"No, no no no! Not now! Don't you DARE-"
*fzzzzzt*
"Say goodbye to your oh-so-precious Equestria!"
*fzzzzzt*
"They forgot. In the end, th-"
*fzzzzzt*
The world swirled about in total darkness, with random flashes of light and sound like these being the only things breaking up the shadow. The void was so cold that it burned, though there was no pain to it. Suddenly, a voice came seemingly from nowhere.
"Wake up."
The void started spinning.
"Wake up. The world is in need."
"Wake up, Twilight Sparkle."
"The world needs you."
"Wake up."
* * * * * * *
Birds.
She could hear birds chirping.
Twilight's eyes snapped open. Sitting up, she looked around, finding herself to be in an apple orchard.
"Where...where am I?" She said.
"You're nowhere." A voice from behind her said. "Or somewhere. Frankly, that's what you make of it. I'm just here for the entertainment."
Twilight whipped her head around, but found nothing there.
'Strange.' She thought. I could've sworn I heard somepony talking to me.'
Twilight tried to stand up, but fatigue got the better of her, forcing her to lay down.
'Why am I so tired? What happened? Why can't I remember?!' Twilight's frustration grew with each question, only to be replaced by confusion when she caught sight of her fur, which had been turned a deep blue.
"What in Equestria happened to my fur?!" She exclaimed.
"Forced Temporal Displacement, what else?"
She looked around again for the source of that voice, but found nothing around her but trees.
'It feels like I know that voice from somewhere...But where?'
* * * * * * *
After regaining some of her strength, Twilight began to walk. She didn't know where she was going, just that she needed to find some answers as to what was going on. After wandering around for a while, she caught sight of a barn, with a familiar orange pony walking towards it, pulling some hay in a cart.
"Applejack!" She shouted, running towards her friend. "Boy, am I glad to see you!"
Applejack turned her head and stared at Twilight in confusion.
"Do ah know you?" She asked flatly.
"Huh? Oh, it's the fur isn't it? It's me, Twilight!"
Applejack stared blankly at her for a few seconds before turning away,
"Ah don't know who ya'll are, kid, but ah know for a fact that ya ain't Twilight. Ah haven't seen her in ten years."
"Ten years?!" Twilight gasped. "But I saw you just the other day!"
Applejack sighed.
"Ah do not have time fer this, kid. You know what happens if we stray too far from The Schedule."
"What? What's 'The Schedule?' Just point me in the direction of Rainbow dash, or Pinkie Pie or somepony, they'll back me up!"
Applejack froze. She slowly turned to face Twilight.
"Whoever ya'll are, you must've been living under a rock or somethin. Everypony knows about The Schedule. It governs what everything does, every moment of every day, to keep order. If you don't do exactly what it says enough of the time, you get arrested."
"That's messed up! Princess Celestia would never do something like that!"
"She didn't do anything to stop it, either." Applejack said with a sour tone creeping into her voice. "She just let everything happen, and I highly doubt even she could reverse it by now. As for Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie, I'm afraid nopony will be able to talk to them for quite a while."
"Why is that?!"
Applejack sighed again. "It all happened because of The Schedule."
"I don't follow."
"Pinkie Pie's randomness and the pure order of The Schedule simply didn't mix, and she cracked after just a few days. She's currently stuck in a mental facility. Rainbow Dash, being her stubborn self, tried to oppose the government just carting Pinkie away, and when that didn't work, she tried to break her out. She was caught, and is currently spending time in Ponyville City Jail."
"Since when does Ponyville have a jail?!"
Applejack turned back towards the barn and started walking away.
"Ah need to get back to The Schedule, and you should too, if you don't want to join Rainbow in that jail." Applejack stated coldly. "Goodbye."
Twilight stood in the same spot for a few seconds, trying to process the information. She eventually started walking towards the path leading up to Ponyville, mind racing at a million miles per hour. What was going on?!
"Oh, poor Twilight." The same mysterious voice said. "You honestly have no IDEA what's going on, do you?"
Twilight turned her head towards the sound, not really expecting to see anything, but to her surprise, she finally saw the source of the voice. Her ears flattened against her head as her eyes narrowed.
"Discord!"
* * * * * * *
"Well, who where you expecting? Robert Patterson?" Discord said.
He was sprawled out on the grass next to the dirt path, wearing a pair of sunglasses and an annoying smirk.
"What do you want?" Twilight snapped.
"Well, you're no fun. Honestly, I'd rather not tell you, because your confusion is the only chaos I've felt in YEARS."
Twilight ground her teeth. "I'm not in the mood for your games, Discord. Go choke on a cotton candy cloud or something."
"Grumpy today, aren't we?"
"Of course I'm grumpy!" Twilight yelled. "I've just woken up in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres, and apparently missed at least the last ten years, not to mention the very one that corrupted my friends and turned Ponyville into absolute chaos is taunting me in the middle of all this!"
Twilight paused for a breath, and then realized something; the world was perfectly in order. In fact, it was almost too perfect. There was no sign of any chaos at all.
"Wondering what happened?" Discord asked. "Why I'm around and there's no chaos?"
Twilight nodded.
"Here, I'll show you.'
Before she could protest, Discord had touched the tip of her snout with his finger. Suddenly, the world turned gray.
"What did you do?!" She demanded.
"I gave you the ability to see the world how I see it." Discord explained.
"You're colorblind?"
Discord chuckled bitterly. "I wish. I see things in terms of how much magic is in things. The more magic, the more vibrant everything is, as far as color goes, that is."
"But there should be more magic than this!" Twilight said. "I don't understand!"
Discord stood up and turned to face Twilight, with a surprisingly serious expression.
"Might I remind you of a scientific principle? 'All that is orderly will eventually descend into chaos.'"
"What does that have to do with this?"
"You're fairly smart, for being a pony. I'm sure you know that whenever the balance of nature is upset too much, magic starts having problems. Well, because of The Schedule, things became so orderly, chaos itself faded, upsetting nature and rendering magic null and void."
"So magic can't be used anymore, right?"
"Sort of. Have you tried to cast a spell yet? Even something simple like levitation?"
Twilight's response was to try, but all she managed to do was shoot off a few sparks.
"You see, Twilight Sparkle, because of my nature as an immortal, I still have some magic left." Discord said. "That's how I was able to transfer my sight. However, I don't have nearly enough to cause any significant chaos."
"Forgive me if I don't believe that, but I don't trust you as far as I could th-"
Discord interrupted by turning himself into a ping-pong ball.
"You were saying?" He smirked.
"This is serious!" Twilight yelled. "How are you not concerned about it?!"
Discord changed back and sighed.
"Well, fine, little miss grouchy no-pants. I'll do it your way."
Discord then proceeded to scrunch his face up as if he had just eaten something incredibly sour.
"What are you doing?" Twilight asked.
"It's an impression of you, couldn't you tell?" Discord said. "I figured the expression alone would have given it away."
Twilight rolled her eyes.
"You know, for being thousands of years old, you're extremely childish."
"Well, I may be immortal, but that doesn't mean I have to be mature about it."
Discord and Twilight stared each other down, with neither one speaking. Eventually, Twilight sighed and started trotting away.
"Hey, where are you going?!" Discord yelled. "I was winning! I could totally see you were going to blink!"
Twilight rolled her eyes. Without turning her head, she called back "You want to help me find a way to fix the current situation, or are you just going to stand there like a statue for another few thousand years?"
Discord grinned and ran to catch up.
"Let's make some chaos!" He said eagerly.
Discord was quietly strolling alongside Twilight Sparkle, not turning himself into bricks, flying, teleporting, or doing anything in a manner that was chaotic.
All in all, it was very suspicious.
Twilight stopped walking and sighed.
"Okay, Discord, what are you up to?" Twilight asked.
"Who, me?" Discord said in an obviously faked tone of interest.
"Yes, you!" Twilight yelled.
"Tsk Tsk. Somepony needs a nap."
"I DO NOT NEED A NAP!"
Discord's response was to obnoxiously start humming a lullaby.
"DISCORD!"
"Okay, I'll tell you. I just needed to memorize that sound sample." Discord said.
"What do mea-"
"What I'm 'up to' is assisting you in restoring magic until further notice."
"That's your answer?" Twilight asked. "I expected something more along the lines of insane ranting."
"Oh, Twilight, I may still be a jerk, but so many years of order seem to have restored my sanity."
"You're saying that when you tried to take over Equestria before, you were insane?"
"Yep."
"And now you're not."
"Correct."
"I don't quite believe you."
"And I don't quite care."
Discord started walking again, with Twilight following close behind.
* * * * * * *
"You can't be serious."
Discord had lead Twilight to the edge of the Everfree forest, insisting on going inside.
"Oh, but I am, Twilight." Discord said. "I need to get Equestria back to it's normal state as soon as possible, and the Everfree forest is the place with the most likely chance of providing some magical energy to do just that. Turns out that enchanting the place was one of my better ideas."
"YOU need to? What about everypony else?!"
Discord whipped around with a rather hurt look on his face.
"Why do you think I'm even doing this in the first place?! I may not have been the ruler of this place for the past few thousand years, but I still care! I mean come on, even all the chaos I did the first time we met did something good!"
"The cotton candy clouds?"
"Could probably have ended world hunger and thirst."
"The soap roads?"
"You ponies are always getting covered in muck."
"The weird gravity?"
"Pegasi shouldn't be the only ones to fly."
"The giant pepper shaker?"
Discord paused for a moment and stared into space.
"Discord?" Twilight asked. "What are you doing?"
Discord's eyes snapped back into focus.
"Sorry about the delay, it takes time to get trans-dimensional information. Ahem;
Like many eastern spices, pepper was historically both a seasoning and a medicine. Long pepper, being stronger, was often the preferred medication, but both were used.
Black Pepper (or perhaps long pepper) was believed to cure illness such as constipation, diarrhea, earache, gangrene, heart disease, hernia, hoarseness, indigestion, insect bites, insomnia, joint pain, liver problems, lung disease, oral abscesses, sunburn, tooth decay, and toothaches. Various sources from the 5th century onward also recommend pepper to treat eye problems, often by applying salves or poultices made with pepper directly to the eye. There is no current medical evidence that any of these treatments has any benefit; pepper applied directly to the eye would be quite uncomfortable and possibly damaging. Nevertheless, Black pepper, either powdered or its decoction, is widely used in traditional Indian medicine and as a home remedy for relief from sore throat, throat congestion, cough etc.
Pepper is known to cause sneezing. Some sources say that piperine, a substance present in black pepper, irritates the nostrils, causing the sneezing; Few, if any, controlled studies have been carried out to answer the question. It has been shown that piperine can dramatically increase absorption of selenium, vitamin B, beta-carotene and curcumin as well as other nutrients.
As a medicine, pepper appears in the Buddhist Samaññaphala Sutta, chapter five, as one of the few medicines allowed to be carried by a monk.
Pepper contains small amounts of safrole, a mildly carcinogenic compound. Also, it is eliminated from the diet of patients having abdominal surgery and ulcers because of its irritating effect upon the intestines, being replaced by what is referred to as a bland diet. However, extracts from black pepper have been found to have antioxidant properties and anti-carcinogenic effects, especially when compared to chili
Piperine present in black pepper acts as a thermogenic compound. Piperine enhances the thermogenesis of lipid and accelerates energy metabolism in the body and also increases the serotonin and beta-endorphin production in the brain.
Piperine and other components from black pepper may also be helpful in treating vitiligo, although when combined with UV radiation should be staggered due to the effect of light on the compound."
Twilight stared at him for a moment.
"Okay, I admit, some of the things I did were just for fun."
"And what about corrupting me and my friends?" Twilight asked bitterly.
Discord paused again.
"Though I admit that doing that was somewhat overkill, it was the only thing I could think of at the moment to slow your progress. It's awfully boring being trapped in stone for thousands of years."
Twilight narrowed her eyes at him.
"There's no way to avoid going in there, correct?"
"Bingo."
"Fine. Let's go." Twilight conceded.
The unlikely duo started walking into the forest, unaware of the amount of predators their little argument had woken up.
* * * * * * *
Discord suddenly froze.
"Stop walking." He said.
"What?" Twilight asked.
"Just stop walking and listen."
The forest was completely quiet around them.
"I don't hear anything." Twilight said.
"Exactly. My enchantment made this place one of total chaos." Discord explained hurriedly "The fact that nothing in here is making a sound indicates that something is following us. Something predatory."
As if on cue, a group of panthers seemingly made out of sand jumped out of the bush and started circling the two.
"What are those?!" Twilight screamed.
"Sand Lions." Discord answered. "If their dust-filled roar hits you, you fall asleep."
"Why?"
"So they can more easily rip you to shreds."
"Oh, that's reassuring."
The lions circling them started to take in a deep breath of air.
"Rule one of the universe." Discord said. "When crap hits the fan, the fan is typically being held by you, and is pointed at someone very important who can get you fired."