A cool breeze blows across the otherwise warm and soothing air of the forest, gently bending trees under its force. The laughter and chatter from the students of Canterlot High, mixed with a few chirps from crickets, echoes through the air. A summer night where, on any other night, Gilda would be sitting on her comfy bed or talking to her reflection to pass the time.
Unfortunately for her, Gilda instead finds herself at the campsite of Camp Everfree, miles away from the city. Mentally cursing out the souls in a fifty-mile radius, including their families, Gilda bemoans her decision to come out here. Some of her classmates thought a camping trip would be perfect to unwind from the brutality of their final exams.
Gilda, however, now finds the idea to be the complete opposite, for her. The only reason she had agreed to come along is that she thought it would be more interesting than staying at home. Alas, making s'mores and telling not-so-scary ghost stories in front of campfires is not her thing, no matter how bored she is.
As the other students do their activities, Gilda stays by her tent and keeps to herself. Even though she is given space, it doesn't quell Gilda's inner fury from feeling like she was somehow tricked into coming out here. She could easily take the easy path: barking at the students that first thought of the idea for this trip. Or at any of them.
But the irritated girl knows snapping at them won't do any good, especially since her temper had gotten her into trouble at school.
Even so, the frustration and annoyance bubbling in her grow more and more, threatening to burst. It becomes too much, and Gilda stomps out of the campsite and wanders along a trail through the forest. She knows no one will dare follow her, unless they want a one-way ticket to a world of pain, courtesy of her fists.
Now a couple of minutes since she left her tent, Gilda reaches the end of the trail and enters a wider area of the forest with a huge, clear lake. By the lake's edge, a pink-haired, butter-toned girl sits by herself under a tree, her head pointing down. She wears a sleeveless white tank-top that bears an outdoors symbol on the front, a jean skirt wrapped with a pink belt, long faint yellow socks with pink polka dots, and pink sneakers with a hint of white at the toe. To top it off, a butterfly hairpin rests in the girl's long hair.
The girl's name is Fluttershy.
Gilda leans forward and squints her eyes to take a closer look, allowing her to notice Fluttershy's hair flapping in the sudden breeze. That same breeze brushes against Gilda's own hair as she continues to watch on for several seconds. Gilda isn't the caring type. Even of the students that she sees the most, she can barely remember half of their names, save for some such as Rainbow Dash.
However, there is something about Fluttershy that had caught Gilda's eye. She is just… different. She always concealed herself with the whole "good girl" image, which tricked anyone and everyone, though Gilda never believed the act. How Fluttershy had batted her eyelashes toward her or grinned when they passed each other in school was a pretty convincing, and often annoying, sight.
Ever since their first meeting, Gilda has believed she's the only one to observe Fluttershy's innocent façade as a facade, and has yearned to see more of the real Fluttershy she had seen at times. And now, with no one else around to see them together, this is her chance. She decides to quit twiddling her thumbs, go see why Fluttershy is sitting by herself, and, just maybe, get another glimpse of that true Fluttershy.
Gilda takes a step, but stops at the sound of… sobbing? She can hardly bring herself to admit it, but the weeping hurts Gilda's heart, even if just a bit. The sobs slowly grow louder, making the heartache stronger, even forcing grimaces from Gilda. Not one who is experienced at providing comfort, her first instinct is to sneak away while Fluttershy remains unaware of her presence. She turns around and takes a slow, careful step forward, then another, and then another—
*SNAP!*
A branch snaps in two under one of Gilda's shoes. Her eyes widen. How did she forget to look down to watch her steps?
Fluttershy's head shot up. Her cheeks, usually bright and glowing, are now pale and stained with tears. She wipes her redded eyes, then, in a meek voice, calls out, "H-hello? I-is someone out there?"
'Crap!' Gilda thinks. 'What the hell am I supposed to do now? Comfort her? Pfft… as if, but I gotta say something!'
Gilda slowly turns around while trying to think of an excuse for why she is here, but nothing good comes to mind. She tries to think of an insult to throw Fluttershy off-guard, then leave. But Fluttershy's watery eyes, her petite frame quivering beneath the bright moonlight, freezes Gilda's mouth from muttering even the most basic of insults.
"Oh, G-Gilda?" Fluttershy stands up. She brushes some dirt off her skirt, looking in every direction but Gilda's, and mumbles, "W-w-what are you doing here?"
Gilda stands in silence, feeling stupid at being so unsure of what her next move should be. A part of her feels the need to apologize for intruding, but does she even owe any apologies?
'Why am I feeling bad? It's her fault for crying where someone could run into her.'
Fluttershy, seemingly reacting to the silence, bites her bottom lip. She rubs her arm and looks down at her sneakers.
The growing awkwardness becomes too much. Since she still can't think of an excuse or insult, maybe Gilda could simply walk away. And yet, something about seeing Fluttershy in such a frail state makes even the third option of just walking away impossible. To Gilda's chagrin, she will have to use option "D", no matter how unaccustomed she is to it.
"Uh... Fluttershy…" Gilda spoke uncharacteristically softly.
Fluttershy lifts her head to face Gilda, this time with inviting eyes. Gilda tucks her hands deep within her pockets and creeps closer, if not reluctantly. She summons all of her willpower to try to form words—hopefully more than two this time.
"Why are you… y'know… crying?"
Fluttershy gasps and covers her mouth, a blush building within her cheeks. "Y-you could hear m-me?" she asks with her hands still over her mouth.
Gilda pulls her hands from her pockets and brushes one through her hair. "Yeah… I heard you. Couldn't ignore your crying even if I tried." Gilda rubs her hands, a shaky breath coursing from her lungs. She feels a ping in her chest along with an odd inclination to cup her face in her hands. With no idea why these emotions rush through her head, Gilda is silent once more.
"Oh." Fluttershy uncovers her mouth. She sighs, sits back down, and stares at her reflection in the lake.
Gilda calls forth her willpower again to take more slow, hesitant, steps forward, and finally sits beside the depressed girl. Just a few inches separated them.
Continuing to stare at herself in the lake, Fluttershy hugs her knees tightly. "I'm sorry if I bothered you. I've been going through a hard time, and I can barely take it anymore." Several quiet seconds pass. Seemingly finished with whatever she was silently thinking, Fluttershy clears her throat and continues, "It's... my family have been having... problems. My mother, father, and even brother say it's going to be okay. They're going to figure things out, they say. But, we can only buy so much time, and I need to help. But I... don't think I can if I stay in school."
Gilda's body numbs. She may not know what is wrong, but going by Fluttershy's words and an action she might be considering, it's worse than she thought. Gilda draws her sight away from Fluttershy to gaze out toward the lake.
"Hold on…" Gilda mutters, faltering for a second. "Does that mean you're thinking of…?"
"Yes." Fluttershy's hands tremble and she admits, "I'm going to drop out of school. It might mean giving up my plans for college, but I'd be able to help manage our... issues better than if I stay."
Gilda spins her head back to Fluttershy, her mouth agape. The first emotion to slam into her is confusion. Her brain shuts down momentarily, taking that feels like a few minutes to process Fluttershy's words. An emotional hurricane of anger, sadness, and grief rushes through her head, mixing in with the existing confusion, producing a slew of pure shock. Even with Gilda denying it in her head multiple times, Fluttershy is sitting before her, threatening to go away. A huge dent burrows in her heart, more significant than she can ever care to admit.
It is unlike Fluttershy to make such a rash decision. Despite her annoyingly quiet, timid nature, she is also a strong, determined, selfless girl that Gilda eventually learned to respect. A beautiful work of heart that would never give up, no matter how bad she was treated. Yet Fluttershy had just admitted that she's given up. Quit. Tapped out.
No, it is even worse. The Fluttershy currently staring at Gilda with big, frightened green eyes, unable to keep the trembling from her hands in check, is broken. Her eyes alone are enough to make the sky crumble, sparking Gilda's lungs to shrink and take her breath away, if only for a moment.
It is incomprehensible for Gilda to understand why someone like her wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge her true feelings until now. She isn't some coward, so why was she trying to run from them with lies about how "fake" Fluttershy's kindness is, because it sometimes made her cringe? With this moment of realization, a pink blush spreads over Gilda's cheeks, and her insides warm.
Finally emerging from her stupor, Fluttershy's mouth curls into a sad smile. A short giggle escapes her lips.
"Why are you laughing?" Gilda asks, her voice husky and low.
The girl's shoulders tap, making Gilda realize just how close they are sitting. Fluttershy looks toward Gilda, the latter seeing something in her eyes that she cannot put her finger on. The very sight makes her hands shake slightly.
"Oh, it's nothing. You're the first one to know… I like it that way." Fluttershy shuts her eyes once again. She takes a deep breath and runs a hand through the clear water of the lake.
'What was that supposed to mean? We aren't even friends; we never were.'
This is, by far, the most intimate conversation Gilda and Fluttershy have ever shared.
In Gilda's mind, the thoughts about Fluttershy's previous, puzzling words swap with more enraging thoughts of her talking as if she's not good enough. They force her to clench her fists and grit her teeth, just narrowly resisting the urge to punch the ground.
"Don't you dare drop out."
Fluttershy opens her eyes again, an eyebrow quirking up with confusion.
Gilda unclenches her hands. She grabs a small branch from her left side, leans forward, and runs the branch through the water. "Trust me: I'm not a fan of school with all those tests, homework, and getting up early, but I am a fan of not quitting, and you never quit. Can't Rainbow or Pinkie-what's-her-name or any of those other friends of yours be of any use?"
Fluttershy shakes her head. "I'm afraid it's not that easy. I promised my mother and father to keep what's happening indoors, and even my friends can't help if they don't know what's wrong. If I were stronger, better, then maybe I—"
*SNAP!*
The branch in Gilda's grasp breaks in two and sinks into the lake. She swings her head to Fluttershy, bearing a fierce scowl, the anger in her heart raging more than ever. Fluttershy also turns her head to Gilda, the sadness in her eyes turning into confusion.
"Who are you?!" Gilda demands, glaring intensely into Fluttershy's eyes. "What did you do to her?!"
Fluttershy leans away. "W-What do you mean?"
Gilda's piercing eyes continued to stare deep within Fluttershy's. The former's gaze knit together to give off an authoritarian, if not a pure intimidating, vibe.
"Answer me! For the last time, who the hell are you?!"
"Umm…" Fluttershy clears her throat. "F-Fluttershy?"
"Hmph… you sure about that?" Gilda scoffs, though the intensity of her eyes weans slightly. "You certainly don't act like her."
"What are you—"
"The Fluttershy I know is an annoying little brat who thinks she's so righteous, always wearing that stupid smile every time I see her!"
Fluttershy shivers fearfully. "W-well, I didn't mean to act like I think—"
"I've seen her do so much for other people. Sometimes I wonder how she can bear being taken for granted. It makes me want to puke."
Fluttershy looks down at her hands, her bottom lip quivering rapidly. "You don't have to be so mean—"
"She's always been a pushover; she never speaks her mind. She puts others before herself, and how do they thank her in return? They stomp all over her!"
Fluttershy whimpered, letting out a sadness-filled *squeak* in the process. "Stop it, please! I'm not in the shape for this!" She hugs herself and returns her gaze toward her reflection in the lake.
Gilda grabs Fluttershy's head and turns it back toward her, forcing her to look at her in the eyes. "I've seen her get spit in the face more times than I can count!"
"Okay, I get it! I'm a—"
Fluttershy whimpers, then jumps to her feet while freeing her head from Gilda's grip. Gilda immediately springs to her feet and grabs one of Fluttershy's arms before she could run away. Fluttershy pulls her arm trapped in Gilda's unyielding grip as hard as she can, her hands clutching into fists from the effort, but her arm remains locked in the grasp.
"She once stood her ground against a bully that was picking on some kids, despite being half that bully's size! How crazy does someone have to be to even try something like that?!"
"S-Stop it—”
"This one time, some kid asked her to give him her math homework so he wouldn't fail math, and she actually gave it to him! How stupid is that?!"
"S-Stop it, Gilda! Let me go!" Fluttershy repeatedly yanks her arm again, struggling to free herself, while a few tears stream down her cheeks. Though Gilda's chest tightens, she knows there's no turning back.
"She once gave up her lunch so the person behind her could have something to eat, even though she hadn't eaten the entire day!"
"Stop it, stop it, stop it!!" Fluttershy looks away again.
Gilda grits her teeth harder than ever. Still holding on to Fluttershy's arm with her left hand, she turns Fluttershy's face with her right hand to, again, make Fluttershy look at her by force.
"Don't you look away, because do you know what the worst part is?!"
The larger girl's voice resounds over Fluttershy's protests, coaxing the smaller girl's struggling to finally calm. A sentimental storm wells within Gilda; her hidden emotions, which had often kept her awake at night, begs to finally be let loose.
"The worst part of it is... she's stuck in my brain!”
Fluttershy's eyes widen entirely as she lets out a long, deep gasp. The two young women continue to stare into each other's eyes. Gilda's face, red as a stoplight, knows what she says is something Fluttershy needs to hear... and even more so, what she needs to say.
"I was just on a fool's errand. I was trying to tell myself that her gentleness was some ruse," Gilda continued. The emotion that she can't fight, even if she wanted to, triggers tears to stream down her cheeks. "But I was wrong… so goddamn wrong! I don't care how cringe-worthy that side of hers can be, I want it! I want the passive side, the beautiful side, the selfless side, and most of all, the unwavering side that will put up with anything! I want all of them, the whole package!"
Fluttershy's mouth dropped in awe. She moves her mouth to speak, but no words emerge. Gilda releases Fluttershy's wrists and took a few steps away from her, her breathing turning heavy. Never before did Gilda speak this way to her, or to anyone.
"I know that girl is naïve, generous, overreaching, maybe even annoying," Gilda mutters, her watery eyes never parting. "And yet... as much as I can't stand to admit it, I wish I could be like her, and I... I would watch hell freeze over before seeing her give up or think she's not good enough."
Fluttershy runs a shaky hand through her hair, her mouth still wide open, not even attempting to speak.
With her emotion finally let loose, Gilda wipes her eyes and turns away, her insides numb. She doesn't know for sure what made her up and confess her thoughts, and is even more amazed by how she, who hadn't shed a single tear in years, just did. Perhaps she always wanted to, but pride had prevented it until now. But she does know is that she feels mortification for giving away such a critical secret and, briefly, dropping her wall of toughness to allow part of her softer side to emerge. Since she has come too far, Gilda figures she might as well shake off the internal shaking over her previous actions and words, and say a few more things.
"If you are the person you claim to be, use the amazing strength I’ve seen you use and don’t give up. If it’s impossible, dig deep, and do everything you can to make it possible, as you've done before."
On that final note, Gilda walks back to the path she used to reach this part of the forest, heading back to her tent. She could have, or should have, also told Fluttershy to ask her for help if no one else could, but being supportive is a skill Gilda barely utilizes.
Without Gilda seeing it as she walked, a small smile curls on Fluttershy's face. A new stream of tears, very different from the tears from before, flows down her face.
"Thank you…"
