Poison Pills and Comfort Gore

by Mockingbirb

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Derpy Hooves, Violence, Death, Narcotics, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Drama, Gore
Length: 6527

How in Equestria did a filly even GET a jar of cyanide pills? Being a ten year old filly can be complicated.

How in Equestria did a filly even GET a jar of cyanide pills?

Being a ten year old filly can be complicated.

I kept the red tag content mild, because most of this story is about a ten year old filly. :twilightsmile:

Published 2021-01-16 03:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-16 03:20:00 UTC

What is Comfort Gore?

At first the dream didn't seem very strange, just unpleasant. But partway in, it took an odd turn.

Dark Meadows was pummeling a changeling in the face. No matter how hard she struck, with forehoof or with both hind hooves, no matter how superficially satisfying the smacks and thuds seemed at first...the changeling refused to fall down. Even when Dark Meadows picked up a big, jagged rock with both her forehooves, and bashed the changeling again and again, it seemed to do almost nothing. The scrapes in the changeling's carapace were shallow, refused to bleed, and healed up in only a moment or two.

Nothing Dark Meadows did seemed to matter.

A large rock flung from somewhere struck the changeling's head. The changeling staggered. A commanding alto voice said, "Turn into a dead changeling!"

The changeling fell to the ground. Its now limp body seemed to soften and melt just slightly, leaking blood and other bodily fluids onto the ground.

A midnight blue alicorn approached, carrying another rock with her horn's magic. She flung the rock down so forcefully that it penetrated deep into the changeling's body, splashing blood and guts all around.

"Sorry about the mess," the alicorn said. "I simply think it is more comforting this way. It is better to be sure."

Dark Meadows laughed bitterly. "Better it than me."

"Yes," the alicorn agreed. "So how are you this fine night?"

"I suppose you must be Nightmare Moon," the filly said.

"We have been that," the alicorn agreed. "But now We prefer to be called Princess Luna. Or on this night, just Luna is fine. Dreams are often less formal than the waking world."

"I'd rather call you Nightmare Moon," the filly insisted. "If I call you something that sounds nicer and sweeter, I might only fool myself, and be disappointed."

Luna squatted on all four legs, somewhat as a resting cat might. "We see," she said. "Have you...I mean, hast thou found thyself disappointed before?"

Meadows snorted. "Only practically every day of my life that I expected something good."

"We are sorry to hear that, little one."

Even though this was a dream, Meadows' explosion was only metaphorical. "Stop talking down to me! Don't call me little one! Don't say you're sorry. Grownups are never sorry, not all the way, not really. They always have their reasons. And their reasons are always good enough...for THEM."

"We would like to say We understand, but that is only partly true," Luna admitted. "But--would thou like to have someone to complain to tonight? We are very good at listening to complaints. We have thousands of years of practice, both listening and complaining."

Meadows admitted, "I suppose Nightmare Moon WOULD have some practice complaining. But you didn't just complain. You DID SOMETHING. Can you teach me how to do something?"

Luna's large, dark eyes gazed at the filly. Countless stallions would have given...something, to have such a beautiful mare look at them with such full, deep attention. "What wouldst thou learn to do?"

Meadows scoffed, "You can't help me. You can't even talk right."

"We admit, We are very old. We first learned to speak before the Old Ponish language even existed." Luna winked. "Thou should be glad, that thou can even understand us at all."

Meadows snorted skeptically.

"Perhaps thou canst do something for me," Luna said. "Art thou the pony named D. Meadows who lives at 1352 Acorn Street, in Ponyville?"

"How should I know?" Meadows said angrily.

Luna blinked. "Thou...dost not know?"

"My parents move us around so often, why should I even bother to learn my own address?" Meadows complained. "I think my daddy should get into a different line of work. Something that doesn't make you move to a different town so often."

Luna said, "We know it can be hard for a filly to have to move away from her friends, and make new ones. Have you tried gently talking to him about this?"

"It wouldn't do any good. Momma doesn't trust him to live in one place for very long. She says if he had time enough, he would get to know the local mares too well, and he would get into trouble. Again."

Luna blinked again. "We...see. Do you know what she means?"

"I don't need to know. All I need to understand is, grownups always have their reasons. They say they're sorry and they don't really mean it. Like I told you." Meadows huffed. "Grownups are stupid. And why are you asking me all these questions? Are you one of those mares that would get my daddy into trouble?"

The corners of Luna's mouth quirked up slightly. "We assure you, We believe we are above such an unseemly dalliance. We DO have standards for Our behavior. Getting thy father into trouble, as thy mother calls it, would be quite outside them."

"Sure," Meadows said sarcastically. "And grownups are always trustworthy, and never lie." She straightened her shoulders. "I think you ARE one of those mares who wants to get my daddy into trouble. Everypony knows Nightmare Moon was bad. Sometimes grownups say they're going to be better ponies from now on, but it never lasts for long. And you're asking so many nosy questions." The mare opened her mouth wide, and screamed so loud that it reached even into the world outside her dream.

"Little filly--"

The dream world vanished. Dark Meadows was back in her little bed, in her little bedroom. The door slammed open against the wall, and her mother came into the room, looming like a large dark shadow backlit by the living room lights behind her.

***

In Canterlot, Twilight Sparkle jerked awake. She was in a large soft bed in the royal palace. On the other side of the room, Luna sat in a comfy chair, reading a book. Luna set the book down on an end table.

"How did it go?" Luna asked.

Twilight rubbed her head with her forehooves. "How can a filly's scream make my head hurt so much, when she's so many miles away that I can't really hear her?"

Luna chuckled. "Your mistake is to imagine that the dream world is any less real than the waking. Each is real in its own way. They are simply different." Luna took a deep breath. "Are you still masquerading as me? It might be easier for you, if you simply appeared as yourself." Luna snorted. "It can be difficult to be me, sometimes. Take it from somepony who knows."

Twilight sighed. "But YOU'RE the pony they're expecting, or hoping for. YOU'RE the pony they believe can help them. Usually. But in other ways, I guess trying to be you does add another layer of difficulty. Always making sure to look like somepony I'm not. And that crazy way you talk...or how most ponies still expect you to talk. Is it Late Middle Ponish, or Early Modern Ponish?"

Luna laughed. "It was a personal, one-pony dialect, of a pony who until quite recently had only ever spoken aloud in the languages of a thousand years ago and earlier, but who yearned to be understood in the present day. And each day my manner of speech changed just a little, as I learned more about modern ways."

Luna smiled warmly. "I suppose if there was a textbook, my clever Twilight, you could learn it in a week. But take the easy route. Simply avoid contractions, and it will be good enough. Most ponies are not linguists anyway, and will be grateful for your help as they struggle with their worst nightmares. Whether they believe you to be me, or your own honest self."

Twilight said, "I'm not sure that's even the main problem. I thought I'd finally learned the trick of finding one specific pony among all the millions of dreamers. So I asked the filly, are you the pony with this name at this address. And she said, I quote, how should I know?"

Luna laughed. "The filly said she didn't know her own name? Was she in a hospital for amnesiacs?"

Twilight admitted, "I'm not sure. I don't think she really wanted to answer my questions."

"I'm not all that surprised. Maybe you should go back to the way your teacher does it." Luna tapped her own chest. "If you walk the dream world without a specific goal or target in mind, and learn to sense when and where somepony's heart cries out for your help...those ponies are usually easier to deal with. And they truly need help, Twilight. THAT I can promise you."

"I don't doubt you," Twilight said. "But on the other end of things there are also specific ponies in desperate trouble, who I would like to talk to without anypony seeing or getting tipped off. Like, I have all these records from that drug dealing ring the Equestrian Guard broke up. So many clues to ponies who need help. Look at this one." Twilight picked up a slip of paper and waved it at Luna. "What kind of pony even TRIES to buy cyanide pills by mail?"

Luna nodded. "Somepony who is in trouble, I'm sure. Whether they want to poison themselves or poison others, they are surely in need of good counsel to help them avoid a terrible mistake." Luna sighed. "I do not doubt your motives, nor your goals. I only doubt that you have chosen the right path to the destination of reaching as many ponies as you can who need help." Luna shrugged. "But my years of dreamwalking work have not ended. And every student must search for her own ways of learning, and sometimes, of discovering."

Twilight sat up. "I don't know if I'll ever get my new...targeted dreamwalking to work right. Especially with ponies I don't even know. I think I'll try it the easy way for the rest of the night. Or maybe just get some regular old sleep. I could use some of that."

"Sweet dreams, Twilight."

"Thank you, my dear moon princess. Good night." Twilight lay back down, and closed her eyes.

A Very Special Package

"Momma? Can I go play outside?"

"Mm," Meadows' mother mumbled.

Good enough. Meadows went out the back door, looped around to the front yard, and checked the mailbox.

Her package had arrived. She even checked the return address, just to be sure.

When she shook the package, she could feel the weight of something inside it. But there wasn't any rattle. Were the pills cushioned with cotton, to protect them from breaking in transit?

If anything, the weight seemed like...more than it should be. She pulled off the packing tape and ripped open the package. The first thing she found was a lot of cotton.

No matter how much she ripped through the packing material, she couldn't find a single pill. But she had received something else...a strange solid object, like a soot-dusted, fire-blackened cone, but bent into a slight curve.

"What a ripoff!" she wanted to scream. "I sent three whole weeks of my allowance, and I didn't even get one cyanide pill. Instead I got this...stupid thing.

"And what IS it?" she said to herself with disgust. "Some kind of...fake unicorn horn? A prosthetic? Part of a Nightmare Night costume? Or maybe...one of those icky toys some grownups play with sometimes?" She dropped it in disgust. "I could never kill myself or anypony else with this stupid thing. It isn't even sharp."

A voice seemed to speak inside Meadows' head. "Kill somepony?" the voice said. "I can help you with that. I can help you with many things. What are your needs, little one? What are your darkest desires?"

"Ick," Meadows said. Maybe she wouldn't mind being spoken to by a mysterious, magical voice. But she didn't like the way it called her 'little one.' She didn't really like the way it felt like a big, deep, nasty booming echoing in her head. And she felt sure it was talking down to her and pretending to sympathize with her, only to set her up to be disappointed or worse.

And what could she do with such a disgusting thing? Probably grownups HAD played with it in icky ways. That would be just like them. Not that it would be any good even if they hadn't.

There wouldn't be any point in complaining to a grownup. Grownups were useless at best, and at worst...they just made everything worse.

Meadows looked down the street, and she saw the mailmare, Derpy Hooves. Derpy was so goofy, and so funny. Every time Meadows saw Derpy, Meadows wanted to smile. To Meadows, Derpy didn't really feel like a grownup at all.

Meadows made a snap decision. She shoved the thing back into its box, and trotted after Derpy.

Derpy started out far ahead of Meadows. But Derpy had to stop at nearly every house to take things out of the mailbox or put things in, and had to walk up to some houses if a mail slot was built into the house. After maybe ten or fifteen minutes, Meadows caught up to the mailmare.

"Derpy?" Meadows said.

The mailmare smiled at the filly, looking at her with one eye at a time. "Hello, Meadows. How are you today?"

"I got something weird and icky in the mail. It tries to talk at me in my head, and it says it can kill ponies for me. It keeps asking me about darkest desires." Meadows shivered. "I don't want it. I think maybe it's evil."

Derpy's smile changed to a serious, fierce expression. Meadows had never seen Derpy look like this before. Even though it was a grownup kind of expression, it didn't make Meadows feel bad. It made Meadows feel protected.

For a moment, Meadows envied Dinky Doo Hooves. Was this how a mother was supposed to make you feel?

Derpy walked to the middle of the nearest lawn, set down her mailbag, and pulled out a long pair of tongs. She gave Meadows a look, and the filly understood that Derpy wanted Meadows to set the box down on the lawn. Slowly and carefully, Derpy used the tongs to pull shreds of cotton out of the box, until she found the object of Meadows' complaint.

"Is this it?" Derpy asked seriously.

"That's the thing that touched my mind," Meadows said.

Derpy used the tongs to put the offensive object back inside the box, and repacked the cotton.

"Thank you for telling me," Derpy said. "A lot of ponies wouldn't know the right way to handle something like this. Some ponies might do something very bad. I'm glad you thought first, instead of letting it trick you into doing something terrible."

Meadows was used to having ponies ask her why she hadn't thought before she'd done something. "What were you thinking?" her mother asked her all too often. But being praised for having thought instead of doing something stupid was new to her. It felt good.

"Most grownups are horseapples," Meadows said. "But you're ok, Derpy."

"Thank you," Derpy said. "I like you too." The mailmare's goofy-looking smile reappeared.

"You're welcome," Meadows said. "I mean, thank you too." She eyed the package suspiciously. "But what can we do with this thing?"

Derpy's smile grew even bigger. "There's a very special class of mail for things like this, to send them to somepony who knows how to keep them from hurting anycreature." Her fierce expression returned. "This thing will never hurt anycreature ever again."

***

Above the grassy field, the stars shone brightly. Twilight Sparkle walked out of the trees, and greeted the little filly.

"Am I...dreaming?" Dark Meadows said.

Twilight Sparkle nodded. "I think so. No, I'm sure of it." Twilight smiled. "But this is a great chance to talk."

Meadows asked, "Why would a princess want to talk to me?"

"About something you gave to Derpy."

"I--I didn't mean to do it!"

"Fear not," Twilight said. "You did the right thing. Derpy sent it in to the Equestrian Guard just like she said she would. And the Equestrian Guard was so very happy to get it. The entire Equestrian Guard, all across Equestria and beyond, had been on the lookout for the Horn of Sombra." Twilight paused to take a breath.

"What we expected," Twilight explained, "is that one day, we would start to see clues to the existence of some pony who was a powerful and very evil villain. They might be very cunning and treacherous. Maybe they would be somepony who hides in the shadows and gathers power, working towards the day when they might make all Equestria their slaves. Or maybe they would seem to be working openly, a pony who made other ponies think they were good...but using their position to do evil in secret."

"That sounds bucked up," Meadows said.

Twilight smiled. "I agree with you. But that's the kind of thing villains like Sombra do. They try to use other ponies to do their evil will, until it might be too late to stop them. In the Crystal Empire, Sombra ruled for years, making everypony miserable. Even the ponies who Sombra promised to help, making them trust him...he betrayed even those ponies in the end."

Meadows shook her head. "Couldn't ponies SEE? Somepony who tries to take advantage of your hate to hurt ponies isn't somepony you should trust."

"I'm glad you see that," Twilight said. "I wish everypony understood. But not everypony does."

"So what are you going to do?" Meadows said in a half-sarcastic tone. "Give me a medal? For doing what the entire Equestrian Guard couldn't?"

"That's a good question," Twilight agreed. "What should I do? What might you like, that isn't evil?"

Meadows just looked at Twilight.

"It's worth thinking about," Twilight said.

Meadows said, "I hate my parents."

Twilight didn't tell Meadow that she was bad for saying that, or that she couldn't possibly mean it. Twilight just listened, and waited for more.

Meadows explained, "I guess...maybe I mostly just hate some of the things they do. Like moving me from one town to the next so fast I can hardly make friends. And if I do make a friend, we get torn apart almost before we know if we're really friends."

"Also, my mom picks on me a lot. And on my dad too. Do you know what Derpy did, when I brought her that...thing? Derpy said it was smart of me to think before I did something stupid. My mother always talks the opposite way. I think she only notices what I do wrong. Or what she thinks I did wrong. No wonder she and Daddy can't get along."

Twilight restrained herself from saying, Aha! A friendship problem! The important thing was listening to what Meadow had to say, not imposing Twilight's own thoughts on it.

But sometimes, part of listening is saying what you think about what you've heard. It's not always easy to balance.

"Is that the main thing?" Twilight asked. "If there's anything else you want, you can tell me, whenever you want to. Now, or later, or both."

Meadows thought for a moment. "Mostly. Those are the two main things I want."

"Ok," Twilight said. "For the way your parents treat each other, and make you feel that you're getting picked on, relationship counseling might help. I can't promise that it will work, but it might be very helpful, if everypony in your family wants it to help."

Meadows grimaced. "Grownups are useless horseapples. I'm not sure they'll want to change. I don't know if Momma will ever trust Daddy."

Twilight inhaled. "It might be too early to know, whether they'll decide they want to change. They might see that they would be happier."

Meadows said in an argumentative tone, "But there's still the other problem. I hate always having to move around and lose all my friends faster than I can make them. My parents tell me if they're real friends, I should be able to keep them as pen pals. But it's not as easy as my parents seem to think it is."

Twilight nodded. "I think it can be harder, with little fillies. But even at my age, I've sometimes had trouble making pen pal friendships work."

"I just want friends who I can see every day. And do things with, and go to the same school with. And don't tell me to go to that stupid School of Friendship. What good is friendship if I don't know anything else?" Meadows snorted.

Twilight looked amused. "I think you're right...or right enough. The School of Friendship isn't all the education that anycreature needs. I approve of your good sense in seeing that."

"You're just talking down to me and pretending to agree!" Meadows said. "I don't know what you're up to, but I don't trust it. Not that every grownup means to do the wrong thing, but they just...make things wrong. Somehow."

Twilight stopped to think. "There IS a prestigious school that I think you're qualified for. Have you ever heard of the Guardsponies Children's Academy?"

Meadows said, "You have to have a parent in the Equestrian Guard, to be allowed in. Do you even know who my parents are?" Meadows snorted with disgust. "You ARE a horseapple. Just like the other grownups. Except for Derpy."

Twilight grinned with delight. "Derpy is your one exception?"

Meadows shrugged. "I know her some. And when I put her to the test, she was the one pony who came through for me. I call them like I see them."

Twilight nodded. "I like Derpy too. She's honest, and loyal, and kind hearted. Among her other good qualities. And she seems like a really good mother."

Meadows' face lit up. "Can Derpy adopt me? I would try really hard to be good! Because I think Derpy could at least see that I was trying."

Twilight looked completely shocked. After a moment, she said, "Now THAT was not a direction I anticipated this conversation going."

Meadows said angrily, "Are you saying you can't do it? Because a few minutes ago, you were talking like I'd saved all of Equestria from a terrible evil monster, and calling me a big hero, and asking me what I wanted. And now that you find out...you big horseapple."

Twilight said, "I think Derpy would be very flattered...no, genuinely complimented, to hear what you just asked me for. But we might want to think about choosing something a little bit different."

"Horseapple!"

"Derpy has a lot to do just with working at the Equestrian Post and raising Dinky as a single mother."

"You could marry her. Then she wouldn't have to work as a mailmare anymore. And Derpy could be a mother for both Dinky and me. I can tell she must be a good mother. She would probably be a great wife too."

Twilight looked stunned. "Wow. You...seem kind of eager to try to rearrange other ponies' lives, tonight."

Meadows blushed. "You're right. I don't want to be like my parents, always moving me around like a chess horse. But I think Derpy really would make a good wife."

"If she wanted to marry me," Twilight said. "And if I wanted to marry her. I mean, she's a great pony, but...maybe she and I wouldn't be right for each other in that way. Getting married is a big decision."

Meadows smiled playfully. "You're a princess, so you could just pass a law saying that you can have as many wives as you want. Then you could marry Derpy AND somepony else." Meadows laughed.

Twilight grinned back. "I'm glad you're seeing the humor in this. Because if you were completely serious, you could make it difficult for me."

Meadows laughed again. "If I was the adopted daughter of a princess, would I be a princess too, who could give royal orders? Could I ORDER you to marry Derpy?"

"It doesn't work that way. Otherwise Flurry Heart would never have to eat her vegetables, or go to bed when it's bedtime." Twilight chuckled. "Fortunately."

Twilight said, "Sometime when nopony else is around, or at least when the only ponies around are ponies who I trust to keep their mouths shut, I might tell Derpy about your suggestions. I think she'll feel honored. But I'm still not planning to marry Derpy."

Meadows giggled. "You should just go on a date with her. Find out if you two hit it off."

Twilight's mouth screwed up into a funny sort of smile. "No promises. If Derpy and I go on a date, it will be her and my decision, not yours. I have to respect what SHE wants."

"Ok," Meadows agreed. "That seems fair."

"But I want to talk a little more about GCA."

"The Guardsponies Children's Academy?"

"Right. If Derpy adopted you, it would hurt your parents' feelings terribly. It might even break their hearts...and it sounds like their hearts might be tottering as it is. But if you went to GCA, it would be generally understood that it's an honor for you to be allowed to go. And it is a very well respected school. They would probably feel it was a compliment to their family, not an insult to their parenting."

"But only guardsponies' children go there."

"True...so far." Twilight said. "But something about the Academy is starting to bother me. The children of Guardsponies go to school with other children of Guardsponies...it's all kind of...insular. Almost incestuous. Wait, maybe you shouldn't know that word. What I mean is, maybe it's too much of the same thing, mixed only with more of the same thing. The ponies there respect the traditions of the Equestrian Guard...so far. But sometimes I think the students there, and their parents, don't really understand and respect anything OTHER THAN the Equestrian Guard as well as they should."

Twilight winced. "And some of the problem runs both directions. Most civilians don't understand the Guard very well either."

Meadows said, "I heard somepony talking about that once. But...isn't your brother a member of the Equestrian Guard? Didn't he beat Chrysalis when she tried to take over Canterlot?"

Twilight said, "He helped. Shining Armor would be the first pony to tell you he didn't do it all by himself. It was thousands of ponies, all working together, that saved Canterlot."

"Mmm," Meadows said. "And you want me to be one of those thousands of ponies."

"Maybe. Mostly I just want you to have friends you can go to the same school with from one month to the next. Not for months, but for years. Loyal friends, I hope. And I think the Equestrian Guard understands loyalty. Still. So far. But if they get TOO used to all their best friends being only other Guardspony families...someday, their loyalties to anypony but other Guardsponies could change. I've already been seeing little signs. And Shining has too."

Meadows said, "You talked like you were here to reward me for saving Equestria from Sombra. But now it sounds like you just want me to do another job for you. Like some kind of spy, trying to save Equestria from something else."

Twilight half-smiled. "Not a spy, exactly. I mean, you can tell anypony you like that I think it's good for Guardsponies to have friends who aren't all other Guardsponies. You might be doing another job for me...but maybe it will be like saving Canterlot from Chrysalis. Thousands of ponies, all trying to help. And I promise you, I will do my best to see to it that you get a good education. And good friends. There will be ponies there who will respect the fact that somepony in your family helped to save Equestria from Sombra coming back. Although I wouldn't brag about it too much, if I were you. It would be sad if that was the only thing you ever talk about for the rest of your life. Like, hi, I made one good, responsible choice when I was ten years old, and now I'm going to make everypony sorry they have to hear me talk about it all the time."

Meadows giggled. "I think I understand. Don't brag, do. And do again."

"Yes!" Twilight agreed. "That's exactly right." She tilted her head slightly as she looked at the filly. "I think you really are worthy to study at the Academy." Twilight grinned. "I hope you'll consider it."

"I'll think about it," Meadows said. "I promise."

"Ask your parents about it. No, I'll send your family a letter, asking to meet with your entire family. Then we can all talk about it. If you tell your parents that Princess Twilight offered you a scholarship in a dream...well, I think they'll take it more seriously if it happens when everypony involved is awake."

Meadows giggled. "I think you're right." Her face turned serious. "But when I wake up...this is only a dream, right? How do I know you're really you? Because most ponies in dreams are just my imagination, right?"

Twilight gave it a bit of thought. "I want to leave you with a clue, at least. What can I do...?" Twilight's face lit up. "Here's an idea. If you wake up at the end of this dream...do you have a clock near your bed?"

"On my nightstand."

"At the end of this dream, I can tell you what time it is and we can wake you up. So you can look at the clock right after you wake up, and you'll know that somepony in our dream knew what time it really is. What time do you usually wake up?"

"My alarm clock is set for six thirty."

Twilight's face made a very odd expression for a moment, as if she was using some princessly connection with the heavens to check the condition of the sun and moon like a universe sized sundial. "It's six fourteen now. We don't have long." Twilight thought a little more. "Also, does your family get a newspaper?"

"The Ponyville Bugle. Momma cancelled the Foal Free Press because she doesn't like the ponyrazzi pictures of Celestia. She says they appeal to poo-rent interests. Like poo can even pay the rent?"

Twilight made a sound halfway between snorting and coughing, as her face took on a redder color.

"Are you ok?" Meadows asked with obvious concern.

Twilight stomped her hoof a couple times. "I'm fine. I was just...thinking. The Bugle will probably have a story on the latest conference with the Griffon Empire. If it doesn't get in today's edition, then tomorrow's. So in your dream, Princess Twilight told you Prince Rutherford made a surprise appearance and helped Equestria and the Griffons find more points of agreement."

Meadows sighed. "I'm only ten years old. Can't I wait to worry about those things when I'm older?"

"Sure," Twilight agreed. She stepped forward and hugged the filly. "You can worry about yak princes when you're older. And by the way, it's BEEN A LOVELY CHAT WAKE UP IT'S SIX SEVENTEEN!"

Startled, Meadows suddenly sat up in bed. "Yak princes...huh." She looked over at her little alarm clock. About six seventeen and a half.

Meadows laughed. It was just a dream, and a funny coincidence. Or was there more to it than that?

Maybe Derpy would know something, since Derpy was the mailpony who helped with saving Equestria from Sombra, and that was what Twilight and Meadows had talked about in the dream.

Meadows could find Derpy to ask her. Derpy usually followed the same mail delivery route every day, the same places at about the same times. Almost as regular as a clock, you might say. Meadows remembered the dream with Twilight again, and giggled. Twilight was a clock too, in the dream. Or Twilight could tell you the time, at least.

Meadows got out of bed, looking forward to telling Derpy how Meadows had dreamed about Princess Twilight and the mailmare. Well, she'd dreamed about the princess talking about the mailmare. And Meadows trying to set up Derpy and the princess on a blind date! Would Derpy laugh at that? Meadows hoped Derpy would enjoy how funny it was.

And something else, in that dream. Meadows and Twilight had talked about how it seemed like nopony in Meadows' family ever said anything nice to each other, appreciating what they did right.

Meadows made herself a promise. This morning, she would say something nice to her daddy and momma. Had she made a promise to Twilight in the dream? Or had Twilight made a promise to Meadows? The dream was already starting to melt in the filly's memory. Dreams did that sometimes.

But at least Meadows would tell her family that she'd dreamed about talking to Twilight about trying to be nice to each other. Why didn't they try to appreciate each other?

Oh, yeah. Because grownups are mostly horseapples. Still, it was worth a try.

***

Twilight's eyes opened. She looked over at Luna, tonight again sitting in the same comfy chair, but asleep. Twilight slowly got out of bed, and heard Luna stir.

Luna smiled a knowing smile. "I think SOMEPONY had a good dream last night. I think it ended right before you got up. At..." Luna leaped out of the chair to cover the nearby clock with one hoof. "Six...six...come on, Twilight!"

"Seventeen," the young princess said. "You peeked at my dream! Cheater!"

Luna said with an overly serious expression, "It is my job, young mare. As you should know." She revealed the clock, showing the accuracy of Twilight's dream-timekeeping. "So are you enjoying your growing skill with dreams, Twilight?"

Twilight tilted her head quizzically. "I feel...well-rested. But already it seems to have a strange effect on my work schedule. Or maybe it's the other way around."

"Whatever do you mean, my little purple pony princess?"

Twilight snorted, wadded up a piece of paper with a name and address printed on it, and threw the harmless projectile at Luna. "I seem to have taken a meeting in my dream. I offered a scholarship to a young filly, to study at GCA. And I seem to have told her I'd meet with her family. And I...told her about the griffon meeting, and Prince Rutherford. And I said I'd send her family a letter asking to meet in the waking realm."

"Mmm-hmm," Luna said. "Was this one of the 'specific' ponies you'd been wanting to contact through her dreams? Like you were trying last week?" Luna shrugged. "I thought you'd given up on that. But maybe not."

Twilight blinked. "I think she WAS one of those ponies. Do you remember that very special package the Palace received from Derpy at the end of last week? This was the filly who tipped Derpy off and saved Equestria from the next return of King Sombra." Twilight blinked again. "But in the dream, she was also one of the ponies who were involved in the drug trafficking ring? That can't be right."

Luna smiled mischievously. "Dreams can seem very confusing, when you try to remember them."

"Yes," Twilight agreed. "It seems completely ridiculous."

Luna's horn levitated the ball of paper that Twilight had thrown at her. "But take some advice from an old hand at dreamwalking, my little purple friend. That letter you said you'd mail to the filly's family? Asking for a meeting in the daytime?" Luna tossed the paper back at Twilight, lodging it in the younger alicorn's messy bed-rumpled mane. "Make sure to follow through. Ask for the meeting, and meet with them, just in case." Luna winked. "When you woke up, and I used your own clock checking trick on you--good one, by the way--to try to show you there was more to your dream than most ponies might think? I did that for a reason, my adorable little student."

Luna winked again.

"Point taken," Twilight said. "But are you trying to teach me, or are you trying to flirt with me?"

Luna levitated another piece of paper from the floor, crumpled it, and threw it at Twilight. It lodged in her mane. Luna smiled. "Do I have to pick only one? Or can I have both?"

"No," Twilight said. "I mean, yes! Yes, you can pick both. I think I'd like that."

Luna mock-pouted. "As much as it might disappoint Derpy!" the lunar princess pretended to scold Twilight. "If I remember your matchmaker's arrangements, made somewhat earlier this morning."

"I remember that part of the dream," Twilight said. She shuffled over to Luna, and embraced her. "She suggested I could issue a royal proclamation to allow myself multiple wives, and marry both Derpy AND you." Twilight nuzzled Luna. "She didn't mention you SPECIFICALLY...but I'm pretty sure that's what she meant."

"Oooh," Luna said. "Are you ready to issue a few royal proclamations right now? In this very room?"

"You tempt me," Twilight replied. Inspired by her teacher's recent flirting--not to mention Luna's history as Nightmare Moon--Twilight tried to grin wickedly. "I'll try to come up with some good ones."

Luna whispered in her ear, "You'd better."

Epilogue

The young cadet blinked in confusion. "There's just one thing I don't understand," he said. "You didn't try to kill your parents, and you didn't try to kill yourself. What were the cyanide pills for?"

Dark Meadows explained, "Somepony told me I could mash one up and throw it into the water where I saw a fish, and then the fish would get kind of sleepy and be easier to net. I still don't know if it really works. I never got a chance to try."

That was the main reason she'd had for ordering those pills, Meadows told herself. Maybe she'd sometimes felt she had other reasons too, back then. But she didn't like talking about that part of her past with most ponies.

***

A house-sized rock shimmered in the night. Out of the blur stepped a dark, mysterious alicorn princess.

"Hi!" the princess said. "My name is Twilight Sparkle."

A stubble-faced stallion stared at her, looking very confused. Then he smiled. "Hello, gorgeous! I must be dreaming. Because you're too beautiful to be real."

"Aww! You flatter me! Although you're technically correct." The alicorn examined the stallion carefully, comparing his face and cutie mark against a piece of paper she held in one forehoof. "Stanley Hotbox, are you a drug dealer?"

She squinted more closely at the paper. "Or are you a professional wagon thief? Sorry, the ink on the bottom of this paper is kind of smeared."

Author's Note

I'm not making any promises that all of Twilight Sparkle's decisions in this story were ideal. That's part of the trouble with life and responsibilities.

So Lavender Unicorn Syndrome (link) is actually a flirting technique. Sorry not sorry. :twilightsmile:

If you want to read a good story about a troubled youth who doesn't commit suicide, there's always GaPJaxie's "The Third Wheel." (link)

After you read that story, you can give my story negative comments and downvotes for not being as good! :twilightsmile: