Applejack turned her eyes away from the setting sun on the horizon.
She felt the dirt underneath her hooves. The packed earth gave a little as she pressed down a foreleg, just enough to tell her she wasn’t on one of those new fancy paved roads that hurt to walk on long without shoes. She lifted a hoof to inspect the layer of earth that had come off on it. Brown and rich and crumbly, its moisture maintained by the clockwork cycles of the rainclouds overhead.
As part of her ritual at the end of yet another workday, she meditated on the dirt. Not too long. Just enough to remind herself that every calorie she had ever eaten came from plants that lived in dirt like this. That every cell in her body had been built out of the nutrients those plants had sucked from the dirt. That one day, when the magic that coursed through her body would leave her, she would become nothing but dirt herself. That that day was now one day closer than the last time she had thought about these things.
She smiled as she thought of what Granny Smith would say to her if she ever said that part out loud. That such a young whippersnapper like herself had no right to think about such things. She was grateful. One more day of “would say”, and not “would have said”.
The dirt. The dirt that fed her family’s apple trees until they grew tall and strong and fruitful. But not this dirt. The dead tree stump in front of her wasn’t feeding on anything.
The next part of her ritual. She sat herself down in front of the tree stump, tipped herself back, and let go, allowing the stump to support the weight of her body and head. It was not the first time she had gotten off her hooves since rolling out of bed at the crack of dawn that morning, but it was the first time without an internal timer counting down in her head until her self-imposed break would be over.
She slouched the brim of her hat forward, so that she could watch the flare of the setting sun. As she often did, she tried to squint past her own knowledge that somewhere in Canterlot, the horn of an alicorn was glowing.
Squint back to how she once thought as a young filly. She could still see it, even at this age. Still see a sun whose rises and sets were not a deliberate action that required the volition of a demi-goddess, but instead were a part of the clockwork rhythms of the world itself. Just like the changing of the seasons or the ripening of an apple once it was bucked.
Part of growing up was accepting the world as it was. At least the apples ripened by themselves. Ripened then spoiled then rotted. She could content herself with that.
She slid the brim of her hat fully over her eyes, and closed them. She let herself feel the bark of the dead tree scratch pleasantly on her back. She relaxed. It was quiet out here, on the very edge of Sweet Apple Acres, away from the road that passed by in front of it that always threatened to disturb her with the hoofsteps of a passing pony or the squeaky wheels of a rolling cart. It was quiet enough to even hear the beating of an approaching pegasus’s wings.
This was not a part of her ritual, but she liked to think of it as a recent addition. She was coming by more and more often these days.
“Howdy, RD,” Applejack greeted, not even opening her eyes.
“Hey, AJ! What’s up?” came the reply in that scratchy voice, not a note different from it had been on the day they met. Applejack could hear her wingbeats slow into a holding pattern, each flap sending a light breeze over her coat.
“Oh, ain’t much. Just another day on the farm.“ Applejack still didn’t open her eyes. The familiarity and rhythm said more than eye contact ever could. “You?”
“You know me! Just another awesome day with the Wonderbolts!” Applejack cracked a smile at that. Hearing that enthusiasm, she could just picture Rainbow Dash on the day she got that acceptance letter. The brightness in her eyes. That grin so wide it could break a planet. But memories were phantoms. She opened her eyes to the flesh and blood.
In a lot of ways, she didn’t look so different. Still the same sky-blue coat and feathers. Still the same rainbow-colored mane, if styled shorter than it once had been. Still the same youthful energy in the way she carried herself. But there was something in the subtle sag of her face. In the lines underneath her eyes.
Rainbow Dash meant every word of what she had said. She still loved every bit about being in the Wonderbolts. She was exactly where she wanted to be in life. But that did not mean the same thing that it used to.
Applejack knew the feeling very well.
She looked into Dash’s eyes.
“I appreciate it, y’know.”
Dash gave her a puzzled look for the non-sequitur. “What’re ya talking about, AJ?”
“Oh, y’know,” came the languorous reply. “Comin’ by so often all the way from Cloudsdale just to keep me company.“
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and tsched. “Cloudsdale’s usually not that far, especially if you’re me. It’s really no big deal!“ She frowned. “Which I guess means that I could’ve done it more often over the years, huh? Not just when I had some other reason to be in Ponyville.”
“No, no. I didn’t mean it like that,” Applejack reassured. “I really do appreciate it. I’m just bein’ honest. It’s been real nice lately, seein’ you more than once a moon.”
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck guiltily. “Still, AJ! I could’ve been more loyal. I know what I said to you and the girls when I moved to Clousdale. That nothing would ever change.”
“Nothin’ ever never changes,” Applejack said flatly. “Besides, it’s not like I see Pinkie or Fluttershy around much, neither, even though they’re still here.” She shrugged. “I understand. Pinkie has her kid, Fluttershy has her animals and Discord, and you…”
Rainbow Dash frowned at that, and looked away. “Yeah.”
“Sorry for bringin’ it up like that. But, y’know.” She looked back out at the horizon. “Just bein’ honest.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything, continuing to sulk and avoid her gaze. Applejack looked at her again.
“Now don’t you feel guilty! I ain’t tryin’ to do that. It’s a part of life. An’ I was serious. It really has been nice, seein’ you around more.” She smiled knowingly. “Reminds me of the old days, y’know? ‘Cept that we’re not gettin’ ready to save the Crystal Empire, or wranglin’ another magical critter from the Everfree.”
Rainbow Dash grinned at that. “Yeah, things were pretty crazy back then, weren’t they?”
“Yeah. And things’ve sure been quiet ‘round here ever since Twi took over.” She looked back to watch the setting sun move further down its tracks. “Everythin’ movin’ like clockwork.”
Rainbow Dash followed her gaze, though it was clear that she didn’t quite see what Applejack saw. It was just another sunset, like so many of the uneventful ones that had passed over the years. She patiently hovered there in the stillness of the moment just the same. She was better at it than she used to be. Still, she told herself. She’d come here with something to say.
“Say…” Rainbow Dash extruded. “I was wondering! Why did you keep this dead old tree around for, anyway?”
That got Applejack’s attention, though her soft, contented expression did not change an iota as she replied. “Oh, y’know. Gotta have somethin’ to rest my back on out here.”
Dash flapped her wings a bit harder to gain altitude, getting a better view of the farm. The dead apple tree was at the center of a semicircle of bare dirt on the edge of the property line, which blew a hole into the neat grid of younger, live ones all around it.
“I mean, that made sense a few years ago, but the new ones are so tall now! Wouldn’t you be more comfortable resting against one of them? With some shade?”
Applejack gave a pony shrug. “I got my reasons.”
“I just don’t get it, AJ,” RD insisted. “Just seems a bit weird to save this one. I mean, it seemed weird back then, too! We all thought it did!”
It was a nice mini-reunion of sorts, despite the reasons for it. Pinkie, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Starlight, and Sunburst. Even Spike was there, having flown down from Canterlot. Between them, it was short work to help the Apple family dig out, root and branch, all of the trees that had died of the apple blight that season. They even had to do the same for the nearby ones that still looked healthy, for fear that the blight was already there, passed along their roots.
But Applejack stopped them from digging out this one, content to just hack it down to a stump herself. Even though that meant they couldn’t finish the replanting within a radius of it, for fear of the hidden poison in its intact roots, still in the ground.
Applejack was as deflective now as she was back then. “Oh, who knows, RD? Maybe I want us to have fewer trees, so that I can have a better shot at doin’ Applebuckin’ Season all by myself this year.”
“C’mon, AJ!” the pegasus pressed, a little more seriously. “Don’t be silly! ”
“I dunno.” Applejack turned to take a look back at the rows of trees in the distance. “It’ll be just me this time anyway. The doc says Big Mac ain’t quite ready to get back to buckin’ just yet. Sugar Belle still can’t buck worth a darn. Don’t wanna bother Apple Bloom none, she has enough on her plate at the School of Friendship. And Celestia knows Granny Smith ain’t in no shape to be doin’ anythin’ right now. I might have to hire fieldhooves just to get everythin’ done in time.“ She turned to look at Dash. “Or I could try to do it myself.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Or get your friends to help? That was the lesson last time you tried it, remember? That we should accept what our friends have to offer instead of trying to do something nocreature could ever do all by themselves? That was like, one of the first friendship lessons!”
Applejack could have but did not retort that something she saw that day proved had Rainbow Dash wrong. There was somecreature who could have done the whole of Applebucking Season all by herself. Twilight Sparkle. Were the signs so obvious even back then?
Instead, she said, “Yeah, I know I’m bein’ silly. But part of me still wants to try. To see if I’d be able to get closer than that time.“
“Well, why wouldn’t you?” Rainbow asked innocently.
“Well, y’know.” Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash. “Ain’t as young as I used to be. Don’t buck as hard as I used to, is all. Wouldn’t wanna try, neither, seein’ what happened to Big Mac last season.”
Rainbow Dash perked up at that. “C’mon, AJ! You don’t need to buck as hard as you used to if you’re smarter about it, which you are! You’re older and— I mean!—” She stopped herself. “You’re wiser now!”
“I guess,” Applejack agreed listlessly.
“Don’t ‘I guess’ me!” Rainbow insisted. “You know how to pace yourself better. You know the trees better, too! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t be able to get at least as many trees you did back then!”
Applejack thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“See?” Rainbow Dash crossed her forelegs smugly. “Getting older didn’t make any difference!”
Applejack just shook her head in response, loosening Rainbow Dash’s forelegs. “No, no. There is somethin’. I’ll go into it already knowin’ that gettin’ them all ain’t possible.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again, having nothing to fill the silence. She sighed.
“I get that.”
She hovered herself to be not far off the ground, side-by-side with Applejack instead of facing her, looking out into the horizon.
“I lost my long-distance speed record last year.”
That got Applejack to look up, making eye contact with Rainbow Dash as she continued.
“Wind Sprint. Just joined the Wonderbolts Reserve. Remember her?”
“Quibble Pants’ daughter, right?”
“Yeah! Great kid.” Rainbow Dash smiled. “I watched her grow up. Taught her everything she knows about flying. So in a way, it’s almost like I broke my own record!” Rainbow laughed hollowly, and Applejack smirked. Rainbow held a smile for a second, before losing it and turning away.
“But, yeah. I haven’t been the fastest Wonderbolt for years now. Not even the second-fastest. Not even…”
Applejack could tell she didn’t want to finish that sentence. “Hey, now! Weren’t you just talkin’ about old lessons? Wasn’t one of them that speed ain’t everything?”
“Of course it isn’t, I know that!” Rainbow protested. “And it was the lesson I needed back then. But I need a different one.” She looked off into the sky. “That speed isn’t everything, but it’s not nothing, either! That one day I’ll slow down so much that we can’t do the same routines we used to. And that being the leader means thinking of the team.”
Applejack could only see the back of Rainbow Dash’s head, but from the break in her voice and the pause that followed, she didn’t need to see the tears well up. Still facing away, Rainbow continued.
“I’m older than Spitfire was when I joined. It’s like I can see my future in front of me, because I can remember what it was like for her. And I can’t outfly it.”
She turned around, a slight puffiness under her eyes the only thing betraying her. She smiled weakly.
“Sorry, AJ. I think most ponies figure this kind of stuff out when they’re a lot younger than I am. I’m being foalish.
“It’s one thing to know, and another to live it. Besides, that ain’t what makes you foalish.” Applejack smirked. “It’s that you’re still re-readin’ those Daring-Do books!”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash protested with a laugh. “They just released another omnibus edition! How could I pass that up?” She smiled at Applejack, then turned her eyes away again.
“But yeah. I’m not really used to looking this far into the future, like, all the time. It was always about the next adventure or the next show or the next season. Never about the next life!”
“I mean, you’ll probably do what Spitfire’s doin’ now, right?” Applejack queried. “Teachin’ at the Academy, designin’ shows and the like.”
“Yeah, probably! But that’s the thing!” She threw up her forehooves as she buzzed around nervously like a bug. “I don’t know that’s what I want to do with my life like I did with joining the Wonderbolts. It’s like…” Rainbow considered as she kept buzzing back and forth. “It’s like that part of my life will become what I do instead of who I am. And that got me thinking about what my life is like outside of the Wonderbolts, I guess!” She chuckled sadly. “I guess that’s why I’m talking about this stuff with you instead of him.”
She finally hovered still to look at Applejack.
“He’s such a great guy, and we get along so well! I thought that should’ve been enough. I thought…” She broke eye contact again. “I thought the grown-up thing to do was to try to make it work. For…“ She sighed. “For a few years now.” She looked back at Applejack with a frown. Applejack’s expression was neutral.
“I mean, sometimes it is.” She shrugged. “Sometimes it ain’t. Maybe the grown-up thing is to be okay with only knowin’ what you know. Even if that means you don’t know some things for sure.”
“Yeah, maybe…” Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her neck with a forehoof, looking away again. A stretch of silence passed. She looked back.
“You know, AJ, I’ve been thinking of moving back to Ponyville lately.”
“Really?” Applejack’s voice was slightly skeptical. “Retiring early?”
“Oh, no!” Rainbow chuckled. “I mean, I still have a few years left in me! But the team runs itself more these days. And like I said, it’s usually not that far!” Rainbow looked out towards where Cloudsdale was now, a fluffy dot in the yellowing sky. “And when it is or if I need to stay overnight, I’ll just stay at the Academy like I am now. Besides, it’ll be good to be away for a while.”
Applejack considered this.
“Moving back to the Cloudominium, then?”
“Nah.” Rainbow Dash’s gaze turned towards the sky above Ponyville, where her old home stood. “I mean, half of it’s, like, a weird museum dedicated to me now. I thought that Scootaloo would’ve grown out of the whole fan club thing by now but…” She shook her head. “I think I’ll just whip up something next to it. Something small, maybe just one room, even. Call it the Nimbungalow.”
That got a chortle and a small groan out of Applejack. Rainbow Dash smiled.
“Sounds small,” Applejack commented.
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash agreed. “But the Academy dorm hasn’t been so bad. It’s actually been pretty nice, living humbly.“
Applejack whistled. “That’s a mighty big change!”
“Hey, not that big!” Rainbow protested.
“Ah, just ribbin’ ya.” Applejack smiled. “Just sayin’. You sure have changed a lot these past few years, RD.”
“Yeah, I have.” She smiled. She then realized something, and blinked. Her voice found some steel. “I have, haven’t I? But isn’t that what we’re supposed to do in life? Change and grow? That’s what alive things do.”
Rainbow Dash was not quite making eye contact. Applejack knew she was looking at the dead stump behind her head.
“Y’know…” She started, stopped, then started again. “Y’know, Sugar Belle tried’a set me up with a pony from her old village a while back.“
“Really?” Rainbow Dash was genuinely surprised. “How come I’ve never heard about this?”
“Because I didn’t tell anypony.” Applejack’s voice was matter-of-fact. “It didn’t feel too good. She was very nice and all, but she knew everythin’ about me. About all of us! She even brought out her old copy of that dang Friendship Journal, and asked me about the stories in it. I swear, if it hadn’t been a date she’d’ve asked me to sign the darn thing. Can you believe that?”
“Yeah!” Rainbow agreed all to eagerly. “I mean, I know what that’s like, but I thought that was because I was a Wonderbolt. But, uh, weird thing to do on a date, yeah.”
“Even if she hadn’t done that, it still would’ve been weird. She was starstruck. But it makes sense.” Applejack shrugged. “She was one of the ponies we rescued from Starlight all those years ago. But I didn’t remember her at all. Heck, I don’t remember her name now.”
“Hey! It’s not like I remember all of my fans, either. I mean, that’d be pretty hard!” Rainbow Dash paused. “I mean, that wasn’t bragging! It really would be hard for me.”
“Yeah, I get ya.” Applejack smirked. “But it fits you, y’know? Not like me. I mean, I’ve always felt different from y’all.”
Rainbow Dash was confused. “What do you mean?”
“All the adventurin’ we did when we were young.” Rainbow Dash frowned at that, as Applejack continued. “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any of it one bit. Y’all were the best friends a gal could ever ask for, and we helped a lot of critters with a lot of problems. Saved Equestria more times than I can count!” She chuckled to herself. “But all y’all were so much more different at the end of it than where y’all started. Me?”
She scooped up a hoofful of dirt next to her, then let it sprinkle down.
“Everythin’ I ever wanted was always here, where I started. Runnin’ the farm. Helpin’ my family. Helpin’ raise Apple Bloom, and now Little Mac.”
She turned her head to look back at the distance to the farmhouse. Rainbow Dash followed her gaze.
“I can’t help but think of Big Mac as livin’ the life I would’ve lived without all this Elements of Harmony and destiny nonsense. Again, I love y’all, but are his friendships any less meaningful just ‘cause they’re ponies around town and not the Council of Friendship?”
“Ponies around town and Discord!” Rainbow Dash pointed out with a smirk. Applejack smirked back.
“Point is, maybe I could’ve done all that destiny stuff without losin’ track of what was really important. That I do regret.”
Rainbow Dash pushed back. “Hey, you know what you said about part of growing up? It’s learning that there’s no use having regrets, too. We’re here with what we have and who we are. Just gotta know what to do with what’s in front of you.” She paused for a moment, hovering there in the air in front of Applejack.
“You’re not the only one,” she said.
Slowly, she lowered herself to the ground until the end, when she dropped down with a bit of force, planting all four hooves firmly in the dirt. She stood still, silent. More than a few moments passed, with Applejack and Rainbow Dash looking at each other. At last, Applejack broke the silence.
“You really have changed.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Where have you been for the last ten years?”
“Here.” Applejack nodded. “Fair point, though.”
“Of course I’ve changed. Can you imagine the old me mentoring all the rookies I have? Or being a Cool, Responsible Aunt?” Her voice grew a bit more serious. “A lot of things have changed.”
Applejack considered this for a bit. Something in her eyes was different now. She just smiled.
“Do you wanna see why I kept this thing?”
Rainbow Dash nodded, and Applejack leaned forward and got herself up back on all fours, moving away from the stump. “You’ll have to come in real close.” She placed a forehoof on the spot where the back of her head was resting.
Rainbow Dash walked on the dirt until she got up close enough that her muzzle was almost touching Applejack’s hoof. She had to be, to make out the faint traces of the carving on the bark in the dimming sunlight. A heart shape, with a single apple and a single diamond next to each other inside of it.
“It was right after we’d come back from the Crystal Empire, the first time. Back when we were still hidin’ it from all y’all. But you know Rares. She couldn’t hide a feelin’ to save her life.”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Wow. We were so young back then.“
“We were!” Applejack agreed. “And I knew she’d’ve wanted me to get it gone that day, but I just couldn’t bear to get rid of it. To be honest, it was just me bein’ petty. I wanted it to be a reminder that she grew up right here in Ponyville, just like me. No matter what she gets up to up there in Canterlot with Twi, that’ll never change.” Applejack laughed to herself. “Seems so silly now. Don’t think I could get myself to feel that way again if I tried.”
“That’s good!” Rainbow Dash asserted. “I mean, that doesn’t sound like a good thing to hold on to.“
“Nope.”
Rainbow Dash considered the tree stump again.
“How do you feel about it now?”
“Now?” Applejack’s eyes went to a corner. “Now it’s just somethin’ I’m used to, I guess. Bark feels good against my back when I rest on it.”
“No, not about the tree!” Rainbow blurted. Her voice then softened. “I mean, you know what I’m asking about.”
Applejack considered it for a few moments. Without saying a word, she took a hoof and crushed the dead bark with it until nothing of the heart remained. Rainbow Dash laughed worriedly.
“A little dramatic, don’t you think?”
“Maybe she rubbed off on me.” Applejack smiled. “Nice to think of it that way.”
Without skipping a beat or giving warning, she scooped up a hoofful of dirt and threw it at Rainbow Dash. The pegasus reflexively covered herself with a wing, which meant the dirt got all over her feathers.
“Hey!” she protested. “What the hay are you doing?”
Applejack did not answer with anything but a giggle, as she kept throwing hooffuls of dirt at her.
“Now who’s the foalish one?” Rainbow Dash laughed with exasperation.
“Still you,” Applejack replied smugly, as Dash began trying to throw back her own clumps of dirt. But the earth pony was clearly winning this battle. Though not without casualties, as her hat fell to one of the pegasus’s volleys.
At that insult, she leapt on her, wresting her to the dirt. Clouds of the stuff kicked up as they rolled around in it, coating them both. It was far less noticeable on Applejack’s orange than on Rainbow Dash’s sky blue.
Applejack quickly prevailed, pinning Rainbow Dash to the ground with her forehooves on her wings. Dash rolled her eyes.
“Okay, maybe I’m the foalish one,” Applejack admitted.
“This really isn’t fair, you know!” Rainbow Dash whined. “I can’t do anything without my wings.”
“If I let go of yer wings, you could blow me away with a single flap.”
“How ‘bout I promise that I won’t use ‘em for that?”
“Sure.” Applejack smirked. “I’ll trust ya.”
She stepped off her wings, and Rainbow Dash immediately spread them wide— to wrap them around Applejack’s head. Applejack could feel the feathers of her wingtips caress the back of her neck. She had to admit it. Those feathers were soft. As soft as those lilac eyes that stared back up at her, reflecting the very last light of a sun that had already dipped below the horizon. As soft as those lips looked under that slightly glossy sheen of pegasus-grade chapstick. Were they really that soft?
They were. They tasted like dirt and salt and sweat and enough.
