Author's Note

I have risen from the grave to post this! A silly Derpy fic!

Contains: Large anal insertion, off screen orgasms, misuse of gym equipment and a one hundred word microfic that somehow ended up over eleven hundred words long. Whoops.

Accompanying image: Derpi

Derpy Works (Them In and) Out (object stuffing)

The desk manager looked up from his crossword as the door to the empty gym opened. It wasn’t that the gym didn’t have a consistent membership attendance, the famed Rainbow Dash occasionally used the treadmill here after all, but 3PM wasn’t exactly peak hours. All musing on the odd timing was lost though as he recognized the grey Pegasus mare that trotted through the door.

“Hello! Where do I sign in?”

The desk manager silently crossed his hooves, hoping she was just lost. “Sign in to what?”

Derpy scrunched her muzzle, confused. “The gym? My little filly has been telling me that I’m embarrassing her cause my flanks are fatter than all the other moms, and I think she’s right.” Derpy looked back at her own, jiggling plot, barely contained in the bright blue booty shorts.

Restraining himself from making a comment on her Ponyville famous plot, the stallion shook his head. “Ah, my mistake. You need to sign up for a gym membership first, before you can use the facilities. That’ll be a hundred bits for an annual pass or ten a month.”

Derpy’s grin lit up the room as she nodded, retrieving a pouch from under a wing pocket. “Ten bits for a month, please. I wanna see if I like it before committing, you know.”

“Perfectly understandable, ma’am.” Taking the bits, he held out a small form for name and contact info. “It’s actually what I recommend all newcomers do.” Watching the grey mare fiddle with the pen for a moment, he took the filled paperwork and handed her a cheap plastic novelty water bottle. “Here you are, a complementary water bottle. I’d recommend washing it about five times before you even try to drink from it. It helps to reduce the taste.”

“Oh, thank you, Mister!” Taking the bottle, Derpy gave it a sniff, her snoot wrinkling from the acrid plastic smell.

“Yeah, it’s bad. Anyway, you need any help with the equipment, maybe I can show you around?”

“No thank you, Mister. I can figure it out. I just want to use the treadmill anyway.” Without waiting for a response, the grey mare trotted off in the wrong direction.

The stallion watched her big bubble butt wobble as she walked away, noting the ‘WIDE LOAD’ written in bright pink across the two sizes too small booty shorts, the ass they were trying to contain so prodigious that Derpy hadn’t even managed to get them pulled up far enough to cover her ponut. “I’m just glad I convinced Mr. Rack to get the premium insurance after Dash started coming here.”

Just as the desk attendant had gotten comfortable enough to go back to his crossword, he heard a mighty crash from the treadmill section. Taking a moment to take a deep breath, he trotted into the little side room, finding Derpy upside down in a pile of yoga mats, the treadmill slowly winding down after its safety was pulled. “Are you alright, Ma’am?”

From her upside-down position, Derpy nodded. “Uh-huh.”

To his credit, the first thing the stallion noticed was how red her face was. The second thing he noticed was what looked like the surface of a medicine ball crowning from her distended ponut. His own face turned red to match hers as he worked up the nerve to ask. “How did you, you know, fall hard enough to get that stuck up there? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Looking up at her ass, the booty shorts having burst in the calamity, Derpy hesitated a moment before responding. “Well, I actually put that in there before getting on the treadmill.”

There was a heavy silence, broken shortly by “What?”

“Well, when I brought up to Rainbow that I needed to lose some weight, she recommended I use the treadmill, but she said I’d need to add some weights if I wanted something as, well, ‘lame’ as the treadmill to actually do anything, so I was looking for some heavy stuff, but I couldn’t figure out how to hold most of it while trotting until I found these heavy balls in the corner, and I thought maybe if I, uh, put them up my butt, they’d be real heavy and I wouldn’t have to worry about dropping them! So I put five of them up there, and it was working super well cause I felt really heavy and it was making it harder to trot, but, uh, they were rubbing up against my insides really a lot, and it felt really really good, and, uh…” Looking away, Derpy bit her lip. “Well, it felt so good I couldn’t help it, and I came, and then I lost my balance and fell off the treadmill.”

The stallion simply stared. If she had only managed to get one of the ten-inch balls up her ass, he’d have been shocked, but she had five up there. Five!

“Did I break anything? Do you need me to leave?”

Broken from his awe for a moment, the stallion looked around. Nothing was actually broken, as far as he could tell. “Well, no, not really. I’ll have to ask you to, ah, remove the medicine balls, though. Using the treadmill with weights is only really for more advanced workouts anyway, Dash is probably not the best example for a beginner. When you do work your way up to weights, there’s ankle weights in the bin over there.”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess I’m not as fit as Rainbow.”

You’ve got a million times better ass though. “Nopony on this planet is as fit as Rainbow, Ma’am. We can only ever aspire to get close.”

With a heave, Derpy managed to right her significantly heavier body, squatting down as she grunted. One after the next, the medicine balls thumped to the floor, covered in a thick, stringy lubricant. The attendant’s blush grew as he watched her huff and puff, though his eyes went wide as the water bottle slid out after the last of the weighted balls.

“Sorry about the mess. I guess I should have done this in the locker room instead of-” Derpy was cut off by the ringing of the bell tower, her eyes going wide. “Oh no! I’m late to pick up my daughter from school!” With an explosion of feathers, Derpy was gone, only a trail of slick lube leading to the door to mark her exit.

The poor stallion was still standing, staring at the lube covered balls and the remains of the booty shorts when the earliest of the gym regulars came in. “What’s with that? Somepony spill preworkout or somethin’?”

“Not… exactly.” Despite it all, he wondered if Derpy would be back. He almost dared to hope she would.