“Alright gents; are you ready to embark into the world of Spiketopia and enter the game of Ogres and Oubliettes?'' asked Spike to his two friends, Big Mac and Discord.
“Yep!” exclaimed Big Mac, letting out a delightful whinny as he clapped his forehooves together.
“Yeah yeah...I’m ready. Let’s just get on with it,” replied Discord, letting out a sigh.
“Alright. Let the game begin!” Spike declared boldly, and just like that it was Discord’s cue to use his chaos magic to take them into the world of Spiketopia, where Spike became Garbunkle and Big Mac became his character, Sir Mcbiggin. And of course, not forgetting Discord as Captain Wuzz.
“Alright, it says here there’s a shortcut to the Squizard’s castle, which means we can find Lady Sparity all the faster,” explained Spike looking over the map of the world. The world of Spiketopia was large and vast. Garbunkle knew that the Squizard was always watching, and just waiting for his chance to surprise them. But, Garbunkle was determined to save Sparity from the clutches of evil, and finally defeat the mighty Squizard once and for all! Of course he would be relying on the help of Sir Mcbiggun and Captain Wazz to help him. It was always good to have friends by your side, it made the adventure all the more enjoyable.
“Pfft, if I had my chaos powers we could just simply be there in an instant,” groaned Discord, sighing.
“Discord you know that wouldn’t be any fun. There’d be no challenge in just simply using your powers to cheat the game,” retorted Garbunkle. “Besides, think of it like an adventure. There’s nothing we can’t do as long as we work together. Isn’t that right, Sir Biggun?”
“Yep!” replied Sir Biggun as he pointed out the path Garbunkle had found on the map. The two of them headed into the mountain pass, with Captain Wuzz behind them.
Captain Wuzz rolled his eyes. “Walking is just so boring. Can’t we at least fly there?” asked Captain Wuzz.
“Where’s your spirit Captain Wuzz? Think of all the things we’ll discover by enjoying the beauty of nature.”
Captain Wuzz rolled his eyes. Beauty? What beauty? There was nothing but mountain terrain to each side of them, and they were embarking through it as a shortcut. Wouldn’t it have been faster to just fly over the mountain? He shook his head.
“Idiots, both of you, but I’ll play along for your sakes.”
The three of them traveled deeper into the mountain pass. To each side of them was the giant wall of rocks that formed the mountains. They could barely see the sky from deep down below. Garbunkle and Sir Mcbiggun led the way, while Captain Wuzz continued to hold up the rear. It was tranquil and serene. The wind whipped through the pass, and made them hold onto their hats.
Suddenly there was this bad odor passing through the valley as they walked further into the pass. Garbunkle covered his muzzle in disgust, and used his staff to put up a spell around them to help repel it.
“What is that awful smell?” asked Garbunkle to his friends.
“Not me. I swear I had nothing to do with it,” spoke Captain Wuzz defensively.
“Hmm...well let’s just try to get through here as quickly as we can,” spoke Garbunkle.
The smell continued to get worse the further and deeper into the pass they traversed. Garbunkle was attempting to block them from the majority of the odor with a shield, but he knew eventually he would tire and would have to release his spell.
He held it up as long as he could, before falling down onto his knees, his staff laying in front of him, as he stared up at what appeared to be a giant dragon!
“Woah, careful everyone. We don’t want to wake him up. Dragons are awfully grumbly about their sleep,” explained Garbunkle.
“Is that why you are always so sour when Twilight wakes you up from your naps for friendship problems?” asked Captain Wuzz, with a suggestive smirk raising upon his lips.
“Awwh. Come on Discord. I mean Captain Wuzz, cut it out. We’re all here to have fun, not to mock one another,” retorted Garbunkle, sneering back at him. The two stared at one another, glaring as Sir Mcbiggunspoke up.
“Now, you two. Both of yall need to knock it off. Ya’know we are all friends, and this is just a game. There ain’t no reason to act like foals,” spoke Sir Mcbiggun with a rigour in his deep tone.
The dragon began to stir and opened up it’s yellow slited eyes. The dragon stared at the tiny things that were bickering around his territory. His home. He lifted a single clawed talon and picked the three intruders up with ease. He barely needed to lift even a muscle, as he held them right to eye level, as his booming voice spoke.
“Who are you, and why are you here?” he asked them. He noticed the one was a mage, the one a paladin, and the other an archer. To him, they were measly snacks that wouldn’t even begin to satisfy the hunger within his belly.
Garbunkle spoke up, urging the other two to remain silent. As a dragon himself, maybe he could get them through this without anything bad happening. If he was lucky.
“I am Garbunkle sir, and these are my comrades Sir Mcbiggun and Captain Wuzz. We were just using this pass through the mountains as a shortcut to get to the Squizard’s castle more swiftly. We didn’t mean to wake you up. I apologize sincerely. If you would just allow us to pass, we will be out of here before you even know it,” explained Garbunkle, sweat drops beginning to pour down his cheeks as he gulped. There was no guarantee of what the dragon might do as punishment for them waking him up. He could only hope that they were successful with persuading him to let them pass without harm.
The dragon hesitated before he spoke up, his voice rumbling, letting out a low growl of disconcert about their predicament.
“You think I care why you woke me up? It’s the simple fact you disturbed my slumber. I will have you know I wasn’t supposed to awake for about one hundred more moons, and you have the audacity to think I’d just let you pass? Think again, adventurers. This will be your end,” the dragon snarled, as he tightened his grip around them to prevent them from making some desperate attempt to save themselves from his wrath.
Spike desperately tried to lift his staff to cast a spell to teleport them to safety. It was already too late though, as the dragon swallowed the three of them without any pause. The three of them screamed out in terror as they began to fall down the dragon’s throat, and into his belly.
“Ugh! How did we get into this mess?” asked Spike to the other two.
“Hmm let’s see...take the shortcut he says. It’ll be fine, he says. Well look what happened now. What are you going to do, oh wise and mighty Garbunkle?” asked Discord crossing his arms across his chest, and trying to avoid the guts and who knows what else that was floating down the dragon’s stomach into his digestive system. The whole place smelled and reeked of death, blood, and guts. Not to mention the sight of seeing other poor souls who made the same mistake they had. There just had to be a way out of this, or his name wasn’t Discord, Lord of Chaos.
“Guys!” shouted Sir Mcbiggun. “Listen, I know it ain’t what any of us wanted, but we’re here now. We gotta stick together or we’ll fall apart like those poor ponies.” he pointed to the skeletons that were slowly falling down into what looked like a vast empty darkness, and the smell oozing from over there was even worse then the odor they were currently dealing with.
Discord and Spike both turned to look at Big Mac, and for a split second they forgot about the game, and realized Big Mac was right.
“Sorry, Sir Mcbiggun. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment. And yeah, I am sorry to you too, Discord. I never should have suggested this in the first place.”
“It’s about time you admit your faults, mr. Garbunkle.” sneered Captain Wuzz sticking out his tongue.
“Captain Wuzz…” Sir Mcbiggun’s voice boomed with a raise of his eyebrow.
“What? Oh I’m supposed to apologize?” asked Captain Wuzz with a snort. Why should I apologize I’m not the one who got us into this mess.
Sir Mcbiggun continued to stare at Captain Wuzz, unaware part of the gunk floating down the river of whatever remains the dragon had swallowed before scraping against the back of his hindlegs. It caused him to yelp out in terror, as he felt this burning sensation all through his entire body. He leaped over into Garbunkle’s arms, who was barely able to even catch the mighty Sir Mcbiggun.
“Captain Wuzz!” shouted Garbunkle carefully putting Sir Mcbiggun back onto his feet. He couldn’t help noting the look of fear spreading across Sir Mcbiggun’s face. If he was scared, that wasnt’ a good sign for any of them.
“Yes, that’s my name! Must you repeat it over and over again?” asked Discord with a slight sneer. “Ugh.”
“Can’t you do something to get us out of here?” asked Garbunkle as he stepped back to avoid the gunk that was floating through the stomach of the dragon. The smell was getting worse by the second, and he was feeling woozy, and finding it more difficult to focus.
“What do you expect me to do? It’s not like I can simply demand the dragon to release us. I don’t think he’s going to listen to reason. And my arrows couldn’t even damage the inner parts of his scales. Face it, we’re trapped inside this beast with no way out!” exclaimed Discord, making a pen and paper appear.
“Dear Fluttershy...this might be my last note to you.”
Garbunkle took the note and threw it into the gunk that was floating down deeper into the dragon’s digestive system.
“Come on, Discord! I mean Captain Wuzz. You’re the Lord of Chaos. Surely you can think of some way to get us out of this mess,” shouted Garbunkle, putting a clawed talon to his forehead and shaking his head.
“Yep!...If anyone can get us out of here, it’s you!” said Sir Mcbiggun, with a mighty boom in his voice.
“Pfft. Do you really think I can just poof us out of here like it was nothing? I’ll have you know chaos magic doesn’t really work when you are inside of a living creature in another dimension,” sighed Discord, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe they didn’t know. But he then remembered he was working with Twilight’s assistant, and the farmhand who was mostly muscle.
“Come on, Captain Wuzz, you’ve got to have some idea.” Spike groaned, really wishing he had some idea right about now. He was starting to lose focus, and his vision was beginning to get blurry that he could just hardly make out Discord and Big Mac were there.
“Oh so now I’m supposed to be the hero?” asked Discord with a disgruntled snort. All the mocking, and the teasings, anxiety, now they desperately needed him.
“Yep. It’s time you step up and prove yourself a valued member of our team. Unless...you ain’t got what it takes,” spoke Sir Mcbiggun, giving Captain Wuzz a glare, as he caught Garbunkle just as he passed out from the fumes around them. The odors were getting to him too, but not as bad. He had to deal with rotten apples from time to time on the farm, and this was sorta like that. Just a lot more foul and very murky, and it wasn’t really possible to tell what things were. Only that they were clearly long past the day of the light. They had to get out of here. Sugar Belle was counting on him. They had to find a way out.
“I already told you my chaos magic won’t work here. If I could simply snap us out of here, why wouldn’t I have done it?” asked Captain Wuzz to Sir Mcbiggun.
“I reckon I ain’t know what ya think in that mind of yours. But if we don’t get out of here real soon, the three of us are going to end up like those ponies.” explained Sir Mcbiggun, shivering with fear, at the thought of never seeing Sugar Belle again.
Never being able to do another harvest, never getting to be there for his sisters. Everything felt so real, like the game was reality, and for a moment, he felt truly and utterly lost, as he trembled.
Captain Wuzz looked to Sir Mcbiggun and towards Garbunkle as well. If not for the two of them, he never would have discovered how much he loved this game. Even if it was silly at times, it was a lot of fun too. He then looked to Sir Mcbiggun.
He knew his chaos magic wouldn’t work inside the game, but outside of it, he had full control over dimensions and beyond. There was one way out, but he wasn’t sure Sir Mcbiggun was going to like it.
“There’s a way out, but I’m afraid you might not like what I tell you.” began Captain Wuzz.
Sir Mcbiggun nodded his head, and waited for him to finish what he was going to say.
“There is one way out I can think of. And it’s not the way we came in. It’s...well. We have to go out the back door.” explained Captain Wuzz.
“Back door? What the buck are ya talking about?” asked Sir Mcbiggun. Then it hit him. “Oh...well Gosh darn it, why didn’t ya say so before!”
“Well it’s kind of a shitty ending don’t you think?” asked Discord with a subtle wink towards the fourth wall. This was all just fun and games right?
