Taxes/MLP
Luna slammed open Celestia's chamber door. She dragged a long scroll behind her with a scowl. and dumped it on Celestia's desk. Disrupting her work. Celestia blinked, then rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Trying to focus on Luna despite the fact that she was exhausted from working all night.
"Can I help you?" Celestia mumbled. Using her magic to push away Luna's scroll and continue to work on her taxes. By far the longest task she has per month. Luna slammed it back down on her desk. Demanding she look at it.
"Tia. This is ridiculous. Why do I have to pay taxes!?" Luna demanded. Celestia looks it over. Then gave her a raised eyebrow.
"I don't understand. Why do you have a problem paying taxes?" Celestia asked. Looking over her sister's expenses.
"Because we are the rulers of Equestria! We shouldn't have to pay for our own castle. We are royalty! We are the government!" her younger sister protested. Celestia sighed. Preparing for another fight on why things were the way they are.
"Luna. Things are quite different than they were when you were banished. We have a council of ponies who meet once a month to discuss matters like this with me...and now you. We are not the government. Us and about ten other ponies are the government."
Luna scoffed and let out a chuckle of disbelief.
"Seriously? We have to pay? We control all the money in Equestria and now we have to pay to live in our own home!? Where does it even go? Who even controls it if we don't!?" Luna demanded. Celestia stopped examining her own scroll and looked up to Luna with sleepy eyes.
"You don't want to know the answer." She replied with an embarrassed blush.
"Oh...no." Luna said as she realized the conclusion. "Prince Blueblood. Why is that idiot controlling the money!"
"LUNA! He is our nephew!"
"No. He is your nephew. I disown him."
"Did I mention he is part of the council?" Celestia added. Luna groaned and covered her heads with her hoofs, then sank to the ground in despair.
"Equestria is falling to Tartarus..." Luna mumbled into the floor. Celestia rolled her eyes and turned back to her work. Doing mental calculations of her money and bank account.
"Why do you hate him anyway?" Celestia asked absentmindedly.
"Well, he called me Moonbutt when I told him to be nicer at the galloping gala and called you Sunbutt to the guards behind your back."
Celestia looked towards her sister in alarm.
"HE CALLED ME WHAT!?
"Sunbutt. Kinda catchy." Luna said in thought.
"Don't encourage him! That pest!" Celestria roared as she angrily scribbled down her final calculation. Luna smiled in triumph.
"So...Can we kick him off the council?" Luna said. Celestia gave her sister a disapproving glare.
"No. He is royalty. But..." Celestia smiled and stood up. Luna scrambled up and trotted after Celestia as they entered the corridor. She started chuckling like an evil pony as she headed towards the main entrance.
"Tia? Tia? Where-What are you doing?" Luna demanded. Celestia ignored her as she tapped one of the nearby guards. He yelped in surprise and back away from the Princess in surprise.
"P-Princess Celestia? Princess Luna? W-What can I do for you!?" He asked with a big fake smile while holding his spear high.
"I would like you and some of the other guards to round up the rest of the council and make them report to the castle at 4:00. Am I clear?" She said with authority. The guard nodded and Celestia waved him off. The guard galloped away, calling to others with orders as Celestia turned to face Luna.
"You take over the rest of my meetings until the council meets. Then come to your first meeting." Celestia ordered. Luna hesitantly nodded. Celestia smiled and trotted into the streets. Seeming unaffected by the ponies stopping to admire her and bowing.
Luna's face fell and turned into a scowl as she considered the fact that she still hated taxes and didn't understand them. She couldn't help but miss the old days when the government was a dictatorship. It was much easier then.
Luna nervously used her magic to fiddle with her scrolls filled with unfinished taxes. She took a quill and started her calculations. Occasionally looking up at a stuffed up ponies entering the room. Finally, Blueblood and Celestia entered. Celestia looked smug and Blueblood occasionally gave her glances of hatred. Why? Well, it was common knowledge that the family of Blueblood have been trying to overthrow the throne for centuries.
Celestia sat down next to Luna around the large circular table in a dome royal room. She cleared her throat to start the meeting.
"Hello, council. This our annual meeting of the month. We have many important matters to discuss. First...Prince Blueblood." Celestia announced. Blueblood perked up. "I am revoking your role as Money chief administrator. I have uncovered records that...You have been stealing from the Education found for years. Care to explain?"
Blueblood stammered as Celestia secretly handed Luna a small note.
"Tell him he is bankrupt. -Tia"
Luna gave her a confused glance.
"Bankrupt?" She whispered into her ear. Celestia nodded.
"This is payback for calling me Sunbutt." She hissed. Luna hated Blueblood but even she thought that was too much. Luna looked back at Blueblood who was still talking nonsense, without realizing that they were barely paying attention to him.
"Bankrupt? That is a bit far.." Luna pointed out. Celestia shrugged.
"He can sell his stupidly large mansion," Celestia argued. "Who needs a nine-floor mansion anyway?"
"We have a castle with twelve floors. Tia." Luna said.
"At least it has a purpose." Celestia hissed. Luna nodded in defeat. Feeling surprisingly happy to tell that stuck up idiot who has too big of an ego that he has finally run out of his money.
"Blueblood!" Luna snapped. Causing Blueblood to abruptly stop his rambling. "YOU ARE BANKRUPT!"
"Oof." Celestia hissed before starting to hold back laughter as everyone in the council stared at them for an explanation. Luna giggled and hid her face in her hoofs. Trying to keep it together. The whole scene seemed like the sisters pulled a really bad joke.
"Is this some sick joke?" Blueblood asked with rage. Slamming his hoofs down.
"No. No, this is happening." Celestia said with a stern tone. Managing to pull it together. "Your money is being donated to the Equestrian Education system. Only fair I think." Celestia said, looking over to Luna who nodded with happiness.
Blueblood gasped for breath as if he was being choked. He scrambled out, running to the nearest bank to confirm if it was real. Celestia pulled out a scroll and started on another topic.
"Alright, next is the next Summer Sun celebration..."
Luna poked her with her wing.
"Again, there should be a summer Moon Celebration."
"Luna...Shut up."
Luna and Celestia sat on Celestia's balcony. Lowering the sun and starting a new night. As Celestia used her magic, Luna worked on her taxes beside her. Occasionally moving the moon up as Celestia slowly lowered the sun.
"You can't seriously be working on your taxes still." Celestia said as she carefully watched the sky. Luna glared at her.
"You can't seriously not want a Summer Moon Celebration." Luna retorted. Celestia chose to ignore that and they sat in silence for a while. Before Luna slammed her quill and scroll down with a growl. Turning her attention to the moon as it raised fully into the sky,
"So, why don't we have a dictatorship anymore?" Luna asked. Breaking the comfortable silence.
"Well. I have noticed that ponies don't want to have all their laws governed by immortal beings, they wanted more ponies involved. Which is why even we do taxes."
"Because the first council voted it?" Luna asked. Celestia nodded.
"Yes."
"Why can't we just change it? Without the council."
"Do you want everypony to mutiny against us? Because that is what would happen." Celestia said.
"I hate the government," Luna stated with a pout.
"We are the government."
They suddenly heard shouts from below them. They looked down and saw a tiny Blueblood ordering the guards to let him through so he could see the Royal Sister. The guards of course refused as they were loyal to the Princesses. Not the Blueblood family.
Celestia and Luna sat back down with a sigh. Luna finished the rest of her taxes and set them down before Celestia pulled her in with her wing so that they could watch the night sky.
"Can we pppllleeeaaase have a Summer Moon celebration?"
"Oh, for the love of- Luna! NO!"
"COOMMMEEE OONNN! PPLLEEEAASSEE!
"Keep that up and I will make you do my taxes."
"Alright...Sunbutt."
---The End---
Author's Note
I know it has been months since I completed the story but I couldn't resist writing another chapter despite the fact that I haven't slept in 24 hours and I have school today. It is not as good as the first chapter but I hope it brings you guys a good conclusion to this disaster. :P
Waiting for the Sun
Celestia had done a combination of good and bad things during her time as Equestria's leader. But, revoking most of Blueblood's funds was something she was certain, she would never, ever feel sorry for. She sipped her morning tea as she walked down the corridor towards the throne room. Her assistant, Raven, trailed behind her. Which was very uncharacteristic of her.
Celestia turned slightly as Raven's eyes nervously darted around the corridor and more often than not, looked outside as if Equestria was about to be attacked.
"Raven?" Celestia called out. Raven straightened her posture and gave her attention to Celestia. "Is something wrong?"
Raven removed a newspaper from her saddlebag and used her magic to bring it to Celestia.
"There is a slight problem with the nobels."
Celestia's eyes nearly came out of her head when she saw the photo on the front page. It was a bunch of the nobels, lead by Blueblood. Protesting about their own funds in response to her making Blueblood bankrupt. Some of the signs said:
"Blueblood rules, Celestia drools."
"Bring back family fortune."
"Don't let the tyrant steal your funds too!"
"Blueblood for king."
"Down with the Alicorns!"
Celestia had to reread the story twice. Apparently, Blueblood sold his mansion to a smaller one to save funds after going bankrupt. Then either fired a bunch of citizens and/or convinced a bunch of nobels to stage a protest against Celestia to keep their own money safe. Not once did it make a single mention of how Blueblood had stolen from the Education Fund.
Celestia growled and ripped the newspaper in half as a way to keep her rage in check.
"TIA!" A familiar voice called out. Celestia looked towards the corridor that lead to the main foyer and saw Luna fly through its doors followed by bat pony guards who had been pelted by tomatoes. She landed in front of Raven, who stumbled back with a shriek, only being prevented from falling by Luna's guards.
"Did you see it? Did you see what that worthless nephew of yours did!?" Luna shouted. Being very close to using her Royal Canterlot voice. Celestia took a few steps back from her sister to give herself some space and nodded with an angry sigh.
"Yes. Yes, I did." She spat out.
"So, do you know what we are going to do to him?" Luna asked with way too much excitement. Celestia thought about her options for a moment, then continued down the corridor with Luna. Raven and the guards following a good few meters behind in case everything was about to blow up.
"Well...No. Not yet." She admitted.
"I have an idea." Luna said with a big smile and her head held high. "We break his legs by accident and then-"
Celestia knew exactly where this was going. Before Luna was banished, medicine and medical spells weren't well known. So, if somepony broke their leg, they would have to be put down. (If you know what I mean.) Thankfully, shortly after Luna was banished, wheelchairs became a thing. So it wasn't necessary anymore to do that cruel act.
Luna may have been back for a couple of years now but it was clear, she either purposely avoided finding out about the advancements in health care or she was ignorant about the whole area.
"We are not killing him!" Celestia barked a bit too loudly so that her voice echoed across the halls. Causing the guards to talk and spread rumors. Luna groaned in annoyance and mumbled under her breath about how in some ways, the olden days were better. "Are you trying to get us thrown out of Equestria!?"
"FINE!" Luna said with a pout. "If you are so smart, then you think of a better plan."
Celestia and Luna trotted in silence for the rest of the way into the throne room. Then Celestia came to a halt in front of one of the clear windows and gazed at the rising sun when an idea popped into her head.
"I have an idea."
Luna awoke from the dream realm a few minutes before sunrise. She held her head up as she relaxed on her balcony and stared up at her beautiful moon. She considered what Celestia had announced yesterday. She announced that she had a plan on how to deal with the protesters and didn't explain. She simply went on with her day with a happy smile. Luna wondered what her sister could possibly do as she lowered the moon to its resting place and waited for the sun to appear over the horizon as she completed the action.
Nothing.
She stared blankly at the dark sky without a moon and thought that maybe she was hallucinating. No. After slapping herself with her wing and pinching herself, she concluded that she wasn't dreaming and the sun wasn't coming up. She stared at the sky with mixed emotions. She was happy that the night would be appreciated more. But mostly concerned for her sister.
She flew into the sky and watched as confused ponies left their homes and talked among themselves about where the sun was. She watched as the protesters were grouped in front of the castle. Then she saw her sister, standing in front of them with a neutral expression.
Luna landed behind the growing group of civilians mixing in with protesters, demanding to know why the sun wasn't up.
"My dear ponies," Celestia announced. She used her magic to amplify her voice so that all could hear. "The sun will not raise-"
She was interrupted by roars of outrage that were quickly silenced by her hoof slamming on the cement.
"As I was saying. The sun will not raise until this foolish protest is dispersed."
Blueblood stepped forward confidently with a scowl.
"We have the right to protest! We have the right to free speech!" He yelled. A crowd of cheers backed him up. Celestia started laughing and had to use her wing to wipe tears from her eyes.
"T-That is hilarious coming from you!" She said through laughter that turned to giggles. "Was anypony aware that Prince Blueblood stole funds from the education system for years!?"
There were horrified gasps and nobels moving to disassociate from Blueblood almost immediately. Celestia didn't doubt that some of them actually knew about it. Then one of the small fillies trotted up to Celestia and hugged her leg.
"Did Pwincess Wuna make you bad?" The little filly asked. Celestia gawked at the filly and the mother and father quickly grabbed her. Bowing frantically as they rejoined the crowd. Luna growled and flew into the air so that all would gaze at her.
"Art thou STUPID!?" She yelled in old ponish. Celestia hoof planted herself and groaned. Luna teleported next to Celestia. Her nostrils flaring as she addressed the crowd.
"Blueblood is a complete idiot!" Luna yelled. The citizens couldn't agree more on that fact and for once, nodded in agreement. "I am protesting that the council revokes his title of PRINCE!"
Luna turned to glare at Celestia, who was blushing in embarrassment.
"G-Gah, We-Well...I-I, Luna. He is your nephew!" She stammered out. Luna moved to pressed her hoof on her sister's chest to get her point across. "As I have already informed you, dear sister. I disown him. He is all yours."
After many moments of silence. The protesters agreed to disperse and Celestia raised the sun once again. Yet, within hours of the issues being resolved. Luna started her own protest in front of the castle. Even letting the ponies in to make their point. Blueblood. That afternoon. The council decided to revoke his title.
And all was well in Equestria. At least until a new threat emerged or the sisters decided to get into another argument.
---The End---
