The Unfortunate Escapades of A Paleontologist In Equestria
Chapter One: Waking Up In A Pile Of Dirt
Chapter One: Waking Up In A Pile Of Dirt
When Steven Styx woke up, he was expecting to be in a tent in Colorado. What he was seeing however, was dirt. All he could see, was dirt. At first, he thought that one of his students had played a prank on him. After all, he had some jokesters in his class. He then realised that not even Marcus was dumb enough to do something like this.
It was then he realised the amount of effort it took for him to move his limbs. "Am I injured?" he asked himself. It was then when he was able to get his arms under his body. That was when he made his third realisation of the day. His arms were now dirt brown cylinders with a hoof at the end. Steven was concerned to say the least. He then decided it was a good decision to look behind him.
Steven screamed for 24 seconds straight. He was a brown equine with a trilobite mark on his haunches. He tried standing, he had to know where he was. After 3 or so minutes, he was able to stand on all four limbs like any self respecting quadruped could hours after birth.
At that moment he glanced around the mound of dirt. He was standing on a six foot tall pile of dirt with a diameter of around 20 feet. Strewn all across the mound was an absolutely shredded tent, his phone (which was still connected to the power pack), safely in the pocket of his backpack along with his gear, Historical Geology: Second Edition, The Beauty of The Stegosaur (Written by Steven himself), emergency food and water, and a first aid kit.
He tried to pick up the bag, however stopped after the second attempt when he remembered that he doesn't have fingers. He then looped his hoof through the loop of the bag and flipped his forearm up until the bag slid over his shoulder and over his arm.
Steven then looked around the area surrounding the mound. Behind him and to the left was a dense forest filled with creepy, warped trees. To the right was a small village constructed in a similar style to old germanic towns around a mile away.
"Alright, I just have to figure out this whole walking on four legs thing," Steven thought to himself. He tried and tried, and finally, he was able to walk at a crawling pace. The walk would take all day, but he didn't care, he just wanted to get to the town and get answers.
Steven continued his walk towards the town. And by midday, he had made it to a fence with row upon row of apple trees.
Steven is not the type to hop a fence, and as such, decided to walk alongside the fence toward the town. Plus, he wasn't even sure if he could jump even if he wanted to. so he continued walking, and walking, and walking, until he approached the fence corner. And when he turned the corner, he saw a path. it wasn't paved or even well maintained, but it was a path.
Steven was ecstatic. So ecstatic that he was walking at a faster pace. And then he bumped into someone. In the following seconds he had said sorry to the pony he collided with around 15 times.
"Now there ain't no need to make such a fuss 'bout it," the pony said. Steven quickly glanced her over. She was only slightly shorter than he was, she had an orange coat, green eyes, blonde hair, had three apples on her flank, and was wearing a stetson. "My name is Applejack, what's yours?"Applejack said while tipping her head and slightly adjusting her stetson.
"My name is Professor Steven Styx," Steven said, slightly nervously.
"Well howdy there Steven!" Applejack said with enthusiasm. "Y'all said you were a professor right?"
"Well yes, I am," Steven said with slight pride.
"Well then ah suppose you must be here in Ponyville to visit the Golden Oaks Library. Am ah wrong?" Applejack asked.
"Uhh..no, no you aren't." Steven said. He was always a terrible liar.
"Well howbout ah walk y'all over there, if that's alright with y'all?" Applejack asked while turning towards the library.
"Sure thing Applejack, I am not terribly familiar with this region and any help would be excellent." Steven replied.
"Well then let's get moving" Applejack said, beginning to walk down the path and away from the orchard.
While walking towards the library, Steven had a slight suspicion things were about to get ten times harder than they already had.
Author's Note
while writing this I spent about one third of my allocated time I set to write watching this classic video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATW9Ay-wws&t
The Unfortunate Escapades of A Paleontologist In Equestria
Prologue: The Morrison Formation
Prologue: The Morrison Formation
It was a rather beautiful spring evening in Colorado as a group of 16 college students and 4 supervisors returned to their campsite around 100 miles west of Denver. Leading the group was none other than renowned paleontologist Professor Steven Styx, a fair skinned 49 year old slim man with mostly gray hair. Steven had done many things to further human understanding of the Earth's past, however he mostly appreciated, in his own words, "The fascinating aura of Stegosauridae,".
The group settled around a table in the center of the campsite and placed their finds, along with the appropriate sketches, and map locations on the table. Four students in particular were having a heated discussion on whether they had found an Allosaurus tooth, or a Ceratosaurus tooth. Multiple discussions between groups of four continued until the sun was below the horizon. Everyone enjoyed a small dinner consisting of a bottle of water (with an optional flavoring packet), A whole wheat sub, an apple, and a granola bar.
Steven Styx himself, having already finished his meal which he considered "mediocre at best," and already having packed up his supplies, entered his private tent. After zipping up the entrance to the tent, Steven turned on his headlamp, and picked up his copy of Historical Geology: Second Edition. Even though this book was outdated, due to being written in the 1960's, it was nevertheless a great insight into the paleontological (and by extent, geological) meta at the time.
Steven checked his phone and his battery pack. 7:46 PM, Wednesday April 10th, 100% battery on the phone and on the battery pack. Steven read for thirty more minutes before deciding to hit the hay. And as such, he put Historical Geology: Second Edition to the side, turned off his headlamp, and went to sleep.
Little did he know, the next day would be the worst day of his life.
Author's Note
Yes, Historical Geology: Second Edition is a real book, and yes I do in fact, own it.
