Sunset's Suicide Problem

by dawnbreez

Rating: teen
Tags: Thriller, Gore, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Suicide / Self Harm, Sunset Shimmer, Dark
Length: 1163

Sunset woke up this morning with bruises on her neck. She's getting more than a little tired of it.

Sunset has a problem. It's a problem she's had since she was little, in a sense. She always felt like something was simply not right about her life, something that she can't put her finger on--that nags and pokes and teases at the back of her mind, until it drives her mad.

It's not that she wants to kill herself, really. It's just that it keeps happening, always at the most inconvenient times and in the most inconvenient ways.

Tagged with "self harm" even though technically Sunset isn't hurting herself, Sunset is hurting Sunset. Wait, does that count?

Published 2020-12-03 13:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-03 13:00:01 UTC

1. Putting the Pieces Together

Sunset groaned as she sat up, rubbing her head. Her body felt like it had been through a tumble-dryer, everything sore and sweaty. The sheets were a mess, but mercifully, they were drier than she was.

She reached up to her neck, and glanced across the room, at a armoire she had been using since she was 12. In the mirror, she saw ugly purple bruises running circles around her throat.

"Huh. Been a while since that happened."

Normally, cleaning up was a trivial task--blood is a pain to wash out of sheets, but it washed off of skin pretty easily, and she preferred taking showers in the morning anyway. Normally, she could go to class without having to do any kind of complicated makeup work. Normally, she'd have at least twenty or thirty minutes free before even factoring the shower in, because Sunset had long ago learned to leave herself some extra time for these sorts of things. Normally, Sunset doesn't sleep in.

She glanced at her phone, which had two 'missed alarm' notifications and a message from her mom about leaving for work. "Aw, crap."

She was used to people whispering to each other as she walked down the hall. Heck, she was used to people staring. Once upon a time, she enjoyed being the center of attention--nothing feels so powerful to a high-schooler than seeing all the other high-schoolers hide behind each other. Then, for a while after The Incident, she wanted as little to do with that attention as possible.

These days she just kind of groaned and carried on.

Pushing open the door to 1st period chemistry with Ms. Heartstrings, Sunset quietly walked--across the entire room--to the one chair that hadn't been taken. Luckily, it was right next to several of her friends.

Pinkie, Applejack, and Rarity were all at this table; Rainbow and Fluttershy were at the next, already fidgeting as they tried to hash out which parts of the labwork would be whose responsibility. All five stopped and stared at Sunset the moment she sat down.

Ms. Heartstrings cleared her throat. The class went about their business.

"...So," Pinkie said. "You, uh, okay there--"

"Yes."

"Did y'all--"

"No," Sunset said, staring at Applejack. "I've been over this three times in the past week, AJ."

"And y'all been comin' to school with scars all up an' down yer arms three times in the past week," Applejack said, pointing a well-intentioned but accusatory finger at Sunset. "It's been gettin' worse, Sunset. Y'all been showin' up with more an' more kinds o' hurt on ya. An' now y'all clearly went and tried a noose. Ah know yew ain't lyin', but Ah know somethin's goin' on."

Rarity laid a hand on AJ's shoulder, and they locked eyes with each other. Whatever internal argument they were having, Rarity won, and AJ crossed her arms while Rarity turned back to Sunset. "Dear, we're just worried. You've said that it's not you who's hurting you, but you haven't said who is hurting you."

"It's not your problem, it's mine. And if I tried to explain it, it'd just make things harder."

"C'mon, Sunny. We got your back! Isn't that right, girls?" Pinkie, Rarity, and Applejack all nodded solemnly. Nothing mattered more to them than supporting each other through these trying times.

It only made Sunset more livid to see it--to know that they were so desperate to help her, even though they'd likely never understand.

"You know what? Fine. We'll all meet back at my place tonight--all seven of us."

"Ohmigosh--you're bringing Twi along!?" Pinkie gasped.

"It's about that time of the month," Sunset said. "Normally she wouldn't visit until tomorrow, so we'd have the whole weekend, but I think I can call in an emergency meeting."

The rest of the day passed almost completely uneventfully. Sunset had already made arrangements with Principal Celestia and VP Luna--the scarring and the occasional bloody mess had gotten their attention early on, but they had an Understanding, and this Understanding was crucial to keeping things moving on days like this. There was a mild hiccup at lunch, when Sunset sat down at the wrong table, even though they had all walked to the right table together, but she chalked it up to nerves.

Right now, she just needed to explain the mess she was in. Everyone was piled onto her bed--she thanked her lucky stars that today had been hanging and not a slit throat--and Sunset was standing in front of the armoire, with an impromptu diagram of sticky notes arranged on the mirror.

"So. You know how I said it's not me who's doing this to me?"

The girls all nodded. Twi scribbled something down in her notebook--which was already filled with notes after the briefing Sunset had given on the symptoms of her condition.

"Well...that's not exactly true."

"Now hold on just a minute," AJ said, rubbing her chin. "Ah know what Ah asked ya in first period today, and Ah know you were tellin' the truth then. So how come Ah know you're tellin' the truth now?"

"Because it is me, but it's not me."

"Now Ah know y'all's messin' with me."

"Look, it's like this. There's other universes out there, right?" Sunset watched as a wave of slow nods passed through her little audience. "So that means there's other Sunsets, right?" Another wave of slow nods.

Sunset pointed to one of her sticky notes, helpfully labeled OTHER SUNSET. "So, one of these other Sunsets is having a rough time. She doesn't get the support she needs. She hangs herself..."

Sunset drew a line with her finger to the sticky note labeled ME. "And I wake up with bruises on my neck."

Twilight hummed to herself. "That sounds like something I read about once. It was called the Hussie convergence theorem--"

"Did you just call me a--"

"No, no, Hussie was the name of the guy who figured it out."

"Oh. Go on."

"Well," Twilight muttered. "According to the HCT, some events 'resonate' across multiple universes, and end up happening at the same 'time' across many timelines. The stronger the resonance, the more often it happens."

"Then I guess I should mention that I've been waking up in a pool of my own blood every day for a month."

Everyone paused for a moment.

"...okay, I know someone's thinking of making that joke. Don't."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"If this is a case of Hussie convergence," Twilight said, "this is the perfect opportunity to test one of my theories. You see, I think the Hussie convergence effect is evidence of something outside our universe, guiding the timeline and changing things to suit its purposes."

"Are you telling me God wants me to kill myself?" Sunset said.

"No, it's not God. If my theory is correct...this would have to be the work of..."

Twilight turned and looked right at the fourth wall. "Fanfic authors."