Bitter and sweet – chapter 3

“Stop being a little bitch!” I shouted with my arms wide open as Tony and Vixen who just whined. “This is all apart of the plan. I couldn’t care less if you hurt me. If fact, the more damage you do to me, the better. So like I said, stop being a little bitch!” Tony and Vixen wasn’t having none of it. They just shuck their head rapidly; indignant huffs come from the both of them. The Cheeky pricks. Who the fuck do they think they are telling me ‘no’, bastards!

Maybe if I enlighten you all about my plan, you’ll understand why these two shitbags are stubborn to inflict minor damage. All I need is a few scratches deep enough to draw blood. Pussies.

Step one: like I’ve previously mentioned. I need to be on the brink of death around my body to look like I’ve been in a fight with wolves and other monsters in the Everfree.

Step two: come out of the Everfree, screaming and shouting for help. Play unconscious, which is easy enough.

Step three: I’ll end up most likely in a hospital where they will check every component of my body for injuries and will check for my heart rate. With that being said, I’ll have to manipulate my blood through my body to get my heart pumping.

Step four: gain trust in the village, which means I’ll have to be very popular, which shouldn't be too hard considering I am a monster fresh out of the most malicious forest.

Step five: when I’ve spent a week or so with the ponies, one by one, I take them into the Everfree forest with no witnesses and nicking whatever I seek fit for the lifestyle, Feeding my whole pack and bringing furniture and sorts to help the wolves live a comfortable life. Easy as that. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m practically giddy with the mere thought. This is going to be so much fun. I wonder if I run into that pink pony again. Or maybe I’d get to see the cloaked mare also… If she’s alive, that is... Again.

“Vixen! Fat shit! At least give me a scratch!” I shouted, getting more and more frustrated. Vixen scoffed at the insult but didn’t do anything. “Tony, for fuck sake, look at me when I’m talking to you! You fucking mong!” I cursed, my hands turning into fists. Tony stubbornly looked away as he refused to acknowledge my existence. “You know what! Fuck you and fuck you, I’m going to find a fucking dragon or whatever. It might be more entertaining than you fucks.” I sulked, walking away in a pissy mood now. Goddammit, now there following me, ugh.

I ignored them as they proceeded to follow me by my side, looking up to read my face. I closed my eyes and had to force myself not to lash out. They say a dog is a mans best friend, too bad I’ve got a pair of tits and a fanny! They had one job, a straightforward order but nooOo! Fuck a dogs loyalty.

“What do youse two want? Fuck off if you’re not going to do as I say.” I said, walking ahead of them. Can’t they see I’m sulking? Clearly not as they matched my pace, smiling up to me. What? Do they think this is a game? “I said, fuck off!” I stopped in my tracks making them both turn, their head tilted. “Don’t you act like you two don’t know what I’m saying, you absolute knobheads!” I pointed an accusing finger at the both of them. The two wolves just looked blankly at one another, then back at me, as if to say what the fuck is wrong with this bitch? I could feel a vein vibrate out my head, and I could feel my body shake as if something is taking over me. “You two… Are doing… This… On… Purpose… Aren’t you.” I said through gritted teeth. Vixen smiled and nodded as Tony just stepped away from him, not wanting any of what I’m about to do to him. Let’s just say I did more than suplex the motherfucker. In his retaliation, I did get a few scratches, but, I don't see myself dying any time soon. In my act of clear ‘affection’, I sent them back on their way to do whatever they do in the den. Tony was lucky enough to get a whipped ass. The prick. Anyway, scaling the Everfree’s branches, I’m on the lookout for a big motherfucker called a manticore. Yes, another mythical monster in the Greek mythology. I swear, it’s like humans are the mythical creatures, including me. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the case. I wonder if they would rip me apart and experiment on me like an alien if they discovered my existence. I wouldn't put it passed them; that's what humans would have done if they found another sapient being. They just have to know how it ticks in the name of science. I wonder how advanced science is in this world? I mean, they obviously have electricity, having a microwave and shit, but that advanced to have long ranged communication devices or gun powder. I've not seen a long-ranged weapon on these ponies other than bows and arrows, and I’ve only seen one pony with that. Because of magic, ponies font have the advance technology or knowledge we had back in the modern world or even in the Industrial era. I wonder, is humans in the industrial age and ponies had a war. Who would win? Technology or magic? Being a biased bitch I’m going for technology. Sorry ponies but, if I had a feel of their magic. Maybe I would consider them. But for now, their nothing but a tasty meal.

Walking down a path that leads to the east side of the forest, I tuned in an obnoxious barking, realising that I've been ignoring Sarah; hmm, I think I just blacked out for a second.

“Yo, what’s up?” I said, looking down at the little pup. She didn’t reply; she just looked up and smiled as her tail went off on one. “Oh, you want my attention, do you?” I smirked, lifting her off the ground, cradling her. I wonder…

I poked her on the nose, which she recoiled, unsure what to make of it. I poked her again. She sneezed. I did it again, but this time she growled and barked her gripe. I didn’t let up. I did it a couple of more times which she responded as I hoped so, I lifted her to my face and let her go to town. She started scratching and biting my face and hand. Not the most pain I’ve felt but, whatever cuts me will do. Now I need bigger cuts. Whimpering was heard from Sarah as she looked at her dirty work. I just smiled and placed her back on the ground.

“You did a good job, love. At least you attempted to kill me, unlike Jim Parsons and Todd Spiewak, if you get my meaning.” I laughed reassuringly, which did help her tail slightly move. Good. Better than her moaning. Jeez, you’d think it was the end of the world. Now, to find something bigger. Oooo, speak of the devil. Look at what we have here, A few members of The Gulf Pack creeping towards our territory? I smiled mischievously. “Okay, Sarah. I want you to stay here. While I take care of some bad guys, okay?” I said sweetly. Sarah looked alarmed, but I fixed her with a glare, and she sat her ass down. “Good, girl.” I rattled her head and went on ahead, a creep in my steps. Well, time to get some scars.

I was about to jump right into the fight when my dumb-ass realised that I really don’t want my clothes to get all messed up in this fight. Am I really going to fight naked? Fuck sake! Still, I need it too look realistic; It would be weird having scars around my body just for my clothes to be completely intact. It might as well; it's a bit fucked from my previous fight. Hay, you never know. I could get it repaired. Then it only hit me that I haven't seen a single pony wear bloody clothes. God fucking dammit. I sighed, twisting my wrist to check if my blade wasn’t jammed. Surely enough, the tip glistened from the sun. Welp, here we go.

Purposely rustling the bushes, I stepped out with my very own trademark grin, all the heads turning to me with those incredible razor fangs. I bared my very own canines to provoke a feud, my right hand reaching from my back pocket where my kukri was ready. There was six of them, not so surprising. Wolves travel, fight, hunt in groups; this is going to be interesting. The last time I fought a pack of wolves was when I was first introduced to this world, and let's say; they play dirty. Just how I like it.

“What! Never seen someone like me in the neck of the woods?” I raised my arms to the sides, showing how far my arms go. Let’s say they didn’t take the taunt likely. All at once they came and without shallying nor second thought, all of them lunges towards me with their powers combined. I didn’t move or flinch. I just waited as I closed my eyes, waiting for that familiar pain… well, the familiar pain that never came. I opened my eyes to see that more wolves had come scampering from behind me and collided with the same amount of strength. I sighed at the sight of two different shades of wolves fighting one another.

“For fuck sake! This is the only time youse useless wolves come to help me, isn’t it.” I flailed my arms, rubbing the outer sides of my eyes in irritation. I swear, these wolves are doing this despite me. Once I'm in some sort of fight that I intend to come out unscratched, I bet those lazy fuckers would be eating popcorn on the sideline like Gareth Bale for Spurs. But, oh if I want to get some scars like right now. These woke motherfuckers be like Nah, fam. Fuck you and fuck your plan, slut!

So, as I sit there, fist on a cheek with a unamused glare as I watched the wolves scrap. In the end, the opposition fucked off as two of them were killed. They did kill Jeffry, though, didn’t know him but, I did just decide to give him a name before he died. Fucking Jeffry. I just stared at them, unimpressed as they stared back as if they saved my ass. I swear imma bitch slap one of them.

Whining could be heard from bushes, where a trail of sap led. One of the wolves (that I just agreed to call Ellie) snuck into the bush. The wailing got louder as Ellie came out, violently pulling a slim leg of a majorly Injured solve form the other pack. Well, well, well, they can be useful. My pack looked at me in conformation. What? Don’t these fucktards know what to do with her?

“Take her to Dryad; he'll get the info out of her.” I waved my hand dismissively with a bored tone. The wolves just nodded and headed back to the lair with the fucked wolf at their mercy. Finally, I thought they would never leave. Now then, let's get to it… Wait… Did they just take an order from me?

I looked over to the direction to when the wolves went with a bit of sentiment; it could be Dryad’s orders, maybe he had gave me the authority or their own privilege that led them to act on the attack. I raised a hand to my chin in thought. Or Maybe… Just maybe.

-=-

Meeting back up with Sarah, my ass continued to the popular neighbourhood where the manticores are mostly seen. You see, it’s rare unless there’s a invasion for other species of monsters to wonder into each others sovereignty. But soon, very soon, this forest will be more lively than ever before. With the lack of prey for the predators, Monsters will be eating one another for survival and greed. One day, a victor will prevail on top but, will end up as the rest. Boo-hoo, sad, init. Oh well, as one wise man said, ‘it is what it is.’

“So, Sarah? What do you think the difference between a rock and a stone is?” I said, filling the awkward lull. The little dark oak pup just looked up with a blank utterance. “Well, my friend. Stone is smaller than rock. To easily sum it up, rock is made out of stone and mineral matter which is a naturally occurring inorganic element or compound having an orderly internal structure and characteristic chemical composition, crystal form, and physical properties.The stone used to make your countertops was cut from rock. Rocks are typically found in the earth's crust.” I said, ranting on as much as I could off the top of my head. I didn’t know what made me pop off like that but, I guess I did waste time. It also made Sarah look more blankly than ever, which was a bonus. Knowing these random facts is an excellent way to start something. It makes me feel good that I know something that no one else knows. Thank you, science. I don’t know how advanced the science in this world is; maybe I could use that to my advantage. Yet again, it wouldn't be much of an advantage when these fuckers have magic and that. Fucking ponies.

“I could do with a spliff.” I mumbled, feeling the craving for the nicotine. “Better get started on making my own before I kill something.” I really considered smoking my last sterling blue ciggy but, I know I will regret it in the long run. I knew I should have bought another pack… Well, I say bought but let’s be honest here, I stole them. It was a easy corner shop; it's like stealing candy from a kid. I looked down at the pup. I wonder if I gave Sarah a ciggy, would it burn her insides? Or would the nicotine do it’s thing and reliefs stress. Hmmm, I can imagine myself socially smoking with a wolf. I’d vibe it.

“I wonder what Equestria would be more like? Britain or America? Fish and chips or chick-fil-a, knife and gun. Or are they more like Germany, where they gas the disabled, prisoners or ponies with different religions. It would be hella more interesting to see a Hitler version of a pony… You know what… That would be fucking sick. Me and Hitler pony would be good mates. I can see it already.” I continued until I heard tearing of crux, approximately 100 meters to my left. With how deep I am into the forest, I think I found my manticore.

Once again, telling Sarah to stay put, I walking through bushes and from trees, not even trying to sneak but to make as much noise as possible. When the manticore came into view, the big guy was already running at me with teeth and long as daggers. The lion/scorpion/bat fuckin thing opened his powerful jaws as I just stood their, hands in pockets and all with a smile.

“Well, come on, then, come and get your meal!” I shouted, opening my arms. With the jaws of death coming at me sideways, my eyes went wide as the razor-sharp teeth punctured my flesh from my right shoulder to my left femur. Blood trickling from every new deep gash. Well, I wanted immortal wounds; now that I've got them, I really fucking regret it. My God, this fucking hurts like a bitch.

“Good- good kitty cat.” I said through sputters of blood rising up my throat. Did he just impale my lung? It’s okay; I've got another one, not that I use it anyway. The damn thing gets in my way anyway. “Thank you for that but, this is where you die now.” I moaned through gritted teeth. All the blood that was shed all slivered into the mouth of the manticore. The manticore trussed me around like a chew toy before launching me against a tree, hearing the sound of snapped wood and the slow timber of a tree starting to collapse. I just sat against the stump as I looked up to the attacking beast. My smile only greatened as I waved my hand, moving the migrated blood in the manticore’s system. When my red blood cell made it into its lung, I clenched my hand into a fist. The manticore’s seemed to topple as it made a tiny trench with its body. Shallow, weak breathes until blood seemed to leak out from in between its teeth, creating a pool of paint by the furred head. With its lung stabbed, the heartbeat finally laid to rest.

“Goodnight.” I said, getting up onto a knee while holding my tremendously deep fissure shoulder, which oozed my tamed blood. Of course, I didn’t alter my blood into my wounds, but I did use it so I wouldn’t lose any more than I should have. My attempt to stand was almost punished as I felt my left leg almost give way from the burning pain, poring fuel for the rest of my wounds. Fucking ow! Out the corner of my eye was the head of a small pup, sniffing and taking into the surrounding area, looking at the signs of struggle. She leaned back into the bush a bit when she saw the slump form of the manticore, but when she saw me in a state I was in, she came running over in front of me as she started to bark at the dead corpse. I chuckled as I spit the blood from my mouth; honestly, what a dumb dog. To add to the entertainment, she actually ran at it, biting at its ear and shaking her head as if she would rip it off. Now that turned my chuckle into more of a laughter. God, this wolf is priceless. I walked over to the pup, which was drawing blood from the beast ear and picked her up to the wolf’s surprise.

“Well, aren’t you my knight in shining armour.” I laughed as I kissed her on the forehead. “Don’'t have to worry; I don't plan on dying just yet.” I said, placing her back on the ground. Right then, let's get this show on the road. Step one completed.

-=-

“Now for step two, walk into ponyville. Easy. Once I collapse, the ponies should take me the their hospital or some shit. I’ll be questioned. Ay yo, Sarah? Fancy tagging along? You can be my trusty companion that lived with me since you were born.” I asked, which made the pup jump around with enthusiasm. “Perfect! Now it’s time to head to ponyville.” I said, limping and arching my back in a pained to at least look like I was in so much pain.

When I said run around Ponyville and screaming for help, I think I over-exaggerated it a bit. I do not have the energy for that shit. Plus, have you ever tried running with a dagger wound in your leg? It fucking sucks cock and balls. My shoulder had been injured too don’t won’t be flailing any of my arms any time soon. God, this would be so much easier if I asked Dryad to fight me instead… Why the fuck didn’t I just do that? Why did I have to go through all that trouble just too fucking realise that I could just take the easy way. God, Ada, you useless bitch! Well, I guess I can’t complain now. I’ve got what I wanted, and now its time for step two.

Stepping out of the trees border, I gazed down upon the edifices of the village. Every single structure seemed to have the same design of colour and materials but in different sizes and shape. They all had that cream render plastered to the walls, cut off by the straight, sideways and diagonal beams of wood. The openable facilities, we’re covered with two shades of pink with love hearts. Aww, how precious. And finally, to finish it off, it’s had a thatched rooftop with a chimney rising from the hay. You know what? The layout and structure of the buildings oddly remind me of classic German buildings they use to use way back when. Haha, you know I was joking when I wondered if this place was more like Germany. Now all I need now is a pony with a Swastika butt tattoo; Then I’ll know where I am and what time I'm in.

I shuffled over the bridge on to the gravily path into the village; I looked around the open area to find no one was out. Not a peep or slight movement was seen with my sharp eyes. It’s almost looked vacated. The only reason I knew that was false was the fact I can hear the heartbeats going crazy. Did they manage to see me come from the Everfree? Maybe. Or is it something else? The village is known for its bad luck of monster attacks and random events like a rabbit army of rabbits going through Ponyville; I must say, the funniest shit I've ever seen. You’d think the Nazis had invaded Poland. Wow, another reference to Germany. Imma about to get gassed in a minute. Anyway, back on topic. What are these shit bags so afraid off?

Not having much of an option, I walked around the block, appearing through windows and knocking on doors to get someone’s attention but, with screams to go away and closing curtains, I was back to square one. Damn, I feel like a nazi looking for Anne Frank… Okay, okay, I get it; I'll stop with the Nazi jokes, Jesus Christ. No sense of humour what so ever. Anyway, with that out my system, I continued my slumped walk around the haunted village until I came around my torn up building that I may have destroyed a bit. There in the open space was a cloaked figure, prodding at the ground with a striped hoof. A striped foot, huh? I only know one person with stripes, and that is...

“Ayo, Zecora! How's it going?” I said, waving my good hand from the shadows of the alleyway. The cloaked mare's head turned to face me and only to stare back with massive, yellow devilish eyes. I smiled at her illusion. “It's been some time, still scaring the shit out of the ponies, I see.” I said, a limp in each step I take as I got closer. The head of the mare shuck her head, and the yellow glow seemed to fade as she walked the rest of the way to me.

“Ah, Ada. It’s so good to see a familiar face; I am well, thank you for the warm embrace.” she spoke in an African like accent, rhyming with ease. I swear, I bet she does that religiously. “As for the fear that the ponies display, it is not my concern they hide themselves like prey.” She chuckled, walking passed me into to shaded alleyway. “Come, it’s been far too long, shall we share tales or maybe even listen to a song?”

“Sounds good, I can't deny a sit-down does sound nice.” I admitted, togging along. We sat in the shadows of the two buildings as we sat on either end, so we were facing one another. “So Zecora, what brings you here today?” I asked, shuffling myself to get a comfy spot on the floor. Damn rocks, always they're poking my ass. Like a pea under a mattress, if you get my meaning.

“My reason for travelling to the village is irrelevant; you are in pain and in need of help, that much is evident.” She remarked as she lifted her hood to revile more of her stripes alongside her golden rings and frown.

“Your concern is appreciated but, you don’t need to worry about me. This is apart of my plan, you see.” I smiled, giving a rhyme a go to the zebra's amusement.

“I see your humour hasn’t changed the last time we met, now let’s discuss the plan while you smoke your cigarette.” She smirked as I laughed at her rhyming.

“You're too good, Zecora, I swear, if you were a rapper back in my world, you would be a huge hit, not just because your a walking-talking zebra but, I think you would be spitting mad bars.” I sighed from the relief of laughter, lifting my very own hood to meet her own eyes. “So, the plan, you want in?” I asked.

“It would be my pleasure to help an old friend of mine, but, if it includes the ponies, I must decline.” She crossed her hooves to her disapproval.

“I know how much you dislike the ponies as the next zebra but, what if I told you it was despite them.” I said, crossing my own arms with a smirk. Now that caught Zecora’s attention. Before she could respond, a low, young howl was heard from outside the alleyway, and Sarah was looking around frantically. I facepalmed. I completely forgot that she was with me and probably wondered off again. God, I’m such a shit owner. I sighed before I whistled, catching the attention of the pup who saw us. With her tail wagging and smile plastered on her face, she ran towards me with her tongue dangling out. “Oh, don't you fucking dare!” I warned, raising my hand in defence but, it was ultimately useless as the wolf dived for me and started licking the soul out of me. I heard the fits of laughter coming from the striped mare.

“Oh, your little friend is a vicious one. May I suggest that you get up and run.” She said, calming her laughter with a gesture of her hoof. I gave her a deadpan expression as I gave her the birdy, which only gave her a smirk.

“Glad to see you're having fun over there.” I said before pushing the damn wolf off me. Little bitch. “So, are you in or not? I could do with a helping hand.” I said as I leaned up, brushing the dirt off my clothes.

“Please, explain your plan, if it is despite of the ponies, I may be a fan.” She said with interest with a smile that only meant no good. Before I started my masterplan, Sarah being Sarah jumped onto my lap and curled up, awaking my pain. I paid no mind to it, though.

“Well, let's start by saying that I eat meat, and so does my pack.” I started, my grin growing ever so slowly. “The wolves and every other monsters that live in the Everfree forest have been struggling hunting down prey. All the animals have just suddenly vanished, Gone without a trace. I don’t know if we’ve just fucking eaten every single animal in that forest, or they are good at fucking hiding.” I said, my hand rubbing my chin.

“I have noticed the disappearance of the little critters, that is quite true. One day they were present and the next gone into the blue. What are you suggesting?” She inquired.

“I'm suggesting that we use ponies as our food supply.” I said simply. Zecora’s eyes widen at my answer but, didn’t seem to disagree with my statement.

“I see… I do say that I wish nothing but the worst for the ponies, but, how do you do that without raising any question by any means.” She asked, pointing out the obvious.

“Of course, they raise questions; ponies will be missing left, right and centre, but at the weakened state, that's when our pack take it from there. We take as many ponies as we can, and we eat them. Easy.”

“Okay, Ada. I’m in; where do I start in this great sin?” She said, determined to get started.

“I'll let you know in due time; for now, this talk never happened.” I said, rising from the ground as Sarah hopped off my lap..

“Very well, Ada. It has been a pleasure as always; I’ll wish you good luck in your innocent portrays.” She said, dismissing herself as she raised her hood. I laughed. Aye, I’ll bloody need it if I’m going to start building trust with the ponies. That being said, I better get moving before someone get suspicious of my involvement. Well, I think it’s time to play unconscious for a bit.

Walking from the alleyway, I could see that ponies frequently looked around in a scan for the cloaked mare. Mostly, the colourful bunch in the recked candy store. Well, here comes my top tier acting.

Scrapping my leg across the floor as I struggle to walk, I held my shoulder as I had my head low as I panted heavily. I gave pained moans with each step I took. I finally collapsed in the middle of the street on my hand and knees. Gasps of mostly female ponies were head in front of me. I looked up to see a pink, yellow, white, purple, orange; cyan ponies come trotting towards me. I finally let my body fall as I go into unconsciousness.

-=-

I finally awoke, my eyes fluttering open as I tried to focus on the blur. I had a headache, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where I was. I looked up at the white ceiling that didn’t help with my answer what so ever. Fuck sake, why is it so bright? Someone turn off the fucking light, God damn. I turned over on my side to get a bit more comfy but, the whole body said, suck a fat knob, and pain rushed through my entire body, making me growl.

“Fuckin, you fuckin, ow! Son of a bitch!” I spasmed onto my back again, which didn't help since I felt my front and back was on fire. It only came to me then that I was in a scrap with a manticore, and that’s how I felt like I was run over by a train. fuck sake.

Slowly calming down from the pain, I leaned up to see I was still in my clothes; thank God, and I wasn’t treated. Hmmm, I guess you can’t treat a patient that hasn’t got their clothes off. I also spotted Sarah at the end of my bed, her chin chilling on my leg, snoozing softly. Fucking cute thing it is. I shuck my foot which resulted in her red ruby, glowing eyes to faze in. She made a wide yawn before using her paw to scratch her nose a couple of times. Like I said, cute fucker.

“Hello, girl. Had a nice kip, did ya?” I said, stretching my arms out wide. The only response I got was lazy bark as she crawled her way up my chest, right in between my tits. “You know, if it were anyone else resting where you are, I would have killed the motherfucker.” I smirked as I scratched her ear softly, which Sarah gave a gentle coo, sending her off back to sleep. I stroked her back softly as I could as I felt her chest rise and fall on my chest.

Suddenly, I spotted the door slightly open to see a pure white pony with pink hair to appear from around the door. She looked left to right before setting her eyes on mine. Her eyes widened for a second before she walked in fully. She stopped momentarily when she spotted Sarah but, gestured her to come closer, which she did manage to comply with hesitation first. With her eyes never leaving mine, she sat on the chair beside me.

“Am I correct when I say you can understand me, Miss?” she asked, unsure if that was the right words to use to greet a new creature like me. Oh boy, here we go. Trying to be nice is like watching Amy Schumer try and be funny in a movie. Me and being nice just don’t mix; why am I doing this? Fuck sake. With that being said, I’m pissed off now for the fact that I have to be nice to this fuck.

“Yes, I can understand you perfectly, love.” I said, my eye twitching as I tried to hold a cheerful smile. God, I’m so disgusted with myself that it emotionally hurts. Fuck you, pony! Fuck you and your friendliness. FUCK! Her eyes brighten when she saw my smile and matched mine with her very own.

“Excellent! That’s good news.” She said, her fear slowly melting away. “It is good to see you up and looking well; you looked to be in a bad way when you wondered into Ponyville, miss…”

“Call me Ada.” I interrupted before she could continue. Can’t stand being called Miss or Mrs.

“My apologies, miss Ada. I guess I should have asked for your name first, shouldn't I.” she said, Smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of her head. Fucking call me miss again, I fucking dare you, cracker.

“Ada will be fine; no need for pointless titles like miss or Mrs.”, I chuckled. She chuckled with me.

“Ah, your right; my apologies again.” Fucking apologise again, just do it. I’ll fucking snap that pretty little neck of yours. I want you to. “By any chance, do you remember what happened to you? I couldn’t get a good look at your wounds because of your clothing; we were about to take them off to treat your injuries but, thanks to your little friend there, we couldn’t get anywhere near your wounds.” she murmured, cringing at the wolf with a hint of fear the sleeping form. Fucking good girl, I hope she bit someone.

“Im terribly sorry for that; she is very protective as a timber wolf pup is.” I chuckled. “As for what happened to me, I don’t remember much at all. All I know was that I was terrified for my life. All I did was just run as fast as I could with Sarah here.” I said, stroking Sarah’s with a dull expression.

“Was something chasing you?” she asked, leaning forward.

“Im not sure;, I think so; it was big and had massive claws like...” I looked up with wide eyes and shock. “...a manticore!” a shouted, making Sarah head to peak up in alarm of the beast's name and met eyes with the nurse. I tugged on to Sarah as she went to jump for the pony, who quickly jumped from her seat, sending the chair to topple. I wonder what would happen if I accidentally just…

Weakening my grip on Sarah, the wolf had little problem of escaping my grasp and went on a wild chase for her meal, barking and snarling as the mare did almost everything to get away from her fangs. Jumping from bed to bed, using her magic to block her path. Even climbing onto of a cabinet which immediately just collapsed from her weight. It was too much, I couldn’t help myself but laugh my fucking ass off. It was one of them where you feel a knot in your stomach and where you produce a silent laugh that takes your breath away. I couldn’t hold it in. I can’t stop. I banged my good fist against the mattress as I tried to find my breath. My laughter continued when I saw that Sarah had her jaws around her tail, her rear on the floor with the rest of her legs as the mare continued galloping wildly, flinging Sarah everywhere. Oh, I fucking lost it then, I gave up holding it back and just let the madness engulf me. Fuck the plan, I could fuck with these ponies all-day.

Abruptly, the door slammed opened almost off its hinges as fairly built ponies with identical golden armour came with swords holstered by the sides. Well, fuck. I whistled, making Sarah turn her head and to me.

“Come here, girl.” I said, patting my blanket on top of me. Without a second thought, she, hopped, skipped and jumped onto my lap. “Good girl.”

“Miss Red Heart? Are you okay?” one of the guards ran towards the pony as the other displayed his sword. Sarah growled as I held her in my arm as I stared back with a frown.

“Yes, I’m okay. Just a bit of strand of hair out my tail is all.” she chuckled nervously as she did a once over for her tail.

“I told you that the wolf should have been put down! It was biting and scratching before we could get the thing in here.” A male pony raises his voice at the other guard, who just rolled her eyes. Wait… Did he just… No… I must of misunderstood him. Did he just call me an ‘thing’? Motherfucker, imma smack the bitch in a minute and shit out his remains.

“Excuse me? That ‘thing’ your talking about can fucking hear you, you dumb nimrod, you fucking beaner piece of shit, wrap your dick in a quesadilla and SUCK! MY FUCKING! CLIT!” I shouted with each syllable. His eyes widened at my outburst, and were at a loss of word as his mouth didn't know what it was doing. However, a snorted came from the other guards-mare as she places her hoof over her mouth. I couldn’t help but snort myself; where the fuck did that come from?

“Uhh, well, I must apologise for my rudeness. Cherry Hill, I trust that you have this under control.” He said, heading towards the door at a fast pace.

“Yes, Sargent.” she giggled as he left the room. Red Heart stared at me in awe as a glint appeared in her eye.

“Awesome.” She whispered under her breath. Before anything else could happen, the door once again opened up to see a group confused looking mares who looked back.

“Well, that was quite odd. I wonder what got him in such a hurry.” A angel white-furred pony said with such a feminine tone that I mistook it for a noble, but then, I realised where we are in Ponyville, not some posh looking kingdom. Unless It was that bitch from that clothing shop where I nicked all her shampoo and that. God fucking damn, just my luck.

“Erm, maybe something terrible has happened again, oh, I really hope not.” A timid yellow pegasus squeaked from the group, hiding from behind her hair. Ugh, the shyness dripping from her body language and tone drips her kindness. Suppose she was magically transported to my world. She wouldn't last a week in secondary school, never mind in the ends.

“I hope so too, Fluttershy; so much has happened today; the last thing we need is more varmints running around.” A western accented, orange cowgirl said, adjusting her hat on her tied up blonde hair. What the fuck? Did I just go back in time to the wild fucking west? What the fuck just happened? It just went from a British posh bitch to a scruffy ass cowgirl. Did these girls just got transported like me or what?

“Yeah, I still can’t believe what happened to that kid. I swear, if I ever get my hooves on that pony, he’ll be in a world of hurt.” Another pegasus flew in, the cyan, rainbow hair said looking pissed. There is no way that’s her real hair. That has to be dyed. I refuse to believe this jockey of a bitch has hair of the fucking rainbow. Well, I already have a name and catchphrase for her. Taste the rainbow motherfucker!

“It is cruel what happened to him; no need to worry. Justice will be served once the royal guards find the culprit.” I recoiled at the familiar voice. No way the same damn pony from before. The purple unicorn? God fucking damn it. One of the ponies that have wanted to avoid is right here. Great, why don’t you bring along the pink pony while you're at it then.

“Yeah, then I’ll throw a super, duper, massive party to get every pony smiling again.” oh fuck. Oh, hell no. Fuck me! What the fuck is she doing here! The pink pony bounced in, confetti exploding out the door as she entered. The pink pony was the first to see that I was awake. Her smile only grew. Of all the fucking ponies, it just had to be you didn’t it Pink pony. Fuck.

“Oh my gosh! She’s awake! She’s awake!” the pink pony fucking bounced over with that massive smile she wears. “Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie!”