Captain Goodking RETOLD!

by Leondude

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, My Little Pony: The Movie, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony Comic, Princess Luna, Storm King, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 4535

The first three Captain Goodking stories rewritten and wrapped up in one neat little package.

To celebrate the two year anniversary of A series of unfortunate events that leads to another redeemed villain, yay!, I have decided to use what knowledge and writing skills I learned since then to retell the first three stories of the Captain Goodking saga. Essentially, pulling a George Lucas and doing a rerelease. Speaking of George Lucas, I have decided to separate this story into episodes:

Episode Storm King: The tale that started it all, now bigger, longer, and wackier! Resurrected by Discord under Celestia's orders, the Storm King (or, as I like to call him, Stormy) has been given a second chance the same way Discord had a second chance. Will he use this second chance to mend his ways or will he use it to wreak havoc upon Equestria once more? In case it isn't obvious, he turns good in the end.

Episode Sacanas: The tragedy of Sacanas, now being told once more but with more complexity, more craziness, and more (Jim) Carrey goodness. Ooh, somepony stop me! And yes, this is the same Sacanas that made the Staff of Sacanas, in case it wasn't obvious.

Episode Nightmare Knights: When the evil Sacanas had returned to enact his vengeance upon Equestria, as well as using an alien invasion to divert our usual heroes, it is up to Luna to regroup the Nightmare Knights once more. And joining this ragtag group of former ne'er do wells is Stormy, now going by the name of Captain Goodking. Again, in case it wasn't obvious.

Published 2021-01-13 22:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-11 00:44:34 UTC

Episode Storm King - Prologue

It was another day in Equestria, except not really because it had been taken over by a big powerful bad guy called the Storm King. The Storm King was a tyrant far more menacing than King Sombra and even Discord during his heyday, a monster that enslaved the inhabitants of the lands he conquered and forced them to work in sweatshops to produce Storm-King brand merchandise en masse. Nopony really knew where this dangerous foe came from, and the Storm King himself didn't know either. Sometimes, he remembered it one way, sometimes another. Either way, if he was going to have a past, he preferred it to be multiple choice.

The Storm King sat at his silver throne with navy-blue cushions in one of his airships, with one of his brutish guards by his side, and looked at the parchment detailing the finances of his latest conquest, trying to figure out how to cut corners.

"Do you think I should cancel the pizza party?" Storm King asked the guard.

The guard growled angrily in response.

"Okay, okay, we'll keep the pizza party on!" Storm King said as he defensively raised his hands in the air, "Jeez, no need to rip my head off!"

After that little altercation, The Storm King heard a familiar ringing sound. It was the sound of the Magic SkypeTM. And yes, he did call it the Magic SkypeTM. Storm King walked over to the Magic SkypeTM to answer it. The person, or rather pony, calling him was none other than Tempest Shadow.

"Your excellency," Tempest said over the Magic SkypeTM.

"Hey, Tempest. Long time, no see. Has it been three days already?" Storm King asked.

"Not exactly but I would like to inform you I now have all four rulers of this land at your disposal," Tempest replied.

"And I need those to make this twig work, right?" Storm King asked as he grabbed the Staff of Sacanas from the side of his throne.

"Yes," Tempest bluntly replied.

"Good!" Stormy said happily, "I was just about to make my way over to the castle to do a bit of redecorating. You know, make it a bit more...well...me. Unless you and the guys already did that when you invaded and enslaved all the cute ponies and all that jazz."

The call disconnected in the middle of what the Storm King was saying.

"I hate when it does that," Storm King quickly muttered to himself, "Oh well, time to put the pedal to the metal!"

The Storm King jumped up and held the Staff of Sacanas like it was a guitar.

"Full throttle, men!" Storm King bellowed as he pretended to do a guitar solo with the staff, "There's a storm coming and that storm is me! Ooh, that's good I should trademark that. Jerry, remind me to trademark what I just said."

The guard pulled out a notepad and wrote down the latest catchphrase to add in the Storm King talking dolls.

After brewing the storm of a lifetime, the Storm King marvelled at the pure unadulterated mayhem he had created with his staff. It made him feel like he was above the gods. And given how the princesses were rumoured to have the power of gods upon Equus, the feeling wasn't that far off.

"Now I truly am the Storm King!" the Storm King loudly announced, "And the entire world shall bow to my ba-ba-boom, baby!"

As the Storm King continued revelling in his power, his mood was killed by the arrival of Tempest.

"Yes, yes, you are every bit as powerful as I promised, sire," Tempest said to her king, "Now, restore my horn. And I swear to use my magic to serve you."

The Storm King laughed at the notion of him actually giving his word, as well as doing so to a weakling like Tempest.

"Who cares about your dinky little unicorn horn?!" Storm King mockingly asked as he pushed Tempest to the wayside.

"But we had an agreement!" Tempest exclaimed.

"Get with the program!" Storm King growled, "I used you! It's kinda what I do."

Deciding that Tempest had outlived her usefulness, Storm King decided to finish her off. While he could have held up his end of the deal for the sake of pragmatism, he didn't even know how to restore Tempest's horn, even with the staff. After a few dodges, Tempest managed to block one of the Storm King's attacks, sending him flying into a wall.

"Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark," Storm King said to himself as he got up.

In the distance, he saw the Princess of Friendship trying to save Tempest. Finding the notion of someone saving someone else to be hilarious, especially since that someone else committed mass treason, Storm King decided to destroy them both. But before he could do so, he was hit by a bunch of other ponies, sending him flying into what's left of the castle walls.

"Okay, now that's gonna leave a mark!" The Storm King said to himself as he climbed through some rubble, "Hey, where's my sta..."

But before he can finish his thought, he noticed the Staff of Sacanas sticking out of a window, and those pesky little ponies are about to grab it!

"The staff belongs to me," he growled climbed as he crawled closer to the staff while the ponies desperately tried to reach for it. While the princess could have easily used her magic or something to telekinetically pull it out, that wasn't really an option given the circumstances.

"No! That's my staff!" he shouted, hoping the cute little ponies would hear him and...well...keep away from his staff, "Mine!"

But before he could grab it, the window broke, sending him into that beautiful storm that he created.

"I think I'm gonna be siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!" he yelled as he spun around in the vortex, trying to keep his lunch down.

When he grabbed onto the edge of the castle, he gave up on keeping his lunch down and gave it to one of his underlings. Down his back and all over his fur to be precise. The underling looked up at his master, who was already in a bad mood.

"What are you looking at?!" Storm King yelled angrily.

After he had done more frustrating climbing, he looked at the ponies and decided he was extremely over with the cute pony thing! As he grabbed an Obsidian Orb from....you don't want to know that part, he slowly and sinisterly aimed the Orb at those meddling ponies, desperately trying not to give an evil cackle while he was at it. But when he threw it, that unicorn with the broken horn got in the way, much to his dismay.

"Oh, you..." Storm King said as he slowly became petrified.

The Storm King fell to a clumsy, painful death. And a smashing one at that too.

Author's Note

While the second part of this chapter is a retelling of what happened in the movie, I'd to point out there are some differences between this and what happened in the actual movie.

Then again, this is a universe where the Storm King redeemed himself so liberties are allowed to be taken. :twilightsmile:

Episode Storm King - Chapter 1

It was another lovely day in Chaosville. You know, if an eldritch location filled with incomprehensible nonsense could be considered 'lovely'. Discord was busy in his house untidying the place. He recently acquired a vacuum cleaner that made the floor even dustier rather than cleaner. When the vacuum blasted a cloud of dust in his face, he covered his eyes and coughed like he had been used as living chimney sweep. And given his slender body, it wouldn't be out of the question to say he had actually been used as a chimney sweep at least once in his life. He heard a ring at the doorbell.

"Who could that be?" Discord asked himself.

"Why don't you go answer it?" Another Discord that came down from the ceiling said.

Discord snapped his fingers to make the other him disappear. He opened the door and was greeted to the sight of one Princess Luna.

"Ah, Luna," Discord said while giving a bow, "So, what do I owe the royal pleasure?"

"Celestia has tasked you with bringing the Storm King back to life," Luna replied.

Discord's eyes widen in surprised and he shot back up, "Pardon?"

"That was my exact reaction when she told me the same thing," Luna replied, "Apparently, she thinks he could be of use to us."

"The Storm King?" Discord asked as he tried to comprehend Celestia's decision, "As in the same Storm King that nearly sucked up all of Equestria in a big tornado?"

"The very same, apparently," Luna replied "Speaking of which, where were you when the Storm King attacked us?"

"I was busy!" Discord replied defensively.

"Doing?" Luna raised an eyebrow.

Discord showed Luna the inside of his house, which was now covered in dust, bread crumbs, and chocolate stains.

"Equestria was in danger and you were busy spring cleaning?!" Luna asked in disbelief.

"Actually, I was spring dirtying," Discord corrected her, "Got to make my humble abode as disorganized as possible, you know."

"Why am not surprised?" Luna deadpanned, "So, when would be a good time for you to resurrect a well-known tyrant?"

It was night-time within the Everfree Forest, the perfect time and the perfect place to do a bit of necromancy. Luna and Discord entered the Everfree Forest with a bag full of what appears to be the shattered parts of the Storm King, whose head was frozen in fear.

"How did Celestia know I used to be a necromancer?" Discord asked.

"I haven't the slightest clue," Luna replied, "But given your ability to rip the fabric of reality at will, it would be easy to assume that includes bringing individuals back from the dead."

Discord shrugged, "Fair enough. Now that makes me wonder why Cay-Cay, that's what I call Celestia by the way, would go to all this trouble when she could easily ask me to deal with whatever's threatening Equestria at the moment. My magic is natural while the Storm King needed that stupid staff."

Luna glared at Discord, "Need I remind you that you prioritized making your own house a mess over saving Equestria?"

"And need I remind you that I saved all of Equestria after you and your sister got kidnapped by changelings," Discord pointed out.

"In our defence," Luna said, "I was asleep at the time and Celestia regularly held back against her enemies due to a pathological feeling that she lives in a world of cardboard. Very flammable cardboard. In any other circumstance, we would have defeated the changelings ourselves."

Discord chuckled, "Well, that explains why she has a bigger Machiavellian streak than I do."

After much travelling, Discord stopped and carved a rune into the ground, "You know, I once used this type of magic to make a group of skeletons to a little jig. Better than zombies doing it, I promise you that."

Luna gave an odd look at Discord, "Don't you think it's a bit disrespectful to defile the departed like that?"

"Not really," Discord replied, "They were glad to be alive for just one night. Besides, it was better than what you did on your first Nightmare Night."

Luna sighed as she put her hoof to her forehead, "Don't remind me."

Discord dispersed the pieces of the Storm King and stretched out his arms. He chanted in the old Equestrian tongue as the Storm King's remains were surrounded by arcane energy. The remains floated in the air as Discord's chanting grew louder. And in a flash of light, the remains stuck together and transformed into a familiar foe. Storm King landed onto the floor. And since he was very unhappy at the moment, he decided to finish what he started. And by that, I mean finish the last sentence he ever spoke before his death.

"You-"

Author's Note

I missed writing interactions between Luna and Discord.

Do you know how long it's been since I last wrote a scene with them two together? Round about 11 months, which is one month away from being a year!

Episode Storm King - Chapter 2

Discord and Luna listened to Storm King yell a variety of profanities at them, to which Discord snapped his fingers to turn the Storm King's mouth into a zipper. Even with his lips literally zipped, the Storm King was still loudly uttering profanities. Only difference being that all the naughty language had been muffled.

"What's the magic word?" Discord asked cheekily as he listened to The Storm King's muffled grunts and yells, "Nope, that's not it."

More muffled yells.

"Wrong again."

Even more muffled yells.

"Did you kiss your mother with that mouth before I turned it into a zip?"

A muffled yell that somehow sounded like 'please get this zip offa me, you loon!'.

"Ah, there you go."

Discord snapped his fingers to turn Storm King's mouth back to normal. Storm King gasped for air, relieved he had a mouth again. He looked at the individuals before him, one of which he recognized.

"Hey, I know you," he said as he pointed to Luna "You're one of those Uni-pega-coni-cusses or whatever you call yourselves."

"Alicorn," Luna stated bluntly.

Storm King looked at Discord, "And what the Tartarus are you supposed to be?"

"I am what you call a draconequus," Discord replied, "Head of a pony, body made up of all sorts of parts. I live in a place called Chaosville."

"Yeah, I've been to that place," Storm King said casually, "You guys really need a map. Lost a lot of good men that day, and I mean literally lost them because they floated away who knows where."

"Was it before or after I reformed myself?" Discord asked.

"Wow!" Storm King said in surprise, "If you reformed yourself, then you're gonna need to start over because, man, you are mismatched! Haha!"

Annoyed at the Storm King's insult, Discord snapped his fingers to turn him into a chicken.

"Cluck Cluck Pukaaak!" Storm King clucked angrily, demanding Discord turn him back to normal.

Discord complied with the demands and was horrified by what he had done next.

"Wonderful weather we're having," Storm King said in a tone that felt off.

Realizing he went too far that time, Discord snapped his fingers once more to turn Storm King back.

"Ah, that's better," Storm King said, "Soooo, what exactly am I doing here, anyway?"

Discord cleared his throat, "After a prejudiced pile of manure named Chancellor Neighsay lightened up on our little school, and after a very quick trial that had a pegasus filly thrown into Tartarus, Celestia came to Lulu and I specifically to, how she said, give you a second chance."

"Wait, did you say you threw a pegasus filly into Tartarus?" Storm King asked since that was the only detail he took in.

"It makes sense in context," Luna deadpanned.

"Yikes. And I thought I was bad," Storm King said before shrugging, "But I enslaved ponies of all ages so what do I know? Anyway, what makes your little ray of sunshine think that I'm gonna use this second chance to change my ways?"

"Let's see," Discord said as he held out his hand and counted the fingers "Luna changed her ways, I changed my ways, King Sombra changed his ways, though I don't think that one counts because it happened in the comics...Starlight Glimmer changed her ways, Stygian changed his ways, even the changelings changed their ways. And that last one was surprising because I'm the Spirit of Chaos and formerly Disharmony and I would never imagine the changelings...well...changing their ways."

"In spite of the fact that they are called 'changelings'?" Luna asked.

"The reason they are called that is because they can do this," Discord replied as he engaged in some SpongeBob-esque shapeshifting.

"Excuse me," Discord said as he looked directly at the author of this fic, "But do I look like I live in a pineapple under the sea?"

"Uh, who are you talking to?" Storm King asked Discord.

"Apparently, he has the same imaginary friends as Pinkie Pie," Luna deadpanned.

"Oookay?" Storm King said as he quickly turned around, "Well, it's been great but I got an empire to rebuild so..."

Luna stood in Storm King's way, "We are not going to let you walk away so easily."

"Or what?" Storm King asked mockingly, "You're gonna destroy me?"

"No, but I'm certain Discord can use a method of persuasion," Luna replied as she pointed to the draconequus holding the author by his underpants.

Discord gasped in faux-shock, "Luna! I'm shocked that you would think I'd use magic like that, even it's for a good reason. I'm not Starlight Glimmer!"

The author laughed hard at that crack at discount Twilight, I mean Starlight Glimmer. Then, without warning, Discord slugged the author in the face, knocking him out cold. Wait, what?!

BAM!

After the author got his butt handed to him by the greatest draconequus that ever lived, I..I mean Discord showed a demonstration as to why allowing him to dominate people's minds is a bad idea.

"You are going to stick your hoof up your nose and eat your greens," Discord said as he waved his hand before snapping his fingers. As he did so, Lulu's eyes shrank and her jaw dropped slightly.

"I will stick my hoof up my nose and eat my-" Luna said monotonously before snapping out of it and giving Discord a glare, "Don't do that."

After that little debacle, Discord turned around and continued talking to Stormy (that's right, I'm calling him Stormy because it would take forever if I kept typing "The Storm King" every time he makes an appearance).

"As I was saying," Discord said, "You need to take a Redemption Class taught by yours truly until we decide you're a valuable member of society."

Stormy gawked at Discord, "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," Discord replied as he shook his head, "Due to the influx of ne'er do wells that want to do well, we decided to enrol them in a specific class so they can learn the power of friendship and be good people."

Stormy sighed, "Alright, I'll take your little 'Redemption Class'.But only because I don't want to be hypnotized into eating my own boogers!"

Discord had no idea Stormy was so subconsciously willing to dig for green liquid gold. And if he was, he would have had him repeatedly punch himself in an area that one can't say in an E-rated fanfic. And so the trio headed off to the School of Friendship so Stormy can learn a thing or two about mhtrrrrrrrrrrrrrefsrdegv rgr..........

Author's Note

Word of advice, Discord: Never mess with a carpenter or a guy that looks like a carpenter (the latter in my case)

Hmm...Stormy...I like the sound of that. Let me get you a First Aid Kit and a bag of ice to make up for slamming your head onto my keyboard. And besides, what's he got against people who eat their own boogers?! I know it's disgusting but I sometimes eat my own boogers so shut up!

PS: I did not mean for my carpenter comment to be blasphemous.

Episode Storm King - Chapter 3

In a dark abandoned alleyway, a lone pony trotted to his home. It was a unicorn stallion levitating a paper bag full of groceries. The stone pavement felt cold and the houses looked dilapidated, with broken windows and rotted away wooden doors. It was also foggy in the alleyway, which was weird because there was no sign of fog being in the weather report today. The unicorn felt a chill up his spine, uncomfortable with trotting down this alleyway. He could have taken any other route but this was the quickest way to his home. Not only that but the alleyway wasn't always this run down. Suddenly, there was the sound of stone impacting stone, startling the unicorn.

"Hello?" the unicorn said "Is anypony there?"

There was no answer. The pony continued trotting away until he encountered a being clad in a torn-up black cloak and hood, the cloak obscuring the being's features. The individual standing before the unicorn was roughly an inch taller and appeared to be hunched in a position that looked almost primal.

"Uh...can I help you?" the unicorn asked the creature before him.

The creature said nothing. Without warning, it grabbed onto the unicorn's throat with its reptilian claw and brought the unicorn closer to it. The creature snarled at the horrified pony in its grasp as it glared with its glowing emerald eyes. Along with having a clear view of the creature's eyes, the unicorn saw rows of pearly white daggers as it formed a menacing smile. As the creature's grip on the unicorn grew tighter, the unicorn felt his magic leave his entire body as if it was being sucked up by a big black hole. The unicorn also felt colder. Weaker. He wanted to scream but he was too paralyzed with fear to do so. He felt a sharp freezing pain travel up his hooves all the way to his chest. Soon enough, everything faded to black. And in the unicorn's place was a statue of the frightened unicorn. Feeling the magic coursing through its veins, the creature crushed the petrified unicorn's neck into dust as his head fell onto the floor, cracking like an egg made of drywall. Its work done here, the creature trailed off out of the alleyway.

Stormy walked up to the School of Friendship, ready (albeit unwillingly) to start becoming a good guy. He huffed and grumbled as he entered the school. The inside of the school had a violet colour to it and there were rows of columns down the corridor. Not only were there ponies trotting about, but there were also hippogriffs, griffins, yaks, dragons and even changelings.

"Oh, boy," Stormy muttered to himself, "If I encounter an Abyssinian in here, I'm dead."

Stormy carefully walked down the corridor in search of the Redemption Class, hoping none of the students recognize him as the tyrant who probably conquered their homes at least once. He looked at a wooden sign in the shape of an arrow, with the words 'Redemption Class' crudely scribbled on, pointing at a door.

"This looks promising," Stormy said to himself.

Stormy opened the door and, sitting at the desks were a familiar pair. A broken-horned unicorn and a grey hedgehog looking guy. Stormy sat in front of Tempest, trying his best not to acknowledge her.

"Storm King," Tempest said with disdain.

"Tempest," Stormy said with the same tone.

"I'm surprised they would offer you a second chance," Tempest said to her former boss.

"I'm surprised you're in this class too," Stormy retorted, "I thought you'd be buddies with the other ponies by now."

Tempest nudged her head at Grubber, who was busy eating a cake that said 'Welcome to being good'.

"Grubber talked me into it," Tempest said bluntly.

"And I just came here for the cake," Grubber said.

Eventually, a familiar draconequus entered the room wearing a black wig and a cloak to match.

"There will be no wand-waving and silly incantations in this classroom," Discord said in a voice that can be easily impersonated by the author of this fic and Benedict Cumberbatch, "I am Professor Disnape, I mean Discord, and I will be teaching you how to be good guys."

Grubber held his hand up in the air, "Ooh, ooh, ooh! Do we get to play the saxophone?"

"No, that is for when you are being taught how to be villains," Discord replied, "Which will not happen because you are here to be good guys."

Grubber put his hand down in disappointment, "Aw."

Five hours of being explained the basics of being a good guy later, much to the boredom of Tempest, Discord clipped some tickle belts onto Grubber and Stormy as they were sleeping and snoring loudly. He teleported everybody out of the classroom and into a field and, in order to wake Grubber and Stormy up, summoned a pair of symbols, crashing them together loudly.

"Where's the sponge-cake?!" Grubby exclaimed as he woke up, startled by the sudden awakening.

"Goodness lesson #1," Discord said, "You see someone drop their.....wallet, what....do you....do?"

Discord placed a wallet in Grubber's hand, "Drop the wallet."

Grubber complied and Discord looked at Stormy, expecting him to pick up the wallet. He looked at the wallet then at Stormy and rinsed and repeated until Stormy got the message. Stormy bent down and, reluctantly, picked up the wallet and handed it over to Grubber.

"You dropped your wallet," Stormy said in the most bored tone possible.

Discord, being the mischievous scamp that he is, snapped his fingers to turn Grubber's wallet into a different wallet.

"Uh...your former majesty?" Grubber said, "That's not my wallet."

"What?!" Stormy shouted, "But I just saw you drop it!"

"Yeah, but it's not mine," Grubber said as he pointed at the completely different wallet.

"What are you saying, that you just picked up a random wallet and decided to throw it on the floor for no reason?!" Stormy asked irately.

"I did drop my wallet," Grubber replied, "But that wallet isn't mine."

"Well, it's got your ID!" Stormy shouted as he pulled Gruuber's ID out of the wallet.

"Yes, but my wallet is black and had your logo on it," Grubber pointed out.

Stormy growled and shoved the wallet in Grubber's mouth.

"Take the bucking wallet!" Stormy barked.

Suddenly, Stormy fell to the floor in a spasming mess, laughing uncontrollably as the tickle belt started tickling his DNA. All the while, a jaunty tune mixed in with some laughs can be heard.

"The lesson here," Discord said while doing his Professor Snape impression, "Is to be patient and to realize you can't snap.....your problems away."

Discord snapped his fingers to turn Grubber's wallet back to normal.

The second goodness lesson Discord taught involved Grubber carrying a heavy package in order to teach Stormy how to help people with something that is heavier than a wallet.

"Wowee, mister," Stormy said in the same bored tone as before "That package sure looks heavy. Would you like me to..."
Before Stormy could finish his sentence, he felt a crushing pain in his right foot. It appeared that Grubber had clumsily dropped the package on his foot.

"Sorry," Grubber said, "My bad."

Grubber picked up the package again, only for it to fall out of his hands and onto Stormy's foot. Several of Grubber's bone-crushing attempts later, Stormy pushed him out of the way, ripped the box open and found out, to his extreme frustration, the box was full off Storm King brand wallets not that different from Grubber's.

"DISCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORD!"

Author's Note

I trust no-one minds that this chapter is slightly late.

"Slightly" being the operative word since it's probably still Wednesday where you live. :twilightsmile: