The Mysterious Book

by Late Empire

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Fallout
Length: 3456

Things are going pretty well at the Ponyville Library! Princess Celestia is even stopping by for tea. There's just the small problem of a dangerous magical book to deal with first.

Things are going pretty well at the Ponyville Library! Apart from a mild case of woodworm, and the occasional visit from a tree surgeon, Twilight has everything under control.

Princess Celestia is even stopping by for tea this afternoon, which certainly isn't a kind of exam, definitely not requiring frantic preparation.

There's just a dangerous magical book to deal with first.

(Note: detailed knowledge of Fallout/Fo:E is not required to enjoy this story. It probably helps, though.)

This is a sort-of-prequel to Twilight vs. the Wasteland.

Published 2021-01-24 23:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-01-29 01:30:44 UTC

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Delivery

It was half past seven in the morning, and Twilight Sparkle was already out of bed.

She narrowed her eyes in concentration. The leaves of the library tree rustled gently in the early-morning breeze, mixing with the steady ticking of her grandfather clock. Dusty rays of sunlight filtered in through the window, playing across the usual book piles, rolls of parchment, and used quills that covered Twilight’s desk. From beneath an enormous serving tray, whose contents she was inspecting, came the woodenly musical sound of creaking knees.

“I think the gold ones are nice...”

“Shh! Quiet, Spike. Don’t interrupt.”

Gold, silver, or plain porcelain? Gold matches Celestia’s aura, but is it too gaudy? Luna might be upset if I used silver without inviting her...

Silence returned. After a few minutes, the tray wobbled slightly.

“This thing is really heavy. Can you just pick one? I know it’s important, but does it really matter which...”

“Of course it matters, Spike! Princess Celestia coming for tea isn’t just about tea. I’ve been in Ponyville two years now, and trust me, this is practically an exam. Everything has to be perfect!”

“They’re napkin rings, Twilight. Does the Princess even use those?”

“Of course she does! What civilized pony doesn’t use napkins!”

“That’s not what I... ow.” Spike gave up and and put the tray down, massaging his back. “Actually, if the Princess spilled something, couldn’t she just blast it with her magic?”

Twilight gave him a hard look. It didn’t work. He was used to that, and looked right back. “Gold it is, then. I’ll get started on the table setting.”

“Thanks, Spike,” sighed Twilight. “And sorry. I just really want this to go well. We only have another eight hours to prepare!”

The Ponyville Library had never looked so neat and tidy. Books were lined up perfectly straight, spines exactly two inches from the edge of each shelf. The card catalog had been indexed by topic, on the off chance the Princess wanted to read a book on Fishing or Pottery during her visit, and then re-indexed alphabetically in case she preferred something by a particular author instead.

Every flat surface had been had been dusted to within an inch of its life, and then for good measure, dusted again; the living wood of the reading room practically glowed under three coats of Bark Brothers’ Beautiful Tree Treatment. Occasional library patrons were encouraged, in various ways, not to linger.

Twilight was just finishing up in the kitchen, trying to figure out the most casual-looking arrangement for a cookbook and tea-towel on the counter, when Spike called out to her.

“Hey, I got the pastries and stuff all laid out. But did you want the good tea service or the extra-good one?”

“The one from the top of the cabinet, Spike,” she said, poking her head back into the dining nook. “The one Shining gave me after I moved to Ponyville.”

He reached for the stepstool, but the gleaming silver tea service floated down from the china cabinet and onto the table, riding a cloud of purple magic. Twilight stepped into the room and looked more closely. The tea-tray took place of pride at the center of the table, surrounded by a slightly-excessive collection of muffins, rolls, pastries, crackers, tea-cakes, biscuits, cheese cubes, milk chocolates, dark chocolates, white chocolates, and miniature sandwiches. Along with a stack of tiny plates, and an arsenal of dessert-related silverware. And napkins, of course, carefully rolled and gold-ringed.

She circled the table three times, poking at a muffin here, realigning a teacup there. Batting at the lacy white tablecloth, she frowned. “Hmmm.... this looks a little bunched up. Can we try again with the silk one?”

He explained why that wasn’t possible.

“Spike! That really isn’t appropriate language for a baby dragon. Anyway, I guess it’ll be OK.”

He nodded curtly. Twilight groaned and rested her head on the tablecloth, being careful not to crease it. “I mean, thank you, Spike. Again. You did a great job. I’m just being a crazy pony.”

Spike grinned, sampling a suspiciously gem-like hard candy. “Don’t mention it. Can I go to the comic book store now?”

“Of course,” said Twilight, looking up. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay? I’m sure the Princess would love to see you again. And you’ve been a great help with my weekly reports.”

“Nah, that’s OK. I’ll catch up with the Power Ponies, and you two can sip tea and have long boring discussions about magic and friendship.” Spike made a face. “Blarg.”

“Blarg? What exactly do you find blarg about friendship, Spike?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by the tinkling of the front-door bell. Applejack and Rarity stepped in, looking around appreciatively.

“Girls!” said Twilight, beaming. “I wasn’t expecting you!”

“Just thought we’d stop by and see if you needed any help,” said Applejack, tilting her hat. “Before your big event, that is. I guess not, though. Gosh, this place sure does clean up nice.”

“And such an impressive setting for tea!” Rarity said, admiring the table. She pursed her lips. “You are, ah, sure about the gold for those rings?”

“I can change it to silver! I just need to write a letter to Princess Luna!”

“No, no, dear,” Rarity replied, tossing her mane. “I’m sure it will be lovely. In any case, wonderful preparation! Not many ponies even own a proper set of dessert flatware. Although the strudel spear really should go to the left of the flan mallet, I believe. According to Canterlot rules, that is.”

Thankfully for Twilight’s silverware collection, the mail slot in the front door chose that moment to go flop. Spike picked up the pile from the welcome mat and poked through it. “Hey Twilight, you got another delivery from Creased Page.” He waved a book-shaped package, wrapped in brown paper and twine, and set it on the table with the rest of the mail.

Twilight clapped her front hooves together. “Wonderful! That’ll be the new Daring Do. And right on time, too; Rainbow’s been bugging me all week.”

“Actually, looks like we got two packages from Creased. Huh. This one’s weird, though.”

Twilight’s ears perked up, and she trotted over. “Weird? You mean damaged?”

“No, it’s... well, here it is.” Spike held out the second package, and Twilight took it in her magic.

The weird package was about the same size as the first, maybe slightly slimmer. Sure enough, the label on the front had Creased Page’s crossed-quills logo, and the library address in neat hornwriting. But that was where the similarities ended. Instead of brown paper, this package was wrapped in glimmering iridescent material, which sparkled in the sunlight from the window.

The wrapping was clearly magical, and had an odd sense of depth; motes of power flashed and glowed below the surface as Twilight tilted it back and forth. It was like looking into a fire opal. And instead of twine, it was sealed by a silver clasp, with an oddly intricate design. After a moment, she recognized it as a binding rune.

Twilight grinned broadly, bouncing in place. “YES! Yes yes yes! I don't believe it!”

“A little light reading?” chuckled Applejack, peering over for a better look. “I’m assuming there is actually a book in there, right? Not just a big pile of magic.”

“Sorry,” said Twilight, blushing. “Yes, it’s a book, but... well, it’s hard to explain. It’s kind of a mystery.”

“I do enjoy a good mystery,” said Rarity. “But I get the feeling you don’t mean a Dixon Hoof novel.”

“No, sorry, I mean mysterious. And magical, supposedly. Somehow. Creased Page is probably the only book dealer in all of Equestria who could track down a copy.” She waggled her eyebrows conspiratorially. “They say the author was from another dimension.”

Neither Applejack nor Rarity knew quite how to respond to that, so they both settled for “Hmmmm.”

“It’s been months! And I finally get to...”

The bell tinkled again, very briefly, as the door flew all the way open and bounced off the wall. A blue-and-rainbow blur entered. “Is it here? Is it here is it here is it here is it here?”

“Rainbow!” shouted Twilight. “Easy on the hardware!”

Rainbow Dash didn’t even have the decency to stop grinning, as she hovered unreasonably close to Twilight’s nose. Her saddlebags bulged, promising defiance of the library rules on snacks in the reading areas. “Is. It. Here?”

Twilight kept her frown up as long as possible, before she had to give in and return the grin. “On the table.”

The package on the table disappeared, replaced by a rainbow trail which led towards the Main Reading Room. Bits of torn brown wrapping paper drifted to the floor in its wake. Twilight sighed and levitated them into a nearby trash can.

In the meantime, Rarity had picked up the mysterious book, and was turning it over and over in her magic, admiring its flashing in the sunlight. “Really quite extrordinary! So beautiful. What’s this delightful pattern in silver on the front?”

Twilight smiled even wider. “It’s a magical containment rune! Class four, I think.”

Rarity froze. “Twilight, darling.”

“Yes?”

“This package. Which you have just received in the regular mail. From that insane book dealer friend of yours. And which I am now holding, less than a foot from my face.”

“What about it?”

“Is it, in fact, a horribly dangerous book?”

Twilight frowned. “Why do ponies keep saying that? Books aren’t dangerous.”

Rarity relaxed. “I apologize. I suppose he’s just being extra safe, with the rune?”

“Oh, not at all. The magic contained in the book is probably very dangerous.”

Rarity gave up, levitating it over to Twilight and backing away. “Sounds most interesting, dear.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Again, it’s contained. With what looks like three layers of magical shielding, plus a rune that keeps it from being breached by mistake. And I have all the equipment needed to safely open it, in the lab downstairs. The danger isn’t the point. Think of the possibilities!”

She looked at the clock. “Speaking of which, the Princess won’t be here for another, uh, six hours or so. Would you two be interested? If I can find the right translation spell, we might be the first ponies in Equestria to read the story inside!”

Twilight had never looked so eager, practically vibrating in place. Applejack and Rarity shared a look.

“Reckon I really should be getting back to the farm.”

“Big order this week, darling.”

“Yeah the, uh, lima bean harvest is coming up.”

“Custom duck shoes for Fluttershy. Lots of waterproofing.”

Twilight’s brilliant smile dropped slightly. “Oh, that’s OK, I guess. I just thought...” There was an uncomfortable silence.

Professionally speaking, Rarity was used to that. Silence can be an important part of the sales process, after all. The trick is not to fold... just politely wait a bit, and the customer gets the message. Unfortunately, Applejack was a different kind of salespony, and gave in almost immediately.

“It will be safe, right? I’m not going back to the farm with six legs and two noses?”

Twilight nodded vigorously. “I have the very latest in literary safety spells!”

“Oh, what the hay. Let’s do it. It actually sounds kind of fun.”

“Yes,” said Rarity, smiling tightly. “Fun. Let’s all have fun opening the dangerous magical book together.”

Twilight bounced again, and trotted off towards the basement door. “Good luck,” whispered Spike, choosing that moment to make his exit.

Rarity and Applejack followed Twilight, keeping their distance from her and the book. “Should we invite Rainbow Dash?” asked Rarity.

“Yep, I’ll ask. Bet she can’t tear herself away from Daring Do, though.”

Applejack stuck her head into the main reading room as they passed. Sure enough, Rainbow Dash lay sprawled on the window seat of the Ponyville Library Book Nook, surrounded by candy wrappers and a small forest of Blueberry Blast! soda cans. She turned a page with her nose, reading intently.

“Dash, Twilight’s gonna show us a mystery book. I mean a mysterious book. You interested?” Dash grunted and flipped her wings in an irritated way. Applejack chuckled. “Suit yourself. Now listen, if you hear screaming from downstairs, y’all have to come rescue us, OK?”

Twilight rolled her eyes again as she opened the basement door. “Reading is a very safe activity! Safer than crossing the street. And Rainbow, please clean up a little. Princess Celestia will be here in a few hours.”

Chapter 2: Library Will Not Be Liable For Reading-Related Injuries

The basement laboratory was pleasantly cool. Twilight placed the book on a workbench, and carefully rolled back the rug covering a large portion of the floor.

“Now, safety first,” she said, digging in a drawer for a piece of chalk. “Magic books can be unpredictable. So, whatever’s in there, we have to bind it to prevent any leakage.”

Applejack and Rarity looked at each other. The basement seemed to be getting chillier. “Leakage?” asked Applejack carefully.

“Stray magic,” said Twilight in a distracted way, floating a half-dozen heavy-looking books in front of her. “We don’t want to melt the building or turn ourselves into fruit bats. Now, what we need is a good solid binding spell. I haven’t actually... Ah! Here we go.”

Most of the floating volumes returned to the shelves, leaving behind a surprisingly new-looking spell book. Quick Spells For The Busy Book Enthusiast thumped down on a carved wooden lectern, as Twilight flipped quickly to the correct page. “You know, I just got this last week. Good timing!”

Chalk flew as Twilight concentrated on the instructions. Every now and then she paused, scraped out a mistake and then carried on. Slowly, an intricate circular pattern took shape on the basement floor.

“Why, it looks positively bold!” exclaimed Rarity. “With a very interesting and, um, odd screw-like motif. Although you are the expert, of course.”

“Kinda looks like a cider press,” said Applejack, tilting her head to view the circle better. “Maybe whoever wrote the spell was drunk.”

“Well, most ponies who research binding magic are crazy,” said Twilight, with a dismissive flip of her hoof. “They spend half their time being attacked by escaped eldritch beings.” Rarity gulped, as quietly as possible. “When you say eldritch, dear, what exactly... I mean, how many teeth...”

“Done!” Twilight exclaimed, dropping the chalk back onto her workbench. With an eager smile she lifted the wrapped book and placed it in the exact center of the circle. Everypony held their breath. After a moment, Twilight frowned and poked the book experimentally with a hoof.

Nothing seemed to be happening.

“Is, uh, is something wrong?” asked Applejack. Twilight looked down at the book with a puzzled expression. “Well, normally when an object is placed in a binding circle, the runes light up. I mean, not always, but...” Her horn glowed as she bumped the book up and down a few times, as if hoping it would trigger something. “I’m sure it’s fine. Probably the book just needs to be unwrapped before the circle will engage.”

Rarity was learning back as far as possible without falling over. “Darling, are you absolutely sure this is the right circle?”

Twilight gave her a hurt look. “Rarity, this reference book was a gift from Princess Celestia! And it says this spell is specifically approved for library use! Here, take a look for yourself.” Twilight levitated Quick Spells off its stand and passed it to her.

”Clover’s Circle of Stout Binding,” Rarity read aloud, as Twilight delicately began to unwrap the book. The silver clasp made a quiet “pling” sound as she cast it aside, and began opening the inner set of wards.

”This spell allows high-quality and stable binding of any magical text, with the exception of certain dragon-authored works whose covers are made of stone.”

Another “pling” as an inner layer of wrapping, rich with gemstones, joined the previous one on the floor. The outline of the mysterious book was becoming clearer.

”It is guaranteed to produce an absolutely reliable result, even for softcovers in lending-library circulation, provided an approved glue is used and the finished bound book is not overly abused by patrons...”

Rarity dropped the spell book, looking frantic. “Twilight, STOP!”

But it was too late. The final layer of wrapping came off. Startled by Rarity’s shout, Twilight dropped the now-exposed book into the circle, where it landed with a hollow-sounding thud. The cover came open, and Twilight stared blankly down at the title page.

It was Daring Do And The Temple Of The Sea Ponies.

The room was silent for a moment.

“No,” said Twilight, pointing an accusing hoof down at the book. A few strands of hair popped loose from her mane. “No, this isn’t possible. You aren’t possible.” Her horn glowed as she turned to a random page.

... skidded to a halt behind the castle walls, the coral creatures’ unearthly shrieks echoing in her ears. Daring’s heart pounded in terror. They had been ponies once...

“No, no, no!” The pages flipped again.

”... with shellfish!” smirked the Crown Princess, twirling the keys just out of reach. “You, and your friends, will find that the waters of the deep ocean can be dangerously hot...”

Twilight’s horn went out, and the pages lay still. Her mind raced, trying desperately to avoid the obvious, inevitable conclusion.

Silently, she turned and looked up the staircase, towards the closed basement door.

Rainbow Dash wasn’t reading.

Or rather, despite the enormous size of the book in her hooves, and the fact that barely twenty minutes had gone by, she had somehow finished reading. The book lay open to the last page, flyleaf wavering gently in the still air of the library. She gazed vacantly into the middle distance, with a mute, horrified expression.

Twilight crept forward. “Dash, what book do you have there?” Applejack waited, nervously, at her side. Rarity waited, more nervously, from slightly behind them.

Rainbow Dash stared unblinkingly at Twilight. “...,” she explained.

Maybe it isn’t, thought Twilight desperately. Maybe Creased Page didn’t really mix them up before mailing them. Maybe there were two copies of the same book, and she read it really fast, and the Sea Ponies were just unexpectedly scary...

She gently closed the cover of Dash’s book, and winced at the savage-looking alien letters on the spine.

“No no no no no no no!” Twilight trotted frantically in place, before rushing over a nearby bookshelf. “How could I have let this happen?”

“Let what happen?” asked Applejack, waving a hoof ineffectively in front of Dash’s face. Finally she just grabbed her friend’s shoulders and shook her vigorously. “Dash!”

Dash continued her staring, mane flying and head flopping loosely. The Blueberry Blast! pile fell over with a metallic crash, soda cans rolling off in every direction. “She’s stuck or something! What is this!”

“I don’t know!” cried Twilight, now just pulling books off the shelves, levitating some and piling others in an enormous heap. “She doesn’t have a binding circle! It could do anything!”

“What do you mean, anything? It’s a book! Somepony sat down and wrote...”

“Not a pony,” Twilight corrected, frantically wrenching open the card catalog and ejecting the contents. “Felis sapiens.”

“Felix who? You’re saying she’s stuck like this because... because the magic in there...” Applejack trailed off, crouched in the index-card snowstorm, holding Dash’s head in her hooves like she was afraid it might collapse.

“Twilight?” asked Rarity, softly. “Exactly what kind of things are supposed to be in this story?”

Twilight froze, looking at them nervously. A chaotic constellation of books and index cards, along with a few stray pieces of library shelving, hung motionless in the air while she tried to think what to say.

“... bad things,” she whispered.

Rainbow Dash made a noise.

Twilight turned around so fast she nearly fell over. Rarity surveyed the scene from a nearby end table, swiftly redecorating the floor around it with a shattered-lamp motif. Even Applejack took a step back, giving her friend some space.

“Dash? You, uh, feeling alright?”

Dash appeared to be trying to speak. Her mouth worked soundlessly, muzzle scrunching up. She drew breath.

“Ahhhhh......”

“Dash?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....”

Applejack looked helplessly at Twilight. “Is she broken?”

“Ahhhhhhhh.... CHOO!”

The sneeze was thunderous; Twilight and Applejack jumped back, and Rarity’s table wobbled dangerously. Before Twilight could answer, the room lit up with a blinding flash of magical light, along with a tremendous champagne-cork POP! that shook the library to its foundations. There was an overwhelming sensation of blueberries.

On Rainbow Dash’s right foreleg, just above her hoof, a strange device had appeared.