I Bought a Copy of a My Little Pony DVD Set on June 6, 2006, and Now I Can't Go Outside Without Seeing Blood Everywhere
And then a skeleton popped out
I’ve always been a fan of My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. It’s been one of my favorite shows since I was a kid, and even though it’s ended I still watch it again every few weeks. I have collected over twenty life-sized plushies of various ponies and have even replaced every single article of my clothing with Rainbow Dash themed wear. I’ve collected three sets of every My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic DVD set and have had them autographed by Lauren Faust in sparkly velvet red glitter pen. My interest in the show would be my downfall, however.
It was the first Tuesday of the month, which meant it was time to go pony shopping. I hopped out of my racecar bed covered in hundreds of various Rainbow Dash stickers I ordered off Redbubble and stumbled into my closet, adorning my Rainbow Dash backpack, hoodie, shoes, shoelaces, and digital watch. I zoomed out of my room, ignoring my mom as I raced past her, fuck that bitch. I hopped onto my Rainbow Dash skateboard and skated down to my local flea market, where I ran into Dave, the cashier. Dave was super cool and always gave me discounts on my pony merch.
“Heya Dave, whatcha got for me today?” I asked, smiling behind my Rainbow Dash glasses.
Dave sighed, then smiled, he seemed tired “Wouldn’t you know it, I got something super special for you today.” He reached under the counter and pulled out a DVD case. The cover was just a piece of tape that said, “My Little Pony: Season 666.” I looked at the bottom of the case where Dave held it. A deep red fluid that looked a lot like blood was seeping out of the bottom and covering Dave’s hand. I decided to ignore it, Dave probably strangled an animal earlier or something.
“How much for this?” I pondered to him.
Dave smiled “I already paid for it. Don’t you worry.” He gave off a chuckle that sounded kind of like a sob. I didn’t care, I just wanted to watch My Little Pony. I hopped on my skateboard and skidded home, case in hand. As soon as I arrived, I sped past my mom and slammed my bedroom door shut, locking it with my Rainbow Dash key and then sitting in my rainbow dash chair. I opened the case and jumped. Blood covered the entire DVD and I was furious. How could Phil sell me a dirty disk like this?
After cleaning it off with my Rainbow Dash handkerchief, I inserted it into my PS3, fit with a custom Rainbow Dash skin. The My Little Pony theme plays, except it was distorted and the My Little Pony logo is black and red with blood dripping off it.
“There’s no way this is real,” I thought to myself. Suddenly, Rainbow Dash appeared on the screen.
“Oh, it’s real Timothy.” She said, I was shocked, how did Rainbow Dash know my name? And how could she read my mind? Suddenly, her eyes went black, and hyper-realistic blood started pouring out of them. “It’s time to murder everything you love.” She yelled, pulling out a large bloody knife with a bloody hoof and flying into Ponyville. I was scared, what was Rainbow Dash going to do?
The screen went black, before fading into Fluttershy’s cottage, Fluttershy was lying down when Rainbow Dash burst through the door and stabbed Fluttershy with her knife twenty-seven times. Fluttershy was covered in hyper-realistic blood. Rainbow Dash looked to the screen. “This is what you get” she growled. I screamed, ripping my PlayStation out of the wall and smashing it with a Rainbow Dash baseball bat, then I lit it on fire with my Rainbow Dash flamethrower before turning to my monitor. To my horror, the show was still running, and Rainbow Dash was looking directly at me.
“You can’t escape me that easily, Timothy.” She said, before smiling. I tried turning off my monitor and it wouldn’t turn off. Suddenly blood started leaking from it as Rainbow Dash went over to Twilight’s house. Twilight was reading a book titled “How to Talk to Animals Like a Normal Person” as Rainbow Dash came in and stabbed her in the chest four hundred times. Hyper-realistic blood spurted across her as she screamed. Rainbow Dash was cackling evilly, pulling out a chainsaw and cutting her head off before eating it. She then flew out of the library before the scene changed to Rarity’s boutique.
Rarity was stitching a dress when Rainbow Dash crashed through the boutique’s front door with an axe. She proceeded to Chop Rarity’s head off and beat her thrashing body to death with it. I was actually okay with this because I don’t like Rarity that much and think she’s a stupid character. Suddenly Applejack descended the stairs, pausing at the sight before her.
“Rainbow Dash! What in Celestia’s name are you doing to Rarity?!” she said. “Giving her what she deserves.” Rainbow Dash said, before flying back to her and shooting her with an AK-47. She then proceeded to take both of their bodies and stitch them together before throwing them in the garbage and then flying off, leaving the boutique covered in blood.
The camera then cut to Pinkie Pie eating a cake outside Sugarcube Corner, without warning, Rainbow Dash appeared from the cake with a loaded shotgun and blasted Pinkie’s Brains out, coating the camera in blood. Pinkie Pie was still twitching and moving, so Rainbow Dash then began filling in all of Pinkie Pie’s bullet wounds with birthday candles.
She stopped and then turned to the screen and said, “Now I’m coming for you.” She leapt at the screen and fell through it before stabbing me forty-seven times in the neck. I bled all over the chair and then I died with blood continuing to flood my room. Let this be a lesson for you, if you ever come across this DVD, burn it, or else Rainbow Dash will kill you too.
