Happy smiles?

by ThePinkiepie

Rating: teen
Tags: Pinkie Pie (EqG), Rainbow Dash (EqG), Suicide / Self Harm, Main 7 (EqG), Gore, Slice of Life, Dark, Alternate Universe, Sad, Rarity (EqG), Equestria Girls
Length: 8783

Everybody has dark secrets even the happiest people have something they are hiding and pinkie is one of them.

Pinkie is one of the happiest girls anybody would ever meet she loves her Family and Friends. Her smiles can light up a room. but even the happiest people can have bad secrets. And what would happen if people found out Pinkies would it do her good or bad?

Published 2021-01-06 01:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-17 22:55:19 UTC

Chapter 1

LIFE IS AWESOME!! Just just a few days ago Sunny, dashie, AJ, Twilly, me, Fluttershy, and Rarity had to defeat a girl named wallflower who took away the our good memories of sunset making us think she was still a big meanie. Wallflower did this with a rock called the memory stone (my parents would love to hear about that....)But all worked out in the end we defeated wallflower and got our memories back and were all friends again YAY.
Pinkie sighed as she closed her diary and put it back in one of the binds in her closet. Pinkie has been keeping multiple diaries for years. It gives her a way to express her feelings and a way to get her anger out and let all her bad emotions go away.

but for the past year the diary has lost its effect on her. It kinda helped but not as much as it used to....
Pinkie had found another way but it wasn't a very good way. It helped her yes it made all her sadness go away all the anger she felt towards her family it worked...but nobody knew nobody could know she had hidden it so well and she was good at excuses when her friends asked her why she started to wear jackets even though it was spring she would always say the same thing "oh I'm just cold".

This morning she got into an argument with her mom about her future. Her whole family were either rock scientists or farmers but Pinkie was different. She didn't want to be a farmer or be a rock scientist she wanted to plan parties and make everybody smile which wasn't normal in her family.

Her mom told her that she needs to get out of her "phase" and study rocks like her sisters and her dad. But Pinkie didn't want to listen she tried to explain to her mom that she loved planning parties and making everyone laugh and she told her mom that she even found a few colleges for party planning and business. Her mom just walked away and as she walked out out door she swears she heard her mom whisper "your a disappointment pinkiamena".

As Pinkie thought back to earlier her eyes began to water "am I really a disappointment?" Pinkie asked to nobody, She starting to cry as her hair deflated like a balloon making it become straight, Pinkie didn't want to feel sad so she did the only thing she could think of..

she grabbed the blade for under her bed lifted her sleeve up showing scars form previous cuts as pinkie placed the blade on her arm and began to cut above her elbow just has she started to draw a little blood her someone knocked on her door

"Pinkie Pie are you ok we're going to be late for school" a raspy voice came from the other side of the door.

Pinkie started to freak out "Crap" pinkie though "I forgot me and Rainbow we're going to walk to school together" Pinkie though she quickly put a band aid on her cut and put on her jacket. "SORRY DASHIE " Pinkie yelled "I'll be out in a sec" Pinkie puffed her hair into its normal curliness and wiped the tears off her face and opened her bedroom door to see a Rainbow haired girl with cyan skin standing there waiting.

"Are you ok Pinks" Rainbow said

"Yup I'm as good as Pink punch" Pinkie said trying to sound happy and somehow it worked.
Pinkie and Dash walked to school. The school was only about a 15 minute walk so it didn't take long while they were walking they talked about school and their friends.
When they got to school they went to their normal meeting spot where they were going to wait for their friends. But today there was someone there
She had white skin a white hair, she wore a black shirt with a brown jean jacket and shorts and she had sneakers and she had yellow eyes.
Pinkie got excited because she knew everyone at CHS but never saw her "A NEW FRIEND" pinkie yelled excitedly as she ran up to her "wait what" dash said confused as she ran up to catch pinkie "PINKIE SLOW DOWN" dash said while laughing but it was to later

Pinkie had already went up to the new girl and started talking to her

"Hi I'm Pinkie pie what's your name? Are you new to CHS? because I know everyone here and I have never met you or seen you before so that must mean your new and if your new then you probably need
some friends and I love making new friends so do u want to be friends I can show you around and I can introduce you to my friends and then we can all become friends'' Pinkie said happily and jumping .

The new girl looked pinkie up and down and scoffed "

I'm Gilda" Gilda said sounding annoyed

"And you're really annoying" .
Rainbow finally caught up with pinkie and Gilda. “Does your whole family act as annoying as you?” Gilda Scoffed.
“Nope,” Pinkie said happily and tried to make sure her hair didn't go down.
“The rest of my family studies rocks but I don't really like that”. “wow” Gilda said “you must be a disappointment to your family”

Pinkie's hair went down and her eyes filled with tears.

“HEY!!” Rainbow yelled angrily “SHE IS NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT TO HER FAMILY”. Rainbow was angry with this new girl. Who did she think she was coming to a new school and bashing her friend like that. “Whatever I'm just saying she probably is, her parents are probably waiting for the day she turns 18 to kick her out if I was her parents that what I would do” Gilda said with a smirk on her face.
Pinkie couldn't take it. She had heard so much she started to cry as she ran inside the school. She could hear her friends and rainbow calling her name but Pinkie didn't care she needed to go to the bathroom where she could get this pain away for her.

Pinkie ran into the bathroom into one of the stalls and started sobbing ‘I really am aren't I?’ Pinkie thought as she reached down to get her blade just then she heard some people calling her name as they walked into the bathroom “Pinkie where are you” she heard them yell…..
it was her friends, Pinkie was scared she put the blade back into her bag and whipped the tears off her cheek and opened the stall door. When she opened it she saw Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy all with worried looks on their faces. “Are you alright sugarcube?” Applejack asked Applejack was not only one of Pinkie's best friends but she was also her cousin and seemed to be the only person in her family to be ok and love the way she acts.

“Y-ya I'm ok ” Pinkie said with a soft smile “Darling what happened we just saw you go running down the halls crying with your hair down” Rarity exclaimed “I..ummm..” Pinkie began, Pinkie took a big breath
“I met this new girl named Gilda and I was trying to be nice and make a new friend and she called me annoying and a disappointment to my family” Pinkie began to lightly cry thinking back to what happened

“Pinkie its ok your not annoying we love the way you acted some people are just to blinded to see it” Fluttershy said calmly ‘Ya and your not a disappointment Pinkie your the best cousin ever” Applejack said reassuringly and giving pinkie a hug “Pinkie dear don't listen to her your am-” Rarity was cut off by Pinkie

“BUT I AM A DISAPPOINTMENT EVERYBODY ELSE IN MY FAMILY IS A ROCK SCIENTIST OR A FARMER AND I'M OVER HERE WANTING TO BE SOME STUPID PARTY PLANNER!!” Pinkie yelled she looked straight at Applejack when she did tears filling up in her eyes.
“Pinkie your not you are the best darn cousin I have ever had and you make everybody laugh and smile that's not stupid” Applejack said.

“not everybody '' Pinkie mumbled to herself. She didn't want to tell her friends (especially Applejack) what she heard her mom say that morning but Applejacks words were reassuring her and AJ were BCFFs (Best cousin friends forever) and she did make everybody smile. It's what made HER happy.
Pinkie smiled and her hair proofed up and she felt very happy at what her friends told her.
“Your right AJ...I'm ok now” Pinkie said “That's good darling” Rarity said with a smile” Lets go class will start soon” Fluttershy said.

The 4 of them walked out the bathroom door and Pinkie went to her locker and grabbed the books she needed for class just then somebody came up behind her “Pinkie!” the voice said Pinkie turned around and there was her boyfriend cheese sandwich standing behind her, him and her had been dating for a few months now.

“Cheesie!!” Pinkie said happily giving him a hug “Are you ok i saw you running down the halls and you seemed very upset” Cheese said concerned for his girlfriend “Ya im ok now cheese” Pinkie said happily “Ok Good but if you need anything let me know'' Cheese said with a warm smile. Just then the bell rang “Oki doki loki cheesie I have to get to class” Pinkie said bouncing away
OK bye!!” Cheese said.

The school day went and left but Pinkie didn't want to leave school or else she would have to see her parents and they would still nag her about her becoming a rock scientist like they did everyday.
”I don't understand why it bothered my parents so much it didn't bother the rest of my family” Pinkie thought as she walked home from school
“Oh but it does” a voice said

Pinkie looked around but saw nobody “who was that” she thought
Don't worry pinkamena I'm just a voice inside your head” the voice said

“I'm not pinkamena i'm pinkie pie” Pinkie hated the name Pinkamena it sounded sad and depressing so she went by Pinkie pie she only went by Pinkamena when she was sad. ‘’and what do you mean it does my cousin applejack reassured me that my family is ok with me wanted to be a party planner” Pinkie whispered

“Oh pinkamena ” the voice begin “you are so dull you couldn't see that she was lying to you all your friends are lying to you they don't really care they just act like it so you won't be sad and the blame will be put on them”
“That's not true my friends tell me all the time they love me and my personality and AJ doesn't lie she's the element of Honesty and-”

“OH WILL YOU STOP LYING TO YOURSELF! DON'T YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LOOK AT YOU. DID YOU SEE THE WAY YOU SO CALLED FAVORITE COUSIN LOOKS AT YOU SHE DOESN'T CARE SHE ACTS LIKE IT ONLY BECAUSE SHE PITIES YOU, ALL YOUR FRIENDS DO, ALL THEY DO IS LIE TO YOU AND PITY YOU BUT YOU KNOW WHO DIDNT LIE TO YOU ”
The voice yelled “GILDA SHE DIDN'T LIE TO YOU, YOU ARE ANNOYING AND YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT YOUR MOTHER MADE THAT CLEAR THIS MORNING DID SHE NOT”

Pinkie didn't want to believe it she couldn't but the voice was right she had been called annoying by many of her peers, her mother called her a disappointment this morning and she hasn't really noticed but she thinks that she sees her friend give her an unwelcoming look sometimes.
Pink's hair deflated as she made it up her driveway there she was greeted by her mom who had also just pulled in.
“Pinkamena sweetie how are you” her mom said as she got out of the car “Oh it was good mom” pinkie said trying to smile
“Oh sweetie you straighten your hair” pinkies mom said grabbing a piece of pinkies deflated hair “It looks much better that that puffy curly hair ”.
“Oh..i'm glad you like it mom..i-i was trying something new today ” pinkie said trying to look happy “Well i think you should keep it this way dear” her mom said curling pinkies hair “Ok mom..” pinkie said.
They headed inside and Pinkie went straight to her room, locked her door and started to cry...Pinkie cried for probably about an hour into her pillow “m-m-aybe i sh-should called my friends” Pinkie said while crying

“Friends!” she heard the voice say “you dont have any friends if you call them with your stupid problem they will just get annoyed”
“But talking to them will make me feel better” pinkie said
“Ya it does..but there is a different way a better way one that makes all your emotionally pain go away” the voice said
Pinkie thought for a moment “No i need to stop doing that it's not healthy.

“Oh come on pinkamena it helps..besides you have done it before what's a few more huh”? The voice said back
Pinkie thought again it did make her feel better, it did help her and it made her pain go away…..
After about 15 minutes Pinkie caved. She grabbed the blade from her bag…..lifted her sleeve up revealing lots of scars from previous cuts. As she cut 2 lines into her skin Pinkie sighed as her hair poofed back up and she put the blade back into her bag. She could already feel all the pain go away and she felt happy.

A bit later she got a text from the group chat she shared with her friends

RD: hey guys want to meet and sugarcube corner before our band practice
AJ: Sure
SunSet: ya that would be fun
Twilight: Ya sure
Fluttershy: Sure
Rarity: that would be delightful
*A few minutes passed* pinkie didn't answer she didn't know if she should “Do they even want me there” pinkie thought
“Probably not they'd be happier if you weren't there they probably only keep you around because they need a drummer if it weren't for the band they probably would have stopped talking to you ” the voice said

Pinkie did her best to ignore the voice and looked back at her phone rainbow and sent a few messages to the chat.

RD: Sweet Wby Pinks

RD: Pinkie you there?

Despite what the voice said pinkie decided to go

Pinkie: Ya sorry i'll be there

“Your going to regret that ” the voice began “they probably wished you didn't come”

“Would you just shut it” Pinkie yelled “Pinkamena are you ok” Pinkies mom said knocking on her door“Ya mom im ok” Pinkie said
After a bit it was time to meet the girls are sugarcube corner pinkie grabbed her coat and was about to head out the door when “Pinkamena” Pinkie turned around to see her mother behind her “Oh hi mom i'm going to meet my friends and sugarcube corner then go to band practice” Pinkie said bubbly

“Why are you wearing a coat it's almost 80 Degrees out,” her mom said while trying to take pinkies coat off. Before she could though pinkie backed away from her mother
“Oh i know mom” pinkie began “I'm just really cold in here but I'll take it off when I go outside”
“Ok then be safe love you” pinkies mom said “Love you to mom” Pinkie said hopping out the door

As Pinkie entered sugarcube corner she was greeting with a wave of heat hit it was burning hot in there when she had her coat on but she couldn't take it off “ok” Pinkie thought to herself “I'll just have to deal with it”.
Pinkie looked around to find her friends then she saw Rainbowdash, Twilight, Rarity and Applejack all sitting at a table so she walked over and sat down “Hi girls!” Pinkie said happily as she sat next to Rainbow

“Hey pinkie” her friends said in unison “where's Sunset and Fluttershy” Pinkie asked “They texted and said they on there way” Twilight explained
“Oki doki loki” Pinkie said

“Pinkie how can you wear a jacket it's like 95 degrees in here” Applejack asked will a slight laugh
“Well Jackie” Pinkie begian “Don't call me that” AppleJack interrupted deadpan

Pinkie rolled her eyes “as i was saying i get very cold easily it may seem like its 95 degrees but im still really cold”
“So cold that your sweating” Rainbow said with a eyebrow raised

“Here let's take it off” rainbow said beginning to take off pinkies coat before she could though Pinkie sprang off the seat
“NO” Pinkie yelled Her friends stood there shocked “you alright sugarcube” Applejack asked concerningly

“YES” pinkie said quickly “I-I just remembered that there is something i need to take care of at home sorry but I'm going to have to miss band practice” Pinkie said with a fake smile
“Pinkie what's wrong” Twilight said standing up
“Nothing wrong Twi i just got to go see you guys at school” Pinkie said as she ran out the door and all the way to her house and into her bed room where she slammed the door and started to cry

“Pinke why are you so stupid” Pinkie said out loud sobbing into her pillow. “You want to tell me what that was about” a voice came for behind her
Pinkie quickly turned around to see Rainbow standing there in the doorway. “Oh H-Hay dashie sorry but i cant hangout right now i got some stuff to do” Pinkie said wiping away her tears “Ya like cry into your pillow” Dash said sarcastically “Pinkie what's wrong did somebody hurt you”
“No Dashie like i said everything is A-OK” Pinkie said acting all happy

“Ya No” Dash said deadpan “Pinkie what's wrong? and why don't you want to take off your jacket” Rainbow asked walking towards Pinkie
“Everything is fine dashie i'm Fine” Pinkie said trying to sound convincing “now I'm sorry but I need to ask you to leave” Pinkie said nicely
Rainbow lifted a brow “No Pinkie i'm not leaving until you tell me whats wrong”

“RainbowDash i Said I'm FINE! NOW LEAVE” Pinkie said ask she shoved Rainbow out of her room and locked the door
“Pin-” Rainbow was cut off by the door slam. Rainbow banged and the door and tried to open it for what feilt like 5 minutes “FINE” Rainbow yelled back “But WE ARE ALL GOING TO TAKE ABOUT THIS TOMORROW” Rainbow soon left and walked back to her house leaving Pinkie alone with her thoughts

“I told you it was a bad idea” The voice was back “Shut up” Pinkie said back “I if they wanted anything to do with you then they probably don'tnow” The voice said in a devious tone. “Why cant you leave me alone” Pinkie snapped back. “Oh poor poor pinkamena ” the voice laughed “I'll never leave you alone I'll alway be here in your head” “My name is Pinkie not pinkamena” “Whatever keep telling yourself that”. pinkie sighed “is there anything i can do to make you go away?” “Oh pinkie” the voice chuckled “ you already know the answer to that”
Pinkie gasped “no i-i wouldn't do that I would never”.
“Oh but you’ve thought about it haven't you you think about every time to grab the blade you even wrote about it in a notebook” the voice laughed “Shut up” Pinkie yelled with tears in her eyes

“I'm not lying to you pinkamena i would never lie to you….but” the voice paused
“But what” pinkie said angrily “It would be too easy” the voice said in a very hunting tone “it would be so easy to just grab the blade and do it. It would be so easy to go outside and get hit by a car or jump off a bridge”. “I-I can't do that m-my family wou-”
“YOUR FAMILY WOULDN'T MISS YOU YOUR MOTHER SAID IT HERSELF YOUR A DISSAPOINTMENT ” “But my friends would and cheese would"

“Oh please” the voice scoffed “there just your friends because they feel bad for you. And as for your little boyfriend i bet when you do die he will just move on to somebody else and not even care so why don't you just do it…...do it…..do it…….DO IT” the voice yelled
“OK FINE” Pinkie yelled back grabbing the blade.

“Good” the voice said

Pinkie grabbed a letter out of a bin in her closet and put it on her bed then she grabbed her blade.

“1….” Pinkie said crying as she put a little pressure on the blade

“2….” Pinkie put more pressure on the blade causing a dent in her wrist

“Thr-”

Author's Note

This is my Frist fan fic sorry if its not very good I did my best but let me know what you think.
More chapters are on there way. :)

Chapter 2

Pinkie put the blade on her wrist and was ready to do it

“1….” Pinkie said crying as she put a little pressure on the blade

“2….” Pinkie put more pressure on the blade causing a dent in her wrist

“Thr-” Pinkie was about to do it when she heard a knock at the door and somebody calling her name

“PINKIE” The person behind the door yelled “its me cheese can i come in” Pinkie froze “Cheesie” pinkie stopped what she was doing hid the blade put a sweater on whipped her tears and ran to the front door. “pinkie hello are you ok” cheese said starting to get worried. Pinkie opened the front door and hugged cheese “oh cheesie i'm so happy your here”

“Im happy to see you to pinkie are you ok your friends told me you had a fit and you kicked rainbow out of your house” cheese said returning the hug. “Yes im ok now” pinkie said happily “Ok good” cheese sighed in relief .“do you want to come in and watch a movie or something?” pinkie asked breaking the hug “and i can order pizza”. “That sounds nice” cheese said with a smile
Pinkie ordered pizza while cheese picked the movie.

When the pizza came they sat on the couch and Pinkie cuddled up next to cheese. Cheese had pick some Rom-com for them to watch but Pinkie wasn't watching she was thinking of other things “did I really almost to that'' pinkie thought “cheese would have found me like that i-i can't believe I almost did that”.

“So what he wouldn't have cared anyway” Pinkie heard the voice say “Yes he would” pinkie thought “he came here to check on me to make sure i was ok” pinkie thought “Keep telling yourself that he probably only came to act like he was a good boyfriend. “SHUT UP” Pinkie thought angrily

“Pinkie what's wrong” Cheese said as he wiped a tear off pinkies check that pinkie didn't even know was there “C-cheese c-can i ask you something” pinkie said trying not to cry “Sure whats wrong” Cheese said worryingly. “I-if if I were t-to die” Pinkie began to cry while taking “would- would you c-care” Pinkie looking at Cheese while crying. Pinkies hair begin to go flat Cheese looked at Pinkie with shock “what pinkie of course I would” Cheeses said hugging pinkie with a sad smile ‘why would you think otherwise’’ “i -i-i-i don't know” Pinkie began sobbing “I don't know Cheesie I just started to think and i-i- didn't know if if you would i-i I don't know of anybody would care if if I was gone”

Cheese broke the hug and lifted pinkies chin up and wiped a tear of her check. “Pinkie of course I, would care your family would care, your friends would care, because you make us all happy and if you were gone I was be devastated and so would your family and friends” Cheese said with a sad warm smile. “Why would you think otherwise?” “I-i don't know i just started to think about it and i...i just didn't know ” pinkie whimpered

“Its ok” cheese said comforting his girlfriend “I Promise you me, your friends, and your family would all miss you”
“Pinkie promise?” Pinkie asked, looking cheese right in the eye.
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye” Cheese said, doing the hand motion of the Pinkie promise.

Pinkie smiled it made her feel a lot better “thank you cheese” Pinkie said hugging chees
Cheese gave a little kiss to Pinkie. “Your welcome pinkie” Pinkie cuddled up to cheese and drifted off to sleep.

*Buzz* *Buzz* Pinkie woke up to the sound of her phone going off and looked at her phone. Realizing it was her alarm for school. She turned off her alarmed and saw cheese wasn't there but there was a note she picked up the note and read it

I had to go home and didn't want to wake you i hope you are better now see you at school
XOXO Cheese

Pinkie smiled then looked at the time it was 5:00am Applejack who lived next to her would be picking her up at 5:30 to go to school.
SO pinkie took a Quick shower, got dress, ate breakfast, and brushed her teeth.

Then she heard her phone start to ring. She picked it up and saw it was applejack she was about to answer. Then she remembered something from yesterday she remembered what happened at sugar cube corner and knew Applejack was going to try to talk to her about it. So she declined the call and texted Applejack

Pinkie:Hey Applejack I'm going to walk to school instead of driving with you today.

Applejack: Are you sure your ok Pinkie i have been worried after what happened at Sugar cube corner yesterday.

Pinkie: YA i'm alright i'll see you at school

AppleJack: Ok then….i'll see you at school

Pinke sighed “ok” she thought “i think my parents and sisters went back to the rock quarry” “Well obviously they would do anything to get away from you” she heard the voice say. “Can you just shut up” Pinkie said out loud as she walked out the door. “You know” the voice began “since nobody is at your house it would be so easy nobody could stop you”. “No I can't do that cheese said himself that he, my friends, and my family would miss me he pinkie promised and he can't break a pinkie promise” Pinkie augured “It won't matter if you're dead though you can't do anything if he breaks it because you will be dead” The voice yelled back “So why don't you just go jump off the school roof or slit your wrists nobody will care. And also has Cheese every told you he loves you”
"Well no bu-" "But nothing be probably acting like he cares he probably doesn't love you who could ever love somebody like you"

Pinkie did her best to ignore the voice in her head yes it was true that Cheese never said that he loved her but she never said it either and its so earlier to say that right.. Maybe she could go ask her friends for help. ya that's good it would be better than-.

“Hey Pinkie” somebody interrupted her train of thought she turned around to see who it was and she saw her cousin Applejack
“I decided to walk to school to so can i join you” Applejack asked walking up to her
‘Um’
“No don't” the voice protested “shes gonna ask you what's wrong then your gonna have to tell her and she will just pity you”
Ignoring the voice pinkie happily started to walk with A.J. “Umm Applejack” Pinkie began this is it she gonna finally get help she thought
“Ya pinkie?” Before Pinkie could speak the voice interrupted her “Don't she already probably has so much other stuff to worry about she doesn't need to worry about you to”. “Umm’’ Pinkie began not knowing what to say “I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry for the way I acted at sugar cube corner but I promise you the i'm ok”

“Pinkie Promise?” Applejack said looking pinkie dead in the eye. “Umm” Pinkie didn't know what to do she could lie AND break a Pinkie promise
Pinkie looked ahead and saw the school come into view. “I’ll promise later” Pinkie said quickly “Come on let's go meet are friends” Pinkie said running to the front of the school. Pinkie ran until she saw her friend Rarity come into view.

“Hey Rarity!” Pinkie said bouncing up and down “Pinkie darling i was wondering would you like to come over to my house after school for a sleepover” Rarity asked “Sure” Pinkie smiled “that would so fun do you wanna see if anybody else wants to come”. “I already asked them and they said there busy” “Oki doki loki” Pinkie said “Oh there's Rainbow and Applejack” Pinkie pointed in the direction they were in.

Applejack saw Pinkie running up to the school. She was about the chase after her when somebody stopped her
“Hey A.J” she heard somebody say she turned around to see who it was and saw rainbow running up to her “Oh hey R.D” Applejack responded

“Ok listen” Rainbow began “I know how to get pinkie to tell us what's wrong “And how do yall plan to do that” Applejack said folding her arms “You know how stubborn she can be when she doesn't want to tell us something”. “Yes i know but i promise this will work” Rainbow insured “ok then what is this brilliant plan of yours” Applejack said still not convinced

“Ok so” Rainbow began “First we are gonna to act like we are ok with what happened at sugar cube corner” Applejack raised her eyebrow.
“Second i asked Rarity to invite Pinkie to a sleepover at her house and tell her we were all are busy so it will just be her a Pinkie and rarity is going to try to get pinkie to take off the jacket” “And how is she gonna do that?” Applejack questioned, “I don't know she's Rarity she’ll think of something” rainbow said. Applejack rolled her eyes “I guess you're right continue”

“Ok next you have a key to Pinkies house and I know that Pinkie's Parents and sister went back to the quarry so-” “Wo wo wo” Applejack cut off “Are u sayin your gonna break into her house” “No” rainbow Exclaimed “we are just going into her house without anybody knowing and without her permission”. “That is the definition of breaking in” Applejack said “Well whatever Pinkie will thank us later” Rainbow rolled her eyes “Wait, us? i thought just you were going who else is going” Applejack questioned raising a brow. “Me, Sunset, Twilight, Cheese, Fluttershy, and you” Rainbow said lifting up 6 fingers “Wait, why me?” Applejack said, confused. “It makes sense i mean your her cousin so it won't be as weird if a family member when into her house” Rainbow Explained "Plus you have the key". “Ugh i guess so” Applejack said “i’ll do it but i still don't like it”
“Awesome this is going to be great” Rainbow excitedly said.

“What's going to be great” they heard a voice say They turned around and saw pinkie standing behind them “Oh hey pinkie” Rainbow said “ i was telling A.J about how i get to go watch the wonderbolts soccer game after school”
“Oooo that does sound like fun” Pinkie said has they all walked into the school.

After a bit the school bell raing and everybody went to class. School went well for Pinkie. There were a few times where one of her friends or boyfriend would grab her arm right where her cut was and it did hurt but she did her best to hide it.

After school was done she went home accompanied by Applejack. Applejack dropped her off at her house. Pinkie went inside. It was very quiet and she didn't like it. The silence scared her so she decided to turn on her music as she went to her room to pack for her sleepover.

After a bit she got a call. She looked at her phone. It was a random number. she thought it might be a prank call and she loved prank calls so she answered.

“Hello this is pinkie pie’ Pinkie said in a very happy tone

“Hi pinkie” the other voice said. As soon as Pinkie heard it she realized it was Gilda and how did she get her number.

“What do you want” Pinkie said in a very angry tone

“Just thought I would let you know I know your secret I know why you wear that jacket”
Pinkie's heart skipped a beat. How did she know? pinkies hair feel “I-i dont know what your talking about” Pinkie said trying hard not to cry

“I know you cut yourself” Gilda said in a very devious tone “i mean its obvious how you flinch a little bit when somebody touches your arm haha I'm surprised your little friends didn't see it its probably because they don't care about you so why don't you do me and all your friends and people at the school a favor a slit your wrist now so nobody has to deal with you and everybody will be happy.” Gilda sounded a bit angry when she said “Goodnight” she finished with a very devious tone.

Pinkie hang up the phone a began to cry no no no that's not true she thought “Yes it is” the voice said “think about it Pinkiameana. Rarity said she asked everybody else about having a sleepover you were probably a last resort”. “You don't know that but I will I can ask her when I get there’’ Pinkie said wiping the tears off her check and getting up she grabbed her bag

“Are you forgetting something” the voice asked “What?” Pinkie asked “The thing in your pocket” the vice said Pinkie Grabbed the blade from her pocket. She really wanted to cut herself. It was an addiction now it made her feel good so she rolled up her sleeve and cut 2 lines on her arm, rolled her sleeve back now and made her way to Raritys.

When she got to Rarity's she knocked on the door to her house after a few seconds Rarity opened the door “Hello Darling” Rarity said hugging Pinkie “How are u this evening” “Im good Rarity” Pinkie said trying to smil “My parents are out for the night they won't be back till the morning and sweetiebell is having a sleepover with one of her friends so it will just be us tonight” Rarity said as they made there way up to her room “IF you want to you can put your jacket on the chair” Rarity said pointing to the chair that was next to her desk “It is very hot in here after all and we don't want you to get sick”

Pinkie thought for a second it was very hot but she would have to live with it and keep her jacket on. “No thanks I'm going to keep it on” Pinkie said putting her bag on the ground “If you insist dear do you wanna watch a movie I can order pizza” rarity asked. “Sure oh oh do you have any ice cream!!” Pinkie said excitedly no matter how sad she was she was always happy to get some ice cream “Of course i do” Rarity said “Lets go we can watch the movie in the living room" They went down to the living room. While Pinkie was in the living room picking a movie for them to watch Rarity when into the kitchen pulled out her phone and texted Rainbow Dash

Rarity: she's at my house you now

RD:ok good keep me updated we are going to her house now

Rarity: Ok let me know what you find!

With that Rarity ordered the pizza and got out the ice cream.

Chapter 4

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3

Rainbow Dash, Cheese, Fluttershy, Twilight, Applejack, and Sunset were all at Applejack's house waiting for the ok to go to Pinkies house.

"I hope we find something," Fluttershy said in her quiet voice. She was worried for her friend she didn't know what was wrong with pinkie but they need, no they HAD to find out.

"Me to, she won't tell us, she keeps saying she's ok but I know that's a lie" Twilight said.

"Ya after what happened at sugarcube corner just confirmed there is something wrong" Rainbow said.

After a bit of awkward silences Rainbows phone rang.

"Rarity said pinkies at her house now let's go" Rainbow said. they all got up and walked into the small woods that connected Pinkie and Applejack's house.

After a bit of walking they made it to their destination. Applejack unlocked the door with her key and they went in. It was dark and quiet. Sunset turned on some lights and they walked to Pinkie's room. Pinkie's room was very net, the walls were blue, bed sheets were pink and there was a cupcake shaped pillow on her bed that looked a little wet for some reason like she had been crying into it, there was Confetti everywhere, and her room smelled like cupcakes.

"Ok where do we begin?" Cheese asked nobody in particular.

"Anywhere" Rainbow said starting to look around "A.J lift her bed up lets see if something is under there "

Despite not wanting to, Applejack lifted the bed with her super strength."Omg" Cheese said, sounding very surprised.
He went under the bed and picked something up. Applejack put the bed down "What'd find" she asked. "I found a knife" Cheese said as he held the knife in his hand. it looked like there was dried blood on it.

"I really hope that's red velvet frosting and something else" Sunset said.

"Ok" Twilight said letting out a sigh "either pinkie hurt someone or she hurt her-" Twilight was cut off by Cheese.

"She would do that she would hurt herself on purpose and she would never hurt someone else" Cheese looked around. everybody had a look on there face a look that showed they were scared.

"Would she?" He asked

"I don't know" Fluttershy said "but take a picture of it for proof when we confront her."

Sunset grabbed her phone and took a picture. "ok let's keep looking"

After a bit of looking around Applejack found a notebook in one of pinkies drawers she opened the first page and gasped.

"Y'all I found something" Applejack said sounding terrified.

Twilight Rainbow Sunset and cheese came over to where she was and when they all saw the page their eyes widened

What was on the page:
Date: Wednesday April 7th

Cutting: already doing that
Hang: no they can't find me like that
OD: maybe I do have some antidepressants pills.
Jumping: it wouldn't hurt and it would be quicker

When should I do it
Next week: maybe
Today: I already tried but one of my friends called me :( I would have done it again but she wants to hangout in a hour

Everyone was shocked they didn't know what to say Pinkie had planned to kill herself but why. Cheese broke the silence
"Wh-who called her" Cheese asked he wanted to know who saved his girlfriend.

"I think Fluttershy did. She invited pinkie to the mall after I had to cancel" Twilight explained.

"Fluttershy '' Sunset said, turning around to see Fluttershy by Pinkie's closet holding a piece of paper. Fluttershy looked like she was crying her hand was over her mouth and she was shaking "Fluttershy what is that?'' Sunset asked as she grabbed the note from Fluttershy's hand and as soon as she did Fluttershy began to fall to the floor sobbing

"Sunset what does it say" Applejack asked as she hugged Fluttershy "read it out loud"

Sunset read it out loud.

I'm sorry
I can't do this anymore. The stress is too much and my family can't respect me for my choices, I feel like everyone would be happy if I was gone. My own friends think I'm just some stupid party animal who's happy goofy and crazy all the time. I just get in the way and mess up everything. I'm sorry I couldn't make everybody happy im sorry I couldn't be a better friend/girlfriend I hope this makes everyone happy that's all I ever wanted was to make everybody happy even if it meant I wasn't and I haven't been happy for a long time so i'm sorry I hope everyone's lives are better now. -

pinkamena diane pie

When Sunset was done reading it she was in tears. She couldn't believe what she just read. She couldn't believe Pinkie felt that way and she's pretty sure everyone was thinking the same thing.

Applejack started to cry and continued to hug Fluttershy, Cheese and Twilight just stood there. They didn't know what to do. They were still in shock.

Rainbow Dash grabbed her phone and decided to call Rarity to inform her on what they discovered.

Rarity and Pinkie sat on the couch watching a comedy movie Pinkie had picked out. But Rarity noticed Pinkie was quiet which was very odd for her Pink Friend. "Pinkie" Rarity began as she paused the movie "is there something wrong" she asked looking at Pinkie."Wha- no nothing wrong you do u ask" pinkie asked. "Well usually you would be talking or laughing about the movie but you haven't done any of that" Rarity explained

"Well i-i thought it was annoying to you. I didn't want to be annoying and ruin the movie for u." Pinkie said looking down. "Pinkie darling that's not annoying and your not ruining the movie. Why on earth would u think that" Rarity questioned. "I don't know I just thought it was annoying " Pinkie said. "Well you can talk all u want Pinkie" Rarity said putting her hand on Pinkie's arm. Rarity had accidently put her hand on one of the fresh scares that Pinkie had cut that morning. And it hurt like crazy but Pinkie did her best for her pain to go unnoticed.
"Rarity can I ask you something?" Pinkie asked she mostly was gonna ask this in hope Rarity would take her hand off her.
"Of course daring" Rarity responded

"Umm well when you said yesterday that u already asked the other first about having a sleepover what did you mean?"
Pinkie asked
"Well" Rarity began. She had to think for a second "I had originally hoped that we could have a big sleepover the 7 of us." Rarity began making up a lie on the spot. She didn't want to lie to Pinkie but she couldn't know about the plan so lying is what she had to do. "So I had asked everybody but they said they all had plans" Rarity finished hoping Pinkie wouldn't ask anymore questions. "Why was it the last one you asked though?" Pinkie asked "Well after the events at sugarcube corner I figured it would be best to ask today rather than yesterday".
"Oh ok".

All of a sudden Rarity got a call on her phone it was from Rainbowdash so she went to the kitchen and answered
"Excuse me darling i'll be right back" Rarity said as she went to the kitchen.
Once in the kitchen Rarity answered.

"Hello Rainbow what did u-" Rarity was cut off by Rainbow dash.

"Rarity, listen we found something but you need Pinkie to take off her jacket and you need to check her arm ok" Rainbow said very quickly but it sounded like she was crying.

"Wait what why what did you find"
Rarity was very confused

"Well" Rainbow started it sounded like she was trying very hard not to cry
"We *sniff* We found a *sniff* a knife and" Rainbow stopped for a second

"And what darling?"

"We found her suicide note" Rainbow said

Rarity gasped. She was in shock why would Pinkie write that "o..k i'll go check her arm"Rarity said with tears in her eyes.
Without giving RainbowDash a chance to respond she hung up and went back to the living room.
"Pinkie dear" Rarity began trying her best not to cry. "Can you do me a favor" Rarity asked as she sat down next to Pinkie.
"Sure rares what's up?" "Can you take off your coat?" Rarity asked. "Sorry but no can do Rares" Pinkie said acting all happy.
How can she act all happy like that Rarity thought.
"Pinkie please take off the jacket" Rarity asked again and there was more of a demand in her voice."I told you Rarity I can't" Pinkie said
(She can't know she can't know).
"Pinkie!" Rarity yelled. Before Pinkie could respond Rarity tackled her and was taking off her jacket "Rarity stop please" Pinkie yelled trying to keep her jacket on. After a few seconds of fighting Rarity finally got her jacket off and was horrified with what she discovered.

There were so many scars on both arms to many to count. Rarity couldn't believe what she was seeing. They were all up and down her arm.
"Pinkie!," Rarity said, grabbing her arm. Pinkie's hair went down and she started to cry. "I'm sorry Rarity" Pinkie cried out. Before Rarity could react Pinkie had grabbed the icecream and threw it in the air making it explode. Then Pinkie started to run and she ran all the way to the bathroom. Rarity was chasing after her and yelling her name. But Pinkie didn't care. She locked the bathroom door and started to freak out.

"Oh no oh no oh no what am I going to do" pinkie wondered

"There's only one thing to do" the voice said

"NO NO I CAN'T" She protested

"PINKAMENA STOP ARGUING" The voice was angry "everything else I told you was true so why can't you just do it if u listen to me your pain will be over everything will be ok just DO IT YOU ALREADY PLANNED ON DOING IT WHEN YOU GOT HOME SO JUST DO IT NOW OR ELSE THE PAIN WILL NEVER END" the voice yelled

Pinkie started to cry as grabbed the blade and counted to 3.
1....

2....

3...
Just like that she cut her wrist and without thinking she cut the other there was a burning pain but Pinkie didn't care. Her pain would be over and everything would be fine. She watched as the blood poured out of her arm she just sat on the floor and watched.

Her vision got blurry but then saw the door open and saw Rarity standing there. All pinkie could hear was a scream then she blacked out.

Rarity ran after Pinkie yelling her name, begging her to stop but she didn't. Pinkie had run into her bathroom and locked the door.
Rarity started banging on the door begging Pinkie to open it. But there was no luck Rarity ran to the kitchen where they kept the keys and she looked for the bathroom key after about 40 seconds of looking she found it and when she did she heard something fall
"Pinkie is that you" Rarity yelled hoping for a response. When there wasn't Rarity, ran to the bathroom, unlocked it, opened the door and screamed.
What she saw was horrifying. She saw pinkie with her arms all bloody; she was on the ground unconscious.

"Oh no oh no oh no" is all Rarity could say as she quickly got some towels and rapped them around Pinkies bleeding wrist.
"Pinkie wake up please wake up"
Rarity looked around for her phone. "I'll be right back Pinkie I'm going to get my phone" Rarity said she got up grabbed her phone and ran back to pinkie. Rarity called 911,

Dispatcher: "911 what is your emergency''
Rarity: "please help m-my just tried to kill herself i grabbed a towel to stop the bleeding please hurry"
Dispatcher: "ok ok what is your name"
Rarity: "Rarity"
Dispatcher: "ok Rarity what is your address"
Rarity: "carousel boutique"
Dispatcher: "ok Rarity paramedics are on there way"
Rarity: "ok thank you"
Dispatcher: "your welcome"
Rarity hung up and quickly called rainbow while crying

Rainbow: "hey Rarity what happened"

Rarity: "R-Rainbow Dash you and the girls need to get down here"

Rainbow: "What why what happen is Pinkie ok"

Rarity: "NO RAINBOW PINKIE JUST TRIED TO KILL HERSELF GET DOWN HERE I CALLED THE POLICE AND WRAPPED TOWELS AROUND HER ARM NOW PLEASE GET HERE NOW!"

There was silence on the other line for a second.

Rarity: "Rainbow are you there hello Rainbow please you need to get down here"

No response after a bit Rainbow finally spoke.

“were on our way” Rainbow said deadpan it sounded like she was in shock.

Rarity: "Ok please hurry"

The call ended

Rainbow hung up the phone and began to cry. “Ra-rainbow” Cheese said “What happened” “W-We ne-eed to go” Rainbow responded “Now”.

They all went to Fluttershy's car that was parked at Applejacks and started to drive to Rarity’s. It was a very quiet car ride, they were all trying to process what they had found at Pinkie's house. Fluttershy was crying while being comforted by Applejack who had her hat down, Twilight was staring out the window,Sunset had her head down while still holding the note reading it over and over agian, Rainbow was in the front Seat silently crying to herself, and Cheese was Driving.

Nobody knew what Rainbow had heard Rarity say over the call. All they know is as soon as Rarity started to talk Rainbows eyes went wide and she started to cry. Nobody had asked her but they all had their own idea. As they sat in silence Twilight was about to ask what Rarity said when all of a sudden there were 2 police cars and an Ambulance drove past them Towards Rarities.

“R-rainbow” Twilight said as she saw the Vehicles go towards Rarities. “W-why are there Police cars and an ambulance going to Rarities”. That got everybody's attention as they all looked up to see the Vehicles making a turn that Led straight to Rarities. “Dash please tell me Pinkie didn't try to” Twilight didn't finish her sentence. Rainbow slowly turned her head towards her purple friend. Twilight could see Rainbow's red puffy eyes from crying. Twilight watched in horror as Dash slowly nodded her head while more tears went down her check. Every remained even more silent and cheese sped up the car.

When they pulled up to Rarities they saw Police talking to Rarity. And they saw Pinkie being rolled into a ambulance in a stretcher.
Cheese started to cry as he ran over to Pinkie. but a cop stopped him "Sorry sir" The cop said "You cant not go unless you are Family".
"Please officer" Cheese begged "She my Girlfriend I need to see her". The cop thought for a second "Ok fine you my go" the cop said.
with the cops permission Cheese went into the ambulance with Pinkie.

The girls ran up to Rarity just as she finished talking to the Police. "Rarity!" Applejack yelled she ran up to her and hugged her. "Applejack im so sorry" Rarity sobbed while returning the hug. "I tried I tried my best to stop her I tried to go after her but she locked herself in the bathroom and by the time I got in she was already on the floor! Applejack I'm so sorry".
"it an't your fault sugercube" Applejack said breaking the hug. "Its mine". everybody looked at her in shock "A.J what are you talking about" Twilight questioned. Applejack sighed she was really hoping she would never had to tell them but now she has to. "this-this isn't Pinkies first time. tryin to do this".
Everybody was shocked Pinkie had tried to kill herself before!. "Then what is it" Sunset asked hoping this was some kind of twisted joke.
"its her 4th" Applejack said looking at the ground.

Author's Note

ok ok I know the end of chapter 3 is kinda dark. But chapter 4 will be coming soon:pinkiesmile: