The Great Search for Pink Milk

With a thunderous crunch, the boulder fell back onto the ground. Any other wizard wouldn't be able to participate in this workout. I pull on the chain in my right hand, using two percent strength and ninety-eight percent earth magic; I lifted the boulder connected to the chain. The heavier the item lifted, the more magic needed to hold it up. This was the design for the workout. Only adept wizards were given this trial, as failing for even a second would result in my arm being ripped from my torso. I panted heavily, my body soaked in sweat—sunrise to sunset, five times a week. The Shimmering Isles was built on blood and needed strong wizards and warriors to keep her standing. Even though I was exhausted, I wouldn't let mother down.

In my half-asleep state, I rolled myself out of bed, expecting my legs to stop me from falling over. However, I currently lacked my human legs, resulting in myself falling onto the floor and knocking over my end table. I was lying down on the oddly warm floor, halfway wrapped in my cover for a few minutes. Half of me desired to just go back to bed on the floor, but the other half knew better. Standing back up, I made my bed and adjusted the end table.

I thought that perhaps, the stairs would creak and groan on my way down, or I'd lose my footing. However, as I walked down the stairs, nothing happened. Odd, I thought. Usually, something would've gone wrong by now. Granted, mother wasn't here to cause them, but I wouldn't be surprised if she was messing with me from the palace. While leaving me here, just to show me how much of a failure I am. I walked into the kitchen. The smell of breakfast from the enchanted appliances woke me up properly and caused my stomach to rumble. Upon the dining table sat a breakfast befitting a prince of the Shimmering Isles. Two pancakes, two eggs; scrambled, two strips of bacon (replaced with hay bacon for dietary reasons), and two hash browns, still steaming upon the plate.

With a cup of coffee to go with it, I sat and pondered my plans for universal domination as I ate. The book and element are still in my workroom. A smart man would get started immediately on examining them. Gods willing, they'll be powerful enough to open a portal back home. Should this prove impossible, at least I'll have a dinner ticket for when the pre-packaged food runs out. I chewed up a piece of hay bacon.
The book would likely be more comfortable due to my prior knowledge of shadowmancy, so I'll leave the element hidden for now.

Pinkie hadn't visited today; I was sure that I would hear from her by now as I left the party in a state. I wondered what she was planning; she hasn't met Cranky yet, so she wouldn't have learned to hold back yet. I'll likely hear from her later.

Getting up from my seat, I levitated my now empty plate and cup over to the dishwasher and walked into the workroom at the back of my house. I know the sayings are 'Castle Sweet Castle' or 'Tower Sweet Tower.' Still, I've always preferred 'workshop sweet workshop.' I swear I spent more time hunched over a desk scrawling away than outside, practicing magic. The book was under a cloth on my desk, its spikes standing out prominently.

Before anyone starts examining ancient dark artifacts, always remember to put a magic shield around their source. My source is connected straight to my horn as a unicorn, though I miss the crystal balls I used to use. The sound of the bird's chirping drew my attention to a window I haven't covered. Against my better judgement, I opened my oak wood window and hesitantly leaned outside. As I stuck my head out, I expected to be hit by something or have something fall on me. However, I was surprised; the only thing that struck me was a breeze. It wasn't even that hot or cold, just a pleasant breeze.

A small blue bird flew onto my windowsill, joining me during my research. The book was cracked open, and I immediately felt the shadow magic attempting to enter my mana pool. "From in the head to out in the world, every thought to action. Hold close this book and through its spell, you'll start a chain reaction. Projecting forth whatever beauty you see. Only when true words are spoken will you finally be set free." The book's incantation wrote. Generally, once you read this, the magic would infest your pool and whisper sweet nothings into your head until you overdid it. At least, that's what I think happened in the episode. Maybe Rarity just went crazy with power for a while.

I made sure to keep the corruption at bay, only reading the book for now. With my prior experience with pouring over grimoires and tomes, I knew where to look to find out the spell's formula. Reading more in-depth into the pages revealed several symbols, glyphs, and phrases from what I assume to be a long-dead language. Levitating a notebook from a nearby shelf, I began recording my findings. As it turns out, the spell wasn't a beautification spell as I had hoped. It really was a simple manifestation of inspiration. It seemed pretty simple compared to the spells back home.

As an earth wizard, it is expected of me to care for nature and all the creatures living in her. There is a small closet beside the stairs filled with animal feed and gardening equipment; I only require the birdfeed. After teleporting the bag, I filled a small bowl with the seed, left it out by the window, and waited. It took several minutes before a bird finally came by for the food. It was the same bluebird from earlier; he tweeted a greeting at me and began eating. I focused on the bird and charged my horn before casting the spell.

When the spell made contact, almost instantly, the bird was turned into an emerald statue. It was still bent over, a seed stuck in its mouth. I sat there analyzing it for hours to see if it genuinely was wholly transformed into an emerald. I eventually split it in half, half expecting the bird to pop back out of an emerald casing. Instead, all that remained was pure emerald. I crushed the emerald bird into fine dust with a mortar and pestle to hide the evidence. I wouldn't want someone to see this, especially Fluttershy.

I was interrupted from my research as one of the house's enchantments levitated a plate of vegetables onto my desk. The house takes the care of its occupant(s) very seriously and would be angry if I continued without eating. I sought to put my time to better use and teleported multiple spoons, forks, and knives from the kitchen to my desk and practiced the spell on them while I ate. The dinner was eaten in its entirety, and I had new cutlery made of silver, with little gems in the hilt. I made a complete set for each gemstone, Sapphires, rubies, and emeralds.

I didn't think that it had been that long since breakfast, so I looked at the clock. As it turns out, I had spent the past six hours studying, practicing, and researching the book. Not wanting anyone to grow suspicious, I left the comforts of my home and braved the streets of Ponyville once more. It was warm outside in the midday air; everything seemed comically fine. As in, everything seemed too perfect, a sense of peace about the whole town. It was nice, truthfully; I sat down for a moment just before crossing the bridge into town and just enjoyed it.

I shouldn't have; however, I should've known not to let my guard down like that. In the calm, peaceful evening air, I relaxed to such an extent that I actually managed to fall asleep. One should never fall asleep outside on a well-disposed afternoon. That's when reality strikes you down like the foolish dog you were for making such an error. When reality struck, it did so in the form of yelling over in the town square. I assumed a fight was going on and wanted to see what it was, though I should've known better. Teleporting behind a nearby house, I realized it was just the mane six fighting over those gala tickets.

Parties aren't usually where I feel comfortable, but I knew that the Grand Galloping Gala would be the right place to find plenty of old magical artifacts. If that seventh element couldn't get me home, I'm sure something Princess Celestia is hoarding there would. Twilight ran off to get herself and the drake a bite to eat at a local restaurant. I made sure that I was just one step behind them, watching them from the shadows. As I heard the mare yell, "I CAN'T DECIDE!" I knew exactly what to do and when to do it. I cast a water absorption spell on the ground and myself to collect all the water from Rainbow's attempt to schmooze the ticket from its owner.

The water started to pour all around the restaurant, say for one table, the one in which Twilight and Spike sat; I was content to watch instead of being involved. Rarity arrived shortly after, carrying an umbrella, which signaled for me to leave. I forced the water down into the earth with my magic and had it follow behind me as I trotted my way back to the Everfree, where I would capture a ticket for myself.

Healers aren't very good at the 'minion' thing; that's more of a conjurer's territory. What they lack in strength, they make up for in versatility, in my opinion. These spells are illegal by almost every magic council, as there are no good applications. When mixed with water, dirt makes mud, throw an earth core into the mixture, and you've got a temporary minion. Mother had to teach me this next one. Stand planted like a tree, and let your magic spread underneath you like roots. Connect your source to the roots of a tree, and you can see through the bark, stems, or leaves of any plants connected to the roots. It's illegal on the Isles, too, just not for the royal family.

I connected to Twilight's home, the Golden Oaks Library, and teleported my mud spawn in the back of the library. Her house smelled like a princess's tower made of wood, with a hint of books. The books inside seemed interesting. I had no time for reading, though, as the door opened and Spike entered the library. My plan sprang into action as I telepathically made the mud minion scale its way up the backside of the house and into the second-story window. The creature avoided the bed and slugged its way up the inside wall, and stalked the dragon from above.

With a sickening squelch, the mud beast fell from the wall and onto the floor, growling aggressively. "AHHHH!" The drake screamed in terror. The creature launched sticky mud at him, sticking him to the wall. "Sweet Celestia! What are you?!" My mud creature wrenched the tickets from him, swallowing one and throwing the other to the floor. Once the ticket had been acquired, there was no need to keep the minion alive. I set off his earth core from the Everfree, causing the mud minion to collapse and leave a big muddy stain all over the library.

When I stopped giving orders to the minion and returned to my equine body, I found that the ticket was lying in front of me. Sure, it was covered in muck, but it was mine. Knowing that my being here may be clarified as strange, I left and returned home. The grass crunched under my joyous hooves while a pleased smile remained on my face. I was so caught up in my successful mission that I wouldn't notice that my flank and back legs were covered in mud and dirt until I got home.

Later, after thoroughly cleaning the ticket and hiding it inside my desk, I rewarded my good work by going to bed earlier. I just needed to clean myself first. I entered the second-story bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My green fur looked matted, and my brown hair was unkempt. I looked homeless, in all honesty. I turned on the water and waited for it to warm up before setting inside to take a bath. The smell of lavender soap in my fur and hair reminded me of what I fought for, I will have my revenge.