Tsundere Travels

Ember and Limestone Pie found themselves spinning around inside a swirling kaleidoscope of color and light. They went around and around the kaleidoscope, their bodies stretching longer and longer as they fell faster and faster. The light got so bright they had to squeeze their eyes shut - and suddenly, they stopped spinning. Despite some dizziness, the world felt normal again and their respective feet and hooves were on solid ground. Both females rubbed their eyes, then opened them.

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!

The monster in front of them screeched in rage! Its bright, featureless eyes angrily flickered bright light on their faces. It’s silver flesh had a metallic sheen to it, and hot air from its mouth blew across their muzzles! It screamed at them twice more, while they cowered in fear at its feet.

“Hey! Get the heck out of the road!”

The metal monstrosity screamed at them twice more.

“Move it!”

Another scream.

“Fine!”

A metallic creak came from Ember’s right, then footsteps. Out of nowhere, something kicked the dragoness in the shoulder and knocked her to the ground.

“Get up, you idiot! Are you trying to get run over or something?”

Ember looked up at her assailant, and saw...a minotaur. Kinda. But it had no snout, and no horns. And no fur, except on top of its head. Its body was covered in some sort of fancy gray clothing, and it looked really mad.

“I said, get up! You’re blocking my car!”

“Car…? Cart?”

Just then, the creature noticed Limestone Pie lying cowering on the ground behind Ember.

“What, you brought your DOG on to the freeway too?”

The creature’s words snapped Limestone out of her frightened stupor.

‘Dog? I’m not a DOG?!’

The rock farmer sat up on the warm ground, then gave the creature a nasty look. But he missed it as he had turned his attention back to the dragoness.

Speaking of Ember, she had had a sudden realization. This wasn’t a monster ready to eat her, but a strange cart driven by this strange creature. And he dared to threaten her!

“How DARE you?!”

Ember clambored to her feet, and discovered that the creature was only a head taller than her. She brandished her clawed hands in a threatening manner, and yelled back at the creature.

“Don’t you know who I am? I’m the DRAGON LORD! How DARE you try to run over the Dragon Lord with your cart!”

The creature suddenly realized he had made a very bad mistake. Instead of a suicidal homeless man like he thought, the thing in front of his car was some sort of talking animal that was threatening him with his claws.

“O-kay, okay. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. You do whatever you want. Just don’t hurt my car.”

“Your cart? Don’t hurt your cart? I won’t hurt it, I’ll DESTROY it!”

As her temper burned in a hot rage, Ember turned to the compact sedan and dug her claws into the metal hood. With a rip and a yank, her dragon strength tore the hood right off its hinges! The Dragon Lord hefted the metal slab into the air and roared as mightily as her svelte frame would allow. Her anger not yet sated, she threw the metal hood to her right and over the median with all of her might. Almost instantly, the dragoness heard a crash of metal-on-metal, and more monstrous screaming. The scream was followed by a loud screeching, along with another crash. A cascade of screaming and crashes followed after. The inhuman screams brought a maniacal grin to Ember’s muzzle.

The dragoness gleefully turned to her right to see the carnage, but was shocked by what she saw. There were dozens of these metal carts, sitting five rows deep. They were all different sizes and shapes and colors. Every one she saw was driven by the same kind of creature, and all of them were mad. Some of the carts had smashed into the back of the cart in front of them, and steam was coming out of the broken parts. Horns blared from all over, and she suddenly realized that the monstrous screeching she was hearing were ordinary horns.

The ground under the carts was not dirt or gravel, but some sort of dark flat rock. She briefly wondered if it was some sort of obsidian. There were white lines across the dark ground, and all the carts she saw sat between the lines. Beyond the rows of cars was a grassy hill that stretched upwards. She could see a bridge off to her right.

Just as Ember tore the hood off of the car, Limestone had had the same realization as the Dragon Lord - this was no monster, but a cart driven by the creature! Her embarrassment at being fooled fueled her anger, and she turned to buck the cart as hard as she could! The car’s bumper crumpled under her hooves, and with a muffled ‘poof’ the car’s airbags deployed. The man screamed as his precious car was being destroyed in front of him! In a blind panic, he ran back to the driver’s door and jumped inside. The car’s door slammed shut and an audible click was heard as the driver put the car in gear. The damaged vehicle quickly backed up several feet and bumped into the car behind it. The driver wrenched the steering wheel to the right and floored the accelerator, cutting off the car in the slow-moving lane next to him. This action exposed Ember and Limestone to the nearby drivers and the rest of the freeway traffic.

The driver that got cut off slammed on the brakes, then honked her horn in outrage. She looked to her left to see why the driver cut her off, and saw Ember and Limestone. And stared. More car horns honked, until they saw the Equestrians. And those drivers stared as well. All the staring made Limestone feel really nervous, like she was being watched by a pack of Timberwolves.

One by one, the drivers rolled down their windows or got out of their cars to look at Limestone and Ember. Many of them held up these weird rectangles in front of their face. The flashing lights from the cell phones pushed a nervous Limestone back over the edge.

“STOP IT! JUST STOP IT!!”

Limestone ran up to the nearest car, and bucked her hooves into the front fender. Her muscular legs crumpled the thin metal, and shoved the front of the car over a few feet. The driver screamed and slammed on the gas. Her damaged car screeched forward and out of sight.

Limestone ran into the space left by the car, and planted her hooves aggressively on the concrete. She was so angry, she was literally frothing at the mouth as she screamed at the top of her lungs!

“WHO WANTS SOME?!”

Ember turned back from the other side of the freeway just in time to see Limestone kick the car, then threaten the rubbernecking drivers. She incorrectly assumed the creatures had attacked the pony, and the dragoness was ready and willing to defend her. Her hot rage flared up again, and she screamed a battle cry as she ran towards the cars.

Ember ran past the pony and at a driver standing outside of her car with the door open. The raging dragoness sliced the side view mirror off the car door in one swipe! The Dragon Lord’s attack sparked Limestone into action. She ran to another car on her right and smashed its headlights with her hooves! The driver Ember threatened screamed and got back in her car, while the Dragon Lord’s claws scraped over the door glass. Limestone turned to her left and kicked the rear quarter panel as the driver roared off, hoping to escape the rampaging duo.

Once they realized they were in danger, the other drivers got back into their vehicles and tried to drive off. But neither Ember nor Limestone were that forgiving. They chased and kicked and slashed anything that passed by them, causing a lot of damage and destruction. Their damage spree quickly came to a sudden end when Ember slashed a car tire as it went by. The immediate decompression violently slammed the dragon into the car behind her, which sat in the carpool lane. The momentum crumpled the passenger door and pushed the car into the concrete median. As the vehicle was only going a few miles per hour, the impact brought it to a sudden stop.

The car with a very flat tire kept driving away. Limestone turned and bucked the car that the Dragon Lord had crashed into.

“Take that, you mother-bucker!”

The world swum around Ember. It took more than that to hurt a dragon, but the impact had stunned her. Slowly, the world came into focus. The gray blob next to her resolved into Limestone, who was yelling at her for some reason.

“Come on, get up! There’s more of these things to smash!”

The impact had cooled Ember’s rage, and she looked around to see a veritable sea of these carts. They zipped by just a lane away, and there seemed to be no end to them.

“We...we gotta get away.”

“WHAT?! You’re going to just RUN AWAY?!”

“There’s too many to fight, they just keep coming.”

“No way!”

Limestone jumped on the hood of the disabled car, eliciting a scream from the trapped driver. She then jumped onto its roof, and got her first good look around.

“Oh buck, you’re right! And they’ll run us over if we go that way,” as she pointed across the fast-moving lanes of cars. Then she turned to look at the other side of the freeway, where the cards were still stopped due to the accident Ember had caused.

“There! The other way! The carts are stopped, we can go that way!”

Ember’s first instinct was to fly, so she opened her wings and prepared to soar across the freeway. But she was stopped by a hoof on her chest.

“Hey! Don’t leave me here!”

“Oh...sorry. Still dizzy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Now come on!”

Limestone dragged Ember over to the concrete median. The dizzy dragoness slowly climbed over the waist height wall while Limestone deftly hopped over it. Traffic was stopped in all lanes on that side of the freeway, so the two wormed their way across without incident. They crossed the freeway shoulder together, then collapsed bonelessly into the foliage growing on the embankment. For the first time since Ember had woken up Draco, the two females finally felt safe enough to relax. They stared across the expanse of concrete and cars in abject wonder.

Had the Equestrians grown up on this world, they might have recognized the concrete and metal wonderland as the 405 freeway in Southern California. The magical vortex had deposited them on the 405 North in the carpool lane during the noon rush hour. Their timing had been excellent, although they didn’t plan it that way. Had they arrived when traffic was lighter, they may have been hit by a car at speed and turned into very messy road pizza. But of course, neither Limestone nor Ember knew any of this. From their point of view, the past several minutes had been an incomprehensible mix of strange metal carts driven by even stranger bald minotaurs.

As they watched, the cars on the 405 South began to slowly move while the cars going north smoothly zipped along. The wrecked car stuck in the carpool lane had managed to move out of the lane and out of sight.

“What...what the heck happened? Where are we?”

Ember’s head felt a lot better after resting. So it was much easier to answer the pony’s question.

“There’s nothing like this in the Dragon Lands. Or from what I’ve seen in Equestria. How about you?”

“These look kinda like the roads in Manehattan, but they’re WAY bigger. And I’ve never seen carts like those there! Or the drivers! They kinda look like shaved monkeys.”

Ember gave off an amused snort.

“Yeah they do, don't they? I thought they were really weird minotaurs. Maybe we’re in the Storm King’s domain? He was some sort of primate, wasn’t he?”

“I dunno, the invasion never got to the farm And Pinkie’s stories of it make no sense.”

“Pinkie? The pink pony? You know her?”

“We’re sisters. Pretty crazy, isn’t it? The rest of us take after Mom or Dad, but Pinkie takes after our grandmother. Either that, or Mom cheated on Dad but Mom denies it.”

“Huh. I don’t get you ponies sometimes.”

“You dragons are pretty crazy too. Now come on, I’m not gonna just sit around here and wait to be rescued.”

“Sure, I’m up for exploring.”

Both females clambored to their respective feet and hooves, then easily climbed up the embankment. Once at the top, they found a medium-sized grassy area and decided to cross it. But they were soon blocked by a tall rusty chain-link fence that stretched in both directions as far as they could see. On the other side of the fence was a road, and beyond the road were some brick buildings. The only thing Ember recognized was a large white sign that contained a picture of a yellow shell.

As the Equestrians looked around, a car drove by from their left and sped on by without noticing them.

“What, there’s MORE of these things up here?!”

“Ugh, these monkeys are obsessed with these things.”

Limestone turned and bucked the metal chain link fence, fully expecting it to fall down. But to her surprise, the fence held! The mesh stretched outwards like a spring, then snapped back and knocked the gray pony off her hooves.

“Hey!”

Ember didn’t even try to hide her laughter, which earned her one of Limestone’s meanest frowns.

“Fine! You try and break down the fence!”

In answer, Ember extended her wings and gave them a single flap.

“I would fly over it. I could just toss you over the fence but…”

While she was speaking, Ember was looking up and down the fence trying to find something. Her eyes lit up when she found what she was looking for.

“...I have a better idea. Follow me.”

The dragoness turned to her right, and strode under the branches of a large tree. Limestone reluctantly followed, and facehooved when she saw Ember stop next to a gate in the metal fence.

“And here you go. One gate in the fence! You ponies should try to be as smart as dragons, sometime.”

Limestone said nothing, but the red in her face and her gritted teeth would warn any pony nearby that she was about to explode. However, Ember was looking at the fence and missed Limestone’s reaction.

“So, we lift the latch and--”

The Dragon Lord tried to lift the metal latch on the gate, but it barely moved.

“Huh. That’s weird.”

Ember took a closer look at the latch, and noticed a padlock holding the latch closed.

“It’s locked? Why would someone lock a gate that anyone could fly over? Well, it’s easily fixed.”

The dragoness grasped the lock in her hand, then with a grunt of effort she squeezed her hand into a fist. The metal of the padlock didn’t stand a chance against her dragon strength, and the metal split open. With a quick yank, the padlock came free of the shackle, and a simple twist removed the shackle. The latch was then easily lifted and Ember swung the gate open.

“There we go! After you, pony.”

Limestone hid her shock at how easily the dragoness had broken the metal lock, and quickly trotted through the open gate.

“My name is Limestone, dragon.”

Ember followed after Limestone, and closed the gate behind her.

“And my name is Ember, ruler of all dragons. Better remember it.”

Now past the restrictive fence, the two females looked at their options. Ember first noticed a small building, just off to their right. It had a large overhanging roof, much bigger than the little building needed. Both the building and roof were painted white, with yellow and red stripes on their sides. A couple of metal carts were stopped there, just sitting under the large roof. The carts were parked next to these strange pillars that didn’t even reach the roof. Even stranger, there were these weird black ropes that stretched from the pillars to the carts. There were some words on the pillars, but Ember couldn’t make them out from that distance. But the small building clearly said ‘Food Mart”. To the right of the building was the large sign Ember saw earlier, the one that had a large gold Shell on it. The sign had some other words she couldn’t make out, and red numbers on a black background.

As if on cue, Ember’s stomach rumbled.

“I heard that.”

“Whatever, pony.”

“My name is LIMESTONE. If you want to work together, learn my NAME.”

“Fine, fine. Limestone.”

“Thank you. And I’m hungry too.”

“Look, it says 'food' over there. I don't know what a 'mart' is, but it better be good."

"Yeah, but there's a donut shop over there."

"Where?”

Ember’s eyes followed Limestone’s outstretched hoof. To their right, across another road with more metal carts, was a small white and orange building. But what caught Ember’s eye was the gigantic sign in the shape of a donut, with the words ‘Randy’s Donuts’ on it.

“Oh, that's a big donut. You really want to eat there?"

"Yeah, I want a donut or three."

Ember rolled her eyes. "You ponies and your sugar addiction. Fine."

The two females stepped off of the grass and into the street, where they were greeted by a loud car horn and the screeching of tires. Ember looked to her left at the offending cart, and screamed at it with all her might.

"HEY! I'M WALKING HERE!!"

She threatened it with a middle claw, meaning business. The cart screeched around the two, then sped off down the street. They continued walking across the street to the corner, then proceeded to walk across the cross street without stopping. Neither female recognized the red light and white crosswalk signal, they just presumed that the carts had stopped for them and were politely letting them cross.

Once on the other side of the street, Ember and Limestone walked up to the front of the donut shop. The shop’s menu was hung up on the front of the store, so the two could decide what they wanted ahead of time.

“Man, Pinkie would love this place.”

“Hmm? She likes donuts?”

“She loves anything sweet. And there’s stuff on this menu I don’t recognize, and she adores trying anything new.”

“Huh. You know what you want?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

Ember pushed her way to the front of the line and slammed her fist on the counter.

“Hey! I’m ready to order!”

An employee walked up to the order window.

“Sure, sure. Whaddya want?”

“I want a Devil’s Food Cake and two Bear Claws.”

“Devil’s Food and two Claws. Anything else?”

Limestone hopped up and put her front hooves on the counter to place her order.

“I’ll take a Maple Long John and a S’Mores Raised.”

“Maple John and a S’Mores. That it?”

“Yes.”

The employees gathered the requested donuts, and placed them in a paper bag on the counter.

“Okay, that’ll be nine dollars and forty cents.”

Ember tossed a few tiny gems onto the counter.

“That should be enough.”

“What are these, plastic toys? We only take money here.”

“You got any bits, Limestone?”

“Nope, we don’t carry any when we’re on the farm.”

“That’s all we got, monkey boy. I’m sure your pony princess can turn them into bits or whatever you take here.”

“Who you calling ‘monkey’? We don’t take no IOUs, here. Pay in cash, credit or get out.”

Ember was already irritable due to her hunger, and the bald monkey had pissed her off.

"Don't you recognize me?! I'm the Dragon Lord! My name is Ember!"

"What are you, some crazy cosplayer? No money, no donuts."

The employee snatched the donuts back from the counter, then slid the order door closed.

“GRRR!! I’m hungry, give me those DONUTS!”

Ember slammed her fist into the safety glass and shattered it.

The first employee turned to another. "Call the cops."

After a few more punches failed to give her the donuts, Ember scooped up her discarded gemstones and stormed off.

“I’m going to the ‘food mart’, come on. Maybe they’ll take my gems there.”

Limestone took a last fond look at the donut shop, and wished that she had brought her bits bag. But who knew that she’d be blasted away to a different country by Princess Twilight’s magic? The farm pony reluctantly turned to follow Ember, right as her stomach gave her a warning growl.

The two stormed across the street again to the Shell station’s Food Mart. While the traffic signal wasn’t in their favor this time, traffic was light enough that they were able to cross without any problems. Ember stomped her way to the door of the Food Mart, and had the door not already been open the dragoness would probably have slammed it open. She stepped into the cool, air-conditioned area, and stopped cold.

She could smell MEAT here! It was so difficult to get non-sentient meat in the Dragon Lands, now that they had a treaty with the ponies. But here! There was meat here! She didn’t care how much it cost, she had to have it!

Ember staggered her way across the Food Mart, where a carousel of hot dogs was sitting on the counter next to an attendant and a cash register. She slammed her hands on the clear plastic cover, and began to drool all over the machine.

Limestone followed Ember into the Food Mart, but wrinkled her nose at the distasteful smell of cooking flesh. She knew that some predatory species found her species tasty, but it was a whole other thing to see it first hoof. She turned her head away from the spectacle, then looked at the rest of the store.

It was a small store, with two tiny rows of stacked bags and boxes of what Limestone presumed was food of some sort. The walls of the building were lined with large metal boxes with glass fronts. Inside the boxes were rows and rows of strangely-shaped bottles. The mare placed her hoof on the glass, and could feel the cold radiating from within.

Ember had lost herself in her desire for meat, and had begun to pound her fist on the hot dog carousel. This got the attention of the attendant.

“You want some hot dogs? Sure! Just don’t break the machine or you’ll have to pay for it.”

That sounded like a good idea to the dragoness. So she tossed all of her gemstones at the attendant, then smashed her fist through the plexiglass cover! She reached inside and grabbed a steaming hot dog, then took a bite of the delicious, mouthwatering flesh.

Dragon Lord Ember found herself in carnivore heaven. She let out a guttural moan as she swallowed the rest of the hot dog whole. The dragoness shivered in pleasure while the meat slid down her throat, before reaching out for another tube of mouthwatering meat.

Had either Ember or Limestone been paying attention, they would have heard a loud wailing sound approaching their location. The locals recognized it as a police siren, and looked around to see where it was coming from. A police car came screaming down the street and quickly pulled into the donut shop’s parking lot. The lone officer got out and approached the front of the shop, and the employees pointed over to the Shell station across the street. The officer went back to his car, drove across the street and parked on the far side of the pumps near the open Food Mart door. He then walked over to the Food Mart and entered through the same door that Ember and Limestone had used.

The first thing that he saw was a blue animal that kinda looked like a lizard or a dragon from a cartoon. The creature was currently stuffing its face with hot dogs, with grease or drool running down its chin and onto its chest. The employees at the donut shop said some crazy costumed person had smashed their window, so this had to be him. It had to be a person in a costume, anything else would be crazy talk.

The officer pulled out his sidearm, and pointed it at Ember in a two-handed grip.

“Police, FREEZE! Put down the hot dogs!”

Ember turned to look at the uniformed bald monkey, and swallowed the hot dog in her mouth.

“No. I’m still hungry.”

She then turned back to the hot dog carousel and grabbed another meat tube in her claws.

“Back away from the counter, NOW! This is your only warning!”

Ember sighed, clearly the monkey with the stick wasn’t going to let her eat in peace. She turned to face the officer, and pointed the hot dog in her claw at him.

“Now, you listen here--”

The officer noted that the costumed perpetrator had pointed something at him, and instinct took over. He aimed at its center of mass and pulled the trigger twice. His aim was true, and two bullets hit Ember right on her sternum.

The metal smushed on her hardened scales and clattered to the floor.

Ember was unharmed by the bullet impacts, but they sure stung like a motherbucker.

"OW!! That hurt! BURN!!!"

The enraged dragoness opened her muzzle and unleashed a torrent of flame at the officer! Fortunately, the officer dove off to the side so Ember’s flame shot harmlessly out the open door behind him. As soon as Ember shut off her flame, the officer jumped up to his knees and aimed his sidearm at the dragoness again. But before he could fire, something slammed into his left side and knocked him back to the ground. When he looked up, he saw an angry pony standing over him. It had a nasty snarl on its face, and was trying its best to look dangerous. The back of his mind thought it looked adorable when it was angry.

“What are you doing, attacking my friend?! That’s Dragon Lord Ember! Don’t you recognize her?”

The officer did not. What he did know, is that he was outnumbered and that he should retreat to safety. Especially when one of the perpetrators had a flamethrower. He scrambled to his feet and ran out the open door behind him, then sprinted behind his patrol car.

Ember, by then in full rage mode, watched him run out the door and screamed after him.

“COME BACK HERE!!”

She stormed out the door after the officer, with Limestone following behind.

The officer leaned on his patrol car as he sat on the ground. He reached to his shoulder and activated his walkie talkie.

“Dispatch, this is 1712. There’s a female wearing a blue costume here, armed with a
flamethrower. Requesting backup, preferably a SWAT team.”

“With a WHAT? Say again, 1712.”

“You heard me right, a perp with a flamethrower. And some sort of armor, I hit her dead center and they bounced off.”

“Confirmed 1712, backup en route.”

“Oh, send Animal Control here too. The perp’s got a pet horse that’s causing trouble.”

Ember exited the Food Mart and looked around for the officer. But she couldn’t see him. Her rage demanded that SOMETHING must burn, so she let loose a jet of flame at a white cart to her left. The cart caught fire, and the crackling of the flames was literal music to her ears.

The officer heard the gout of flame from behind his patrol car. When it stopped, he poked his head over the fender. To his shock, a car next to the pumps was on fire! His immediate thought was to hit the emergency stop for the gas station, or the flames were going to get a lot worse. He quickly glanced around for an ‘emergency shut off’ sign, and he saw one. It pointed towards the front of the building, off to his right. Without another thought, the officer leapt to his feet and ran to the front of the station.

Unfortunately, Ember spotted him. She sent another plume of flame across his body..

Fortunately for the officer, Ember forgot to lead her target and missed again.

The officer rounded the corner of the building and spotted the shut off switch. As fast as he could, he lifted the protective panel and pushed the switch. There was no klaxon or alarm, but the shouts from the customers when their gas pumps shut off told him it had worked.

He had also hoped that the station had a fire suppression system installed, but one look at the burning car showed it still in flames. Fortunately for him, there was a fire extinguisher in a sealed case right next to the cut off switch. His sharp elbow smashed the glass, and he pulled the fire extinguisher out of its metal housing. A finger yanked the retaining pin out, then the officer ran back to the still-burning car.

As he rounded the corner, he plowed into the blue woman with the flamethrower and knocked her off her feet. He ignored her angry cries and sprayed the flames with the fire extinguisher. In moments, the dry powder from the extinguisher had smothered the flames and the danger was over. With the flames out, the charred metal steamed and smoked lazily in the early evening air.

Suddenly, he was slapped on the shoulder so hard it knocked him off balance.

“Hey! I’m talking to you!”

It was the woman with the flamethrower. And she still looked mad.

“Come on! You gonna attack me again?! I’m ready for you now!”

The officer realized that he had better de-escalate the situation before she hurt someone. Stall for time, calm her down, or both. While they talked, the office slowly backed up a few steps. He wanted some distance between them in case she attacked him again.

“You know, I’m really sorry about that.”

“What?”

“Shooting you, I mean. I thought you had a gun in your hand, and I panicked.”

“What, that? That was a hot dog! I was going to eat it before you interrupted.”

Limestone Pie stepped around Ember, and sneered at the officer.

“Yeah, that was a stupid thing to do, attacking a dragon! You’re lucky she didn’t mess you up!”

“I guess it was pretty stupid. But did you have to damage the car? That’s going to cost a lot of money to fix.”

Ember waved her hand dismissively.

“Eh, it’s no big deal. I’m sure the pony princesses will take care of it.”

“The...princesses?”

“Yeah. Celestia and Luna, right?”

“Right, right. Them.”

"Besides, didn't your mother teach you not to piss off a dragon? You kinda asked for it."

All of a sudden, the officer sprayed the fire extinguisher across both Ember and Limestone. The dry powder got all over their faces, which made them close their eyes and cough harshly. The officer set the fire extinguisher down, then drew his stun gun. He aimed it at the blue woman and fired. But to his surprise, the prongs simply bounced off and fell to the ground. Thinking quickly, he popped off the front of the stun gun; this action not only released the loose prongs and wires, but also exposed the 50,000 volt contacts inside the gun.

The blue woman was still coughing and waving her arms to try and clear the air around her. The officer slipped between her arms, jammed the end of the stun gun against her throat and pulled the trigger. The woman immediately convulsed and shook as the electricity coursed through her body. A moment later, she collapsed on the ground unconscious.

The officer stared at the blue woman for a moment, just to make sure she wasn’t moving. Then he turned his attention to the small grey horse. It was coughing and waving a hoof in front of its face, just like the blue woman. He debated finding a rope to use as a halter, but then remembered that it spoke to him earlier. So he jammed the stun gun into its neck and pulled the trigger. The horse’s limbs shook and it also collapsed, unconscious.

As both threats were neutralized, it was time to secure them. He rolled the blue woman over onto her front, then pulled her arms behind her back and cuffed her wrists together.

Several sirens began to wail in the background, and they were getting louder.

The officer stood up and looked over the two perpetrators. One was secured, but he had no way of securing the horse. He had to hope that it would stay asleep until Animal Control got there.

"This is going to be one hell of a report to write."