The royal cook goes dirty

by Questionmark x3

Rating: mature
Tags: Changelings, Porn, Queen Chrysalis, Princess Celestia, Anthro, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Fetish
Length: 4102

This is exactly what you think it is

Contains: Scat (basically centered around it) Evil/Bad things happening to good ponies

Please only vote if you actually read it and not for the sake of downvoting!

That's the only warning i give. This story was a suggestion from a friend of mine to test my limits. Also to see if i can make something like this into an enjoying story for anyone who wants to give it a try.

Spoon Chaser was a simple cook in a small coffee shop just a few weeks ago, but all that changed when he was picked by the princess of the sun to replace there last cook for the canterlot castle. What he didn't knew was how much of a prick the guards could be so his plan on getting it back to them backfires and hits the royals instead.

Will they find out what he did?

Published 2020-12-13 02:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-13 02:40:00 UTC

A Princess dinner

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were both eagerly waiting for the new cook to prove himself to them with a dinner worthy of the two royals. Said cook was putting the last finishing touches on the food he had so eagerly put together with care.

A few minutes later he finally rushed through the big doors of the dining room and excused himself for being so late with the food. “I am deeply sorry my princesses, dinner took longer to prepare than expected, but it will taste great to make up for it.” Spoon Chaser promised the two, while putting the plates with the food next to their plates, before presenting them. Using his magic to hover each plate's cover off.

“First we have a few steaks, medium rare with a tasty white lychian sauce to give it some spice, as for the dessert I decided to go with a chocolate pudding to round it off.”

“Wow, that really does look tasty, Mr cook. But we will see in a minute if the taste holds up.” Luna spoke first while Celestia was making a photo of the food in front of her. Spoon had noticed this behavior earlier when he met the princesses in the coffee shop he worked at before being invited to cook for them.

After the monologue, Celestia and Luna both put a sizable steak on their plates and put a bit of the white sauce over it. Meanwhile, Spoon filled up the glasses of the royals with canterlot finest wine. Sweating a ton, while he awaited the princesses judgement. Especially since he fully well knew what they would be eating.

The steaks had been laying in piss for an hour before he had begun cooking them, as for the sauce Spoon had used normal lychian sauce, but mixed a few bits of dick cheese that he scrapped from his cock with a fresh load of him that went straight up into the bowl of sauce.

The special attraction for the dinner would be the dessert that he made with a little fresh log of anal cream that was mixed into the chocolate, giving it a creamy look afterwards. As for the smell that would obviously be a problem Spoon enhanced the food he made with a spell that took him quite a lot of energy and drained his batteries for the day.

Spoon snapped back out of his flashback, as he heard the first fork and knife hit the plate as it cut through the steak and scratched slightly on it. The cook watched with sweat running down his face as Luna began to put the steak into the disgusting sauce, guiding it back to her mouth and closing her full lips around the fork, pulling the steak off it and starting to chew it. Not a look of disgust, yet.

With the night princess occupied chewing the elder sister did not hesitate much to dig into her own portion of food after putting her phone away.

Spoons sweating intensified as he watched Luna swallow, immediately he could feel his stallionhood hardening from the display, but luckily he had made preparations this time to not have his member stick out as much with a belt holding it close to his body.

Finally! Princess Luna had finished the steak and sauce, putting the fork and knife to the side before looking sternly at the poor unicorn.

“Not bad for the first major dinner I must say. Maybe a little too much salt on the steak, but besides that it tasted like a 3/5. Well done!”

Spoon Chaser felt so relieved, when hearing this from the princess and turned to princess Celestia who had eagerly finished her steak and was now drinking the pudding straight from the bowl. He could see that the taste must be good for how much she was licking the little bowl clean with her tongue. Once she was done cleaning, the bowl was empty and her face spotted a few brown spots that were quickly removed by a napkin.

“Simply said, sister, I choose my cook well. I haven't eaten so good in a long time,” Celestia proclaimed, while giving her sister a magical pat on the back of her shoulder to push her for a taste of her own pudding.

“I am honored that your highness found a liking to my cooking skills.”

Spoon bowed down and held his cooking hat with one hand, before coming back up and gazing at Luna who was having not just a great rag but a bit of chocolate pudding on its way between her blue lips. Just the thought of this was giving him a boner under his clothes.

“If you excuse me for now, my princesses, I need to prepare some things for tomorrow morning.”

With those words he earned a dismissal from Celestia with a nod. She was too focused to gaze in a cute way at her little sister eating pudding. Luna would definitely need to admit to her sister that she picked a good cook and that's why she was so focused on her food rather than her smug sister.

A huge smirk was on the cook's face as the doors closed behind him, and he heard the moon princesses slurping of the chocolate pudding. It had something oddly satisfying to trick 2 leaders of a country into eating literal shit and other disgusting things, while getting a pat on the back for it. There must definitely be a fetish to that.

When walking down the hallways a familiar face joined up with him, the same female guard that the changeling transformed into back in the kitchen. Was it really her? Or was she just the template that was used by the changeling?

Oddly enough the two of them had the same way and headed to the kitchen, but before getting to that, he was pulled to the side by the guard and into a small storage room with the door closing behind them.

The guard looked at him before the cover of green flames rushed down the body of hers to reveal the chitin of her changeling body. “So you dirty cook, what did you feed them? Doesn't matter to me but my boss is interested in such fine details.”

Spoon Chaser gulped a little and looked around first before leaning in a bit to her. Much to her discomfort. “I served them a steak that had lain in piss for a few hours with a sauce made out of lycian fruit, cum and dick cheese. In the dessert I put a chocolate pudding with a small amount of my own shit mixed into it to get it creamy. The two of them didn't mind at all given how they mentioned it was a 3 out of 5.”

The changeling was visually disgusted by the pervert, but had her orders that she was bound to follow. “My queen wants to test your...skills. She tasked me with helping in getting you all you need to make your food for the princesses. The things you can't buy anywhere obviously.” she added that last part, so he wouldn't just think she was his errand girl.

“I guess that makes getting...exotic food ingredients a whole lot easier. Thought for a test run I would like some timberwolf droppings, pig dick cheese and if you can get it a piece of Celestias own shitlog. I got big plans for that specific log if you can get it for me.”

“... That's even more disgusting than I could have imagined. I am just glad I don't have to get those myself. I will see what my drones can do about the two ingredients, but for the last one I have to find an opportunity so don't expect anything.”

Making herself ready to leave the closet again she halted herself at the door knob and turned around to him with her head that was flaming green. “The queen can be very generous to those assisting her as you will find out if you continue your...services.”

No other words were spoken and the mare checked the corners before hastily making herself rare. Spoon did the same, but without the cool green flames. Also tripping over his own legs once on his way back to the kitchen. But he didn't lose his cool. Most guards in the halls must have been somewhere else as he did not find anyone bothering him this time.

Once the cook returned to the kitchen, he threw his cooking clothing over a rag and tired from the hard work today he walked through the castle to his room that a mare had shown him in the morning. It was to be used, so he would reliably be here from morning to evening at the service of his princesses.

Falling on the bed and imagine all the surprise meals he could cook the princesses with the help of his new *friend* this was to be an interesting development. All this thinking got him exhausted and his eyes closed off a few minutes later as he drifted off to sleep.

First day on the job

It was Spoon Chaser’s first day on the job, he had been picked out from one of Equestria's finest restaurants, the Hearts Locket. At Least that's what he is telling the castle staff that asked him about it. The true story tho was much less glamorous. One day when the princesses were out together in a restaurant he happened to be the lucky unicorn cook who made princess Celestia a banana cake with vanilla topping that tasted so good to the princess that she hired him on the spot for the castle.

The grey colored stallion was in a general good mood, because of his new job at the royal castle in the middle of equestria's capital. For his age of 25 this was not only an achievement for him, but one for any cook to be handpicked by a princess. After his last shift in the small business he had been working in for a few years, he was so excited that he almost couldn't believe it when he landed in his bed that night, staring at the ceiling of his old apartment’s bedroom. Spoon Chaser had almost ripped some of his purple mane out as soon as he was home, to check if he was dreaming.

A guard snapped him out of his rewind by giving him a healthy body check as he walked by him. The cook was reminded of one of the bad things that seemed to have come with the job, the guards themselves. They thought themselves better than the newcomers. It wouldn't be a concern of his if they hadn't been picking on him since he entered the place. Spoon looked back at the guard who didn't even look back at him, wanting to say something, but decided to leave it be. They weren't worth the hassle. At Least that's what the stallion had told himself, while rubbing his shoulder at the spot the armored stallion body checked him.

Continuing his way to the castle’s kitchen, he couldn't help but stare at the beautiful architecture of the castle. All the old beautiful portraits of the two sisters hanging everywhere in the castle, but what really was so special about the halls Spoon Chaser walked, were the windows which had were documenting the history of equestria. From the humble beginnings of the 3 tribes, not counting the bat pony tribe that wasn't heard of back then to the banishment of Nightmare Moon.
On his way to the kitchen, the stallion found a maid that was currently doing laundry, which was kind enough to point him in the right direction. Given how big the castle was, it would be a test of his luck to find the way out after his shift.

After Spoon had gone through a few more hallways, he finally reached his destination marked with a big sign over the door, which reads *Kitchen*. A Guard was holding his spear in front of the grey unicorn, when he tried to enter. The Guard was looking down at him, that much could be heard from how he spoke. “You must be the new cook that the princesses have dragged in. Hope you can cook as good as they say, because we haven't had a good meal in a while, after the other cooks got sick. So don't fuck this up, we can only eat caned beans so often.” the Pegasus guard lifted his spear after Spoon gulped and gave him a nod, hastily passing by in to the kitchen itself. Thought before the door closed the guard threw in an *order* written on a napkin. “Me and a friend are hungry so go make us some food!” was yelled in the kitchen before the wooden door closed and Spoon Chaser picked up the note from the ground via his white magic, reading it and throwing the paper in a corner of the kitchen.

“Sure I make them some food, but couldn't they be a bit nicer about it…” the cook groaned while looking around the kitchen to see what he had to work with.

“The size of this is definitely more than enough. Two fridges and that in the back must be a freezing room. 3 ovens for when there is a big menu order… hope I am not meant to throw this party all by myself. Plenty of cutting boards on the large table, and who would forget the old reliable toaster,” Spoon had to chuckle at his last remark. When he was still working at his previous job, Spoon saved his job more than once by emergency warming up food in a microwave or toasting a few salad leaves just a few seconds to give them the right taste.

But enough of this. It was time to cook

Of course putting on a chef's apron to keep his own clothes clean when cooking was also not to be overlooked.

Memorizing what the two guards had ordered on the note, it wouldn't take him much effort to finish 2 sandwiches, in fact his magic already rushed through the storage in the back, picking up a piece of bread and cutting 4 pieces of it on a plate, while his hands were busy slicing a few salad leaves down as the toaster made quick work of the untoasted bread.

A few minutes later and the toast was done, still warm and ready to be eaten. But there might be one thing he had missed still. Looking around and checking if the door was still locked, Spoon Chaser began to drop his blue pants, his white shorts followed soon after. The stallion was now crouching over the plate he had put on the ground beneath him a moment before. With a little help of his magical hand, the cook began to rub around the now revealed asshole of his, not for pleasure, but to scratch off little bits of brown dried shit.

The little bits of shit fell on a small magical platform below where he spread it out from on the two sandwiches. After he couldn't feel any more dried shit on his tight hole, he pulled his pants back up, sweating a little from the rush of doing something so depraved in a kitchen.
“But those guards deserve it, for all the shit they gave me today it's only fair to give them a bit of shit back.” Looking at what his fruits of labor had produced it wasn't all too bad. The little bits of brown were a bit see able but could be mistaken for anything else, besides, ones the upper part of the sandwich was applied there was no issue with the food on the plate.

Picking up the plate from the floor, Spoon walked steadily on the marble plates that covered the entire kitchen floor, to the wooden door, ready to be met by the guard from before. To his surprise he wasn't there anymore. “Probably on break, and here I was hoping to watch them eat,” the star cook of the castle groaned and placed the plate on a takeaway table standing near him in the hallway. Even going so far to write a little note with *Enjoy* written over it and put it next to the food plate.

Shortly after, Spoon was just about to close the door again and wait for a real order for dinner he heard some running and panting coming down the hallway. Curious if this might be the guard and his pal, he stopped in the doorway and stuck his head out in the hall. His eyes went wide as he spotted Princess Celestia and her younger sister Princess Luna jogging through the hallway. Both in tight-fitting jogging outfits and their manes bound together in a ponytail. “Come on Celestia, just a bit more, and we got our record!” Luna moaned at her elder sister, sweat covering both their bodies before finally getting to a halt in front of the kitchen. Both of them had to catch up on breath. Luna was the first one to regain her stamina, noticing the Cook standing in the doorway and next to him on a table was exactly what the two needed after such a training.

“Hey Tia, seems like your new cook already made us a snack. Thanks for that.”

The mare was quick to walk past the excited and stuttering stallion who wanted to raise his hand to tell the two of them not to eat those. Spoon's problem was getting more and more dangerous as Princess Luna handed over one of the sandwiches to a recovering Celestia, and given how hungry her sister was, Spoon couldn't get many words out before the inevitable happened. “Those are for-,” he was cut off by the first sandwich entering Celestias mouth, chewing the special made sandwich and making it disappear in her stomach, same as for her Princess Luna. Both of them licked their lips clean of any remaining food stains. Though one bit of dried shit somehow landed on Luna’s upper lip.

“You were saying?” the moon princess turned to him and waited for an answer with a raised eyebrow.

“Those… Sandwiches hopefully were to your liking, my highness.” Spoon needed to bite his tongue not to say anything wrong right now, his luck was that they didn't seem to have a clue what they had swallowed, just now noticing the little that remained on Luna’s upper lip.

“My princess, you got a little bit of...salad dressing on your upper lip, should I get a napkin to clean it off?”

“This won't be necessary” stopping him in his tracks as he watched her rub off the dried shit on her finger and licked it off by sticking her finger between her blue lips. This action must have turned Spoon Chaser on. His cock was pressed hardly against the underwear he was wearing and the only reason the two princesses weren't able to tell was the cooking attire he was wearing on top of it.

“See, no problem. Keep up the good work for dinner and you might prove me totally wrong in doubting Celestia picking a cook from a small coffee shop,” the lunar princess told him with a pat on the shoulder and a smile on her face.

“Come now sister, we are probably keeping him from preparing exactly that, so let's enjoy a good shower before dinner,” Celestia pulled her little sister away from the petrified Spoon Chaser and the pair began to jog away and probably to the showers….or maybe one shower for the two of them.

The stallion himself had finally retreated back into the kitchen, closed the door and leaned down against it.

A new look of determination on his face, and that of perversion. Who was he to judge what food they enjoyed, so why not give them his best try.

“I can't stop now, I need to test how far I can go. For science!” which was totally not a way of justifying this to himself, while pulling out his erected cock from his pants, that he was planning to jerk off after seeing something so depraved happen right in front of him.

Part two: How far can you go?

Spoon Chaser was still not sure how he would get through with making such *special* food for the princesses. Even if they did not mind his sandwiches with extra ingredients, who would know if they would again fail to notice what was wrong with the food he would make.

When the cook asked himself that a green flame erupted behind him on the table, one saltshaker molded into a new form. Large holey legs was the first to form as the flame went up the floating shaker. Soon after the once standing kitchen utility had transformed into a tall female changeling, who sat legs crossed and arms behind her on the desk to support her. A smug expression covered the chitin face plate of hers, as the last bit of the green flame disappeared at the tip of her deformed horn. Her lack of clothes was obviously no concern as the chitin plates hide every bit of lewdness from the viewer for as long as needed.

“Well, I must say that was one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed. Still quite entertaining to see those two getting served what they deserve.” the changeling replied, while watching the shocked ponies face who now knows of a witness of his dirty deed. She was sure he wouldn't dare to alert the guards, especially when he was that shocked that he couldn't move an inch.

Breaking the silence that now stood in the room, Spoon finally got his courage together.
“W-Why are you here? How much did you see?”

“I saw more than I needed to see of your asshole, let's leave it at that. My queen has sent me here to find some dirt on the royals and their staff to use and blackmail. Must be my lucky day with you,” raising an eyebrow when she mentioned the word dirt to imply its double meaning a bit, before staring into his eyes coldly and standing up, walking towards him, before standing next to each other.

“You work for me now. If you don't want to be exposed as degenerate, I would advise you to do exactly as I say, or else the castle will soon know what you did.” This was probably the closest he would come to a warning, so he probably should do the smart thing and do as she says.

“Not much of a choice, really,” the stallion replied while pulling his too tight feeling shirt's neck piece to the side in discomfort, before letting it go. What other chances did he really have? The guards would not believe him, and even if they would, there was no way in hell that they wouldn't check the princesses's food that day if it was poisoned.

The changeling gave him a shrug.

“There is always a choice. I never said they look promising or will lead to anything, but given your expression you know that. I will report back to you after dinner with instructions.” with the last word the changeling began to flame up again, stepping forward was a female guard in heavy armor plates walking through the door. Thankfully the guard who stood in front of the door was not back at his post just yet, so he wouldn't interfere with the changeling.

Spoon Chaser watched her walk past a corner and disappear. So many thoughts on his mind. He could still call the guards, but it would be pointless now. The changeling could just take another form and walk out of the castle as Celestia herself.

“Well, I guess the only thing I can do for certain now is to make the dinner.” Spoon groaned out annoyed by how things are going, while he headed over to the fridge to get some ideas for a meal to prepare.

His first thought was about pudding for the desert, mixed with a healthy amount of shit, but what would be the main course?

A fine steak of course! With rice and with a sauce to take away the dryness.

The cook went to work on it quickly, as the dinner time was getting closer, and he wouldn't want to disappoint the royals.