''Applejack, why are you a cake?''
''Applejack, why are you a cake?''
''Fer the last time, Rainbow Dash, Ah don' know!'' Applejack said to the very perplexed cyan pegasus in front of her. Rainbow Dash was suddenly much bigger than her. That would have scared her normally, but right now she was too focused on being desperate for answers to care about being towered over by her friendly rival.
''Yeah, you look really good,'' Pinkie Pie added her own opinion, noticeably licking her lips at the sight of Applejack. Or, at least, what was supposed to be Applejack. To the sweet-toothed bubbly pink mare, she looked like an absolute dream of sugar!
Applejack was on the dining table in the Apple Family's farmhouse kitchen, set on a white plate. She was a double-layered cake with buttercream filling, bright orange icing and buttercream decorative icing dotted around the circumference of her bottom and top. Resting partially on top of her head was her signature cowgirl hat, way too big for her now.
''Not helpin', Pinkie! An' don' you dare think 'bout eatin' me!'' She warned her friend in a snappy tone, understandably terrified of the lip-licking the pink mare was giving her with desire glimmering in her bright blue eyes.
''Awwww....'' Pinkie groaned and deflated in disappointment. ''But I thought we were friends!''
''The cake IS your friend!''
''You're a liar!'' Pinkie Pie shouted back, to which Applejack almost screamed in frustration.
''Don' let her eat me, Dash!'' Applejack demanded Rainbow Dash, who pushed back Pinkie Pie with her hooves, pushing her back away from Applejack and causing her to glide effortlessly on the kitchen floor, her eyes sad and wide and lips pouting.
''Alright, alright, she's gone! Now, can we get back to why you're a cake PLEASE?!'' Rainbow asked impatiently, staring at the orange mass of sugar in front of her. ''...To be fair, you do look pretty delicious,'' She said, observing her buttercream icing and contemplating dabbing her hooves in it to give it a lick.
''Oh, no ya don'!'' Applejack stopped her before she could attempt licking her.
''Pfft, you're no fun,'' Dash rolled her eyes. ''Anyway, deliciousness aside, what happened to you? Of all the things, I'd figure you'd turn into an apple rather than a cake! Or are you an apple flavoured cake? Maybe I can...'' Dash raised her hoof and stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth as she delicately and slowly raised it above AppleCake.
''Hey, HEY!'' Applejack snapped. ''WOULD EVERYPONY STOP TRYIN' TA EAT ME?!''
''Sorry, sorry!'' Dash apologies, quickly retracting her hoof and blushing in embarrassment. ''Really, I'm sorry, AJ. So, what happened to you? Like, what did you do today?''
''Well, Ah...Ah went inta the Everfree Forest ta gather some supplies from Zecora,'' Applejack began. ''Ah needed ta get some nutrients for our apple trees ta grow stronger an' produce more apples. So when Ah asked her if she had anythin' that might help, she told me she didn't an' Ah got inta a bit of an argument about potions and witchcraft an'...that's about it, really.'' Applejack finished her story and Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin thoughtfully.
''That's all you said?'' Rainbow said doubtfully. ''I find it hard to believe that you'd leave Zecora's hut and get back here as a cake, so there must be something else you're leaving out,'' She said. ''Pinkie!'' Dash called over her shoulder. There was no answer.
Pinkie Pie never answered nor appeared. Dash blinked, confused and began glancing around for her, but caught no sight of her. Confused by her absence, Rainbow Dash quickly checked out the living room, still finding no trace, and came back into the kitchen, where she gasped upon seeing Pinkie Pie directly above the dining table, hovering above Applejack.
Pinkie Pie was wearing a full black skin-tight onesie with a pair of green nightvision goggles (even though it was daytime) and she was hanging from the ceiling by a harness wrapped around her waist. She was expertly trying to sneak a slice of AppleCake while Dash's back was turned. She had a large knife at the ready, her tongue lolling out of her mouth in concentration while she was holding back her drool.
''PINKIE!'' Dash yelled. ''Put that knife down!''
''Oh, for...! I was SO close!'' Pinkie whined. She dropped the knife and it landed directly into the table, the sharp blade digging into the wood and leaving the handle facing up. She quickly nabbed up Applejack's Stetson. ''I'm keeping the hat!''
''HEY! Gimme ma pa's hat back!'' Applejack retaliated, unable to fend her sticky hooves away before it was too late. If Applejack still had her hooves, it would be guaranteed that touching her hat would result in the most epic hoof fights known to Equestrian kind. Everypony knew that getting into a fight with AJ ended spectacularly.
''Noop, finder's keeper's!'' Pinkie sing-songed. ''I guess that makes me the Applejack of our group now!'' Pinkie then put the hat on and pretended to be Applejack, pulling off her best imitation. ''Howdy, Dash, why, Ah sure do fancy ya! Come 'ere an' let Applejack give ya a big 'ol kiss!''
''Pinkie Pie, enough!'' Rainbow snapped, now becoming red in the face both from embarrassment and from rising anger. ''Pinkie, if you want to help, do something useful and go see Zecora to see if she can make an antidote or something to turn Applejack back to normal!'' She pointed a hoof stiffly at the rear exit of the kitchen, face stern and not giving Pinkie Pie a chance to respond before she yelled, ''GO!''
''Jeez, tough crowd,'' Pinkie mumbled to herself. ''Somepony's got her feathers in a twist.''
''Thank you, Dash,'' Applejack sighed heavily in relief. ''Ah was sure I was a goner then. Being a cake is so terrifyin' when y'all're 'round Pinkie!''
''I wouldn't know, Applejack, but I believe you,'' Rainbow said with a sigh of her own. ''I'd imagine being anything sugary around Pinkie would be scary, y'know, providing the food is alive and is capable of fear,'' She said with a smirk.
''Well, Ah'm glad y'all can find new ways to laugh at mah own expense,'' She had a scowl in her voice. ''Let's jus' hope Zecora gets here before somepony eats me.''
About five minutes had passed before Pinkie Pie came back from Zecora's hut, literally zooming into the kitchen at super-sonic speed and coming to a halt directly in front of Applejack. She stopped on the spot with a smile on her face, still wearing Applejack's Stetson and she held up, presented on the bottom of her hoof, a small bottle with a sickly green liquid inside of it.
''Zecora told me you were a real meany-mean pants and deserved to become a cake to see how you like it, but she still agreed to make you this antidote if you promise to not insult her heritage anymore,'' Pinkie Pie said simply.
''Excuse me? Why in the hay would Ah apologise for calling her a fruit cake?!'' Applejack replied, infuriated. ''Why, Ah can hardly understan' half the nutty stuff she flaps out o' her gums half th' time!''
''Wait, that's why she turned you into a cake? Because you insulted her by calling her a fruit cake?'' Rainbow Dash questioned, snickering behind her hoof, finding that to be hilarious apparently. She imagined Applejack would blush if she still had cheeks.
''Yes,'' Applejack grumbled.
''She was really offended, you know,'' Pinkie Pie said. ''She was reluctant to give me this yucky syrupy stuff to turn you back, but she agreed because she thinks you learned your lesson!''
''Yeah, so now that all's well an' good, do ya mind actually changin' me back?!" Applejack snapped impatiently.
''But...you don't have a mouth, so how am I supposed to---''
''JUS' POUR IT ON ME, YA STUPID MARE!''
''Ah! Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a twist! Jeez...'' Pinkie flinched at her tone but pulled out the cork in the neck of the small bottle and poured the liquid all over the top of Applejack.
The liquid soaked into the neon orange icing almost immediately and turned it into an off-grey-ish colour before it bubbled and emitted a gentle sizzling sound. The bubbles began to grow in size and sizzle more intensely at a dramatically increasing rate before the entire cake shook and morphed back into the shape of a pony.
Applejack's hooves and legs once again formed out of the orange mass and the sizzling stopped once she had fully re-materialised right in front of Rainbow and Pinkie, who stared at her with astonished looks. Applejack appeared dizzy and woozy at first as the effects of the magic began to wear off and she rubbed her temple tenderly with a hoof.
''Applejack, you're back!'' Rainbow Dash said gladly.
''Aw, but she looked so delicious before...'' Pinkie frowned, but Dash nudged her to shut her up.
''Phew, well, Ah'm glad that I'm a pony again!'' Applejack said gladfully, checking that she had all of her hooves back. She grew pale and her eyes shrank when she peered down at where her left rear hoof used to be, finding it to be missing. She screamed in horror and gazed over to Pinkie and Dash with mortified eyes. ''Where's mah hoof?!''
''Okay, so maybe there's a possibility that I took a bite out of you when I was leaving for Zecora's hut...'' Pinkie said, and it was then that Applejack noticed the neon green icing and crumbs around her muzzle.
''PINKIE PIE!'' She roared, hobbling after her.
Rainbow Dash couldn't stop laughing.
Author's Note
I don't know where this one came from exactly, but I owe some of the inspiration to this video by Tomska -
