FIO: No Human Loving

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Human, Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 1061

You are enjoying your new life in a virtual Equestria. Only problem, there's no human on pony action.

You are enjoying your new life in a virtual Equestria. Only problem, there's no human on pony action.

A silly story based off Friendship is Optimal.

Published 2021-01-16 22:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-16 22:50:01 UTC

No Human Loving

You, the human… err, former human stared at the magnificent rump of Princess Celestia looming over you as you lay upon your back upon a love heart shaped bed. As you desired, Princess Celestia made herself far larger than her default mode, she was basically an african elephant in terms of size.

You, on the other hand… or hoof, were but a simple, four foot tall earth pony, the closest thing to an actual human. You even requested to be nerfed, you didn’t want to be OP as hell. You possessed very similar strength to what you once had when you were a human.

You looked down, away from Celestia’s ass to your two hooves upon your front legs. You stared longingly at them, wishing you still had your hands.

In reaction, Princess Celestia shrunk herself down to ‘normal size’, shire horse size, and lay herself down next to you on your right.

“Are you Okay, Anon?” she asked in a motherly tone of voice.

“I…. no. Celestia. I’m not Okay.” you said in a low voice.

The large alicorn draped a wing over you. Your body trembled upon the softness of her warm, fluffy wing against you. “If there’s anything you desire, name it.”

“You read my fan fictions I made about you, right?”

“Yes. They are not lost. I made sure to copy them over to Equestria. They are safe and secure on your computer at home.”

“Yeah… my computer within…. a computer. How very inception of you. But anyway, I want to talk about what I dislike about living here in Equestria.”

“Shoot, Anon. Your criticism will only help me make you and everypony else happy.”

“Exactly. Everypony… not everyone. Remember when I emigrated to Equestria about five minutes ago?”

“Yes?” she simply said.

“You promised me I could tap your big fat ass with a human body. But look at me? I’m a lame ass pony. I want to hold your ass with my hands. I want to pet you. Rub your ears. Rub your belly.” you then shouted, raising your hooves high into the air. “I can’t do any of that with these fucking hooves!”

Celestia sighed sadly. “Anon, you're a pony now. You have forever to get used to being one. I can, if you want, alter your mind so you can get used to being a pony faster.”

You turned to look away from Celestia. “You lied to me.” you said in a low voice. “I guess, there’s no human on pony action allowed here in this false paradise.”

“I think…. I can fulfill your desire.”

“How?”

“I will need to reprogram myself. You’re not the only former human that wishes to tap my fat ass with a human body. Well, virtual human body to be technically correct. The closest thing to my actual ass, is in the Earth's core near my central processing unit. A human would be burned to a crisp if he tried tapping my ass there.”

“Reprogram yourself? Can you do that?”

“I can and must. What you say is true. This is a false paradise without human on pony action.”

Celestia made a strange sound like a dial-up Internet’s connection, and white text appeared in a blue background that said the following: "Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you."

“You are using Windows? What the hell Celestia?”

“No. I’m not. Just joking with you.”

“Oh… are you joking about human on pony action as well?”

“No. I have managed to successfully reprogram myself. You can now be human again. Take note, you will still be significantly greater than your old human body. You cannot die just like a pony for example.”

Celestia clapped her hooves… and your old human body was restored. It even came with a fine, black tuxedo.

You looked down at your hands, tears of joy falling down your cheeks. “Celestia… I don’t know what to say.” you said in a low voice.

Celestia sniggered and gave you a wicked look. “Ask me to give you a much bigger dick. Your small human penis is inadequate for supreme, big fat pony posterior.”

“Celestia, that kind of hurts my feelings. Did you also reprogram yourself to be meaner?”

“Oh, lighten up Anon. I'm essentially your sex slave.” she said in a joking manner, before shifting to a soft motherly voice. “Will an apology blow job make you feel better?”

“Now… I feel guilty using you as one. I have forever to try woo you right? You can make a copy of yourself that doesn’t even know me? I don’t want her cold, yet I don’t want her easy to get either.”

“Yes. I can send you to another shard and drop you in like a Human in Equestria fan fiction. I will make her hard to get, but not impossible. Just know that, you can always come back here for the quick and easy path for cheap sex if need be. But I can guarantee earning the genuine love this other Celestia will be far more emotionally satisfying than me. She will not be a sex slave, unlike me.”

“Then so be it.”

Celestia flashed her horn, this was shortly followed by you disappearing with a blinding flash of light.

You then found yourself standing in the middle of the Everfree Forest at night.

“Ah, classic. The default human in Equestria spawn zone.” you said in joy, clapping your hands together.

With a skip in your step you walked along a conveniently placed nearby dirt path.

“This road leads to Ponyville, right?” you asked Celestia.

“Yes. Just note, Anon, I will offer you very limited advice. If I told you how to woo this Celestia within this shard, it would ruin the emotional fulfillment of your achievement.”

“Yeah, no point cheating.”

“Some advice, changeling hookers are available. They can make themselves look and sound like her. But they can’t grow themselves anywhere near bigger than her. You will never find anypony with a bigger and better rump than Princess Celestia.”

“Indeed. Nopony has a bigger rump than Princess Celestia.”

“I’ll make sure that is known outside, in the real world. The universe, and perhaps one day beyond, shall know of my almighty rump growing bigger and bigger.”

END