The Equestrian Foreign Legion
A Bad Decision
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~
He stared down at the beautifully written letters before him, unsure blue eyes tracing the golden sun shaped seal that graced the bottom of the contract. Nervously a shaky hand came up to brush the long red hair away from his forehead, licking his dry lips he looked up at the recruitment pony before him.
“ And this is going to be for four years, right?”
The smarmy looking stallion smiled showing off a set of perfect teeth, his long twisted mustache pointing upwards,” Of course, only four years of service and as I’ve assured you there are no hidden clauses in this piece of paper my colt.” He rapped his knuckles on said document before him,” Just the agreement that you’ll serve and fight for Equestria and her allies over the span of that time. Now, before you start getting second thoughts, I think we both know that this is the best choice you have, don’t we?”
Samuel drew his eyes away from the insistent gaze of the pony,” Yeah, I suppose so.”
“ Haha, cause let’s face it, you don’t have much of a future any other way!” He gave a terrible salesman style laugh,” Most normal ponies are either too scared or too unsure of you, they’d rather not have you around at all, here in the foreign legion though, we don’t hold such prejudiced views.”
“Anypony willing to die - er, fight for the princesses is welcome in, and those are words from Celestia herself!”
The young man sighed dejectedly his gut tightening in protest of it all as the gears of his mind clicked onward supporting this logically sound decision.
He knew this was all bullshit. The last thing this guy cared about was his well-being or future, but the logic wasn’t wrong, even if he probably recites the speech fifty times a day to everyone not a pony.
This was going to suck, but at this point it was the only choice left.
Reaching over he grabbed a pen off the table, slowly he wrote his name as neatly as he could on the line, then dated it.
The recruiter wasted no time in snatching the contract that now contained Samuel’s future, quickly stuffing it down into an overflowing brown bag the stallion gave the boy a nod,” Just report back here Sunday morning, you and the other sign ups will meet with a transport cart that’ll take you to our headquarters for training.”
“ Understood, can I ask where exactly this place is?”
He gave a wry smile,“ Be seeing you soon my colt!”
And with that signal, as well as a general need to go lay down for awhile, Samuel stood up, looking back he saw the small line waiting at the recruitment station hadn’t grown. Just a few desperate looking gryphons, changelings and a single minotaur milling back and forth.
Without a word he gave a half hearted wave good bye and walked off towards the more prosperous side of town. He could hear the voice of the son of a bitch at the station working its way into another poor fools mind all the way to the end of the street.
~
The Equestrian Foreign Legion, unlike the Solar and Lunar guard, was not a source of pride for Equestria.
Having been formed after the Equestrian civil war in which the demonically possessed Princess Luna waged war against her sister for supremacy of the kingdom, the legion was meant as a temporary patch. Pre civil war Luna and her guard were ever ready to answer the call of war when the kingdoms allies requested help, the more warlike sister relished in the chance to perfect her tactics and test the discipline of her troops.
Afterwards though, with her out of the picture and a need for solar troops to keep the peace in a disgruntled land, Celestia devised the Foreign Legion. A motley crew of non equestrians and or criminals led by displaced nobles and other military outcasts that would be sent off to serve in the wars of Celestia’s allies.
Meant to be a temporary fix the princess soon found the institution to be a valuable one, it kept relatively uppity nobles who’s ambitions could spell disaster for the kingdom on campaign as well as provided a means by which normal ponies wouldn’t be the ones dying in another kingdoms lands. Yes she knew it was a morally reprehensible way to fix these problems but practically speaking it was a genius idea.
So it stayed around, for countless years the army was sent too and fro, it grew and shrank at different times and never truly achieved any real greatness, but it wasn’t meant too. With restrictions to keep the size of the legion in check as well as make it hard for any one pony to gain its loyalty, the army effectively only ever did what it needed to at any given moment.
They kept their numbers up by offering double the pay of a normal soldier to offset the higher mortality rate as well as giving lower end criminals freedom as soon as their service was ended if they chose to enlist.
It was so effective at completing its goals that even after Luna’s return she agreed with her sister to keep it rather than return to her role of warrior monarch.
Now the legion was recruiting again, needing to replenish after a particularly hard war in the north. They had taken the brunt of the great Yakish raiding army and barely held out long enough for their crystal pony brethren to arrive and relieve them.
It had been a bloody battle and with a third of its forces gone the army needed fighters, that is where this story begins...
~
The cart that had come for them didn’t actually give them a ride, it simply dropped off a light grey lunar earth pony mare in bronze plated solar guard style armor. Her voice was deep and muscles big, the physical definition of a scary authoritarian mare. She declared herself as a captain and that they would be following her from here on out.
She quickly formed up the gaggle of non pony recruits, gave them the supplies they were to carry and harshly force marched them in front of herself.
The first day was agony, anyone who stepped out of line, got off pace with the rest, spoke out of turn, or even just looked the wrong way was thrashed by the bitch. She carried a whip, obviously not meant for any sort of beast of burden but to keep them in line.
With cruel words that cut deep into anyone with the slightest insecurity and the bite of a whip crack she kept the idiots who agreed to this in formation and moving.
Sam himself was hit more than a few times, he wasn’t particularly inclined towards athleticism and so more than once he fell behind. She would berate him, calling the boy a monkey bastard that not even a mother could love more than once, understanding that resisting in any way would only end badly he held his tongue and pushed on.
By the end of the first day his back was riddled with blazing red marks and scratches, his feet were blistered to hell and his calves burned so intensely that even the slightest movement was torture.
They made camp by the side of the road they were taking, an uneven dirt path that probably had not seen any sort of repair since it was paved decades ago.
That night was rough, their leader made herself a small tent, ate some dried food of her own and went to bed, but not before throwing them the supplies to make a fire and heat up some kind of a slop. Her last words of the night were a reminder that while they could try deserting they had all signed a contract allowing them to be jailed and even executed if they were caught.
They all understood.
It took them two hours to get the fire going, the minotaur who had claimed his hands were experienced in fire making cursed and screamed the whole way through. He was so damned stubborn that he wouldn’t let any of the others help, including the human who did actually know what to do.
Then by the time it was finally going and the food had been cooked, they discovered the slop wasn’t enough. As expected it tasted like dung, that much could be dealt with, what wasn’t easy to deal with was the fact that they had been given too little for the whole group.
Despite Sam’s pleading to one of the gryphons the damned bird tried his luck in asking for some more, which earned him an ungodly hard slap across the face and the others a punishment of no rests on the march tomorrow. The poor guy walked back to the fire with tears streaming down his face that only increased when his supposed new comrades jeered at him for earning the ire of the pony.
He sobbed silently as he sat down near Sam, the only one who hadn’t insulted him yet.
Feeling an awful amount of pity for the poor bugger the man sighed, he tentatively held out his wooden bowl with a small amount of his share of the slop still in it. It wasn’t like he was going to be able to stomach much more of it anyway.
Looking up and over at the human he widened his watery eyes, giving a single resigning nod he gave up his right to the rest of it. Hungrily the gryphon ripped the bowl away, wasting no time he ate the rest with his clawed hands.
The young man remained quiet and watched with slight amusement before turning his head back towards the fire. The company sat around the light for a few more hours, a couple exchanged quiet words but most just rested their beaten and bruised bodies
The mare in charge had not given them any tents or blankets, meaning that as the group eventually dwindled away they fell asleep on nothing but the bare ground.
Samuel was one of the last to go, laying down on his back he looked up at the night sky, the stars and their constellations were bright out here in the middle of nowhere. Soon the outlines of the mountains to the west drew his attention and before long his imagination played wildly, images of dragons flying above and armies fighting below flashed all around.
Then, just as he was drifting away into blackness, a quiet voice spoke.
“ Thank you... for the food I mean.”
With a whisper he replied.” It’s okay.”
There was a pregnant pause,“ You’re kind, shouldn’t be here at all.”
Another awkward pause.
“ I’m Gwindor by the way, you?”
“ Sam.”
And with that the gryphon bade Samuel goodnight and both fell into a deep but short sleep.
~
The next few days were almost the same as the first and by the fifth day all of them had seen improvement. All had become proficient in constructing temporary shelters from sticks and branches, making the paltry meals last longer with foraged sustenance and in suffering a slap from the captains whip when they messed up.
As per Sam’s quiet suggestion made loud by Gwindor during a discussion at one of the few day rests they got the recruits divided themselves into three groups when not on the march. One group would set up the fires, the second would forage for extra food and the last would set up the sleeping area.
Gwindor made a point to stick by his new human friend after the first night, they worked together to keep each other on alert during march and Gwindor could always be found helping Samuel with his camp duties. In fact if it wasn’t for the gryphon keeping Sam in line and supporting him through the hardest parts of the day the boy would most definitely have been whipped till his back was bloody every day.
It wasn’t long before Samuel’s aptitude for organization and the art of fire making was discovered, a set of skills that led to the young man being made an important member of the team. Often they deferred to him as to how the groups would be set up and when they would change duties.
This earned him the appreciation and praise of all but the minotaur who felt no small amount of humiliation at this small monkey and it’s superior survival skills. Especially after having such a terrible first night himself.
There was a palpable tension whenever they had to interact but neither ever escalated it, Samuel for fear of being killed by the massive bull and Andrik, the name of said bull, for fear of reprisal from the mare.
A sound fear, for at a previous point during the journey after the minotaur had fucked up worse than usual and disrupted the entire flow of the march she whipped him. In response he turned and threatened to take her down a peg if she kept doing it, he had taken enough.
The fool didn’t know what hit him afterwards, all of them watched with cringing eyes as she whipped again and again at his face and when he fell to the ground screaming in pain she came up from her position at the back of the line to personally back hand him.
Lifting him up by the horns she displayed his bloody face to the wide eyed crowd,” Any of you other fucks want to try taking me down a peg?”
The resounding no ma’am told her she’d sent the message she wanted to send. She forced Andrik up onto his feet and threw him back into line where some of the group members helped him keep up for the rest of the day.
None of them even felt comfortable thinking about questioning her after that stunt.
This was the standard day to day life they all faced for the next two weeks. Every day they were marched eastwards for anywhere from fifteen to twenty miles, one day they even made it twenty two miles. The mornings were sore from sleeping on the hard ground and the evenings painful after the miles crossed.
The paths they traversed were thankfully all on level ground. However that also meant the trip was longer due to the fact that it often skirted the more uneven grounds that surrounded the Baltimare mountains and the many rolling hills of the east.
As they went they passed many small villages, they found traffic wasn’t all that bad despite the local populations. Day by day oxen drawn carts would pass back and forth, carrying ponies, trade goods, supplies for the rural farms and such. Foot traffic was light as well with only ponies walking between the many farms ever being seen.
On the march they passed through wide fertile valleys, a few thick green pine forests and even over a wide fast flowing river, the name of which none in the group knew nor cared to speculate.
This was one hell of an endurance test, sure the scenery was beautiful but if it had gone on much longer Sam would have collapsed and not gotten back up.
Soon enough though the mornings were started with a thick layer of fog settling on the land, the path began turning northwards. The stench of the sea hit their noses when the winds were strong and gulls often flew above when they ate, looking for any chance to steal from them despite the small amount of food present.
Eventually the recruits had passed up the port city of Baltimare, the lights of which they could see on the horizon in the night from their camp. At this point they began to hear the sea, the crashing waves and seismic roar of the ancient body of water was reassuring to a degree.
The last days of the trip were relatively uneventful and even the pony driving them onwards seems to have lost her energy. They got to a point where the trail was simply following the natural curve of the rocky and cliff riddled eastern coastline.
The group passed through many small costal towns and villages where the inhabitants would laugh as they walked through. Older stallions and mares even asked how they fell for the old foreign legion recruitment crap, obviously this was a familiar sight to them.
Some of the would be soldiers including Andrik burst out into tears at these words, but not one stopped moving.
The next day, when the first usual break was given, just as the sun was at its peak, they finally saw it on the northern horizon.
On the crest of a gargantuan pony made hill that over looked the ocean, a large structure with an aesthetic similar to that of an Iron Age hill fort stood, this was the camp they were to be trained at.
~
Unlike the other military forces of the kingdom whose camps were located in and around Canterlot, the main training ground of the Foreign legion was located in the middle of nowhere on the easternmost coastline.
The decision to place it here had been made to dissuade its more unlawful members from trying to escape, as well as to keep the discontented nobles among its ranks away from any political centers from which they might be able to grow their power and scheme.
The entire complex was made up of three separate wooden walls set upon an artificially made hill, the top was leveled for the fort itself, but the approach was a steep slope on all sides.
The outer set of wooden walls had massive practical defenses on the outside, a long waterlogged ditch, sharpened stakes, earthwork ramparts within and small archer towers dotted the perimeter. Precautions on the off chance that the fort was attacked for whatever reason. Within this first wall was the main area of extensive and utterly massive training grounds as well as large swaths of barracks for the legions members.
The second set of walls enclosed the space in which more advanced and or specialized training took place. As well as the buildings in which the academic portion of training was conducted. Tactical doctrine, formations, everything a soldier would need to know was taught there. This set of walls was also where contracted armor smiths, weapon smiths, fletchers and other workers necessary to any army’s strength lived.
The third wall was the least spectacular, all it did was separate the officers quarters from the rest of the camp and housed the stores of the legion. Supplies, food and equipment, anything that might be needed in the field was kept here.
Samuel and the others however, couldn’t give a shit about any of part of the fort and how it was laid out. At least not yet anyway. The second they passed the main drawbridge and entered the gates they all had one thing on their minds, where do they sleep.
Walking into the bustling town sized fort they were led through the large training grounds and couldn’t help but look around. Many different races worked together in many different ways. Some were training, others building new obstacle structures, a few even looked like they were relaxing, something Samuel hadn’t done in nearly three weeks.
Finally, on the far side of the outer walls they reached a wooden barracks that stood in line with many more identical ones up against the northern side of the ringed wall. The realization that this was a place to sleep was immediate.
Excitement spread fast.
Pushing the door to the blessed room of rest open the mare that had taken them so far revealed eighteen identical beds all in line on either side of the structures walls. What would usually be rather uncomfortable looking beds seemed heavenly after such physical labor.
With a stern look she turned, narrowed her eyes and for a second she held their attention. None of them even thought of going in without her permission. She gave a smug smile at her effect on them.
“ Alright, feel free to take a rest, you assholes have earned it.” The captain stepped aside and waved a hand at the room. The party jumped at the sudden change in her demeanor and their previously terrible situation.
Sam’s small frame was shoved backwards as Andrik elbowed him out of the way. The rest of his fellows shoved and slammed their way past the door fighting between who got in first.
Not that it mattered, upon walking in they all just fell on the nearest bed and passed into a sleep deeper than any before.
Samuel was the last to step in behind Gwindor who had pulled him back to keep him from being hurt in the fray. Finally as the last of them entered he went to walk in and claim a bed of his own.
Before he could however the captain grabbed hold of his arm and with a strong grip pulled him back out.
Startled by the rough and sudden movement he looked wide eyed into her own big red pupils,” Don’t worry I’m not gonna do anything to you, I just wanted to tell you that I took note.” Her eyes softened and she gave him a slight, almost nice smile.
He raised his brow as her grip loosened,” Huh?”
She rolled her eyes and sighed, Samuel could see he was missing something,” You know the whole point of the stupid fucking march we just did right?”
He slowly and concernedly nodded.
She snorted,“ It was for me to see how you guys fared, nobody was actually gonna be killed if you ran away, we just say that to keep you in line.” She harrumphed,” I wouldn’t of let you all starve to death either. It was just see how well you recruits were built for this, damn cruel way to test it though.”
He slowly nodded again partly in understanding and partly in agreement,“ I sorta guessed all that.”
Her bat like ears flicked in annoyance,“ Yeah, well point is I wanted you to know I saw you organizing the others.” Her other hand pointed at him,” Not a very talkative, loud or tall, but you did good out there all the same, I’ll put that in my report for you. Should be good for you in some way or another, maybe even help you out a bit.”
“ I, uh, thank you.”
“ Don’t mention it, just try to remember me like this, not the crazy sadistic bitch you saw for the last couple weeks, I don’t actually like having to do that.”
“ I will.” He looked at her with an inquisitive face and a raised eyebrow,” You know I’ve got to ask, you seem to like a really nice pony, why is this the job you have?”
She let go of him and took a step back, her mouth hanging open,” I... holy shit you’re a bold motherfucker.”
Sam blushed and reeled back, realizing what he’d just said and how two fisted it could come off the young man stammered,” I-I’m sorry I’m j-just curious is all, you’re way different now that your not putting on a terrifying show a-and it interests me!” He covered his mouth with a hand as he once again realized just how bad all that had just been said sounded.
She broke into an unexpected roar of laughter her face changing with it,” Luna be damned, you’re either the worst flirt ever or too sincere for your own good!”
The lunar pony laughed for a good deal longer, basking in the embarrassment of the human before her as he kept silent and accepted the barrage, when she did calm down enough to speak again she continued,“ So you’ve got a lotta questions huh?”
“ Yes ma’am.”
She grinned,” Tell you what, we ever meet again, which we won’t cause it means you’ll have to survive training and a campaign, and I’ll answer all the questions you want to ask me.”
He nodded and returned a small but still embarrassed smile,” Deal.”
She shook her head and took her helmet off, the long braided dark blue hair beneath flowing freely,” If you’ll excuse me now I’m going to take a rest of my own before heading off to grab another group of poor shithead recruits like you.”
He nodded and watched for a moment as she turned to walk away,” Could you at least tell me your name?”
“ You get that when we meet again, till then, it’s captain to you!” She didn’t even turn to look back at him before she disappeared into an administrative looking building, he couldn’t see the grin on her face.
~
The boy slept, like all the others he slept deep and long right through the remainder of the day and night. No dreams, no twisting or turning, just the peace of sleep uninterrupted. At least for as long as the sun remained down.
At the crack of dawn the door was kicked in and a whole new hardass pony woke them up.
Another armored pony, this time a stallion, whose voice was louder and deeper than should even be possible gave a shout,” Alright you fuckers, drop your cocks!”
The group scrambled to their feet, slipping and sliding off the beds, more than one fell to the cold hard floor and hurt themselves.
The black stallion watched whole mess only to stare at the groggy, groaning and now standing members of the barracks with distaste,” Absolutely disgraceful, how many of you get up like that and think you’ll be better at anything other than leeching shit off the ground?!”
A terrified silence filled the void.
He snorted,“ Well Celestia damnit, I’ve gotta turn you pussies into soldiers and how the hell I’m gonna do it I don’t know.” He shook his head,” Alright, get your shit together, in half an hour you’ll get your standard issue gear, in an hour you’ll be expected to stand clean, groomed, dressed and in full view of the general.”
The sergeant at arms smiled at the nervous looks,” He likes to inspect all the new troops so get ready, if you don’t make him happy with the way you look or act, I’ll have to fix that.”
With a flare of his nostrils to go along with the threat he scanned the room,” Alright now, get moving, chow and all that will take place after inspection.”
Narrowing his already squinted eyes even further he boomed,” Understood?!”
“Yes Sir!” The barracks echoed as they replied in unison.
Samuel quietly cursed himself as the sergeant, who Sam didn’t even know the name of yet, came further into the room screaming at those that didn’t move fast enough.
“ What the fuck did I get myself into?”
Author's Note
Well, uh, what do you guys think?
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