All I want for Heart Warming...

by Firefoxino

Rating: mature
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Horror, Death, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1493

Faint Hope is trying to understand, why is every pony acting so strange, tears never brought back anyone did they?

Faint Hope is just a filly who lost what for many would be a rock, something that they always believed immovable and maybe eternal, she didn't understand why it should have made a difference for her. Her heart now was telling something, she don't know what. But she will find out, and who knows, maybe she will go visit grandma the eve.

This story was written as part of a gift exchange by reviewers from Nailah's Reviewer Mansion, as a gift for Stinium_Ruide

Published 2020-12-23 14:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-12-23 14:00:01 UTC

Is to be.

Little Faint Hope had only one thing in her tiny mind, to be able to connect with her parents. She didn’t understand, they were crying over something too silly for her to understand, I mean when someone is dead how could tears bring them back? She didn’t know, she wandered then and continued to do so for a while.

Later at home they yelled at her, she didn’t understand. Why would she be a monster? It didn’t make any sense, she didn’t have any trait that would be described as monster-like. She shrugged and went to her room, why would she bother to listen to those who say something so weird anyway.

Her mother cried that night, again she didn’t know why. She was saying something about being a failure but Faint couldn’t understand, it didn’t make any sense to her mind. Her parents said that when in doubt and confusion like she was now she had to listen to her own heart.

But the heart was silent, so she shrugged and went to bed. Another day will come and she will be out there being… There. Now that she thought about that it didn’t sound that good. She started to think and remember, how the other fillies smiled at the silliest of things like gifts or compliments, Faint Hope couldn’t even comprehend how that would make anyone smile. She didn’t think of happiness, she never knew it so why would she know the word?

She turned and churned in her bed, it was a normal cold night and as always she would go into a normal night and simply wake up the next day, she heard about dreams, never saw them so she chalked that off as a hoax. She closed her eyes and woke up the next day, ready for a day of not much,

Her day went on as normal as always, breakfast, walking to school. She attended her school class and stoically learned what Cheerlie wanted her to know, during recess something happened.

“Hey Hope, still there being useless?” The noisy, overconfident and obnoxious voice of Diamond said.

“Hi.” She said, like she always does.

“Hi? Just HI!?” Diamond screamed clearly angered.

“I see you are angry, why?” Faint questioned the filly.

“I-you, of course I’m angry you absolutely blew me off like I was nothing!” She screamed with now ragged breath,

“I don’t understand, you are saying that me answering your introduction made you angry. You are silly just like my parents.” She replied evenly, carefully.

“S-silly? Are you insane? Are you even a pony?” Silver Spoon interjected, now finally revealing herself from behind Faint, having gotten there without making herself noticed.

"Hm? I don't get it. Why wouldn't I be one?" she asked utterly and completely confused now.

"Your granny died!" Diamond shouted with blurry and watery eyes. "How could you say that's silly?"

"I don't get why should I cry about it, I don't feel like crying and it's not like crying will bring her back right?"

"You monster…" That said they fled, they retreated into the confines of the school leaving Faint Hope completely alone in the now colder day, she stood up and went back in. No reason in trying to understand what clearly wrong and silly ponies say.

The day was over and Faint Hope returned to her home, she wasn't greeted by her parents who chose to remain on the couch hugging each other, it seemed weird so she shrugged, took a sandwich out of the fridge and simply went to her room.

That night she woke up in the middle of the night, she went downstairs and trotted around the house. An idea struck her that night, what if she could actually talk with her granny? Mom and dad said that she went up far over the sky and clouds.

She was no Pegasus but even she knew that that was a lot, but maybe just maybe, from the tallest building she could still hear her? She didn't know so she asked her heart, again, silence. They say silence is like an agreement so she donned her winter clothing and opened her door, she stole a glance inside one more time before closing the door. She never understood the needs of having a tree inside anyway so she ignored it.

She trudged towards the clock tower of Ponyville. That was the tallest building so it made sense, and so she went on. In the cold of night Luna was out and looking at her in earnest which only gave her a temporary respite from the witness of the ground.

She arrived at the clock which shone under the moonlight for some reason, she was a bit unsure still of what she was doing, her heart though remained silent on that so she continued on. The door was locked obviously so she had to climb through a window, not the hardest thing to do for an earth pony.

Once inside she looked at the complex machine that rested inside the tower, she noticed the complexity of it all and how it worked together, she also noticed that one gear was misplaced and left an empty spot in the whole machine, still it worked without it and so Faint Hope climbed further up.

She arrived at half the height now, she looked outside, how the city looked small, peaceful and welcoming, the snow made it that much more similar to one of those crystal balls filled with water. She looked at the emptiness beneath the window, how there was nothing between her and the fluffy ground. She looked away and continued on her hiking.

She finally did it, she was now on the top where the bell rested, she looked at the smooth round surface of it, to the touch it was more than cold it sent shivers all around her body. She stopped that and stared into the dark night.

"Grandma? Can you hear me?" she asked the void, the nothingness although never answered back, she shouted again and again but nothing not even a whisper.

"This was a silly thing, I don't do silly." She said now disappointed in herself. She felt a little something from her heart, a sensation of looking down, she did as ordered and the sensation became much more prominent.

"That must be it." She said still trying to grasp what she was feeling, feeling anything that was such a weird concept. "I just need to get higher, my heart is telling me to."

And so she ascended further now gripping the cold and slippery roof of the clock tower, it was hard but she managed, she finally got to the highest point, the wind howled away and she shouted once again.

And once again, nothing. She didn't know what to say then, her parents lied to her, she didn't feel any different and that bothered her. Maybe.

She looked once again down her heart fluttered and she stepped that much closer to the edge, to the clouds below. In a moment that thousands will describe as impossible, as to have been caused by the cold or some other unfortunate accident she fell down.

That's what you will hear what everyone wants to hear but the truth remains that Faint Hope followed her heart she didn't think that maybe her parents simply never thought she would attempt it but she did it anyway, she jumped to follow her heart. Never before she has done that and never again she will.

The fall was brief, it would be silly to think it would be any less. She knew the fall would have been short, brief. She knew that much and yet she felt it as if it lasted hours, in a second she felt her heart flutter again, she was never this close to feel anything and this made her oh so happy.

When the ground was right there, mere meters from her she understood, her heart, what it was telling her was simple, "Don't jump, I'm scared." now she was scared. And it made her so happy, to be normal to be a pony not a monster as they said or a creep, to be just her. Maybe her granny truly gave her her heartwarming gift, to finally be normal. "All I wanted for Hearth Warming…"

She hit the ground both happy and scared she wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

The day soon after, news spread, a bloody angel went down from the sky. The celebrations went on hold, there was much to do, clean, a burial and a lot of comforting. But that didn't matter to Faint Hope, she was now where she wanted to be right? Where her grandma is, in the sky above the clouds.

Then why is it so empty, cold, and black?

Why was it so…

…

Author's Note

Hope you'll like it :D