Cheerilee sighed, interesting herself in the first sentence of a book report she had yet to read.
It went something like 'Cheerilee sighed, interesting herself in the first sentence of a book report she had yet to read.'
She began to feel vertigo, and had never been more relieved to be interrupted by the sound of a small child entering her classroom on a weekend.
"I- Diamond Tiara! It's a Saturday, school's out. Hearthswarming break started yesterday."
"It's not a school matter. I- I need a friend."
Cheerilee wrinkled her brow in confusion.
"You have a few friends. Friends closer your age."
Diamond Tiara winced.
"I need a friend with a bank account."
"What's wrong with your current one?"
"She's the reason I'm coming to you. I need help with a Hearthswarming present."
Ah. Cheerilee set down the book report, glad for the excuse to not look at the pile of paperwork it sat upon. Her student moved closer to her desk with a conflicted look on her face, taking a seat before her and forcing herself to look up.
"Okay, do you... Have something planned?"
Internally, she prayed for said bank account.
"Err...No. that's the thing." The girl scratched at the back of her head, unconsciously twirling a lock of hair.
She continued, "I was... Hoping you could come with me and help me buy something. Or just... Pick something at least. I don't want something too costly, just..."
Cheerilee was beginning to pick up on something, but she couldn't tell what it said.
"Are you sure this is the only reason you-"
"Please, ma'am. I need you to do this with me."
As soon as it slipped out she bit her lip. Cheerilee didn't change her expression, but rested her chin, continuing to watch her curiously.
Something else was going on, and she had to tread carefully.
"Here, I'll make you a deal."
She observed her student curiously, watching her expression change to trepidation. She remained silent for a second, just to see if it would shift again, before finishing.
"I'll take you shopping, and I'll help you pick. But you have to talk to me, and you have to answer any questions I have."
Tiara matched her stare for a moment, as if challenging her. Then she exhaled, keeping her face straight.
"Yes ma'am. I agree."
They shook forelegs, Cheerilee taking care to remain gentle with her grip.
The crisp winter air cut under pelts, standing Cheerilee's hair on end. She nestled her head back into the scarf around her neck, closing her eyes softly. She walked with her student along the streets calmly, others occasionally shooting them looks. Tiara was long past her days of looking hot, buying things they cannot, killer clothes, and kicking nerds in the nose, but most of town still remembered otherwise.
Cheerilee took the eyes in stride, nodding politely at passerbys before turning to the student she was escorting.
"There's a store up ahead, we should be able to get something nice there."
"Yes, mom, I am aware. I've been down here before."
Cheerilee said nothing, keeping a keen eye on her as they made their way down the streets.
"Tell me, why couldn't you have payed for this yourself?"
"My purchases are being... Monitored."
Cheerilee squinted at her out of sight. Still, she didn't push it. She changed her line of questioning instead.
"You've been quiet since the school election.Has everything been going alright for you?" At home?
"I've been fine. I just haven't been in the mood for much. That's a good thing, right? Don't want to go annoying the other students."
Both of them kept their faces ramrod straight, although neither were facing each other. Both were acutely aware that a silent battle was occurring between them, and both had a distinct suspicion of who would win.
"Your grades have been slipping."
"School's out. Can we stop caring for a month and a half?"
"School's not what I care about. You haven't spoken to anybody but the Crusaders since the election. You haven't even spoken to-"
"We're here."
Tiara bluntly interrupted her, stopping dead in her tracks and looking sidelong at the store's doors. Signs advertising sales were plastered up on the glass windows. Cheerilee nodded professionally, shutting up.
She wasn't sure why. School was out.
"I- Silver Spoon! It's 5 PM, school's out. Hearthswarming break started already."
"It's not a school matter. I- I need help with a friend."
"You have a few friends. Which one?"
"Which one do you think, Miss?"
Cheerilee nodded, immediately getting down to the meat of the matter. "What's wrong? How can I help?"
"I need help with a Hearthswarming present. Well... A gesture, really."
"What does this gesture need to say?"
Nothing was said. The store was quiet. Few customers perused the shelves, save the two newcomers silently looking among an aisle of trinkets. Meaningless, thoughtless. Tiara ran through her mind in turn with each item.
A year ago she would've bought Silver expensive jewelry, or something gold, or something along those lines; But it was always just money. She threw it around because it existed, and there was no thought in it.
Breaking that was harder than she expected.
"Look at this, Tiara."
Tiara turned back to her teacher, and the row of boxes she was in front of.
"Is she into any kind of woodwork or crafting? You know her better than me."
The box was a set of tools and wood, prepackaged with some instructions for basic projects. It was her first confrontation with the fact that she genuinely couldn't remember Silver's interests.
"I wouldn't say that. You're her teacher." Tiara couldn't even claim to be her friend.
"Maybe so, but I've never really gotten to know her. Either of you, really. For the longest time you were just the mean girls in the front rows, who would bother..."
Cheerilee rightfully decided to fall silent, as her student looked the box over. She would have to wait a while before she spoke again, she decided; and it would be carefully calculated. Kids weren't stupid, and she wasn't about to speak uncaring of their emotions as if they were.
Tiara put the box back. Too many sharp edges.
"Those... Blank flanks have no shame." Tiara spat the term bitterly, eyes narrowed, beyond angry.
"They ruined my party. We ought to go pay them back."
"Don't, Diamond." Silver calmly soothed, "It's not worth it.
The two sat at a table in the corner, a sad looking Silver comforting her friend as she glared across the room at the three chipperly talking at the other end of the room.
Tiara bore a new addition on her flank and head; the same namesake, shiny and expensive. She wasn't sure when the former had appeared; perhaps in her sleep, the night after the recent ball her family had attended.
The tiara had been set on her head before they went that night. It had remained as a symbol the entire party; She hadn't spoke, she hadn't thought. She had smiled, curtseyed, and looked pretty.
When the ball ended and she had returned home, she hadn't taken it off. She had looked at herself in the mirror for a good while, and decided to keep it. She didn't know why, but the thought of removing it scared her.
Now it was branded to her, and the tiara had never left her head since.
"Silver, this is m- our party. We should get the attention."
"I know, but just let it go. We'll see them tomorrow. Come on, let's get home."
As they excused themselves from their table, light reflected off the tiara's sharp edges. A flowing dress of light spots danced around her, leaving no openings for very long.
Cheerilee searched her opponent for an opening, holding her breath deftly with a tight grip.
The tension snapped, and she released with an exhale.
"How did you meet Silver Spoon?"
It landed perfectly, and she heard relaxation and comfort in the response.
"It was back in Kindergarten. She was seated in her desk, in the corner of the room. Nobody was with her. She told me later she was new, knew nobody. She had stayed away from others for most of her life."
"And you knew how that felt."
"And I thought she had some anger I could use. Don't go into psychotherapy."
Cheerilee wasn't surprised at her deflection. But she was surprised at how it was done.
"Maybe so. But I think you also saw yourself in her. Little girl in an alien environment, with a difficult family struggle. Alone and by herself."
"No, that wasn't my reasoning. I know that for a fact."
"And why is that?"
Tiara remained silent, feeling eyes burn into her back.
"Because if I had, I would've understood her. I didn't. I never did, and I still don't. I want to, with all my heart, but I can't. I can't look at her and see someone who's like me."
She leaned her head against the display.
"I can't see that with anyone." she bitterly spat.
Diamond sat in a classroom, alone with Silver. The room was unfamiliar, new. They had been introduced to it just today; the first day of Elementary school.
"I'm- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hit you, I just... Lost control. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just.... don't talk to those boys like that. They just made a mistake."
Spoon let Diamond rub her sore cheek, aware it was all she could do.
"They... Okay. You're right. I'm sorry."
The apology was meaningless and thoughtless. She wasn't sorry. She didn't know why, but she wasn't.
But when Silver had looked at her, in the seconds before she was hit, her eyes were full of anger. Diamond had been doing the wrong thing. That was the only reason she knew. Silver's eyes had cut through the fog too late, seconds after she was hit.
Silver looked at her now, and her eyes were filled with compassion. So much of it.
"I'm sorry. I haven't been thinking straight likely. I've been tired, and mom's been... upset. Angry. But that's not an excuse. I'm sorry."
Silver smiled gently at Tiara.
"I forgive you."
"What do you mean?" Cheerilee carefully prodded.
Tiara huffed. "I don't know how else to put it to you. I can't even think of anyone else as.... I don't know, ponies. I don't think of them having feelings or emotions like me. They're just extras, and I don't think about how much I can hurt them. I've been trying, I have really have been. But it's not working. There's something seriously wrong with me."
Tiara finally turned to face her, still managing to keep a straight face after so long.
"That's why I came to you. Not because of money, or anything like this, but because you're so compassionate. You're compassionate to so many, and you see the good in everyone. That's what I need. When me and Silver were... 'Friends', I seriously hurt her. I didn't think of her. I belittled and insulted her, and she sat there and took it. For years now, she's put up with me. I can't screw this gift up. I have enough of a clear mind now to see that, but... not enough to know how to fix things. I need your help."
She looked so small, standing before her teacher, looking up at her, entire body shaking, but still managing to match her eyes.
Cheerilee took a step forward, gauging her reaction. An often talked about side effect of becoming a teacher was having to become a friend to her students. A less often talked about side effect was having to become a therapist to her students. A teacher was an adult face, someone kids looked up to when they found they couldn't even look up to their parents. They were beacons of knowledge and kindness, and part of pushing that stigma meant keeping it, even after hours.
Part of pushing that stigma meant learning that real stress wasn't a test, or a graded paper, or a late attendance.
Real stress was seeing someone weaker than you, in a life you could never understand, coming to the last person they think they can trust, whether they want to or not- and that person being you. Sometimes she had to talk them through their problems, problems they were too young to even understand were problems; Their parents, their friends, their homes. They would slip out casually, during a conversation where their eyes were so full of innocence.
Other, rarer times, she had to convince them that there was still hope. She didn't know which was worse; when a student didn't understand how bad they had it, or when they did.
She never envied high school teachers.
She had dealt with a lot. This was something she had never thought she'd encounter in a student, and she had to tread lightly.
"Diamond, School's out. I'm not saying this as your teacher. I'm saying this as a friend. You don't need a grand gesture or gift. And I have her proof right here."
Silver wasn't wearing her pearl necklace. Cheerilee was surprised she hadn't noticed yet.
"I haven't seen her lately. I'm positive she's been avoiding me, and I have a distinct suspicion of why."
Silver then drew a note, folding it and setting it on Cheerilee's desk. Lined notebook paper, torn into a half.
"Next time you see her, please give it to her with this. Tell her it's from me."
"I will. Thank you for trusting me with this."
"Of course. School's out. You're my friend."
Tiara held it forlornly, sighing.
She opened the note, quietly reading the lines on it.
I forgive you.
Tiara bit her lip.
"Of course she thought of this."
"You don't need a present for her to understand you're sorry. She already knows that. All you need to do is accept. The greatest gift you can give right now is to confront her, and say she's still your friend."
Tiara looked around the store. Trinkets and sales and gifts surrounded her. It was just money. There was no thought in it.
"I... I lied earlier. Again." She admitted, "I did care for Silver at first. I was much younger. I didn't realize my mother.... I still wanted her approval, and I was so much happier. Happier not knowing the truth."
She was beginning to shiver. Cheerilee silently shrugged the scarf off her shoulder, passing the olive branch to Tiara, She took it gratefully, eyes lowered.
"As I got a little older, I realized how little she cared. I stopped caring too. I became worse and worse, more and more toxic, and... She stuck with me through it all. Even now... When I can't even garner sympathy... She's still thinking of me. She's still my friend."
Cheerilee let her vent, choosing where she spoke carefully. This was something she had needed for a long time.
"You've matured so fast for someone your age. Maybe there is something wrong with you; But compassion still exists within you. You still have such a big heart for your closest friend. I don't think I need to tell you what to do next."
Diamond approached her friend, and quietly embraced her. It said 'Thank you.'
Cheerilee returned it, resting her chin on Diamond's tiara-less head. She was safe to do this now. Her expensive jewelry had been removed. Her edges had been filed.
"When you've done that, come to me. I want to find you someone who can help you more." Cheerilee calmly soothed.
In her grasp, Diamond looked so big.
She looked so small.
Diamond didn't have to hide her expression when the girl looked up. She was more than happy to be seen with a comforting smile.
"You promise?" She asked quietly.
"I promise! We'll be good friends."
"How do you know?"
She was seated in her desk, in the corner of the room. Nobody was with her. The room's bright colors and painted walls were illuminated by soft light through the windows. The final bell had rang a few minutes ago; the room was completely empty. Nobody but the seated Spoon and the standing Diamond, smiling down at her new friend.
"Because I like you. I promise."
Spoon smiled up at her, hopefully.
"We'll be the greatest friends." Diamond said.
Silver believed her.
School was finally out. The two left together.
