly at harmony, unlike when Celestia and I had banished me to the moon.

It is refreshing in a way to see our legacy be passed on to one’s so young, yet it reminds me how I failed my sister. If only we were as united as when we defeated Discord, none of this would have been necessary. Even Discord’s tricks couldn’t separate them.

Twilight even tried to help me fit in. But as we inadvertently blurted out then, “They have never liked us and they never shall.” Meaning something to somepony is satisfying to a degree, and yet being the beast who gobbles children is never an image I wanted. I always hoped to be the pony citizens could relate to.

Despite hating Nightmare Moon, it is difficult to not occasionally slip up and say we from time to time. Thankfully the royal “we” served as the perfect excuse for these mishaps, yet to me they serve as a reminder of the centuries spent calling Nightmare Moon a part of me. Yet these thoughts are useless and depressing so I decide to return my focus to the museum.

History had always been enjoyable yet I wonder if Celestia doesn’t have ulterior motives for bringing me here. One night after lamenting she is the only pony I could come to, she suddenly suggests we schedule a visit. But why would she want to bring me here?

“.. and that’s how this historic rock saved an entire city.” says Celestia who had likely been saying something about it for several minutes.

She then tilts her head over toward me and whispers, “Actually no it didn’t, but historians were bugging me for some sort of artifact from that time period.”

“Cely, I truly am grateful you are spending more time with me, but why did you bring us here. We both know it isn’t just to catch up on history,” say I.

“Actually it is to catch up on history. There is an eight hundred year old tombstone in this museum that I think you will find very interesting,” says Celestia before walking to the next exhibit.

Sure enough before us sat a large tombstone fragment in a glass case. Scribbled at the top are some dates and a name that isn’t legible, but below it are words in much neater writing.

Was there really a time the lunar orb did not drag?
That night sky’s distant burning spheres did not sag?
What happened to the moon?

The night’s glowing ball was once the heaven’s delight.
Yet for generations the mournful ball is space’s blight.
What happened to the moon?

Where once each freckle of the sky was well groomed,
Not even the faintest of old talent has since bloomed.
What happened to the moon?

“Sadly I never knew him, but you had a fan so devoted who had never even seen your work, that these are the words he requested on his tomb,” said Celestia.

It is impossible. Never had anyone noticed my work while I was here, so how could anypony possibly notice in my absence. Further ponies have such short lives he couldn’t possibly have seen me raise the moon.

“He was too young. He couldn’t have known,” say I.

“Couldn’t he have? It is not uncommon for older generations to tell stories to younger.”

“You’re suggesting this pony loved a moon he never saw?”

“I’m suggesting you had several generations of fans.”

“But I never had fans.”

“Yes you did. Don’t you see what this means? It’s not that you aren’t liked and your works aren’t appreciated. It’s just that your fans are more subtle just like your art. They think you know. They think it is an unspoken understanding.”

Suddenly it dawns on me had I been my own fan, I wouldn’t have explicitly sought myself out to give me praise. I would have thought surely a princess and one who wields art in a way that isn’t so showy understands without constantly being told how appreciated she is. Realizing that my envy had been for nothing is not pleasant, but the realization of my sins had been far worse.

In fact, there is joy that went with this realization. Maybe I’m not the most popular pony but I wasn’t being ignored and I am appreciated. While this current generation didn’t know what to make of me, it didn’t always have to be that way. I could be liked.

I am delighted for the rest of the evening. What my sister is showing me means a great deal and being able to spend time with her means more. In a way, I am glad a thousand years have past, as in that time Cely had really learned how to balance the throne and her family.

We only stop teasing each other as if we were fillies again when we part in the palace to retire to our chambers.

Walking back to my room a vague whisper seems to emanate through the dark corridor, “You can be liked more than your sister.”

I look back and forth and see nopony, but notice an open window. It must be the wind.

“I can help you,” says the voice slightly clearer than before.

“You aren’t a part of me anymore!” I blurt out..

After surveying my surroundings again, I feel foolish for shouting at nothing, yet thankfully nopony seems disturbed by it. Several seconds pass but there is no voice. I am tired and it makes sense I’d imagine something that plagues my nightmares. I trot over to the window and close it.

But upon opening the door to my chambers it pipes up one last time, “Of course I am still a part of you. I am your strength.”

The voice was so low and so quiet it has to be my imagination. Yet having heard it three times it is hard to convince myself of this as I slip into bed. Periodically, I look around to make sure nopony is there, for my privacy feels compromised. No doubt my mind is making this a bigger deal than it is, but one thing is clear; I will not sleep or dream any better tonight than I had been since being restored to my true self.