Author's Note

It's just a placeholder. I swear.

You'll know what I'm talking about when you see it, trust me.

but of course i'll go over it. what kinda slob do you think i am? i took out most of the harsher foul language!

Her Golden Pools

To be young and in love, as they say. No greater feeling in the world. To those who'd said that, yes. Yes it is. To those who'd disagree, you're wrong because obviously you haven't eaten a good pie.

Especially an Apple family dutch apple pie. That's right, I went there, and I will continue to go there because I am the luckiest human alive. I—wait for it—get free. Pie. Booya!

How? Easy, I'm friends with the Apple family! Well Applejack, Big Mac, and Applebloom. More particularly Applebloom. Applejack always looks at me sour whenever I talk with her sister. I snort. She's still cool, but... she's a sour apple, alright. I never said that. Anyway, how does being friends with two, potentially three very influential ponies in Ponyville score one, free pie? Doubly easy!

I, ah, I have to work for it like everyone else, but–buuuut, it's still technically free. Pie. I definitely count that as a win in my book!

I practically drool at the mouth as my hungry eyes take in the object of my desires. Maybe just a bite? My mouth, in its own right a water spout, smacks its lips almost starvingly as I stare at the tart dessert from behind the stall.

God, I want that pie.

A trembling hand reaches towards the delectable goodness only to be swatted away by an orange hoof. Soft, emerald eyes glower down at me as I pull out the oldest trick in the book; the oft futile attempt at instant puppy-dogging.

The girls here used it evilly.

Sadly, I'm to have no such luck. Applejack, pulling down her Stetson–albeit a total cartoon knock-off, she rolls her eyes with a chuckle. "Aw shucks, Sugarcube. Y'all know that there pah s'fer the customers," she states with a friendly smile.

I mentally flick her the finger. "While, yes, true," I try and retort as I raise my index instead, but she'll have none of it. She puts the overly sized hat atop my head, its dip falling easily over my nose. Applejack applegiggles again and I lift the trim of her hat upward–I glare at her, but she giggles all the more.

Man, even in a world of talking girly horses, I'm still treated like a kid. I'm thirteen, people! I release a sigh and finally laugh upwards at the older mare. "Yeah, yeah. Okay," I nod my head as my attention returns to the front of the stand. Despite my utmost boredom, "I'll make sure only customers'll touch that pie, boss!" I clap my hands against the hard wood, drumming a senseless beat.

Goddammit, John motherfricken' Henry Bonham. Dad's taste in music is so good, I'm embarrassing myself.

A quick bark of laughter, "if'n it's still there by the end'a the day, y'all cin take it home," and I mentally image the old man. I smile a sad smile, the corners of my lips barely tug downward this time. Applejack doesn't notice. Applejack only laughs as I try and drum a tune I don't even remember, "hyuk-hyuk!" Her hoof perches atop my head for a second before she replaces her Stetson on its rightful owner. Her other hoof ruffles my hair and I groan as she and I both notice the lunch rush start up. Her eyes scan the coming, small crowd of horses as they enter into the marketplace.

Mint Horse!

"Hi-la Lyra~!" I wave to my favourite mint coloured horse. I wriggle my eyebrows like dad taught me. Lyra giggles into her hoof as she waves back and all is right in the world. Until I see her, that is.

Applebloom—of course Applejack's little sister—in tow of two other familiar fillies.

School must have been getting out early? Sucks I didn't have to deal with knowledge no more, what with being a human and all. Something about how I might scare the other kids or something. Makes me sad. Kind of miss the interaction with people–er, ponies my age.

I don't know if Applejack thought I was staring at her sister or if her sister was staring at me. Golden, auburn eyes widen as they catch mine; a shrill shout of triumphant joy sounds soon after. For whatever reason.

"Ah knew mah boyfriend was workin' today!" The light yellow filly giggles, testing the word on her tongue. I can't hear spit. Not from here, anyway.

The trio of the touch-shorter horses approach the stall with much more revitalizing vigor. For whatever reason, again. Couldn't possibly be to talk with Applejack, she's so boring. Either way, neither reason in my head sounds too pleasing to my mental ears.

No, definitely not pleasing either or. I look up at Applejack, the elder sister casting a sideways long glance, an eyebrow raised in my direction as she faces towards her younger sister and friends. I sigh, knowing full well I'm getting an ear-bashing later no matter what I do.

I'm well aware of the filly's crush on me, very well aware of it actually. Especially if her attempt at asking me to be her plus one to horsecoming last week—I forgot the actual name, sue me—was anything to go by.

Only natural to say no, right? They thought I was joking, the Apples.

Oh, dear God did they think I was joking.

I was literally dragged against my will to have delivered and danced with Applebloom at horsecoming. I was professionally fitted! Her hoof was–if I had half the dirty mind my brother did, well, I'd find my sudowoo-... psoo... pseudo? Pseudo what? Whatever, I forgot where I was even going with that one! Still pisses me off, whatever it is.

All I know is, it was against my will. Don't believe what anyone else tells you!

Applejack swiftly had a conversation with me after that either way, much to Applebloom's chagrin at the time. Much to mine, later. Something something, age, blah blah blah, you're all grown up, yada yada. Yeah, I was there when they had that talk. I don't know why I was there, I don't know why they talked about it with me!

Made it out to sound like I was her boyfriend or whatever.

Yes, these horses are all cute and all, but come on, they don't really expect me to date a horse, do they? I mean, not that I wouldn't date Applebloom. Shit, she's totally dateable actually, like, easily the single most eligible bachelorette this side of Equestria! Her honey-tongued drawl is extremely endearing if I was honest. Hell, if I were honest, her–man, her everything is endearing. Her little stutter mid-sentence whenever she spoke; how she pushes herself forward no matter how many people try to stop her, her puffy-pink hair... bow/band? And her eyes. God, don't even get me started on her eyes.

Yep, definitely dateable.

I do not have a crush on Applejack's sister, I swear. Not that I'd ever tell her that or her sister, for the matter. Couldn't even ask a girl out on Earth before I died, let alone have a crush on one.

I'm a thirteen-year-old kissless virgin and I'm gonna level up into a level eighty-three wizard by the time I'm an adult. I mentally cry in my hands at the prospect. Yep, just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.

I may be young, but hey, I know that line at least. It's a line, right? Am I confusing movies with Abraham Lincoln quotes? I mean, not that I would know or anything, what with being a COVID-19 victim/survivor and all. Schooling wasn't a thing for me at home for the last three years! There is no doubt of my stupidity, but damn.

Three years ago I was there, two years I was here, yeah, about right. So five years of no smartness increase! Wooh for dull minds! Anyway, yes, it'd been that long since I'd made friends with anyone my own age.

However, speaking of comradery, friendship, and the whole shebang. Applebloom and friends finally arrive at the stall, and where there was once blissful silence, came three voices blended into one. "Hiya~!/Yo~!/Ex-excelsior, Sir Boyfriend~!"

And I stare blankly at the two and a half idiots in front of me. Me, being two years older than these kids, have every right to call them that! For some reason, Applejack glares at me with her sisterly-senses, her Ah'm-gonna-kill-you-boah-if'n-yer-thinkin'-anythin'-untoward look.

I wasn't! I was just mentalling calling your sister and her friends a bunch of idi–

Applejack's Stetson swacks against my cranium for no reason. "Ow! What was that for?" I glare up at her, the mare's emerald eyes–pools of mirth as she stares back.

"Yer fergettin' t'say something' back, sweetie," she speaks in an almost motherly tone and I feel weird.

Sweetie Belle, one of Applebloom's friends tilts her head as she looks at the older Apple. "Say what?"

Green eyes meet, well, green and a soft chuckle erupts from the older mare. "Nothin' Sweetie, hyek-hyek." She chortles as her attention attentively returns to me, "jes' tryna teach a foal some manners."

I cross my arms over my chest. I will not say hi to someone without my consent. Applejack's glare on me hardens and I groan again. "Hi, nerds."

Another swift swack of her hat and I jokingly punch her in her... horse shoulder–I'm not an equine scientist, okay. I roll my eyes and proceed to 'wave' at the three. No one knows my middle finger's an insu-

A third swack and I swear to God I am going to steal that mare's hat and burn it.

I actually wave at the three best friends that anybody could have and Applejack finally smiles kindly at me again.

I am so burning her hat.

That sounds like the best idea I have ever come up with. Now, a plan to go along with that idea! You evil genius, me! I smack my lips once as I stare blankly forward, imaging all of the ways to dispose of Applehat's apple hat that gives her her apple powers of pure apple B.S.

Applejack looks between her younger sister and me, confusion clear across her face. Applebloom giggles as she nudges her head towards me, "he monologues sometimes, h-he sometimes forgets where he even is too. Almost reminds me'a Granny! It's-it's one'a the reasons wh-why I think I-"

"Hey guys, what's up?" I politely ask, brought from my stupor just in time to interrupt something. Don't know what it was, but hopefully nothing important. Casting a nervous glance at the oldest person-pony-whateverimyounggimmeabreak here, my stare returns to Applebloom. Who, much against my sudden behest after greeting her and her friends, made to jump clear through the stall.

She does so perfectly as I stare deeply into her encroaching, approaching, hurdling like a pair of beautiful bullet eyes, her forehooves wide out and open. Her end of an embrace.

Aiming at me.

Dear God, I'm gonna die.

Her form crashes into mine with such an unpleasant crack, I'm pretty sure that a rib of mine snapped immediately upon impact. Or I'm being a tad overdramatic. Either way, it. Fudging. Hurted.

The imaginary dust settles and I'm caught in the trap. Her glistening, glorious, gorgeous golden eyes stare deeply down into mine. In her embrace, she holds me with what feels to be a clamp-like grip—still find it weird how that happens even without opposable thumbs—mixed with a motherloving life extractor.

We lie together amidst a mess of pie and other apple-based products. Her eyes look down into my own and something–I don't know but some-motherduckling-thing sparks in her–begrudgingly, incredibly attractive golden pools that normal people call eyes.

It just sounds better with her for some reason. Not that I said it or told her or anything. Damn, this was all almost perfect. Her golden pools—God even thinking of her eyes makes my stomach feel weird.

I digress; thinking of eyes-but-not-hers, I remember I have mine and that I can see. I look over my human-shoulder from my... position to see an Applejack with a grin most sinister. You traitor.

Y'know, I had completely forgotten she was there.

A sound perches in my ears and I turn to the invading noise. With the giggling and the laughing of Sweetie and Scooterdoodle respectively, I realize I'd forgotten they were around, as well. Yeah, definitely not as perfect as I imagined for some reason.

I don't remember seeing her hit anything? Or me, on that matter. When did we get covered in delicacies of the apple kind?

I soon realize I have no lungs and I must breathe. I push the crazy foal onto her rump, away from me. "Tryna kill me here or what? You-" I stop mid-sentence, first thinking it was solely my imagination–quickly proven false, and stare at the only, truly injured party. "You killed my pie!"

Applebloom looks over her shoulder-thing and looks blankly at the strewn pastries and other such sweets. "O-oh," she let's loose a chuckle, embarrassment evident in her tone, "shoot, Ah'm sor-sorry about destroyin' yer pie," oh no. I'm sensing a disturbance in the Force. "Ah just saw you an'-an'," oh my God my heart is going to stop, she uses her stutter on purpose! "Ah done plum didn't even see the stand!"

God motherfluffing dammit, she's puppy-dogging me–and I fall head over heels into Admiral Ackbar's ever-illusive trap once more. This drop-dead gorgeous mare–er, this filly is good.

Too good.

I sigh in contempt defeat–yeah, not content, I know the difference! I think, but still. Applejack coughs into her fetlock, after having just dealt with a customer complaining about his destroyed pie, and I look back up to the mare in surprise. How did I forget she was there, again?! "Well, seein' as t'how halfa the merchandise is o-fficially caput," she gives a pointed stare at Applebloom, who giggles nervously, dodging her sister's invisible fire.

She has a real cute laugh either way–Applejack continues, "that means halfa our salary for today," and there's an edge in her voice, I can hear it. "An' since Ah ain't a mare to do half of a job," why? Am I cursed or something? She continues speaking, despite my cautious, pleading gaze. "Ah figure all y'all involved," screw that hat, I'm burning her. I–

"-won't mind watchin' the stall fer me 'till Ah get back with the reserves." Am so going to watch the whole world burn. Applejack looks over to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, shaking her head with a knowing grin. Both of the fillies share a look before smiling knowingly, back.

Applebloom's friends hoofbump as they walk away from the scene of ultimate betrayal.

DEFCON ONE! DEFCON ONE! ABORT MISSION–EVERYTHING IS FISH!

Applebloom's eyes widen to such an extent, I have to remind myself look away, to never stare into the abyss. Lest it stares back, like it's doing right now. The golden orbs of infinite splendor and beauty once more force me into making a bad decision, "s-sure." I don't know if that was Applebloom or me, but I wasn't going to admit anything.

Applejack's brows shot upwards as she looks at me, her mouth agape. It turns into a warm grin really quick. She definitely planned this out prior, "well shoot, Sugarcube! Might make a better brother-in-law than Ah done thought!"

Applebloom's face lights up brighter than the 4th of July and mine? There is totally, absolutely no way I was blushing as well. Being a man–well, being a thirteen year old man, it's my job to take charge, right? "I am totally going to marry your sister someday," I stare Applejack dead in the eyes as I say those fateful words.

Why, exactly did I say those fateful, final words? Why exactly did I respond to Applejack's statement? Wooooords. I. Hate. Wooooords.

I hate everything. I hate my mouth for speaking faster than I can think. I hate how easy it is for me to get caught up in stuff. I especially hate how I said those motherdamning words!

A minute passes in silence and I finally move to stand up. As soon as both of my lanky legs find still purchase, Applebloom once again finds herself in my arms–throwing me off of my perfectly, literally just recently attained, still purchase and back onto, well, my back.

God.

Motherbucking.

Dammit.

"I'll marry you too, I'll marry you too!" She shouts happily, ecstatically into my likely-to-now-go-deaf ear, her head falling between my head and chest.

Applebloom's rather sudden muzzle nuzzle against my neck tickles. Instinctively, I lower my chin in self-defense with a loose grin. We stare at each other in needed, blissful silence. Quickly, Applebloom's lips press against mine, just a second. Chaste, enough so that despite all of my internal protests, I attack the attacker back.

Our lips meet a second time in an explosion! While another quick peck on the surface, billions of thoughts rushes through my head the second time around. They don't settle, they race to and fro, and they stop. They stop on two golden pools and my heart melts at the sight before me.

I lie into her, and despite having been tasked to watch the stall, no one attempts to bother us with a rather-messy purchase. Apparently we're too cute, ugh.

Kill me now.

"Applebloom, I-" shouldn't be speaking, "-have I–has anyone ever told you, you-" that I need to shut up, "you have the most beautiful golden pools for eyes? You-you deserve that." I manage to end it as a statement, with pure will alone.

So. Much. Corn.

Motherfucking hopeless romantic inside me, I hope you die. I breathe through my nose as I hold the filly into me. My fillyfriend, Applebloom.

I blink and I see Applebloom mouthing words to me, her eyes beginning to water. She's smiling, and I smile back.

"Ya j-just did, ya idjit," I laugh along with her, her lips pressing against my cheek, "and I thank you ver-very much for it, YOUNG DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON, FAMOUS MOVIE ACTOR AND ONCE-PRO, NOW-RETIRED WRESTLER. You made my day."