Well, Heck

by RocketAlex

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 6390

A dude from another world got sucked into Equestria :/

A guy from a very different world has suddenly found himself in Equestria. He's not sure what's going on or why candy-colored horses are talking to him. He seems to have a bad case of chronic Murphy's Law, so of course, hijinks ensue.
Perhaps he'll learn some lessons about friendship during his stay in Horse World. Perhaps he'll just accidently start a lot of fires. Who knows.

cover art by: me, link in my blog posts to my other socials

also if you downvote and maybe you have some criticism for me, HMU, i'd like to know

Published 2020-12-21 03:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-06 04:21:42 UTC

The Inciting Incident

Out of plain nowhere, a pony with 2 wings and 1 horn is tossed into existence. Like literally tossed. He skids across the forest floor and headfirst into a thick tree trunk. His horn is sharp at the point and imbeds itself into the tree upon impact. He screams in a way that sounds like his vocal cords are being scraped together violently. Nearby birds are startled and fly away. The pony struggles to pull his horn free in a comical fashion; the final pull that loosens his horn sending him backward.

After a few moments spent recovering, he attempts to stand up. He immediately falters and falls on his rump. Looking down at his limbs, he mutters in confusion to himself. I'm... a horse? he realizes. Yes, he is, indeed, a horse. A magical, small horse, to be exact. He accepts that he is a small horse very quickly, and now he has nothing better to do than wander. He manages to get to his hooves and stumbles around like a newborn fawn for a few minutes before heading forward.

Continuing to be wobbly on his hooves for some time, he presses onward through the thick forest he was teleported in. He walks for a while, but he spaces out, so it goes by pretty fast. The trees thin out eventually and give way to a green field with a small town visible not too far from the pony. As he nears it, quaint and colorful houses with a dirt street between the rows come into view. The relief he feels for having reached civilization quickly evaporates when he spots one of the residents of the town and he stops dead in his tracks.

Another small magical horse. This one has no wings or horns and is pink all over, except for her piercing blue eyes. Piercing blue eyes that seem to penetrate his very soul when they notice him. She grins warmly and begins bouncing toward him, a cartoony spring noise accompanying every hop. He tries to back up, but, still not used to his hooves, stumbles backward onto his butt. Too scared to move, he has no choice but to watch with his mouth agape as the pink pony closes the distance between them.

When the pink horse finally reaches him and looms over his cowering form, she speaks. "Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie! You must be new here because I don't know you and I know everypony in Ponyville." Her voice is high-pitched and cheerful. It chills him to his very core. "What's your name?" She pauses for an answer and when none comes, she continues her interrogation. "Wait a second, are you an alicorn? You must be a prince or something, right? You're probably here to see my friend Twilight, she's a-"

He finally works up the courage to interrupt her and says: "What the hell?" His tone is defeated, perplexed, and annoyed all at the same time. "I never heard of 'Ponyville' before, what kingdom is this? And while we're at it, what is an alicorn and why am I a horse?"

"We're in Equestria, silly filly," the other pony, Pinkie Pie, says with a giggle. "Did you bonk your head or something?"

"Yes, actually." He reaches up to rub the bump on his head but is startled to feel a soft, magical horse hoof instead of a hand. He quickly withdraws his hoof and examines it with a deeply confused expression. "You didn't answer my other questions," he complains after looking back up to the pink horse a few seconds later.

"You seem super duper lost. I think you bonked your head way too hard. You should come with me to see my friend Twilight, she'll be able to help you get your memories back."

"Is she a horse too? Also, you still haven't answered me."

"Well, yeah, she's a pony. We are in Ponyville after all."

"Is this the 7th circle of Hell? Was I being too gay in the 1st circle?"

After several minutes of a very circular conversation, our main character gives in and allows Pinkie Pie to lead him deeper into the colorful town. Now that he is in it and surrounded by ponies equally as colorful as their buildings, it begins to make him uneasy. Even so, it is his instinct to follow, although following was a bit difficult with these new, unfamiliar limbs.

The bright-colored ponies around him also make him curious about his own appearance. He slows to stop in front of a shop window, observing his reflection in the glass. His fur is the color of ash and his mane and tail are charcoal black. He looks into his own dark blue eyes for a moment before Pinkie Pie urges him onward. As he continues walking, he looks over his shoulder to watch his wings while he attempts to stretch them.

When Pinkie stops walking-- or uh... bouncing?-- he blindly collides with her behind and stumbles backward. He looks up to see they're at what appears to be a castle made out of glittering gems. If he was more logically minded, he would probably be questioning the logistics behind such a structure. Instead, he groans at the light reflecting off the tower and uses his hoof to shade his eyes. The pink pony knocks on the door (also made out of gems, by the way) and the dark pony turns his attention to it. He hears a sparkling noise as the doorknob is enveloped in a purple glow and twists on its own, swinging the door open. Standing in the doorway is another pony, this one is purple with both wings and a horn. Her horn is surrounded by the same glow as the doorknob for a moment, then both lights go out and the sparkling noise ceases in the same instant. The two pastel ponies exchange greetings before the pink one steps aside and gestures at our main character as he climbs to his hooves.

"Well, come on in, then. Pinkie and Spike can show you to the living room," the purple pony says as she indicates for the 2 visiting ponies to enter. Her voice is much more mellow and warm than Pinkie's, which is a relief to the darker pony.

He hesitantly follows Pinkie Pie inside where he finds a very small purple dragon with green spikes waiting to show him to a seating area. There appears to be a lot of purple happening in this castle. The 3 ponies and a dragon walk down a crystal hallway into a crystal living area with fancy furniture which is, thankfully, not made out of crystal. They all take seats, except for the dragon, Spike, whom the purple pony asks to fetch some tea

The First Oopsie

For a little while, the 3 ponies discuss our main character's situation as they sip their tea. No new information is revealed for most of the conversation until a very important question comes up.

"What's your name?" Twilight Sparkle asks.

"You're not a cop, are you?" he replies.

"No. What?"

"Alright, then. I'm Yakury," he relents. "But if you do end up being a cop, I'll be seriously mad."

"Where are you from? I've never heard a name like that before," Pinkie Pie interjects.

"I'm from the desert-y region to the south of the Terian empire. How far away is this place? This can't be the Overworld, can it? I didn't even go through a portal, all I did was touch a rock and suddenly I'm a horse in Horseland or whatever this is," Yakury explains longwindedly. "Can I go back to Hell, please?"

"Terian empire? Hell?" Twilight parrots in confusion. "I've never even heard of those places." She furrows her brow and levitates her teacup up to take a sip while she thinks.

"I was being sarcastic before when I said this place wasn't in Hell. Now you're telling me it really isn't." He says, deadpanning. While he was talking, Twilight stood up and trotted out of the room with the dragon, Spike, scrambling to keep up with her. The dark pony grimaces as he is impolitely abandoned. "Y'all horses rude as f-"

Pinkie Pie cuts him off when she gasps loudly and hops to her hooves, her gaze directed at his ass. "You have a balloon cutie mark! You must like parties too, then. Look, look!"

She turns and points at her side where, just above her thigh, a design is imprinted on her fur. It depicts 3 balloons arranged in a triangular shape, with the 2 at the bottom being blue and the one at the top being yellow. Yakury examines the symbol curiously before the pink pony bounces to his side and points her hoof at his butt. He looks down and sees that he has a similar design on the same spot as Pinkie Pie. His flank has what looks to be a single blue balloon with a smiley face on it. He turns to look at his other side and finds it has the same symbol. After staring for a moment, he looks back to the pink horse, perplexed.

"The hell are these?" He utters simply.

"Our cutie marks!"

"Our... cutie marks?" He asks, his voice conveying exactly how those two words made him feel. They made him feel dead inside. He squints at her and his grimace widens. "The things you say. They hurt."

"You have a lot of memory loss, geez! A cutie mark represents a pony's special natural talent. Mine is of balloons because I love throwing parties. Yours is of a balloon as well, so you must like parties too. We can set up the coolest Welcome to Ponyville party for you ever!"

"I don't like parties, though," Yakury says, making Pinkie's smile turn to disappointment. "Last time I went to a party, some guy threw a frozen beer at my head so hard I passed out and by the time I woke up, people already drew dicks all over my face with sharpie. Everyone was like 'ooooh, you have so much brain damage already, I'm surprised you can still walk after that last blow'. Like, shut the fuck up. Hey... wait." He pauses his tangent and his expression shifts from disgust to suspicion. He leans to look at his cutie mark and stares for about 30 seconds before sitting upright again and allowing his grimace to return. "Airhead. It means airhead. GODDAMMIT." He facepalms-- or uh... facehoofs?-- with both hooves and lets out a long, drawn-out groan followed by a defeated sigh.

"Your special talent is being an airhead?" Pinkie tilts her head in curiosity.

"This is a nightmare," he eventually says after finishing his sigh.

"Awe, cheer up, pal. I'm sure that's not what it means." She lays her hoof on his shoulder to comfort him. "Twilight's probably off in the library trying to find out about those places you were talking about; maybe she can find a book saying what your cutie mark means too."

He lifts his head like he's about to say something, but instead, he looks up to the ceiling and exaggeratedly cries out. He then spreads his front legs as much as horse tendons would allow and rolls backward off the futon he was seated on, lying spread out on the crystalline floor.

"Cremate me and dump my ashes in a garbage can," he murmurs, his voice growing weaker.

"I think you'd like my friend Rarity. She's super dramatic too."

Yakury is about to retort, but Twilight teleports back into the room with a stack of books in her magical grasp. She proudly stands by a coffee table in the middle of the room and sets the books down before spreading them out so all the covers are visible. Yakury climbs to his hooves to get a look at them. They are in a language he could not even begin to comprehend and he waits for her to explain.

The explanation is one of the most painful moments in Yakury's life. An intelligent four-legged animal trying to relate knowledge of the very fabric of the universe to him is all too familiar. His eyes are blank, the same as his mind. The purple horse went on about planes of existence and ponies researching way in the past and... he really, honestly did not care. Pinkie Pie was sitting quietly out of politeness but he could see her pent-up energy was making her fidget.

This is it, he thought, I am going to die of old age before this horse finishes her spiel.

Just as he is about to give up hope, he notices Twilight's horn lighting up as she moves the books around and flips through pages. Inquisitively, he reaches a hoof up to his own horn and winces when he accidentally pats the bruised top of his head. He furrows his brow for several minutes, deep in thought while the purple alicorn continues her lecture. Suddenly, he puts the information together and snaps back to the present to interrupt Twilight.

"I can do magic like that too, right?" He says, catching the other pony off-guard.

"Wh- huh? Yeah. But anyway, as I was saying..."

Yakury is quick to tune her words out again. He squints and looks down at the table where the books are set out. He focuses hard. He forces his whole brain, as smooth and pearl-like as it is, to concentrate on one of the books. The telltale sparkling noise of magic enters the air as his horn lights up with a dark blue glow. The book begins to glow as well, levitating slightly off the table. His face lights up with excitement and he smirks. In his confidence and lack of skill, he must have lost control over the magic and the book shakes in the air for a moment before erupting into flames. All three ponies jump back and gasp, followed by Yakury exclaiming "Pinkie did it!" In his panic, he ceases his magical hold on the book and allows it to drop onto the table again, quickly lighting the other books aflame as well. The purple alicorn manages to stomp out the fire, but not before all the pages are reduced to ash.

She looms over the pile of ashes sadly, looking down at them like she was looking at a tragedy, a travesty, an atrocity. Several moments of silent mourning pass before Twilight lifts her head to fix her gaze on the other alicorn. She is visibly angry as she speaks. "You realize those books might've been your only chance at going home, right? Those books are rare! It'll take me weeks to find more copies if I can find any at all!"

As she shouts, Yakury's ears flatten against his head and he grins nervously. He's quite a bit taller than her, but now he is cowering, crouching down to be lower than her. Once Twilight finishes her rant, Yakury makes a sudden realization and raises his head a little.

"Wait... you mean... I'm stuck in Horseland...? Forever?" The words leave his mouth cautiously like he fears simply uttering them is what makes them true.

"You very well could be!" Twilight huffs.

"Welp," he says in a defeated voice, "guess it's time to kill myself."

He stands upright again and begins heading for the door when Twilight seizes him with her magic and poofs him back to where he was standing. "I said could, not will." She sounds more disappointed than mad now. "Tomorrow, I'll start searching for other copies of those books. While I'm gone, I'll have my friends keep an eye on you to make sure you don't go setting any more fires or killing yourself or whatever."

"I call Not It!" Pinkie Pie interjects. "I'm all for spontaneity, but this guy's gonna end up accidentally poisoning all the batter or something at Sugarcube Corner."

"Fair enough," Yakury says with a shrug. "I'm guessing your other friends are also horses."

"Yep."

The Second Oopsie

Princess Twilight Sparkle had summoned her friends to her crystalline castle in order to discuss which one of them would babysit our main character. She didn't say it exactly like that, of course, she said it was about pony hospitality and friendliness and the magic of ass-kissing. Again, I'm paraphrasing. He didn't get a chance to meet any of the new four ponies before he was sentenced to stay with one of them. He wasn't really paying attention, so he didn't have enough context to object to their choice, nor did he care enough to refuse. He always welcomes the chance to mooch off of someone else, even if they were a bit of a pain.

He is now under the supervision of Fluttershy, a yellow horse with a soft, breathy voice. She has an insecure demeanor: something Yakury immediately takes note of. She is talking about animals and different activities they could do that fit around her Animal Schedule. He isn't listening. They come to a small cottage just on the edge of the thick forest he had come from and she leads him inside. He follows. He's somewhat used to horse legs now, making him an ideal follower once again.

The inside of the cottage is small, but cozy. There are bird houses hanging from the ceiling and walls, which he thinks are just decorations until he peeks inside of one. He sees a tiny, red bird glaring back at him and he quickly steps away. In the sitting area, there is a bunny laying in a doggie-bed next to one of the armchairs. It perks its ears up and then its head as Yakury approaches to take a seat. The look in its eyes catches him so off guard that he stops in his tracks to stare. It lacks the sugar-coated expressions of the ponies he has met so far. It looks strong and assertive. He meets its gaze and conveys an offer for mutual respect. The bunny blinks slowly at him, accepting the treaty.

The yellow pony notices the silent exchange of glances and quietly explains, "Oh, this is my bunny, Angel. He's a little grouchy sometimes, but he's really sweet once you get to know him."

Yakury chuckles at the name "Angel" as he makes himself comfortable on the green sofa. Once Fluttershy settles into her seat as well, the two ponies enter an awkward silence. Well, as silent as it can be with all the animals around. The yellow pony nervously rubs one front leg with the other and the black pony's expression goes blank. He is waiting.

Eventually, after what seems like eons (but is actually just 45 seconds), Fluttershy finds her voice. "So... do you like animals?"

"Uh, I don't not like them... I'm guessing you really like animals, right?"

"Yes."

Yakury comes to realize how dire this situation is. Even on life-support, they can't even maintain small talk. The dead air is passed dead, it is decomposing. He can see the poor, beaten corpse of their still-born conversation and it strikes him with a sense of urgency. As I've stated before, Yakury is a natural born follower, relying on others to guide his actions. When he finds that guidance missing, left to his own devices, he will eventually begin aimless wandering. His choices now are to wallow in an agonizing silence or say the first thing that comes to his mind.

"I'mma go..."

"What? Oh. Twilight said I really shouldn't let you go around alone."

"Whaaaat? Why would she say such a thing?" His blank expression shifts to a winning smile. "Do I seem like the kinda guy you can't trust out on his own?"

"Uh. Yes, actually. You do," Fluttershy admits.

It takes Yakury a moment to process those words before responding. "Why?" Uncomfortably, he shifts his gaze off to the side for a second.

"Well... Twilight said you're a bit of an arsonist."

His face turns visibly red and his tone becomes defensive as he stamps his hoof in outrage. "She's slandering me! I only caught one thing on fire and it was a complete accident!" He takes an embarrassed step backward before continuing in a calmer voice. "You were talking about showing me around Horseland or whatever, right? We can go out together and you can do your dumb tour thing and I can prove to you that I am very cool and very trustworthy and also Twilight is a slanderer."

"We literally just got here," Fluttershy points out, slightly frustrated. "I need to go take care of the animals first."

"Why didn't you start doing that in the first place?"

"Follow me, if you help me we can leave sooner." She begins walking toward a back door.

Yakury is starting to notice a distinct pattern of selective hearing among these horses. Either way, he does his favorite thing: following. Don't worry, nothing interesting happens for a while, so we can skip ahead a little bit. After an hour or two of feeding birds and brushing bunnies and treating an injured squirrel, they near the end of Fluttershy's chores for the day. He is able to stand back while she finishes up a few things.

As he waits, he realizes something interesting that he hadn't paid any attention to before. The yellow pony has feathered wings like a bird. She uses them to lift herself off the ground and care for animals which resided higher up in trees. He looks over his shoulder, making sure his wings were still there. He stretches them, watching them unfurl. Experimentally, he flaps them with all his strength. The sound of his beating wings is louder than he had expected and immediately notifies Fluttershy that he's up to something.

Seeming to have completed her tasks, she gently lands in front of him. "Where would you like to go first?"

"I haven't eaten since I faceplanted into this hell-scape," he replies bluntly, "so like... 2 days. Y'all eat food? Or do you live off sunlight or something gay like that?"

"Oh, sure. Pinkie Pie works at the Sugarcube Corner. We can go down there to get something to eat and um... maybe uh... you'll make a friend... or something..."

"Pinkie Pie, eh?" Yakury taps his chin with his hoof for a moment, deep in thought, before concluding, "I don't think she likes me."

"Oh, dear," is all Fluttershy could think to say.

"I'm guessing y'all don't eat meat, huh?" An important thing to note is he does not have a southern accent. He simply has a standard American accent and an interesting vocabulary. "'Cuz I could really go for a steak right now, not gonna lie."

She cringes at the thought. "Oh my, no. We're herbivores. Maybe you'd like a hayburger at the café?"

Yakury purses his lips to hold in any more potentially disturbing thoughts and surrenders to Fluttershy's offer. If his past experiences with vegan food are anything to judge by, he predicts he will not like a hayburger. He can only hope the burger is not raw hay.

Once they arrive at said café and the burger arrives, he is overtaken by a whirlwind of emotions as his eyes land on it. It is, indeed, raw hay. Granted, it also has other ingredients, but the hay is the main part. Shock, confusion, disgust, burning hatred, and passionate disapproval rush through him like a tidal wave of despair. How will he ever pick off all the hay when he doesn't even have hands? His life is over, he is sure of it. He whines and lowers his head, readying himself to flop on the ground and groan dramatically. He suddenly stops just before flopping as he notices a unicorn pony magicking food up to their mouth.

With this reminder, he looks back to his meal with a new air of confidence. The last time he magicked something it ended really, super well, so of course now was the right time to try again. He squints at it intently and bites his tongue in concentration. Fluttershy is watching with curiosity as she eats a daisy sandwich. He grins triumphantly when his dark blue magic flips the top bun off to the side to reveal tomatoes underneath. Delicately and with surgical precision, he picks off the icky bits and enjoys a burger that is now up to his standards. He hops to his hooves once he finishes, spreading his wings victoriously and prancing a few steps.

He stops when he realizes at least 5 other ponies in the café are now staring at him. He thinks they're staring because of the commotion, but they're more likely baffled by the fact he is a random alicorn out in the middle of Ponyville.

"Oop- can we go now?" He asks Fluttershy, smiling nervously and still facing the staring ponies.

"But I'm not done eati-"

He forgets about being embarrassed and turns back to Fluttershy as he proudly says "I can take it with us with my cool magic very cool horn!"

He focuses on her sandwich and it begins levitating in his blue glow. For a few seconds, it almost doesn't burst into flames, until it does. Fluttershy squeaks and jumps backwards. He releases the still aflame sandwich, allowing it to drop and catch the wooden table on fire. The ponies around them start to panic, causing Yakury to panic. Wide-eyed, he frantically looks for a solution before quickly flipping the table upside down, smothering the fire in the dirt.

Despite the very small amount of smoke produced, he somehow accidently inhales nearly all of it and coughs like a coalminer. It's a good thing they chose outdoor seating, allowing for a quick getaway. He turns tail and runs a short distance before hopping out of sight around the side of a house with Fluttershy close behind.

Author's Note

1. Yakury speaking in run-on and grammatically incorrect sentences is intentional.

2. The narrator speaking in run-on and grammatically incorrect sentences is not intentional. Please be patient with me, I haven't been in an English class for like a year. If you see anything that's written incorrectly or awkwardly, feel free to point it out.

this is just a silly little thing i wanna make for funsies and i dont expect anyone to read it, but if you do i'd like to hear your opinions. i know OC fics like this are kinda stupid and dumb, so if that's your opinion, don't worry, you dont need to voice it. i am well aware.

The View

Our main character is now in a house made of clouds floating above Horsetown. Ponyville. Whatever. Clouds just feel like cotton balls, apparently. Also some how they are solid objects he can touch. The house is owned by Rainbow Dash, a blue horse with a rainbow mane and tail; a very obnoxious color scheme, indeed. The symbol on her ass is also most likely to represent a rainbow, but it has three colors. Yakury is conflicted on how to feel about this pony. On one hand, the vibrant colors break his edgy, little heart, but on the other hand, he can sense overwhelming amounts of Gay radiating off of her. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen a single male pony yet. Are all of these horses lesbian?

He had been sat down on a couch in the middle of the cloud house and told to stay put. It took quite the effort to fly up this high, so he welcomed the rest. Flying is not as fun as it looks, at least not for Yakury and his brand-new muscles. He felt like an obese goose trying to take off from a lake. Humiliated. He was only able to finally make it up with the help of Rainbow Dash ever so delicately yanking him into the sky by his mane.

Something to note about this "Rainbow Dash" pony is her ""cool"" and """radical""" demeanor. Her mane and tail are spikey and ""cool"", reminiscent of rainbow-punk.

The birth of the rainbow-punk aesthetic was probably the most existentially terrifying period in recent human history. That had been one of the last straws to break the camel's back and send Yakury running back to Hell and abandoning his life in the human world. Now look at him. Being left to his own thoughts once again, the petrifying realization struck him for about the third time since he's been here. Magical pink horse land. What has his life become? Truly hubris is the downfall of man and, as Yakury stares blankly into space, he is forced to accept he is no different.

Anyway, back to the whole Rainbow Dash thing. Her abode is bougie, with cloud pillars beside a fancy cloud staircase and even fancier cloud furniture. The couch he is sitting on looks as though it was fit for a mansion. He almost feels kind of bad putting his ash-covered hooves on it. Why would a pony like her have such an ornate home? An interesting question, indeed. Just kidding, he didn't care.

Since he was given direct orders to stay put, but not told how long to stay put, he has an internal timer ticking away until he's given more stimuli. After about 2 hours, the timer tells him to sleep for 12 hours or until woken by an outside source, and if the 12 hours is completed with no interruptions, his freewill will finally come back.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy check in every few hours, making sure he isn't up to trouble, before quickly leaving. Each time they appear, they reset his timer. When night falls and Dash is asleep, he is left idle just long enough to wake up, undisturbed.

He stands, stretching every limb until he has heard a satisfying pop from every joint and comes to the front door. The obvious reasoning behind bringing him to a cloud house is that one cannot catch a cloud on fire. Because of this, he was able to magic the door open without issue and step out onto a short porch. The cloud ends where the porch ends, a few feet from the door. He stands at the edge, looking down at the town below him. The floating house is drifting slowly, a couple feet every hour. The entrance is parallel with the flight path, so the view is like looking starboard off a fantastical sky-cruise. He can see the streets of Ponyville he had just recently been running through, but from such a different angle. With everyone asleep, the lights are all off, leaving the moon and stars as the only illumination. The soft moonlight emphasizes a curious look in his eyes.

He tests his wings again, beating them for a moment. He stops when he realizes he can simply glide in the wind down to the earth below. Getting back up would be a problem, but it doesn't even cross his mind as he spreads his wings and allows his feathers to gently catch the air. The thirty-foot descent is peaceful. When his hooves make contact with the dirt, a wholesome smile is on his face.

He glances at the homes and storefronts around him. The brightly-colored buildings that made him uncomfortable before are now soaked in moonlight, now painted in inky blacks, silvery grays, and even small pools of pearlescent whites. The atmosphere is calm and serene. He feels he belongs in this scene. He looks down at his hooves and notices all the hoof prints left there from the day. In some places the tracks overlap each other so much it just looks like a beaten trail. They make him feel some kind of longing, but he doesn't know what he's longing for. He steps backwards and watches as his hooves leave their own prints. Something like an existential crisis is brewing in the back of his mind.

He turns his gaze back up to the clouds. He readies himself and jumps into the air, unfolding his wings and catching the wind flawlessly. He circles his way back up the thirty-feet he had just descended, only needing to occasionally give a powerful flap of his wings to gain height. The rest comes naturally, from the wind and the air and the sky. It takes some time, but he eventually reaches the porch of Rainbow Dash's sky house.

He sits at the edge. The view is perfect.

Author's Note

less goofs in here. i just needed a chapter for setting up motivations and stuff. yknow how it is.
next chapter will have some powerful goofs, though
again: if theres like... grammatical errors and whatnot, feel free to point it out so i can fix it. 👌

The Third Oopsie

When the morning came, Rainbow Dash didn't question seeing Yakury out and about. Perched atop a small, individual segment of cloud, he was passively overlooking the town below. After the sun rose and the ponies of Ponyville awoke and began roaming the streets, it took about an hour for him to grow bored of people-watching-- or uh... pony-watching.

He lifts his head up and scans the sky around him. Rainbow Dash and another winged pony (whom is irrelevant) are gathering clouds together, compacting them and moving them in a way that Yakury does not understand the objective of. He's able to take flight again, but when he reaches the other ponies he is forced by his lack of stamina to land on one of the clumps of cloud they were moving.

Rainbow Dash is pleasantly surprised to see he's capable of flying after all. "How are you holding up?" She asks.

"Fine, I guess," he replies idly. "Hey, what are you doing with these clouds?"

"Weather factory has a rainy day planned, so we're making some rain clouds by hoof. It's not really practical, but we don't have much else to be doing until further notice on the schedule."

He doesn't understand most of what she just said, but what he does understand intrigues him. He thoughtfully looks down at the cloud below and manipulates a few pieces of the cottony mass like snow in his hooves. Dash is saying something to him or the other pony, he can't tell because he isn't listening. He's much too focused on this new experience. Taking a piece as big as his head into his hooves, he tries to squish it like he's trying to make a snowball. His blue eyes grow wide as he watches the color of the small cloud darken the more he compresses it. Once it is crushed down to the size of an apple, looking like a mini storm cloud, he lets it go, allowing it to drift into the open air. He looks on happily until it makes a soft rumbling noise and lets out a bolt of lightning that quickly strikes the ground.

A scream rings out through the street. It's the high-pitched scream of a little girl being struck by lightning. Startled, his fight-or-flight instincts kick in and he unconsciously jumps backward, falling off his cloud-land and tumbling to the dirt below. He attempts to tuck and roll, but ends up tucking and rolling directly into a tree. His horn imbeds itself into the thick bark, a situation that feels very familiar to him, and the rest of his body smacks against it before flopping onto the ground. He scrambles to his hooves, awkwardly trying to twist his head around to loosen his horn, which is now basically just a nail on his head waiting to get hammered into wood and set things on fire. After quite a bit of struggling, he pulls it free and stumbles backwards woozily. It seems Rainbow Dash and the other pony are long gone.

The scream had originated from a pink little girl (pony, obviously) who is now glaring with clenched teeth at Yakury. She is wearing a lightly singed dress which had probably been quite gaudy before being struck by lightning. It pains him to see that, beneath the charring, the dress is an even brighter pink than the little girl. Aside from the lightning-strike victim, there are 4 other little girls. A yellow one, orange one, and white one are trying to hold back giggles from the sidelines while a gray one attempts to console the poor girl.

This scene confuses Yakury. He's no stranger to being electrocuted and he swears a lightning strike would cause more damage than a burnt dress. Before he has a chance to think too hard about it, the pink kid shouts "Do you know who I am? I'm rich!" A strangely blunt statement, indeed. One can almost hear the gears turning in his head as he tries to assess the situation.

While he's doing that, the five foals talk it out, which also gives Yakury a chance to pick up their names. Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle, the three that had been laughing, apologize and give their condolences for the pink girl, Diamond Tiara's, dress. Diamond Tiara refuses the apology, saying that they couldn't even imagine how much it had cost and implies that Yakury should pay her for the damages. The three other fillies (and the gray one) explain that he most likely didn't mean to cause any damage, but this does little to calm her tantrum. After a bit more complaining, Diamond Tiara stomps off in a huff with the gray girl following behind her.

Yakury furrows his brow and tilts his head in bemusement as he watches her walk off. Quickly, he looks back at the remaining three kids (who are also looking at him). A couple seconds of awkward staring pass before he meanders toward them, stopping a comfortable few feet away. He glances around uneasily for a moment, then settles his gaze on the kids.

He clears his throat and speaks. "Uh... Is she gonna put a hit out on me? Should I be worried? I don't wanna have to deal with busted kneecaps on top of all the other shit going on."

Author's Note

I'm not well-versed in MLP canon. I'm trying to keep all the ponies as in-character as possible, but uh. Yeah. B)