Chapter 8

The next day, Shining Armor groaned. It was clear he needed as Aspirin. His whole body ached. As he woke up. Alone in his bed as he gave a light groan.

“Last night was, woah.” He muttered as he pulled the cover off. His scratches and bruises were nearly healed up. The dark marks on him were fading to a yellow. His scratches seemed to be almost gone. In a way he was tempted to call in from work. He could barely move and working like this would just not do. He needed to be fresh and ready for work. He reached over to his phone and quickly made a phone call.

After calling His work’s attendance line he called Ash.

“You Shining Armor whats up.” Ash said, as he was working a little early.

“Wanted to let you know I called in something came up, So I’m not going to make it in.” Shining Armor kept his voice calm as he thumble his fingers sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Got some stomach issues or something?” Ash asked with a small chuckle, While guessing Shining Armor must’ve had a hang over. Though Shining Armor quickly denied that.

“No just slipped and fell backs just hurting like hell and don’t need to fuck something up.” Shining Armor chuckled. He gave a groan really putting into it.

“Hey no problem maybe get your wife to rub some cream in to get you feeling better, how is she doing anyway?” Ash adding with a chuckle. Shining Armor snorted.

“She’s doing well, maybe worn out from last night, though She probably headed off to work. But she’s doing great. Had a couple of friends over and all.”

“Oh really any of them single? I’m available you could introduce me.” Ash chuckled. As he was clearly joking, or at least that was what Shining Armor imagined as he rolled his neck around.

“Nah, I think they’re up to other things right now. Plus I don’t think they’re your type.” Shining Armor chuckled. Bast suddenly bouncing on the bed licking her paw. Clearly returning to her more feline form as she laid back.

“Eh, well I better get going let the others know you’re working try and have fun and get better.” There, the phone clicked off and Shining Armor sighed while putting his own back in his pocket.

“So how did you sleep Lover?” Bast said giving the gleam as she snickered, Shining Armor grunted lightly.

“I slept fine, though I’m just sore. It was a busy night.”

“Oh yes, such a perrfect night. It scratched the right itch.” Bast said rolling on the bed, acting all cute and cuddly.

“So, does this mean your going to act less like a pain in the ass?” Shining Armor asked while getting a shirt on. Bast turning into a Siamese cat. As she pawed the ear.

“Let me think about it… No.” She laughed while pawing onward as she amused herself.

“Hmm just naturally a dick.” Shining Armor said raising an eyebrow, Bast looked annoyed by the comment.

“Like the scorpion it’s in my nature, we cat’s are rulers of the wild, we do as we want and are what we are. Not my fault humans are so complicated, the world would be better if they do what cat’s do.”

“Like lay in the sun and nap all day and demand food.”

“Exactly, and well, thank you for worshiping me it’s been a while since someone worshiped me directly.” Shining Armor had never seen a cat smile before but at that moment Shining Armor couldn’t help that this Siamese Cat was grinning at him. It reminded him almost of the Cheshire cat. That toothy grin.

“It’s no problem though It just kind of happened you asked, and I wanted to let you feel good.” Shining Armor said as he got his pants on tightening his belt up.

“Which I’m glad I feel powerful, though with how much spunk you shot into me. Who knows I might have some kittens, with me in heat and all time.” For a second Shining Armor thought he was about to have a heart attack by the idea of that.

“Got you, or am I, heh we wouldn’t know.” She whisked her tail some as she smirked,

“But I’m sure you’d take responsibility,” She suddenly walked over poking him with her paw.

“If that happens though how would I do that?” Shining Armor chuckled as he gave a light joke. Though Bast stared at him with some seriousness as she answered.

“Hmm I’d say marriage, make an honest kitty out of me.” The Cat goddess posed more as she gave her self-center cocky.

“Yeah, yeah— Yeah, smart ass. If Cadance agrees.” Shining Armor joked as he headed into the living room, he heard Bast hissing at him as the door shut behind him. Shining Armor rolled his eyes as he walked over to the living room. Cadance was sitting there wearing her black suit with the red button up shirt. She was cleaning her glasses, while Shining Armor smiled some,

“So I see we’re skipping casual Friday.”

“Sadly not so casual, while we’re pal’s It’s really more of a business thing, Don’t worry though we’re not going to cause to much trouble. As long as we keep the booze away.” Cadance giggled, while rolling her shoulders some. She looked almost nervous. Though Shining Armor moved in as he gave her a light massage his fingers rolling on her shoulders. Trying to do his best to comfort her.

“Hey it’ll be ok, just try and relax. I’m here if you need me.” He muttered while using a firm grip Cadance moaned lightly.

“Hmm thanks Babe, though how did you sleep last night? Cause I know I slept like the dead.” Cadance joked with a light laugh, Shining Armor chuckled.

“Well I slept pretty well though I’m very sore, you girls tuckered me out.” Cadance gave a slide grin as she remembered last night. Shining Armor nodded before adding to that.

“Though Bast was a bit weird this morning.” He said keeping his massage going,

“Weird how? Is she climbing the walls, Hacking in your shoes?” Cadance joked while moaning more.

“Well she talked about Marriage in a way, saying that that I should make her an honest kitten.” He slipped over and wrapped his large arms around her breast his fingers massaging them outside the soft fabric. Cadance moaned for a second before she moved over slapping them away.

“Stop that, we can fool around later when your good. Though as for Bast, She gets that way when she’s in heat. But if she really wants to marry you, and your fine with it. I don’t mind sharing as long as I’m the main wife.” Cadance winked as she pushed her butt against Shining Armors thighs, practicly feeling his bulge that was growing while Shining Armor imagined being married to not one beautiful woman but two. Even if the other one was a cocky cat.

Suddenly the Bell rang and Cadance pulled back a smile on her face as she clapped her hands,

“I think its them, this is great.” She ran right toward the door opening it up. There standing in the door were four people. Three woman, and one Man. The Man, standing behind the three of them was the tallest. Looking nearly seven feet tall. He looked like he was ex-military, A leather jacket His jaw square and chisel. If anything he looked as though he was the stereotypical action hero. Or Rogue Cop that was ready to bust heads— take names.

He was surrounded by three beautiful woman, each of them gorgeous in their own way. Cadance moved over giving the girls a hug.

She started with the blond, who was wearing a pink tank top, and baseball hat. Short shorts. That seemed to barely cover her ass. The woman smiled and hugged her,

“Cadance! It’s so great to see you, it’s been what 50 years!” she gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Aphrodite its only been a few years, but hows been Hephaestus?”

“Oh normal working nonstop hanging in his forge, though Ares always manages to take care of my needs Right honey buns.” She giggled looking towards the Man. He gave a grunt and a nod. While holding his thumb up. Cadance nodded and hugs the woman in the center she was more traditional looking wearing indian garbs as she hugged back,

“Kali, hows it going been destroying anything.”

“Not for a while, though no one has given me a reason to truly destroy. Though I suppose its good for the world. I’ve heard you were married.” Kali said while turning over looking towards Shining Armor, who gave a wave. It was there he noticed The woman who went by the name Kali had 6 arms- No was it Ten. All he could tell was she was very handy. But she was quite beautiful even if she was wearing a necklace of skulls. He gulped at that.

“He doesn’t seem like much, too skinny, though Shiva is more handsome.” She rolled her shoulders and patted Cadance’s back. The there was the last one.

“Celestia you are looking so fine hows been the raising sun?” Cadance said while the woman nodded,

“It has been fine. Though it’s been quite a trip. Can we please begin our meeting the day is young such as myself. Plus my sister has been causing some issues, and I had to lock her up in her room. She’s been getting way into cosplay, and video games. Unbecoming of a moon goddess.” She bowed her head in respect and looked on.

“Sure come in we have a lot to talk about, Oh and please meet my Husband His name is Shining Armor.” Cadance smiled as she was showing him off like he was a brand new pet. Shining Armor felt rather embarrassed being showed off.

“Hey seems nice, though why married I remember the last time I was married to a mortal.” Aphrodite muttered as she looked off in horror. Shining Armor couldn’t help but ask.

“What happened?”

“It was horrible, I had to cook, I had to clean no one payed attention to me, I was treated like a wench. He wasn’t even great in bed!”

Shining Armor almost felt bad for her, even though he imagined she might’ve been over exagerating the whole thing.

“So what did you do?”

“Oh I started the Trojan war and had him killed as soon as he went out into battle. Just like that I was free and get back with my handsome lug of a boyfriend.” She leaned over giving the Man behind them a kiss, He didn’t show much expression but a hard grunt and nod.

“Well thats… nice.” Shining Armor felt his head drop not sure how to react to that, it was really a situation of utter weirdness but figured he’d just go with the flow.

“Aphrodite please don’t scare my husband. I don’t want him to run away from me cause you put crazy thoughts in his head.” Cadance leaned kissing his neck with a gentle smile. His cheeks turning into a deep red in utter surprise as he smiled to his goddess.

“Oh fine heh Beside I’m just teasing the cutie, though we better get talking I have a manicure around six, and I don’t want to be late, then me and Ares baby, has to go out to get a drink. He wants to get in a bar fight tonight. Has to let out his anger since war’s aren’t happening as much as they use to.”

Ares nodded with a smirk on his face as though he couldn’t wait to bust heads.

“Well ok, well we better get started with out conversation, Shining Armor if I can ask you could you head to another room. Not that I don’t want you here but this is a matter between Gods. And I don’t think you’d enjoy hearing us speak in Celestial.” Cadance smiled some as she kissed his forehead. Shining Armor felt annoyed his expression showed it but thinking over it a second he decided it would be the best option and nodded.

“Sure I’ll just hang out with Pinkie or something.” Shining Armor rubbed the back of his head. It wasn’t something he was use to but he had to go with the floor. He was curious about what the Celestial language was but he had a feeling if he heard it something bad might happen. Like he would be driven to the point of madness as no mortal could truly hear the voice of gods.

But then it made him wonder… Did Cadance actually look like this or was this his mind that perceived her as this. A long sigh as he thought about it.

“Thanks sweetheart. I’ll call you when we’re finished.” Cadance reached over kissing his cheek and he nodded heading off back to his room.

Rarity stumbled into her room. Her body hurting. She wasn’t sure what was going on. But in a way she felt as though she was dying. She couldn’t eat, Barely slept. She felt like she was being dragged through a paster filled with cow shit, and hitting every stinking load those cattle made. She was regretting life. She hated she ever met John Lancie. She wished she could just flat out die.

But the fact was, she was sure that if she tried killing herself. Lancie would just bring her back. That being wasn’t human— he was more like a demon in human flesh. But he was strange. He forced her to save peoples lives preventing their death, and keeping them alive. She was doing all sorts of good. Yet at the same time. It felt as though she was doing more harm. Like she wasn’t supposed to be doing this. Every instinct told her to run. To hide, get away from that Man. But she couldn’t, No matter where she went. No matter where Rarity hid, Lancie would find her. It was like they were bounded.

Rarity reached over to her bad and got down on her knees. She hadn’t done this for a long time. Not since her mother died, as she cried more and began praying. She prayed to god.

“Please God, help me— I’m in danger, I’m afraid, I’m afraid that a demon is attacking me. Or an Angel, I don’t know, but I feel like he’s killing me; please protect me. I’m begging you. H-He’s scaring me, but I don’t know why. Send help to protect me. Just get this monster out of my life. I beg you— I’m begging you! I’ll follow you. I’ll go to church for you, Fuck I’ll become a nun if I have to, but please save me from this demon. This John Q. Lancie!”

“Oh come on, no, I’m not that much of a demon now, am I, darling?” John Lancie said laying on the bed, an apple in one hand and a knife in the other as he slowly began peeling it off.

“What are you? Rarity said, feeling week.

“Hmm I’m me, I’m John Q Lancie but, if you must know what I am, well it’s clear you’re not the sharpest tool in the shed. But how about this I’ll tell you I’m not some insignificant demon, I’m not a monster— But I am a god.” He stood up as his body glowed, though Rarity felt herself stumbling back, coughing hard as she looked up to him her body trembling in utter fear.

“Y— Your not a god. Gods are supposed to be good, not hurt people. Protectors.” She trembled more as she wanted to run away, try and get away from this beast. But Lancie smirked. As he looked down at her. Oh how he loved looking down at mortals how small how insignificant they are only ready to be used when he wanted to use them.

“But I am, though the fact is you’re in my world. I’m just letting you live here.” He chuckled as he leaned down. His finger caressing her chin as he popped his neck.

“What are you wanting?”

“Oh nothing much just to get your former boyfriend to leave his wife— My ex-wife. He took something that belongs to me, and As I’ve said once. I’ll say again. I don’t like to share.”

He growled as though something was pulsing in his head. It was almost as if anything that went wrong would drive this creature— this god off the rails and nothing would sate him untill everything was restored.

“Then why are you hurting me? Why am I in pain.” She exclaimed her breathing getting heavy. As she felt her legs trembling more Lancie chuckled more as he leaned down.

“Cause life is pain, it’s chaos its, Unruly madness. My alignment is for creating and building but at the same time. Letting that creation destroy and run around like a pure monster.” He gave a sinister smile, His crooked smirk growing wider as Rarity trembled.

“So, I have something I need you to do nothing too crazy. Just go to the bar drink till you throw up for all I care, but be there. Maybe seduce your old boyfriend. That Shining Armor Armor, seriously who names their kid that. It sounds like a name for a parody Anchorman. Whatever. But just be there, and try and do what you can to get him to leave Cadance.” He chuckled more as he reached over caressing her cheeks.

“If you, do this. I’ll reward you, you can live forever, retain eternal youth. I can do that let you live forever.” He reached down kissing her forehead with a smith. Though Rarity. She looked at him, and felt nothing but fear. Fear for If she didn’t do. He’d keep her alive anyway, Alive and suffering till the end of days. If that would ever arrive.

“O-Ok.” She reached over taking the gods hand. But at this point she felt as if she was shaking the hands of the very devil. It made her sick to her stomach that she was even doing something like this. But what choice did she have?

“Kick him in the balls! Kick him!” Pinkie The Gremlin screamed as she raised her fist in the air as she watched the Television.

“Pinkie this is Boxing they don’t do that, You’re thinking of MMA fighting.” Shining Armor said as he drank a beer, Ares sat over nodding as he drank his own beer.

“I miss the old fighting the greek did, No rules, no holding back. A fight till ether you where knocked out or dead. Sometimes both. I remember watching Harelcens fight the champion man lost an eye but won the battle I mean you should have seen it the Man’s eye was hanging out of his skull!” Ares raised his beer in excitement as he watched the two opponets beating the hell out of each other in the ring. Such power behind each of them. As they began fighting. Shining Armor and the group didn’t know who was fighting they just turned it on and the show appeared.

“So, pure advice since you are having na affair with Aphrodite, any advice I should know about being married or with a goddess of Lust?” Shining Armor decided to ask since he had a moment’s chance.

“You need advice from me on being married to a goddess? Ok one Advice I can give you. Is a must, Never stick it in the wrong hole. Did that once by accident with Pumpkin in there, and next thing I knew she clawed my eyes out. I had to ask Hephaestus, to replace them. The mother fucker started laughing his ass off. I ended up having to be blind for a week while that fucker built my eyes, Though I will admit they look cool as fuck.” As if Ares knew Shining Armor was going to ask how they look he pulled off his sun glasses revealing two balls of flames that glowed like a pair of two red suns. Staring down deep into Shining Armors soul.

“Well that’s something I never expected to deal with.” Shining Armor muttered taking another drink. Ares Nodded,

“Yeap, though hey one of the few benefits of being a god, But fuck can it suck at times. You mortals think its so easy being a god. Going, Oh, how I wish to be a god, how much fun would It be to have all that power doing so much, nothing could stop me. Trust me being a god is the most annoying thing out there. Gotta follow all the rules and when we help out mortals. You fellas get all pissy when they fuck up the plan. I mean yesh. Then you run after the next new god, Take Jesus for example. The guy walks on water and makes water into wine and next thing I know my temples and everyone else gets topple by his nutty followers. I swear if the guy didn’t make a good wine I’d kick his ass.”

“Wait so Jesus was real? Sorry was an Atheist before all this.” Shining Armor responded while rolling his hand into a circle. While Ares Nodded,

“Oh yeah, mainly a demi-god, but he’s still around guy’s not as impressive as you think. I use to raise armies of the dead to fight my enemies. Aphrodite could make thousands fall under her spell. But a man from the middle east, makes water into wine, walk on water and heal the sick and suddenly he’s super-hot. It’s insane! I mean I wasn’t Mr. Popular but come on!”

Shining Armor wasn’t sure what to do in this situation looking over towards Pinkie who nudged her shoulders as she returned to watching the boxing match throwing the old one— two. Imitating the fighters. Shining Armor just did what he could do reaching over and patted his back.

“Well anyway I’m still able to get worship just some clever work needs to be done. But I’m more relaxed then some of the newer gods. Those guy’s can be assholes.”

“How so?” Shining Armor asked rather curious as he watched the game. His ears on the War God.

“Well basicly a bunch of them are like teenagers. Take this one guy I know He’s basicly a god of the internet, Super douche bag, Feels he needs to be in control. Super control issues with wanting to bring on madness. It’s like the worst aspects of Loki and Zeus rolled into one.”

“Really any examples.”

“Well can’t get into too much details but the guy had a thing for Goddess and she rejected him. Before he went on and pulled a Zeus and tricked her into marrying him. Though unlike Zeus this guy isn’t even top shit. Just a side god. So they ended up separated and the fucker has been bitter ever since. Hell he was humiliated and laughed at.”

“Damn, well guess the guy deserves it.”

“Oh yeah, but fuck can the newer gods be a pain in the ass, especially the ones that don’t need prayers. Honestly you’re lucky with Cadance, she’s the type that has a level head on her shoulders, even Aphrodite wasn’t as calm. She’s really mellowed out over the years. But trust me on a good Saturday night the girl can be wild I can put money on that.” He chuckled bumping his shoulder

“Yeah, yeah. Though its been an interesting time. I mean if you told me over a month ago I’d be married to a goddess. I’d have called them crazy, or something like that.” Shining Armor chuckled while Aries lowered his sunglasses.

“Yeah I guess so, though hey. It’s a crazy world out there. Even for us gods.”

“Yeap, Hey wanna get another beer.” Shining Armor asked with a chuckle realizing his bottle was nearly finished.

“Sure sounds good, I can use a few before going off on my date with Aphrodite.” Aries nodded in agreement. Though they were about to head off to grab a beer when Shining Armor realized Pinkie was building something as she placed scrap metal together.

“Pinkie what are you doing?” Pinkie looked up her screw driver tightening a screw as she exclaimed as thought it was nothing.

“Dillzooka…” She returned to her work though Shining Armor raised an eyebrow as he responded,

“Okay, I have to ask whats a Dillzooka?” Shining Armor rubbed the back of his head. Aries crossed his arms looking almost like the terminator. Pinkie rolled her eyes at this as she reached over and pulled out a Dildo, a long one with a suction-cup back. As she began placing it in one end. Her hand lifting the device and counted down.

“1…2…3…FIRE!” Suddenly without warning a hard blast came from the Dillzooka, firing off as Shining Armor jumped for cover. The sound of the rubber dong bounced all over the place till finally it stopped. Shining Armor raised his head up looking around, trying to assessing the damage. Everything looked ok. Though off on the side he looked at Ares who stood there. Though with an attachment on top of his head. As what appeared to be a nine inch dildo sticking to his forehead bouncing up and down.

Shining Armor fought off the urge to laugh as he looked almost like a dick-head unicorn. Or Dildacorn. Ares just groaned as he reached over ripping the dildo off, as he wanted to scream but seemed to hold back for a minute. Pinkie though was giggling up a storm.

“I think they’re done talking.” Aries muttered clearly his mood and buzz was over with right then and there.

Eventually they moved back off towards the living room. The woman were sitting around the couch, smiling. It was clear that the conversation was over with. Though Kali looked ruffled up. Shining Armor raised his eyebrow and couldn’t help but ask,

“Okay what happened?” He pointed over towards the Hindu goddess, Though she crossed her arms and looked away clearly annoyed.

“Oh nothing much, Bast and her got into a disagreement. One thing lead to another, and… well Kali owes us a new kitchen.”

“I do not it was the Egyptian pussy who was running in there while I was trying to destroy her!” Kali screamed in anger her face turning darker. As if she was about to loose her temper.

“Kali, you were throwing the fireballs. You don’t want to be hit with Karma now do you, Or should I tell Shiva.” Cadance said lowering her glasses as she glared at the other goddess. Kali growled in annoyance and decided to shake her head.

“Fine, I’ll have Shiva transfer the rubies and have them converted into American dollars to have your Kitchen repaired.”

Eventually they began leaving, Though Aphrodite couldn’t help but ask Aries.

“Sweetie Pie, why is there a red circle on your head?” Aries only responded with a light grunt and groan. The goddess of love nodded as they would begin walking off out the door. Aphrodite would turn around and give Cadance and Shining Armor a smile, calling out.

“It was nice to meet you guy’s, and Shining Armor you’re pretty nice for a mortal, I’m sure Cadance won’t start a war and get you killed.” She let out a giggle while Shining Armor was not sure if she was joking or being serious.

“I think Aphrodite likes you Shining Armor. Maybe I should keep an eye on you.” Cadance giggled as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“Heh, no worry. I think Aries can keep her. One goddess is good enough for me.” Shining Armor chuckled though soon felt a hand grabbed his shoulder as he heard a purring.

“Don’t you mean two goddess, Boy, This kitty needs attention also.” He looked over seeing Bast. Her clothes ripped off, she looked as though she had a black eye. And was looking more like a lion with a mane, that was all over the place. Shining Armor gulped. Before without warning he heard Pinkie jump in.

“Don’t forget about me!” She screamed landing in his arms. Still holding the Dillzooka.
Shining Armor rolled his eyes feeling himself chuckle. Life had truely gotten strange.

Author's Note

Boy was this chapter a pain in the but to write XD