My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
OutKast Concept
"Make Sense? What fun is there in making sense?"
-Discord
Fluttershy walked slowly through Ponyville. There was an ominous mood of doom today. Rainbow Dash had once again failed to clear the sky of clouds, giving it a dark, overcast appearance. This came as no surprise really, as Rainbow was notorious for being lazy, but she was normally out and about by this time. Fluttershy passed Pinkie Pie, who was not being her usual hyperactive self. Instead, she was sitting with her head in her hooves, talking to Gummy. The alligator sat a few feet away, his tail wagging occasionally in response. Fluttershy saw Derpy, her eyes crossed as usual. She was sniffing at a rotten apple on the ground, flapping her wings every few seconds. At least someone was being normal. Fluttershy herself had wings, but had never been a strong flyer, preferring to walk instead. The low mood of the town was too much. Fluttershy sighed sadly to herself, and then headed towards the Everfree forest. Maybe she could find a small animal to talk too, anything to get in a better mood. She passed her own cottage, and followed the uneven cobblestone path through the dark trees. Fluttershy started to whistle quietly, in hope of attracting a bird or a rabbit. She continued to walk deeper into the forest. It was oddly quiet, the usual chorus of birdsong and animal chatter disturbingly absent. Fluttershy sighed again, deeper this time. “Oh, maybe I’ll just lie down here and stay here for the rest of my life,” she wondered aloud. She heard a flutter of wings, and looked up to see a pair of ravens glide overhead. Not the prettiest creature in the forest, but it would do. She decided to follow them, and see where they were going. Fluttershy round a particularly large tree, and entered a clearing. The ravens had landed by a large group of their fellows, who crowded around something lying in the grass. It twitched, and the birds leapt back in alarm, others taking flight. Fluttershy gasped. The ravens had been picking over the body of a pony. It obviously was not dead, as the birds had first thought. It began to stir, flicking its tail and jerking its hooves. The pony’s body was dark grey, almost black. Its mane was jet black, and careened scruffily along the spine of the body. And it appeared to be bleeding. Blood was not unfamiliar to Fluttershy, as she had treated various wounds on animals over the years, but this looked more like an injury sustained in combat. She had heard stories of ponies in faraway lands, which made their lives out of killing. She couldn’t imagine claiming the life of another living thing, but this newcomer obviously needed help. Fluttershy began to creep forwards, the ravens hopping lazily out of her way. “Um, excuse me?” No response. “Are you ok?” she asked a bit louder. The pony groaned as if in agony, revealing to be a colt. Fluttershy took a few steps away from him, unsure of what to do. “Are you ok?” she repeated. “My head fucking hurts” came a blunt reply. The colts’ voice was quite deep, almost distorted. Fluttershy was quite taken aback. She had never heard this word before, ‘fucking’. The colt tried to roll over, and groaned again. “My whole friggin’ body hurts.” There was a slight zap, like a spell being performed by a unicorn, and the colts’ spine healed up, the blood melting away into his fur. He tried to stand up, and shakily lifted his head to look at Fluttershy. “What the fuck?” he muttered, “Am I dead for real this time?” He closed his eyes and opened them again. “Who…what are you?” he said at last. “I’m Fluttershy,” she said nervously, “and I’m a pony, just like you.” As she said ‘just like you’ his eyes widened. “Just like me?” He turned his head to look at his body, and then omitted a choked scream. “What the fuck!?” he yelled, stumbling to his feet, and turning a full circle trying to look at his rump. “A Horse? I’m a motherfucking Horse?” He looked at Fluttershy, and she realized he was wearing black tinted Aviator goggles. “How the fuck am I a horse?” he said, with a pause in between each word. Fluttershy backed away a bit more, becoming frightened. “I don’t know,” she said nervously, “you were born like that?” The colt grunted. “I was born a human, not a fucking horse!” He yelled, and tried to stand on his hind feet. He quickly lost his balance and fell on his stomach. “Ok, ok” he gasped, breathing heavily, “I have either died and gone to weed hell, or I have shifted into the realm of talking horses.”
“Actually, we’re ponies” Fluttershy began, but stopped as he yelled something ineligible, and flopped his head into the ground. “Ok,” he said finally, “I am now a talking pony. You are a talking pony. My name is Clyde,” He looked at Fluttershy, “What’s your name?”
She tried to say her name, but her voice wouldn’t work properly.
“What?”
“Fluttershy. My name is Fluttershy.” She grinned timidly. Clyde got to all fours, and began trying to walk, taking small steps. “What are you doing?” Fluttershy asked. “Learning to walk with hooves on all fours” came the blunt reply. She wanted to ask, ‘why?’, but decided against it. He was now walking in a circle, putting one hoof in front of the other, which he seemed to do quite easily, and looked up at Fluttershy with a grin on his face. Clyde did not have a pair of wings, nor did he have a magical horn protruding from his forehead. But on his left front leg was strange, metal looking object. It appeared to be strapped to his lower leg, with 2 thick cables running from the back end, and to Fluttershys’ shock, literally into his upper leg. She didn’t want to ask the question, but she couldn’t stop herself. “What is that on your arm?” He looked at it with mild surprise. “Great. Now I’m bloody left handed. Or hoofed. Whatever.” Clyde looked up frowning. “It’s called a chainsaw, and it’s designed to” he cut off; as if this chainsaw was holding a secret he didn’t want to share. “Never mind.” He said, and walked up to Fluttershy. “I have no fucking idea where the hell I am, but if you would be so kind as to guide me to the nearest settlement, I will bother you no longer.”
Fluttershy smiled and said; “Follow me, I can show you”. She turned around and began her way back towards Ponyville, with Clyde trotting along behind her. This day was getting weirder by the minute.
