A Perfectly Normal New Hoovendale Hearth's Warming
...In Which Something Unexpected Occurs
Author's Note
This was written for TheWingman as a present for a Secret Santa event in one of the Discord servers I'm in. Merry Christmas, TheWingman!
...In Which Something Unexpected Occurs
Arcturus Aquila was working on servicing his motorbike with Hyde, his pet raptorhawk, perched on the table next to him. He used a slightly rusty wrench to tighten up the last few bolts on his motorbike and used a claw to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. Okay, that’s done. Now to head to New Hoovendale to spend the evening with Tin. I don’t have a Hearth’s Warming present for him, though. I guess I’ll have to pick something up in town before I visit him again tomorrow.
Arcturus cleaned all the grease off of him with a relatively clean rag. He then locked up his home, got on his motorbike and petted Hyde. “Bye, Hyde.” He started up the engine and zoomed off.
Ten minutes later, Arcturus stopped on the dirt path outside the house behind the sheriff’s office of New Hoovendale. He looked around, taking in the festive decorations for Hearth’s Warming that were everywhere. Well, everywhere except for the sheriff’s office and the house behind it. “HEY TIN! TIN STAR! I’m here!”
A purple-eyed Earth pony with a copper coat opened the door to the home. He blinked at Arcturus. “Arcturus? Why… Oh! Oh! I invited you here for Hearth’s Warming.” The Earth pony, presumably Tin Star, raised a hoof to his mouth and yawned. “Sorry. Some raider was making trouble for Mixwell. The paperwork for that filth kept me up for most of the night. Ledger wanted to help, but I told him to enjoy his next few days off. I meant to finish it all before nightfall, but the execution for the raider took a bit too long.”
Arcturus nodded. “I take it Mixwell’s okay?”
Tin Star waved a hoof. “Oh, he’s fine. The moment that trash started getting rowdy, Mixwell levitated a bottle of whisky and broke it on his head. The raider was unconscious when I got there. Damn shame about that wasted whisky though.” Tin Star shook his head and turned around. “Now, come on. Let’s continue this inside.” He walked into the house.
Arcturus locked up his motorbike, grabbed his S9 pistol and Stiletto and followed.
Tin Star and Arcturus were indulging in shots of whisky when they heard the gunshots. They had moved to the sheriff’s office, where Tin Star was telling Arcturus about a new kind of ammunition as they finished their first bottle of alcohol. “So, these bullets pop on impact, you see. They release a spray of weakened Killing Joke extract on the target when they pop, which causes some moderately bad effect that’s almost always debilitating to the lawbreaker, allowing me to easily take them into custody.” Tin Star took another sip of his whiskey. “Once they’re in, I can use the antidote over there”-He gestures at a container filled with a murky green liquid, with a spray bottle next to it.-” to reverse the effects. It was made to be used by unicorns, so it’s a bit hard for me to use it with my mouth, but I can mana-.”
BANG! BANG!
“Those were gunshots.” Tin Star immediately put down his cup and grabbed his pistol. “That piece of trash I took in did say something about a larger gang when he woke up, but I just thought he was spouting some horseapples to try to avoid the gallows.”
“It seems he wasn’t,” observed Arcturus. He went to Tin’s house, which was connected to the sheriff’s office, and grabbed his guns.
Just then, they heard frantic knocking at the door to the sheriff’s office. “Sheriff Tin! Sheriff Tin! Raiders!”
Arcturus, having retrieved his guns, placed them on the table and opened the door, only to see a sky-blue hippogriff colt who was panting heavily. “Clarion? What happened?”
"Mr Arcturus...there are...raiders in the...town square. The...leader said…" Clarion started his description of the events, occasionally pausing to catch his breath.
Some time earlier…
“All right, you colts better remember the plan,” said a brownish-red unicorn, who was using his magic to keep cool in the face of the blisteringly hot sun. The heat from the sun was made even worse for the other raiders because none of them had any water to drink. Rusty Track had drunk it all.
Rusty, the unicorn who spoke earlier, glared at the other ponies present. “You bastards better not think of abandoning the Ruby Reapers. If you do, I’ll find you. And when I find you, I’ll bring you to the middle of nowhere and break all your hooves so you can slowly get eaten alive by the ‘sprites.” Rusty Track brandished his shotgun at his gang, who had gathered outside New Hoovendale and had just finished planning their raid on the settlement.
Rusty turned to one unicorn in particular. “I have my eye on you, Brandy. I know you tried to run in our last raid, you bloody coward.” Brandy frantically shook his head, remembering how badly he had been beaten that time. Damn, I was hoping he’d forget.
“You’d better not. Let’s go.” With that, Rusty Track donned his black cloak to hide his weapons and headed into the settlement of New Hoovendale. The other raiders split up and donned their own cloaks, entering the settlement from different areas. They slowly made their way to the town square.
As the Ruby Reapers all gathered in the town square, some of them made sure to stand by other ponies. When Rusty Track lit his horn to give the signal, all the Reapers tore off their cloaks, and the unicorns amongst them took ponies hostage.
Rusty Track pulled his shotgun from its holster. “Now, you all listen here. If you all give up your valuables without a fight, nobody has to get hurt. If you don’t, well, some of my colts haven’t gotten to torture anypony for ages. You don’t want that, right?” says Rusty, pointing his shotgun at random ponies in the town square. Everypony just stared at him, eyes wide.
“I said you don’t want that, RIGHT?” Rusty punctuated his words with a few shots from his shotgun. The townsponies nodded, their eyes wide in fear.
“Good. Now spread the word to all your friends, and you just might live to see tomorrow.” Rusty used his horn to signal something to the rest of the Reapers, who spread out, those who took hostages bringing them along at gunpoint.
Clarion watched the raiders disperse from his rooftop hiding place. I've got to tell Sheriff Tin. He jumped off of the roof, using his blue wings to break his fall and only partially succeeding. He groaned in pain when he hit the floor.
He quickly got up and navigated the secluded, unadorned alleyways of the settlement and ran to the sheriff's office. As soon as he reached the door to the office, he frantically knocked. "Sheriff Tin! Sheriff Tin! Raiders!"
"...and the last raider went towards the market square."
Tin Star responded first, knowing that his friend would help him without asking. "Arcturus, we should try to take 'em in without killing 'em. That way, we can use them as an example to any other scum that would come here. We can use those Killing Joke bullets. I've got a box that'll work for your S9.”
Tim Star grabbed the box in question and passed it to Arcturus, who quickly replaced the current magazine in his S9 with a Killing Joke magazine, grabbing a few extra for reloading. “What about Stiletto?”
“Sorry Arcturus, I don’t have any that’ll work with your zebra carbine, what with your mods and all." Tim Star grabbed his pistol, and a shotgun, loading Killing Joke ammo as well. "I'll try to hold off on using the shotgun, since that's gonna be very loud, regardless of the suppressor."
Arcturus nodded and turned to Clarion, who’d been curiously watching them load their guns. "Now, Clarion, I want you to stay right here, where you'll be safe."
"But-"
"No buts, Clarion. I mean it."
"Okay," muttered Clarion, sullenly. No way I’m staying here while Mr Arcturus goes to fight the raiders. I can help too, thought Clarion.
Arcturus and Tin Star left to subdue the raiders, making sure to minimise any noise they made to reduce the chances of the raiders becoming alert.
This is my chance! Clarion waited for a while and went out of the door. He looked for Arcturus and Tin Star and started tailing them, all while trying not to get caught. He followed them and watched them as they took down a few raiders. He puffed his chest out when he realised that they were following the information he gave them. I helped Mr Arcturus find where the raiders were, thought Clarion, grinning.
Arcturus and Tin Star were standing over a unicorn raider who'd passed out from the pain of his hooves turning to stone. The Killing Joke's magic was slowly petrifying the rest of the earth pony, but Tin Star administered the antidote before that could happen. "This makes what, five now?"
“Yeah. Five scumbags taken care of.” Arcturus slid an inhibitor ring onto the raider's horn. He helped the pony who had been taken hostage, a unicorn, to her feet. “You should go hide.”
The unicorn nodded and hurried away, stopping once to say, ‘Thank you,” before continuing on.
“Let’s go.” Tin Star wrinkled his brow. “ The next one’s at… that street on the other side of town from the market, I think.”
Arcturus and Tin Star hurried off to the street in question. Once they arrived, they saw another unicorn raider holding an earth pony hostage.
“I’ve got this.” Arcturus quickly took aim, and shot him; the killing joke going into effect immediately after impact. Tin Star then took out a pair of hoofcuffs and locked them around the raider’s hooves, with the earth pony hurrying off.
“Ow!” Arcturus and Tin Star turned around, only to see Clarion looking at them with a sheepish grin.
“Clarion! I told you to stay in the office.” Arcturus frowned at him.
“I know, but I want to help too,” whined Clarion.
“Clarion, go back to the offi-”
“Arcturus, it’s not safe.” Tin Star placed a hoof on Arcturus’s shoulder. “He can’t go alone. He’ll just have to hide whenever we confront one of the raiders.”
Arcturus sighed. “Okay, but I don’t like it.” He sprayed the subdued raider with the Killing Joke antidote and followed Tin Star.
“Okay, Clarion, you stay right there, behind that stall, you got that?” Arcturus, Tin Star and Clarion were at one of the entrances to the market square of the town. Arcturus was pointing at a stall near where they were, which was made of metal, which would offer a degree of protection during a firefight.
“Uh-huh.” Clarion nodded excitedly. He ran to the stall and hid, making sure not to draw the raider’s attention.
“You can do the honours,” said Arcturus, gesturing at the raider, who was at the far end of the market square, and looking like he had no idea what was about to happen.
“All right.” Tin Star took aim and fired. “And that’s another one down.”
“Tsk. Tsk. It seems we have a few rebels here, Brandy.”
Arcturus and Tin Star swiftly turned around, only to see the muzzle of a shotgun pointed at them by a heavily scarred grey earth pony standing next to a unicorn. “Don’t move, or I’ll blow your brains out. Now, drop your weapons.”
Arcturus and Tin Star glared at them but did as they were told. As Arcturus dropped his S9, he pretended to stumble, allowing him to toss the pistol towards where Clarion was hiding.
Clarion watched, quivering in fear, as his two heroes were held at gunpoint. Oh no. What do I do?
As Arcturus tossed the gun towards him, Clarion’s eyes were locked on it, staring as it clattered to the ground next to him. Does Mr Arcturus want me to shoot the raider? But, what if I miss? No, Mr Arcturus trusted me, and I’m not going to let him down.
Clarion slowly picked the pistol up and aimed it at the raiders. Stop shaking, he thought to himself. I can do this. Clarion took a deep breath and fired.
“... so the boss sent us to look for the ones who were...” Throughout Clarion’s period of hesitation, the grey earth pony was still talking while holding Arcturus and Tin Star at gunpoint. Arcturus and Tin Star were still glaring at him.
“...and here I found you. Lucky m-”
BANG!
The earth pony jerked, and slumped to the floor, a capsule of liquid bursting on his forehead, opening a large wound in his head. The wound had ridges going along the inside, as if somepony had driven a screw into his skull.
“Argh.” Seeing his companion suddenly fall, Brandy jumped and ran.
Arcturus ran to where Clarion had dropped his S9 and picked it up. He moved to run after the raider, but Tin Star stopped him. “Arcturus, we need to make sure he doesn’t die.”
“What? Why?” Arcturus looked at his friend, gaping at him.
“I’d like nothing more than to watch this filth die, but I don’t want Clarion to have that on his conscience,” whispered Tin Star, looking back at Clarion, who’d gone pale. Tin Star grabbed a healing potion from his belt and poured it over the raider, watching the wound slowly knit together.
Clarion stared at the fallen raider. I killed him. He felt like he wanted to vomit. I killed a pony. He was so focused on that thought that he didn’t even notice Tin Star’s efforts to heal the raider. He was so focused on that thought that he didn’t even notice Arcturus coming up to him and shaking him.
“Clarion. Clarion! CLARION!” Arcturus finally managed to get through to Clarion. “Clarion, he’s going to be fine.”
“But, I killed him,” whispered Clarion, still staring at the raider’s body.
Arcturus lowered his body to look at Clarion more directly. “Clarion. In the Wasteland, sometimes you don’t have a choice but to kill a pony. You know this. If you hadn’t shot that raider, Tin and I might not have been alive right now. And, that raider isn’t dead. Tin’s doing his best to make sure he doesn’t die. Even if he dies, you killed him to protect me and Tin, okay?”
“Okay,” whispered Clarion. Already his face was returning to its usual sky-blue tone.
“Good. Now come on. We still have to catch that last raider.” Arcturus got up and gently nudged Clarion, who began following him towards Tin Star.
“Is he stable?” asked Arcturus, looking at the raider in disdain.
“I believe so.” Tin Star placed hoofcuffs on the raider’s hooves and got up. “Is Clarion okay?”
“I’m okay, Sheriff Tin,” said Clarion, who had finally managed to take his eyes off the raider.
“Now, that last raider went to the town square. Let’s go get him and the boss and we’ll be done.” Tin Star began walking to the town square with Arcturus and Clarion a bit behind.
Tin Star entered the town square with his shotgun drawn. Arcturus and Clarion were still a bit behind, just out of sight in the street.
So, when Tin Star froze, Arcturus knew something was up. He dragged Clarion into a nearby alleyway, where they could hear what was happening.
As Tin Star walked into the town square, he did his best to be vigilant. But his lack of sleep was catching up to him. Just as he noticed a unicorn to his left, that unicorn had drawn a pistol and aimed it at him. He quickly tried to move, but noticed another pony, a brownish-red unicorn, aiming a shotgun wrapped with a yellow glow at him.
“So, you’re the one who’s been making trouble for me,” said Rusty Track. “Drop your guns.”
Tin Star knew that dying here would have been a waste, so he complied with the command. It’s all up to you now, Arcturus.
Suddenly, Rusty was shouting and Tin Star could see a vein twitching on Rusty’s temple. “HOW DARE YOU SCREW UP MY PLANS, YOU BASTARD. HOW DARE YOU? I was going to get rich off of this raid. HOW DARE YOU SCREW THAT UP?”
All of a sudden Rusty’s body language changed, and he stopped shouting. “You’re caught now, though.” Rusty turned to the townsponies slowly bringing him their valuables. “You all! If you don’t give me all your valuables more quickly, I’ll shoot your sheriff and your mayor in front of you. If you still don’t speed up, I’ll break each of your limbs for every second you delay.”
Once all the townsponies had started running to get their valuables and spread the word, Rusty then turned to his last raider subordinate. “Brandy, I want you to keep him alive until I come back. I want to blow his brains out personally.” Rusty spat on the ground and went into the mayor’s office. Tin Star could hear the click of the door locking.
Arcturus and Clarion were listening to everything Rusty was saying. With every word he heard, Arcturus’s scowl of hatred grew. What do I do? If I try to break in through the front door, he’ll hear it and be ready.
Clarion, coming to the same conclusion as Arcturus, tugged on Arcturus’s shoulder. “Mr Arcturus. There’s a skylight in the Mayor’s office…”
Five minutes later, Arcturus was perched above the glass skylight in the mayor’s office, clutching a rock in one of his claws, and his S9 in the other. He could see and hear Rusty threatening the mayor with all sorts of horrible threats. Damn him. At least Clarion doesn’t have to hear that. He should be safe in the alleyway.
Just as Arcturus was about to throw a rock through the skylight, the area of the roof he was standing on collapsed under him. In his haste, he had missed the telltale glow of active magic and now he’d lost both the element of surprise and his S9, which he’d lost his grip on when he fell. The pistol was now resting on the edge of the hole in the ceiling. Fortunately, the glass shards of the skylight had mostly missed him and the mayor. Not so fortunately, the glass shards seemed to have also been prevented from hitting Rusty by a translucent yellow, faintly glowing shield.
“FIRST THAT MUDPONY, NOW A BIRD FREAK? I’M NOT WAITING TO KILL YOU. YOU’RE GONNA DIE NOW!”
Stunned by his impact with the floor, Arcturus could only watch helplessly as Rusty Track raised his shotgun. Sorry, Tin. I failed. He refused to close his eyes, determined to be defiant until his last breath.
BANG!
Arcturus and the mayor both winced as they heard the noise. As they watched, Rusty Track slumped down, with his face appearing as if it had been pierced by thousands of needles. Blood started oozing out of his nearly invisible wounds, giving the impression that Rusty’s blood could ignore the limitations of his skin and pour out.
Arcturus got up, and looked towards the hole in the ceiling. There, he could see Clarion clutching his S9 with shaking claws, eventually losing his grip and dropping it into the room. “Is he dead, Mr Arcturus?”
Arcturus quickly knelt and checked for a pulse. “He isn’t, Clarion. You saved us with that shot. Great work. I might have to teach you to use that properly.”
Clarion burst into a grin and began nodding frantically. “I’d like that a lot, Mr Arcturus.”
Their conversation was interrupted by a loud knock on the still locked door. “Boss? Are you alright in there?”
Arcturus raised a talon to his lips, signalling the mayor and Clarion to keep quiet. He picked up Rusty Track’s body and quietly moved it to the door. All this time, the pony on the other side was silent. Arcturus then swiftly pulled open the door, and tossed Rusty’s body out of the door, hitting the unicorn raider standing behind it.
As the raider tried to get up and grab his firearm, Tin Star quickly snatched up his own and shot him, making the raider immediately start to vomit. “Wonder what he said to cause that?”
Tin Star then placed hoofcuffs on the raider’s hooves, making sure they couldn’t escape. “I guess we got all of ‘em. There’s enough of ‘em to fit in the cells, just barely. Arcturus, could you do your pal a favour and help me bring the rest of them to the cells?” Tin Star turned to the ponies in the town square. “And then we can get to partying,” said Tin Star, loudly.
Hearing this, the ponies started to cheer. Their nightmarish experience was finally over. They grabbed their valuables and went home to get ready. Surprisingly, not a single one of them tried to take something that wasn’t theirs. The festive decor, which had seemed ill-fitting for the horrific atmosphere, once more seemed to fit the mood of the townsponies.
Tin Star locked the door of the jail cell. By now, some of the raiders were conscious, and were screaming obscenities. “That’s the last of them,” he said to Arcturus. He then turned to the prisoners. “Oh, shut up. You’re raiders. You should’ve known this would happen.”
“When will these scumbags be hung?” asked Arcturus.
“After Hearth’s Warming, probably. Now, come on. Mixwell’s offering a discount on his drinks for Hearth’s Warming.”
After climbing the staircase, Tin Star rushed to the table they’d been drinking on before all of this raider business happened. He came back to Arcturus holding a box of Killing Joke bullets. Here, this’ll help you with your bounties. Happy Hearth’s Warming, Arcturus.”
Arcturus accepted it with a brief, “Thank you,” and thought back to how he hadn’t gotten anything for Tin Star yet. I could probably make something he’d find useful. “Sorry Tin, I didn’t bring your present with me, it’s back home. I’ll get it to you tomorrow.”
Tin Star waved it off. “It’s fine, I did give you your present early. It’s only Hearth’s Warming Eve, after all.”
Hearing this, Arcturus broke into a smile. “Come on, we’re missing out on Mixwell’s offer.”
A few hours later…
Arcturus waved to Tin Star as he got on his motorbike. “Bye Tin. See you tomorrow.”
“Goodbye Arcturus.” Tin Star waved back, then walked to his door.
As Tin Star opened his door, Arcturus zoomed off to visit his father.
The End.