The Sum Of Her

by Gay For Gadot

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Drama, Trixie, Starlight Glimmer, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 19885

Starlight wants to take her relationship with Trixie to the next level. Trixie always finds a reason not to. It's high time Starlight finds out why.

Starlight Glimmer has been dating Trixie Lulamoon for almost a year. That's more than enough time for the two to have spent the night together... or so Starlight thinks. But every time Starlight gets close to doing so, Trixie finds some reason for them not to.

When Starlight finally broaches the subject in a not-so-subtle way, both mares end up learning more about who they are, who they aren't, and the things in between.

Takes place prior to Season 8.

Thanks to Ice Star for proofreading the first two chapters, and chris the cynic for proofreading the third.

Trigger Warnings: Consensual F/F sex involving a transgender partner, anal play, frank discussions of gender, identity, and sexuality, an awesome hot chocolate recipe, and way too much ear/neck biting.

Published 2020-12-02 19:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-02 19:50:00 UTC

Within

Between runes and incantations, Starlight didn’t hear Spike walk into the castle library. His merry whistling abruptly came to a halt. The Canterlot Gazette in one set of claws,along with his “Number One Assistant” mug in the other, almost fell to the floor. For the first time since he and Twilight had taken her in, Starlight had gotten up before him.

Or… had never gone to sleep.

“Uh, Starlight?”

If the state of her mane—as well as the bags under her eyes—were any indication, it was the latter theory that proved correct.

Buried in a book, Starlight muttered something foreign. “Trabea Prospectu… No, that only lasts a few minutes. What about… Versis Mentis…? No, that’s far too strong…”

“Starlight? Hello?”

“Well, there is Faciens Fallacia Verus, but that only applies to illusion charms, specifically for making something appear… bigger than it is, which would only—”

Spike whapped Starlight with the rolled-up newspaper.

“Aaah!” A dusty tome, its cover littered with arcane iconography, landed on the floor with a thud. Starlight spun around. “Oh, uh, h-hi, Spike! I-I was just—” she cleared her throat— “j-just doing some, er, light reading before bed!” She shot a paper-thin grin his way. “Didn’t mean to wake you!”

“Uh, Starlight?” Spike unfurled the newspaper and pointed to the date. “It’s morning. And tomorrow.” He blinked. “I mean, today.”

“R-really?” Scoffing, Starlight waved a forehoof dismissively. “I-I mean, I knew that! I meant—uh—I was going… back to bed! Yeah! A-after I finish this… uh, story, of course.” The ancient spellbook floated up to her face. “Yup, it’s… so… good! Really—compelling! Heh, heh, heh…”

With one eyebrow raised, Spike sipped at his coffee. “‘Mistmane’s Mind-Healing,’ huh? Don’t tell me you’re gonna use mind magic on everypony again. Like when you freaked out and tried to do all those Friendship Reports at once.”

“I am not freaking out!” Starlight stomped a hoof. Several strands of her mane twinged out of place. “And this isn’t for anypony but me!” She paced back and forth, almost wearing a groove into the floor. “I know better than to use mind magic on other ponies, but if it’s just for me, it should be okay, right? After all, I can handle it! I can handle anything! I traveled through time! I faced Chrysalis without magic! So, what’s a little mind magic gonna do? I can handle all of that, no problem, but what I can’t handle is the fact that my—m-my—”

Starlight froze, realizing how dangerously close she was to revealing something that nopony had the right to know. Maybe not even herself. Still, she couldn’t stop completely, resuming her ranting and pacing with only seconds lost.

“I mean, after all—” Starlight added Mistmane’s book to the pile in the corner— “there has to be something, anything, in this Celestia-forsaken castle that could possibly help! Even if it means I have to completely rewire my brain, or permanently cast an illusion spell on myself, or—”

Spike raised a claw. “This… is above my paygrade. I’m getting Twilight.”

Starlight teleported in front of Spike, blocking his path to the door. He yelped, almost dropping his coffee again. “No! Nopony can know what I’m doing, Spike!”

“You realize—” Spike backed away from her— “that makes me want to grab Twilight even more, right?”

“Please!” Bloodshot eyes widening, Starlight clasped her forehooves together. “Spike, please! I’m begging you! Seriously, you can’t tell Twilight about—”

“Tell me about what?”

While Starlight whirled around, her wide eyes growing impossibly wider, Spike took that as his cue. “Perfect timing.” He sauntered out, flipping his newspaper open. “It was bad enough when there was only one neurotic pony living here.” The way Twilight glared at him suggested he should have spoken that last bit under his breath.

Spike pointed over to Starlight, who was desperately trying to reshelve all the books she’d knocked across the floor. “She’s trying to brainwash herself or something. Have fun.” He shut the door behind him, fresh-brewed coffee and morning news a preferable alternative to the storm he had left them to weather.

Twilight cast a suspicious glance her way. “Starlight, what did he mean by that?”

As she levitated the books up to their shelves, Starlight replied with a titter, “What, Spike? Pfft!” She shook her head.“C’mon, Twilight, you know how he gets before breakfast! Always with some crazy idea! Ha, ha, hah—”

Twilight pointed at the books she’d just put away. “You know those are all upside-down, right?”

“Uh.” Starlight smiled sheepishly. “S-s-so they are. Let me fix that.”

While Starlight was fast, without sleep—or sanity—Twilight was faster. She flipped the books with a flick of her horn, then returned them to their proper places. Once that was complete, Twilight wrapped Starlight in her magic, levitating her over to one of her favorite reading chairs. Although she startled, Starlight didn’t fight it, her weary horn resisting the very notion of combating the alicorn’s strength.

As Twilight set her down, Starlight realized how exhausted she was. The seconds that passed between Twilight walking over and taking her own seat felt broken, haphazard. She almost fell asleep before Twilight cleared her throat.

“So… Did something happen between you and Trixie?”

That woke Starlight up. “Wh-what makes you say that?”

“I know that you two had a date last night. Did something go wrong?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “You must have stayed up all night researching mind magic for a reason, right?”

Twilight’s tone was both even and inquisitive—a far cry from how she’d reacted when Starlight and Trixie first met. While the two had their moments of… disagreement since then, Starlight found that Twilight’s attitude had relaxed towards the showmare. Trixie’s role in saving Equestria from the Changelings probably helped. Just a little.

With all of that in mind, Starlight would normally have had no problem answering Twilight’s question. Normally.

“Starlight,” Twilight said with a gentle smile, “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I promise I’ll keep it between us.”

The stone and its gravel returned to Starlight’s throat. “P-Pinkie Promise?”

“Of course.” Twilight went over the motions of the famed Pinkie Promise.

In her fog, Starlight wasn’t sure if Twilight had mixed up “hope to fly” with the cupcake in her eye, or if she was imagining things. Either way, she decided not to comment on it. Rather, she took a deep breath. “Al-alright… So… Last night…”

Briefly, Starlight recounted the night’s revelations. She left out the more intimate details, including what had provoked their argument. Mentioning their sex life—or lack thereof—to Twilight, of all ponies, was an idea so mortifying that she couldn’t even entertain it. Instead, she centered the story around Trixie revealing her status, along with being unsure of how she, herself, wanted to proceed. Which was true enough.

Once she had finished, Starlight sighed, feeling no less burdened by the weight of it all. “So… What do you think I should do?”

“Well…” Twilight twiddled her forehooves. “Honestly, I’m not really sure. Friendship problems, I can handle. Certain relationship problems, maybe. But this sounds more like an identity problem.”

Starlight’s ears flattened. “I-I don’t think Trixie is… Well, confused, or anything.”

Twilight raised a forehoof. “No, not at all. I don’t mean that.”

“Oh.” Starlight rubbed at her eyes. “Sorry, I’m… really tired. What do you mean?”

Twilight hesitated, fidgeting again before she answered, “I’m talking about you, Starlight.”

Now Starlight was really awake.

“Me?” Starlight brought a forehoof to her chest. “How?”

“Well, you kind of answered that already, didn’t you?” Twilight gestured to the bookshelf. “‘Mistmane’s Mind-Healing,’ ‘Self-Help Charms For Beginners,’ ‘The Foundations Of Perspective’… You were trying to change your own mind on this, not Trixie’s.”

“Of course I was!” Per usual, Starlight’s lips moved faster than her brain. “I’m the problem, not her!”

“Why do you say that?”

The casual inquiry grated in Starlight’s ears. “Because I’m gay, Twilight! You knew that already!”

“I do,” Twilight said, her calm voice grinding on Starlight’s nerves, “which is why I wasn’t surprised when you two started dating. But that’s the problem, isn’t it?” She frowned. “You’re not seeing her as a mare right now. And it’s throwing everything you knew about yourself into question.”

For better or worse, Twilight Sparkle always had a way of piercing Starlight Glimmer’s armor. Between the weight of her eyelids, the lump in her throat, and the crater of Twilight’s words, Starlight slumped against her chair.

“There are no easy answers here. I—I wish I had a solution for you, Starlight. I want you to be happy. And…” Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “There was a time when I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I want you and Trixie to be happy together, too.”

From the rubble of everything else, Starlight found the will to smile back. “Thanks, Twilight. That… really means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I just wish I could… Give her everything.” Starlight sighed. “You know what I mean?”

Twilight sighed in turn. “Yes, I do. Looking back, now I know why we were able to get the Alicorn Amulet off her so easily. If I had known, I never would have tricked her like that. And if there was a way to make things right for her, I would perform the spell myself.”

Starlight stared down at her hooves. “Me too.”

While Starlight didn’t feel as oppressed by this silence, she struggled under the force of it, unsure of where to go from here.

“You know…” Twilight rubbed her chin. “There is one other pony you could talk to about this. One who might have some better insight than I do.”

“Is… that a good idea?” Starlight asked. “I don’t want to be spreading Trixie’s secret around.”

“She’s somepony you can trust.” Twilight grinned. “Princesses usually are.”

After a moment, Starlight replied, “You don’t mean…”

“I do. And you know what else?” Twilight offered Starlight a forehoof up. “If you go see her, you not only might get the answers to your questions, buuuuuut… you can sleep on the way there, too.”

To her embarrassment, Starlight was more swayed by the second part.

The train’s shrill whistle woke Starlight from her deep slumber. She rolled over to see a large drool stain on her pillow… and the nearby passengers glaring at her, their forehooves and wings at their ears.

“H-heh, s-s-sorry, everypony,” Starlight mumbled, shrinking into her seat. “I guess I forgot to cast my snore-deafening spell…”

Murmurs of “Thought it was a bear,” and “Sleep apnea,” followed. Starlight offered a timid wave as the others passed. Once the coast was clear, she exited onto the platform. The feeling of the warm summer sun on her coat stirred her to stretch and fully awaken. The train gave one last long, mournful cry before it pulled away, leaving her to the Crystal Empire and its promises.

As she made her way from the station to the Crystal Palace, Starlight realized that the city was preparing for a festival. Posters plastered on every shop window, bulletin board, and streetlamp announced the Empire’s celebration of Midsummer. From what she gathered, Midsummer involved plenty of traditional food, ancient hymns, and flowers. Lots of flowers.

Throngs of ponies passed her by, many with luggage. There was a joyous anticipation in the air, excited chatter passing through her ears as she made her way through the streets. If she was here for any reason but this one, Starlight would have stopped to ask questions. Maybe make her own holiday plans.

If things were different, Starlight would have brought Trixie along to celebrate this new holiday together. The two of them would have left Trixie’s wagon behind for a private train cab. An expensive one, with a locking door and a soft mattress. They would spring for the Empire’s finest, most luxurious hotel room once they arrived. One with a hot tub, silk sheets, a balcony overlooking the horizon…

Despite it being summer, Starlight thought a place near the Frozen North wouldn’t make her sweat this much. Pegasi didn’t control the weather in this strange land. There had to be some odd magic at work. Yes, that was it.

Before she realized how fast she'd been walking, the arch of the Crystal Palace lay before her, the Crystal Heart at its epicenter. The crystal spires protecting the Heart were covered in a garden of flowers in every variety and color. When she drew closer, she was greeted by the sight of two Crystal Guard ponies… wearing flower crowns.

“Er, hello.” Starlight tried not to snicker at the sight of the stoic stallions’ helmets, which were adorned with irises and honeysuckle. “I’m Starlight Glimmer. I’m here to meet with Princess Cadance. Spike the Brave and Glorious should have sent a letter announcing my arrival.”

Both bowed their heads, then beckoned her to follow. The guards led her up the palace’s spiraling staircases in silence. They were as dutiful as ever, even with cheerful flowers circling their galea.

When they reached the palace foyer, one of the guards galloped off. “He will fetch the Princess for you,” the other said. “While Her Highness is busy with preparations for tomorrow’s Midsummer celebration, she made it clear that your meeting was a top priority.”

“Oh. That’s… good. I think.” Starlight pawed a hoof at the crystal floor. “Say… Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What’s with the flower crowns?”

A chuckle escaped the stallion’s chest. “Forgive me, but this is a common question from outsiders.” Sparing a moment to regain his composure, the guard then explained, “Long ago, when the Crystal Empire was new and the Heart had just come into being, Crystal Ponies had gone eons without summer. Many plants and flowers did not grow here. Once the eternal snows were driven back by the Heart, our ancestors were able to grow almost anything under the sun. We commemorate our coming out of the cold and dark with beautiful, bright things. Tomorrow, we will celebrate the longest day of the year with good food, good music, and, of course,” he finished, smiling, “the flowers.”

“Wow.” Starlight asked, “Even the stallions?”

The guard nodded. “It was considered an honor to present one’s beloved with a flower crown. Stallion, mare, or whomever in between.” With a wink, he added, “According to us Crystal Ponies, beauty knows no gender.”

Starlight swallowed the stone in her throat. “R-right.”

To her gratitude, the other guard returned. “The Princess will meet you in her study.” He pointed to a door down an adjacent hallway.

Starlight forced a smile. “Thank you.”

Both stallions gave her one last bow before rushing back to their posts.

Unlike the great crystal doors that led to the throne room, the door leading to Princess Cadance’s study was rather light. It tested Starlight’s telekinesis nonetheless. Last night’s midnight panic session had been more draining than she’d thought.

As she entered, Starlight looked around. The cozy room contained a blazing fireplace, a circle of chairs surrounding a checkerboard, and a small library. A large painting depicting Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor, Princess Flurry Heart held between them, hung above the crackling fireplace.

Starlight studied the bookshelves. While there were a few of the classics, most of these titles sounded like… romance novels. Or, at least, treatises on romance. Different Bloods… A Stallion And His Mare… The Magician And The Mage…

“Hello, Starlight!” Princess Cadance joined her side. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Not at all, Your Highness.” Starlight bowed. “Thanks for meeting me on such short notice.”

With a chuckle, Cadance said, “Oh, no need to be so formal.” She gestured to the circle of chairs. “Please, take a seat. Can I get you anything? Tea? Coffee?”

Again, the comfortable chair just about swallowed Starlight when she sat down. More sleep would be welcome. “No, thank you.”

A teapot and two teacups appeared in Cadance’s aquamarine aura. She poured herself one, then levitated the other to the table beside Starlight. “Just in case you change your mind.”

“Well, if you insist…” Taking a deep draught, Starlight sighed contentedly, warmth rushing through her aching limbs. The sweetness on her tastebuds tingled, flowery notes dancing across her palate.

“Jasmine, with plenty of sugar. It’s Auntie’s favorite.”

Starlight smiled. “Mmmm. I can see why.”

“Indeed. So…” Once she had stolen her own sip, Cadance asked, “What brings you here, Starlight? I’m guessing it isn’t Midsummer.”

Setting her teacup down, Starlight’s ears drooped. “W-well, no, though I wish it was. I feel like this would be a perfect vacation for my marefriend and I, if… things were different.”

Cadance settled in her chair, bringing her forehooves together. She said nothing, looking back at Starlight with serene interest.

This Princess was not as familiar with Starlight—and Trixie—as Twilight. Thus, as Starlight related what had transpired, she felt far more comfortable telling not just the gist, but the whole story. Details and all. Including what she felt most ashamed to admit.

“The thing is… I love Trixie. I really do. But…” Starlight met Cadance’s patient eyes. “I… I don’t know if I can… really be with her. S-sexually, I mean.”

“Because of her anatomy.”

Slowly, Starlight nodded. “A-and there’s no way to change that. Not unless she just keeps the illusion spell going. But that would mean I couldn’t touch her.” An additional piece of the puzzle clicked together. “I—I think that’s why she pulled away. Why she always pulls away, once I touch her a little too much. I must be… Uh…”

“Arousing her?”

There was that gravel again. “Y-yeah.”

Cadance poured them another cup of tea. While Starlight muttered a thanks, she didn’t touch it, stomach twisting into knots. Perhaps it was a byproduct of staying up all night… or the guilt that wracked through her. Either way, she left her cup tepid.

Some time passed before Cadance spoke. “This is certainly a unique dilemma. I have only met one other pony like Trixie face-to-face. He was a student at Auntie’s school, actually.” She paused, seeming to think something over, before moving on. “Unfortunately, I don’t have much advice for this particular relationship problem. However, there are comparable situations that might be enlightening.”

Starlight perked up. “Oh? Like what?”

“Well, I have counseled couples who have had sexual difficulties for other reasons. Stallions who can no longer perform. Mares who find intercourse painful. Ponies who have been traumatized, but still want to please their partners. Even ponies whose parents expect grandfoals so much that they cannot accept their sexuality. Which, of course, inevitably leads to repression.” Cadance frowned. “In any case, self-hatred is the worst aphrodisiac.”

Though she didn’t drink it, Starlight fiddled with her teacup. “What do you do for those ponies? Th-the ones who can’t accept their sexuality, I mean.”

“The path to self-acceptance is not one I can walk for them. But I certainly start them on it.”

“Oh… You don’t…” Starlight swallowed the tea rising up in her throat. “Y-you don’t have a way of… fixing them?”

Something flashed in the alicorn’s pupils. Something that sent shockwaves down Starlight’s spine. “Fix?” Cadance repeated. While restrained, Starlight could hear the indignation. “There is nothing to fix, Starlight. Such a spell is not only impossible, but would be unethical. It would be… mind alteration. Life alteration.” She shook her head, eyes narrowed. “Who taught you this was something that needed fixing?”

“Nopony!” Starlight raised a forehoof. “I… I was just thinking that…” It fell to her side. “M-maybe… you could…”

Both mares cringed at what remained unspoken.

“Starlight, it’s… commendable how much you want to make this work,” Cadance said, eyes softening, each word a heavy deliberation, “but changing yourself is not the answer. Just as there is nothing wrong with Trixie, there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing to fix. Nothing that should be changed. You are both yourselves, as you should be.”

“But—”

Cadance sighed. “I know you love her, but—”

“Of course I love her! Why else would I have come here?!” Before Cadance could get a word in edgewise, Starlight found herself spouting off again. “Why else would I have read through Twilight’s entire library last night, trying to find something, anything that could change how I feel? Why else would I have told Twilight about it at all? Twilight barely even likes Trixie! But I told her about it, no matter how embarrassing it was, in the hope that I could find some answer! And you wanna know why?”

Starlight gritted her teeth. “Because I made her cry, Cadance. I hurt her, all because I can’t—I can’t be with somepony with—w-with—” Sputtering, Starlight spat, “Dammit, I can’t even say the word! Because if I say it, th-then I’ll think she’s a stallion! A-and if she’s a stallion, then what am I? Who am I?!”

Though Cadance started to reply, Starlight continued on like a runaway train, her thoughts careening off the rails.

“I’ve known I’ve liked mares, only mares, for as long as I can remember! Before I even knew the word for it, I knew I was different somehow! And I felt so—so alone, so isolated with it, because I didn’t know anypony else like me! Sire’s Hollow barely had enough foals for a schoolhouse, let alone a filly or colt like me! And after Sunburst left, I didn’t trust anypony at all, much less somepony I could have told that to!

“Even in my little brainwashed village, there weren’t any mares like me! Not that it would have mattered, because even I knew better than to sleep with any of them! If I let somepony get close to me, she would see that I was a fraud! A-and even if she didn’t notice, somehow, I would practically be—” Starlight was shaking now, hackles raised— “t-taking advantage of any mare I conned into bed with me! Because I had all the power! I had my magic! They had nothing! And I liked it that way! Because I was a predator, Cadance! A monster!

“A-and I thought I was past that, but now I see that I’m still not! I’m about the lose the love of my life, the one pony who truly understands me, because all I can think about is sex! I had to go and ruin it over my—fucking—libido!” Fire roared in Starlight’s pupils, smoke rising from her nostrils to the ceiling. “I couldn’t just let it go! I couldn’t be happy with how things were! A-and even though she’s not who I thought she was, what’s way worse than that is—is that I’m who I feared I still would be!”

As she ran out of steam, Starlight’s world blurred. Rivers of tears poured down her cheeks. She wheezed, struggling for breath, pinpricks of black dotting her vision. The chair, having once swallowed her, now spit her back up. She collapsed on the floor, all four hooves crumpling on the carpet.

Two strong wings embraced her. Their feathers wiped at her eyes as she released it all. Sire’s Hollow, Our Town, the caravan. Card tricks and fruitless spells and flower crowns. Here, there, and back again. Trixie, Twilight, her. It had always been her.

Without a word, Cadance held Starlight tight in both her forelegs and wings. Dampness marred her pristine coat and perfect preen, but she paid them no mind. The tea grew cold as they sat on the floor. She didn’t speak until Starlight’s cries had died down to wet sniffles and shaky breaths. Then, she chose her words carefully, her voice a steady, guiding beacon.

“Starlight, I’m so sorry for what you went through. While I don’t know the full story, Twilight told me enough for me to know that what you did was driven by deep, unbearable pain.” Lifting Starlight by the chin, she continued, “But you aren’t that pony anymore. You are not a monster. You are not a predator. And you never were—not for having desire.” She shook her head. “So many ponies wrap themselves up in shame and guilt, twisting themselves into knots for the crime of simply wanting. Wanting love. Wanting companionship. Wanting sex. There’s nothing wrong with any of that. And I’m sorry if somepony made you feel like there was.”

When Cadance pulled away, Starlight averted her eyes. Too much swirled within and without her, blocking out the truth from reaching her ears.

“Don’t you see? This is not just about Trixie’s anatomy. It’s about what this all means in relation to your own story.” Reaching over, Cadance took Starlight’s forehooves in her own. “Becoming who you are—both as a mare, and as a pony—was so difficult. Probably painful at times. And you’re worried that, if things work out with Trixie, that story, that journey to accepting who you are, is invalid—whether you really believe that or not.”

Cadance shook her head. “But it’s not, my dear. Your story has a happy ending. You made mistakes, but you owned up to them. You changed. You made friends. You accepted yourself. And… you found love.” A warm smile tugged at the corners of her muzzle. “With another mare. One who you love somuch that you’d do anything to make her happy.”

As Starlight looked up from the floor, something swelled in her chest. Something that felt like hope. She took in a momentous breath, the weight against her heart finally feeling like it could move. “You’re right. I would do anything for her, Cadance. I…” She met Cadance’s eyes, marveling at the compassion reflected in them. It made her own shine. “I don’t want to lose her.”

“So, don’t.” Cadance smiled. “Regardless of the details, or how anypony else wants to view it, you know that she is your mare. Otherwise, you would have never loved her in the first place.” Cadance brought their joined forehooves to rest against Starlight’s heart. “This has not, and will never, lead you astray. Trust its judgment.”

“... You’re right.” Starlight loosened her grip, realizing she’d been squeezing Cadance’s forehooves this entire time. “But…” Crimson blossomed across her muzzle. “Wh-what about… um...” Sighing, she mumbled, “You know.”

With an understanding nod, Cadance answered, “You do whatever you are comfortable with. Whether that’s quite a bit, only a few things, or nothing just yet. Whatever you both are comfortable doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has similar worries as you.”

“I—” Starlight bit her lip. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“It’s easy to get stuck in our own heads, but this is something you will have to figure out together. It won’t be easy, but sex rarely is. Especially if you’re both new to it.”

Starlight gulped. “R-right.” Another breath, before she asked a second question. “What would you do if you were me?”

Cadance cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

“W-well… What if…” Starlight pulled away from Cadance at last. “What if you woke up tomorrow, and Shining Armor had… the… other parts.”

For a moment, Cadance just stared at her. Starlight balked, an apology already forming on her lips. Despite the informality of their conversation, some things were definitely inappropriate to ask a Princess. This level of faux pas was—

Cadancelaughed.

Before Starlight could respond—though nothing coherent entered her mind as a response—Cadance held up a forehoof. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh. A-and I'm not laughing at you, Starlight. It’s… hee hee, it’s just…” She couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Did you really expect the Princess of Love to be straight?”

Though she shouldn’t have, Starlight rolled her eyes. “Well, congrats to you, Princess Pansexual.”

“Ooh, I’ll have to remember that one.” Cadance’s horn sparked. “And speaking of sex… I have something for you.”

While Starlight practiced her best imitation of a tomato, Cadance plucked several books from her bookshelf. They landed on the table beside Starlight’s teacup. “While there isn’t anything specific to your relationship, between these guides, I think you and Trixie should find some… fun things to try.” If she smiled any wider, her face would’ve split in half. “Particularly chapter three of the second one.”

Through a sheen of sweat, Starlight stared back at her, stricken mute.

“You can borrow them as long as you need. Hopefully they’ll be useful to you.”

That wink made Starlight wonder if she’d ever be able to speak again.

Thankfully, her stupor didn’t last long. The rear door of the study flew open. “Honey!” Shining Armor quickly trotted in, Flurry Heart sitting atop his head. The filly held onto his ears for support as she babbled happy noises. “Sorry to interrupt, but the builders want to know where they should erect the maypole.”

Snickering, Cadance said, “Well, that’s my cue.” She rose to her hooves, pulling Starlight up with her. “Before I go, is there anything else I can help you with?”

“N-no,” Starlight said after a moment, her throat feeling far too dry. “But… thank you.” She rubbed one foreleg with the other, an uneasy smile spreading across her face. “I—you have no idea how much you’ve helped.”

“But of course.” Cadance offered her one last hug, which Starlight gladly accepted. “Don’t forget your books. Although, I wouldn’t recommend reading them on the train,” she added, winking again as they pulled away. Starlight tried not to notice.

“‘Books’?” From the rear of the room, Shining Armor said with a cheeky grin, “Don’t tell me you loaned Starlight one of those trashy romance novels you’re always getting in the mail.”

When she met her husband and daughter at the door, Cadance replied, “Worse. The ones I bought for our wedding night.”

If Starlight had blushed before, she blazed now.

“Oh.” As they left, Shining Armor called out, “Try the second book. Chapter three!”

The doors closed behind them, leaving Starlight to burn.

Once she was alone, Starlight glanced at the books on the table. The title of the first one made her heart pound. That of the second… left her breathless. Slowly, carefully, she levitated the second tome towards her, then turned to chapter three...

“O-oh…” The fire on her face seared downwards. “W-w-wow…”

Remembering exactly where she was, Starlight slammed the book shut.

Cadance was right. She wouldn’t want to read these on the train, either. Not without a private cab, a locking door… and a soundproofing spell.

… Perhaps she needed to upgrade her return ticket.

With

Sometime between the day Starlight met her and the day the Changelings attacked, Trixie had moved her wagon near Twilight’s castle. There, it had more or less become a permanent fixture. Other than when Trixie left on periodic show tours, Starlight knew that the caravan would always be waiting for her.

When she looked out her bedroom window tonight, she thanked whatever lucky stars remained that it hadn’t moved.

The moon was on the wane as it guided her down the path, her saddlebags bouncing on her back. Starlight took her time, rehearsing and rehashing what she had said in the mirror—and read between pages. It was a little easier to breathe if she didn’t think too much on the latter.

The roar of a campfire greeted her. Her back to Starlight, Trixie sat on a log beside her fire. Sans her trademark hat, her cape billowed around her shoulders in the slight breeze. A kettle boiled over the flames, two empty mugs resting on a nearby stump.

As Starlight approached, Trixie’s ears flicked. “Starry!” She turned around, the warmth of her smile rivaling that of the blaze. Any hint of the previous night’s tumult was hidden beneath her cheer.

Starlight smiled back. “H-hey, Trix.”

“Come, sit.” Taking the kettle off its hook, Trixie said with a mischievous grin, “You’re just in time to try the Great and Powerful Trixie’s secret hot cocoa recipe.”

Starlight did as she was bade, sitting on the log beside her. She slung her saddlebags off her back and set them behind their seat. “Secret hot cocoa recipe, huh?”

“Mmhmm!” After filling both of the mugs, Trixie passed one over. “See if you can guess what the secret ingredient is.”

With a gradual sip, Starlight swirled the cocoa over her tastebuds. She smacked her lips, letting the flavor simmer. Besides the rich chocolate, she detected notes of brown sugar, cinnamon, and something… Not exactly spicy, per se, but… invigorating. Something that tap-danced tingles on her tongue, lingering with a sweet heat. Whatever it was, Starlight finished it with a long gulp, then poured herself another.

Trixie giggled. “That good, huh?”

“Sure is.” As she took another satisfying drink, Starlight said, “I’m not sure what the secret ingredient is though. There’s cinnamon and brown sugar, but I don’t know what the last thing is.”

Trixie smirked. “Take your best guess.”

Starlight shrugged. “I’m not great with spices. Or cooking in general.” Chuckling, she added, “You should’ve seen what happened the last time I tried baking with Pinkie Pie. I think I got more flour on myself than in the cake.”

Trixie chuckled back. “Oh, that is adorable. Remind me to ask you to make my birthday cake next month.” She playfully wiggled her eyebrows. “Trixie is not afraid of bakery ghosts.”

Starlight blushed, Trixie’s cute little laugh sending her mind places it ought not to go… yet. She tried not to think about it too much. Patience.

“Mmm, maybe, but no promises. I’d like you to have a cake that’s edible.”

“We’ll see.” There was that smug grin. “So, you really don’t know what it is? No more guesses?”

“Nope. You’ve stumped me.”

“It’s chili powder. Just a sprinkle.” As she topped off Starlight’s mug and filled her own, Trixie added, “Though it’s more accurate to say it's my mother’s recipe than mine.”

Firewood hissed, popped, and crackled. The resulting embers flew up towards the moon. “When I was little, she would always make me a cup of this cocoa whenever I was sad.” Trixie’s eyes traced up to the stars. “Whenever I visit her now, I make it for both of us. She calls it ‘empathy cocoa’.”

Empathy cocoa. That was a phrase to remember. Good timing, too. Starlight knew that the conversation—and the night—would soon have to return to yesterday. The fact that it hadn't already defied her expectations. What she’d rehearsed came to the forefront of her mind, but the words sounded… distant, now. Maybe she should have taken a page out of Twilight’s playbook and brought some flashcards.

Rustling fabric yanked Starlight from her reverie. Beside her, Trixie withdrew a drawstring pouch from beneath her cape. She flashed a familiar grin. “Want to see something I’ve been working on for my next show?”

At Starlight’s nod, Trixie floated the pouch above the campfire. Sprinkles of black powder rained down from above. The flames roared, growing in both height and intensity, before something amazing happened.

Shades of blue, green, and purple joined those of yellow, red, and orange. A spectrum of color burned before Starlight’s eyes. It roared and pulsed, surging and shimmering, a tempest of spectacle and magic. The fire did not stray past its bounds, but burned taller, brighter, a rainbow column reaching towards the heavens. The light show didn’t last as long as Trixie’s usual fireworks, though it was just as wondrous. The display continued on for about a minute before it faded, the campfire returning to its original height and hues.

“Just a sprinkle.” Trixie beamed, her head held high as she tucked the pouch away. “Sometimes, all you need to take the ordinary, and make it extraordinary, is just a little sprinkle at the turn.”

“Wow! That was beautiful, Trix.” Eyes shining with wonder, Starlight asked, “What was that?”

“Oh, no, no, no.” Trixie waved a forehoof. “My dear Starry, have you forgotten already? A magician never reveals her secrets.”

Secrets. Ah, there it was. Unintentionally or not, Trixie gave Starlight an opening. She scooted closer. “Not even to her Great and Powerful assistant?”

A separate heat sparked across Trixie’s cheeks. “W-well… maybe just this once.” Although she didn’t shy away from Starlight, she didn’t move as close as she normally would have.

“What Trixie just showed you is called cold fire. It is not something that ponies made.” Trixie paused. “There was a time in Trixie’s life when she… wandered, quite a bit. Moving from town to town, trying to make ends meet. Trying to become Great and Powerful. And maybe figure out some other things along the way.”

Starlight sipped her empathy cocoa. “I see.”

“Trixie’s travels took her near the southernmost part of Equestria. Between the Macintosh Hills and Appleloosa, she met the Buffalo. Their leaders, Chief Thunderhooves and Little Strongheart, welcomed Trixie to their camp. They taught her how to survive in the brutal desert. And in exchange for Trixie’s amazing magic show, they gave her the pouch.”

“So, it’s not your trick?”

“There are rarely any completely new tricks, Starry.” That smile again. So boastful, almost haughty, but endearing in the flickering light. “But I added my own flair to theirs.”

After retrieving the pouch, Trixie grabbed a hoofful of dust and blew it onto the flames. Magenta magic crackled in time with the firewood as her horn glowed.

Small figures of a mare, a wagon, and two Buffalo—one huge, one tiny—appeared above the tongues of the flame. The mare climbed atop the wagon, trails of green, blue, and purple fireworks shooting into the sky above. The Buffalo clapped their hooves as the mare took a bow. All three disappeared when Trixie’s horn extinguished.

“The cold fire is what changes the flames, but my magic can make more than just pretty colors.”

Starlight rested her head on Trixie’s chest. Something thumped against her ear. “More illusions, then.”

Starlight could feel Trixie gulp. “Y-yes.” In a flash, the pouch was gone. Trixie looked around, seeming to avoid both touching and looking at Starlight, before she glanced at something behind them.

Starlight followed her line of sight. “Oh! I almost forgot.” She sat upright, opened her saddlebags, and levitated the bulk of its contents before their eyes.

“Flower… crowns?” Trixie quirked an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you were a greenhoof. To be honest, I’m surprised the flowers I gave you are even still alive.”

Starlight both grinned and groaned. “Oh, hush.” The wreaths of white lilies and apple blossoms set down beside their cocoa mugs. “And I didn’t make them. I got them from the Crystal Empire. They’re for the Midsummer festival tomorrow.”

“Midsummer? I’ve never heard of—wait.” Trixie’s brow furrowed. “The Crystal Empire? That’s where you were all day?”

“Yes, I went there this morning to—wait.” Starlight’s brow furrowed in turn. “How did you know I left?”

At that question, Trixie really avoided Starlight’s gaze. A tense silence passed before she confessed, “Tr-Trixie may have… watched you leave.” Between the crackles of the campfire, Starlight almost didn’t hear her add, “And… waited for you to come back.”

Starlight winced. “Trix—I didn’t—”

Without looking at her, Trixie continued, “Trixie is sorry that she spied on you. She doesn’t normally. It’s just… Trixie—I was making breakfast when I saw you leave the castle, and...” A heavy sigh. “You didn’t look happy.”

Despite all her preparations, the right words evaded her. Starlight fiddled with her forehooves, staring into the fire. The rhythm of the flame was all that countered the foreboding quiet… Until Trixie said something that made Starlight’s heart seize.

“I wasn’t sure when you’d come back. If you’d come back.”

“... Trix—”

“Watch.”

Another flash of magic. A rush of dust. The spell. The mare reappeared, pulling her wagon, her signature hat and cape flapping in an ethereal breeze. She moved in endless repetition across the starry plain, backdrops of mountains and forests churning in time with her travels.

Once she came to a stop, the mare stood atop a stage, fireworks exploding above her. Faceless ponies clapped and stomped their hooves. The mare took a bow, smiling.

When the stage faded, it was just her and the wagon. Her smile was gone.

A new figure formed from the coals. One with a pink coat and a purple mane striped with turquoise. The new mare climbed up the flames to join the first in the blanket of night.

The first figure approached the second. A dozen little red roses appeared before the second’s eyes. She moved forward, nuzzling at the first mare, little embers sparking and rising as they embraced. Their nuzzle turned to a kiss. They broke away to run together, a fiery sun and glowing moon rising and falling behind them as they galloped across the skyline.

When they came to a stop beneath the moon, the first mare removed her hat and cape. She seemed naked, vulnerable, asking the other mare—not with her mouth, but her eyes—to be seen. The second froze, staring, before turning away.

And running.

From the corner of her eye, Starlight saw Trixie’s horn fizzle—just for a second—before it pulsed. A fresh surge of magic travelled up the spiral of her horn. She could feel the thaumic energy humming from here, stronger than most spells she’d witnessed Trixie cast.

The first ran after the second. A large castle sprang from the sky. The mage rushed up to its towers, then locked herself away. Without her hat and cape, the magician was… alone, even more so than before, looking up at the castle with shining blue dots in her eyes.

The mare borne of cold fire flickered, nearly extinguishing, before she donned her hat and cape. The wagon glowed as it dove into the darkness before blending back down into the flames.

Then, everything was gone.

Magic doused the fire. Only embers, ash, and coals remained. Trixie magicked both the kettle and their mugs away, but otherwise didn’t move.

With her heart hammering in her ears, Starlight Glimmer knew what she had to do. Right words or not, it was now or never.

“Hey…” She laid a forehoof on Trixie’s cheek. “Look at me.”

Slowly, Trixie did, her eyes shining. Starlight’s shimmered just as much as she spoke, putting every minute bit of herself into her words.

“I’m here. I’m not leaving you.” Starlight took Trixie’s face into both of her forehooves and met her muzzle-to-muzzle. “I don’t want to even think about that. What it would feel like to not be with you. To not have you in my life. I… I can’t even fathom it.” She bit back what was welling in her chest. “And I’m sorry that what I did made you think about that. I really am.”

Finally, Trixie returned the embrace, wrapping her forelegs around her. “Starry…”

“You mean so much to me. I can’t imagine losing you.” Starlight was shaking. She grit her teeth, stealing a breath before soldiering on. “And I think I almost did. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for how I treated you. It was wrong. I was wrong.”

Trixie drew her closer. Starlight moved her forehooves from Trixie’s cheeks to her shoulders.

“I love you. More than anything. That hasn’t changed. And…” Starlight could barely speak as she finished, “I—I want to be with you. Completely, fully, wholly, with you. Just as you are.”

Trembling, Starlight leaned her snout against Trixie’s. She closed her eyes, sighing with relief as the gesture was reciprocated. The starry cape wrapped around her, fighting the cold and dark of the growing night. They shared breath, Starlight reveling in the peace of their caress.

As they pulled away, Starlight picked up the flower crowns with her aura. “The Crystal Ponies told me that these were presented, in ancient times, to one’s beloved.” She placed one atop Trixie’s head, where it lay against her mane.

Looking up at her crown, Trixie scrunched her muzzle. Then, with the most genuine smile Starlight had ever seen, Trixie used her own magic to adorn Starlight with hers. “Beloved, huh?” Trixie met her with more than moonlight shining in her eyes. “Such an old word. But it’s true. You are my beloved, Starlight Glimmer.”

“And you’re mine, Trixie Lulamoon.” Starlight pressed herself flush against her. “My mare.”

Whether Trixie pulled her in, or Starlight closed the distance herself, she wasn’t sure. All she knew was, when their lips connected, it felt… different, this time.

A good kind of different.

Electricity sparked and surged, jumping through her synapses and stirring the coals in her core. Their shadows tangled on the grass. Lips and tongues and hooves found each other, cape and crowns sent flying.

The log made a poor support for this kind of conversation. Between Trixie tugging on Starlight’s lower lip and Starlight thrusting her tongue into Trixie’s mouth, they fell backwards. They giggled as they landed, Trixie on top of Starlight.

Dew-kissed grass massaged Starlight’s back, cooling the heat bubbling through her coat. They tore free only to breathe. Panting, Starlight stared up at Trixie’s blown pupils and wild mane with the utmost awe and affection and desire.

“I want you,” Starlight whined, moving her mouth up to Trixie’s ear. She took it in her mouth, nibbling and sucking. As Trixie cried out, Starlight moved to her other ear. She exhaled hotly across it, then teased it with a long flick of her tongue before honoring it with her teeth.

While Trixie whimpered, Starlight moved to her neck. The passages of the book flowed before her eyes, mixed with her own building temptations. Kisses here, right where her neck met her jaw. Next, a little further down, right over her throat. Teeth again—

“St-Starry—y-you’re making it really h-hard to—” Trixie moaned when Starlight found that spot—“th-think, here.”

“Then don’t think.” Flattening her tongue, Starlight licked all over Trixie’s neck, massaging away the marks her teeth had left behind. Between the dew on her back and the sweat rolling down her neck, there was a third slickness making its presence known. Her motions were fluid, almost dreamlike, as her mouth met Trixie’s neck, ears, cheeks, forehead, lips.

“Then—” Trixie wrestled her lips free, her forehooves running down Starlight’s back—“can we—hah—” Starlight lapped at her neck—“p-please go in the—oh, fuck, Starry—” Starlight bit at her shoulder, whimpering as Trixie’s forehooves found her flanks—“wagon?”

While there wasn’t much blood left in Starlight’s brain, there was enough to allow her a moment of reason. “Oh. Heh. R-right.” Before she lost herself in the sensations flooding her senses, Starlight pulled away. Trixie’s legs trembled as she rose, helping Starlight up with her.

Giving her both a bow and a sultry grin, Trixie opened the door to her caravan. “After you, my dear.”

“Why?” With a flick of her horn, Starlight threw her saddlebags, as well as Trixie’s cape and the discarded crowns, inside. They landed on a box of fireworks. “So you can watch me walk away?”

Trixie licked her lips. “Uh-huh.”

“Good—” Starlight looked over her shoulder with a come-hither grin—“because I want you to see.”

Flicking her tail, Starlight ran its long, soft strands across Trixie’s nose. She held it there, letting her scent proliferate, before she gave her a teasing whap under her chin. As she entered, sashaying her hips, she flagged her tail high. She wanted her mare to get a good look at what she had been doing to her. Doing to her even before she said she loved her, even before she kissed her, on nights when all Starlight had was the mental image, the box without the puzzle pieces, the dream that led to all of this.

Even with the books, Starlight didn’t know everything, but she knew her own body well enough. She didn’t need a mirror to know how rapidly she was winking, her lips dripping, her hardened clitoris pulsating in time with her racing heart. All of it calling out in wanton abandon.

The door barely closed before Trixie pounced on her.

Connected at the lips, they moved as one pony. Starlight backwards, pulling. Trixie forwards, pushing. Starlight almost tripped, but Trixie caught her in time. They climbed on the messy bed, covers and pillows in disarray. Starlight almost smacked her head on the headboard as Trixie crawled on top of her. Trixie stole the laugh forming on Starlight’s lips, replacing it with a fierce kiss.

“You have—” Starlight wrapped her forelegs around Trixie’s back as she kissed her cheeks— “no—” her forehead— “idea—hah—” she found her ears— “how l-long I’ve—mmmrf—” her jawline— “wanted this ex—aaah—” now her neck— “sc-scenario!”

“Me too,” Trixie purred, before nipping at her again, just the way she needed.

Trixie’s mouth burned hotter than fire. Starlight felt something damp on her fur as she trailed down. Notes of chocolate, brown sugar, cinnamon, and chili powder clung to her coat. Starlight would bathe in nothing but empathy cocoa for the rest of her life if it meant that she could be with her. With her wonderful lips and mouth and tongue and teeth. Oh, Celestia and Luna and Cadance, how good this felt. How wonderful that this was happening now, happening finally, her entire body one taut string, and Trixie was beautifully unwinding her, moving down her barrel to—

Where she would—

“Wait.”

Trixie stopped, her muzzle flushed. “Yes, Starry? Is something wrong?”

Starlight sat up. “Come here.”

When Trixie did, Starlight laid her horn against Trixie's, resting their foreheads together. Their breathing ragged, she allowed them a moment to recuperate, before she said, “Undo your spell.”

Ears drooping, Trixie asked, “Are you sure?”

“If you don’t want to, I won’t force you. But I promise I won’t shy away again,” Starlight vowed with a gentle kiss. “I want to please you, too.”

“But you were already doing a good job, especially when you—nngh, did that.”

Starlight smoothed over her nibble, moving up from Trixie’s neck. “Yes, but—” she peppered more kisses on her way—“it’s only fair.”

Trixie shivered when Starlight’s mouth found her ears again. “L-leave it to you to worry about equality.”

Starlight laughed. “Oh, I’m gonna make you pay for that one, Trix.”

As Trixie considered what payment meant, Starlight’s nibbles escalated to deep, loving bites on her neck and shoulders. Trixie groaned and gasped as Starlight left her marks on her, clues that pointed to where she was heading next. Their coats were already a roadmap of love, blue and black tracing the routes of their intimacy. Red flushed under Trixie’s fur when Starlight slid lower, dipping her head as she moved from her chest to her stomach.

When Starlight reached where the illusion took hold, she looked up at Trixie in a strange mix of haste and restraint. Her nerves were afire, her heart arrhythmic as she struggled to remember the most important things she’d read. And felt.

Another tense silence passed. Then, Trixie nodded. “O-okay. But—l-let me sit down for this, alright?”

Starlight moved back up to kiss her nose. “Of course.”

They switched positions, Trixie resting against the headboard, Starlight sitting beside her. She reached over to hold Trixie’s forehooves as she began the spell, glistening magenta magic gathering in the darkness.

Eyes squeezed shut, Trixie cast away her illusion. Like last night, she strained until the spell completed. When she opened her eyes, she looked to Starlight, the heavy blush on her cheeks spelling out more than her arousal.

Rather than look down, Starlight eased her into a passionate kiss. She brushed their coats together, relishing how Trixie’s heartbeat thundered against her own.

“You’re beautiful, Trix.” Starlight swept a stray strand of mane out of Trixie’s eyes. “The most beautiful mare I’ve ever seen.”

“Y-yeah?” Trixie’s tone was far from her typical manner. She almost seemed to cower under Starlight’s gaze, no longer protected by illusion or pretense.

But Starlight was nothing to fear. Not anymore. With another kiss, she replied, “Yes. So beautiful. More than I deserve.” A memory rose to the surface, making her chuckle. “I was so nervous when you asked me out. I spent the whole day before our first date practice-kissing my mirror.”

“Really?” Trixie raised both eyebrows. “You were worried about impressing me?”

“More like I was afraid of screwing something up, but yes.”

“Well, you didn’t. Not even close.” Trixie brought Starlight’s forehooves to her lips, kissing at her fetlocks. “That was one of the best nights of my life.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Even though you got food poisoning?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. We’re never going back to that place again.” Trixie’s scoff faded into a smile. “But yes. Even with that.”

As their eyes met, Starlight knew that, no matter what lay between—or beneath—them, she wasn’t going anywhere. Nor had she intended to. The things that had made her panic seemed beyond trivial now.

“I love you,” Starlight breathed, before she placed her lips to Trixie’s cheek, and then her jaw, and then her neck...

Trixie moaned, falling slack against the headboard. “I-I love you too…”

Still holding Trixie’s forehooves, Starlight descended. While her earlier travels were rapid, desperate, fueled by the fire burning between her loins, she reined it in now, taking her time as she made her way down. This time, it was the real journey. No hesitation, no illusions.

Although Trixie’s body may have been different, the way she reacted wasn’t. Every touch left her breathless, rising against Starlight’s mouth as she begged for more. And Starlight was no less excited for it; she could smell her own sweet, flowery scent becoming hazier by the second.

As she drew closer, she knew Trixie could smell it too. She could feel her knowledge. Feel something stiffening against her stomach.

Starlight’s heart was in her throat now. Little distance remained between what she knew and what she didn’t. Chest, barrel, stomach…

Then.

“St-Starry.”

From the look in those gorgeous violet eyes, Trixie was just as nervous as she was. Maybe more.

Trixie exhaled, letting loose something wound with far more tension than Starlight could imagine. “You don’t have to.” Despite overcoming the trembling in her voice, she practically squeezed Starlight’s hooves white.

“I want to.” Starlight hoped her tone bore her conviction, rather than disclosed her nerves. She released a deeply held breath of her own. “C-can I, Trix? Please?”

Between Heaven and Earth, past and present, Starlight watched as Trixie gave a slow nod.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Starlight said to Trixie—and herself.

Finally, she saw.

At a young age, Starlight had learned about her body. About the difference between herself and a stallion. She would have never guessed that those parts could belong to a mare, too. To the mare she loved, who loved her back in a way she had only dreamed of knowing. The follies of youth met the majesty of destiny on the eve of the solstice.

In addition to what lay below, the illusion had taken away Trixie’s false teats and nipples. There was nothing between her stomach and her genitals. She was completely different from Starlight down below. Nevertheless, they both were shiny and soft, their fluffy coats slicked with sweat.

When Trixie had first revealed herself, she had been… not very aroused. And smaller. Significantly smaller. Starlight hoped her shock wasn’t as visible as it felt. She knew that arousal made a difference, but she never would have guessed it would make this much of a difference.

Out of her sheath, Trixie was a considerable length. Starlight didn’t have a ruler nearby—not that she would have used it—but from the diagrams in the book, she deduced that Trixie was slightly above average. The flesh here was the same shade as her coat. Below this was a pair of round testicles, their color a darker blue. These were about the average size, if Starlight’s memory was correct.

When Starlight traced her gaze back up to Trixie’s, she wanted nothing more than to kiss away the fear and trepidation that had stolen away all traces of her joy.

It seemed like she had a job to do.

“Um…” Trixie plastered a smile across her crimson cheeks. “T-t-ta-daaa?”

Though she shouldn’t have, Starlight snorted. “Silly Trix.” She untangled their forehooves before resting hers on Trixie’s flanks. “It’s my turn to do some magic. And I want you to enjoy the show.” With a wink, Starlight mustered her biggest smile, then turned back to the task at hoof.

She reached over for her first touch. The technique required little strength—just dexterity. She cupped her dominant forehoof as she took her in her grasp. Starting at the root of the shaft, moving past the medial ring, up to the tip. Slow and gentle at first, just like it said—

“St-Starry!”

Trixie was warm. Warmer than Starlight expected, especially under her keratin. Smooth, too. Similar in texture to her lips. She watched Trixie’s reaction as she stroked her back and forth.

Trixie's hips bucked, pushing herself through Starlight's grip. Beads of sweat rolled down her coat. “Hah… Aaah… Ahhnnn…”

Though her moans were making it hard to think, Starlight remembered something important. The head was analogous to Starlight’s clitoris—the part of her that was currently winking like mad between her lips. Maybe, then…

Using both forehooves, Starlight moved up and down Trixie’s shaft with one, then circled across the head with the other. Her experiment left Trixie drenched in sweat, her breathing growing rapid.

Starlight couldn’t help but grin.

From her efforts, Trixie hardened further, becoming stiff and turgid. Trixie chewed on her lower lip, curses escaping nonetheless. Starlight gave a few more long strokes before lighting her horn, turquoise magic enveloping her mare. While her hooves could only move so fast, magic was something she’d been proficient in for far longer.

A groan rumbled through Trixie’s chest as Starlight resumed her pace. The aura caressed her from root to tip, moving in a steady, taunting tempo.

While her magic worked, Starlight shifted further below. Gently, she massaged Trixie’s scrotum, then caressed each of her orbs. The skin here was thin, even more delicate than its partner above. Starlight made sure to use only the frog of her forehoof as she explored.

All the while, Trixie struggled, her mane wild, her tail swishing with each involuntary thrust of her hips. Her half-suppressed noises were becoming higher-pitched by the second. Pure joy to Starlight’s ears. A song rising above the tattoo of her own heart.

Without warning, Starlight extinguished her horn and pulled her hooves away. A frustrated whine followed in her wake. “St-Starry! What are you—eep!”

Starlight levitated Trixie up off the bed, then picked up one of the discarded pillows. She set her back down on top of the pillow, positioning her so that her rear end was raised and her hindlegs spread open.

“Why'd you stop?” Trixie asked in a huff. “You were doing—s-so good earl—” The word fused into a moan as mana embraced her once more, thaumic energy wrapping her in heat and pressure.

A giggle rose from Starlight’s lips. Watching Trixie melt this way was beyond adorable. “Sorry. Had to move you around for something I hope you’ll like.” She flashed a teasing grin before moving back down.

Starlight laid on her stomach as she pulled Trixie closer, guiding her down on the pillow. With one forehoof, she pulled Trixie’s tail to the side, exposing the round ring of flesh beneath. As Trixie watched, Starlight moved forward with the other. The frog of her forehoof made contact, rubbing gently at her entrance.

Trixie’s eyes crossed. “F-fuck…” She whimpered, grinding against her.

Starlight rubbed faster below, though she slowed her magic above. Measured strokes between Trixie’s hindlegs, coupled with faster movements beneath her tail. Starlight found herself breathing in time with her. Her own throbbing urgency was growing greater by the second as Trixie neared her peak.

When Trixie’s hips gave a mighty jerk, Starlight pulled back again.

“Starry!” Trixie growled. “A-are you just going to keep teasing me all night, or what?!”

“Hmm…” Starlight tapped her chin, then smirked. “Or what.”

Trixie harrumphed. “Th-that’s not funny!”

“I said you were going to pay for your little equality joke, didn’t I?”Laughing, Starlight shook her head. “In all seriousness, sorry, Trix. I just need a little concentration for what I’m going to do.” Her magic searched around the caravan.

“And what are you going to do?”

Instead of answering, Starlight decided to show her. After locating her saddlebags, Starlight hunted for a small glass bottle with a cork stopper. Once found, she hovered it over. To her surprise, Trixie recognized it immediately. “L-lube?”

“Don’t worry, it’s more of a precaution.” Starlight reached up to assure her with a kiss.

However, Trixie had more ideas than mere comfort. In the kiss, she seized Starlight’s tongue, sucking on it with a surprising hunger. Starlight moaned pitifully as Trixie moved her forehooves to her flanks, kneading at her cutiemarks. She blushed when she felt Trixie brush against the inside of her flank, rigid and pulsating with desire.

As they broke away, Trixie testified with a final kiss to Starlight’s lips, “I trust you.” She repositioned herself so she was sitting on the pillow, her back against the headboard.

Her own necessity building, Starlight opened the bottle. She dribbled a generous amount over her dominant forehoof, then set the bottle aside.

In conjunction with her renewed touch, Starlight resumed her strokes. Trixie’s breath hitched as Starlight applied the lubricant, the cold liquid making her shiver. Starlight apologized with a snug rush of mana around her length, increasing her speed until Trixie was breathing hard again.

Satisfied with the application, Starlight cut off her aura for a third time. Trixie seethed, clenching her jaw and furrowing her brow. Before she could whine, Starlight joined her side on the bed.

Lastly, Starlight executed two motions in unison, following instructions she would have never written herself—but hoped would work. In tandem, she took Trixie in one forehoof and, with her magic, slowly, gently, carefully entered her.

In a shrill cry, Trixie arched her back, whacking against the headboard at the combined sensation.

Starlight marveled at how much harder Trixie became when she penetrated her, forged into iron in her grasp. She doubled her rhythm, drawing out more powerful moans and foul curse words from her mare’s open mouth. Below, her magic probed deeper, searching for the ultimate prize. The special spot that was inside Starlight was inside Trixie, too. The placement was different, but the result was supposed to be the same. A few inches within, small and firm, almost round, easy to feel, something that would—

Lost to ecstasy, Trixie howled.

Starlight massaged her nub, applying constant, steady pressure, while she caressed her harder, faster, cupping Trixie as thoroughly as she could. With her free foreleg, she pulled her close, bringing her muzzle over to her mare’s.

Watching Trixie unravel was something she had fantasized about far too often. The reality was beyond her wildest dreams. There was no comparison. Starlight could barely contain from touching herself as it happened, but resolved to concentrate, unwilling to deny Trixie—to deny them—this moment.

“C-come for me, Trix,” Starlight whispered, snatching an elusive breath before kissing her again.

As soon as their lips met, Starlight felt Trixie spasm.

In Starlight’s grip, Trixie flared, her hips thrusting of their own accord. Hot, sticky, bitter-smelling ropes of ejaculate erupted from her twitching length, marring Trixie’s stomach, chest, and sheets. Despite the scent, Starlight kept up her motions, drawing forth everything that she could. While the aroma in her nostrils was decidedly not pleasant—far more bitter, almost alkaline, than her own—seeing Trixie come undone was more than worth the price.

Trixie’s strangled shout was concealed between Starlight’s lips. Starlight brought a forehoof to Trixie’s muzzle, deepening their kiss while she rode out her orgasm. Grunts and groans vibrated through her tongue as Trixie returned the embrace, her forelegs finding Starlight’s neck.

Once Starlight felt Trixie soften, she withdrew, pulling back both hoof and horn. A quick spell cleaned up the mess on Trixie’s fur and sheets. Then, she flung her now-unoccupied, somewhat-sore foreleg around Trixie’s back. She broke their embrace to smile sheepishly at her mare. “W-was that good?”

“‘Good’?” Trixie laughed. “Starry, I don’t think I’ve ever felt something like that.” Her laugh merged into a warm smile. “I don't even like to touch myself. I barely do it, except when you don’t give me a choice. But that was far better than anything I’ve ever done.”

Starlight cocked her head. “When I don’t give you a choice?”

“When you do things like this—” Trixie seized Starlight’s ear in her mouth— “or this—” Starlight shuddered as she moved to the other— “I can either take care of it, or wait for it to… go away.”

“I-I see.” When Trixie released her ears, Starlight added with a coy chuckle, “Something tells me you won’t have to do either anymore.”

Nuzzling at her cheek, Trixie replied, “And I’m the luckiest mare in Equestria to have that. To have you.” Following another kiss, Trixie flipped Starlight over so that she was on top. “Now it’s your turn to be taken care of, Starry,” she whispered, leaning down to exhale hotly in her ear. “My turn to make you feel good.”

The resulting chill spread through Starlight’s every nerve. Tender warmth combined with her primal affections. She had little more than a second to react before Trixie brought her need to the forefront of her mind. Pinning her down, assaulting her most sensitive spots, all while Starlight could do little more than cling to her neck and moan her name.

If Trixie sought revenge for Starlight’s unintentional teasing, she didn’t enact it now. Instead, she moved with purpose, yanking Starlight’s cries from her as she kissed, licked, and bit all the way down her barrel. She paused when she reached her teats, letting Starlight catch her breath.

“You are the beautiful one, Starry.” Trixie leaned up to kiss her. “Trixie may be Great and Powerful, but you are the one whom she does not deserve.”

The soft brush of her lips was a stark contrast to the gnash of her enamel and swirl of her tongue. Without having been touched below her stomach, Starlight felt like she was just a few steps from the edge. Even so, this tender kiss was the most erotic thing she had experienced tonight.

When they pulled away, Starlight found herself looking up at Trixie the same way she had when they’d tumbled to the grass. Days, nights, and moments fused together, everything leading to this. Any words she could have found suitable dissolved on her lips. Overjoyed, her eyes misted as she smiled up at her, regarding her with more love than she felt capable of giving.

But Trixie knew better, kissing away her doubts. “I’m going to keep moving.” She nuzzled Starlight’s cheek. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, please,” Starlight found the ability to say, before kissing her one last time.

Trixie’s breath was pure steam as she spurred forth, moving first to her teats. Starlight couldn’t help but squirm when she kissed her there, rippling heat tunneling straight to her core. Her face burned as Trixie took one nipple in her mouth, then the other. Soft, warm, moist. Almost too gentle.

“B-bite me,” Starlight cried, her blush darkening when she realized how desperate she sounded.

Trixie hesitated, seeming unsure, before she gave Starlight what she wanted.

“Aaaah! Tr-Trix!” The brief pain gave way to a sweet tingle that felt directly linked to that spot. When Trixie did it to her other nipple, gibberish poured from Starlight’s lips, dribbling like the faucet between her hindlegs.

Panting, Starlight peered down to see Trixie regard her with a mischievous grin. Before she could question what was on her devious mind, Trixie called on her magic. Starlight yelped as Trixie laid her against the headboard, then grabbed the wayward pillow. Starlight was already soaking through the fabric when Trixie slipped it under her hips.

Giggling, Trixie raised a forehoof to her lips. “Looks like somepony is ready for me.”

Starlight jokingly rolled her eyes. “Oh, are you going to tease me now?”

“Why not?” Trixie smirked. “It’s only fair, Little Miss Equality.”

With an amused snort, Starlight smacked her with her tail. “Hush.”

“Or, maybe...” Stretching out on her stomach, Trixie positioned herself right in front of Starlight’s hindlegs. Humid breath swept across her as she spoke, making Starlight shudder. “We can talk about how close you were to fucking me on the grass.”

Closer than Starlight was then, Trixie was very close to her now. Tauntingly, mockingly close. Truth be told, Starlight had half a mind to grab her mane and shove her where she wanted her. The last bit of her resolve was tested as she merely lowered her eyelids and replied in a husky purr, “It’s your fault for being so irresistible.”

Trixie returned it. “Mmm, can’t argue with that.”

Although she expected further banter, Starlight was pleasantly surprised when Trixie reached for her flanks. Another whimper followed, echoing from somewhere deep within her, growing louder as Trixie circled her cutiemarks with kisses. Kisses alone were never enough. Soon, Trixie was licking them up and down, nibbling here and there, Starlight’s hindlegs twitching in response.

Moving inwards, Trixie bit at the crook of Starlight’s flank where it met her barrel. With an elongated gasp, Starlight instinctively locked her hindlegs around Trixie’s neck.

Rather than fight it, Trixie approached further, her lips mere inches from Starlight’s own. The rush of blood in Starlight’s ears was deafening. The anticipation alone dilated time from seconds to years in the blink of an eye. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could wait. How much more her heart could take. To die like this would be wonderful. However, she wished that, before she did, she could once, just once, first—

“Tr-Tr-Trix—ohhh, shit—”

Trixie’s forehoof was the right pressure, the right thickness, the right texture. Exactly right. Starlight bucked her hips, thrusting against her exploratory touches. Her tail swished of its own accord, enticing her mare to continue. She did just that. Around her outer lips, between her inner labia, circling her entrance, right up to—

“—Fuuuck!”

The sensation was almost overwhelming. Trixie was right on her clitoris. She stroked her back and forth, up and down, in any and all directions. One long, continuous massage. Starlight simultaneously wanted to slam herself shut and spread herself as wide as possible.

Swollen with painful need, her button winked in rapid succession. The building pressure in her loins was her sole focus. Trixie caressed her as she swore, panted, cried, moaned, begging for it to both stop and continue.

It was so good. It was too good.

Sweat rolling down her mane, certain she looked like an absolute wreck, Starlight shook through her haze enough to meet Trixie’s gaze. It seemed that her mare had been waiting for her, those impossibly beautiful eyes locked on Starlight’s. To both her relief and frustration, Trixie ceased her ministrations, pulling away.

Not for long.

What rolled off Starlight’s tongue could’ve been a word. Maybe even one that belonged in the dictionary. But she had neither the faculties, nor the inclination, to discern the validity of that statement.

Because Trixie had her in her mouth.

Not only had Trixie finally tasted her, Starlight’s overwhelming aroma no doubt the only thing either of them could smell or taste, but she had taken her into her mouth. The tiny, hardened, throbbing center of her pleasure was now Starlight’s entire cosmos.

And Trixie had it in her mouth. Hot and wet and perfect. She sucked at her between laps of her tongue. Her nose pressed against the crest of her labia as she gazed up at her with the utmost affection and reverence Starlight had ever felt. The shooting stars that twinkled before her eyes were reflected back in Trixie’s.

Starlight buried her forehooves in Trixie’s mane. Between all four limbs, she held her there, needing, wanting, requiring her. She no longer heard her own pleas; everything was one loud, thrumming leyline of dreadful exhilarance. Waves of bliss crashed through her, the sensitivity almost too much to bear. She wanted it to end forever; she never wanted to feel anything else.

In one forceful motion, engulfing her pearl in her inferno of a mouth, Trixie took it all from her.

As Starlight screamed, she realized they’d forgotten to soundproof the wagon. Equus itself must have heard her screech as everything condensed into one white-hot, blinding rush. Her entire body shook, her limbs locking, every muscle tensing and releasing at once. In that nanosecond of a summit, Starlight understood why one of the books called climax “the small death”.

Who she was before and after were two different ponies.

And this Starlight Glimmer looked down at this Trixie Lulamoon, meeting her anew.

Once Starlight came back down to Equestria, to Ponyville, to the caravan, Trixie slipped free of her bonds. Like any magician worth her salt, she had an escape act. Trixie’s ended in joining Starlight’s side, returning to her.

The way Trixie kissed her afterwards was something Starlight longed to never forget.

As they lay flush against each other, tongues entwining, Starlight tasted herself. The flavor here was divine—sweet, viscous, almost as delectable as honey. She drank every drop that she could.

“Well,” Trixie said with a toothy grin, “how was that?”

“Great…” Starlight laid a forehoof on Trixie’s chest, lingering over the same place where her own heart was finding rest. “And powerful.”

Trixie gave a mock bow. They laughed before falling into each other, Trixie pressing Starlight against the headboard.

Something else pressed against Starlight, too.

Before Starlight could react, Trixie recoiled. “S-sorry,” she muttered, “I didn’t mean for that to happen again. I-I guess it’s been a while since I’ve, um, had any kind of… release. B-before tonight, I mean.”

“Oh?” Unabashed, Starlight took her forehooves in her own. “Are you saying that you’re pent up?” She glanced down, confirming that Trixie was, indeed, fully extended from her sheath. The “refractory period,” as she had read, usually lasted longer than this. However, given what Trixie had done to her, she wasn’t quite sure if her sense of time was accurate at the moment.

“M-maybe a little.” Trixie sighed. “But it’s okay. You don’t have to, um, do anything everytime this happens.”

Starlight brought Trixie’s forehooves to her lips. “I know.” She kissed her fetlocks before releasing her. “But I don’t mind,” she added, leaning forward to whisper in her ear. A delightful shiver followed. “You’ve been a good mare. I think you deserve a second treat.” She nipped at Trixie’s neck. “Don’t you?”

Trixie could only nod, Starlight stealing her breath yet again.

While Starlight repaid the favor, her mouth tracing back over her mare’s favorite spots, she searched her memory for what to do next. Although she knew Trixie wouldn’t mind doing the same thing again, she didn’t want to get stuck in a routine so soon. That was bad, right? Cadance’s books emphasized exploring new things, trying different positions, adding spice to the bedroom. Like a dash of chili powder. Or a dusting of cold fire.

Maybe something a little… different, than what she expected. Than what they both expected.

When Starlight reached Trixie’s stomach, instead of more kisses, Starlight stopped entirely. She moved from the bed to sit on her haunches on the floor. “Can you move over here?”

Trixie scooted over. “Like this?”

“Further. Hang your hindlegs down over the bed.”

Trixie’s cheeks ignited when she did as Starlight requested, appearing to realize exactly what kind of position they were setting up.

Sensing her nerves, Starlight said with a gentle smile, “It’s okay, Trix. Just relax.” Already, she could feel the lump rising in her own throat. She sought not to convey it, wanting to return the favor. To guide Trixie to the same euphoria.

The bed was higher off the floor than usual. A custom frame allowed for additional storage underneath. If Starlight leaned at an angle, she could reach Trixie without having to rear up on her hindhooves too much. She wasn’t sure how long she could do this—if she could do this. In the case that she actually could, she wanted to be as comfortable as possible.

Resting one forehoof on Trixie’s right hindleg, Starlight used the other to brace herself on the bed. Trixie circled her left hindleg around her back for additional support. Whether it was intended for her own or Starlight’s, Starlight wasn’t quite sure.

As she drew closer, Starlight caught a whiff of a thick, earthy musk. It was a stark contrast to her own. Not as unpleasant as ejaculate, but definitely not… preferable.

Trixie’s meticulous hygiene routine came to mind. She’d bathe at least once a day, sometimes twice. Luckily for her, after some persuading from Starlight, Twilight allowed her to use the castle showers as she pleased. On the road, she either used a river or paid for a room with a shower. One last piece of the puzzle clicked together in Starlight’s mind. Trixie must not have been too fond of her own scent either.

That in mind, Starlight further committed to doing her best. The scarlet on Trixie’s muzzle burned bright enough to turn her entire coat purple. If either of them was nervous before, it paled in comparison to this moment.

Taking it slow, Starlight started at the base, kissing up to the tip. Light, delicate kisses interspersed with slow breaths. She didn’t taste much but warmth. Trixie whimpered and twitched at her affections.

Flattening her tongue, Starlight slicked across her head. Trixie let out a tiny, high-pitched squeal. Still mostly just warmth. Maybe a little sweat. More licks, from head, to base, and back again. All around her circumference, twice for good measure, Trixie clearly straining not to thrust against her with every touch.

Starlight took a moment to move her mouth down below, honoring each of Trixie’s orbs with successive kisses. Trixie swore, her hindleg shaking on Starlight’s back. When Starlight unsheathed her tongue, lapping at her velvety skin, she saw Trixie bite down on her own forehoof. Hard.

As Starlight moved back up, she gently cupped the base of Trixie’s iron. Far from the forge, she was, nevertheless, fully tempered. This wasn’t going to be easy. Starlight exhaled, steeling herself with a few deep breaths. Then, she opened her mouth, and, gingerly…

“Shitshitshit! ST-STARRY!” Trixie laid a forehoof on Starlight’s mane. “That’s—hah—ohhhhh—C-Celestia…!” She chewed on her free forehoof, burying mountains of profanities and proclamations, writhing on the edge of the bed.

Neither the taste, nor the smell, changed that much. But that was no longer her most paramount concern. Starlight was flabbergasted at just how big Trixie felt in her mouth. She was as open as wide as possible, mindful of her teeth, her tongue lying flat against the underside of her head. “Slightly above average” seemed like an incredible misnomer. The diagrams must not have been to scale.

What wasn’t so tough to swallow, however, was how Trixie responded. More than ever, she did everything possible to refrain from losing control. The depths of her efforts were evident through every minute motion that seeped through her willpower. Her hips shook, her hindlegs twitched, and her chest heaved with every passing breath.

That alone gave Starlight the strength to go on.

Meanwhile, Starlight concentrated on taking her own fitful breaths through her nostrils. By doing so, at the very least, she wouldn’t gag. Regardless of her own discomfort, she was determined to please her mare as much as possible. She kept one forehoof on Trixie’s barrel, bracing herself as she continued.

Inch by inch, Starlight moved forward, almost worried that her jaw would unhinge. She closed her eyes, letting her ears fill with Trixie’s moans and murmurs, sweet nothings punctuated with Starlight’s name. As she took her in deeper, she flicked her tongue, tasting musk and sweat. While the flavor wasn’t ideal—and probably never would be—making Trixie squirm would always be delicious.

Once she felt something reach the back of her throat, Starlight froze. Though she felt the urge, she didn’t gag. Opening her eyes, she found that she was barely at her medial ring. Barely halfway. And yet, as she peeked up at Trixie, she considered even this a success.

If Trixie had been drenched before, she was absolutely soaked now. Streams of sweat wicked down her mane and coat. The hooves on Starlight’s mane and back maintained Trixie’s stability more than anything else. She appeared ready to collapse at Starlight’s slightest movement.

Drawing back, Starlight released her with a moist pop. She paused, locking eyes with Trixie before she took her back inside.

“St-Starliiiiight—mmmrrrf!” Screwing her eyes shut, Trixie said between grunts, “I-if you keep that up, I-I’m not gonna—”

The last word was enveloped by Starlight bobbing up to her medial ring. Using both forehooves this time, Trixie silenced another scream.

Smirking around her, Starlight journeyed back down her length. She paused when she released her, catching a fresh breath. When Starlight resumed, determined to carry on, she was stopped by the weight of both forehooves on her mane—along with something flicking across her horn. Something that sent shockwaves down her spine.

Starlight let loose a muffled moan. Looking up, she saw that Trixie had taken her horn into that furnace of a mouth. Her perfect tongue slithered around the spiral, coiling, flicking as she traversed up and down.

Like it had when Trixie had been at her nipples, this new stimulation pulsed straight to Starlight’s clitoris. Starlight froze, head spinning, trying to focus on how, where, and why she should move. Everything was a jumbled soup, her mind turning to mush. Starlight hadn’t hesitated for long before Trixie started sucking on the tip of her horn in the same manner as she had her button.

Lost to rapture, she could only groan, the hum echoing around Trixie’s length. When Trixie paused for a moment, Starlight managed to push forward, miniscule distance by miniscule distance. Once she met Trixie’s medial ring, the fullness of her pushing at her absolute limits, Trixie picked up where she’d left off. While Starlight struggled to breathe, or think, or do just about anything, Trixie hummed merrily, lapping long strokes up and down her thrumming horn.

The demand between her hindlegs returned with a vengeance. Starlight found herself bucking her hips, rubbing her inner flanks together. Her forehooves shook with the temptation to just reach down and get it over with. She could hold Trixie in her mouth, or have Trixie play with her horn, but not both. Every second that passed without relief sparked the embers in her core. Her clitoris felt harder than all of Trixie, even as she bulged around her lips.

With a mournful whine, Starlight finally yanked away. If anypony hadn’t known any better, it would’ve sounded like a sob. Before Trixie could react, Starlight leapt, vaulting over the bed into her lap.

Thrusting her tongue past Trixie’s startled lips, Starlight ground against her mare’s stomach. The full mast of Trixie’s shaft brushed against her inner flanks a third time. With wide eyes, Trixie fell into the kiss, pinned against the headboard. She gasped as Starlight thrust her hips again—and not against her stomach.

“Y-y-you’re driving me crazy, Trix!” A despairing slickness between Starlight's hindlegs joined that of the clear liquid forming at Trixie’s tip. “I-I-I can’t d-do anything when y-you’re touching my h-h-horn!” Between ragged breaths, she pushed against Trixie, making them both whimper. Though her meaning was clear, she seized a breath, knowing she needed to ask explicitly. “C-can I j-just—c-can we, um—try f-finishing this t-together?”

It was something she had thought about before, when she’d still been left in the cold and dark. The idea of Trixie maybe having something—or them purchasing something—had crossed her mind. When she’d first seen Trixie as she truly was, this same idea had seemed almost unthinkable. Reading about something similar in the books, she could barely parse the words, the thought of asking Trixie too embarrassing to even consider.

In the heat of the moment, Starlight could think of no better way to end tonight.

“Is that safe?” Trixie sounded scared. “Y-y-you’re not in heat, are you?”

Starlight shook her head. “I-I already had mine earlier this year. Don’t worry.”

“I—” Trixie bit her lip, suppressing a moan as Starlight’s wetness slid against her. “I n-never thought I would use it this w-wa—ohhh!” She was unable to hold that one back. “O-okay, okay. Let’s do this, b-but—also—s-sometime, maybe…” The bashful look on her face was just too cute. If nothing else killed her, that look by itself would do Starlight in. “Y-you could—buy something and… m-mount me, too.”

“Deal,” Starlight hissed, sealing it with a kiss.

Little instruction was required as they settled into their last position. In Trixie’s lap, Starlight wrapped her forelegs around Trixie’s neck. Trixie held her close, her forelegs tight around Starlight’s waist.

The bottle of lube left on the nightstand floated over in Starlight’s aura. “J-just in case.”

Trixie sucked in a breath through her teeth as Starlight spread a healthy amount over her warm flesh, coating her from head to base. “St-still c-c-cold.”

“Sorry.” Starlight quickly finished the job, then magicked the bottle back into her saddlebags. A few strokes of warm mana, and Trixie groaned, temperature forgiven as she stiffened anew.

Looking down, Starlight raised her hips. The last bits of advice sailed through her mind as she lined them up. She hovered until she felt Trixie’s tip prodding at her entrance. After one last breath, she lowered herself.

Both of them slipped. Too fast.

Trixie grimaced. “Ow.”

“Sorry!” Holding her upright in her forehoof, Starlight tried again.

Another miss, although Starlight didn’t squish anything this time.

With a frustrated groan, Starlight sparked her horn. Using her magic, she straightened out her length, Trixie curving slightly towards herself. After lining up the angle one more time, Starlight gradually pushed down.

Between the lubricant, Starlight’s own nectar, and the force of her hips, she managed to get the tip inside. She bit down on her lower lip hard enough to draw blood. The strange pressure pried her inner walls open. The head felt far too wide inside her; her mouth had been spacious compared to this.

Breathe. Don’t fight it.

“A-are you okay?”

Averting her gaze, Starlight nodded. She couldn’t look her in the eyes. Not yet.

Wait a moment. Adjust.

Deep breaths.

Starlight spread her hindlegs further as she arched back, trying to relax, trying to focus on how good this felt—how good all of this had felt. It hadn’t been perfect, no, but nothing was. Starlight knew that more than anypony else. Tonight was no exception. There had been missteps, and strange smells, and things she wasn’t sure if she’d like to try again. But there had also been so much joy, so much pleasure, so much love and intimacy and passion...

As the night drew to a close, Starlight wanted to end it on a special note. After all, she loved Trixie.

All of her.

With her heart jumping out of her chest, a sea of arousal gushing between her hindlegs, her clitoris throbbing relentlessly, and, most of all, Trixie being so patient and kind, holding her so close, looking at her with nothing but love—

—Starlight moved.

They moaned as they joined. Trixie was nothing but pure lava inside Starlight’s own magma, a volcanic embrace of tectonic pressure and metamorphic heat. Ash and steam rose from Starlight's nostrils as she gasped for breath. Trixie’s breath was humid too, burning like dragonfire in the cold night. Trixie’s tongue flopped out of her mouth as she resisted what must have been the greatest temptation to thrust back against her.

Inside her, Trixie pulsed in time with both her own heartbeat and Starlight’s winking—which, in turn, marched in tempo with her heart. A symphony of pulsating desire guided Starlight to the crescendo building between them. When she found the will to move again, she focused on that rhythm. Past the head now, taking in a little of the shaft. Movement by movement, inch by torturous inch. Her powerful muscles embraced Trixie every step of the way, gripping her with unfathomable strength.

When Starlight met Trixie’s greatest circumference, her medial ring bringing her to a halt, she allowed herself to settle. Looking down at her mare, she panted, open-mouthed. The unfamiliar tightness, coupled with how her muscles clamped down, added to the immense fullness. Rather than being pleasurable, it almost felt like resistance. Like her body was rejecting it. She hesitated, feeling locked in place, Trixie being so hard and hot and big that she couldn’t fathom how she could ever move. How they could ever move.

Starlight didn’t have much time to worry before, for the second time that night, Trixie did something that made her mind go blank.

“TRIXIE!”

Starlight howled, almost lost to that split-second of electrifying intensity. She fell forward into Trixie’s neck, burying her scream. When that passed, she transformed it into kisses, licks, nibbles, bites. Anything and everything she could do to distract herself from what her mare was doing with that horn of hers. That stupid horn, lacking in prowess, but making up for it with the utmost impeccable timing.

Magenta mana embraced Starlight’s clitoris. The surrounding heat and pressure was so intense, Starlight wasn’t sure how she hadn't melted along with it. She was the candle, Trixie the flame. And she could only guess at how much wax she had left.

As Trixie vibrated her, Starlight could barely breathe. If the ecstasy had been daunting before, it was all-encompassing now. Each pulse of Trixie’s lit horn threatened to unweave her. It took every bit of her willpower not to bellow again.

“You’re doing so good, Starlight,” Trixie soothed, bringing her closer. “You feelso good.”

“I—I—Tr-Trix, I—!” Strangled cries issued from Starlight’s throat. “I-I-I’m—!” She cut off in a long moan, her words stolen by the pulsing warmth surrounding her very core.

“I-it’s okay. I’m cl-close too.” Gentle kisses peppered up and down Starlight’s neck. “I want you to feel good too.” More kisses to her ears, cheeks, forehead. “I know it’s big. I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

“A-aah, Tr-Trix—” Any attempt at a coherent reply disintegrated, Starlight’s eyes glazing over.

Starlight wanted to move. So, so badly. Yet, between Trixie’s size and the tsunami of pleasure flooding her brain, she found herself paralyzed. She moaned again, trying to nuzzle her back. To do anything back.

Trixie nuzzled her cheek as she held her tight. “Shhh. I love you.” She took a deep breath, her entire body trembling. “I—I-I never th-thought we’d be together like this. W-we can try it again sometime—or not. B-b-but right now, I just want you to—”

Managing to find some shred of strength, Starlight interrupted with a ferocious kiss. As she teetered over the edge, she used the little bit of self-control she had left to give it one last try.

Slowly, gently, carefully, Starlight raised her hips.

Both of them gasped.

Inch by tormenting inch, Trixie enveloping her button with the most magical spell any unicorn could ever hope to learn, Starlight withdrew. She stopped when she met the head. The idea of doing that again was beyond what little comprehension she still possessed.

Staring into Trixie’s eyes, Starlight made her way back down. The second journey was slightly easier, in the same sense that Trixie was slightly above average.

But it worked.

When she reached her medial ring, Starlight kissed her again. Trixie's magic faltered as she caught her breath. Then, she picked up speed, caressing Starlight once more with her pulsing aura. Thanking her. Aiding her.

Starlight focused on keeping her pace as much as she could.

Up. Down.

Each time, a little easier.

Just a little. But a little was enough.

Trying her best not to erupt, Starlight squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated on numbers. How many strokes. How much longer. How much before—

Letting loose curses and moans of her own, Trixie finally let herself thrust. They synchronized briefly, Trixie up, Starlight down, just above Trixie’s medial ring, where Starlight was absolutely full, and sore, and hot, and wet, and everything and nothing and all of this was—

—Enough.

As she finally, mercifully, came, Starlight clamped down on Trixie’s shoulder. Her shout was buried between her teeth and lips, made manifest in deep indentations that had Trixie crying out in sync with her.

The second time was both worse and better than the first. As soon as Starlight bore down with both muzzle and muscles, Trixie’s magic cut off, freeing her thoroughly worshipped pearl at last. That same intense burst crested over Starlight. Hot, shivering pleasure flooded her nerves, nothing but the utmost relief and release wracking through her.

Starlight heard, more than felt, herself gush around Trixie. Just before she spasmed, her inner walls squeezing like a vice, Trixie managed to break free. Starlight’s powerful muscles clenched as she grinded against Trixie’s lap, saturating her fuzzy coat in the rain of her zenith.

While Starlight rode out her own ascension, Trixie found hers. The moment she pulled out, she shoved their muzzles together. Their shared cries passed between their tongues. Spurts of that thick, pungent, acrid fluid messed both of their coats this time, along with the sheets, blankets, and pillows.

Two became one for the final time that night, parting only when the last moan had diluted between their lips.

When they separated, Starlight Glimmer could not believe that she had waited so long. That they had waited this long. That she had reacted so poorly, and despaired so much, almost to the point of insanity, almost to the point of becoming somepony else. None of it had been necessary.

None of it had made this night any less sweeter, either.

Their forelegs and hooves wrapped around each other, the two mares laid down and enjoyed their afterglow for some time. Cuddled up close, they basked in their shared warmth. Even as the moon rose to its highest place in the night sky, they had no need for the dirtied sheets or blankets.

Breaking the silence, Trixie mumbled, “I have so much laundry to do tomorrow.” She looked them both over. “And we both need a shower.”

Starlight giggled. “I’ll help with the laundry.” She lowered her eyelids. “And the shower.”

“You’d better.” Trixie booped her nose. “You caused both.”

“Mmm. But it was worth it, right?”

Trixie giggled. “Always.”

“Good.” Starlight booped her back. “So you do know how to do pillow talk.”

Snickering, Trixie gave a half-hearted roll of her eyes. “The Great and Powerful Trixie always has the right words, my dear Starry. Before and after.”

Starlight laid her head on her chest. “Suuuuure.”

“Though… You may have had her beat tonight,” Trixie admitted. She drew her forelegs closer around Starlight, hugging her tight. “I’ve never heard you be so romantic.”

“I… may have had some help with that,” Starlight mumbled, hiding her sheepish grin.

“Oh? From whom?” Trixie snorted. “Don’t tell me it was Twilight.”

Starlight snorted back. “Oh, Tartarus, no. But…” She peered up into those lovely violet eyes. If she wasn’t so sore—and exhausted, she realized, a yawn interrupting her thoughts—she would’ve been tempted to dive back into them again. And maybe never come out. “That reminds me.” She circled a forehoof across Trixie’s chest. “Does the Great and Powerful Trixie actually have a performance tomorrow?”

“No.” Trixie tilted her head. “Why do you ask?”

“Because, if not…” Starlight glanced at the discarded flower crowns. “I was thinking maybe we could go on a little trip.”

Trixie followed her gaze. “Trip, huh?”

“Yeah. Go to the festival, take in the sights…” Starlight leaned up, her breath ghosting across Trixie’s muzzle. “Get a hotel…”

Trixie chuckled. “You’re insatiable, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Starlight pecked her lips. “But you love it.”

“I do,” Trixie replied, beaming. “But… If the festival is tomorrow morning, wouldn’t all the hotels be full already?”

“Maybe,” Starlight said again, before she added with a wink, “but I have a friend at the castle who could probably pull some strings.”

With a laugh, Trixie just shook her head. “A mare with friends in high places, on top of being smart, funny, kind, and a total knockout. How’d I get so lucky?”

Starlight couldn’t help but draw her in. “You, lucky? No, I’m the lucky one.” She added without hesitation, “You’re perfect for me, Trix.”

As she leaned down to meet her, Trixie said, “Starry, how about we compromise, and say… Together, we’re both lucky. Greater than the sum of our parts.”

Starlight mused, “I didn’t realize you knew math.”

“I know enough,” Trixie replied, and kissed her.

While they had a train to catch in the morning—after showers, of course, and breakfast with plenty of coffee, and too much laundry, and knowing glances from Twilight and Spike—sleep was the farthest thing from their minds. Starlight wasn’t worried. She could sleep on the way there, after all.

As they embraced in the moonlight, Starlight knew that, while the night had been different than what she had envisioned a year ago, it was no less perfect. Worth every moment of her wait. Of their wait.

And as the longest day of the year began, Starlight Glimmer wanted for nothing else.

Author's Note

Another shout-out to my pre-readers is due. Thanks again to Ice Star and chris the cynic for their help with this story.

A couple fun notes I wanted to leave here:

1) This fic makes use of flower language. All of the flowers mentioned in the story are specifically chosen.

2) The card trick Trixie does in the first chapter can be done in the real world using any deck of cards. (Minus the sleight-of-hoof and puff of smoke, that is.) The hints are there, but, if you like, I'll happily tell you the secret.

3) The empathy cocoa recipe is basically Aztec cocoa, but with chili powder instead of cayenne pepper (which is significantly spicier). Would highly recommend giving either version a try, depending on your spice tolerance.

This was a delight to write. Hope you enjoyed it. As always, comments are appreciated! :heart:

Without

“Is this your card?”

The one-eyed King of Diamonds flew from the deck, encased in a turquoise aura. Trixie shook her head. “Nope!”

Next, the Queen of Hearts, her forehooves holding a pair of flowers, levitated before Trixie’s eyes. “Nope!”

“Okay, Trix, this has to be it.” The one-eyed Jack of Spades, the stallion’s tiny mustache wiggling, was the last gamble.

“Nope, nope, nope!” Laughing, Trixie swept her forehoof in a circle. Fifty-two cards followed, spinning around the two mares. The deck danced cascading figure eights through the wagon. “My dear Starry, I’m afraid you have been bested by the Great and Powerful Trixie yet again!”

“But how?” As her three failed attempts sailed on past, Starlight Glimmer scrunched her muzzle. “I did the trick exactly like you did.”

Trixie wiggled an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” With a flick of her horn, the deck restacked itself. She shuffled, once, twice, three times. Billow, riffle, fan, cut. “Watch carefully.” She tapped the deck with a forehoof. Then, she passed it over to Starlight, fanned out the cards, and shut her eyes. “Pick a card. Any card.”

Starlight briefly glanced at the Deuce of Clubs before putting it on top of the deck. “Alright, I picked it.”

“Now, cut—”

Starlight made a quick, uneven cut, switching top and bottom halves.

“—the deck.” Trixie poked one eye open. “All done?”

“Mmhmm.”

Trixie flashed a cocky grin. Lighting her horn, she searched through the cards. She brushed through the entire deck, brow furrowed, a growing frown betraying her confidence.

“What’s the matter, Trix?” Starlight couldn’t help but giggle. “Something went wrong with your little trick?”

Slowly, Trixie nodded, looking up at her with wide eyes. “It sure did, Starry.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I just can’t believe you would do this.”

Starlight tilted her head. “Huh? What did I do?”

“You need to learn to wash behind your ears—” Trixie brought a forehoof to Starlight’s left ear— “because look what I justfound!”

A loud pop rang out. A misty cloud of smoke followed. Starlight coughed, waving the fumes from her face. In Trixie’s outstretched forehoof sat the Deuce of Clubs, the card staring back at Starlight with faceless mirth.

If Starlight hadn’t been in love, she would’ve wanted to wipe that ridiculous smirk off Trixie’s muzzle.

Instead, Starlight playfully rolled her eyes. “Okaaaay, you were right. Card tricks aren’t as easy as they seem.”

Trixie chuckled. “Was there ever any doubt, my dear? Not everypony can be as Great and Powerful as Trixie.” With practiced precision, she teleported the deck away.

Starlight saw the flash of its movement from the corner of her eye. The caravan was a maze of organized chaos. Traps awaited those who dared enter without permission or precision, especially in the dark. The last time she’d been in here, Starlight had almost set off an entire box of trick magic wands. Granted, Trixie had given her the best of them all for her trouble: a wand that transformed into an arrangement of real daisies, carnations, and cornflowers. Somehow, Starlight had managed to keep the flowers alive on her nightstand, where they greeted her every morning since.

That wand was a unique one, Trixie had said. Something she’d been saving for a very specialmare.

“I suppose not. Although...” Starlight said with a widening grin, “If you don’t want totell me how you did that trick, maybe I’ll just have to pry it out of you.”

“Oh?” Trixie raised an eyebrow as she played coy. “And how do you propose you’ll do that?”

Lowering her eyelids as she advanced, Starlight replied, “I have my ways.”

“D-do you, now?”

“Hmm? What was that?” Starlight gasped, bringing a forehoof to her forehead in mock shock. “Was that a stutter I just heard? And from the Great and Powerful Trixie, no less? Oh, how the mighty have—”

Trixie grabbed her, cutting off Starlight as she kissed her deeply.

When it came to intimacy, Trixie always seemed to meet Starlight this way. Almost shyly at first, as if trying to rein in her desire. Then, springing upon her, seizing her with all the ferocity Starlight secretly craved. Like she could only resist until the last second.

This kiss was nowhere near their first. Starlight had once been tempted to try and count them all. Such meticulousness melted away in the heat of the moment. Like the stars in tonight’s summer sky, counting them defeated the purpose.

A rumbling moan cut her thoughts short. Starlight returned it with one of her own, opening her mouth as Trixie thrust her tongue towards hers. She circled her forelegs around Trixie’s neck, falling against her mare’s chest as she deepened their embrace.

The bed was only so big; there wasn’t anywhere for Starlight to go but down. Thankfully, there was no better place for her. She closed her eyes as she imagined it finally happening. After almost a year of dates, kisses, warm touches, tonight would be the night.

As Starlight leaned back, she trailed a forehoof down Trixie’s coat.

While Trixie massaged Starlight’s tongue with her own, Starlight's thoughts raced ahead. Soon enough, Trixie would lean her all the way down, pinning her to the mattress. The growing heat in the small space would be stifling. Opening the windows would be a bad idea, however; Starlight had a feeling she wasn’t going to… come quietly. Or take it all lying down.

If her mouth hadn’t been otherwise occupied, Starlight would’ve laughed at her own terrible jokes. Trixie was making that difficult, sending chills down her spine as she pressed them further together. Starlight could feel her heart pounding at the mere notion of glimpsing this—of glimpsing her—on this fated summer night.

The anticipation throbbing in both her chest, and a place she didn’t want to acknowledge quite yet, Starlight quickened her pace. Between moans, she moved her forehoof down Trixie’s barrel, over her stomach, and across her flank.

Then, she inched inwards.

Oh, sweet stars and moon, yes. Almost there. Any moment now. Trixie could sense it too, couldn’t she? When Trixie would break away, she wouldn’t just leave it at Starlight’s lips, no. Not tonight. Tonight, when they parted for breath, she would move from Starlight’s mouth to her neck, her chest, her stomach, and then, mercy of mercies, even lower, right where Starlight needed, right where Starlight was headed, where they’d both been waiting so long, and here—

It was… cold.

Starlight opened her eyes.

Trixie had pulled away... But not to move her mouth south.

Between the glow of the rising moon and the twinkling stars beyond, the interior of the wagon was cloaked in dim light. Even so, Starlight could see something flickering in Trixie’s eyes as she turned away from her.

“Trix?” When she didn’t reply, Starlight laid a forehoof on her shoulder. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Y-you should get going, Starry. It’s—getting late. And… Trixie has… a performance in the morning.” Her words lacked their usual fanfare, but there was an unsettling familiarity to them.

“A performance?” Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Where at?”

Biting her lip, Trixie glanced out the window. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has all kinds of performances. All kinds of… grand illusions.”

Another non-answer.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” Before you started… this, again, Starlight held back.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “You don’t own Trixie, Starry. Trixie is her own boss. You are just her Great and Powerful assistant… sometimes.” Though she chuckled, it sounded like an afterthought. “Maybe not when you can’t even figure out her simple card trick.”

Starlight sensed there was something deeper at work here. Something more mysterious than sleight of hoof. “Well… Yes, I’m not your boss, Trix. You’re aren’t obligated to tell me, no. But we’re not supposed to hide things from each other, remember? Like that time with Twilight’s map table?”

Trixie winced. “Th-that was different. You have your secrets, and Trixie has hers.”

“It’s not any different. And I know you’re hiding something right now.”

If this had been the first time Trixie had abruptly broken away when things started to escalate, Starlight could have written it off as a fluke. But this wasn’t the second time. Nor the third. Nor...

Perhaps she should have been keeping track after all.

When Trixie remained silent, refusing to look at her, Starlight huffed. “Yeah, it’s pretty obvious what’s happening at this point.”

At that, Trixie turned around. “What’s obvious?”

“C’mon, Trix.” Starlight groaned. “Don’t play dumb.”

Trixie jabbed a forehoof her way. “Trixie is not dumb!”

Starlight facehoofed. “I’m not saying you are! I’m saying don’t play dumb.”

Trixie scoffed. “That’s the same thing.”

“No, it’s not.” If she hadn’t known any better, Starlight would have sworn she saw a wisp of red mana fly from her horn. “It’s—nevermind. It doesn’t matter. We have bigger issues than semantics right now.”

“Oh, yeah?” Trixie asked, almost in a sneer, “And what do you think those would be?”

The plural was as unnecessary as Starlight’s snarl. “The fact that you won’t have sex with me.”

Immediately, Trixie recoiled, as if struck. She avoided Starlight's eyes, that same something flickering back in her pupils.

The ensuing silence ripped Starlight’s resolve to tatters. The frustration in her spirit and her flesh surged as she continued, “The fact that you can’t even look at me right now. The fact that you keep lying about it. The fact that you keep making stupid excuses to get me to leave!” She spoke with her forehooves, gesticulating wildly. “And it’s been this way the whole time we’ve been dating, Trix! The moment things get heated, especially if I touch you, you’re practically shoving me out the door!”

As she rambled, Starlight’s panic brought her darkest fears to light. “Is there somepony else you’re expecting here tonight? Is that what’s been going on?!”

“No!” Trixie shouted, eyes wide with horror. “Starry, Trixie would nev—”

“Are you trying to push me away? Trying to let me down gently?”

“No! Starlight, it’s noth—”

“Do you really love me? Or did you fall out of love a while ago, and you’ve just been playing along this whole time?! Is it because of my past? Are you scared that I’ll fr—mmmmmph!”

Tirade ceased.

Until she had to breathe.

When that moment came, Starlight stared back at Trixie through a haze of confusion. The passion had been palpable; Starlight could taste it on her lips. Yet, Trixie could barely look her in the eye, choosing instead to study the floor, their hooves, the star-patterned comforter they sat upon…

At last, Trixie said, near inaudibly, “It’s not any of that.” Starlight’s ears pricked, straining, as Trixie said, almost a whisper, “I love you, Starlight. I really do. But… It’s… I’m not really…”

While Starlight didn’t really believe her own accusations, she couldn’t imagine what else could make Trixie act like this. So resistant, so… ashamed, as if she was exorcising some ancient demon by just asking. Something that made the Spirit of Nightmare or the Pony of Shadows look like foal’s play.

Starlight had never seen Trixie rendered so speechless.

After what felt like eternity, the spiral of Trixie’s horn shimmered with magenta mana. “I think it’s easier if I just show you.”

Closing her eyes, Trixie concentrated, her brow furrowing and teeth gritting as her aura grew in both size and intensity. Magic coalesced above her, forming a brilliant spiral. As the spell completed, the spiral unwound. The resulting aura wrapped her in its tendrils.

Shying away from the bright light, Starlight waited for the spell to complete. The questions that lingered on her tongue were answered when she looked back.

While Trixie was still sitting beside her, she appeared…

… Different…

In a place that mattered… very much, to the discussion at hoof.

Starlight couldn’t help but stare, even as Trixie’s cheeks burned red.

It was beyond impolite to stare at somepony this way. That was one of the earliest manners any foal learned. However, when ponies were intimate, that was a... different story. Regardless of Trixie’s frigidity, Starlight had snuck a peek at her before. What she had seen prior to this moment looked… Well, like it should.

But this… did not.

“Why do you… A-are you… Um…” Starlight couldn’t even finish. Could neither believe, nor want to believe…

It.

Them.

This.

What snapped her back was Trixie’s uncharacteristically quiet reply, answering the questions Starlight didn’t have the courage to voice. Although she spoke in her vainglorious grammar—Trixie this, Trixie that—there was nothing showboaty about it.

“Trixie is… different. She was always a filly, but… nopony else saw her as one.”

There it was. In her eyes. What Starlight had seen flicker earlier, now defined.

… Shame.

“Luckily for Trixie, her mother and father didn’t… object… when Trixie wanted to really be a filly. It took a while, but… they found a way to… make Trixie happier. When Trixie went to Canterlot to try to get into Princess Celestia’s school, the doctors there used their magic to help her be seen as the filly she was.

“It… wasn’t easy. The magic was… strong. Trixie isn’t quite sure how it worked, but it stopped the—th-the… distressing… things, from getting worse. When they fixed Trixie’s muzzle… it was… p-painful. But it worked. N-not perfectly, but it was the best that they could do. But… there are still... some… things…”

In the warm caravan, Trixie shivered. “S-s-some things cannot… be changed. There’s… no spell for… it, and, even if there was, it’s… risky. Trixie’s doctors could not… undo, everything. Nothing can. N-not even the…” The long, drawn-out sigh seemed to have the mileage of years behind it. “Alicorn Amulet.”

Starlight closed her mouth. She didn’t know how long she’d left it agape.

When Trixie’s eyes found hers, their shine twisted between humiliation and fear, Starlight mustered a breath. “Trix, I—I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to be—I had no idea that you were… or… are… um… that way.”

For the second time that night, Trixie reacted like she’d been slapped.

Starlight raised both forehooves. “W-wait! I didn’t mean—”

“No…” Trixie mumbled, “I’m sorry, Starlight. I knew this wasn’t a good idea.”

“H-hey, don’t say that.” Taking both of Trixie’s forehooves in her own, Starlight tried not to look at what was beneath her embrace. What was between them. “Trix, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just…”

Starlight trailed off, searching for the right word. “Surprised,” was what she settled on, but many more adjectives sprang to mind. Ones she didn’t want to acknowledge.

Trixie tightened her grip on Starlight’s forehooves, but said nothing.

Starlight swept her memory for an archive of spells. “That was an illusion spell. One that you just removed. Probably for the first time in a long while. Right?”

A slow, gradual nod. To the floor.

While she wasn’t going to leave, Starlight felt like she was running from something. Her hooves may have been planted firm, but her lips weren’t, another cruel question escaping before she could reel it in. “So… I know you’ve dated other ponies before, but…”

The way Trixie answered should have comforted her. “Just you, Starry. You’re the only one I’ve ever told. The… only one I’ve trusted enough.”

It did not.

“Oh. S-so you’ve never, uh… been...” The weight in Starlight’s throat rivaled that of a stone. When she swallowed, it felt like gravel all the way down. “Intimate, with anypony?”

“... No.”

To have all the pieces come together should have been satisfying. A puzzle was complete when all the pieces fit where they should. Try as she might, Starlight couldn’t imagine the image before her matching the one she’d envisioned on the box. The one she had started assembling almost a year ago, when Trixie had approached her with a bouquet of trick roses held behind her back.

If she had this night in mind… If she had known…

“H-have you?”

Starlight shook her head.

Another sigh. Higher-pitched. Almost shrill. Trixie still sounded like herself. Like… a mare.

As awful as it was to admit, Starlight had almost asked if Trixie was… the opposite. The thought seemed ridiculous in hindsight. There was no question as to what Trixie looked like. The way her muzzle curved, how she styled her mane and tail, how she carried herself. There was no masculinity to it. No hard edges, unshod hooves, or well-defined muscles.

Nopony in their right mind would have ever mistaken Trixie for a stallion.

Starlight Glimmer knew mares, befriended mares, loved mares. Loved mares. Only mares. She had been attracted to Trixie because of her femininity. While Trixie had a myriad of other qualities—tenacity, surprising depth, even that silly, oftenendearingego—Starlight would be remiss to acknowledge that it was Trixie’s beauty that lured her in first. That hadn’t been an illusion.

… Except for the one that made Trixie look like a mare where it counted.

Outside, there was a pleasant summer breeze and a blanket of stars. Inside, there was only stagnant air and a comforter far too thick for the season. Their hooves bunched up the covers on Trixie’s rarely made bed as they searched for something, anything, their eyes finding everything but each other in the silence.

A hushed concession broke it: “We don’t have to, Starlight.”

The surrender in Trixie’s eyes was no disappearing act. Nevertheless, it threw up smoke and mirrors, making Starlight’s eyes mist. She couldn’t wave these fumes away. She was the one who had brought them forth.

Starlight wanted to punch herself. Was this really that big of a deal?

… Poor choice of words. Correction: Was it worth all this?

As gently as she could, Starlight replied, “Trix, I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. I—I know you only like mares, Starlight.”

“But you are a mare!” Starlight insisted, louder than she should have.

“Really?” Trixie’s pained frown was no illusion. “It doesn’t feel like it. I see how you’re looking at me.”

Starlight bit her lip, but not her tongue. “I’m just—it’s a lot to process.”

“Yeah? Well, how do you think I feel?” Leaning in close, Trixie laid a forehoof on Starlight’s chest. “Don’t you know how much I love you? How long I’ve wanted you?” In spite of everything, Starlight blushed as Trixie looked her up and down. “If there was another way—if I could be—all mare for you, I would, Starlight! I’m not—this isn’t—”

Pulling away, Trixie muttered, “Nevermind. Forget it.”

Drawing her back, Starlight began, “Wait, Trix, don’t—”

“I’m sick of talking about this.” Trixie wiggled out of Starlight’s embrace. She teleported the deck of cards back into her aura. “Here, let me show you how to do that trick. It’s really easy. All you have to do is just—”

One aura slapped another away. The cards fell to the floor.

“Okay, you did not just do that.” Trixie narrowed her eyes. “You can’t be that bitter about one little card trick. And I’m not playing Fifty-Two Pickup.”

“Trixie!” This time, Starlight sought not to hide the distress in her voice, but to impart it. “We have to talk about this! We can’t just—”

“We’ve already been talking about this.” Trixie scowled. “Don’t you think I’ve had enough?”

Starlight flinched. “I’m not trying to—”

“I know what you’re trying to do, Starry.” Trixie gathered the scattered cards and slammed them back in the deck. They magicked away, lost with her other tricks. “You’re not comfortable with this. You’re not comfortable with me. In fact…”

Before Starlight could stop her, Trixie cast the illusion spell with a powerful spark. Applying it appeared to take less effort than removing it. Magic thrummed and pulsed down her body, cloaking everything between her hindlegs into a more familiar shape. One that Starlight could look at without acting like she was about to throw down a smoke bomb and run.

“... There. It’s gone. Forget it, okay?”

Despite Trixie’s contrived conviction, the dismissal tunneled straight through Starlight’s ears to her heart. She averted her gaze, fidgeting, trying to search for the right words. The right way to fight her own façade.

Trixie sighed with an audible finality. “Starlight, we don’t have to have sex. Ever. I’m—fine with that. It’s not a big deal. It’ll be f-fine. I’ll be… f-f-fine...” Chest heaving, Trixie stared down at the floor.

Starlight looked over, wanting to touch her, but unsure if she should.

Then, Trixie added in a whisper, “A-as long as you’ll still have me.”

No words could articulate how fast Starlight pulled Trixie close, kissed her, and assured her that, in spite of everything she’d conveyed to the contrary, she wasn’t going anywhere. That she still loved her.

All of her.

The former was no lie. The latter...

When she left shortly afterward, fumbled goodnights and awkward glances trailing behind, Starlight now had a number for the times she had made Trixie cry.

One.