Sci-Twi’s Time Travel Adventure

by Poniez n Stuff

Rating: mature
Tags: Non-consensual, Equestria Girls, Violence, Sex, Profanity, Gore, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Death, Drama, Original Character, Porn, Fetish, Science Fiction
Length: 2702

Things don’t go as planned when Twilight Sparkle goes back in time to the year 1975. Will she be able to save the future?

In the year 2020, Twilight Sparkle has discovered that the newly emerging Coronavirus vaccine will kill all life on Earth and doom humanity to Hell forever. It is too late to stop it in the present, only by going back in time to the past will she be able to develop a nonlethal vaccine and save humanity. Will she succeed?

Luckily for her, she’s been given a time machine from her future self, but in order to prevent a paradox, she needs to go back in time and create it in the first place. How will Twilight develop time travel all the way back in the year 1975? And will humanity be able to be saved? Find out!!!

Published 2020-12-03 01:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-24 06:57:55 UTC

Holy Shit, Time Tavel!!!

It was December 2020, after the motherfucking COVID-19 pandemic almost killed fucking EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE FOREVER, all seemed to be better in the future. The motherfucking Antichrist, President Donald J. Trump had lost reelection to someone who was about 0.00000000000001% less fucking evil and the COVID vaccine had been approved, with a 95% success rate. Although the universe was almost fucking destroyed forever in the most apocalyptic and deadly year in human history, 2021 was looking so much brighter.

Sci-Twi was in her Zoom class and Cheerilee allowed her to interrupt her lesson to talk about COVID vaccine or what-the-fuck-ever. (She was hungover and didn’t give a shit that Twilight was being a horrible student talking about shit that has nothing to do with the lesson, which was supposed to be about the Byzantine Empire, but nobody gave a shit about that shit, not even nerdy-ass Twilight. Twilight only cared about cure for the Coronavirus AKA known as COVID-19, since it has killed millions and millions of people.)

“Did you girls hear about the motherfucking COVID vaccine?!?!??!!!!?!” Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. “THE WORLD IS SAVED HORRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Yes, darling, it’s really fucking good news that we’ll be able to go back to spitting in each others
mouths again in no time!” Rarity said.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CURE FOR CORONA MAKES ME CUM SO HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Pinkie Pie yelled so loud that everyone in school’s computer speakers broke and they all had to go buy new ones and fifteen of them died from catching the virus at Best Buy.

Twilight sighed, “Yes, this is such great news! I’ve missed seeing you girls in person so, so much! Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that modern technology allows us to communicate over computers, but I have missed seeing you girls face-to-face!” Twilight said, not yet realizing that nobody could hear her because, as mentioned above, Pinkie Pie’s yelling broke all their speakers and headphones.

After class ended, Twilight was like “What a great day! And what great news about that vaccine!!! I’m so glad things will go back to normal soon! I can’t wait to return to the world that gave us our current Hellscape in the first place!!!!!!”

Just then a giant glow of light appeared in her room!!! It blinded Twilight and she fell to the ground. She tried to open her eyes and saw a figure approaching her. “Who... who are you?!” she asked.

The figure came closer and looked like an Equestria Girls version of Future Twilight from the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic episode titled It’s About Time.

“I’m you from the future.” the mysterious Twilight from the future said.

“Me from the future?!” asked past Twilight.

“Yes.” said the one from the future.

“Why have you come here to the year 2020?! This is the worst year you could possibly come to!!! There’s this fucking microscopic death flying around everywhere and millions and millions of people are dying!!!!! There’s so much fucking death that corpses are just rotting in the middle of the road and nobody’s even bothering to move them because we’re all stuck inside our houses and nobody’s making any money and we’re all starving and the only way to communicate with anyone is through the internet and it fucking sucks ass and nobody’s happy and suicides have increased 99% and barely anyone at all is still alive and it fucking sucks!!!!!!!!!!!” Twilight said.

And so Future Twilight told her, “I CAME BACK BECAUSE 2021 IS EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The Future Sucks

“I don’t understand, how can 2021 be any worse than 2020?! Aren’t things getting better?! Joe Biden is President and vaccine coming. That good thing to me.” Twilight questioned and said.

“You dumb CUNT!!!!!!!! BIDEN IS THE SAME AS TRUMP, HOW FUCKING STUPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO THINK THAT POLITICS MAKE ANY FUCKING DIFFERENCE AT ALL?!!?!!?!!!!?!!!! YOU DUMB CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Future Twi said and then grabbed a hammer and bashed Twilight’s fucking face in. When she did, the injury also appeared on her own face, because she was her from the future.

“But anyway, what really is what matters is that that vaccine causes spontaneous combustion and after everyone who’s taken it explodes, their bodies release a toxic gas that destroys all life on Earth. I was the only one who survived, because I’m the smartest and I knew that I could get an extra five seconds of life every time I licked the pussy fluids of someone who was suffocating to death of COVID vaccine explosion gas. I used this extra time to use my time machine to go back one year in the past to the year 2020.” she explained.

Past Twi was all like “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—“ and her jaw dropped and she stayed that way for five hours straight. “TIME MACHINE?!!?!!!??!??!!?!” she yell-asked. “Where the FUCK did I get a time machine?!!?!!?!!?!!!??!!”

“I gave it to myself in the year 2020. And then used it to come back to that very year. How I made it, I do not know. All I know is that you need to go the fuck back in time to create the time machine in the first place or else the entire universe will fucking collapse in on itself from a time paradox, you dumb cunt!!!!!!!!!!” Future Twi abusively yelled at her past-self.

Twilight looked at the time machine. It was an IBM 5100 converted to be able to travel trough time. “Of course!” she yelled. “It all makes sense, only the IBM 5100 has the computing power to take you back in time to the past!!! The computing abilities for it to be able to count so many numbers at a speed so fast that nobody can explain it has stumped computer scientists for all the time since it was created!!! Now I get it!!!!! I need to go back in time to when it was first put on the market and steal my very own copy of it to turn into the time machine!!!”

“But what year is it from?! I forget because of the brain cancer that the year 2021 gave me.” Future Twilight asked.

“A year from before COVID, Trump, Obama, the Iraq War, 9/11, Regan, Super Mario Bros., you, me or even Star Wars, the ancient past of 1975.” Twilight said.

She typed the coordinates into the machine and got ready to go back to 1975.

“Oh wait, there’s one more thing you should know! I’m wearing time travel-proof clothes, but 99% of clothing, including what you’re wearing will disappear through time travel, just like in The Terminator.” Future Twi told her past self.

“I don’t give a shit.” Twilight said.

It’s In The Past

BAAAZAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!!

The machine took Twilight back to the motherfucking past and she was buck-fucking-naked in some random-ass stranger’s house. She used the time machine’s coordinates to find it’s own matter and atoms and shit to be able to track its own self back in the past and locate where it is from. And it turned out that some nerdy-ass computer nerd was the one who owned the computer. He liked it because he was a giant dork that loved computers and shit.

“Oh shit, I just realized I wasn’t tested for COVID before I came back in time!!! I hope I don’t have it!” she said and then immediately ran up to the stranger and coughed in his face and spat on him.

“What the heck?! Who are you?!!!?!!?!! Why are you doing that?! Don’t you know that could spread germs?!?!?!!! Please don’t ever do that again, if there were ever some kind of deadly pandemic going around, that could kill me!!!!” he said. (He was unaware of the 2019/2020 Coronavirus pandemic, because Twilight was now in the year 1975.)

“I NEED YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER TO TURN IT INTO A TIME MACHINE TO SAVE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!” she said and then kicked him in the face with her bare feet.

After noticing that she had no shoes or socks on when she kicked him in the face, that caused him to also realize that she was completely naked. “OH MY GOSH, YOU’RE NAKED IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!??!!!?!??!?!!”

Twilight looked at him. He was some 25-ish year old loser dork. “You’ve never had a naked person in your house before have you?!” she asked.

“No, I’m a good Christian virgin. I don’t even masturbate, I just use my computer to type in 1s and 0s into the files to create codes and programs for fun. It’s a good thing that these computers are not yet advanced enough to display images yet. If they were, the devil might tempt me to pleasure myself. But since that’s not possible, I don’t have to deal with the consequences of sexual lust and just spend all my time praying and computer programing. Maybe one day I’ll meet a woman who’s as big of a nerd as me, then I could finally lose my virginity. But if I am to be a virgin for life who’s never even ejaculated once in his entire life, then so be it. It is not my place to question the will of the almighty.” he said.

“Now please get out of my house, ma’am. You’re nakedness is making my genitalia feel weird. Is this what the guy’s in the office described as a ‘boner’?! I’ve never had one in my entire life before, because my only love is computers, science fiction, The Bible and God. Oh no, please leave before I commit adultery in my heart, just like Jesus strongly warned against!!!!”

“Shut the fuck up, idiot! I’m from the future and everyone and everything is going to fucking DIE unless you give me that computer!!!! I need to turn it into the time machine that I just used in order to prevent a paradox from destroying EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And then once that’s taken care of, I need to invent a cure for COVID that won’t kill everyone like the current ‘cure’ will. I need time travel to invent that, because it will be hard and take time, you stupid fucking idiot!!!!!!”

“Oh my goodness, well, I’m pretty good at problem solving and disease understanding. You want to explain this pandemic thing to me and maybe we can invent the cure together? You’re free to use my computer for anything you need, ma’am.” he told her. She then bitch slapped him and told him to shut the fuck up.

“I got this on my own, faggot!!!” she said.

Sex Happens

Twilight took the computer and through her scientific God-like geniusness, she turned it into a time machine in just five minutes!!!

“Aha! Perfection!!! Now I have prevented the paradox from destroying the universe!!! Now I just need to figure out how to solve Coronavirus.” Twilight said.

She looked at the person’s wall and saw diplomas and awards for epidemiology and disease research. “Wait a minute, you can help me!!!” she said.

“Really?!” He asked.

“Yup.” Twilight said. She then jumped on his cock and began fucking him against his will.

“Stop, what are you doing?! I can’t have sex, we’re not married!!! People who fuck before they’re married go to Hell according to the Bible!!!!!” he screamed.

“That’s a mistranslation.” Twilight told him. “Only men who fuck before they’re married get tortured forever. Women can do whatever the fuck we want!!!”

She fucked him and fucked him and fucked him again!!! He came in her pussy so many times and cried tears of pain the whole way through. “Forgive me God, for I am sinning!!!” he kept calling out, but God had already decided that he’s going to Hell no matter what.

After jizzing in her for the ten thousandth time, he asked her, “How does this save the universe, exactly?!”

Twilight told him “Because, if a child with my biologically superior brain power is born in the past, they’ll know how to solve Corona in the future!!! So I need your fucking seed to give me a child!!!! Your DNA may be shitty and useless, but mine will overpower it and give the universe and devine perfection child!!!!!!!”

After they finished cumming for the billionth time, Twilight took out a gun and stuck it in his mouth. “Time to die!!!” she told him.

“What?! Why are you going to kill me?!!?!?!?!” he asked.

“Because I’ve already gotten your seed and seeing a useless bitch like you die will make me cum once more, ten trillion times harder than all my other orgasms combined!!!!!!” she said. “But because I know you’re a huge nerdy dork...” she said, while modifying the gun with scientific genius, “...I’ll kill you with a laser gun instead of a bullet. Don’t worry, it will hurt infinitely worse!!!”

“Oh one more thing!” she said. He looked up at her, gun in his mouth, tears in his eyes, trembling in fear. “In two years, there will be a really awesome sci-fi movie called Star Wars. I can tell you would’ve loved it and I want to deprive you of that enjoyment.” she said and then fucking killed him.

“Oh thank God, I did that! What is this freak, like 25 years old?! He’d be fucking 70 in my present day!!! I can’t let it be said I fucked a 70 year old, so I had to eliminate him!!!” she said.

She then stayed in the 70s for nine whole months. She had such a fun time watching the old movies in theaters, checking out old technology, meeting celebrities before they were famous, having sex with people during the awesome-ass sexual revolution, making people lick her feet, and taking her future shits in past toilets.

She then gave birth to her daughter in some random field where she left it to be raised by wolves. If she could still grow up to be a super genius despite being in the wild, Twilight would know she properly carried on her legacy and was up to the task of solving COVID.

Joe Biden Intends to Vaccinate 100 Million Americans in His First 100 Days as President

President Joe Biden became President and said that he was gonna vaccinate 100 million people in his first 100 days. Will they all die? To be continued...

The End Again.

Author's Note

Disclaimer: I do not endorse IRL vaccine conspiracy theories and will get the shot as soon as possible, but I’m too young and healthy as fuck to get it yet.

Unvaccinated People Die

In a shocking twist, only the dumbasses that refused to be vaccinated ended up dying for an unknown reason. Congrats to Twilight’s Daughter for saving some but not all people.

But also, since she’s evil, Corona Curer went back in time and invented the video game Polybius, which created the concept of death, via time alteration magical technological, as well as through alternate dimensional mergers and Death Creation technology. Originally, Corona Vaccine stopped all death past, present and future, but Polybius caused all life to die eventually. Will all life go to Hell when it dies? Stay tuned...

The End.

The End (for Humanity or COVID?!)

And so, Twilight Sparkle came back to the year 2020. She saw her super genius daughter on TV, who was now older then her own mom because of time travel insanity. Her daughter’s name was Corona Curer. All the major vaccine manufacturer people of the world came to her and asked “Is it true that you were brought into this would to save humanity with the COVID vaccine?!”

Corona Curer told them “My vaccine has been approved by Boris Johnson to be used in the UK as early as next week. So just wait and we’ll find fucking out if it was true or not!!!!”

Twilight noticed that her daughter was really sexy, despite being 45 years old when Twilight is only 18. She immediately began fingering herself to her while watching her on the TV.

The End?! (Whatever happens in the real world in relation to COVID is the canon ending to this story. Will we all die or will we all be saved?! Only time will tell!!!!!)