Author's Note

Wow! This was longer than I expected! I was supposed to pump this out in a week, not 3. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the story! I have a surprise regarding Nate and Pinkie in the next chapter, and I can’t wait to show all of you! But, to be nice to everyone, I have to work on my other stories first, then circle back to this one.

As always, a thank you to CommanderApplejack for proofreading this chapter.

And, to anyone that didn’t read my post, I will be introducing Domino Squad and Sunset in the chapter after the next one, so I hope you enjoy that!

A Wedding? Let me get my suit (Part 2)

“You know, in the movies, sneaking into a highly guarded city on top of a train looks so easy.”

“Yeah kid, tell that to my sore ass.”

Sully, Nate, and Sam curled up in their bags, trying not to get hit by the sacks of potatoes above them. When they heard back from Luna’s future self about what needed to be done, they worked with haste to get the trio in. Being one of the largest events in Equestria history, security was tight around the capital. The last time Luna checked, a big impenetrable pink shield surrounded Canterlot. Flying above it, watching every section of it, was no less than 5 battalions of Pegasus guards. The main entrance to pass the walls was managed by some of Celestia’s personal guards, with another battalion of Royal guards behind the wall to come in at a moment’s notice.

Each potential entry was searched 3 times by three different unicorns, and all belongings of theirs dumped and riffled through before being returned. Each entry was denied access except if they could show proof of residence for Canterlot, or if they had an invitation. Entrance by carriage was impossible as well, as they were subjected to the same search, and the carriage was forced to be parked outside the walls until their owners came back and left.

Due to Luna needing her guards to train and prepare for what will surely be their doom, she was unable to help them gain entrance into the capitol grounds. Fortunately, some of her guards who were about to go back for leave were able to help them. They threw the adventuring trio into some potato sacks and piled them in the very bottom of the transport car.

“HALT!” A voice shouted. Due to not being recognized by the trio, it seemed to be one of the search guards assigned to the capitol entrance. “State your name, the reason of entrance, and any possessions you are bringing in.”

“Sir!” One of the Lunar guards shouted, “Corporal Dusk, of Her Majesty of the Night Princess Luna’s Lunar guard, accompanied by Private Eventide and Private Moonlight! We are on leave back to the capitol, and due to convenience, was attached as the guards for this train shipment. This shipment includes 300 ears of corn, 300 heads of cabbage, and 300 kilograms of potatoes, SIR!”

As Dusk shouted the items off, a Solar guard poked through the items in the car. He eventually came to the potatoes, and as expected, used magic to scan the entire pile.

Now, if he had actually decided to look through the bags one by one, he would have come upon the irregular shapes of the humans in the potato sacks, foiling their plans. However, he didn’t. Thanks to some ‘top-of-the-line’ spell writing, he used a new spell that allows him to scan the area and detect anything shaped irregularly. Now, this spell would have given off the 3 humans, but Luna gave them a trick up their sleeve. Thanks to some research that took them the better part of yesterday, they found that lead lining was capable of shielding from the spell. With this, they sewed lead padding into their potato sacks and were thrown in.

“Private Sunspot!” The commanding officer called, “Is there anything in there?”

“No sir!” The guard replied, “All seems to be well with this shipment!”

“Good!” The sound of quill tips scratching and a *Ktch* sound indicated the shipment manifest was signed, and they felt the train lurch forward into the city. They held for another ten minutes before they pulled into their stop. They felt the familiar sign of magic as the bags above them were lifted up and out, and when the sounds of porters and waiters left the car, they were pulled out of the pile, and brought around, before having their bags opened to the sight of the Lunar Guards. Each man clambered out of their bag and faced the guards.

“Alright, here’s the stop.” The Corporal told them. “We’ll give you a distraction, and you guys slip past the guards into the main city.”

“What about you guys?” Nate asked, “What do you do when we're done?”

“Officially,” the Private known as Eventide said, “We’re supposedly going to go on leave. Actuality?”

“We have to prepare for the incoming invasion,” Moonlight stepped up. “We’ve been ordered to map out and prepare exit points into the catacombs and directions of them for any would-be survivors, then we have to prepare for the spellcasting.”

“What spellcasting?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Since your report mentioned that Princess Luna, Princess Celestia, and Princess Cadence would, unfortunately… ‘not make it’, we’ve been ordered to prepare a spell that Princess Luna created.” Eventide spoke.

“With the spell,” Corporal Dusk continued, “The rise and set of the Sun and Moon will continue even if the Princesses are to die. This will ensure any survivors live should no-one be capable of raising or lowering the sun themselves.”

“Well, alright then,” Sully spoke, already lighting a cigar in between his lips, “I suppose we have to get going now, correct?”

“Yes,” Moonlight said, “But one more thing.” He charged his horn and sent a spell beam to the trio. “This spell makes it so anyone that doesn’t have your consent to see will only see you like a pony.”

The three of them looked around, noticing each of them. Sully had a Titanium-colored mane running down his head, with a slight gunslinger mustache on his muzzle. He looked like a workhorse, having rough skin and looking several years older than his compatriots. He bore a cigar and paper on his flank, with his cutie mark supposedly meaning a sign of a businessman, though nobody ought to know what he meant by ‘business’.

Sam had the smoothest skin out of the three of them, though that is an overstatement. The years he spent in the Panama jail gave him rough patches of skin, some from courtyard fights, some from the unforgiving concrete floor in his jail cell. He bore an auburn-colored mane, with a patchy beard and mustache (Think Arthur Morgan from RDR2). He bore on his flank a book overlaying a rap sheet, which was interpreted as research outside of the law. He had a horn on him to symbolize a unicorn.

Out of the three of them, Nate looked the youngest. He had tougher and rougher skin than his older brother, brought on by years of treasure hunting and evading mercenaries. He looked like a show pony in a rough accident. He had a deep brown mane (Darker than his brother) with the same, yet less noticeable, beard and mustache as his older brother. He had a journal on top of a map for a cutie mark, which indicated his affinity for expiration and treasure hunting. Living up to his ability to parkour, he had a pair of wings to act as a pegasus.

“Alright. We best be on our way not,” Dusk said, “We have to create your distraction now.”

Using some pre-planned teleport magic, they teleported sacks of potatoes to replace the ones they smuggled the three in, before faking one of them falling out of the car and sending the rest of them tumbling.

“May the Moon guide you three,” Eventide told them, “GUARDS! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”

As the Solar Guards watching the door went to help clean up the mess, and figure out why the train car’s door latch ‘failed’, Sully, Sam, and Nate slipped into the train station. Inside, there was a mess of porters wheeling bags around, servants preparing dinnerware, and assistants shouting orders from one side to the other.

“Jesus Christ, it looks like the kitchen of a Michelin Restaurant here.” Sully quipped.

“That’s because it probably should be,” Sam noted, “This is the Palace kitchen.” He pointed to the seal of the princesses hanging on the wall

“The Palace!?!” Sully said, a little too loudly. “I thought this was a cargo station.”

“Guys, no time for that,” Sam said, ushering them out of the sight of ponies who were giving them side-eyes. “We can debate why we are directly in the palace later, we first have to get disguises.”

The three nodded at that, and they began making their way through the station. In every location, they sped ever so slightly past onlookers, who chalked them up to ponies who were hurrying to their jobs. After all, this was Equestria, who would try and sneak into the Palace?

They eventually made it into the changing room. Before they did anything, Sam used some levitation magic to distract the manager on duty, before writing their names on the list of people meant to be on duty for the wedding.

Now, to any other new pony, this would have been difficult, but the spell used on them helped them with that. For Sully, who was an Earth Pony, he was given more stamina and more strength. For Sam, the unicorn, all he had to do was think up of the spell he wanted, and it would automatically do its job, though he will still feel the fatigue with doing the spell. For Nate, it worked like Sam’s horn, in which he merely had to think of flying, and it would work with him.

As Sam wrote their names on the list, Nate and Sully grabbed the uniforms they needed, before tossing Sam his uniform and entering separate changing rooms. When they walked out, they each wore a different suit for their different races. Sully had a navy blue suit, to denote his grounded jobs. Affixed to him was his nametag, Cash Grab. Nate had a light blue suit, with holes cut out of it to give space for his pegasus wings. He had his nametag on his chest, Ruins Walker. Like his partners, Sam also had a suit, though he had a solid white one instead. Affixed to his collar instead of his chest was his nametag, Legal Signing.

“Legal Signing, Cash Grab, Ruins Walker! Will Legal Signing, Cash Grab, and Ruins Walker please make it to the front of the loading bay?” An announcement sounded over the entire station, though this seemed to unfaze the servants having to rush through the station to bring items in on time.

“Alright, guys. Let’s see how well we take our acting class.” Nate said, before walking over to the loading bay, Sam and Nate followed behind him. They all moved at a fast trot, intending to just act like another pony in the masses and not stand out of the crowd. It’s like what Rusty said in Oceans 11, He’s got to like you, then forget you the moment you leave his sight.

When they all got to the front of the station, the manager walked up to them. “Ah, there you three are!”

“Yes sir,” Nate said, trying not to look suspicious. “We’re ready to do our job.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry about that,” the manager said, rubbing the back of his head. “We don’t know how we missed you three, but it doesn’t matter.” They all looked incredulously at that, they were that trusting?

He levitated a checklist over from a nearby stand. “Alright, here’s the rub.”

He pointed to Sully first, “You, Cash Grab. We need you to help Dame Applejack with the catering that’s been consistently breaking down.”

He pointed at Sam next, “You, Legal Signing. Dame Rarity requires your assistance in finishing the dress of the bride.”

He lastly pointed at Nate, “You, Ruins Walker. Dame Pinkie Pie needs your help preparing the entertainment for the Reception, and the Wedding itself.”

As the manager walked out, the three of them looked at each other.

“Alright, first,” Nate began, “Do we all remember who the Dames/Elements actually looked like?”

“I have some photos here, from Princess Luna’s home,” Sully said, before fishing out some photos of the Elements and passing their respective cards out.

“Alright then,” Sam said, “We all have two days to study the Elements, and what we have to do to help them, and after that is showtime.”

Nate and Sully nodded, “Alright, we have our jobs. Let's get to them.” Each of them walked off, following the signs to their respective jobs.

Please note, I haven’t watched A Canterlot Wedding in several months, and I don’t want to watch it because it is my most hated episode out of all of them for the sheer idiocracy of the Mane 5 in it. So, I’m going to BS about half of it.

Sully

“You know, kid, when you first told me of the multiverse, I thought you had gone bananas,” Sully muttered to himself as he walked in through the castle. Unlike Canterlot Castle in the future, this one was very much better kept, and without any battle marks to boot. Ironically, this was the first ruin he walked through that didn’t have traps or curses to kill him.

After taking some more twists and turns around the corridors, he eventually came upon a room labeled ‘Kitchen’. Inside, a scene was starting to grow,

“So, how do you like them fritters, Princess?” A pony with a southern drawl said, not acknowledging Sully Entering the kitchen. She seemed to be talking to one of the princesses of the castle.

“It’s...alright so say the least Apple...jack?” The princess said with uncertainty, though Sully noted that this was not picked up by the southerner.

“Well, shucks, thanks for that then compliment, princess!” The pony walked to the back of the kitchen and pulled out a bag of apple fritters. “Here. you can have some for the road ‘case you feeling a mite hungry.” She tossed the bag of fritters to the princess, who caught them with her magic.

“Well, thank you Dame Applejack, but I must be going now!” The pony said with an insincere smile. When Applejack turned around to continue cooking, the pony tossed the fritters in the nearest garbage can and walked out, bumping into Sully on the way.

“Oof! What where you're going, you oaf!” She said with a rude tone.

“I’m sorry ma’am, I didn’t-” Sully began, though he was cut off by the princess.

“Stop! It’s Princess Candance, and you will not talk back to me that way!” She said with a huff, before walking out of the kitchen.

“Jeez, what got her boots in a twist?” Sully grumbled.

“Oh, the princess?” Applejack said, looking up from her cooking. “Pre-wedding jitters, she ought to be fine.”

“Never met a girl that acted so off on their wedding day,” Sully mused, “Though come to think of it, I’ve only ever gone to one wedding and it was my best friends so I’m biased.”

“Well, let me introduce myself,” The pony said, sticking her hand out. “My name’s Applejack, and yours?”

Sully stuck out his hand, “Cash Grab, ma’am.”

“Cash Grab?” Applejack mused, going back to her cooking. “How’d you get a name like that? And, pass the brown sugar will yah?”

Sully grabbed the bag, and walked over to her, “Well, it’s thanks to my pappy. He worked as a stockbroker, and since I was destined to follow in his footsteps, everyone assumed I’d be the same old thing when I grew up.” He looked at the book and poured the correct amount out of the bag.

“Ah, know whatchu mean,” Applejack said, motioning Sully to start stirring the batter. “I know a girl in my town, her name meant the same thing since everyone thought she would be the same stuck-up as her father,”

Sully began stirring the batter, “Ah, I get it, parents that rich?”

“Yep, richest in the town, actually.” Applejack said with a growl, “You know, funny story about her father…”

Sam

Sam walked up to one of the towers of the castle. According to some servers he asked on the way, this was where Rarity was supposed to be designing the dress of the Princess. (Seriously, who designs their dress the night before the wedding?)

As he walked up the stairwell of the tower, he stopped just short of entering the room, about to knock on the door, when he began to hear a conversation brewing inside.

“This dress is..okay, Rarity.” A voice came from inside. “But I was hoping for a longer train, and more beads.” He heard footsteps coming from inside.

“And these dresses, you expect my bridesmaids to wear these?” The voice said in a stern tone.

“I think it looks nice.” One voice quipped up.

“Yeah, the dress looks perfect on me!” Another voice shot up.

‘Whatever! I don’t like them, so you won’t wear them!” The original voice said in a more angry tone. “Make them in lighter colors! And for Celestia’s sake, don’t make them in pink!” Then, footsteps began coming closer and closer to the door.

Sam had just enough time to duck behind the door and cast an invisibility spell before the door swung open, and a series of footsteps walked out of the door. Inside, he could hear two voices conversing.

“See! She’s so stuck up! She just demanded you to change it, just like that!”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, darling, I’m perfectly fine with fixing the dresses!”

“Yeah, but she didn’t have to be so rude about it. She’s acting like Princess Demandypants!”

“Oh, hush, darling, I’m sure it will all be okay in the end! Pre-wedding jitters and all!”

“...yeah right, pre-wedding jitters.” The first girl grumbled, before walking out of the room. When she stepped out of earshot, Sam walked into the room.

“Hello there, Dame Rarity!” Sam announced himself.

“Ah! No need to use my full title, good sir!” Rarity said with some shock, stopping her work to come over and shake his hoof. “Rarity is quite all right to be used!”

“Well, then, I guess hello there Rarity!” Sam took her hoof, “My name is Legal Signing, ready to help you out!”

“Well, such a gentlecolt!” Rarity said with a grin, “Well, if you would like to help me, get some of that cyan fabric over there, and bring some of that red wine near it as well.”

“I’ll oblige you on the fabric, ma’am,” Sam said, walking over to the fabric and lifting some of it off. “But I’m afraid to say I’m a married man ma’am.”

“Ah, such a shame,” Rarity said with a pout, “All of the good-looking ones are already taken.”

Sam stopped, thought about it for a minute, “Well, when I said married, I never meant another pony ma’am.” He shot back with his own grin.

“Oh, pray tell?” Rarity said, lifting the fabric into the machine.

“Well, I’ve actually been married to my job,” Sam said, beginning to run the fabric through while levitating the bottle of wine and two glasses over, “But, I feel like I should settle down now. Got enough cash to live life twice over.”

“Oh, and what was your job, my good sir?”

“Eh, I was the guy that got permission to explore old ruins and find treasure buried underneath.” He poured out the wine. “It fell to my brother to explore them, though I did occasionally join him.”

“Really now?” She said with a grin, stopping the machine and levitating her glass over her lips, “You got any stories to tell?”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t believe…”

No I didn’t forget Nate, you’ll understand why next chapter

The next morning, all three of the treasure hunters met up in the Great Hall adjacent to the Wedding Hall. Each of them bought something from their assignments, Sully an Apple Pie, Nate some party favors, and Sam?

“Hey, Sam,” Sully asked with a grin, “Was she that good?”

“That and more,” Sam said with a dopey grin on his face. He had a small light spot on his pants, with a faint lipstick kiss on his muzzle. He reeked of alcohol.

“Jesus, Sam, next time clean up after you bed a girl, will you?” Nate said, trying to fan out the smell of the sex and alcohol from the room.

“Alright, after we meet the Elements one last time after the rehearsal, we have to go over the game plan for tomorrow.” Sam began, wiping off the lipstick mark from his face.

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Nate said with a grin, “I got us covered on that.”

“Nate…?” Sully began, but he was cut off by a loud *BANG* from the Wedding Hall. A few moments later, Princess Cadence ran out, and the door shut behind her

“What was that?” Sam asked, then he put his ear up to the door. He could hear sobbing, and angry shouting from the other side.

Nate put his ear up as well. He, however, couldn’t hear much of the conversation out of the groom shouting, and the girl Rarity had talked to yesterday was crying. They reeled back when the door swung open, and the majority of the procession walked out, save for one girl inside the Hall crying.

The three men approached their respective partners. “Hey, Applejack, do you know what that was all about?” Sully asked her.

Applejack shook her head with a scowl, “I dunno. We was having a decent rehearsal when Twi alluvia sudden barged into the hall.”

Rarity spoke up, “She claimed that Princess Cadance was an imposter! An imposter, mind you! Such useless drivel!” All of the Uncharted folks winced at that, knowing the truth of the matter.

“Yeah! And then that there Shining Armour started going off on her!” Applejack said, “Said she shouldn’t show her face at all at the weddin’ tomorrow.”

“I mean, good riddance, am I right?” Pinkie hopped up to them, “Seriously, it’s the Princesses happiest day tomorrow, and she’s like ‘you’re a FFFF AAAA KKKK EEEE?” Pinkie said with her eyes wide.

When she calmed down, they all looked at the treasure hunters, “Anyways, would you like to come to join us tomorrow?” Pinkie said with a smile.

“What?” Nate asked with a raised eyebrow.
“Well, each of us was allowed a plus one to the wedding,” Rarity spoke, “And we wanted to thank you three for helping us out preparing for the wedding.”

All of them looked at each other with wide eyes. They thought they would have to sneak into the wedding, now they’re being handed invites?

“Yeah, we’d love to!” Sully said with a smile.

“Alright, then darlings!” Rarity said with a grin, “I guess we should get ready for tomorrow, right?”

They all said goodnight to each other, then headed for their chambers.

The day of the wedding

“...and then by the power vested in me, I declare you Husband and-”

“HOLD IT!” A cry came from the door. It was battered down, and a very angry Luna, disheveled Cadance, and a VERY pissed-off Twilight barged into the Wedding Hall.

Nate looked at his partners,

“Showtime.”