Friendship is Self-inset College AU Crossover

by Justice3442

Rating: mature
Tags: Profanity, Adventure, Crossover, Sonata Dusk, Alternate Universe, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Aria Blaze, Sex, Adagio Dazzle, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 7731

Siblings Justice, Just-Sis, Vengeance, Detonator, and Righteous all hang out with Sunset Shimmer, The Dazzlings, and their practically random assortment of friends. Degrees will be earned, buildings will be burned, and lesson will be learned.

Siblings Justice, Just-Sis, Vengeance, Detonator, and Righteous all hang out with Sunset Shimmer, The Dazzlings, and a whole crew of friends who are often there bereft of explanation. Join them in their merry journey of scholarly learning, students flirting, and structures burning.

Related stories of madness:
The Dazzlings are Insane
Totally Random!

Published 2021-01-12 15:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-16 03:35:18 UTC

Ceiling Wars

Ceiling Wars

“Oh my God, that was amazing!” Sunset Shimmer exclaimed, wearing nothing more than a delirious smile on her face. Her brilliant turquoise eyes had seemingly picked a spot above her to focus on and her red-and-yellow hair, soaked with sweat, clung to her breasts as she blinked the salty water from her eyes.

Popping up from under the dark marron bed cover, a male with sapphire blue skin, deep ocean blue eyes, and long rose-purple hair with shimmering midnight blue highlights practically copied Sunset’s smile. “Can we go again?!”

“Oh! With more of that green smoking magic.”

“Hah! Yeah! Just… really try to mess our shit up.”

Sunset glanced skyward. “Oh man... just mess us up sideways-frontways-and-backways.” She locked eyes with the pair across the room from her. “Seriously, Equestria has been a nightmare of Troglodytes, Trolls, and terrible, terrible court sessions,” she mumbled.

Justice’s eyes went vacant. “If I hear one more word about radishes I will figure out a way to annihilate them from existence.” His mouth twerked. “I should check if Starlight hates radishes.”

“Terrible idea, lover of mine!” Sunset exclaimed. “She loves radishes, but might just do it to see if she can.”

“I know,” Justice replied with a manic smile.

Sonata slithered up from Sunset’s right, her cobalt blue striped hair sticking to her body. She shot a sangria shaded death glare at Justice. “If you destroy radishes I will kill you, for realizes.”

Justice let out a satisfied sigh and collapsed backwards unto the bed. “That was amazing, I think my heart almost exploded there, death felt imminent. Shall we go again?”

“Yes,” Sonata answered curtly.

“How intense of an emotion connection do you want?” Sunset’s bed companion asked as his head tilted slightly sideways his smile turned delirious.

“And how hard do you want to physical connect?!

“Do you three want to feel what we feel?”

“No joke, with this many we’re going to orgasm pass out for sure and maybe die, except for the part about being immortal…”

“Word. The neighbors might be scared of the screams.”

“The goat should be on lock-down.”

“Windows left open!”

“Police pre-warned of noise complaints.”

“Homeland security told no one is in danger in anyway that can be charged in a court of law.”

“The Men in Black emailed those sounds were terrestrial, though study worthy.”

“Bats checked on for vertigo.”

“Dogs treated for PTSD.”

“CATS left alone, because, that was weird but they’re doing cat things.”

“Trees treated for anxiety!”

“Eels—”

“Alright, already!” Aria Blaze shouted. A palm covering her eyes and a loose-fitting Darth Vader t-short, sporting the figure holding a lightsaber over his shoulder as the incomplete Death Star II hovered overhead a squadron of TIE Fighters flew by. A tight-fitting pair of boxer briefs featuring a fully armed, in multiple senses of the phrase, Pickle Rick completed her ensemble.

Sonata Dusk, a magenta bra sitting atop her head and a single cup covering a sizeable portion of her face, popped up on Sunset’s left. “We’re keeping them, right, right?! I mean, my nose started bleeding, like, really fucking bad during that last orgy, but I think about everyone got off on it.”

Adagio Dazzle, wearing an open magenta robe made of silk with a gold dragon print of Asian origin, shot her own bed a bemused look as she whipped her own sweat soaked hair from her face. A realization struck that she had more than a little copiability in this assembled madhouse and would have to occasionally damage control the trio of psychotics in front of her and that she had maybe, possibly, conceivably, penchant, perhaps made a mistake when she invited them both to live with the three. “Aria, you’re in charge.”

Aria lifted her hand and brushed a strand of dark-purple hair away. “Seriously?”

“…. Maybe,” Adagio responded as she watched a tittering Sunset beset upon by Sonata and the other occupant of the bed. “Sonata, Justice, maybe take it easy and just lay next to Sunset and—nope—okay, oral sex it is.”

Adagio caught a flash of something fast and light purple. Her arm swatted it away, but her legs wear quickly cut out from under her. “Mother fuck!” she exclaimed as she fell to the ground, her attempt to roll to safety cut short by a foot placed directly on her naked sternum.

“Alright,” Aria said with an icepick smile. “I’ll run you and—”

“Holy Christ on a motor-cyc!” Sonata exclaimed. “I think I met God, hot girl Satan, Quetzalcoatl, and at least two Hobbits… Dagi, Ari, do either of toy have some spare blood to keep me con-science-conscience, erm...”

“Just a sec, ‘Nata,” Aria replied. She smiled victoriously at her sister below her “Fuck yeah, I’ll run cum-dungeon Arkham Asylum.” An unpleasant thought smashed into her mind like a Texas-sized meteorite crashing into her psyche. “You’ll still pay the bills and take care of, you know… our vast, mostly-secret empire?”

Adagio let out a chortle. “Of course.”

“Fuck yeah,” Aria uttered.

“Seriously!” Sonata called out. “Super woozy and dimensionally unhooked… so… there’s blood in the blood fridge! It’s the mini-fridge that is red because of all the blood packs I keep in case of blood loss related emergencies… of which this is!” she added.

“Aria, I’m in love with your shirt!” Justice called out. “Let me get a better look! Also, Sonata definitely needs that blood.”

Sunset chimed in. “And I could really use a sandwich if you two are taking request.”

“Oo! Samezies!”

“You owe me a quarter, Justice!” Sonata woozily looked at her sisters. “Please also get me a sandwich, which may or may or be my last, you dilly-dallying dicks.”

Aria swallowed. “I’ve made a terrible error in judgment, haven’t I?”

Adagio snickered. “Yes.”

Aria looked down and glared. “Make me a sandwich. Bitch.”

“Oooff!” Adagio’s eyes shot open wide and she clenched her thighs together and let out a soft moan as pleasure rocked her body. “Uh… I’ll make five in—ffff-ffff— a bit—” she moaned again “—here.”

“Cool,” Aria replied. “I’ll handle some drinks and the blood for Sonata.”

“Justice,” Sunset began, “I think I’m blissed out. Is that the ceiling above us or a really, really, cloudy sky with tiny little shadows and-fuck, that’s definitely the ceiling.”

“I’m really glad you said something, I was convinced that was a really detailed cloud.”

Sonata snickered. “How many pixels would you say the ceiling is.”

Sunset and Justice exchanged glances.

“A metric fuck-ton,” Justice replied.

Sunset guffawed. “Did you mean resolution, ‘Nata?”

“No!” Sonata said with a lopsided grin. “The ceiling is reality amount of resolution.”

~~~ooo--- Roughly 20 minutes of inane banter later ---ooo~~~

“I say war with the ceiling gods!” Sunset cried her naked body smeared with blood diagonally across her chest to match the bloody handprint over her left eye.

Justice sneered at her, a ragged, bloody lightning bolt drawn over his right eye. “And I say peace! Plus I- like-already made friends with a bunch of them.”

“War, mother duckers!” Sonata cried.

Sunset gave her husband a frenzied look. “War it is!”

“Damnit! I had already made movie plans with the ceiling gods and their leader, Mitch.”

From the other side of the room, Aria and Adagio watched. Aria’s left eyebrow twitched as she tried to process the Sonata+++ insanity she was watching.

Adagio took a bite of a sandwich. “You’re in charge of this bitch. Good fucking luck.”

Author's Note

Only clean room

Sunset sighed and tugged at her leather jacket’s coat sleeve, “Is cool, I’ll just… you know… do my Rainbooms thing.”

Justice frowned, and stood to his feet, looking like he wanted to either hug Sunset, plead her case for joining the band, go on a tirade, or most likely do all three at once, as per his-her usual idiom.

“Sunny,” Aria began, “we’re not going to say ‘no’ to a guitar player—”

“Sexy guitar player,” Justice pointed out.

Sunset’s face burst into a flaming smile accompanied by a generous heaping of mirthful laughter.

Adagio shot a small scowl at Justice, “Your wife loves you, this battle was won for everyone before it started, Aria doesn’t need—”

“Sexy guitar player,” Aria corrected. “Thanks, dude.”

Adagio pointed at the laughing couple who had collapsed unto her bed, Justice managing a thumbs-up. “You know that only encourages that sort of behavior, dolt. Also, stop having meetings in my bedroom.”

Sonata gave Adagio a pout and batted her eyelids exactly twice, “Your bedroom is the only clean room in the house. The goat has taken over the living room and we’re all too proud of his initiative to take it back right away, though his lack of thumbs means the clutter remains. Aria, Sunset, and Justice have some sort of unstoppable and delicious ‘half-drunk cup, can, and bottle army’ going. My room is covered with beanie babies in case the market bounces back, or at least until I release them back into the wild as my bean-based army of cuteness with paring knives attached. The kitchen is-” Sonata glanced at Sunset and Justice “-a lot cleaner than usual but still a home for filth and Charry, the black, flaky oven coating. No one has room for all their art projects in their space. Aria hates hampers. Sunset is the only person other than you who has the time of day for fitted sheets. The space around Justice seemingly fills with snack-food the longer he remains in it. Sunset’s organization system is the floor (thanks for that one Justice).

Justice gave a double thumbs-up with an arm that was less-than-playfully punched by his angrily smirking wife. Her less-than-vicious assault was met with a mouthed ‘ow!’

“Justice’s organization system is any flat surface above the ground!”

Justice glared at Sunset only to find his smiling wife covering her eyes with a hand and pointing at Sonata.

“And Aria and I leave entire finished lego projects where we think people might step on or run into them because we’re evil!”

Aria nodded, “And we’ve all resigned ourselves to our fates.”

“Sunset and I are working on improving ourselves!” Justice pointed out to a single, serious nod from Sunset.

The trio of sirens drizzled glowers on their lovers.

“Save that shit for when you’re done which college,” Aria said.

“Denied!” exclaimed Justice.

“No! Super denied.” Super echoed Sunset. “Believe it or not we’re quite a bit annoyed we just leave our shit everywhere!”

Justice nodded.

"Also, requesting less lego buildings in the hallway in front of our door and the main bathroom, Team Hates Feat!" Sunset added, glaring serrated daggers at Aria.

Justice chose Sonata as the recipient of his glower. "I accidently Godzillia'd a replica of Tokyo and do not feel particularly great about it." He smirked. "Though, the terrified screams were a nice touch."

Sonata grinned at Justice and took both his hands into hers. "You're sending me some wildly mixed signals."

Aria inhaled deeply and exhaled. She turned towards Adagio. “Look, we’re collectively sorry we’re all Team Spaz members except for you.”

“Yes, my lucky break for being the only one without a truckload of disorder,” Adagio answered dryly.

The rest of the group exchanged glances.

“Who wants the first nymphomaniac line?” Aria asked.

Sunset’s hand shot up, Justice's mouth opened to speak, and Sonata grinned wide as she sashayed to stand between Justice and Sunset.

“That was a lie, you horny, hypocritical sluts,” Adagio said, her eyes narrowing. “And also a test you all either passed or failed depending on how honest you’re willing to be with yourselves.”

“You were the one claiming to have no disorders!”

“Justie-hun, be less honest,” requested Adagio.

“Bae!” Sunset shouted. “Do not make out like you’re some neurotypical model of emotional health, you bipolar, spite-driven ass-clown.”

Adagio grit her teeth, “Justice, be less honest, more vocal, and take up spousal beating as a hobby to your kettle of a wife.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Sunset exclaimed as her husband collapsed into a pile of guffaws. “Sonata,” she said as she reached out for her ‘Nata-baby’s thigh, “please cover us with a sheet because of how dead we’re going to be when our lungs give out.”

“Fuck you!” Sonata said, her face turning serious. “I saw that sheet first! I’m keeping it. I’ll go full Chief and pillow smother you both before you get that sheet!”

“No more One Flew Over the Coocoos Nest in my bed!” Adagio motioned to the brass door exit to her room. “There are other beds for you all to play Film Foreplay on.”

Aria folded her arms across her chest. “Rad, did you miss the part where we asked you to be in the fucking band?!”

Sunset chortled and sat up, “No! I just wanted to hear a bit more than, ‘we need a good-looking guitar player’ and ‘we need a soprano’ for that fucking matter!”

Aria threw her hands up in the air and leaned in close. “We want a great soprano and a kick-ass guitar player, Red.” She pointed at Justice while staring directly into Sunset’s turquoise eyes. “Plus, he has a lot of range.”

Sonata slinked behind her two lovers on the bed and covered Justice’s azure eyes with her hands, “Hehe, you have more vocal range than me!” Sonata leaned her head upside-down in front of Justice’s face, her teeth suddenly turning 100% shark and her. “Give me your voice box!” she demanded, punctuating her statement with a smile and a wink.

Justice recoiled in a Sunset Shimmer direction momentarily then managed a breathy smile back.

Sonata tilted her head to focus intense indigo eyes on Sunset, “Also, I was going to punch ‘Dagi in her vag, in her sleep, if she left you out.”

Adagio sighed heavily, “Please shut up—"

“Never!”

“— I’m enjoying the new open-door policy for the most part.”

The laughter from Team ‘Not Your G-damn Bed!’ increased.

Adagio groaned and placed fingertips against her forehead. “I suppose you were going to help Sonata?”

“..Make popcorn before I watch the vag punching?” Aria offered.

“Just once! Dubs-tee-eff, Ari!”

Why you were taught not to throw things

Aria hucked the medical bag of blood in a Sonata-ward direction, landing a hit directly against her face.

“ArgggUhhyhggggguuuuuh!” The ceiling gods are violently seeking parlay!”

“Stop fucking around and eat your goddamn sandwiches.” Aria demanded as she placed a silver serving platter of assorted sandwiches on the bed in front of the trio of nude, bloody warpaint-covered duvet warriors.

“You’re not my real mom!” Justice fired back. The resulting desk lamp, it’s body a shapely and ornate polished brass and it’s shade a beautiful lavender with deep purple flowers, that was thrown left him mildly concussed.

Sunset hucked the lamp back at Aria. Aria caught the lamp which was quickly snagged by Adagio, cuddled slightly, and placed back on it’s perch.

“That’s my husband and I need him!” Sunset looked down, noticing her 'husband' was suddenly looking far more feminine in the face, chest, crou- er - far more feminine than a second ago. "Wife?" Sunset enquired.

"Whatever reduces the number of lamps to forehead ratio to zero over zero," Justice answered.

Sunset nodded then looked back up. "Seriously, though! Requesting brake-pumpage until after lunch."

Sonata elbowed Sunset as the siren type-writer style devastated her sandwich with razor-sharp teeth.

"Dinner!" Sunset corrected. "Or at least through reasonably light and soft things for a few hours."

“You tell her-Sun… Sunny-bunny,” Justice produced a middle finger that missed the strikingly spiky, and purple target of one Aria Blaze. Sunset helpfully repositioned the finger and added one of her own middle digits for good measure.

Return fire was initiated.

“Aaaria!” Sonata cried like a drama-factory work whistle, her sandwich having been shown no mercy. “That’s the only source of dick we have without using magic or going outside to woo, kidnap, or woo and also kidnap Flash Sentry.”

“First off, fuck you for 69% of that sentence,” Sunset fired off at Sonata. “Second off, you three have less than zero issues getting guys to notice you and wanting to figure out just how close the curtains match the drapes!”

Aria chuckled and began handing out sandwiches to the barely conscious team of bed crusaders. “Seriously, Sunset. You defs need blood sugar.”

“Render onto Sunset!” Sunset growled as she snatched two slices of thick sliced bread which were generously loaded with meats, cheese, veggies, and visible mayonnaise and mustard peaking out here and there. Said sandwich quickly became close friends with Sunset’s mouth.

“Carpets…” Justice mumbled as Adagio shoved a sandwich into her hands. “Carpets match the drapes…”

“Sunset,” Adagio began, “in regards us defaulting to your taste in men and boys with fast cars; believe it or not we’re terrible judges of character.”

Sunset began to glare-choke on the piece of sandwich she was eating. Justice quickly swallowed the chunk of sandwich she was chewing. “Holy G ‘Dagi! What will we all fuck if Flash is melted down like that?”

Sunset cough-laughed herself out of needing to be power-big spooned to save her life. “Seriously, you three think you’re poor judges of character?”

The trio of Dazzlings all looked exchanged ‘Should we take this one or continue our lunch break?’ smiles.

“I will dizzy-shank anyone who attacks Sunset and I with a ‘judge of character’ line!” Justice cried, his masculine form returning and deep ocean blue eyes locked on the sandwich in front of him. “Or anyone in this room, for that matter.”

The sandwich, while impressed, continued its stoickly sandwich nature and said nothing.

“Yay!” Sonata cried. “We’re popular around this bedroom!”

Sunset smiled over her half-devoured sandwich. “And I’ll talk him down! He’s clearly over-lamped and has nothing to shank with.”

Sonata let out a provocative giggle. “If you say so.”

Aria! and the Blaze-Itz

“Nerds,” Aria grunted in disgust.

Sunset gave Aria a disgruntled look while Sonata and Justice perked up as if they had both been called by name.

“I beat Aria in hand-to-hand combat and that makes me the new boss.”

“Why wasn’t I invited?!” Screamed Sonata.

Sunset’s right eyebrow, “So you three decide things on Klingon rules?”

Justice’s eyes narrowed, “Wait, was beating Adagio at hand-to-hand combat the only requirement for being in charge of all of us? Because I’d be in charge like 14 times in that case.” He turned to Sunset, “Babee,” He said, his voice pitching up on the ‘ee’. “How many times would you say you’re in charge of the Dazzlings?”

Sunset gave Justice a full majin saiyan smile, “You mean excluding the time I blasted all three with a Pink Floyd alicorn rainbow?”

“Wow,” Sonata uttered while indignantly hiding her nudity with a salmon-colored sheet. “To think I let you earn a pair of red wings off me.”

Sunset snorted a laugh, “I think you mean ‘on me’!”

“I know what I said, cherry lips.”

Justice’s eyes grew distant, “I think I have a cherry fetish.”

“Justice, what the actual fuck!” Sunset exploded.

Sonata gave Justice a funny look, like a slack-jawed fish half-gasping for air, “I’m not sure you’re getting the nomenclature, here.”

Justice replied by flying a hand aeroplane over the dual-hills of her exposed chest and crashed it into a spluttery mess on her lips.

Sonata’s expression changed to that of sadistic glee. “Oh no! Those poor virgins!”

Justice’s eyes shot open wide. “Wha-what? Am I dick-planing these virgins?!”

Sunset grinned devilishly, “Is he jumping from a diving board to dive-dick these, thankfully already in a pool, virgins?!”

Adagio gave her lovers a grinch smile, “Do these poor girls explode in a torrent of blood on impact?!”

Sonata laughed out an, “I love yoi!” to her lovers in the bed.

“Jerkwads, sush!” Aria exclaimed. “Look, I’m in charge, we’re changing our name to “Aria! And the Blaze-Itz’ and we’re not an emo-screamo cover band!”

Sunset shot a smirk at Aria, “Only if my band name gets to be ‘Four-Turnty.’

Justice narrowed his eyes at Aria.

“What the eff can I do for you,” Aria replied coldly.

“I require emo,” Justice declared as she tilted her head allowing her long, dark-blue hair to cover one side of her face. “Without its life-charging energies, I won’t be able to feel emotions.”

Sonata gave Justice an ice-pick smile, “You’ll have to live with only occasionally doing covers and constantly doing someone named ‘Four-turnty’.”

Justice’s face lit up like a Killjoy firing of a repainted Better Living INDustries lazer-pistol. “I relinquish my Adagio victories to Aria. All my dreams are coming true! Also, changing my band handle to Forty-Two PM”

Smiling, Adagio lifted a hand over her brain as if to say, ‘Get out of my head!’ , “You’ll make all your heart sibs double jealous!”

Sonata gave Adagio a shark-smile, “I’m giving you all my victories over you!”

Adagio shot Sonata a glare of crimson seawater, “You can keep those,” she added a growl and gurgle to the end of her sentence that caused Sonata to freeze in place.

Sonata, still clutching the sheet to her chest, dramatically stood up and marched up to Adagio, her breath a hot mix of insults and cusses from across the globe, “You’re really letting Aria be in charge, for realzies?!”

“FUCK YOU, RUNNING!” Aria shouted. “I’m killing all of you!” she said in a tone that struck like an arrow to the heart.
Sunset and Justice exchanged quick glances, like they just landed naked in the middle of a feud far older than the two of them.

Sonata gave Aria a genuinely hurt look. “Ari, I love you, but uh... Why do you want to run the band? We‘re doing great!” she snarled. “We’re doing shows again. I’ve scared the local 7-11 clerks into letting me drink al the Slurpee I want straight from the nozzle! We have an arsenal of ancient and terrifyingly not of this earth weapons! We could conquer North Korea!” Sonata blinked at Aria a few times. “We should conquer North Korea!”

Justice raised a hand, “I’ll make sure you get to lead all the fancy celebration parades afterwards if we just liberate North Korea!”

Sunset smacked a palm against her face, “I second that decision.”

Aria produced a smartphone and a dark-blue stylus, she began writing, “First stop of the ‘Aria and the Blaze-Itz!’ Kim Jong Un's house.”

Zer0

What if it all started here?

The Table that Actually Said "Get a grip and go to your room!"

Tapping her fingers against her forehead like she was trying to cure her headache with rolling lay on hands, Adagio Dazzle realized she needed to tell Sunset and Justice about the 'Don't eat each other out at the dinner table while we are also eating breakfast."

"You there!" Aria j'aqused at the green-haired, freckled woman feverishly masturbating to her best fuck buddies display of using each other's vags as cereal bowls, which was a mess roughly in the shape of a woman having the time of her life because Sunset was on top and loaded her vag with a tiny bit of every cereal in the house as Justice had only decided to fill zer vag with lucky charms. "Stop remembering SO FUCKING HARD that we have to clean the crazy technicolor mess of their cereal off the ANTIQUE, ORNATE AS OLD AS THE CONCEPT OF TABLES THAT THEY SHOW UP AGAIN! G-DAMN IT SUNSET AND JUSTICE, STOP TIME TELEPORTING INTO THE DINING ROOM TO FUCK IT OUT!"

Falling to the side on the, 'Wallflower is down!' collection of throw pillows and shouted. "Stop telling me I can't be here! I pay a sixth of the rent!"

Adagio sighed so hard her table rolled the impudent fucking fucks from the table into the surprised, and now covered with cereal Wallflower.

Over the sound of their hysterical laughter, Wallflower realized that Sunset and Justice had filled their vags with Chex mix with an extra helping of Worcestershire sauce from their tungsten vaginas because alicorn mages are just that ridiculously cheaty when a city they rescued does something as stupid as give them both literal "I can do whatever I want" cheques.
"Yay! Lunch!" Sonata Dusk screamed as dove onto the mass of chex bodies, in bewilderment at how much they loved Wallflower because they knew she often missed lunchtime.

"Stop fucking up my house!" Adagio Dazzle screamed. "I own the concept of money! That Table has a higher GDP than all of this planet and several other planets from nearby orbiting galaxies!"

In which dishes are discussed and Starlight is harased BUCK YOU, MR. AND-OR MISSUS AUTHOR!

"Seriously," Sunset said with narrowed eyes and unamused features. "The dishes. You had to get on our case about our dishes."

Sunburst sighed, "Okay, that was maybe a bit out of line."

"Sunburst, you don't even live with me and Justice!" Sunset said. "... I think..." she added, remembering Wallflower was a thing and also wondering if she sometimes confused looking at Sunburst for a glorious mirror that adds amazing wizard glasses and a goatee to her stunning visage."

"Could have added radiant, my love!" Justice cried from some other fanfic where he was engaged in a brutal war just to get some g-damn orange juice.

"Baby!" Sunset shouted back, "You don't need to remind me of your amazing cosmic love with every sentence!"

"Points are being made, my completely perfect golden ratio faced gnostic Goddess, with a capital G, of all that I will ever—"

"STOP IT, YOU TURBO MAGNIFICENT DOUCHETASTIC WRITER OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE SNAKE TALK!"

"Oh! Card six the lovers," said Cain from Sunset and Justice's fridge, noting what an absolute disaster he was and wondering if Kirkland had hurt him in a previous life due to the maple syrup glaze in the fridge."

Sunburst, having sneaked away, was now gone from this chapter! Yet still felt the urge to croon one more "Staaaaarlight!"

"SHUT UP, SUNBURST! I'M BUSY COLLECTING MAGICAL ARTIFACTS TO FIX REAL PROBLEMS!"

"Staaaaaaarlight!" Sunset and Justice and Vengence and Charlie Mange and Justice's sister Delialia and their brother Ciecel and the actual Carl crooned in a multiversal, multichapter act of supreme passive-aggressiveness. "Why are you so efficient at collecting artifacts!"

"And pretty!" Sunset said, beating about everyone in the chapter at launching a compliment."

Author's Note

In witch a bunch of mages, wizards, and magicians just eff around a bit.

Vengence Drives Near The End

"Sooo…" Sunset began awkwardly. "I think we need to spend a day apart. You know I love you to the actual heat death of the entire universe, but I need a day to like… remember what it's like to see a world that's not just your deep ocean blue eyes."

"Okay turquoise garden of my mind, heart, and soul. I think that's a great, but does your day apart from me have to involve my sister?" Justice added, his deep blue ocean eyes narrowed.

Already arm and arm with the aquamarine irised beauty, Sunset took a moment to nuzzle the glistening green blue hair of her husband's twin. "Would it help if I told you I'm not that ready to be apart from you?"

Vengeance chortled. "You know she lured me out here with a promise of Jamba Juice and a Belgian Waffle?"

Justice shot an accusatory finger at Sunset. "You treat my sister to a fancy Burger King (™) meal as well! You know she's worth it."

Sunset broke into hysterics. "Is Aria selling our time for product placement again? 'Cause I want to take her out to a Denny's now."

Vengeance blinked innocently. "Are you treating me to a Grand Slam? Or do I only get that if our journey through over-the-counter based culinary treats goes well?"

Justice smirked as he stifled a laugh. "Assuming she's found worthy of Diner chain food--"

Sunset, still ahold of Vengence, decided to exit, stage towards Vengence's car, shoting "I' treat her to brunch at a nice, restaurant, say Red Robbin, if all goes jusy according to Keikaku!"

"Translator note: Keikaku means plan!" Vengeance exclaimed. "Also, see you tomorrow bro! Love ya!"

"Love you, Justice!" Sunset exclaimed. "I'll bring her back in one piece!"

"Totally a not alarming thing to hear, Sunny-Bunny!" Replied Justice as he waved. "Love you! Love you too, Vengeance! I'll just be here, wailing in uncurable loneliness!" He punctuated this sentence with a booming "Noooooooooooooooo!" as he dropped to his knees and his sister's champaign silver car spead off. Both girls responding to his pain with manic smiles and middle fingers as their long hair billowed in the wind.

Sobbing in what could only possibly be considered a real way, he trudged back to the white door of his shared home with Sunset, now berief of joy or any reason to continue. Roaming the empty rooms he found a breakfast nook with a miniature copy of Stonehenge built out in cereal boxes with Sonata, Aria, and Adagio all sitting at it. Clearly having some wonderful cereal parry.

Right, right. I share a house with three, plus or minus a Walflower Blush, total knock-out beauties.

Sonata giggled as she poured herself a bowl of Lucky Charms (™) and a second bowl, pushing it through the center of Cereal Experiments Henge and to an empty seat at the hexagonal table. "What the fluff was that about? I'd ask if Sunset dumped you, but she packed a day bag and most her stuff is still here."

Justice sat down at the table, noting the curious glance on an otherwise chill expression from Aria and two sets of bleary bright mullbery wine colored eyes partially obscured by golden yellow curls roughly pointed in his direction

He poured milk from a red carton into his bowl. "Alright, so--"

< To Be Continued ///

(Roundabout by Yes starts to play)

Good for $15 with a purchase of $30

“Listen!” Rainbow Dash screamed across the counter, the poor cashier glancing with hazel eyes as the display of fake oranges behind them as if they could perhaps hide amongst the fake citrus. “This is worth double the amount of my smoothie!” she said, waving around a cardboard HOT TOPIC CASH card.

“I WILL PAY YOU IN $30 HOT TOPIC CASH IF YOU CAN JUST GET ME A FREAKIN’ SMOOTHIE!” Rainbow Dash shouted at confused cashier working the register of the Jamba Juice, their hazel eyes practically screaming ‘Help me!’ as the small young adult offered up a two bills worth $30 in Hot Topic (™)merch provided $60 total was spent.

“Rainbow, just let me pay,” Sunset insisted.

“Oh, I got this!” Charolotte exclaimed as she dropped a crisp fifty-dollar bill on the counter.

Rainbow Dash sighed dramatically and cried “Fiiiiiine!” as she dramatically placed her HOT TOPIC CASH card in her bag full of quality t-shirts, presumably from bands she liked, or maybe she was a closet Otaku.

Charolotte looked up at the paragraph above this one. “I dunno! She could have got some Harry Potter merch! I mean, she might have a hidden Gryffindor closet!”

Sunset sighed as she attempted to ignore the catastrophic destruction of the fourth wall.

“I… sush you!” Rainbow Dash cried.

Charolotte accepted her cash change and turned to Rainbow Dash as if ‘Sush you’ was a second name.

~o o o~ I heard a wrecking ball and a wall be completely opsee-not-a-thingied. Am I in this scene?

{69} I uh… Sunset, this is meta you, just uh… Just pocket your insane wad of free table money and we’ll continue this scene as if nothing is a miss. Pinkie, let’s head out and not into the story through the kool-aid man-sized whole Charolotte made.

~o o o~ Okie-Doki-Loki!

({▨}) Wait, am I this scene?

“Is everyone having fun out there?” Charolotte called into the chasm of fun, sun, and trickery. “Because I sure the flip am!”

~o o o~ Oooo! Ooooh! I’m fun, Loki is sun, and Sunset is trickery, right?

{69} HA! Pinkie said that thing above this line! Goodbye suckers!

~o o o~ Goodbye, Sunset! Welp! I’m off to class. See you, uh… there? Maybe?

({▨})Honestly, I’m not quite sure if I’m a student or a teacher. For all I know it doesn’t matter, but sure! I’ll show up to Canterlot University or whatever it’s called.

“So…” Rainbow Dash hooked a thumb at whatever all the that was, “do we ignore when that happens, do we incorporate it into… You know what, as long as I get my Matcha Dream, I don’t really give a fuck.”

~~ Alright, we’re done with the wall breakage, I think… Oh, Sunset, bring me back a Caribbean Passion when… Oh wait you’re out for the day, at least.

“Shut up, Just!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “You’re not even supposed to be in this chapter!”

~/~ Shut up, Dashie, oh lovely Cloud Maiden of the Glorious Rainbow Strands!

“Okay, why can’t Charollote in the scene be that flirty with me?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’m keeping abreast of the smoothie sitch!” Charolotte insisted.

The increasingly desperate-looking Jamba Juice employee who wasn’t sure how to clean up an entire dimensional break in reality swallowed. “So, uh… Should I ring up a Caribbean Passion, or…?”

~~ I kinda messed up my perspective, so unless I show up in this reality proper, which I will–

“Oh, he totally will,” Sunset confirmed.

– “Thanks, bae-bee! Uh, yeah, no need to get me that smoothie at this particular juncture.

“Uh, alright,” said the still-unnamed Jamba Juice employee. Fuck it, let’s call him Jeff. “Does your leaning center thing mean something different from, er… Charlotte’s or…?”

~~ Look, mine leans left, sis’s leans right, that means I’m a manic that shouldn’t be listened to ever and sis should always be listened to.

~/~ Yes, listen to my brother on this one.

Jeff sighed heavily as his shoulders slumped, “I really need paid time off…”

“And I needed a job that could cover my needs!” Rainbow Dash said as she shook her Hot Topic Bag, which was rich with wonderfully trendy clothes and accessories. “We’re my caffeine fix?!”

Charolotte smiled at her meta brother and meta self. “Alright, feeling a little crowded with another me here!” she lied lyingly. “Could my lover, my fake-secret wife, and I get our smoothies?”

~/~ To be clear the ‘secret’ part is fake, not the wife part.

“Uh, alright, there are other employees here, but…”

~~ Our bad, we need to concentrate on writing more descriptive scenes.

~/~ Right, right, we’re trying this more minimalist approach to writing, you see, so–

“Alright, uh… everyone in meta land. We’ll see you all later!,” Sunset said, clearly just trying to get the scene moving and get her frickin’, I need the sugar and delicious taste of Aloha Pineapple.

“Flip!” Charolotte cried. “There’s a whole bunch of chapter we kind of ran rackshire on! If only there was a way to reset and

< To Be Continued ///

(Roundabout by Yes starts to play)

Author's Note

▨_▨¬ Seriously, dudes. Do you have, like… a billion sponsors for this fic, or what?

---==(((}(}{) I don’t know. They’re just naming off the places in America, like… what are they supposed to do? Call it ‘Smoothie Zone’ and ‘Hip, counter-culture band zone?’

▨_▨¬ That’s a good point! Let’s all head down to the place that holds a bunch of stores and sells clothes and stuff.

---==(((}(}{) Oh, excellent idea! We can hit Pretzel Kiosk and snag ourselves some fresh gear at Hip counter-culture band zone!

▨_▨¬ Fuck yeah! I hope they have the latest weeb merch in stock.

---==(((}(}{) I think they’d be firebombed by the local otaku if they didn’t

▨_▨¬ Buncha nerds just showing up with metal protecting their foreheads making hand signs before they lob burning bottles of Suntory.

~~ No! The Generic Store Building!

~/~ Where will we purchase our no-brand items now?!

{69} Happy Fucking Christmas to all and to all a GET A BAT!

Art by MinusClass.

Today's random conversation is brought to you by Dresden Files: Summer Knight

"Do you think Harry gets magical snow powers if he pulls this off… this being whatever Mab is asking him to kill." Justice possed, glancing at Sunset's baby blues as delight spread across her face.

"Hah! Maybe if he wasn't so rude to her!" Sunset replied.

"Well, he's negotiated to freedom and not being eaten."

"An improvement!" Sunset said with a smirking smile.

"I HAVE AN IDEA!"

"I'll shoot the Queen of Winter!"

Justice's eyes widened with machievious giddy, "My car is a freezing death trap in the winter anyways!"

"Let it goooooo! Let it goooooo! Let me pull the trigger and so "no" to snow!"

"And now sleds are only useful as death shields."

Laughter poured from the driver seat, "Okay, so let's invest in the new, best weapon on the eternal Summapocolypse."

"Shoot, did Harry go 'I got to cover this up!' And John Wick most the cast of a Midsummer Night's Dream?" Justice inquired.

"Honey! I'm trying to drive straight! Oh damn--"

"Why would anyone let you drive if they wanted the car to drive strait?"

"--it! Okay, will Bi-sex-a-horse keep the car from crashing? Who knows!" Sunset took her palms off the wheel by an inch and jazz hands for effect.

"Certainly not the Spring Court. Shit! Safe following distance, Sunny!"

Accepting mania as a way to deal with the situation and accepting a honk from the front and a middle finger. "They didn't know what hit them?"

"Honesty, if anyone was going to hit them it'd be Mr. Files."

Sunset laughed and pointed to a Starbucks, meaning it was Justice's time to drive.

Sunset quickly parked the car and she and Justice quickly grabbed their McDonald's beverages and exchanged cheek kisses and a bunny kiss before sitting down and buckling up.

Justice undid the parking brake, put the car in drive and got the midnight blue SUV back on the tree lined street.

"Doesn't he have Skully and Mulder to help?" Sunset asked.

Justice started hyperventilating. "And a T-1000"

"How much iron is in that?" Sunset poses, eyes wide.

"Why it's got to have some, you know--"

"Shapechanger war!"

"-- I was just about to say that!"

"But who has the Star Iron?"

"Mab!" Justice suggested. "I mean, global warming…"

"Fuck!" Sunset frowned at her straw. "Couldn't we pack our own straws?"

"Sure babe," Justice answered with a 'shit, why didn't I think of that?' frown. "Uh, better write a note. I forget things, ya know?"

Smiling like a young woman about to open a tangerine after a long day, Sunset manifested her phone as if it were an extension of herself and typed a note to herself. "Aaaand share!"

'Cheeaam!'

"Thank-you!" Justice said as his phone chimed.

"Okay, so… where does John Conner fit into all of this?"

Justice whistled. "We better ask someone to send a T-800 that teaches the value of respecting the environment."

Sunset began frantically typing on her phone. "On it."

Aria and Justice work a roadstop or For Fuck's sake, when are they going to post a chapter at the University?

"Okay, but how chill is it to show up with a trench full of lightsabers." Aria said smiling, she took a sip from her 'Looks Like I'm The Only One With The Antidote.' mug. "It's like fuckin' Keanu but, like, with enough fucking laser swords to annihilate all the doors in between the only fancy tea set on the command ship."

Justice broke into a laughing fit and handed Aria his navy blue mug with the light blue circuit board matching Aria's completely. "Bae, I might die, but I'll live knowing that at least the Tea set surv...FUCK! Anakin Skywalker blew it up!"

"Fuuuuuuuck!" Aria quickly refilled Justice and her mug with hot cocoa that filled the room they were in with coffee, chocolate, cream, and the acrid smell of alcohol. "The poor set will never make it back to Neimodia!"

"G-damn! The other Tea sets will need to have a funeral."

"Dude, with a fake casket for it!

"One for each cup… let's see… saucers should be buried with their mates. The cream pitcher, the sugar uh… pot…"

Aria snickered and swatted Justice's arm. "It's called a sugar bowl, dude."

"Well, that'll be useful information for when I carve the headstones with my toolbox of lightsabers."

"Fuck, all Dark Forces 2 style. You can make huge-ass monuments!"

"I mean… it is the Viceroy's tea set."

"Shit, it's probably worth more than, I dunno, Dagoba."

"Hah! Dagoba is the planet you PAY people to take from you once you've fucked up what to ransom."

"Hahahahaha, eff you for being that funny!"

Justice looked up at chrome, digital clock on the wall "We might have enough time before Sunny shows up to see if that bed can squeak the Huttese alphabet."

Aria threw her head up and laughed.

"I'll scream in Wookiese, uh, if you're up for it, maybe you can moan in Twi'lek."

Potential mascot

“Look, we neeeed Justice in the Dazzlings!” Sonata declared indignantly.

Sunset’s eyes swung back and forth like a pendulum. “Firstly, I’m not sure like you’re asking permission like I own him.”

The trio of Dazzlings all exchanged glances. “We’re just going to ignore that one.” Said Adagio.

Justice opened his mouth to speak.

“Just a second, hun,” Sonata said. “We’re deciding your fate without your consent.”

Justice snorted a giggle.

Sunset glanced at her husband then leaned closer to Adagio. "Like, as a mascot?” she whispered.

Adagio smirked.

“We need a soprano,” Aria declared, indigo eyes blazing.

Justice's sapphire blue eyes lit up like Christmas lights. “Also, can I be team mascot?”

Giggling, Sunset entombed her forehead with her palms.

Adagio leaned down and enclosed Justice’s head in her hands. With a grin she said, “No.”

Secret Service Industry Lover

“That’ll be $5.55,” Applejack said with a terse smile as she held out her hand.

Leaning past Sunset Shimmer’s lopsided grin, Justice smiled like a loaded cannon. “Why hello secret service industry lover.” Adding with a Gomez Adam’s grin, “Thank you for the post-coitus goodies.”

“Buck you!” Applejack laughed out loud as Sunset Shimmer handed her a debit card with a wink.

“I had sex with The Element of Honesty!” Justice swooned. Leaning back into the leather seat of his and Sunset’s Midnight blue Rouge Nissan.

Applejack smacked a palm on her head, “Oh, G-damn you!” she shouted with a smile.

“Did you like it?” Sunset asked her lopsided grin tilting.

Throwing a bag into Sunset’s smug, prick-ass face, Applejack answered. “Ya, know? Maybe not,”

“Did you love it?” Justice asked with a seductive wink.

“Alright, you burger sluts!” Applejack screamed. “Maybe I did!”

“Hah! Maybe, she says!” Sunset replied with an eye roll that tilted the planet on its X and Y-axis.

Find herself hilariously diagonal Applejack leaned forward. “Look, you two weren't at your best.”

“Booooo, hiss! Booooo, hiss!” Came the answer from the car from both occupants. Sunset
Grinned widely. “Our sexual prowess conquers all with complete satisfaction.!” Sunset screamed.

“We’re curing the world of it’s frustrations!” Justice added.

“No one left suffering from lonely nights.”

“Prepare your body ow and turn off the lights.”

Sunset leaned forward. “I will make out with you right here if you play your cards right!”

“I NEED YOU BOOTH TO SHUT THE ACTUAL HELL UP BECAUSE I NEED MY LUNGS!” Applejack laughed hysterically.

“Give us our drinks, secret service industry lover!” Justice hollered.

“We need the sugar for our busy day of slutting it up!”

“Shuuuuut up!” screamed the local bigfoot representative from his silver Ford Taurus behind them, ‘cause buck it, why the eff not? Hey adjusted his bifocals.. “Bigfoot has a car full of fairies and an impetus to stick his entire foot up your asses!”

Applejack smacked both her palms into her face as Sunset and Justice played a quick game of rock paper scissors. Winning with Scissors. Sunset leaned her head outside the window and yelled back. “And a mighty fine go fuck yourself to you too!”

“Hooooooo damn!” Replied the irate yeti. “So this is what I get for teaching you ignorant sluts about nature and magic!”

Justice leaned his head out the other window. “Yay! Free knowledge!”

“Seriously! I will start growing trees at you!”

Bench might be on campus!

"And then she punched me!" Flash exclaimed while holding an ice pack to his cheek.

"Well," Dearest Heart began with a shrug, her hair sparkling with other worldly energy into a pure yellow blitz of energy Newton-neon with storming anticipation. "She probably wasn't ready for how much I needed to get your side if the story… so… Uh, Flash, you thinking eating leftover Chinese food isn't lunch…" D.H.s eyes widened. "What is lunch to you? Like…" She twisted her hair in a gray finger "Does food need to be fresh?" She asked. She scouched up to Flash Sentry on the park bench they shared and grasped his knuckles. "I could make you muffins."

"I uh..Uh… okay… I uh..Uh… could we frive to… I'm poor." Flash admitted.

D.H. paused, blushed, and let out a laugh. She undid her top three buttons of her blouse and exposed her cleavage and sky-blue bra with lacey frills. "I'm giving you a boob job, making you dinner, sex, second boob job, sleep, sex, breakfast, then we can figure out why Sunset slugged your smoochable face."

Flash tried to remove the ice pack, but cut lips and a swollen cheek ached as the numbness fled.

D. H. swatted at Flashes nose with an index finger the leaned in four a quick kiss. "Okay, well. I'll follow you back to my place and we can get started."

Flash hopped to his feat. "I forgot how dinner at someone's house worked. " he admitted.

Dearest Heart laughed and swatted her bangs out of her eyes. "No worries." She grabbed Flash by the leather jacket. "Seriously, though! Make sure I'm behind you otherwise I'll get lost!"

"Yeah, yesh," Flash said, brushing a finger up D.H.s erect tip as he locked tourmaline eyes with D. H.s writes of pure lightening. "MY license plate is…"

She pit an index finger to Flash's lips. "I remember, and if I forget I'll call Wallflower."