Gay smut but i use the worse slang for dick possible

by NormalVoreForNormalVeopl

Rating: mature
Tags: Gallus, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Porn, Comedy, Profanity, Sandbar, Sex
Length: 1889

Literally the worst. These have all been used before, by real humans, with partners that didn't immediately leave them after they said it.

Sandbar and Gallus fuck but the narrator doesnt take it seriously and that's okay coz neither do they

For worst experience, listen to this while reading: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhnwt81YVqQ&list=PLOYW2sV_mdpl3wfuMcbpZtFJmjNs0A527&index=9

Heres a pic of my dog: https://i.redd.it/udfirlbfskb61.jpg

Published 2021-01-17 08:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-17 08:40:01 UTC

No Thundersword Like Horse Thundersword

"I gotta say, man, it's been, what, an hour? And I'm not at all impressed by this movie."

"No, no, wait, this is my favorite character. He's so funny, I loved him as a kid. Even dressed up as him for Nightmare Night once."

"You sure? He looks like he's gonna be another annoying comic relief character with no discernable personality."

"I'm serious. He's funny as fuck. Just wait."

"Alright, maybe he can salvage this dump."

He did not. Gallus watched him prance around and make fart jokes, raising an eyebrow at his boyfriend seated across from him, who still had his hoof raised expectedly, but whose face was beginning to fall. Finally, he sighed, slouching back into their cheap couch. The two sat in their house, moved together within months of graduating school, due to the thriving and morality-driven Equestrian Housing Economy, which cared more about the consumer than making money, because why wouldn't it?

You don't care about all this, naturally, but hush up, we'll get to the shlongs soon enough.

"Yeah, you're right, this movie blows." Sandbar admitted.

"Eh, most people's favorite movies as kids blew. From what I understand. I never watched a movie until I came to this country." Gallus shrugged, tossing a wing around Sandbar, who smiled cutely at his touch.

"Hey, while we've got a boring night ahead of us, why not show me something else that blows?" Gallus added, quickly coming up with an innuendo on the spot, and impressively fast might I add.

"Celestia, is that your opening line? You've been godawful with foreplay since college."

"What can I say, I'm a claw on type of bird. Far more fun." Gallus smirked, shrugging casually.

"Alright, alright. I never said no."

"Well then, care to put Netflix to it's intended use?" Gallus half lidded his own eyes and raised the ends of his beam smugly.

"Absolutely not. I refuse to fuck to the watchful and comedically oversized eyes of my childhood idol. That's a freudian metaphor I don't feel like diving into this late at night. We're taking this to the bedroom."

"Fine by me. He creeps me out anyway. You gotta show me pics of you dressed up as him."

"I'd say no, but I know it wouldn't matter. You'd go to mom for them, and she'd be more than happy to show you."

"Heh. Yeah, she would."

Lust filled the air as Gallus slunk in a catlike matter towards the bed. Sandbar stretched his curves femininely in the dim lamplight, all seeming to point towards the shadow of his slowly rising kicky-wicky.

Gallus grinned, shoulders rising as he pounced onto the bed, gently pushing his boyfriend backwards onto the bed with the tenderness of a creature that could tear the one beneath him to shreds of flesh if they so desired. Sandbar played his role to this mean, flopping backwards and dramatically casting a hoof to his forehead with a cute gasp, while still making sure to spread his legs to allow clear view of his raging gaying instrument.

The bait was set and the initiative was taken. Gallus felt his own dingle doodle quiver as he leaned down, breathing in the musky air like a scented card at bath and body works. His tongue was coaxed from his beak, and swayed as it approached the base of Sandbar's go-gurt squirter. He probably thought it looked sexy, but from Sandbar's perspective he looked like someone trying to do a snake impression.

Gallus finally made contact with the snorker, giving a sensual wet lick around the base as his first choice of action, eyes closing as the warm Master of Ceremonies met his tongue. Sandbar seemed to think on the same wavelength, as he always did, inhaling sharply but grinning as he waited for his partner to continue with baited breath.

It wasn't coming quickly; they had the whole night, Gallus could make him wait. One set of talons took to cupping his Fat NutsTM as he took another slow lick, following a vein up to the very tip of the Stallon's patootie, then gently pulling the rest of his head forward to mouth the tiniest O around it, quirking a smile as he already began to feel fluids coming from it that weren't blood this time.

Claws and beaks were a balancing act, but a display of trust as well. Fucking a gryphon was a bit like an animated kids movie; if they know what they're doing, it can be an experience that strips you to your softest and most hidden emotions, probing the depths of your soul and making you your most vulnerable. Also like an animated kids movie, there's a chance it'll give you a vore fetish.

Gah, that's a terrible metaphor. Take it out when you're editing.

Precum leaked from the hoo hah in a string to Gallus' tongue, which quickly vanished as the gallus leapt for his prize, taking the ding dong mcdork down his throat entirely, eliciting a longer moan from his partner. Gallus smirked at the reaction, fueling it with calculated swipes up and down along the disco stick's length.

More and more splashes of precum were coaxed from the cum gun as Sandbar hunched over Gallus, grunting and caressing his partner's pronounced shoulder blades, down to where his wings met his spine. He whimpered and bucked his hips as Gallus took it in stride, lapping up the spurts and juggling testicles in his claws, gently shifting them all while running his tongue up and down the top of Sandbar's cranny axe from base to flat tip. Sandbar began to jerk and thrust into it, as if in a trance, burying his face into the plush down atop Gallus' back.

Gallus' speed reached a steady pace finally, slowly ramping up his speed until, with a swift and flourishing c-shaped lick in a loop around the ferret he deepthroated, he tore down the floodgates. Cum seeped into his mouth as he worked fast to swallow the buckets as they came in.

Sandbar's thrusts died as he took a shaky breath, rolling his shoulders as he came down from the orgasmic high. Gallus carefully removed the heat seeking moisture missile from his beak, catching his partner's chin as it fell and gazing lovingly into it.

"Oof... That was..." Sandbar tried to breathe.

"Bananas, man?"

"I said that once. I'm sorry I was a bit loopy, you had just finished rutting me six ways from Sunday."

"Yeah, and I'm never gonna forget it. You sounded like an adventure time character." Gallus teased, leaning back and laughing as they caught their breath.

"So, creature of the night, tired out, or got some more in you?" Sandbar asked, lifting his head to confidently meet the gaze of his boyfriend.

"I've got enough in me to make your ass sing polka."

Sandbar's eyes scrunched as a fullhearted laugh escaped him, doubling him over. "What the hell does that even mean? My ass is about to be blocked up!"

In spite of his embarrassment, the colt's laughter was contagious, and eventually both were collapsed over each other, cackling like gremlins out loud to the point of weeping.

"That just came to me! I can't talk dirty!" Gallus choked, a smile cracked across his entire face.

"Polka is the sexiest music you could think of? HOW DO YOU SING POLKA?"

The two erupted in a second fit of giggles from Sandbar's hoarse croak, just after they had began to calm. They finally died down as they gasped for air, pulling themselves up leaning over each other.

"Celestia... let's not try that again. We know we love each other, we don't need dirty talk." Gallus proposed.

"Happily... Listen man, I'm getting cold. Just shove it up me and let's get back on the road."

Gallus cracked another grin as Sandbar leaned around, laying prostate on the bed with his prostrate inches from his boyfriend. With a claw, the gryphon reached to his own Funky Kong, haphazardly lubing it with his own semen dripping from it. It wasn't the best, but it would work.

Gallus grabbed onto the firm furred cheeks in front of him, steadying himself before sliding his love muscle inside. The two moaned in unison as he made contact, first working to push in as deep as he could until they were pressed together, and then slowly pulling out again, Luigi still coated in cum.

"Celestia, there we go..."

He plunged back in again, both falling into opposing rhythms that smacked flesh together, the girth that was pulled out growing smaller and smaller as Gallus found himself becoming more reliant on the warmth. The two jackhammered into each other with grunts and moans and all the fervor and sloppiness of two fish trying to fistfight. Love was inherent, but there was no lustful passion; just two bros who had itches and wanted to fuck.

It was bananas, man.

Gallus attacked his boyfriend's prostate gland like a street fighter combo, slamming it in a pattern marked by meaty SLAPS. My phone felt the need to autocorrect that word to all caps, so I'm gonna leave it like that. Who am I to question it? Sandbar's sphincter winked as it was stretched and relaxed, pushed to its limits by the gryphon peepee making residence within it, balls shaking between the two.

"F...Fuck..."

Sandbar groaned and clenched his eyes shut as the thrackerzod filled him up, leaving not an inch of untouched anus. Every movement rocked him, rolling his eyes to the back of his head as pleasure washed over him. Ropes of precum were already beginning to unwind inside him, shooting out with the glides of the prime Schwartz. Clenched teeth left him unable to moan as he looked to the heavens. A lewd slurry of sounds cacophoned around the room, as Sandbar's strength began to die, leaving him completely in the control of the griffon railing him, shaking like a sock puppet hanging off of Gallus. No mercy was spared until Gallus finally steadied his midsection with his claws, only to be ripped away again as he clenched at it like a stress ball.

Don't make a bird noise was Gallus' last thought before he plunged in as deep as he could, wang doodle going completely rigid and the space only becoming tighter. His load emptied itself entirely into the stallion beneath him. Sandbar wasn't exempt to this pleasure either; his own erect Pyongyang shot into the bed, and their voices joined in final cries of release.

SQUOAK

Both were still leaking as they pulled out of each other, panting and red, fur and feathers standing straight up. Gallus collapsed onto Sandbar, nuzzling his neck into the messy hair beneath him, sighing contently.

"You think... the Tree of Harmony is watching us?" Sandbar spoke in tired stupor.

"I think.... we've known since school that the Tree is a fuckin creep. It probably was."

Gallus rolled onto the bed beside his partner, nuzzling against his side with eyes still rolling in their sockets.

"Love you, bro. No homo."

"Love you. No homo."

Author's Note

Yeah, I dont see a problem with throwing this together from midnight to 2 am and then spending ten minutes editing before throwing it up. What could go wrong?