Absolutely the Worst FanFic you will ever read. Have Fun!

by tastetheRainbowDash

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Sex, Doctor Whooves, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other, Romance, Fluttershy
Length: 2968

Just listen to the title

Just follow the title and let's see where this story ends up. May have disturbing content.

Published 2012-09-11 09:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-20 03:14:30 UTC

Whatever Happens Happens

So, this one purple mare, I think her name was Twilight Sparkle or something crappy and unoriginal like that, well, she was walking through the woods. All of a sudden, she got knocked out.

She woke up and three stallions were there. At least they looked like stallions. None of them had a face. Yeah, I just lied. They head faces, the poor mare just couldn't see them.

Twilight laid on her back, her hind legs apart. One could easily see her clit from this position. One of the stallions,who was wearing a suit and a bow tie, motioned for the others to a huddle.

A second later, the stallions came back, without any pants on. One, picked the purple mare up as he laid down underneath her. Another put his hind legs fairly close to Twilight's snout. The third stood above the mare's fragile body. All three stallion slowly shoves their dicks into the closest holes. The first in the asshole, sliding it in carefully as the mare shut her eyes. The second shoved his member into the mare's mouth, not being as gentle as the first. Finally, the third slid his dick into her vagina, easing it in without much difficulty. All three started to carefully slide their stallionhood back and forth in their slots of pleasure,making Twilight start to slightly moan around the cock in her mouth.

Faster and faster the masked stallions went, humping the mare, until finally, one spoke up.

"IT'S HAPPENING!" he shouted. The others said it was happening to them, too.

Each stallion shot a stream of white-ish liquid into the mare, who tightly closed her eyes and smiled around the cock that remained in her mouth.

Semen was pouring out of her as the stallions pulled their dicks out of the mare. All of a sudden, everything went black for Twilight.

..........

A cyan blue mare woke up to her door opening. She looked up to see who it could have possibly been. Nopony was there.

The pony fell back asleep, Her rainbow colored mane slightly messed up. All of a sudden, she felt pressure between her legs. It felt good. She enjoyed the pressure. But with the pressure came a noise. A lapping noise, which the pegasus thought was odd. Opening her eyes she saw something, or rather somepony.

A brownish earth pony wearing a tie was there, not noticing the blue mare watching him. I think this one's name was Doctor Whooves, or something along those lines. She smiled, blushing from how pleasant the licking felt.

For awhile now, Rainbow Dash had been looking for a mate, and now, she noticed she had one.

The stallion looked up, watching her face as she was being pleasured. Now it was his turn. He took his dick, fairly large for a traveler of his age, and rubbed it against her willing clit. Rainbow's eyes were pleading.

Playing with her a little longer, he waited for the pegasus to give in. He waited and waited until finally, "PLEASE JUST SHOVE IT IN!" He smiled. Putting the tip to the entrance to her marehood, he gently pushed his cock into her, watching as her eyes fell back and listening as she groaned and moaned in pleasure. The Doctor smiled. He thrusted his cock in and out of her tight vagina, finding it rather difficult to push in. Most believe that this was because that his cock was both too big and her vagina too tight.

Anyway, there he went, thrusting faster and faster, harder and harder while the rainbow one panted and hollered a series of "YES!", "KEEP GOING", "FASTER!" and "RIGHT THERE!"'s. Finally, after a while of this, the earth pony came, as did the pegasus, their fluids mixing.

Doctor Whooves laid down on the floor, chest and stomach up. Dash, understanding the hint, went over to him, placing her clit in front of his muzzle while she took his dick into her mouth, and started sucking it.

..........

Now, I haven't really been a part of this story yet, other than my amazing comments. But I am part of it.

I took my rifle, aiming for a random mare, far and deep in the Everfree Forest. There were three random stallions there. Aiming for the head and not the stallions, I shot.

The stallions took pleasure in this. There was blood everywhere, and brains. The three stallions took off their masks and started licking the blood, which was infused with cum and other fluids such as saliva and urine. One of the stallions stood up, and walked over to the headless Twilight Sparkle. He lifted his penis to where the head of Twilight Sparkle once was, and urinated. The guts on the inside of her body were soaked in the off stallions urine ans one of the others came to the back of the mare and shoved his dick into her asshole. The one that had urinated came down to the headless mare's vagina and started licking. The third and final stallion started to nibble and eat the mare's peed on guts on the inside of her body.

The three stallions eventually gave up on the dead mare, and went off and cornered one of themselves, who willingly set himself up to be "punished". One stallion mounted his back and the other shoved his cock down the throat of the white one, who was lying down.

..........

Now we go back to see what Rainbow Dash is up to. It looks as if Doctor Whooves had left her, as she was lying on the floor, covered in a white liquid and her pubic area patted down with her own liquid. All of a sudden, you could see a yellow pegasus fly into the home of the cyan one. The yellow one saw what was with the other, and rolled her tongue out. Slowly, she began to lick the pegasus, attempting to get the white liquid off of her while she was still passed out.

The pegasus finished, leaving one spot untouched. She put her wet marehood onto her friends, and started to scissor the other pony. I forgot to mention that this one's name was Fluttershy. The unconscious marewoke up and saw what her friend was doing. She joined in. After a few minutes, the yellow one came, letting liquid splatter on the blue pegasus, as well as into her. A surprising amount of liquid entered the rainbow pegasus, which caused her to cum. After this they moved into a sixty-nine position, and shoved their snouts into one another's marehood. They fell asleep like this.

THE END

Author's note:

I hope you enjoyed my terrible fanfic which had no meaning at all. You liked it? Leave a comment! You hated it? Leave a comment! I really don't care! Just a reminder, you read this of your own free will! Yay! See ya!

~TasteTheRainbowDash

Wat.

So yeah. I like watching ponies have sex on purpose, but what if it was an accident?

I was walking around, looking for a good spot to watch ponies play music, cuz honestly, what black alicorn doesn't love music? And being the brother of Celestia, I needed some.

I found this one random house, filled with two ponies. And I knew exactly what they were thinking, cuz of my magic. But anyway, one was brownish grey with classy taste, wearing a bow tie. Her cutie mark was a treble clef. She was sitting down rosining her double bass. The other was her best friend, but not marefriend, who was pure white with a blue spiked up mane. The classy one's name was Octavia, while the others was Vinyl Scratch.

Vinyl or whatever was thinking up of a plan. She was going to headbutt the classy one, Octavia, while she was rosining her bow. Here goes nothing, she thought. She charged. Did I mention she was a unicorn? Yeah, that's kinda important.

Anyway, she charged, head down, and right at the last second, Octavia, who was an earth pony stood up. Vinyl's horn went right up Octavia's vagina, a little blood from the impact running down her face.

Octavia's eyes went wide. This was a surprise to her! The unicorn, also surprised, attempted to pull her horn out of the earth pony's uterus, but it wouldn't come out. (Heheheh... I used the word "come" like "cum"... get it? Anyway, back to the story). The horn was stuck in the pony, and with each attempt the horn went straight back into the pony's vagina, making the earth pony pant.

In and out, in and out, went the horn as Vinyl tried to pull it out. All of a sudden, Octavia started to speak. "V-Vinyl," she said, "I-I h-h-have to... I'm h-having an... o-o-or-,"She couldn't get that last word out. "ORGASM!"

After that word was said, Vinyl felt a splash of warm liquid, running down her face and into her mouth, mixed with the blood from previously. She collapsed. Literally from the taste of the beautiful mixture. She had liquid pouring from her underside. I wanted so badly to join in on this, but I held my stance. It was fun to watch, but once you are revealed, the fun is over.

The earth pony collapsed on top of the unicorn, her horn going deeper into the other mares vagina. Both gasped, feelinf the pleasure and the surprise, as they knew their feelings. They started a conversation.

"Th-they did say that DJ Pon-3 was the best with everything," Octavia said quietly.

"And they say that you're just a straight mare with a bow tie," the unicorn replied.

"I am... Or at least I was." The words I actually wanted to hear from that mare's mouth. I had always known it, obviously.

"T-Tavi?" Vinyl questioned the now bi, or lesbian, mare.

"Y-yes?" Octavia replied, her slight proper accent disappearing.

"I- I think I love you."

"I love you, too."

Hearing these words, I pulled Vinyl's horn out with my magic, and shortly after, the earth pony had her lips down to the other mare's haunches, licking. The white unicorn shivered and moaned, feeling the glory that her partner had felt only seconds before.

... And then they fucked.

Remember what I said about ponies having sex on accident? Yeah, it's even better than them having sex on purpose.

..........

Yeah, I'm just gonna write a bunch of random stuff now. I'll get to all the sex later. Okay?

I'll sing a song! No, not a pony song. Wait... Yeah, it is. Here it goes.

I can't believe we're finally here.
With all that we've imagined, the reality of this night is sure to make this...
The Best Night Ever!
At the gala!
At the gala, in the garden,
I'm going to see them all!
All the creatures, I'll befriend them at the gala~
At the gala!
All the birdies and the critters
They will love me, big and small.
We'll become good friends forever,
Right here at the Gala
All our dreams will come true
Right here at the Gala!
At the Gala!
At the gala,
It's amazing!
I will sell them--
That you heard of
All my appletastic treats!
Yummy, yummy
Hungry ponies,
Give us samples
They will buy them:
We will buy them!
Caramel apples, apple sweets!
Gimme some!
And I'll earn a lot of money
for the Apple family
All our dreams and our hopes
From now, until hereafter...
All that we've been wishing for
Will happen at the Gala.
At the Gala!
At the gala, all the royals...
They will meet fair Rarity!
They will see I'm just as regal at the Gala~
At the Gala!
I will find him, my prince charming,
And how gallant he will be!
And he'll treat me like a lady
Tonight at the Gala
This is what we've been waiting for,
To have the best night ever.
Each of us will live our dreams
Tonight at the Gala.
At the Gala!
Been dreaming, I've been waiting
To fly with those great ponies
The Wonderbolts, their daring tricks:
Spinning 'round and having kicks.
Perform for crowds of thousands,
They'll shower us with diamonds!
The Wonderbolts will see me right here at the Gala!
All we've longed for,
All we've dreamed,
Our happy ever-after...
Finally will all come true
Right here at the Grand Gala.
At the Gala!
I'm here at the Grand Gala,
For it is the best party
But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie!
For I am the best at parties, all the ponies will agree...
Ponies playing, ponies dancing
With me at the Grand Gala
Happiness and laughter at the Gala.
At the Gala!
At the Gala,
At the Gala
With the princess,
With the princess
Is where I'm going to be!
She will be
We will talk all about magic,
And what I've learned and seen.
She will see
It is going to be so special,
as she takes time just for me
This will be the best night EVER!
Into the Gala, we must go;
We're ready now, we're all aglow.
Into the Gala, let's go in
And have the best night ever!
Into the Gala, now's the time--
We're ready and we look divine!
Into the Gala, meet new friends!
Into the Gala, sell some apples!
Into the Gala, find my prince!
Prove I'm great
as a Wonderbolt is!
To meet
To sell
To find
To prove
To whoo
To talk
Into the Gala,
Into the Gala
And we'll have the BEST NIGHT EVER...
At the Gala!

It was beautiful, right? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Fluttershy yay Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Now back to the real story. In the next chapter...If there is one... Muahaha.... Yeah, I'll definitely have more sex stories... And it will be great. And next week is the premier of season 3! Oh, Lyra and BonBon and Big Mac and Braeburn to come... Later!

Cuz I'm Bored

Author: Well, to start off, I really just got bored and started this to take a break from my other stories. And this has been my only clopfic EVER! Those who liked it... Well, it was supposed to be random and stupid. Those who didn't like it, well,don't hate on it. If you take out all of the ideas in my mind, this is literally what's left. And I suppose you want to get to the story already... K then! This shall be the last chapter.

Braeburn was inviting his three friends from Ponyville over to his lone house on the apple orchards of Applooza. As Braeburn jogged over to the Applooza train station, he waited for the train. He was planning on having a tea party to host for his friends. Well, not really a tea party. More of a apple juice party.

As he waited he saw a train coming to a stop at the last station, Applooza. He saw the three ponies exit the train, a large red stallion, as well as two smaller mares. Braeburn was happy his friends had visited him.

"Howdy, ya'll!" Braeburn shouted to his friends.

Everypony gathered around as Braeburn invided them to his barn for a little fun. Invisible, I followed, waiting to see what they had planned.

They entered through the two large, red doors. I followed. And there it was. Tea. Who would make tea for a sex party.

I sat there for about another hour, and all they did was talk.

Using my alicorn magic, I created a gun. Also, I created bullets to put inside the gun. There were five.

I shot Bon-Bon. You could easily see the blood squirt into Lyra's face. Next I shot Big Macintosh, or Big Mac. The bullet jammed in his back and he fell backward, his spine clearly breaking. Then want Lyra Heartstrings. For her, lets's just say her cutie mark is now a pool of blood.

Finally, I shot Braeburn. Right in the face as he looked in my direction, scared and disgusted. His head exploded and the barn was redder than it was before. I laughed as I loaded the final bullet.

I could feel my blood sliding and dripping down my muzzle as I dropped to the floor, visible and dead.