Take It!

by gapaot

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna
Length: 2046

Nightmare Moon wishes to rule. But be careful what you wish for...

Published 2011-08-11 04:23:28 UTC
Last updated 2011-10-26 14:53:07 UTC

Take It!

"Freedom! Freedom at last!"

Nightmare Moon took a deep breath of cool night air and looked up at the dark sky with a handful of tiny glimmering stars. She stomped her hoof indignantly.

"Amateur! Who does she think she is? I will tolerate this no more."

Two royal guard pegasi lazily laid on the steps of the castle main entrance. Their spears put aside, the guards were telling jokes instead of standing on duty. Why bother? The job is good, the wage is reliable, and emergencies are unheard-of.

"No shame whatsoever," Nightmare remarked ironically, making intentionally loud clatter with her silver hoofpieces against the white marble. Upon hearing the "abnormal" sound the pegasi stood up with great reluctance.

"Who goes… by Celestia's name!"

Amused, Nightmare Moon watched the ponies fill with awe and fear. Then she glanced over the castle. "That's one big house sis built for herself. When did she have the time to… oh right, silly me."

"Is Celly home?" the night goddess asked nonchalantly. The question received no answer, as the royal guards now looked very much like furniture. "I'll take that as a "yes" then? I'll help myself, if you don't mind." Not waiting for permission, Nightmare walked kingly through the open gate.

"Interior designer loses their horn… and tail. And maybe something a bit lower," Nightmare Moon said quietly to herself. "It's good enough for a labyrinth, but if it's a work office, it should be navigable without a compass and an astrolabe."

The alicorn stopped at an almost-closed door. A thin line of dim light escaped the room behind it. After all these years, all these plans and agonizing wait the time has finally come. "Time to have a talk, sis," she thought.

The Goddess of the Sun, the ruler of Equestria, the immortal princess Celestia sat there, bent over the table buried under a stack of scrolls.

"Alright, the budget plan's done," she spoke in a low voice. "What the hay do griffons want again? I should send an ambassador their way. Now, the survey results… damn it! And this celebration tomorrow… I can't stand any more of this rut."

The milk-white alicorn took another sip of tea and tiredly rubbed her eyes. Candles around her flickered for a moment. Nightmare Moon entered the room, seemingly unnoticed by her sister, despite the loud clanking she made.

"Oh, you decided to pay a visit," Celestia finally greeted her, still not raising her head from the papers. "Please suit yourself. Bathroom is this way, kitchen's that way," the princess pointed vaguely. "Tea, coffee, punch?"

Nightmare Moon was taken aback. She had prepared to face surprise, anger, hatred, immediate attack – but not such a drowsily indifferent welcome. Well, if Celestia thought it would make Nightmare forget why she came, she was mistaken.

"You know full well why I'm here," the coal-black goddess hissed. Celestia put the cup on the table, sighed wearily and raised her tired eyes to Nightmare.

"No I don't. A thousand years ago you wanted night eternal. On the other hoof, it's always night on the moon," Celestia yawned before she could cover her mouth, "perhaps you've changed your mind?"

The look that Nightmare Moon gave her could kill, literally – while the goddess was not harmed, the paint on the wall behind her blistered and smoldered.

"So you haven't," Celestia responded inertly. "Alright, what do you want?"

"The same I wanted back then, sister. I want our subjects to value my night as much as they value your day. They love you, while I'm always left behind, ignored, forgotten! But that will change tonight. I will make everypony admire me and my creation!"

Celestia sat motionlessly, watching Nightmare Moon lower into a battle stance, then repeated very slowly:

"Love?.."

Suddenly the cup next to her trembled as tea boiled inside. Candles around her wept, quickly reducing to heaps of wax under the pressure of Celestia's indignation. The sun goddess stood straight up, an invisible force hurling outwards various objects that were piled on the table. Nightmare dodged the cup flung at her and heard it break into pieces as it hit the wall behind.

"They love me, you say?!"

Another cup flew at Nightmare Moon.

"I've had this love up to here!" Celestia stopped with the tableware and crossed her throat with a hoof. "I'm fed up to the back teeth with this love of ponykind!" the alicorn rounded the table, stomping angrily and leaving melted marks in the stone floor with her every step. "I fire one worthless dolt from the castle, and I'm a tyrant. I put one criminal behind bars, and I'm a tyrant. Have you heard of "millions executed personally by Celestia"? I play one harmless prank to relieve a bit of stress, and the next thing I know I'm Trollestia too!"

The princess went up to a window. With a low sound the stained glass started to vibrate and shattered moments later, showering Celestia with multicolored bits. Her coat remained unblemished though, as all shards evaporated mid-air. Nightmare Moon looked at her sister in bewilderment.

"But they didn't stop there, no-o! Some loudmouth spread gossip that I have a thing for young ponies! "Oh no, it's Molestia, hide your fillies!" the princess mimicked an annoying high-pitched voice. "Disgusting. As if I have time to molest fillies! I sleep four damn hours a day!"

"C-Celestia, you got it wrong! I was saying that…"

"Oh no," an unnaturally wide smirk grew on the white alicorn's face, "you got it wrong, you… what do I call you… Luna? Nightmare? Same difference. Look, I can't even have a cup of tea without a crowd of morons cosying up to me, shoving aside anypony that might actually have something meaningful to say! And I can't bellow them away either – tyrant, remember? All I can do is sit there and smile like an idiot," Celestia stopped walking around the room and turned to Nightmare. "Do you want this love? Take it all!"

"But you banished me…" muttered Nightmare Moon, confidence leaving her voice, "I spent a thousand years on the moon, all alone…"

"Oh, you were lonely, sure. Do you think I was idling away here, enjoying myself?" Celestia scoffed. "When everypony saw me send my little sister to the moon, do you think they went up to me and said "oh, we're so sorry you had to do this, we feel for you"? They celebrated! I wanted to lock myself up here and cry, but they made a holiday out of it! Which I had to sit through, receiving all this damn praise! And then I had to do your work too, bringing night as well as day. Do you have any idea what not getting enough sleep for a millennium feels like?"

"Alright, to parasprites with all this regal tinsel. Have you by any chance noticed that these hooves," the alicorn came up to her sister, who was frozen in place, and shook her hooves in front of her, "have kept a semblance of order in Equestria for ten centuries?!"
"Your… words will not stop me," Nightmare Moon took her will in both hooves. "I came here to claim the power that is rightfully…"

And the sun princess snapped.

"FINE!" Celestia shouted, throwing her diadem at her sister. "Attend all these stupid meetings and gatherings with a smart look on your face! Drag the moon and the sun across the sky! Sleep for four hours a day! Listen to the incessant blathering of the royalty at the Grand Gala! Make the right decisions only to hear complaints from every side!"

The white alicorn took off her breastcollar and shook off the hoofpieces, tossing them away.

"You wanted night eternal? Congratulations, I'm not rising the sun anymore. If anyone asks, tell them you banished me to somewhere. Battle my own sister for the sake of throne and power? Find somepony else for that!"

And with this Celestia vanished from the throne room in a blinding flash of light, leaving Nightmare Moon with her jaw dropped. This was not how the night goddess imagined their confrontation.

Still not believing what just happened, the dark alicorn looked around the ruined chamber. The words of the recent conversation echoed in her head. A sad smile appeared on her face as she picked up the golden diadem. "Indeed, there is no punishment worse than a dream come true."

* * *

Nightmare Moon glanced over the ponies that gathered below the balcony. There was a time she dreamt of standing here, the victor of a fierce duel with Celestia. She dreamt of seeing reverence in everypony's eyes as they stood amazed before the true ruler of Equestria. But reality left nothing of these dreams. Nightmare Moon felt she might've known why Celestia gave up the throne so eagerly. "What in the world do I say now?"

"Greetings, my beloved subjects," at least the beginning was easy enough to make up on the spot. "Does anypony of you know who I am?"

"Ooh, ooh, more guessing games!" a lively pink pony exclaimed. "Um, Pokey Smokes? How about... Queen Meanie? No, Black Snooty! Black Snooty! Pfmf!.." an earth pony next to her stuffed an apple in the pink pony's mouth. Nightmare Moon expected anger to rise within her, but suddenly realized that this pony only amused her. A purple-coated unicorn stepped forward, anxiety and steel resolve mixed in her eyes.

"You're Nightmare Moon, former princess Luna and Princess Celestia's sister," she spoke, clearly expecting something bad to happen to her.

"That is true. I am your princess, and I'm back… from rest."

"What am I saying?" a thought darted in her head.

"I rested well, for a thousand years of night reinvigorated me. But now," the alicorn tried to add a sinister stroke to her voice, but it didn't quite work, "it is my sister's time to rest."

"Do you even believe in that yourself?" her inner voice asked.

"This is why I, Nightmare Moon, will rule you instead of Celestia from now on."

A tense silence filled the hall.

"I-I beg your pardon, princess," the Ponyville mayor finally uttered, "this is… great news. We're all endlessly happy… for you," with each word her voice grew more and more nervous. "But you see, today is the Summer Sun Celebration day and, well, we were hoping that princess Celestia would raise the sun…" the pony stopped abruptly and closed her eyes tight, scared by her own insolence.

"She will not", Nightmare flatly stated. The ponies gasped. "The night will last…"

"…forever?" the purple unicorn asked with horror. A couple of overly sensitive ponies fainted. The night princess sighed.

"No, as long as it takes me to figure out how to raise the sun."

Murmur raised in the crowd. "What?" "This is impossible!" "The horror!" "Will the night really last forever?" "Party all night long!" the voices came from everywhere. Nightmare Moon coughed gently.

"I've… never raised it before. Anyhow, you'll have to wait about a week. Two weeks, maybe. That is all," Nightmare Moon said moments before she vanished in a blue mist, leaving the stupefied ponies.

"And what do we do now?" the mayor pony's question remained unanswered.

* * *

"More pina colada, Miss Sunny Skies?"

Celestia raised her sunglasses leisurely, glancing over a tall muscular stallion who was levitating several glasses in front of him.

"Thank you. Would you bring a bottle of champagne to my room tonight?" she winked. "I can't stand drinking alone… What was your name again?"

"As you wish, Miss Skies. I'm Milly," the unicorn smiled.

"Oh, please, call me Sunny," Celestia replied in a cooing voice and turned to lie on her belly. "Would you be so kind as to rub my back with a suntan lotion? I'd be most grateful."

As a pair of strong hooves moved gently along her shoulders and her back, the princess let out a happy sigh. Beach, bright sun, soft sand, handsome stallions, drinks and total freedom – how can a life of a ruler, filled with problems and exhausting work, rival this?

"I hope you're happy, Luna," Celestia thought, moaning ever so quietly from pleasure – the massage felt terrific – "because I sure am."