Chapters A Friend At The End of The World
Cadance had come to love the early shadows of night that would befall her world during autumn evenings. The world turning a softened orange and bright pink by the dying flares of a sun wearied from a long summer, setting man and nature aglow to add to the numerous colors of nature already present on the earth below. Something about this small fraction of beauty paired so well with the coolness of the air that would come at the sun’s departure. These were the days of change, warmth fading slowly away alongside brilliant bursts of color amongst the leaves and proclaiming that even her own ways must now turn as well.
It was a gentle change, at least today. Perhaps that was best when she considered what sort of day it was for her.
Twilight slowed their ride and made the turn up into the driveway, pausing only for the patient wait of a garage door in need of repair to make its ascent before pulling into the shadowed corner of their world and coming to a halt. The calm vibrations of the engine beneath ceased and the world became just a little quieter, the silence kept at bay only by small breaths and a sigh that permeated the air. The young woman took away her glasses and rubbed her eyes, pushing drowsiness aside that had come from what little drink she had consumed.
“Well,” she said, “I hope you had fun. I know it wasn’t a big deal or anything, but I figured…”
Cadance felt the pause in her beloved’s words. “You figured what?”
Twilight shrugged. “That maybe something quiet would be a little better for starters. You know, just for today.”
“I had a great time with you, as always,” Cadance assured her. “It was a lovely gift, Twilight. Thank you.” She knew her graceful spouse was not much of a wine connoisseur, but that had yet to stop Cadance’s own enthusiasm for the subject. It meant a great deal that Twilight was willing to indulge her hobby and be in good spirit throughout. “I always do like La Vin .”
“Mmf… I wish I could make sense of it like you do,” Twilight remarked. “You just seem to notice everything in it, I can’t manage.”
“If you liked wine more, you might,” was the reply. “It’s a taste thing, that’s all.”
Twilight settled her keys back into her purse. “I guess so. But it’s fun for you, so that’s enough for me.”
“I guess so.” Cadance’s exit from the passenger seat was completed with a slow stretch, muscles put back to work and revived from their entropy. “So… what else have you got planned, hmm?”
Twilight blinked. “Planned?”
Cadance smirked at the feigned innocence. “So that’s it for today? Just a quick little visit to a wine bar? Something that small doesn’t sound like you…”
“Really? OK,” Twilight said, pushing through the door and entering into the darkened world of their home, the sound of her purse rattling as it was set upon the island.
Notice that she didn’t have to unlock the door , Cadance told herself, the smile on her lips beginning to grow. Twilight was not the best actor in the world, and past history said that making a show of specific moments in their lives was something she tried to do, occasionally to the point of grandiose. Not that Cadance had ever minded; the sweeping acts of affection were always fun, even if Twilight couldn’t always manage them perfectly. They came from the heart and were always genuine. That definitely counted in Cadance’s eyes. And so, with today in mind…
“SURPRISE! ”
The enthusiastic roar of voices was expected and yet somehow a surprise, the dim world of her shadowed home suddenly alive with light and color as Cadance’s first step into the living room was met by cheers. Everywhere she looked there were faces to be seen, marked by welcoming smiles that befitted their festive adornments. Just as Cadance had suspected, Twilight had kept a trick up her sleeve and proved herself a wondrous distraction; she just hadn’t expected something of this caliber. There were so many decorations- and so many people! Friends both new and old were there to greet her, and all seemingly glad to do so.
Headmost of the crowd was the familiar face of an old friend, bearing that trademark smile that spoke to softened warmth, made all the gentler with the passings of time. Celestia’s hands were full as she took steps towards the coffee table, taking care with each movement as she slowly set the luxurious cake before awed faces, stepping away only to lean back and grab an elongated knife that had been stashed on the windowsill. “I think the birthday girl gets first pick,” she said. “And you’d better hurry, Pinkie’s been bragging about it so much that she’s made everyone hungry for a slice.”
Cadance’s eyes shown as she settled on the couch before the tempting accolade, letting its appearance be marveled at for a little moment longer. It was a magnificent thing to behold; a double-leveled cake bearing the softened pinks of thin icing, the edges marked by a deep-red ring of tube frosting. Small raspberries topped the baked delicacy, gently pressed into the thin coating and adding to its ocular appeal, all of it held together by the brightly glowing 50 that sat atop the very center with a flame swiftly burning.
Before Cadance could at last make the move, she felt the presence of additional weight settling beside her and then the sensation of softened lips pressing gently against her cheek, she held fast by the hand that cupped about her chin. The feeling of Twilight was the only thing that could have given her pause, a reason to turn attentions away from this beautiful confection. After all, there was only one person who could make such a day feel so good, and she would not have turned from such affections for anything.
“Happy birthday, Princess,” Twilight murmured, the gleam of candelight making her eyes flicker all the more brightly. “Ready to make a wish?”
Cadance, however, only laughed and blew out the singular candle in a swift puff that was capped by applause. “What could I possibly need to wish for?” she asked, meaning every word. This little house in which she sat held everything that she cherished in the entire world, not an ounce of it in need of the slightest bit of improvement. The things and places and people that she knew and loved were more than she could have possibly imagined.
Knife was taken to cream icing and cut through, a plate ready to carry the sweetened treasure to eager lips, Cadance taking the first bite and giving a tremor at the burst of flavor that met her senses. Rich cocoa that dwelled in the moist breading, so perfectly tinged by the flavor of cream cheese icing and the juicy crunch of berry that gushed through it all. She’d had the pleasure of partaking in Pinkie’s numerous baked machinations over the years, but this new creation might truly be the one that surpassed them all. All so rich, so delicate to the touch, and oh so delicious. “Wow …”
Twilight laughed. “Goodness, is it that good?”
“Oh my gosh, yes,” Cadance breathed, going back for a second bite just to affirm the matter. She could have happily settled into the activity and consumed the tempting slice in a matter of seconds if it were not for the many eyes that had come to settle upon the cake itself, clearly eager to discover the truth for themselves. “Well- who wants some?” she asked of her companions, reaching for knife and plate so as to begin serving out portions. “Thank you, Pinkie Pie, thanks so much- to all of you!”
A clean cut and a hefty slice was first set in the hands of her beloved bride, Cadance only ceasing in her efforts so as to find Twilight’s lips for a kiss, hoping that the simple gesture would be enough to speak to all the love and gratitude she felt within her in that moment. There were so many reasons to celebrate today, so many things that tried to prevent its passing. Yet here she was, alive and still joyfully in love; that was reason enough for her to celebrate even the smallest things.
She allowed herself time to be lost in the consistent din that was human conversation, sound pulling her this way and that as Cadance simply sat and drifted in their midst. The sight of friends and family all about her, enjoying themselves in pleasantries with one another was one she knew she would cherish the rest of her life. Those she cherished were comfortable and in good cheer, she blessed enough to be found in their midst. With all that had transpired in her life, it was a greater gift than she ever could have believed would come her way. To simply let it pass before her eyes was all she really needed right now, content to let a full stomach and a small trickle of fine wine to keep her at ease. Perhaps it would have been even better if Twilight were at her side, but the unexpected hostess was finding her attentions were needed elsewhere. And what an excellent job she’s done , Cadance thought. Make sure you tell her, she really deserves it. This must have taken so much effort- and speaking of effort…
The familiar, yet now-rarely seen sheet of starlit-blue hair came pushing through the crowd to find her, accompanied by a young woman with a bright gaze who now stood a full head taller than when Cadance had last seen her. Perhaps one came forward more willingly than the other, but the sight of them was still a pleasure to behold. After all, it had been the span of a few years since they had last seen one another.
“Luna, hello!” The hug that bound the two older women together spoke to absence and warm feeling, held fast even as they took the time to look over one another as old friends. “It’s wonderful to see you again, thank you so much for coming!”
Luna’s features were still sallow from the jetlag, but her smile showed no sign of weariness. “It was a perfect excuse to take a little vacation,” she replied. “Tia tipped me off, of course I had to come- happy birthday !”
“Ooh, thank you. It’s been just a wonderful day.” Though there was plenty more words to be shared with one another, the third member of their little chat was more than worthy of recognition in her own right. “Nova- goodness, look at you!” Cadance cried, taking in the appearance of her young companion. “Your mom wasn’t joking, you really did get tall!”
The youthful teen gave only a half-smile, still too much a young girl to fully open up and let her more gregarious nature reveal itself to a family friend. The long, dark hair she had possessed as a little girl was now absent, washed over in a thick pink dye that coated the length of her pixie cut. However, even teenage moodiness would not stand for long in the face of someone so intently joyful, Nova taken into the arms of Cadance and finding herself capable of returning the gesture- if only half-heartedly. “Happy birthday, Cadance,” Nova said quietly. “Hope it’s a good one.”
“It has definitely been good,” Cadance replied, though there was one absence of word that she couldn’t fail to notice. “But Nova, am I not your Aunt Cadance anymore?” She could recall the time spent with the girl when she was still young, happily playing the role of a doting relative.
Nova’s half-smile turned to a half-grimace instead, eyes darting about the room as though fearful someone would overhear and rain down mockery. “Do I have to say that now?” she asked.
Cadance laughed, remembering the long-lost days of her own teenage attitudes. “No, you don’t have to,” she said, though still holding the young girl by the shoulder. “But I’ll always be your aunt, even if you don’t want me to be.” A small flicker upwards, accompanied by a grin. “I like the hair, by the way. It suits you.”
The compliment was unexpected but welcome nonetheless, Nova’s face brightening at the remark. “Thanks! Mom and Dad hate it, but it was a blast to get done.”
“Please don’t start,” Luna sighed, “You’re thinking about law school for college, how do you think they’ll look at you if you walk in looking like a punk rocker?”
“They’ll think it’s awesome, that’s what!”
Cadance laughed all the harder as she watched mother and daughter settle into their respective sides, the argument between them clearly a long-standing one that would endure far beyond the realms of the living room. “She’ll miss you when you move out,” the sweethearted woman teased. “And you’ll miss her, I promise. I missed my Mom, too.”
“Keep telling her that, please,” Luna replied. “She doesn’t believe me or Jasper at all about how we were as kids.”
She could see the stories incoming from a mile away, and the teenage girl was in no mood to hear any of them yet again. Nova gave her mother a squeeze of the shoulder and said, “We needed to get going, remember?”
“Leaving already?”
“It was a long flight,” Luna answered. “Is it alright if we come by on Saturday and visit for a bit? We’re staying at Tia’s till Monday, all we’ve got are a couple school visits…”
“Yes, of course you can! We’ll see you then.” Cadance gave both women another embrace before letting them make their way to the door. “Thanks for coming by, it was great to see you!”
The night was filled with the comings and goings of familiar faces and longtime friends, Cadance happy to meet and greet every single one that came her way. All words spoken were kindhearted, whether they be boisterous or gentle; best wishes were given and received happily as the party continued on into the night. It mattered not how many times she heard simple words spoken over and over, the mere fact that she was hearing them was a gift in Cadance’s eyes. So many times before, she had wondered that perhaps she would never really reach this day, or that it would be a dread specter in a lonely life. Instead, she received each new tiding with love and gratitude, letting the words spur the ghosts away that had long waited to haunt her.
It was close to midnight when the house was at last left all but empty, Cadance and Twilight playing host for a little while longer to a genial, though somewhat tipsy, Celestia. Her keys safely secured for the evening, the exhausted wives sat beside their oldest friend on the concrete steps of the porch, letting the cool air of the fall night brush against their faces ever so gently.
“How much further is this guy?” Twilight said, glancing down at her phone to check for the time of arrival. “I swear, if he’s just going slow to make you want to cancel…”
“He’s not, don’t be silly ,” Celestia said, brushing the younger woman’s phone away as though it were doubt. “It’s late, he’s just trying to be careful !”
“He’s been at the light outside the neighborhood for like five minutes!”
“It might be broken. Oh gosh, what if he got in a wreck?” The thought came upon Celestia in a horror, she suddenly agitated and set to nerves. “Oh, and it’ll be because of me, I’ll feel awful !”
“He’ll be fine, don’t you worry,” Cadance murmured, more content to lean against the wall and let her eyelids droop. Far past her usual bedtime, the call of the bedsheets was beginning to grow raucous. Shower first, please . “It’s just a slow light, Twi, don’t be grumpy.”
“I’m just saying! After last time-” Twilight let her words slip away and she gave a groan, peering out into the dark in the hopes that she would spot him. “Oh well.”
“Mhm. Oh well.”
The trio sat there in silence, letting the night pass by as they patiently waited for one last departure. Cadance’s struggle to remain awake was becoming a real battle, the comfort of the crisp darkness soothing to her body warmed by alcohol. Twilight continued to glance down at her phone and wonder, waiting for movement on a screen to transpire before her eyes. Celestia, listing this way and that, suddenly took to her feet and gave a low breath as a shudder coursed through her form.
“This really happened,” she quavered. “I really got to see you make it this far.”
Cadance was roused from near slumber and perked up at the sound of tears. Celestia’s eyes were screwed shut, yet not enough to prevent a pair of fat droplets from streaming down her cheeks and leaving a salty burn. “Tia, are- it’s OK, you’re OK.”
“I know.” Her smile was watery but genuine underneath, the eldest woman looking down upon her companions and delighting in the sight of them. “Tonight was perfect. Really, it was. And… I’m so glad for both of you. I always wanted you two to be happy, and you get to be happy together. That means more to me than you’re ever going to know.”
The words were brought about by inebriation, dormant feelings given extra strength by lack of inhibition. Twilight had to bite her lip to hold back her own emotion, while Cadance possessed no desire to conceal the slightest thing as her eyes glistened from the unexpected kindness. “Thank you for being here, Tia,” Cadance said. “It meant a lot to have you here.”
As the bright beams of distant headlights grew closer, Celestia made her goodbyes and departed home, hastened away by helpful hands and allowing the two hostesses to at last give the long, draining sigh that sealed a completed day.
“Well,” Cadance groaned, “I think it’s time for bed.”
“Amen.” Twilight’s pleasant expression melted away and turned haggard, exhaustion crushing her form into submission. “Forget cleanup, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
Dishes were strewn across kitchen countertops, stained and carrying miniscule scraps that had failed to be consumed. Glasses lay half-drunk as they sat in the sink, the scent of wasted liquor rising to meet unsuspecting nostrils as the bitter tang began to reek. Open packages and unsealed food were left to lay until sunlight came, untouched by the pair of tired brides that had enjoyed their night to its fullest capacity.
Cadance’s shower was swift, she hardly taking a moment to dry her hair before collapsing onto the pillows with a huff. Twilight found energy only for brushing her teeth, any further hygiene forgone until morning came and strength return to spent form. There was no reason to glance at phones, or even read; no strength of mind or spirit could be found that would tempt them to such endeavors. Instead, wife found wife and came close, willing to spend the first minutes of this long slumber comfortably nestled next to one another as eyes closed and remained shut.
“Cadance?” Twilight asked.
“Mhm?”
“How was today?”
Cadance let the memories flow by, sealed behind darkened eyelids. From her awakening to this last fall underneath covers, she saw it all pass before her: a carefully prepared meal of french toast with cinnamon coffee, a bouquet of rose awaiting her at her desk, a comfortable glass in a cozy corner of her favorite wine bar, and the best party she had ever experienced, made complete by the sights and sounds of people she loved. All of it, every single bit, made sweeter by the beautiful beloved that she called the love of her life. When only a solitary day was all it took to drive away the long-buried fears of age, what hope did those fears have? She was growing older- day by day. She was aging, held fast in a body that was starting to fail. More days were likely behind than there were ahead. But she was loved, deeply loved; her world was at peace even after countless struggles and sorrows that had seemed so willing to break her in two. And right now, the simple feeling of Twilight beside her was all that it took to take a day that had once been dreaded and turn it into something wonderful.
“Today was perfect,” Cadance whispered, leaning over to place a kiss on Twilight’s head. “I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
She gave one last slow breath and her conscious mind disappeared into a slumbering world, knowing that there was nothing else that needed to be said.
Author's Note
One last time, with my two favorite ladies.
I like writing this. It felt nice to just be sweet and simple.
Keep reading, I guess. Shout-out to the guys who follow me just to downvote.
A Friend At The End of The World
Two Years Later
Cadance’s dignity was stalwart, but allowed herself just a trace of a sigh. She really never was going to look quite the same again, even after years of convincing herself that she would be accustomed to it. What part of there could she find that hadn’t been left damaged by sickness or the ravaging of time? Could a single part of herself be seen unblemished as though she were still the beautiful woman of yesteryear? Try as she might, and with a little sucking in of her stomach, the whole mission seemed to be in vain. There was never any going back, try as she might; she had quite truly become rather old.
The lines beneath her eyes were the first thing she’d noticed- well, not quite true. The absence of her breast was what she’d noticed first, but that seemed a little unfair to take note of. No action she’d taken or choice she’d made had brought that about; that was just because. But everything that had come after? The crow’s feet, the extra body fat, the sagging chest, and much more than she was willing to admit… the ignorance of a grey hair was commonplace about five years ago; now product was more or less essential.
Cadance gently applied further makeup beneath her eyes and tried not to sigh as she took in her appearance, mutely bemoaning just how futile the whole act had become; avoiding the wearing of time was something she couldn’t quite achieve any longer. She was old, tired, and definitely not the beauty she had been during the days of her youth.
There was sound outside the bathroom, light footsteps making their way across hardwood floor and eventually finding tile; Twilight stepped into the bathroom from her place once downstairs, a mug of coffee in her hands that was soon set aside on the countertop so she could perform her morning duties. The sight of her bride was more than enough to make her heart melt, Cadance’s morose features softening and turning warm as she soaked in that beautiful visage. Now there was something lovely to behold, that much she knew. Why give herself even a glance when something so elegant and lovely as Twilight was nearby?
Where time had performed its cruelty upon her own form, the passing of days had been extraordinarily kind to her younger spouse. No longer did she possess a youthful form but rather a visage having been transformed into something elegant, a classic beauty made to last and endure even as time continued on. She’d tried bearing contact lenses and Cadance had urged her against it; there was a special loveliness to be found in her spectacles, a special beauty that surpassed normal appearance. By Cadance’s standards, Twilight had left the realm of classic princesshood behind and was now a queen: beautiful, timeless, and overflowing with grace that couldn’t be found in anyone else. Most assuredly, most definitely, the most beautiful woman in the world. Loving Twilight was easy even on a normal day, but knowing that she loved someone this exquisite made it all the more natural.
Twilight must have felt the weight of Cadance’s lovesick gaze, for she slowed in her actions, pausing in her fiddling with a hairband. She turned to look at her bride for a moment, taking the time to look her up and down before giving a soft smile that was accompanied by a sweetened sigh. “Wow,” she whispered, “Just look at you.”
How could she not groan? Cadance had tried to fight this battle more times than either could hope to count, suffering through self-pity and admonishment endlessly for the truth to consistently win out; Twilight at least had the eyes to see that her beautiful spouse still possessed a magnificent loveliness all her own, the passing days taking that sultry sensuality and transforming it into a wonderful sweetness. Cadance’s eyes always shone, always lit with a warmth that spoke to a gentle nature. Her words were kind, her voice soft, and just so much of her radiated that tender spirit. How could she not be seen as beautiful when so much of her was so lovely? Time had only taken fine edges and turned them soft, making her all the more desirable. As far as Twilight was concerned, and that was the only opinion that really mattered, Cadance had somehow become more beautiful than ever before. Perhaps they did not feel the need for passionate lovemaking in every moment as they once had as newlyweds, but ever still did they long for one another. To have and to hold, to love and to cherish; there was happiness that could only be found in the presence of one another, no matter where and what they were doing.
Cadance could only scoff at the remark, laughing as she took in her pitiful appearance. “Oh, please,” she moped, “Look at me. I’m old… and ugly.”
“Not even a chance.”
“Twilight…” Whatever it was that her more youthful bride saw in her aging visage was more than Cadance could figure. “You know flattery isn’t your strong suit, come on now.”
“Flattery? Oh, now that’s just mean,” Twilight replied. “Do you really think I don’t know you’re pretty?”
A more difficult thing to contradict, considering that it was now about one’s honesty than honest appearance. Cadance couldn’t exactly call her spouse a liar and it be all that OK. “I think you’re being really sweet, that’s all,” she said. “I’m getting old and you know it.”
“So am I.”
“But you’re still pretty!”
“And so are you!” Twilight countered, a gentle laughter in her voice even as her exasperation began to reveal itself. “Goodness, what made you wake up so stubborn today?”
“It’s early and I’m old ,” Cadance said; her eyes darted to her favorite eyeliner that did a magnificent job covering her crow’s feet. “Why are you so cheerful today?”
“And who says I’m cheerful?” Twilight inquired. “Come on; why’s it so bad that I think you’re still pretty? I love waking up to your face every day.”
“I still think you’re exaggerating. Just so you know.”
“Feel free to; you know I’m right.”
Oh for heaven’s sake . The consistency in belief was sometimes too much for Cadance’s self-pity to take, too intent on looking down upon herself to let the love of her bride take its place in her heart. “I do not know where you get it from, or why,” Cadance began, “But why don’t you look-”
“Hush.” Twilight’s finger came to rest against moving lips and struck Cadance dumb, the younger woman’s eyes retaining their sweetness even as her exasperation turned that smile into a pout. “Can’t I win this one for once?” she asked. “Just for today?”
Cadance fully wished to continue and revel in her misery; it would, after all, likely result in her gaining a few more compliments from Twilight that her subconscious seemed to eagerly chase. But she knew why they had awakened early today- their trip northwards was not for pleasure of any kind. The weight on her mind regarding her own complexion was nothing in comparison to what Twilight was having to endure now. If it was of such importance that this beautiful creature was able to commend her as something lovely, then she would for now relent.
She felt arms sink down beyond her shoulders and come to rest in her lap, Twilight sinking into the presence of her beloved and releasing a long, weighted sigh as the good cheer that had come about at the sight of Cadance disappeared. The fleeting happiness had already faded like mist beneath the sunrise, spectacled visage turning to gloom. “You don’t have to come with me,” Twilight murmured. “It’ll be alright.”
“But you won’t be alright,” Cadance countered, feeling more of Twilight’s presence lean against her for comfort. “That’s reason enough.”
“She’ll be worse than last time.” The words that had been flung were barbed, meant to sting and prick at Cadance’s heart- a presence so dear that they had wounded Twilight also. “She doesn’t really… she can't always remember you as you are anymore.”
She had heard the conversations even over discreet phone calls; what strength of mind that remained had done well to retain the unpleasant. Cadance knew that Twilight’s caution against her presence was one given out of love. “Maybe she will this time. And you shouldn’t be dealing with it alone.”
“You’re sure?”
“Of course I’m sure,” Cadance said. “Now let me get finished, I’m almost ready. How far is our ride?”
A pause as Twilight powered on her phone to see the whereabouts of their temporary chauffeur, signaled for long before the new day had formed upon the clock. “About fifteen minutes.”
“Crap, I need to hurry up.” Cadance wasted no time in turning back to her makeup kit, the mirror giving all the information she needed to know that there was still plenty work to be done. “Let me know when he gets here. Can you check my bag to make sure I have my phone charger, please?”
“I can do that.” Twilight turned and left the bathroom to her bride’s devises, keeping to her word and perusing through a small suitcase for one particular set of wires- only pausing to call out, “You’re pretty and you know it!”
“Shuttup,” was the only reply she received. A half-shrug and a sigh as Twilight accepted her words meant nothing for now. There were other things to attend to today.
The winged chariot that held them was somehow more cramped than any had ever been before, Cadance feeling a strangely potent sense of claustrophobia unknown before this morning. She’d flown before- many times, considering that her parents had lived on the west coast for years. In fairness, it had been many years since her last spate of travel had seen her airborne; perhaps that, along with time’s miserable work, had helped her settle into a newfound discomfort. The armrests were too close to her side to be of any use, her legs given little chance of stretching out and relaxing. Even if she managed to find sleep, the awakening would come with a vengeful soreness that would surely linger.
“I got a message from Rain just a bit ago,” Twilight said, fingers tracing across a cellular screen as text flew across her eyes. “Looks like we might be coming up on a good day this time.”
“Oh really?” Cadance remarked, taking note of the small glimmer of hope upon her bride’s face; still wrung dry, but holding onto what comfort could still be found. “What’s she say?”
A quick exchange of hands and Cadance let her gaze dart across the screen in a heartbeat: I told Velvet last night that you and Cadance were coming to visit for a few days, and she was so excited that she set out a whole outfit to wear for when you arrive. And when she woke up this morning, she still remembered that you were showing up! It’s put her in a lovely mood and she wants to spend the day getting the house ready for the both of you.
Were you still planning to donate most of everything in the garage, or were there some things you were wanting to keep? I know it was on your list of places to clean, especially now that we’ve sold the car.
By instinct her expression had softened, a melancholy smile adorning her lovely lips as Cadance took in the words before her. Considering that every visit prior had been one negative after the other, to hear such good news so early into this expedition could only be a good omen. “That’s great,” she murmured. “I know she’ll be so happy to see you.”
“And it sounds like we’ll have a little less to do this time around, too,” Twilight added. “If we can get the entirety of the garage cleaned out, it means that she won’t really have much of any extra stuff just lying around. Everything else she just… needs. For just a bit longer.”
“And we’ll be able to handle that easily,” Cadance said as she placed a kiss on Twilight’s cheek. “Why don’t you try to get some rest? It’ll be a long day once we get there.”
“No promises,” Twilight said even as she stifled a yawn. “I know this isn’t exactly first-class but… does it seem a little cramped to you?”
Cadance was delighted to know someone shared in her misery and immediately expounded upon the subject.
The flight was not so long anymore, yet not long enough to allow a nap to be satisfying. Cadance found herself awoken by the jostle of wheels against tarmac, a sudden snap of the neck as though she’d only just begun to slip away into a quiet dreamworld. Immediately her senses were aware of the world about her, the dip in temperature compared to the land they had left behind a potent thing. Goodness, it was only October; how could it be this cold already? The pullover she’d worn on the flight no longer was enough to keep away winter’s bite and she gave a shiver.
Her own small movements were enough to awaken Twilight resting beside her, the younger woman’s deep slumber slow to leave her wearied mind behind. A flutter of lashes adorning eyes dried and bleary against the weak light of late morning, not quite cognizant of the world about her. “What time is it?” she said in a mumbling croak.
“About eleven,” Cadance answered as she brought phone to her own tired eyes. “Feel any better?”
“Mmf… amazing, actually,” Twilight said. A slow, easy stretch in what little space she was offered as the aircraft slowed and began to wheel its way to the tarmac. “Would you mind if we grabbed a little… alittle –goodness- breakfast on the way there? Nothing big, just some Joe’s Donuts or something.”
“I could do that. Something for Velvet and Rain would be a nice gesture.”
“You read my mind,” Twilight said. “Well… onto the next thing. Guess it’s time to start calling in our next ride.”
The trip from the airport to the aged house that had long been the family homestead went slowly; morning rain had turned to frigid cold, a thin sheet of ice along blackened pavement making what few willing drivers there were wary to move with any sense of haste. As Twilight looked out into the world beyond, she took in the multitude of sights and images that she’d seen so many times in her younger years. So much had changed, yet still beneath the weathering of time and all the turmoil that had transpired in the world she could still see every inch of the familiar. She allowed herself the pleasure of soaking it in and let the intimate details fill in the gaps that memory could simply not prevent; the sun shining over white snow as she spent a happy Christmas when her family had not been so broken. And there had been the entire summer she’d spent up her with Shining, her grandparents taking them to the lakehouse for a whole weekend. The weather had been amazing the entire time, as if the world had offered them a chance to revel in one last good moment together before the divorce became final, and they'd all at last gone their separate ways. It had been so easy, and so much of it good; just the beginning of her life, long before the real world had truly been able to sink its claws in. Twilight swallowed away the melancholy even as she knew this just might be the last time she’d ever see any of it again.
“Twilight, Cadance! Hello, it’s so good to see you!” The welcoming voice of Rain was the first sound to meet their ears as they arrived, the door opened to reveal the gentlehearted caretaker. Older than Twilight yet younger than Cadance, Rain possessed something of a doughy, lumpy form that befitted her soft nature, warmth within her darkened eyes that gleamed when she so often smiled. Difficult to fluster and wielding a seemingly limitless patience, her continued aid in Velvet’s daily life had been a comfort for Twilight in the past few years. “Do you have anything else you need to bring in? You look like you didn’t bring much.”
“No, this is everything,” Cadance answered, meeting Rain for a hug on the top steps of the aged home. “We stopped at a Walgreens on our way in to grab some detergent, we were thinking of cleaning some of the old bedsheets while we were up here.”
“Well come on in, then! I’m sorry you came up at such a horrid time, it’s been so cold the past couple days. Not surprised you had to take your time coming in from the airport…”
Cadance and Rain continued their friendly chatter as they left the cold world behind and entered into the soft warmth of the house, Twilight soaking in the familiar, bittersweet environs. The home that had once been her grandparents was a dated place, still bearing the styles and fashions that her grandmother had always adored. Velvet Gleam had been a tasteful decorator, if perhaps a bit more lavish than what Twilight enjoyed, rich colors on the walls that were occasionally pock-marked by small family photos that hearkened to days long past.
The faces of family long gone before she had ever met them before her eyes, settled beside the dearly departed that she had known and loved; a small pang struck Twilight’s heart at the sight of her grandparents when they were still young, forever preserved in a happy memory untarnished by death. Weekend Warrior had been her favorite family member for all her life, the doting grandfather that everyone dreamed of knowing. Even with him now long gone, she could still feel his presence everywhere she looked. Her grandfather was still here, memory alive in so many things within these walls that if he had walked about the corner to greet her in a backbreaking hug then she wouldn’t have even blinked. But most of all she saw him in his daughter, that last binding legacy that still breathed and held treasured memories of the aged man she’d been so glad to know and love.
“Hey, Mom.”
Twilight Velvet, sitting on the couch and draped beneath a thick blanket, gave a start and ceased in her shredding of a half-used kleenex to raise her head. The listless gaze took in a small glimmer of light as recognition set in, Velvet giving a smile and saying, “Twilight! Oh, it’s lovely to see you!”
Twilight anticipated the issue before it revealed itself, she keeping her own form steady as Velvet struggled to rise to her feet, the hug between mother and child a shaky one despite the warmth. Her last visit had been similar in its beginnings, a struggle for movement that she hadn’t been expecting and had nearly seen the two fall. But the novelty this time around was the frailty; Velvet had lost so much weight! The bones beneath weathered skin were prominent now, much more than her visit a year before. She’d known Velvet was eating less nowadays, but not to this degree. “H- how are you, Mom?” Twilight tried to keep her voice steady and free of alarm, a soothing anchor rather than a worried daughter.
“I’m great! I didn’t know you were coming, thank you for the surprise!” Velvet replied, smiling brightly as she held herself steady on Twilight’s weight. “I would’ve made sure to get dinner ready for you, but this is still fine!”
Twilight’s heart sank; the cheerful words were a stark contrast to what Rain had texted her in the morning, and just further worry that continued to compound. “Oh. Mom, I thought we’d told you we were coming.”
Velvet’s smile began to lessen. “Did you?”
“You’ve just been busy today, Velvet,” Rain answered, tranquil as ever in dealing with the elder woman’s confusion. “That’s why we were working so hard to clean up the guest bedroom. So Cadance and Twilight could have a place to sleep while they were visiting with you!”
The stream of memory was clearly muddled within her mind; Velvet’s expression was clouded, concerned that she could not recall conversation nor action that had preceded this welcome reunion. She’d been able to recall sights and sound and even voices with ease, yet now the morning’s events were a shape within fog. Whether it was because of recollection at last or simple acquiescence, none could tell, but Velvet at last returned to a smile and gave her daughter a renewed embrace. “I’m so glad you had the time to visit. It’s wonderful to see you,” she said.
Twilight didn’t want to focus on this newest hardship, losing herself in the grasp of Velvet’s hug. Whether it was a loveless marriage and the bitter divorce that had followed, the near-lifelong alcoholism that had taken so many years to be cast aside, or these long years of dementia that continued to rob her of reality- none truly mattered to her in the midst of this renewed bond. This was her mother, a woman who had endured more struggle and pain and failure than she could ever really imagine; for what little time Twilight had left by her side, she was happy to know that their old strife was little more than memory.
“I love your dress, Velvet!” Cadance’s voice came through just in time to rescue Twilight from her rising emotions, Velvet paying no heed to the tears upon her daughter’s face as Cadance’s shining visage took precedence. “Where did you get it? It looks great on you!”
The day soon turned to evening, darkened skies falling swiftly as the late year’s grip on warmth and light tightened. When Cadance and Twilight had taken the time to get settled in, Velvet and Rain awaited their presence and the four women spent their time happily recalling their time spent elsewhere. Gentle reminders helped to guide the elderly Velvet through the years and events to which she had not been present as well as those she had, the kind words of her companions doing their best to fill the gaps that the mind could no longer manage. The occasional discomfort came whenever Velvet had to pause and forcibly ponder things, but no sight of frustration or unhappiness seemed to seep out and take hold; the once-harsh mother chose softness, glad to spend her time alongside her daughter.
Cadance did what she could to help the both of them, though she felt akin to wading through a murky bog; Twilight was the one who knew Velvet’s struggles inside and out, recalling every symptom and past struggle immediately. She could only try and be a source of tranquility for them both, and hope that good cheer would help mitigate any issues that could arise. Her heart hurt whenever she saw Velvet become distressed, whether it be with memory or a utensil or even her current reality. She’d known Velvet for almost as many years as Twilight, and what she’d endured certainly didn’t need to be relived again. This continued degradation was heart-wrenching for her to see- Cadance couldn’t imagine how Twilight dealt with it.
It was not long after a late dinner that Rain and Twilight helped Velvet get ready for bed, a consistent schedule one of many means by which they helped soothe her troubled mind. For a task so simple, it took a surprising amount of time: Cadance did what she could to see Velvet’s clothes ready for her while Twilight helped dry her mother off from a bath, slow presses of a soft towel to aging flesh and bone as daughter tended to the one who had once cared for her.
Pausing in her work, Cadance watched in silence as Twilight performed her work, Rain having returned to the kitchen to finish preparing Velvet’s numerous medications that would await her in the morning. The tenderness with which Twilight performed every movement patient, careful so as to best aid her mother- the sorrow within her eyes that remained hidden by her smile, a low and soothing voice as she helped guide Velvet through every motion. Twilight was a marvelous caregiver, as gentle and loving as anyone could hope to be. Though her mother had not always been the ideal parent, still did the beautiful woman act with all manner of grace and warmth. To watch Twilight in such simple acts of affection was, by Cadance’s measure, the most shining example of love that could ever be found.
“We’ll be right in the other room if you need anything, Mom,” Twilight said, ensuring her mother was comfortable upon plush pillows and beneath soft sheets. “So if you wake up and something’s wrong, just call for me or Cadance and we’ll be right there. OK?”
Though barely awake, Velvet’s genial mood continued all the same. “Thanks for coming to visit. It’s been a lovely day with the two of you,” she said. “Don’t stay up for too long.”
“We won’t, I promise.” A kiss on the forehead before departing, Twilight giving her mother one last wave goodbye as she flipped off the overhead light and left the room. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, sweetheart.”
It was cruel that their relationship had become so warm in such awful circumstances, Cadance thought. Velvet had not always been at her best, but Twilight had always loved her mother just the same; now Velvet adored her daughter, and may not remember even the briefest word shared between them. Now out of sight of her mother’s eyes was when Twilight at last allowed herself the opportunity to deal with her emotions, a short gasp as a pair of tears fell down softened cheeks.
No words could really be of any help, so Cadance simply took Twilight from behind and embraced her, allowing this momentary release to run its course until the younger woman could regain some semblance of self-control.
“Sorry,” Twilight said, her voice thick and threatening further tears. “I’m alright, I’m alright…”
“You did an amazing job today,” Cadance murmured. “I’m so proud of you.”
Twilight gave a shudder but said nothing; ever her greatest critic, she had plenty of objections to such a statement and deeply desired to express them. But a moment for another time, she eventually supposed- Rain had yet to depart, and there were still a few remaining things to be done.
The ever-cheerful caretaker sat amidst her things in the kitchen, tactful enough to wait and let the two brides be alone in their distress for a short time. When Twilight entered the room and made for an open chair, she smiled and said, “I’m so glad you came in when she was having such a good day. I haven’t seen her this happy in a very long while.”
“Has she been that bad?” Twilight asked, blunt and still bearing a sorrowful expression.
“I didn’t mean she’s been miserable- I’m sorry if that’s what it sounded like,” Rain replied. “I know you must be worried about her, especially with being so far away!”
“But… she has been having more issues, hasn’t she?” Twilight asked; a quick glance to her side as Cadance took the seat beside her. “I remember when you and I talked last week…”
Rain’s cheerful demeanor could only sustain itself for so long, evaporating and turning to more serious matters that had been the reason behind this long trip northwards. “Well, her… her good days are rarer, and her bad days are- they’re getting worse,” she admitted. “When I came in yesterday morning I found her lying against the side of the bed; she’d fallen and couldn’t get herself back in bed.”
Cadance put a hand over her mouth. “Was she OK? Did she-”
“She was fine, thankfully. This time,” the gentle matron replied, “but she had urinated on herself and had become extremely frustrated. It took me a while to get her to relax again and she was irritable the rest of the day. I was worried she’d still be in a grumpy mood when you arrived, so at least that.”
“How was she when you came in this morning? Was everything OK?”
Rain gave a wry grin. “I stayed on the couch just in case. One scare was bad enough, and she’d only been that way for a short time- I didn’t want to run the risk of her falling again and I not being here for hours.”
“You haven’t been- Rain, go home and get some rest!” Twilight said. “I’m so sorry, if I’d known we would have come yesterday so you could be with your family.”
“It’s alright, I promise. It was only the one day,” Rain said, casting aside what protests that came with a wave of her hand. “But all the same, I’m glad you’re here for the rest of her time here. I always worry she’ll have a real accident whenever I’m away.” The remnants of her good demeanor disappeared at last, whisked away alongside a winded sigh as her expression became dour. “She’s been struggling a lot this month, Twilight. She’s had more issues this year than last and that’s to be expected, but… but entire days can pass and she’ll think she’s a kid living with her parents. Or that she’s still married to your father and…”
Twilight knew what was said even in the silence. She bit her lip to maintain the hold of her emotions before saying, “It really is time, isn’t it?”
Rain’s gaze was sympathetic but she nodded all the same. “You made the right call,” she answered. “She needs full-time care, and that’s something none of us here can reasonably give her. The facility you chose- I worked there myself just before I started looking after your mother, it’s a wonderful place. The staff will look after her every need, she’ll be perfectly safe and they’ll… they’ll make sure she’s alright. Velvet will be just as comfortable there as she could be anywhere, and much safer.”
“Yeah. I know.” Twilight’s voice was tiny, choked as the lump in her throat threatened to block her speech.
“I know it’s hard, but you are absolutely doing what’s best for her,” Rain continued. “Don’t feel like you’re being weak or lazy or throwing her out. You’re making the choice that will be best for her- and best for you, too.”
“I know. I know,” Twilight said. The comfort of Cadance’s hand, gently rubbing the back of her neck, gave her the strength to swallow and find her voice once more. “So you haven’t told her that we’re moving her yet, right?”
Rain shook her head. “I figured that would be something you’d want to tell her yourself.”
“Yeah, it… it is. An intake of breath, then released slowly as she began to mull over the next day’s events. “So we’ll… we’ll have to tell her tomorrow. She’ll be leaving next Monday.”
“Wait until around lunchtime. She struggles in the mornings,” Rain advised her. “And I’ll be right there with you, so don’t feel too much pressure. I’ll help explain some things to her about what she’ll be doing next.”
“Alright, then.”
A quick goodbye and the pleasant woman departed for the night, leaving the two brides alone beneath the pale light of the kitchen. Twilight said nothing and remained a statue, Cadance continuing in her massage as the lateness of the night bore down on them all the more heavily.
“I’m going to go get a shower,” Cadance said at last, slowly rising from her seat and grimacing at the soreness that she endured. “Or would you like to first?”
“You go on ahead,” Twilight replied.
She knew the emptiness of that voice full well, Cadance only halting her departure so as give her bride a kiss before leaving Twilight to a grief that none could hope to alleviate.
The morning came with pale light, Twilight awakening to flickers of sun piercing through holes in the decaying curtains. All around her were the memories of sights and sounds long past, tethers to an old life that had somehow transformed into the waking hour. When she compared the joy of those childhood moments to the gnawing ache she felt now, the contrast was starker than she wished to accept. No matter how her mother took the news, none of their remaining days here could hope to be anything but bittersweet.
The clock read a quarter till eight; she’d have to go and make sure Velvet got up soon. The longer she lay there and felt her senses enter further into the waking world, the greater her dread became. It would have been nice if she could simply get it all over with: spit out the news and go about her day. But with her mother having deteriorated so greatly, it would have to be delivered gently; a fully awoken mind would be a little more capable of dealing with the news in a rational manner.
“I hope,” she whispered; almost a plead.
A sound of motion above her and Twilight turned to see Cadance twisting about on the daybed, bleary eyes peering down at her bride on the trundle below. “You say something?” she mumbled.
“It’s nothing.” Truth be told, Twilight hadn’t even realized that she’d spoken aloud. “Go back to bed, Princess.”
“What about Velvet?”
“I can handle it.”
“Mmf …” Cadance rose slowly from her lying position and took the time to stretch, more than a few grunts following each movement of muscle. “Oh wow, I hate how hard that is- of course I’ll help you with her.”
“It’s alright.”
“I don’t mind, Love,” Cadance countered, suddenly fully awake and conscious of her wife’s growing distress. “It’s OK to not be OK right now.”
“I know.” She did, and meant it; the years had done well to soothe her neurotic patterns, develop a patience and self-control that had one been buried. “I just… I’m gonna have to tell my own Mom that I’m putting her in a nursing home because she’s actually losing her mind and can’t take care of herself, I- I…” It was too early into her waking, emotions still bare and vulnerable; Twilight forced herself to swallow and continue on. “I don’t know how to say any of that right now,” she whispered.
Cadance said nothing, merely gazing at her bride with a softness tinged with sorrow. It hadn’t been too long since she herself had said that last farewell to her own kin, the grief still fully capable of rising from the depths and searing her heart. At least, by her perspective, her parents no longer suffered; Twilight would have to say goodbye to her mother long before Velvet ever truly died.
“Let’s make sure she’s awake,” the gentle woman said, slipping out from beneath the sheets and taking to her feet. “I’ll pick out a couple outfits for her to choose from after we get her in the bath, OK?”
One thing at a time . Cadance was keeping her occupied with the first task rather than fretting about others. “Alright, then. Come on.”
She could smell the odor the moment they opened the door, the first sign that Velvet had done poorly throughout the night. Had she not called out for either of them, or –heaven forbid!- had they not heard her and simply slept through? The pungent reek of urine permeated the air as the two women entered the dimly lit room to find Velvet awake and leaning back against the pillows, completely devoid of expression.
“Mom? Are you alright?” Twilight was making an effort to hide her distress, keep her voice even and relaxed. It was not a fact that today would be one with which Velvet struggled, but it was also not a comforting sign. Perhaps, if she kept herself calm, then this would only be seen as a bump in the road.
Velvet was slow to react, as though rising out of a trance; her eyes fell upon the source of sound and scrutinized her daughter as Twilight came to her side and gingerly inspected the stinking sheets. Not a word to be seen upon her lips, just a continued inspection with a hardened gaze that held so many feelings within them that it was impossible to tell which would win out.
Holding back just a bit was Cadance, reluctant to add her presence to the mix just yet when it seemed Velvet would need a few extra moments to compose herself. Did she not remember that Twilight was her daughter? Or was it lack of recognition that failed her? The iron in her eyes was something she’d felt fall upon her before, and its weight was not something pleasant. A knot in her stomach began to tighten.
“We’ll need to get you a bath before we do anything else,” Twilight remarked, as lightly as though it were little more than a mealtime mess. “Come on, Mom, put your arm across my neck-”
“You’re not my daughter,” Velvet said.
Cadance winced, unwittingly letting a small gasp to escape her lips before recovering. The words were said with suspicion- with venom , Velvet lashing out against her kindred that her sick mind knew was most certainly a deception. Twilight was left somewhat senseless from the unexpected blow, clearly hurt and doing what she could to recompose.
“I- I know I might look a little different,” the younger woman said, returning to moving back Velvet’s bedsheets and revealing the thin form beneath. “I’ve been gone for- for a bit, so it’s OK to not really recognize me. Don’t you want to get out of these wet clothes? I’ll help you to get to the bath and we can get you cleaned up.”
“You’re not my daughter. My Twilight’s still busy at college, she wouldn’t leave unless she was sure she could.” Velvet spoke the words so matter-of-factly, convinced without a doubt that what she stated was truth. What memory that held fast to her now could not see the woman before her eyes as Twilight any longer but instead a dreadful other, with the ‘real’ Twilight so many miles away.
“You weren’t able to be there when I graduated, that’s all, Mom,” Twilight replied. A quick shuffle of hands and Twilight extracted her phone, flipping through an endless number of photographs to find one of her those many years ago in a bright-red graduation gown. “You were helping Grandma and Grandpa because she wasn’t feeling well that day. I know you’ve been busy!”
Twilight was giving a commendable effort by Cadance’s estimation; beyond the initial shock that had dealt its wound, she was reacting with good cheer and calming words that would keep Velvet away from further distress. Though not entirely convinced, Velvet at least seemed more willing to listen than she had been when they’d first entered.
“Here, put your arm across my neck, OK?” Twilight said, leaning down again and offering herself as physical support. “I’ll help you get to the bathroom and you can get cleaned up, I know you might be sore.”
Still suspicious of this 'stranger' even as she relented, Velvet hobbled to the nearby bathroom in a strange stumble as she tried to outpace what her body could give, weakness failing her when the mind asked for more. Once so capable and proud, the sight of her having fallen so low was one that left Cadance rattled. She was hardly older than I am now when she found out, she mused, now look at her. I can’t imagine. With enough space between, Cadance came to Velvet’s drawers and began to extract a few items for the day; this was a pants sort of day, something comfortable-
Out of the corner of her eye, a jerked movement of body grabbing her attentions by instinct. Velvet had caught sight of Cadance flitting through her belongings, and the pall of recognition was evident upon her aged face. The sudden drain of color, however, was incomparable to the fire that now set alight in her gaze; a weakened mind still remembering full well the humiliation that she had been forced to endure at Cadance’s hands, that time of unforgiveness now back in full force. Uh-oh .
The early-morning stumbles were the ill omen that they feared them to be; Velvet remained agitated throughout her bath, constantly trying to depart of her own will and putting herself at risk because of it. Cadance felt her eyes burn her form every time she walked by the bathroom door to perform further work on the stained bed, a hostility that Velvet hadn’t dealt upon her in years. Part of her wondered if it would be best that she just stay out of the way for the rest of the day- her presence was causing unnecessary distress that Twilight would have to deal with. Would it just be better that she remained out of sight, out of mind?
“Be careful! My leg hurts because of you!” Velvet’s voice cracked like a whip, more than audible even in the hallway. The tone put an end to the beautiful woman’s stride and she halted, Cadance waiting just out of the threshold before daring to reveal her presence once more. Am I being a coward here?
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t notice your bruise,” Twilight replied. Still did her patience continue to bear her mother’s displeasure and show no signs of cracking. “Did you hurt yourself while you were sleeping last night? Like, sleep on your side wrong?”
“I am not your mother, and you’re scrubbing too hard- that’s why I’m hurting!” Velvet shot back. “I have told you a thousand times already, I am not your mother!”
A twist of her heart for her bride; Twilight would come away from the day emotionally bloodied if this sort of harshness continued. She hesitated only for a moment longer, primed to take Twilight’s place and allow her a reprieve-
“And why did you let that bitch in this house? I know I saw her.” Where there had been fire was now something volcanic, a hate so deep that Cadance felt it burn even from a distance.
“Saw who?” Twilight was playing innocent, tone still light in the faint hope that Velvet’s own would follow after.
“Her . Cadance,” Velvet hissed. “Do you know what that piece of shit did to me?”
Oh boy .
Twilight knew what was about to befall them and the memory of that long-ago time was no more pleasant now than it had been then. “I might have-”
“She played me and my sweet Twilight into getting drunk with her, did you know that?” Velvet said, “just when I was wanting to stop drinking! And then she tricked me into sleeping with my own daughter, as well as her! She made me have sex with my own baby girl just because!”
Not the whole story, but the whole story was actually much worse. The memory had dimmed over the many years since, but Cadance felt no pleasure in recalling what flashes of sight and sound and feeling that still lived on. Considering her own role in it was bad enough- for Twilight, who had been a complete victim throughout, the memory had to be humiliating.
“I… I heard about that,” Twilight said. She had likely withdrawn into herself on that one, her next words arriving in a voice so quiet that Cadance couldn’t make out what she had even said.
“I know I saw her here!” Velvet cried. “My poor Twilight was always infatuated with that awful woman, and look at where it got her! Oh, I wish she’d thrown Cadance out with the rest of the trash and let her rot! Disgusting bitch, I bet she was doing all sorts of horrid things to my little girl behind everyone’s backs. If I ever get my hands on her again…
All thoughts of potentially helping were thrown out the window along with what little remained of her dignity. Was this what Velvet had thought of her in those days after, she wondered? The cold chill that coursed through her bones wasn’t unjustified; if she had been any more improper with Twilight than she'd been, some of the accusations might have had merit. Legal though their trysts had been the scandal and shame was bad enough. And she’d done so much to justify this sort of hatred.
The new sound of the front door opening met her ears along with the sound of footsteps; Rain appeared from around the corner, rushing in and placing her tote bag in the kitchen before returning to greet Cadance. “Good mor-”
A frantic shake of her head and a grimace were enough to silence the friendly caretaker, Rain quickly cottoning on that something was not at ease. A quick glance into the bedroom and beyond before coming beside Cadance to be given the news.
“She’s having a rough morning,” Cadance whispered, hoping her voice wouldn’t carry over the sound of water splashing. “And she’s mad at me right now.”
“You didn’t do anything, did you?”
“A long time ago,” Cadance admitted, desperately hoping that Velvet wouldn’t repeat the ordeal aloud once more. “She doesn’t really recognize Twilight, either. Thinks that Twilight’s still in college.”
Rain pulled a face, the long sigh escaping her lips in a quiet stream before she gave herself a small shake. “We can work with that for now,” she murmured. “But… we might have to try another day to tell her if she doesn’t improve.”
“Twilight could use a break.”
Rain nodded and headed towards the bathroom, her solemn visage brightening as she caught sight of Velvet sitting in the tub. “Good morning, Miss Velvet! How are we today?”
“This woman’s doing a terrible job of helping me, and she keeps lying about being my daughter!” Velvet answered, “as if I’d want such a horrid thing to be my child! About as useless as-”
Rain did her best to try and soothe Velvet’s outburst, calming words and professional experience a better match than what Twilight’s wounded spirit could currently contend with. It was of little surprise to Cadance when the spectacled woman headed to the kitchen where she could be out of sight; to her credit, at least she hadn’t run.
“I’m sorry,” Cadance breathed, following after her bride and trying to put her arms about the distressed figure. “You did a wonderful job keeping your cool, you really did. None of that was your fault.”
“You’re sorr- Love, I am…” Twilight was trembling in Cadance’s embrace, each breath a sucking of air as she tried to hold back the tears that begged to be shed. “You know she didn’t mean what she said about you, I know that must have been awful to hear. She just… I remember-”
“Twilight…” Cadance shushed the panicked words into silence. Keeping her own breath in a slow, even rhythm so as to give Twilight something to match, she did what she could to help stop the overflow. “She thought it once. It’s OK, she…” A small gulp to help swallow down the shame. “Velvet had reason to think that back then. I’m sorry. What she said about you wasn’t fair at all.”
Unable to speak and only capable of a shaky nod, Twilight bit hard upon her lip as her features threatened to crumple. It had been easier to focus upon the insult of another than to deal with her own wounds, but Cadance had simply batted that effort away. To look upon your own mother and see no light of recognition in her eyes…
“She’s just having a bad day,” Twilight managed to choke out. “That’s all.”
“I’ll fix breakfast. Give yourself a moment,” Cadance suggested. “Rain’s looking after her, she’s OK right now. Take a quick break.”
A slow, shuddering breath and Twilight assented, staying her departure for only a moment so as to give her beloved an embrace in return.
It would not be the last outburst Velvet had before day’s end, and none were easier for her daughter to endure. Cantankerous at breakfast and struggling with the utensils, denying her medication out of fear that it were poison; continuously voiced discomfort as she sat before the TV, constantly on the lookout for a sight of the one she despised more than any other. Cadance, continuously trying to keep things smooth behind the scenes, could only marvel at Rain’s and Twilight’s patience- poor, sweet, constantly wounded Twilight, given only flashes throughout the day that her mother was still somewhere within that unhappy husk. It seemed that the day would be little more than a marathon of voiced displeasure and unhappiness that drained them all of energy.
When the sun began to at last flash its dying rays somewhere beyond the skyline did Velvet’s ill temper begin to subside; bright blues turned soft, tinged with pink and orange as the fall weather brought forth an early sunset. Perhaps wearied even by her own irritableness, Velvet’s words ceased their continued muttering and a wearied silence fell upon the exhausted group of women.
Daring to peek about the corner of the living room, Cadance found the three women sitting amongst themselves, Rain poring over the numerous work calls that had arrived and gone unanswered throughout her busy day while Twilight sat beside her mother and let the images on the muted TV pass before their eyes. Perhaps sensing this newest presence, Twilight was roused from her own mind and caught sight of her, a nod given so as to answer Cadance’s query; she would not be a source of distress any longer.
“Your bed’s all nice and clean, Velvet,” Cadance said, gentle words arriving in a murmur as she settled herself into an ancient armchair. “And I made sure to make your pillows extra fluffed up, so hopefully you’ll be nice and comfortable when you go to bed this time.”
Not even a glance in her direction. Velvet stared blankly at the TV without regard for anything in her world, lost in the mire of her mind and deaf to whatever else could hope to pull her out of it. Twilight looked at her mother in the hopes that she might see a response, but was granted not even a twitch. With a sigh, she extracted her phone and began to flip through its contents, the soft sounds of music filtering into the room as the notes of a piano’s melody began to play.
For a few moments longer, there was only the calming sound that was a salve to their spirits. But then came unexpected movement; Velvet’s hands rose as though seeking out the keys and allowed her fingers to play along with the song, her head gently swinging left and right with the timing. No note came with ferocity or great feeling, bearing little more than a tranquility that was found in moonlit nights of spring of childhood days. With each new tone came further life from Velvet’s once-empty eyes, her hands still playing along upon a keyboard only she could find; a young girl’s long-forgotten joy that had been burned away in constant tribulation had suddenly returned in the midst of her decaying days, summoning forth a life that was now all but lost save only to one.
She felt the tears sting her eyes long before she felt them stream down her face. Not even when they had first met had Cadance seem Velvet like this. Upon the old woman’s face was a serenity and happiness that had no words to describe it, her dim and melancholy world lost as she was transported by ivory into sweetened memory. If the keys had truly been before her than she would have played wonderfully, not a note to be found absent. A skill never seen in all their days had been brought back to life for one last time, and the joy it so freely gave was not to be denied.
As soon as it had come, the sweet notes of moonlight departed and Velvet’s hands fell back in her lap. The joy that had glowed in her eyes fell away, clouded by sentience that knew only despair. She looked about for a sight or sound that she had once knew and found so little to recognize, all trappings of the safe world she had known as a little girl long passed and never to be found again. And so she broke, tears coming to her eyes and beginning their painful streak across aged cheeks. “This is all wrong,” she gasped.
Twilight failed to keep the hurt from her features, reaching out and giving her mother’s wrist a gentle squeeze. She had only meant to give comfort, not bring about this wretched unhappiness.
“I don’t want to feel like this anymore,” Velvet said. “I miss my Daddy, I miss my Momma… I just want it to stop.” The tears fell in thick droplets now, her grief crashing down in a horrid weight. Crumpling into herself, she could only let her pain flow freely until it chose to subside, a continuous flow of tremors even as her daughter tried to soothe them away.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Twilight whispered. Tear-stained, unable to heal her mother’s hurt, she could only watch as this moment of horrible self-awareness continued on. “You’re just having a bad day, it’s OK…”
“It is not OK!” Velvet hiccupped. “You shouldn’t see me like this, and everything I’ve said- and Cadance!” She suddenly whipped around, looking upon her companion and pleading for forgiveness. “I shouldn’t have, I am- it’s all wrong !”
The two women settled themselves beside her and let Velvet’s sorrow run its course, merely holding her in their arms as she continued to sob. The hurt was a palpable, pulsating thing that Cadance felt crash into her, both mother and daughter struck at their core and unable to find relief. Try as she might to retain some measure of strength, her own tears would simply not cease their flow, shed on behalf of a pain that rain too deep.
“I want…” Velvet tried to regain her self-control, clinging to her sober mind with all her might. “You can’t see me like this ever again.”
Twilight began to turn pale at this sudden, stiffened will. “Mom..?”
“You can’t see me like this. I need to go- somewhere,” Velvet continued. “Away. Just- just put me in a home somewhere and don’t you ever come to visit, do you hear me? Don’t you ever see me because it’s only gonna be worse and worse every single time.”
“Mom- of course not!” Twilight protested. “We’ll come visit as much as we can, of course we would! Like we’d ever just abandon you, don’t even think that!”
Velvet bit her lip as more droplets added their mark. “Sweetheart, I wouldn’t be there to see you,” she managed to say at last. “I’m not… I’m barely here now.”
Cadance had never hurt so much for someone as when she saw Twilight try, and fail, to deny the statement. Unable to prevent the inevitable any longer, the loss of her mother was not to be a singular moment of pain but instead a long, miserable ordeal that would go on until at last even death would be seen as relief from suffering. Velvet was clinging to what little strength of will remained and used it to give this last, desperate plea.
“It’ll be OK for you to go,” Velvet whispered, reaching up to stroke along the contours of her daughter's face with doting tenderness. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. So you let me go, and then you never look back. You never, ever look back, do you understand me?”
“But you’re my Mom ,” Twilight breathed, perhaps needing to give one last protest against this horrific fate that she could not endure nor avoid. “I can’t just leave.”
Velvet gave a watery smile and embraced her daughter one last time, unable to do any more than offer what little strength that still remained in her frail form and let it be passed on, hoping that it would say all the words she no longer knew how to say.
Author's Note
There's few things that hurt worse than seeing one who loved you leave, one memory at a time.
Enjoy, I guess. Keep reading. Sorry for being gone so long it's been... rough.
A Friend At The End of The World
Twilight was trying her best to pay attention to the words she was meant to be typing into the computer before her eyes. It wasn’t the most momentous memo she’d ever written in her life, but this sort of thing was her job. She should be more attentive than the current amount she was willing to sacrifice for its sake. There were plenty of reasons to be proud of her work, to take care and make efforts to do her best.
But God help her, she couldn’t make the slightest effort now. When there was enough shame to flood a city somehow all stored within her tiny body, paying attention to something as stupid as work seemed a little useless. But how could she be ashamed when there was so much frustration that needed to be sorted out also? It wasn’t like she didn’t have reason to be aggravated, after all; her initial reaction had been right on the nose! Cadance needn’t have reacted so poorly even if- well, maybe it hadn’t been said in the most cordial of manners. And then came her reply to Cadance’s overreaction, and then it had descended into an actual argument, and then she’d said- said-
The frustration, ingrained sense of egotism that never faded from any soul no matter their maturity, demanded that she continue her self-righteous tirade. Cadance shouldn’t have overreacted; but it wasn’t like Twilight had helped soothe her fretting spirit. And how she’d finished their argument…
The studious woman let an unhappy sigh escape her spirit and stream into the world, too distant from her bride to have even a hope of immediate reconciliation and leaving her with little option than but to stew in her disappointment. In the grand scheme of things, they probably hadn’t been married for all that long- at least compared to some. But she knew Cadance intimately, and her words had been summoned so as to best inflict a wound; no matter the circumstances, that was unacceptable behavior. Never, ever should she seek satisfaction in the intentional hurting of the one she loved.
Twilight returned to her work and tried to lose herself in the flurry of keystrokes she dealt, a hollowed pit in her stomach settling in for the long day. It would be many hours to go before she saw Cadance again, able to try and correct her all-too-willful mistake. Best that she simply keep focused on the long list of tasks ahead than spend more time moping. And this work was important; Celestia had wanted a directive sent out for the school regarding the upcoming holiday schedule, a few key reminders and celebrations that awaited both staff and student body. She was close to done, but just couldn’t quite figure how she wanted to word that last sentence. Something about it just didn’t seem right to her, but heaven knew if she’d be able to know just what.
A knock on the door came, gentle raps against thick wood; Twilight glanced up and recognized the silhouette immediately. “Come in,” she called.
The luster of her locks had faded in recent years, that resplendent sheen she’d once possessed muted and dulled by the wearings of time. Her eyes still shone bright with that gleam of humor, but the lines beneath them were filling in and becoming stark. There were wrinkles where she’d once been smooth, and small sags in a form that had always been kept slender and shapely. But the smile Celestia so often wore had no dulled edge or strain upon it, her sharp mind and gentle heart having only become more so as her years continued to mind. She’d been a wonderful boss to Twilight for years now as well as a dear friend. It had been one of the easiest decisions of her life to succeed Luna in her role as Vice-Principal; when this wonderful person was with whom she worked and worked for, why would she ever want to leave?
Too slow to change her expression to something less drab, Celestia’s sharp gaze caught sight of her friend’s morose visage and zeroed in. “You were in a grumpy mood this morning, too,” she remarked as she entered Twilight’s office. “What’s on your mind?”
“It’s nothing,” Twilight answered, unwilling to bear testimony of her mistakes just yet. “Here, I’m almost done with that memo, I just… something about this last sentence feels off to me, can you take a look?”
“You can just send it to me and I’ll take care of it,” Celestia said. “Thank you for getting that done, I know it’s not really your usual fare.”
Twilight shrugged. “It’s no big deal. You asked me to help.”
Celestia bit her lip to hold back her laughter; Twilight did her best to avoid receiving any compliment that flew anywhere near her general direction, a humility that was always on the verge of becoming self-deprecation. “You could just say ‘you’re welcome’ and let it be,” the older woman teased. “It won’t hurt you to take a compliment, I promise.”
“I’m not trying to do anything, I just… did what you asked me to do!” She couldn’t fathom why this woman was being so insistent about something so small, the silliness of it enough to bring a small, incredulous smile to her face.
Her employer, however, seemed only spurred on by her denial. “And it’s very much appreciated. That’s all! You don’t even have to say anything if you don’t want to,” Celestia said. “Is something really on your mind right now, Twilight? I’m being serious.”
How much did she want to say aloud? This wasn’t a person she wanted to lie to. “A little- I mean… yeah. Why?”
It was the honest answer, albeit still vague. A trickle had revealed itself, the first sign that a damn was set to burst. “Because you’ve looked miserable and your smile just a bit ago was the first I’ve seen on your face all day and it’s almost noon. You OK?”
“I…” Her pride was getting in the way of healing, the venom begging to be drained from her seeping wound. Why be so proud when Celestia had been such a source of wisdom? “We had a fight. And I messed up.”
Celestia closed the door behind her and took a seat in the corner chair, sliding down to a more relaxed position so as to better listen. This was not a workplace conversation but chatter between friends, and courtesy dictated she act as such.
“I… so she might not really want me to say a lot about it,” Twilight hesitated, “But she’s… Cadance had to start using some hair coloring earlier this year, and it’s sort of- you know how she is. Likes to moan about how she’s getting old, wants to say she’s ugly and withered up.”
Three years Cadance’s senior and plenty experienced in the realms of an aging body, the same mindset taking root in another brought a smirk. Hardly fun, and easy to make one feel decrepit; of course Twilight’s bride struggled against it when her beauty had remained untarnished for so long. “Even though she’s clearly fine, I’m assuming is your thought on this?”
“Of course! You’ve seen her, it’s ridiculous to think anything else,” Twilight replied. “I’m forty, it’s not like I’m faring a whole lot better, either. She looks amazing, it’s just what happens. But she gets so worked up about stupid stuff like that and it gets her frustrated and she starts moaning, and…” She held her tongue and could only groan, the memory of what had transpired next still burning fierce against her mind. “She was fussing about some gray hair- or something stupid like that, and… I told her to stop whining and not let it bother her-”
“Oh no.”
“And she snapped back saying it was easy for me cause I was still pretty, and it just got worse and worse and… and I got up to leave as I called her a- a miserable old bat,” Twilight confessed, the last three words leaving a horrid sting with their departure.
Celestia groaned aloud, amazed that her demure, tranquil friend could ever have the gall to say something so intentionally callous. “Twilight, come on !”
“I know,” Twilight groaned.
“Why’d you even say that? You know that was going to make her feel even worse.”
“I was frustrated! I was right when I said she should stop whining- she’s beautiful, even if she doesn’t think so.”
“And that’s how you chose to deal with it?” Celestia seemed genuinely shocked by the admission, intentional cruelty such a clash with the gentlehearted Twilight she’d known for years; this woman had once been one of her school’s counselors, for heaven’s sake! “Twilight, I understand being frustrated, but there are betters ways of getting Cadance to stop being down on herself!”
“I know , jeez! I’m not stupid, I’m just… an idiot.” Yet again feeling the pricklings of frustration within her skull, the spectacled beauty found herself trying to best explain herself. She was so ashamed of her actions, yet no one seemed to understand that she’d only had the best intentions. “Why should I let Cadance lie to herself like that?”
“It’s not about what Cadance was saying. You just helped make her feel worse,” Celestia said. “If she was upset, why didn’t you try and talk her out of it?”
“Because she’s like this all the time. She’s always trying to say how old and awful she looks,” Twilight explained. “I don’t know if she’s fishing for compliments or just is down on herself like she’s so good at doing. I don’t want her to talk about herself like that because it hurts me, too.”
“There. There’s how you get her to stop. That’s what you should have started with,” Celestia said, the solution seemingly so obvious to her that she couldn’t understand why a mind such as Twilight’s hadn’t seen it first. “I just- Twilight, I just don’t get it. That’s not like you at all.”
“I- I know. I know, I know,” Twilight snapped, her frustration only mounting as the chiding continued. “I get it. I just don’t know why you’re saying that it’s OK for Cadance to bad-mouth herself and me do nothing.”
“I’m not saying that, I’m just- just…” Celestia’s argument sputtered and the woman sank her face into her hands, a deep, slow intake of breath arriving before just as slowly departing her aging frame. “Twilight, you have no idea how much I wish I had your problems.”
Twilight felt her breath take a small catch, the unexpected words jostling her out of her current mood. There was intensity in Celestia’s voice, a sorrow in her grief so strong that there may well be bitterness within it. All her life she had seen this woman as an unflappable, unbreakable paragon of serenity. She held joy in her heart, laughter quick to come to life on her tongue- yet here she was, displaying a painful, palpable hurt that had been buried so deep.
Celestia returned from the depths of her palms and upon her face was the same distress that burned in her voice, looking about as though trying to find comfort in the midst of the moment. “I just… I wanted so badly to get married. It was something I dreamed of when I was a girl. And now look at me,” she said, a small wave of a bare hand to the empty world that surrounded her in a school to which she had dedicated so much of her life. “So much for that dream.”
It was an intimate confession, unexpected and definitely heartfelt. “Celestia, I never knew-”
“It was easier when Luna was still around. I could be a fun aunt for Nova,” Celestia continued, “be a good sister to Luna finally. But it’s just… it’s all so quiet now.” There was a hearty sniff that came soon after, a glistening on those jeweled eyes. “I’m happy for you, Twilight. God help me, I am so happy for you both. You’re the only family I’ve got here. And you just- you have a good life , you actually married the girl you always dreamed of- and Cadance is happy! She’s actually happy because of you, Twilight, not just always seeking something to keep her from being bored or being afraid of something. I know it’s not the way you thought it would be, but you’re actually happy and you’ve got a good life and just-” Celestia’s voice reached its breaking point, a choking sob blocking further words from adding to the spill as the aggrieved woman looked about for something to help her recenter.
Twilight wasn’t sure what she meant by it all; just the fact that this tirade had come at all was shocking enough. She’d always known Celestia to be contented with her lot, no matter the circumstance. But the passion with which she spoke ran deep, suggesting that perhaps she had deferred her own desires for so much of her life and found out that she very well might do just that for the rest of it, too. Reflecting on her own path, Twilight wondered just how little would have to change for her to have ended up walking down the same road- and found her heart twisting in sympathy.
“I would give anything to know what that feels like,” Celestia mumbled, her voice returning in the shape of a low, unhappy crawl. “But I can’t. So I’m really glad you do, and just- be gentle with each other, Twilight. OK? You and Cadance are on the same side.”
She didn’t know what to say in the face of such words beyond a mere nod. Twilight felt almost ashamed that she had even been able to witness it, the admission of such a private, despairing daydream from someone she so deeply admired a strange amalgamation of sorrow and guilt. She’d been so fortunate over the years to have enjoyed life and love with Cadance, the thought of her presence absent from her life unimaginable. She and her gentlehearted bride had shaped the world of one another more powerfully than any other could ever hope to match; the thought of such wonders and joys never occurring were bonechilling.
“Thank you for getting that memo done, Twilight. I’ll let you get back to whatever else you need to do.” Celestia gave her body a vigorous shake and wiped away the salt streaks from her face, trying to regain the serene, professional demeanor she always seemed to possess. Looking down at her companion with a smile, she said, “Sorry for taking up your time.”
“Thanks for listening,” Twilight replied in a voice so quiet that she was surely unheard, watching as her mentor and friend stepped out the door and into the halls, shoulders sagging from the weight of years spent in a painful loneliness.
Twilight was surprised to see that she was the last one home, Cadance’s car already in its place within the garage and devoid of activity. Considering their previous arguments, she’d expected to arrive to an empty nest as her bride tended to linger rather than returning to the scene of the accident. Just how was this going to go when she was the one who would have to intrude?
“Just apologize, for goodness’ sake,” Twilight muttered, the answer painfully obvious. “You screwed up, you hurt her feelings, and you just plain botched it. So own up to it!” It would have to be a genuine apology, too; they’d both long ago decided that the halfhearted “Sorry you were offended” or its ilk were disingenuous and only added to the hurt; only utmost honesty would remedy this ill.
There was a clatter of noise in the kitchen that suggested Cadance’s presence, slow footsteps trodding across linoleum as the microwave hummed in the background. Twilight found herself wondering if she’d taken the last of the white chili; that had been hers to eat, not- well. Perhaps it didn’t matter after all, considering things. It was too unimportant a thing to be mad about, anyway.
She found the beautiful woman shoulders-deep into the fridge, Cadance’s lovely figure sagging with weariness that came from both within and without. As she retreated from the cool interior with a bag of cheese in hand, Cadance took note of present company and eyes hardened at the sight of Twilight standing there, a frown immediately growing on her features.
Not the best beginning to a necessary conversation, but it could have been worse. Standing there at the threshold with lunch bag in hand, the brilliant woman knew she’d have to be the one who got the ball rolling. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey.” Cadance’s tone was guarded, spirit prepared to guard against further injury. Not unjustifiable, considering circumstances.
A small shuffle of her feet. “So… I, uh- I wanted-”
Cadance knew exactly to where her bride led and stopped their travel down the road before it could begin. “No,” she said flatly, promptly turning her back on Twilight and returning to the preparation of her meal.
So that was how she was going to behave? It had been all day, how could she still be so willingly angry about this? It wasn’t like Twilight wanted to add more salt to the wound, she had wanted to see it made right! “Oh come on , I just was gonna say that I’m-”
She felt the same prickling in her mind and that deep, innate desire to become angry. Here she went again, unconsciously becoming the aggressor. If she continued to speak, then it would only make things worse; as much as Twilight wished otherwise, the only choice she could make that would not continue this bitterness further would be to let Cadance run out of steam. But oh, how difficult that choice was! Biting her tongue, hand still balled into a fist as she pushed back against her desire to speak. She could even feel Cadance’s hardened gaze upon her as she struggled, waiting for the moment when her beloved would lash out and reignite their feud.
A slow, deliberate exhalation of breath and the tranquil beauty remained as such; she would not act yet, not until Cadance was ready to listen. Forcing the issue was not the way to solve this, much as Twilight didn’t like it. “OK, then,” she managed, “nevermind for now. I’m gonna go take a shower.”
It wasn’t the expected course of action, Cadance raising an eyebrow at her spouse’s willful hold upon her temper. There had been many more reasons to believe their fight would continue, seeing as each of them could be so persistent. This truce wasn’t their usual form. “OK.”
Few words were said for the rest of the evening, even if the beautiful couple occupied the same room. Small glances would pass by, quick flickers and gestures towards one another that would amount to nothing. Awkwardness reigned- at least in Twilight’s eyes. She so desperately wanted to be back in Cadance’s good graces and see their usual comfort restored. But she was the perpetrator, not the victim; it would only be by her bride’s will that this matter be resolved, and this time she would not push. After all, it would only wound the both of them if she made matters worse.
Nightime and the call for slumber was a relief for them both, the two quietly retreating back to the bedroom one after another. Twilight wondered if she should have gone to bed first and allow Cadance the chance to fully ignore her. Or was giving her the opportunity to possess the bed first the better choice? It was just as likely that she was overthinking this and neither was wrong in of itself.
But then again, was even going to sleep in the same bed a good idea, or would Cadance find it as a cavalier disregard of her own feelings? The amount of choices she could screw up here! Twilight half-expected to receive a reprimand as she slid in beneath the bedsheets and picked up her book, yet found herself only receiving silence as Cadance played Sudoku on her tablet. Perhaps she wasn’t doing everything wrong after all.
The distance between the two was noticeable. Cadance was a physically affectionate soul, always close beside her bride if not practically atop her. Yet now between them was a sizeable gap, Cadance keeping well to her side of the king-size and acting as though the weight to her side was nonexistent. A quick glance over showed that the hardened look in her eyes had faded, even if the wounded look had not.
A slow, steady blink. Twilight looked back down at her book and realized she’d hardly made any progress across a single page. Perhaps, with her mind so distracted by various other things, reading anything was a lost cause. “I’m turning off the light,” she announced, sliding her novel back into the nightstand.
“OK,” Cadance replied, glancing at the time on the corner of her tablet. “It’s late, anyway.” As the darkness consumed the room, her dull pale light soon followed suit and disappeared to leave them both in the black of night, the quiet between them willed and weary.
Perhaps she shouldn’t say anything. “… Cadance?”
“Mhm?”
“I understand if you’re still mad at me,” Twilight mumbled. It wasn’t an apology- at least she hoped. Maybe an acknowledgement and acceptance of her wife’s feelings was a good way to start.
“I’m… not mad at you,” Cadance replied. “Maybe- maybe a little. But not really.”
“Oh.” Silence took its pause. “OK.”
“We’ll talk more tomorrow,” the sweetfaced woman breathed, slipping down further beneath the bedsheets and turning on her side. “Goodnight.”
So many nights had come and gone when the last words she would hear were “I love you” from her cherished bride. But perhaps tonight when there was still an open wound, such words might sting a little. “Love you, too,” Twilight mumbled nonetheless, and soon drifted off into the realm between time and space.
Her early awakening was not of an alarm to rouse her mind from the dreaming world; perhaps her subconscious, still stinging from yesterday’s regret, hastened her departure from slumber and saw Twilight wide awake in their darkened bedroom. A quick check on the clock on her phone said that it was about fifteen minutes before her alarm was to ring; it wouldn’t even be worth it to go back to sleep at this point.
Coffee called to her more than anything at this early point in the morning, the piping warmth of caffeine crucial to her daily survival. Begin to awaken, stir her stomach into a need for hunger and- Make Cadance something first .
The thought came alongside the image of her still-slumbering bride who still lay upstairs, fast asleep beneath the sheets. Maybe it would help if she cooked something up as a token of goodwill. It surely couldn’t hurt, right? There was some pancake mix in the pantry that needed to get used up soon before it went bad…
The extra fifteen minutes was put to good use by Twilight’s estimation, the quiet task of making breakfast pairing wonderfully with her snickerdoodle blend to liven up her morning. Even the thin rays of the morning sun were creeping in as she gave the flapjacks a swift flip to give the kitchen a serene air. She wasn’t the best of cooks, but breakfast meals had become her specialty- and were even fun to make.
The sound of footsteps on the stairwell alerted Twilight to her bride’s awakening, a tussle-haired Cadance making her appearance and looking as though she’d left part of her consciousness still resting on the pillow. “Mmf … pancakes?” She mumbled.
“Chocolate chip,” Twilight replied, sliding the two freshest of her batch onto a nearby plate, two slices of bacon already atop and awaiting its compliment. “Butter’s out on the table.”
The lovely woman’s features became mystified at the sight of the offered meal, bleary eyes darting between plate and person as she deciphered its meaning. With memory of yesterday morning still fresh, the connection was not hard to make; that tired, beautiful face began to harden.
Twilight felt her heart sink. Did Cadance think this was a bribe? She just wanted to be nice to her wife and see their discord come to an end! Please don’t still be mad …
The clouded expression fell away just as quickly as it had arrived, some logic in Cadance’s mind settling itself as she took the plate with a mumbling, “Thank you.” Slow on her feet, she shuffled over to the table and sank down in preparation to eat, only to rise back up as she realized she had left her coffee-
“I’ve got it,” Twilight said, leaning over to grab a mug and see their meal begin.
The rest of the morning passed by swiftly, the two working women too occupied with getting ready for the day to have much time to spend in conversation. There was still a friction to be dealt with, but their truce still retained the measure of peace that had fallen on them. The time to make apologies for behavior was yet to come.
“I might be back late today, I’ve got a few things that need to get done before I leave but some parents asked for a meeting with me this afternoon,” Cadance reported, the two fully dressed and making their way downstairs once more.
“Know what it’s about?” Twilight asked.
“Probably about all that trouble Cinch tried to cause way back. There’s at least one person who finds out about it every year and wants to ‘demand the truth’ from me or something. Doubt it’ll ever end even when I’m retired. I’ll be getting calls in a nursing home soon enough.”
It wasn’t a pleasant guess, but likely an honest one. Cadance’s record did hold within it a public reprimand from the school board and her place as principal for one of the state’s top schools made such a thing a black mark on her career. She had thankfully not been removed from Crystal Prep because of it, but her progression had come to a halt ever since; there was no ladder for Cadance to climb any longer because of her mistakes.
Twilight reached out and gave her wife’s hand a squeeze, instinct to comfort overriding the gap between them. She knew Cadance still held some measure of shame for her actions even if who she was now was a far cry from then. “They’ve got no reason to worry. You’re the best leader that school’s ever had, and they’ll leave knowing it.”
To her surprise, Cadance didn’t jerk her hand away but instead gave small pressure in return. “And the most controversial, too,” she reminded her bride.
“But still the best. Please don’t doubt that one. OK?”
Cadance gave a half-hearted smile, noncommittal to any action just yet. “You’re always on my side, aren’t you?”
Considering yesterday’s actions, Twilight wasn’t quite so eager to boast about her dedication just yet. “I try to be,” she allowed. “… and I didn’t really mean what I said yesterday.”
“I know you didn’t,” came the reply, Cadance leaning over and kissing her bride. “See you tonight, OK?”
“OK. Have a good day!” And so the two women departed for places so familiar, a long day awaiting them before they would be reunited again.
Twilight found herself more at ease than the day prior, but still just as distracted. She wanted to give her bride a genuine apology, but also to understand why she’d gotten upset in the first place; understanding was needed if the two were to avoid such a pitfall in the future. She loved Cadance, adored everything about her, her heart melted at the sight of that beautiful angel walking her way; to hear that same sweet being deride herself was more than Twilight’s spirit could take. If it wounded Cadance, then it wounded her also. She needed think of a way to say that- and make it make sense! But as the day rolled on all the more, the sensible side of the brilliant woman’s mind realized that preparing any sort of speech or specific word would be utterly useless. Better to have herself in the proper headspace and be willing to listen than to be insistent about saying anything in particular.
“Twilight- earth to Twilight, goodness,” rang the clear voice of Celestia, cutting through her cacophony of typistry to rouse the brilliant woman from her work. “You’re all wound up, I’ve been at the door for a whole minute calling your name.”
“Sorry- sorry! Yes, what is it?” Twilight said, turning from her screen. She’d been half-concentrated, half-dreaming about Cadance all day. It was the closest she’d felt to being a schoolgirl in decades at this point.
Celestia, in credit to her graciousness, only laughed. “You really are the same lovestruck girl I knew when you were young,” she remarked, somehow able to easily guess what was on her young VP’s mind. “I don’t know what you’d do if Cadance wasn’t in your life. How on earth would you survive?”
It must have been so obvious on her face, yet not once had it occurred to her that her inner thoughts might be on public display. “Am- jeez, am I that obvious?”
“Wonderfully so,” Celestia said. “Enough to make me a little envious. I came over because I needed to ask you to join me for a staff meeting once school’s out, can I count on you to mentally be there?”
“I’m not that bad!” Twilight protested, aghast and angered that someone would dare to assume she couldn’t concentrate on something important. But then again, considering the circumstances- “I… I think.”
Celestia didn’t even bother to laugh, the truthful answer so obvious that to mention it would be embarrassing for them both. “I think we need to make a few changes to the holiday schedule. How does this look..?”
The day was comfortable, swift in its procession and allowing the sun to fall deep on the horizon. It wasn’t until she was well on her way home that Twilight realized just how cleverly Celestia had helped to keep her mind occupied. With plenty of work to do and other people to attend to, she had been forced to focus on a variety of things rather than stewing in her worry and suffer through a cacophony of imagined nightmares for no reason. The real Cadance was too important to be marred by the conjurings of her mind, given false arguments that would never see the light of day. It was a gentle act, given in support of one who had never- never…
Twilight entered into her empty home and wondered what it would be like to know that no one would follow after. To stride through into quiet space and know for sure that the only footsteps that would fall here would be her own. How could you withstand the silence when it would be all that lasted? Celestia had a rather spacious, comfortable house; to live within it and never hear the sight nor sound of another had to be torturous. Why had she bought in the first place? She’d had to have known it would sound so empty.
Unless she didn’t want it to be that way , Twilight thought, and she felt her spirit twist in sympathy for her friend. I guess she thought it wouldn’t really be empty for very long. And now… It was unimaginable a pain to endure, one the brilliant woman had not ever known through the whole of her life; everywhere she had ever been was filled with the presence and life of others, even from the very beginning in the broken home where she'd been raised. To spend so much of your life with such sights and sounds and comforts being absent-! Oh, Cellie, I am so sorry. I hope you… I hope you meet your dream girl soon- and that she’s got big, fat titties .
The world within her mind was shattered at the sound of the garage door closing, Cadance striding through the darkened threshold and into her spacious home, even daring to smile at the sight of Twilight resting there in the living room. “Hey,” she greeted, her tone mild yet friendly as she took in her bride. “It was a long day for me, hope it was better for you. I had one father actually bring in news clippings like I couldn’t remember what had… Love, you OK?”
Twilight hadn’t even noticed the action had occurred before her beloved caught sight of it; a pair of thick tears had fallen from beneath the brim of her glasses, soaking thin lines across her skin and beckoning for attention. But as Cadance’s words roused her, so she tried to recompose her spirit and find the will to speak. “Princess, did- how long did you have this house before I showed up?”
Cadance hadn’t expected the question and was left befuddled by the presence of it. Uncertain of how to yet respond, the lovely woman set her bags down against the wall and crept over to find a seat beside her beloved, the two soon hand-in-hand and finding comfort in the presence of the other. “A few years, I guess,” Cadance answered. “I think it was the year after I got promoted to Dean under Cinch, so… maybe a year or two before you got to high school? Why, what makes you ask?”
“I guess- I just can’t imagine how awful it’d be to come home to an empty house every day,” Twilight said. “And you’re not coming home, and it’ll just be me, and everything- it’s all just wrong,” she finished weakly. “I don’t know what I’d do.”
Cadance could only be left confused by the remark, but tended to her bride’s sorrowful spirit with all tenderness just the same. “Well, I guess, that… I know I’m glad I get to come home to you,” she said. “And it really does feel like home, and- oh, Twilight, you don’t need to cry!” For her spectacled spouse had indeed begun to weep, a true blubbering flowing from her eyes as her spirit crumbled and fell into the dust. “It’s alright, it’s alright…”
“I’m a horrible spouse, that is not alright !” Twilight said hotly, tears burning against her fair skin. “I-”
“Horrible? Twilight, are you kidding me? You can’t actually be serious right now!” Cadance protested, taking the words as though an insult. “You’re amazing, this- this has to be a joke or something!”
“But I’m awful! Look at me, for heaven’s sake!” Twilight cried, in absolute freefall and nowhere close to controlling herself. “I made you feel terrible because I couldn’t even be nice to you and help you feel better, and-”
“Wait. Sweetheart, is this about our fight the other day?” Cadance asked.
“Of course it is! I called you a horrid name and I know you’re still mad at me and I shouldn’t have even been that mean at all and-”
“Twilight, oh my goodness, be quiet!” Cadance’s words came with laughter trembling within them and a force to the tone all the same, struggling against mirth and emotion as she called out in the hopes of soothing her wife’s struggle against a meltdown. “You’re supposed to be the logical one, remember? It’s alright, we make mistakes- it’s not like I don’t forgive you, of course I do! We both got upset, that’s all-”
Whatever hopes there had been in preventing a complete collapse were lost within a matter of a second; Twilight’s mind swiftly returned to the source of this current struggle and recalled each word spoken, the emotion and memory within them suddenly burning hot. “Well then you’d better shuttup about yourself!” She snapped. “Because if you talk about yourself like you’re old and ugly and I don’t fantasize about you naked every day then I’m gonna have a heart attack and I’m gonna get mad all over again! And then we’re gonna fight again and I’m gonna feel horrible and then we’ll just do this stupid awfulness over and over because I’m useless !”
Cadance was giving her best effort to be supportive, summoning the fullest of her sympathy as best she could and trying to cool the fires of Twilight’s overpowering emotions. It wasn’t as though this were the first time she’d had an emotional meltdown due to guilt; any big fight they ever had seemed to conclude with the younger beauty struggling against tears. And just as often, the eventual conclusion would be that Cadance could no longer control her exasperation and simply began laughing.
“It’s not funny! ” Twilight snapped, words falling thickly in response to her spouse’s sudden humor. “I’m trying to apologize because you were being horrible to yourself again! Take me seriously! ”
“I’m trying, I’m trying! I promise, really,” Cadance stammered, desperately fighting back against more chuckles overwhelming her tongue. “OK- OK! I’m back. But Love, you really need to calm down. It’s alright, it’s not the end of the world. I forgive you, I really do.”
“Oh, I never should have even got mad at you. I’m sorry,” Twilight moaned, wiping away her tears in the hopes of stemming the flow, “I was so stupid.”
“Well, I… I don’t think I was much better,” came Cadance’s concession. “You were trying to be nice-”
“Nice? ”
“- At first, and I just wanted to be pitiful. Which was stupid, too. So I guess I didn’t help much.” The sweet-faced woman gave a wry smile. “Just a bad habit.”
“I wish you’d stop it. I hate seeing you talk to yourself like that,” Twilight said. “You think it doesn’t hurt me to hear you say how horrible you are? It’s not even true! ”
“I mean, it’s sort of-”
“Cadance!” She threw her hands up in the air, pushed beyond exasperation at this continued insistence for self-deprecation. “I swear, do you even notice yourself doing it?”
Cadance released a soft sigh, caught in the act and unable to defend her actions. “I… OK. I’m sorry,” she said. “But thank you for apologizing. And wanting to make me feel better.”
“Don’t listen to whatever’s telling you it’s true. I know it’s not! And if you can’t believe it, then… come talk to me,” Twilight replied. “Don’t just sit there and hurt yourself. Please?”
“No promises,” was the older woman’s answer, Cadance’s tiny laugh following as her bride began to pout. “But I’ll try.”
“Then I’ll help. The next time you want to start being all pitiful, I’ll be right there. And I’ll- I’ll-”
“Please don’t play psychologist. I know it was your job but-”
What came next was a vicious kiss upon Cadance’s honeyed lips, Twilight suddenly leaping atop her and overwhelming the unsuspecting woman with her affections. Perhaps a bit overfirm, but the passion behind it! By instinct, the sweet-faced beauty wrapped her arms about her bride’s form and fell back against the pillows as they became lost in their now-peaceful, quiet love.
She broke away slowly from Twilight’s lips, the smallest of strings binding them together soon severed. “That might be a convincing argument,” Cadance remarked.
“I’m good at that. Sometimes,” Twilight teased, playing with a lock of Cadance’s hair as she leaned back in for further sugar, taking her time to truly soak in the flavor of her spouse and enjoy the moment. The coolness of their home, deep in the binds of winter, was beginning to warm up.
Hands ran beneath fabric and undid buttons, clothing coming off as the two women chose to run headlong into their suddenly-alight desire. Twilight found her breasts well-tended to by Cadance’s gentle grasp, small squeezes coming alongside plying fingers that sent shocks with every touch. Too long had they been together to not know what best pleasured the other, their lovemaking an artistry that continued to bind them further and further together.
“I love you,” Cadance whispered, her voice a happy murmur as she took in the pristine form of Twilight that lay atop her. Without blemish, without flaw, perfectly crafted and beautiful with a timeless grace that she could not hope to resist. This was her life, her heart of hearts, and how deeply she treasured this wonderful angel.
“Love you, too,” Twilight replied. “And just so you know, you’re still the hot one.”
“What? No way! Look at you, oh my gosh!”
“Oh, so you need convincing? ” Twilight replied, those brilliant eyes dazzling with growing mischief. “Well, mind if I say a few words?” Slipping down from atop her beloved’s naked body, the once-bookworm spread legs wide and into the delicacy of wondrous, dripping folds did she begin to make a few key statements.
Her voice sang to the heavens, Cadance unwilling to hold back her delights from her wife’s ears; they always did know how to make such beautiful music together.
Author's Note
I know it's not really an important chapter, but I liked it. Saccharine marriages don't exist, but happy ones do.
Keep reading, I guess.
A Friend At The End of The World
She was slow to get up from her place beneath the covers, the heavy warmth of the bedsheets enticing her to stay and rest a little further. Why go out into the cold misery of this wintry world? There was no reason to depart from this place just yet. Especially when her mind was still so dulled by slumber…
Cadance let bleary eyes look about her greyed bedroom, the weak sun outside not enough to grant her an illuminated world just yet. Had she woken up early, or were the clouds so thick that the rays of light could not find the strength to pierce through? But then again, why should she care? Better to just go back to bed. But even as she did nothing but lie in the warmth, she found her mind beginning to slowly awaken. Her senses were reporting on all functions, taking in her surroundings and what details she could gleam. What day was it, again? It was supposed to be something important, if she remembered right; goodness, she must be more tired than she’d realized-
The 1 st . January 1 st , Cadance remembered, the previous night brought to an early end due to her weariness. Too tired to stay up watching Twilight Zone or endure until the ball dropped; in fact, neither of them had even wanted to bother trying, she and Twilight more concerned with cuddling up beneath bedcovers than participating in an annual ritual. They’d actually gone to bed early on New Year’s Eve. Goodness, am I lame? Am I not cool now? Considering how so many of her students spoke in vernaculars she couldn’t even begin to start understanding, the idea that she’d remained cool up until last night was laughable. Cadance knew full well she hadn’t been cool in years now.
Though content to still rest in bed beside her still-sleeping bride, the call to awaken and rise was too much for the gentlehearted woman to resist any longer; slowly, with care so as to give her popping knees a little mercy, Cadance slipped out from beneath silk sheets and into her awaiting pair of slippers and headed to the stairs. The siren song of the holy bean juice summoned her to march towards the kitchen and begin preparations.
Fifteen minutes later, a plate neatly set with a buttered biscuit and a few slices of bacon, Cadance heard the slow shuffle of feet upon the staircase that gave warning to her beloved’s awakening. Twilight soon appeared and squinted as she was met by the kitchen lights, not fully sentient and certainly not ready to do anything but sip at a mug of coffee. “Mmf.”
“Good morning, sweetheart,” Cadance greeted, grabbing at her bride’s passing hand to bring her in close for a kiss. “Happy New Year.”
“Huh?” Twilight’s voice was more akin to a croak, one eyelid slightly puffier than the other. “Oh yeah…”
“I know, I really didn’t remember it when I first woke up either,” Cadance said. “There’s more bacon on the skillet, by the way.”
“Thank you.” The brilliant woman said little else for a time and silence was allowed to continue unabated; a little more to wait before real conversation could begin, minds fresh and alert more keen on talk than what they could both summon now.
Breakfast passed by without a word, the two women returning back to their bedroom so as to begin morning hygiene. Cadance found herself eyeing a particular part of her roots that was determined to go grey, reaching for product that would help hide its presence. She would age with dignity when the time came, and not a moment before; she had every right to be a little vain.
“Oof…” Twilight stepped out of the shower, soaked to the bone and beginning to shiver as warm flesh was met by the cold bite of the air. “So much for warming up.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot to raise the thermostat back up,” Cadance said, a small grimace of apology arising on her lips. “My bad, gimme just a sec-”
“It’s alright, I’m already up,” Twilight said, clutching tightly to her towel for what little covering she could manage as she darted down the stairs to the living room- reappearing just as quickly before rushing to dry herself down and find relief in heavier clothing. “Oh my gosh, it was almost 50 inside here!”
“It’s not supposed to go that low, though!” Cadance replied, realization setting in and she gave a groan. “Great, so that’s another thing we’ve got to fix.”
“The fan in the living room, we need to get in contact with that gutter guy before too long, and the bottom step on the deck needs replacing,” Twilight said, rattling off their list of household maintenance that continued to grow in expense. “Are we sure this winter wasn’t trying to break all our stuff on purpose?”
“I’m waiting for the roof to cave in when it snows again,” Cadance remarked drily.
“Oh, don’t even say it,” Twilight protested, shivering at the mere thought of such a disaster. “Gosh, can you imagine how much of a nightmare insurance would be to deal with?”
“It can’t be worse than what Pinkie and Sunset had when they wrecked their car last year.”
“That’s because Pinkie wasn’t paying attention and she wanted to argue- OK, hold on for a moment here,” the younger woman said, giving her wet mane a thorough shake as though trying to refocus. “Do we even hear ourselves?”
“What?”
“We’re talking about bills and house repairs, we skipped watching the ball drop last night,” Twilight mused, “Are we- good gosh, we really are getting old, aren’t we?”
Considering what she was trying to cover over with hairspray at the moment, Cadance could only offer up a wry smile. Getting old, already old, and soon to be even older; it was a painful, groaning process that continued to be harder with each passing year. Even sleeping could sometimes produce a bruise or injury with no explanation as to why. But still, every time Cadance awoke, there at her side would be the peaceful presence of the beautiful young woman she adored- getting older right alongside her with each passing day. And she’d been allowed the gift of experiencing it, day in and day out.
“Yeah, we are,” Cadance admitted. “But I guess it’s not so bad when it’s with you.”
Twilight gave a start at the remark. “That… is the most level-headed response you’ve ever had about aging.”
“You’re not even going to say ‘thank you’ or anything?” Cadance asked. “Goodness, that was a compliment!”
“But that’s normal, you being rational about time passing is kind of a novelty!”
“I’m rational about it.”
“You’re using hairspray!”
The teasing banter could easily become bitter and genuine if given enough poking and prodding, but each of them was in too fine a spirit to be eager for anger; their last off-day before the school semester began again was to be spent in happiness and rest for a little while longer. And maybe with a little love added in.
Though her time was meant to be spent elsewhere, Twilight found herself occupied with more important occupations than attending to leftover work or what emails had yet to be sent. Every now and then, distractions would find their way into her brain and see her attentions brought elsewhere; sure, the staff probably had a few questions about the end of the semester, or maybe some concerns regarding a student or two. What was she supposed to do about such things now, when she was at home and unable to say or do a thing that would enact any changes? This was supposed to be her private place, a retreat from the rest of the world- as Cadance so often eloquently put it, trying to tempt her beloved away from the screen of a laptop. Home was meant to be away from work, a place of safety and happiness. And, on occasion, physical pleasure.
In fact, Twilight could hardly find herself capable of being pulled away. In their comfortable bedroom the two women had retreated for a time, settling themselves atop the bedcovers and relaxing together; what had been meant to be a quick reprieve before company arrived had seen the two in a rather frisky mood, sultry kisses dissolving into something a little more sloppy. Tendrils of saliva were forged and bound tight before one stretch of fabric was pushed aside and seen tended to; unable to resist, Twilight had decided that Cadance’s solitary breast was in need of some adoration, and no time or propriety would be capable of stopping her.
Self-conscious as she had become regarding her half-completed chest, Cadance had been left unable to protest; replaced by emptiness and a scar that would never fade, part of her still remained absent despite the continuing march of time. Entire wardrobes altered, more hesitancy about her wanderings in public… so much of her image had been altered and left damaged by something that had been so far out of her control. Once an aspect of her beauty had become something she desperately wished would not be so easily broadcast to the rest of the world.
Such a mindset could have continued, if her ever-loving bride had not been there to continue her adorations. From the first time they had made love after her surgery, Twilight had been there to worship her body just as eagerly- if not more so, when she considered past events. Her spectacled princess licked away at her sole nipple, set it soaking and rigid with a marvelous skill that always managed to put poor Cadance’s heart afire. Even now, a perfect mixture of licks and bites and tweaks of her finger kept the elder woman’s body tense and twitching; how much she treasured these sensations, seemingly heightened in the absence of its pair! Her beloved had never failed to see her body loved upon, making sure that no wound could deafen their affections, no matter how many years would pass and see them turn soft and slow.
“Oh god - mff …” Cadance was struggling to hold back, keeping herself on the edge as she let Twilight’s slow licks about her areola continue. She loved the feeling that came from this, how her skin seemed positively afire. She was supposed to be getting old, not be failing to stifle a squeal! How could she be miserable when Twilight made her feel so young?
“Something wrong, Princess?” Twilight asked coyly. What had once been uncertainty in their lovemaking had become a strong confidence over the years; dedicated to the pleasure of her partner, Twilight’s efforts as a spouse were nothing short of exemplary. “Or are you just enjoying yourself?”
“Keep going,” Cadance pleaded; one hand was already plucking away beneath her skirt and incensed that her external stimulation had ceased. “Please, Love?”
“Just because you said the magic words,” Twilight said, returning to her latherings with a wild fervor; oh, how she knew just when to use her teeth and make Cadance grit her own! It was only a little further now before she would hear the sound of an angel and-
The knock on the front door below was like electricity to their very souls, the two women leaping into the air from the fright- and realization that so much time really had passed. “Oh crap! ” Twilight cried, instantly retreating from her bride’s bosom and hastening to button her clothing back to a semblance of decency. “Be there in just a second!” She added in a bellow.
Cadance looked down at her skirt and saw a growing dampness that would be a stain, just above where her slit had been dribbling; definitely not something she could wear any longer. “I’ve gotta change real quick, can you-”
“Of course!”
She would never have been able to find a better spouse in all the ages of the earth. “I love you,” Cadance breathed, stealing one last kiss from Twilight’s soft lips before the two swiftly departed each other’s presence and attended to their anticipated guest.
“Tia- hi, it’s so good to see you!” Twilight tried to not sound like she’d just rushed down the stairs and nearly broken her leg, praying that neither voice nor posture gave any sign of her recent deeds- or that smell might give her away. “Come on in, it’s awful out here!”
“Thank you, Twilight. Driving over here was awful, can’t imagine how it’ll be trying to get back home.” The regal educator’s smile beamed brightly, contrasting the icy drizzle that poured down from above and put the world on the verge of freezing over. “I grabbed something to drink while I was on my way over, if that’s alright…”
“Yes, of course! Thanks so much,” her young peer replied, returning her friend’s cheer as she took the bottle of mead in hand. A tactful gesture in of itself, but the dry style she’d selected was one of Twilight’s favorites; not usually one prone to drink, it would be more than enough to entice her this time around. “Cadance is just upstairs, she’ll be right down.”
“No worries. We’re just supposed to relax, are we not?”
The idea had been of Twilight’s making, and one Cadance had gushed over. The spectacled beauty had quietly spoken to her bride about their friend’s lonely world and decided that they would do more to reach out and help lighten her gloom. Though neither could do a thing about her marital status, the thought of such a treasured companion in isolation was unacceptable; the Super Bowl had been a ready-made excuse to help alleviate some of the pressure. “I mean, that’s the hope,” Twilight remarked. “Sorry if we’re not Pinkie’s level of partying, but it should still be alright.”
“I’m surprised she didn’t try to host again this year, actually,” Celestia said. The two settled down around the coffee table, the warmhearted woman taking the loveseat while her companion nestled in her usual corner of the couch. “It’s often been her thing, hasn’t it? Has all sorts of prizes for predictions on the game and everything…”
“I think because they’re at the game, actually.”
Not an expected response, Celestia’s eyes left wide. “Goodness, how’d they manage that? It’s not a cheap event.”
“Rarity and Adagio,” came the answer from Cadance’s lips, the freshly cleaned woman making an appearance along with a smile. “I think a friend of theirs in Manehatten gave them a pair of tickets but they weren’t able to go. They asked us first, actually, but- you know, school year and such.”
“I would’ve let Twilight off to go if you’d said anything,” Celestia replied as the third among them took a seat. “Couldn’t you spare yourself a day or two?”
Twilight shrugged. “It’s not the biggest deal. I’m not super into sports or anything, so I’m not bothered. Besides, Pinkie and Sunset need a boost.”
“The adoption paperwork didn’t go through?”
Cadance shook her lovely head, biting her lip as she recalled the conversation with the heartbroken baker. “Agency denied them at the last minute. Said the mom wasn’t comfortable with them adopting because of her being a diabetic, and that she might be a little too old.”
“… And did not say it in a kind way, either,” her spouse added.
Their guest gave a huff at the news. “Poor girls, that must have been awful. And it’s not like Pinkie’s unhealthy, right? She’s been losing weight and everything.”
“Yeah, she’s been fine lately, it was just that one time way back. But something about it just spooked them and the paperwork got pulled,” Twilight said.
“Oh, poor Pinkie…”
“We asked them to join us on Valentine’s Day next week for a double-date sort of thing,” Cadance said. “Sunset said she’s been pretty down, so we’re hoping to just… I dunno, distract her- a little? I don’t know if it’ll help any.”
Celestia gave a small, sad smile. “Well, it was certainly kind of Rarity to reach out to her. Especially with being so busy living in Manehatten nowadays…”
“She and Dagi barely spend more than a day or two up there, from what they told me,” Cadance said, recalling the pleasant conversation she’d shared with the former model and her designer spouse. “I think they’re off to Milan come morning, and then mentioned something about Sonata having a concert in Paris next week.”
The oldest of their number, with so much of her life spent herding restless teenagers to the point of exhaustion, could only shake her head at the thought of what weariness would result from such a lifestyle. “I don’t know how they do it,” she remarked.
“Guess it helps when you only have to design for one person,” Cadance said. “They sound happy, at least. Dagi’s got some sort of secret trip she’s planning for Rarity, but she wouldn’t tell me much of the details.”
“Good gosh, just how rich are they?”
The three women laughed, knowing the answer far better than any of them wished to say aloud. Sunset and Pinkie kept themselves stable as small business owners, Celestia collected a fair salary for her many years, and Cadance’s finances had flourished while combined with Twilight’s; Rarity and Adagio easily made more than triple the entirety of all their annual salaries combined.
Feeling the need for sustenance, the trio took the bottle of mead to the kitchen for uncorking, tending to what snacks lay on the table to await their hand. “Thank you for inviting me over, by the way,” Celestia said, raising a hand to cease the flow of liquor into her glass. “Umm, if the roads freeze over tonight…”
“You’re drinking. I’m not gonna let you drive anyway,” Cadance answered flatly. “There’s a blanket beneath the couch for you, and another in the hallway closet.”
Twilight caught her boss’ smile and deemed it perhaps a cunning thing. “Wait, did you bring alcohol over just so you could have the excuse to sleep over?”
Celestia promptly looked elsewhere, her grin now bearing a tinge of the sheepish. “I always try to be a good example. And Cadance is right, I’m not supposed to drink and drive.”
“You bum! You’d better cook breakfast in the morning, I swear…”
The night went long, time moving slow so as to give the three comfort from the frigid world outside. Words flowed peacefully as the actions of modern-day champions transpired before them along with all the decadence and showmanship that could be found in the world, none of it able to harm them in the slightest.
Oh, how she loved to wake up on Valentine’s Day. Even after the years had gone by to see body sag and decay beneath the weight of time, still how brightly did their romance burn. Perhaps not always filled with the fires of earlier days, but still could be found a softness that was so comforting to behold. Cadance knew that almost from the moment she’d open her eyes, Twilight would have mementos littered about for her to find. And with all the enthusiasm in the world, she would return such actions with equal fervor; nobody had been more out of her league than Twilight, and even still no one loved her more deeply.
The morning always began quietly, romantic feelings somewhat dampened by the sluggish start that came with dawn; Cadance rose first and fixed her beloved a fine meal in the form of powdered french toast with strawberries, supplemented by crispy bacon and high-quality coffee lightly filled by a dash of cream liqueur. An old recipe from a restaurant long-defunct had made its way to her hands and continued to be of use, too savory for the sweet-seeking woman to leave behind. Add in the thin slices of fruit atop the french toast and it was about as perfect as could be.
Twilight had taken her time to first see hygiene performed before making her way down to the kitchen, allowing her bride to complete her work before daring to interrupt. When the spectacled woman made her appearance, she found Cadance already at her usual seat beside the table with heavy plates awaiting them- and the lustrous beauty graced with her beloved’s first gift of the day in the form of utter nudity, Twilight’s elegant form freshly cleaned and glowing. Always the more visually stimulated of the two, the older woman could hardly control her still-raw emotions at the sight of her bride; flawless, a timeless loveliness was what Twilight possessed, a regal elegance now set to shining thanks the strength of water that made both body and hair shimmer.
“Good morning, Princess,” Twilight trilled, her voice teasing as she sauntered across the room to find a place beside her bride. “How are we this morning?”
“Getting better,” Cadance said faintly. A hand wrapped about her spouse and pulled her in close; to resist getting a firm feel of Twilight’s bare bottom was an impossible task. “Feel the need to go about in your birthday suit for a bit?”
“It doesn’t bother you, does it?”
“It’s distracting, honestly,” Cadance answered. “Almost like I just have to enjoy you for a little bit.”
“Oh, that’s for later, don’t you worry,” Twilight replied. Far often the less sexually potent of the pair, this more commanding, confident manner of hers was doing wonders in driving Cadance up the wall. “Would you be so kind and just… take your time coming home from work today? Do a girl a favor?”
“I might be able to oblige. Can you give me a hint as to why?”
“Say the magic word,” Twilight murmured, a solitary finger lifting Cadance’s face and seeing their eyes meet.
“Please , Love?”
“Absolutely, then,” Twilight purred, closing the gap between them and seeing Cadance’s lips occupied with a lush, loving kiss; so passionate yet so gentle, a slow and romantic thing as smooth, full lips were attended to. Deeper did they dive, a slow union of tongues coming to life as the two women allowed their slickened morsels to dance together in the dark- only for their fervor to grow beyond such a simple realm, lustful licking breaking free and out into the open world. More and more did Twilight lather upon her bride; more and more did Cadance exult in it, perfectly content to be lost in the burning desire she had of her beloved. Oh, how she wanted Twilight to go so much deeper, to pull and nibble and suck until her body was positively soaked, dripping from her longings and be forced to cry out for relief. She desperately needed to make love with this woman, right at this very moment! To plunge deep into Twilight’s luscious body and feel the gesture returned in kind, or else she might burst~!
Far, far too soon did their succulent union end, the dribblings of their entwined latherings spattering against Twilight’s bare breasts as bride pulled herself away from bride and leaving Cadance scandalized. “Just a hint, that’s all I promised,” Twilight said coyly. “Don’t you think that’s something to look forward to?”
“Yeah ,” Cadance breathed. Unwilling to let go of her fierce grip into Twilight’s bottom, she needed validation of her feelings immediately. “Can’t I just-”
“Later, Princess,” Twilight said, giggling at her bride’s downcast expression and trying to mend it with a gentle press of lips upon lips. “I don’t want all your hard work to go to waste, this looks amazing! Thank you so much, really!”
It was only a consolation prize, but if Twilight’s amorous mouthwork had been anything to go by then she had plenty of happiness to look forward to just later in the day. And date night would be even beyond that! Cadance could never find the words to describe just how much she loved Valentine’s Day; when it was spent with someone like Twilight, how could it be anything but perfect?
The rest of the day went by wonderfully, occasionally dotted by memories that were of Twilight’s making. Cadance could only hope that her small gestures would be equal to what she had been given, enough to make her bride’s own actions not seem excessive in comparison. Sure, she had ordered a tin of cookies from the finest bakery in town to go along with a romantic poem, but was that enough? Twilight deserved nothing but the best- were her gestures of affection enough to meet her beloved’s mettle? After all, she was greeted with an entire hot meal for lunch, the Mediterranean bowl positively brimming with her favorite flavors- and a bouquet of peonies that fell upon her desk only an hour or so later. Try as she might to pay attention to the mountainous amount of work she had to attend to, Cadance was unable to give much of her mind to the numerous tasks that sought out her name; the warmth in her stomach was butterflies just as much as the meal, and the flowers held her rapt attention. The best she could do was sigh dreamily every now and then.
It was only at the end of the day when she so intently set to rush out from her school did Cadance recall that Twilight had asked for her to slow her return to their abode. Just what her youthful bride had in store she couldn’t guess, but the fact that it would be wonderful was all too likely. Just as the rest of her day had seemingly carried on in a daydream so did this mild delay, even though she wished for nothing but to speed back towards her home and see what further delights awaited her. She had been bidden to hold her departure; would it be so bad to acquiesce to that request? When ten minutes was the best she could manage to hold off, it seemed that it was a struggle indeed.
The garage door closed behind her and Cadance peered into the dim light of her house to see a number of darkened things upon her floor, not enough detail within the murky world to give her further details. Just what was this? A flip of the switch revealed them to be rose petals- a guiding trail from the door and to realms beyond. Grinning ear to ear, she set down her things and tossed her shoes aside, slowly following the trail into the living room where she could see it carried off into the rooms at the top of the stairs.
“Oh Love,” Cadance called in a voice so bright, “I’m home!” She received no answer yet, not exactly a surprise; she knew that Twilight wanted to tempt her further in, the roses her initial hints at such a beckoning. No, it would not be so easy. To seek out her beloved was the command that called to her. So following after the trail of petals did she climb, leading up to their darkened bedroom into which she could not see; not even the smallest trace of light could be found within its depths, she peering into the impenetrable dark-
The comfy room suddenly came alive, and there in the center was Twilight. Atop a luxurious set of new bedcovers did she lay, a deep crimson and wonderfully soft even to the eye; all about their world was the soft glow of candlelight- artificial but brought by her command all the same. And Twilight herself, there in the midst of it, was beautifully draped in a babydoll nightgown of royal purple, a sheer item that hid positively nothing from view and tied together by a simple satin bow in between. Every facet of her beauty was adorned by loveliness and made all the more beautiful, unhidden and delectable to her bride’s senses.
“Welcome home,” Twilight said, smiling all the while. “Miss me?”
Cadance did not bother with answering through the power of words, content by ensnaring her wife’s lips in a ferocious kiss. There would be another time for talk, but this was certainly not it. Love demanded her now.
With as much time the two had spent together, it was not difficult for Cadance to attend to the greatest places of pleasure her spouse possessed; if numerous years of marriage was not enough to illuminate Twilight’s greatest needs, what sort of wife was she? Though she so desperately wished to remain in the depths of this sweet woman’s mouth, suckling on tongue until the very whole of her was dry, there were still even deeper pleasures to be had before the night truly began. And when such a decadent flower awaited her, how was she to keep her tongue away? The moment she had settled Twilight in a comfortable position against the pillows, Cadance pushed back the thin coverings of this elegant nightgown and set to work; each lashing her pink morsel gave was eloquent, graceful- and so extremely pointed, knowing just where and how to make her bride squirm. A quick lick across the outer folds was where she began, a thin dribbling across tender flesh so as to make Twilight struggle. Oh, struggle did she? Why do so when the fun had only just begun? There would be so much more joy to be had before she really got going…
Her hands had no real place in this fight, the fruits of her mouth more than adequate in keeping Twilight occupied; with fingers free to prod and pinch as she pleased, thick flesh across the thigh was to be subjected to her affections; small grazes here and there, enough to bring about goosebumps upon her bride’s skin; the tender lappings she gave across the labia were only heightened by such actions, sensitive motions meant to ignite further. And oh, when she plunged so deep as to hit Twilight’s sweet spot-
“Oh wow- mmf -” Twilight felt a deep stroke in between, down to the depths and across the sore spot she knew Cadance was aware of. Why only the merest brushings, why not a full caress? Why was she meant to be tormented so, rather than lavished? Her muted bemoanings were met by another deep plunge, this one allowing a slow stroke across her most exquisite places and setting her heart afire. So she was to be teased, tormented before she would feel all of this wondrousness-
The next stroke was enough to make her gasp; Cadance did not hold back now, delving greedily within her and making her slit positively soaked; fiery were her passions now, struggling against the ecstasy that so desperately wanted release. How was she to hold the tide now, when Cadance so eloquently made her arguments? Why not relent and be loved, let her songs flow freely? With resistance found futile, Twilight did nothing but cry aloud and enjoy her bride’s ravishings, stopping not once until the deepest quivering had run through her very bones and set her to gushing. On and on did she pour out, tender lappings by her bride enough to keep the pleasure going for a little while longer. When at last did her final tremble come, she found herself exhausted and most deeply happy. No one on earth could possibly fulfill this need as wonderfully as the woman she loved.
Cadance crept atop her and reached out for her kisses, slickened lips joined by new flavor as the two wondrous wives tended to one another; so what if only one had come away ravished- both crept from this place satisfied. Here there was to be love, and this Princess of Love wished for the feel of her wife’s lips; to be given anything else would have been to offer substandard sacrifices; only the sweet latherings of tongue upon tongue would satisfy her now.
“Don’t… can’t I return the favor?” Twilight asked, words muffled by the weight of her spouse continuously seizing her delectable morsel. “I mean –oh whoa, you taste amazing- don’t you want me to give you back a little?”
“You can thank me when we get back,” Cadance said sweetly, a quick plucking of Twilight’s tongue to silence further argument. As the years had passed, these periods after had begun to possess greater importance than perhaps the act itself, their most intimate moments not spent in the midst of lovemaking but rather in the quiet peace that came when their love was satisfied. “Aren’t we short on time, anyway? I think Sunset and Pinkie are expecting us soon.”
“Oh crap, you’re right,” Twilight said, glancing over at the clock on her phone and finding time short; an unfair thing, considering how intensely desirous she currently found her wife’s body. “Wanna shower together, make things quick? I’ll clean you up, I promise.”
A few kisses later that soon turned into further lavishing, it was deemed that Cadance did not mind at all. Especially when her moans could not be contained to just the bathroom alone; Twilight did not have the fullest time to return the favor, but she managed to have some of her fun all the same.
The two took their time to see themselves ready, a comfortable departure seeing them on the road and off to where they would meet their companions for the evening. It had been Sunset’s idea that the four travel together for greater ease of traffic, suggesting that the difficulty of finding parking downtown would be more than what two cars would achieve. Considering that it meant Cadance didn’t have to drive at all the rest of the day, she was more than willing to oblige; Twilight had already stated she held no interest in drinking tonight, allowing her more keen bride to indulge herself.
In the midst of what silence their trip held saw Cadance fully basking in the loveliness of her wife’s appearance, that elegant grace that could only be found in Twilight on full display amidst the darkness of the world; the A-line dress wrapped about her thanks to a halter neck, the more conservative appearance befitting of Twilight’s more reserved personality- but then there was the flared skirt, perfectly wavy and allowing her movements to have such a liveliness to them. Thanks to the hair that gleamed about her neck and the soft light in her eyes, there could not be a more beautiful woman to be found on the face of the earth, and Cadance would not even deign to allow argument against such a fact.
“So, I’ve got a question for you,” Twilight said.
Did she suspect Cadance had something planned for the evening? “Oh? And what would that be?” Came the reply.
Twilight took the opportunity given by a red light to look over at her wife, gaze strolling up and down her form and bringing a smile to that spectacled visage. “Why didn’t you remind me to bring a stick along? I’m going to have to literally push everyone away from trying to get your number tonight.”
Cadance gave a dramatic sigh, the exaggerated movements a means by which to hide her smile. Adorned in a berry-pink wrap dress, the low v-neck had been something of a bold choice considering the mastectomy scar that was partly revealed beneath fabric up to her neck, her long legs mostly concealed by the ruffled skirt that ended just a few inches above her ankles. A gift from Rarity years back and meant to drive Twilight wild, the older woman was glad to know her wardrobe could still see the deed done. “I’m just glad it still fits,” she remarked. “Honestly, I thought it might be a bit tight but it doesn’t feel that bad right now.”
“You don’t actually think you’re fat, do you?” Twilight asked. “Like, no one would actually look at you and think that you need to lose weight. You look amazing on any given day!”
“Compared to you? I’m definitely fat,” Cadance said, eyeing Twilight’s trim waist that had yet to falter; she had been petite ever since she’d been young, a seemingly effortless thing that had often been a point of envy.
“You’re the supermodel! I’m just the librarian nerd.”
“The extremely sexy librarian nerd!” Cadance pressed. “You get more attention from girls than I do!”
“Because they think you’re out of their league, not because I look better than you!”
The argument could easily descend into genuine bickering, but each was too insistent with praising the other to let more powerful emotions come into play. Laughter and kisses saw the intensity kept to a minimum for the duration of their journey; when they came to a halt outside Sunset’s spacious home, neither could resist the urge of ensnaring one another in the ferocity of their passions.
Painted lips were slow to depart from one another, gentle caresses across skin so easily done as they held one another. Cadance felt a warmth in the very depths of her soul as she beheld her bride, unable to find anything that could hope to compare. How could Twilight be so lovely and wonderful, yet ever bother to marry her? She’d never been so fortunate before, and would never be again. “I love you,” she breathed. “I- just… I love you so, so much. What would I do without you?”
“I love you, too,” Twilight replied, smiling as she rested in her spouse’s arms. “I honestly thought I’d never get the chance to be with you, that you’d- I’m glad you’re mine.”
The two departed the car and quickly found themselves arm-in-arm; too lovesick to willingly be kept separate, the night would be well-spent if only they kept each other close.
“Hey! Oh my gosh, it’s great to see you two!” The door opened to reveal the beaming face of Pinkie Pie, darkened bags held aloft by wrinkles momentarily disappearing as she beamed at the sight of her friends. “Come on in, you both look amazing!”
“Pinkie, hello ! Oh, it’s so good to see you- and you look great!” Cadance’s words were apt; more apt to weight gain than loss, the confection-seeking baker had done well to seek a more healthy appearance in recent years thanks to a growing medical history. Though she would never be quite as slim as her wife’s consistently streamlined figure, the healthier look Pinkie possessed now was a far cry from earlier days.
Pinkie’s smile at the comment was genuine, helping to keep away the memories of recent burdens at bay for a little longer. “Hope you don’t mind just hanging out for a little while,” she said. “Sunset’s in the bathroom right now-”
“OK, too much info-”
“- And I don’t think she’s quite done getting ready yet. Mind hanging out for a little bit while we wait?”
“Oh. Sure, that’s fine,” Twilight said, setting her purse beside the door. “Besides, I know we’re still a few minutes early so I guess it’s fair, seeing as Sunset’s waited on us about a million times.”
“Hopefully our ride won’t be too late. I think Sunset’s cutting it a bit close with when she wants to leave-”
Her words almost seemed as though a summoning, for none other than the bright-haired woman herself made an appearance at the top of the stairs, striding forth with a dazzling confidence and her still-slender form not hindered by even the slightest article of clothing. “Hey Pinkie, we’ve got a few minutes so why don’t you come up here and let’s get fu-”
Sunset’s gaze fell upon the sight of her longtime spouse in the midst of their guests, the silence immediately falling as three pairs of eyes took note of their unexpectedly nude companion. To her credit, there was not even the faintest hint of a blush upon her cheeks despite the unexpected stares that came her way from the foot of the steps. “I thought we said 6:30,” she remarked in a forcibly even voice, though perhaps bearing a tinge of frustration at the sight of her friends.
“I’m pretty sure we said six,” Twilight replied.
Sunset peered down at her bare form before looking over at Pinkie and pooching her lip in a pout. “Damn,” she muttered. “Gimme a minute, then.” As quickly as she’d appeared she was gone, back behind the concealment of the walls and heading to where an article of clothing would adorn her.
The three women glanced at one another for a moment before bursting out laughing. The stars seemed to have aligned perfectly, the night already having been worth all the effort.
Twenty minutes later and the company of four was back on the road, Sunset quiet and trying to prevent further growth of her smile as she drove their party on to the restaurant that awaited them, doing her best to ignore the laughter that came from the women about her. She was, after all, the focus of much of their mirth.
“Please, don’t get too into it, OK?” Pinkie asked, laughing all the same as she took note of her partner’s more struggling visage. “It was really funny but it was an honest mistake and I know you wouldn’t want us making fun of you if it had been the other way around.”
“I mean, it almost could have been, honestly,” Twilight said, “It’s not like we haven’t been super frisky all day. What else are we supposed to be doing?”
“What is it with you two and holidays that makes you extra horny?” Sunset inquired, eyeing her companions in the rearview mirror. “I swear, I hear one of you have some wild story about something you were up to every single time a holiday comes around.”
“We just like to have fun, that’s all!” Cadance replied, seemingly defensive at what wasn’t meant as a jab. “Is it so bad that we wanna love each other? Especially after all we’ve been through.”
“There was the Christmas party years back,” Sunset reminded her.
“And then you and Twilight got naked in the pool at that Fourth of July party and started making out cause you were drunk,” Pinkie replied.
“Adagio and Rarity made you two get a room at New Year’s once-”
“OK, this is cruel,” Cadance objected-
“And then you got caught in the closet at the Halloween party last year-”
“The point is made, thank you,” came Cadance’s more fervent interjection, she trying to force down the flame of red upon her face as she recalled the many, many moments that she and Twilight had shared together before an unintended audience.
“Exactly. So I mess up once? Fine. I get a freebie,” Sunset said, voice smug. “Besides, you know damn well there are others we could mention. So please keep your panties on when we get there, this is a nice restaurant.”
“I am not that big o- we’ll behave.” She wanted to protest further but had no leg to stand on, particularly when she was receiving absolutely no help from Twilight throughout it all; they both knew there was no defense they could hope to make when the evidence was so overwhelming.
Dinner saw the four women about a small table in the back corner of a bustling restaurant with a potent –and expensive- wine bottle in their midst, the hustle and voices surrounding them somewhat lessened in their secluded space and allowing for greater things to be heard in their midst. Too long had it been since their last reunion, workloads and personal lives keeping the four apart and unable to spend time together. With Fluttershy and Rainbow constantly in travel across the world, Rarity and Adagio busy with the duties of high society, and Applejack hardly ever able to leave the farm, their strong friendship was the last real burning flame that still lingered from days gone by.
“So, I don’t know if it’s alright for me to ask…” Twilight began. She eyed her friend uneasily, wondering if perhaps the topic would still be too sensitive to breach.
Sunset was often the more perceptive of the two, but her wife had spent enough time alongside her to pick up a few more social cues. “It’s alright, I know you won’t be super mean or anything,” Pinkie said as she gave a small smile. “You wanna ask how the adoption went so bad?”
“I was wondering if you were going to try again, actually. I hope they didn’t burn you so bad that you just give up, especially when it meant so much to you…”
“We decided that… for now, yeah, we’re not gonna pursue it,” Pinkie admitted; emboldened by the presence of Sunset’s hand on her shoulder, she pushed forward. “I guess it’s a little too close right now, so we’re gonna wait at least another year. And depending on how I’m doing health-wise, we’ll try again.”
“I’m so sorry about what happened, Pinkie,” Cadance piped up, reaching across the table to give her friend a small squeeze of the arm. “Please tell me you didn’t pay attention to anything they said, OK? You’ve been doing such a good job lately, and they were just being mean.”
“Some expecting mom probably just panicked and said something bad, don’t take it to heart,” Twilight added.
The woman so inclined to joy seemingly struggled to find it, biting her lip as she gave a rushed nod, the lump in her throat being forcibly swallowed down before finding its chance to rise. “It’s not- been a lot of fun, obviously, but… we’ll be OK,” she said. “I’ll be OK, and I guess that helps. Even if I kinda just wanna be mopey about it. But I’ve got Sunset, right? She still loves me. And I’ve got you two as such good friends, and my life is still good… I want that to still be important. So I’ll focus on that instead because I wanna feel better.”
“That sounds great, Pinkie,” Twilight said, glowing at the sight of her friend displaying such resiliency. “What made you think of that? I wish I had that mindset more often than not.”
Sunset gave a start, eyeing her friend with a quizzical look. “Are you kidding? We learned that from you two!”
Cadance took a lengthy sip of chardonnay as she smiled at the sight of her partner left confused by the remark. Twilight was too self-effacing, never considering that she might commit actions that encourage and inspire others to follow suit. “What?” The spectacled woman said as though not hearing correctly. “Us- but I don’t- what did we do?”
“Yeah, when Cadance got sick, and you two just… absolutely clung to each other,” Sunset explained, laughing somewhat as she took in their dumbstruck expressions. “Jeez, did you two forget just amazing you were? I honestly couldn’t imagine having to deal with something like that, and you both were amazing! Cadance kept fighting so hard, never gave up- and Twilight, you were just the most amazing spouse. I- we wanna be like that together, through… anything . With all you two have gone through and yet you’re both so happy-” Sunset’s struggle to find words failed and she simply smiled, gesturing towards her friends before turning and giving her wife a kiss on the cheek, hoping that such movements would be enough to say what words could not.
Twilight looked away from them all while Cadance’s soft eyes focused only upon her bride, each recalling the numerous trials so differently. All Twilight could recall was the fear and the uncertainty, the moments of not knowing how the future would unfold and if the woman she’d dreamed of would wither away before her very eyes. But Cadance remembered her newlywed’s strength and endless courage, the will she had possessed and so powerfully given to her in those moments of darkness; heaps of physical affection, constant will and gentle care, whether it be food or a kind word or the encouragement to continue on trying. How could she not look upon this sweet-faced woman and not glow with pride? They had endured so much, and now had so much happiness to show for it. By Cadance’s measure, it was all because of Twilight.
“I think you’re exaggerating a little,” said the spectacled woman when she regained the strength of her voice, or what little could be found in one so small.
“And I think she couldn’t possibly say enough,” Cadance breathed, gently bringing her wife’s face closer so she could seek out the lips she adored and see them kissed. “You were amazing, and you still are. So don’t ever forget it.”
Twilight blushed but smiled all the same, grateful for the words of praise that came from the woman she loved yet unable to truly believe in them just yet. For the first time all evening she found herself wishing that there was alcohol in her hand she could drink so as to let her embarrassment melt away.
The night went wondrously by every standard the four of them possessed; a good meal spent alongside pleasurable company in fine settings, the weather just warm enough that those who had partaken of the wine could enjoy a quick romp to a nearby dessert café- and convince their sole sober member to tag along. A bourbon and chocolate milkshake tickled Cadance’s already frisky fancy, she snuggling close to Twilight as the four giggling girls nestled inside to watch the world go by. There were plenty of moments in which they could pause and enjoy each other’s company, especially when love strengthened by time was given extra incentive. Twilight couldn’t keep herself straightfaced, particularly when Cadance was so intent on loudly expressing her affections whether it be word or gesture. And when her kisses were so sweet, still coated with dark flavor…
She was met with a chorus of boos when Twilight at last mandated that they return home, the morrow’s duties still demanding their presence come sunrise. Pinkie and Sunset were the loudest protestors, more eager to be handsy in public than what was likely recommended. The trip home saw the two rarely ever saying a word, more occupied with what was likely drunken foreplay in the backseat than conversation. The one clear-minded among them wondered whether exasperation or humor was the better reaction, but Cadance settled on giggles from the very beginning and could not prevent their escape throughout the ride back.
“I think we need- umm.” Sunset and Pinkie stood at the door, happily wrapped about one another and struggling to keep themselves steady. “Y’all be safe getting back home, OK?”
“And you two be safe getting to your bedroom,” Twilight said mildly, a drop of seriousness in her voice; the two were certainly drunk and the stairs provided ample ability to fall.
“Oh, we’ll be good! Like I’ve ever been that drunk or anything!” Pinkie’s voice boomed across their darkened neighborhood, confident and shameless. “It was –Hic! - great seeing y’all tonight! Now go home, cause Sunset and I need to have lots and lots of super-awesome sex! ” And without another word she slammed the door, their giggles audible even through wall and door before disappearing up the stairs.
Cadance awaited her bride patiently in the car, the energized portion of her inebriation beginning to fade away and be overcome by a contented drowsiness. “This was a fun night,” she said as Twilight slipped into the driver’s seat beside her.
“It really was,” Twilight agreed. “And Pinkie really seemed more like herself, too, so that was great to see.”
“Yeah… you wanna make out?”
The younger bride laughed, a bright sound from the depths of her heart as she turned to face her eager bride. “Are you a teenager again or something?” She asked. “Goodness, Princess…”
“Then just one little kiss? Please- please? ” Cadance begged. She couldn’t shake her need for the touch of her wife, positively desperate for it.
Twilight laughed once more but acquiesced, leaning over and giving her partner a gentle peck and relenting- before suddenly swooping back in to positively smother her spouse with affection, a string of kisses so ferocious and wild that Cadance was left overwhelmed. Everywhere did she feel Twilight, her hands stroking through her hair and the feel of her lips upon her own, the slick wetness as that delectable tongue slipped through and so utterly ravished her love upon its mate, Cadance beginning to moan aloud as she simply couldn’t contain her delight that surely came from heaven~!
Twilight departed slowly, delighted to see the dreamy smile that could be found on her bride’s soaked lips, the viscous drool string binding them together wondrously thick for just a moment’s time before severing. “How was that?” She inquired.
“I love you ,” Cadance cried, returning the favor with one long, slow union of lips. “You’re the best wife ever.”
Their trip back home was mostly spent in silence, Cadance smiling to herself as she took in the darkened scenery that passed them by. Why should she not feel so? Date night had gone wonderfully, she’d had a good evening with friends, and had gotten to make out with her wife; there simply wasn’t much more she could ask for.
“You know…” Twilight drawled, coming to a halt as the light ahead turned red. “I almost forgot you owe me something.”
Cadance, more concerned with reliving recent memory, wasn’t quite paying attention. “Sorry?”
Twilight gave a sly grin, turning to face her. “Well, you left me hanging earlier today, when you came back from work. Did you really think that I’d forget about you?”
She could feel the memory somewhere far away, suddenly springing to life as she recalled her enjoyment of Twilight’s delicacy. “Ooh…”
“I hope you’re ready for me,” Twilight said. “Cause when we get back home? Oh, the things I’ll do to you. I think I might even make you sing.”
“And if I want to sing?”
There came a grin. “Then I’ll have to make you scream .”
The two women had eyes only for one another, gently pushing through the green light and off towards their next blissful union. Cadance could feel her body begin to pulse and come alive, eagerly awaiting the feel of this woman deep within her, the world about her seemingly glowing bright as she anticipated the moment. Twilight her knew so intimately, just how to make the passion burn bright and long, slow and tender movements so as to elevate the wait those were headlights-
A Friend At The End of The World
She could feel her heart beating a million times a minute, and for the life of her she couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t as though this were an official ceremony or anything, it was just an excuse to celebrate because they’d missed out months ago. Why was she nervous about a wedding she’d already accomplished?
Twilight knew why full well and was forced to turn away from her reflection, lest she catch sight of the grin. She was nervous because she was excited! Desperately, joyously excited; she was adorned in a beautiful wedding dress, and she was about to see Cadance dressed the very same. The moment she’d daydreamed of, drooled over, wished for was actually happening! Her bride was cancer-free and they were going to get to enjoy this ceremony once and for all!
A knock came from the door and in walked Sunset, her Maid of Honor and the best attendant she could have asked for. Better suited to dealing with her more emotional moods than perhaps Rarity would have been –who was more perfectly suited for Cadance- the two longtime friends had worked well in seeing this makeshift ceremony come to life. And despite its significance being long dampened by the actual wedding being months prior, everyone was just as excited as ever.
“Hey, look at you!” Sunset said, her smile as warm as her voice as she entered the quiet dressing room that brimmed with the scent of jasmine. “I think you’re going to drive Cadance nuts just by the sight of you, she’s been begging for hints of how you look for ages now.”
“I’m amazed I haven’t tried to do the same, honestly,” Twilight replied, wondering if something was wrong with her in the fact that she hadn’t. “I bet she’s so beautiful, and just- I really get to see her in her wedding dress…”
“Yeah, you do. And it’ll be a great time.” Dressed in a sky-blue bridesmaid dress, the softhearted woman slid down into a seat beside her friend in the hopes of deciphering the numerous emotions that still ran beneath those features. “So why are you so nervous about everything?”
“Nervous? I’m not-”
Her protests were cut short by a wave of Sunset’s hand. “It’s all over your face. What’s got you so worked up? Cadance is cancer-free, you’re celebrating the fact that you’re married, and all of us are ecstatic for you! But you look like you’ve got something on your mind, and I’m wondering why.”
She didn’t really have anything that could dampen her spirits; really, she didn’t. But Sunset’s perception wasn’t all that incorrect, despite what her mind told her heart. “It just doesn’t seem really real.”
Sunset remained silent for now, allowing only a quiet smile to form on her face as she allowed her friend the space to continue. This was to be an important matter, not some trifling conversation; there would need to be plenty room for Twilight to speak.
“I mean, just- look at what’s happened this year alone,” Twilight said. Her voice was soft, small and meek as though speaking her words would break the spell that had brought her such good fortune. “Cinch and Mom, and then the diagnosis with the surgery… and that’s not counting everything that’s happened way before this.”
She hadn’t been present for most of it, and Twilight had flatly refused to provide further details as to what had transpired in the early days of she and Cadance’s relationship; shame she understood, but the young woman would not even provide the smallest hint. Sunset had often wondered if she should ever ask Rarity or Cadance what had gone on, but wisdom told her the information would have been provided to her if it were pertinent.
“I just… I really thought I’d lose her,” Twilight continued, and her words began to choke upon themselves. “But this is really happening, and she wants to marry me . How am I going to be good enough for her when she’s been so amazing?”
Sunset gave a long, droning sigh that grew in strength alongside her grin, recalling the few words she’d managed to swap with the bride who now dwelt in the room just beside them. “Unbelievable. You both are nuts.”
“What does that mean?”
“You really think she isn’t saying the exact same thing about you right now?” Sunset asked, her skepticism regarding this unnecessary humility left rocked when she saw Twilight’s expression turn to confusion; she really believed that Cadance was out of her league. “Cadance has been gushing about you for days now. Says that you’re the best person ever, she’s been trying so hard to get Rarity to spill the beans about your dress that she almost got her mouth duct-taped shut. How do you not know this by now?”
“But I mean-” Twilight floundered for a little while longer. “She… she’s so strong. And I was just so scared…”
“And she was terrified, sick… and guess who was there to help her every single time? Hmm?” Sunset would not see Twilight turn morose, not on a day like this; when the happiness was overwhelming, she would fight like hell to ensure it never turned against its makers. “You and Cadance are perfect together. Absolutely perfect. And you know why?”
“Ummm…”
“Because you’re devoted to each other,” Sunset explained. “Because you keep choosing each other, keep putting one another ahead of yourself. She does it for you, and look how much that’s done for you. I swear, I bet you’ll both breathe your last at the exact same time. You’re as close to soulmates as anyone could be.” Her solemn face split into a grin. “So enjoy today! You get to marry a hot piece of ass and enjoy it for the rest of your life, why bother with any stupid self-pity?”
Twilight considered the advice, nodding her head as she tried to accept its wisdom. “Yeah. Yeah, I know you’re right,” she admitted. “I guess I just-”
“You’re thinking too much about something stupid,” Sunset insisted. “So think about how Cadance is gonna look when you see her in that wedding dress. Try for me.”
Twilight remained silent; the image was so easily conjured in her head, the sight of that glorious woman adorned in snow-white colors and striding towards her. Elegant fabrics as she marched up that path to where they would unify hands and celebrate- not just a union, but a life free of danger after so much trial and fear. No cancer, no dimmed future, just a bright and wonderful dawn as they at last celebrated something wonderful !
“There you go! Keep focusing on that instead,” Sunset said, proud as she took in Twilight’s growing smile. “Gosh, Twilight, I am… oh gosh, you need to get moving. Cadance will almost be ready!”
Only the briefest brushings of makeup found their way upon her face before Twilight was hustled out of her dressing room by her friend and into the crisp fall air. She’d never felt lovelier, simplicity and regality combined to form the wondrous things now adorned her skin: a beautiful gown that just slightly trailed along the ground behind her feet, an ornate floral pattern across its as the white fabric crept towards her waist. Backless though the dress was, across her torso was a thin covering of elegant lace, her chest concealed beneath an additional layer of white satin that hid her bosom ever so slightly, the form beneath remaining despite the lack of cleavage that could be found. With a small, thin veil draping from her hair and beyond her eyes, Twilight could only imagine how she appeared to the world around her. Beauty barely concealed, made ready and kept waiting solely for one soul in this entire world.
There came the swelling sound of a marital march, and alongside a bright-faced man in his elderly years came the sight of which Twilight had never dared to dream she’d see. Oh my goodness, the sight of Cadance! No blemish could be found upon her, not in all the possible realms and worlds across the whole of the universe! How the gown clung to her form and accentuated the sensuality of her form- and the gold trim along her gloves! The brightness of the silk that made her shine with the brightness of pale starlight, so perfectly matching the glow of joy on her face as she wore it; never, in all her life would she lay eyes upon someone so beautiful and wonderful.
Twilight had always been grateful that Cadance was her bride; six months of marriage in desperate circumstances had done nothing to change that. But now came the fruits of their labor, revealed in such a splendor through this wondrous wedding ceremony that had been held off for far too long. Now came the harvest, and how they would reap!
Cadance looked upwards from her feet as they traced the ground and let her gaze trail to the woman who awaited her, lovely features barely concealed behind the thin lace of a veil that was meant only to elicit further desire and longing, to make her yearn to find those lips behind its covering and see them properly kissed. And so Cadance looked upon her bride and smiled, a shimmering in her eyes as tears took hold at the sight; she wept to see her, at the mere sight? Twilight felt herself wriggle with happiness at the feeling the adoration in those eyes. Here they were at last, and the daydreams could not hope to compare to the reality that lay before her.
“You look perfect,” Cadance whispered as she came to Twilight’s side, struggling to hold back from leaning in and stealing those lips early. “You ready?”
“Of course.” Hands intertwined and held firm, glad for this public announcement. Today was not formality or ceremony, but would instead be a celebration. All it would take was one simple proclamation and the festivities would begin; the party was coming.
There was a sound somewhere in the background, above the ringing in her ear. What was that simple noise, rhythmic and slow behind the maelstrom of chaos that threatened to overwhelm her. More than she could hope to withstand; there was simply so much pulsating, agonizing noise that she could feel it somewhere in the depths of her skull. An echo that reverberated from within and across every fiber of her being, the sensation so strong that it should have brought pain, but was instead numbed by a cool, liquid something entering into her from a space beyond.
Where am I? The question should have been an easy thing to answer, merely brought about by the lifting of eyelids to reveal the world about her. But so much of her body held a terrible, vicious weight that even the slightest movement seemed to be primed for a monumental struggle. It would be wildly difficult to achieve even the simplest action now. But she had to try. An instinct in her brain told her she must do so, find a means by which she could bring about a relief to the dulled throb that came from the cacophony of life about her. Was it person, place, or thing that did this to her now? She could hardly tell.
She sucked in a breath and found it a struggle; pain like a bloodied bruise across her front came as chest expanded to make room for air. Oh, heavens how this hurt! But by God, she needed this oxygen in her blood if she was to open her eyes. Somehow she knew it. Just a little further, a little more air- there. That should be enough. Holding her breath for a moment longer, she scrounged up the effort to see steel eyelids fight against physical form and the soft strangeness of unknown object upon her features to crack them open at last, the rims of her eyes crusted and glazed over by a strange gob of fluid. Surely she had not had them shut for that long?
The world was white; pure white, small pinpricks of light beaming through miniscule holes that seemed to be everywhere and yet impenetrable all at once; she could see white and light, but nothing else. Whatever it was that was about her face was opaque and unwilling to provide information to her current senses. I wonder what this is for .
Try as she might to recall much of anything, there was only failure; where she was, what had happened, or even who she was could not be ascertained. If only this miserable, mysterious thing upon her was not present! Panic began to set in, too deprived of sight to feel comfortable. She needed to see who she was, where, and why; this phantom that dogged her vision had to go.
Reaching up to her face could not be accomplished. Arms felt as though they were filled with lead, muscles seizing as their protests cried out against her actions. No, they told her; you will not see this fog lifted by the works of your own hands. She could hardly move a mere inch! Panic became terror and she knew that the effort to come next would have to be a valiant one; hold fast all of her effort and rise from this place, see the clouds parted- or Hell have her! A huff of air and she pulled herself away from her resting place.
A hideous pain like molten steel erupted across her body and snuffed out all oxygen and life within her-
The bathroom’s cold, quiet atmosphere was welcome to her. It fit the mood so perfectly that Cadance half-wondered if she’d purposely waited for a gloomy day to come by so she could finally indulge this deluge of emotion. The rain poured down, hard and fast against the windows of the nearby bedroom, the hefty storm bereft of rage but brimming with tears; she would not have to find her bare body rocked by the chaos of a summer squall today.
The sight of her reflection haunted her; though she knew it was herself that stared back, the appearance she possessed was so starkly different that it was difficult to recognize. Who was this strange woman that sat in her home, naked and on the cusp of the tub as she took in her visage? Surely this was not Cadance, the fair and beautiful. She’d always been lovely, kept wondrous and desirable by natural gift and rigorous effort. Though service of her ego had not been the intent for several years, the vanity that still lingered beneath the surface cried out in horror as she took herself in.
Thin hair that lay limp across her head, not even long enough to reach down beyond her ears yet. How much had she pulled out in recent days? Part of her wondered if she should have simply gone bald; pride had demanded otherwise and now look at her. But this unkempt look did fit so perfectly with the blotches upon her pallid skin where bruises had come so easily to life- the skinny, ravaged body void of any health, and just how deeply it sagged. All of her had been utterly spent in this toxic fight against a hideous tumor, its onetime presence still remembered in the form of a long, red scar that ran from the sunken absence where a splendid bosom had once rested and up to the edge of her neck.
She’d once called herself beautiful. But looking at her appearance in the mirror, Cadance wondered if she was something that had crawled out of a child’s horror story. There was more similarities with the nightmares of fantasy than anything lovely now.
“I wondered where you’d gone…” A soft, cheerful voice came in from the bedroom and brought a warmth to her cold misery; Twilight appeared from beyond sight and leaned against the bathroom counter as she took in her wife’s melancholy expression. “Goodness, I think you’ve got the right idea. No clothes sound way better right now, it’s super stuffy in this house. I think something’ wrong with the AC-”
“I know you’re trying to help, but please stop trying to be funny right now,” Cadance whispered, not even able to glance in the young woman’s direction. She hoped her words hadn’t come across as cruel; Twilight had been such a boost to her spirits, always there to look after her and care for her when the chemo had been too much. Always there to clean up every mess, all of her sickness, and never once complaining; she was just too good for Cadance to be around, and the thought that even now she still tried to aid her was just painful.
True to form, Twilight’s half-smile faded as she took note of her bride’s seriousness. “OK,” she said. “But I don’t think it’s good that you’re sitting up here all alone and trying to be miserable.”
“What should I be doing instead? Pretending to be happy?” Cadance asked. The question held no bluntness, that emotion too taxing to be utilized right now; her inquiry was made in earnest.
“I think you should let me help a little bit more, actually,” Twilight answered. Taking a small space beside Cadance on the rim of the bathtub, a hand came about her wife’s bare midriff so as to provide a little extra comfort- and to prevent any means of escape. “Feel like talking about it?”
“No,” Cadance admitted. She knew it would probably be best, but the thought sounded awful right now.
“OK, then. Do you want me to go away?”
“… No, please.”
“Then I’ll stay.”
The two newlyweds sat there in the quiet together, allowing the heavy pitter-patter of rain against house and home to fill the gap as each tended to their own thoughts. What could Twilight say that would remedy this mess she’d become? What could she hope to say in return that could be anything close to a proper explanation? It was such a tumult in her mind that it seemed rather impossible to succeed. Surely she should just stay silent.
So she spoke. “I’m hideous,” Cadance murmured. She had never looked at her reflection and ever come to such a conclusion, but this one could not be denied; sagging white skin bleared with the remnants of bruises, tired eyes that struggled to remain open, flaccid hair that was only halfway grown both in length and placement, and that ungodly scar! What part of her remained that hadn’t been untouched by the result of her sins? Nothing she knew or believed in was free of the stains she had smeared with the filth that was on her hands. This was not a coincidental punishment, and never had it been…
Twilight said nothing in immediate response, simply allowing her grasp about her wife’s waist to become a little tighter, the smile on her lips fading and turning to something morose. Better to remain silent and let this venom seep out of the wound than to seal it away for another day. What could her words do to remedy all the pain that her beloved’s body had endured, anyway? Could anything make it better?
“Why would anyone love me when I look like this?” Cadance asked aloud. “Like a freak.”
“I would,” Twilight answered, voice so quiet that it hardly registered to her wife’s ears. “I always will.”
“Oh, sure!” Cadance took little effort to begin to weep, the anger and grief at the sight of herself perfectly willing to boil over and send her blubbering. “Because this is acceptable, right? This is perfectly normal, I’m supposed to look like this!”
“I didn’t say that,” Twilight replied in an even tone. “I just said I’m going to love you anyway.”
“But what for? ” Cadance demanded to know. What aspect of herself did she have to offer this glorious woman that could hope to be matched? She was beauty- or at least had been. Never had she possessed any qualities that were worth much. “What on earth can I do that’ll measure up to you? Answer me!”
“You’ll be gentle to me. And loving.” Twilight held that wet, ferocious gaze in her own and refused to relent, emotions holding steady against Cadance’s own roiling mind. “Why do you not like yourself? You don’t think how you look dictates who you are, do you?”
“I- but I- what am I if I can’t make you happy?” Cadance struggled to find things to say; she needed reasons to protest and keep this beautiful woman at a distance, away from where she could hurt her by whatever means that came. She could not lash out, could not wound by presence or sight. She need not be the monster she had once been.
“You make me happy. And you always will. Even if you make me sad sometimes, too,” Twilight assured her; not for a moment had her arm relinquished her place about Cadance’s waist, unwilling to let her go and fall into this doleful world. “I love you. And I always have, so don’t think this is going to change anything.”
“That’s stupid,” Cadance hiccupped, trying to push away the tears. “I’m going to be miserable to be around and you know it.”
“Only sometimes. But you’ll be great a lot, too,” Twilight replied. “And you are. Especially when you’re not worried so much about being a good spouse. That’s when you’re wonderful.”
“That’s still stupid.”
“And so am I, I guess,” Twilight answered with a grin. “But I bet I’ll drive you nuts, too. Like I am right now.”
“You are not-” So apt was she to praise Twilight’s every action that her next words would have been in denial of her current feelings. “So maybe every now and then.”
“I’ll have to keep you on your toes, then.”
She couldn’t resist the call, and Cadance found herself laughing; miserable, unhappy, and brimming with pain but still laughing, even as the effort drove her tears and to fall into her bride’s arms. There was so much misery that still had to be dealt with, the torture and pain of these days nowhere near an end; but Twilight was still here, so that meant things were going to be OK. That had to count for something.
“I’m going to get some dinner started,” Twilight announced. “You feel like anything in particular?”
“… Not, really, no,” Cadance answered.
“OK. Guess that means I’ll get to have a little fun, then.” Twilight rose from her place atop the bathtub- only to pause in her rising as she leaned back down to place one solitary, gentle kiss on Cadance’s lips, the soft warmth that came from the gentle press powerful enough to push back against the fetid serpent that had bound itself about the wounded woman’s heart. “I love you. And I will always love you. OK?”
She could give a million different answers; yes, no, anywhere in between. But for now, the best Cadance could do was a simple, “OK.”
Twilight smiled. “There we go, then,” she said, acting as though she’d claimed a permanent victory. “Love you, Princess. Hope you’re hungry.”
Where was she, again? For some reason, there was a part of her mind that said she should know the answer. After all, it wasn’t as though she’d gone anywhere; a lengthy amount of time had been spent lying upon whatever it was that she had supporting her body. Surely she could recall just where on earth she now currently resided. Or had someone had to tell her? It was doubtful that the answer had simply appeared in her mind like a thought. That information had to have been revealed. But by whom- and when?
When the answer to that couldn’t even come to the surface, there was little else to do but simply give up for the time being; if she were to know all the answers, it would have to be explained by someone other than herself. Whatever had transpired, wherever she was… all of it was knowledge she didn’t possess.
Now, what was that noise she heard? There, just beyond the ringing in her ears and the pulsating beat that came at a rhythm; yes, there was something new now. Or had she only just taken notice of it? It sounded as though it was starting to become clearer, beyond the cacophony a different sort of strain was revealing itself. Faint, far off in the distance, but tangible. If only she could concentrate and focus all her attentions upon it. Maybe that would be enough to make things clear.
“… Frac… ere. She… fo… life.” A little clearer now, but still drifting in and out; Her best efforts were not quite enough just yet to break the reverberating hum that still dominated her senses. But perhaps if she tried a little harder, it would start to make sense.
“But… ed? I only… and now you tell-”
There it was! Partial, still fractured, but clearer. That voice had rung so clear in her ears, more powerful than the overloading white noise if only for a moment. She would have to try again and see what came of this next great effort. A rattling, cagey breath and she forced oxygen to remain within her lungs, her gaze darkening and turning to numerous stars and pinwheels behind her lids-
Wait, a change in light! Should she try to open her eyes and see if the world would be revealed to her? Would that help, further info be what was needed to command her senses into working once more? Forcing her eyes to open, she found the world bleary and smeared, but no longer covered by whatever foul shroud had once covered her. There was a stiffness on her forehead, true, a tightness- but she could see. And there were two figures just beyond where she lay, huddled close together and trying to speak. Was one of them familiar? She saw numerous soft colors, and a white outfit of some kind. Something said she was supposed to recognize something about all this. You know this .
“… Details given to us by the police. They’re still investigating the perpetrator, but he was too heavily intoxicated to recall the event. If he hadn’t passed out behind the wheel-”
An entire sentence. She could hear the voice, so crystalline clear now! It would take her utmost concentration, but she could hear! One more intake of painful breath and she waited to hear the response-
“… Conscious at all? Does she- has anyone been able to talk with her?”
“Still in a state of delirium. In and out of consciousness, but nothing tangible.”
Wait a minute . The unknown voice remained as such, but the other she recognized. Someone she knew was in this room. Now she needed a memory, something to trigger a response-
I know that voice! It’s C - So energized by the works of her senses that the revelation forced her to rise from her resting place, and a molten agony bored into her body like hot rivets, enough to steal all breath from her lungs in a strangled cry, the smeared world before her eyes turning black.
Cadance had wondered if she’d ever make it this far. It seemed only yesterday that she had married Twilight; a dreamy ceremony cast to the wayside in favor a courthouse union that would see them made one flesh before the end came. It had been bittersweet, wonderful, and so breathtaking; everything that had transpired that fateful day had been too potent, too powerful for her to fully grasp. Especially when the numerous months that had come after had been so excruciating for them both; surgeries and recovery, illness both natural and man-made. The sorrow and agony, all of it- so much to take in.
Strange to think that all of that life experience was years behind them now. One unbearable, draining first year of marriage. They had worked so hard, holding to each other- and all that work had borne wondrous fruit. Ten years of marriage were to be celebrated today! Ten years filled with so much joy and laughter and love that Cadance could hardly believe it had been her life to experience. And look at whom she’d been able to share it with! Could it have been any better, any more perfect? The thought was impossible. Married life with Twilight was something beyond even the brightest, most pleasant daydream. Life could literally not be better.
There first anniversary had been made wonderful for Cadance’s benefit. The fifth had been much of the same, Twilight’s secret machinations seeing them whisked away to a beautiful resort in the tropics. But this one, the first of their many double-digits? Oh, she would have to see this one made special. Twilight deserved something lovely for once, to be the one doted upon and treated like a princess. After all, she certainly was something close to it.
Cadance had, at first, struggled to come up with a good idea. Twilight was sometimes a difficult person to buy for, and the precedent of their last major milestone was something she felt the need to live up to. But would Twilight want to simply repeat their last journey? It seemed like a hollow gesture; she would need to create a unique experience if this one was to count. Twilight did love books and learning, and her time alongside her bride had allowed a greater sense of feminity; if only there was a way she could use that to her benefit…
The answer struck her so quickly that it was almost shameful that the thought hadn’t been her first one. A road trip! A road trip to famous libraries and cities across the country, aged places brimming with story and culture that would have so much to offer such a mind. Wouldn’t that be something lovely that Twilight would enjoy! And of course, it would have to begin in their sleepy city first; a series of little gifts that would liven up her day and see her brought home glowing…
Cadance was often the first of the two to arrive home; greater rank within her school’s hierarchy allowed for such things, if need demanded it of her. Though perhaps some of the school board would not see it as such, today was something of great importance, a brilliant thing that required her fullest attentions. Arriving a bit early so as to prepare her home, see it made ready for the arrival of her beloved. Christmas decorations were strewn across hardwood floor as she sifted through numerous boxes, but she had need for a few specific things. A few white lights, some satin curtains, some greenery to add to the mix, and some decent weather- which Mother Nature seemed happy to provide.
“See? Everything wants Twilight to get some love,” Cadance boasted aloud, happily setting to work about the house to see the romantic décor set to rights. “Isn’t it nice when things work out? Especially because she deserves it…”
Just how was she to go about the surprise? Truth be told, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. The setting was more important than the delivery when it came to her preparations, so what she needed to do hadn’t yet sunk in. There would be the finale, of course, with Twilight being delighted by the news of their oncoming excursion come Spring Break. But as for the rest? Perhaps she needed to think about it a little once she was done setting the mood.
Ever-present in Cadance was a youthful sort of girlishness, a delight in the sappy and romantic that had come to life in her childhood and not once found the strength to fade. How she loved moments like this! Twilight’s proposal had been the most unexpectedly wonderful thing in the world, so suitable for their relationship. Yes, their initial wedding had been a little unorthodox, but hadn’t the eventual ceremony been perfect? What she was hoping to achieve would be another milestone; an addition to their storied romanticism. And just how many they had to share…
The sound of the door opening sent a thrill through her heart and Cadance felt herself shiver. Oh, she was here! She prayed that Twilight would take her time to read the select notes that hung from the decorations, small gestures of love that were meant to beckon.
“What in the world..?” Twilight’s businesslike demeanor was not prepared for such an intimate gesture, still guarded and built for the working world. Perhaps, out of sight and focused on what had been left waiting for her, she would let down her guard. “Cadance, what did you do?”
The older woman bit her lip and failed to hold back her grin; the sounds of her bride’s delight echoed from the concealed living room and out into the open space of their patio; every new note and letter seemed to make things all the more wonderful for Twilight, her own happiness intensifying. Why had she waited so long to be romantic towards her beloved this way? Twilight deserved to swoon every now and then, too, didn’t she? The thought would be one Cadance would have to hold to for later use. Seduction and sex was nice, but Twilight should be wooed plenty, too.
“Oh my gosh, that is- I didn’t even know she’d remembered that,” Twilight murmured, walking out through the back doors and onto their wood patio, so occupied with the love letters in her hand that she didn’t take note of the woman who stood their awaiting her for a few moments. When her eyes looked up from the words that delighted her, the younger woman’s face came to life in a dazzling smile. “You are amazing! Oh my gosh, the lilacs at work are beautiful- and all these notes! I didn’t expect anything so good as this-”
“There’s just a little more, if you’re willing,” Cadance offered, her own paper in hand as she tried to hold herself together at the sight of her rejoicing bride. “I hope that’s OK.”
“Is it- Oh . Oh my gosh, I, umm… yes, it’s fine, it’s- Umm. Yes, please.” Twilight’s expression turned a tinge of red, pushing back against the squirming happiness that perhaps came a tinge close to embarrassment. Never had she been the one to be treated so royally, this lavish affection more often in the realms of physical than any grand, sweeping gesture. Cadance had already outdone herself and the best was seemingly yet to come.
Cadance smiled at the sight. A quick glance down at the printed words in hand before her voice rang out and said, “She walks in beauty, like the night…”
Twilight’s eyes went wide as she promptly recognized the words. A love poem of Byron’s work, one of her favorite wordsmiths. She knew this one intimately, delighting in the imagery it so eloquently offered to the intricate workings of her mind. So often she had daydreamed these very things, seeing the expressions more properly describing her longtime love than anyone else. But to hear them said to her, meant to describe her? She had never even given such an idea a moment’s thought. But here Cadance stood- reading these very words to her, believing them with all her heart to describe her ! ‘A heart whose love is innocent.’ Cadance read that final sentence and the warmth in her eyes spoke so clearly as to her deeply held beliefs that so beautiful a phrase could so adequately describe-
It was almost too much to bear. Well… more than almost. Not one for grand gestures of emotion very often, Twilight promptly burst into tears and leapt into her wife’s arms, ensnaring those wondrous lips in a kiss so fierce that Cadance almost fell back against the wooden floor beneath their feet. Was it something that bothered her? Not in the slightest, the wondrous woman perfectly content to salivate over her spouse’s kisses. No act of physical adoration had ever been something to give her qualms, and Twilight’s lips were no exception; she’d never hungered for anything more in all her life.
“You’re amazing,” Twilight said after their fervor had relented somewhat, the two teary-eyed brides all smiles and eyes meant only for one another. “Thank you, so much, I… I love you.”
“Love you, too, Twilight,” Cadance murmured. “Happy anniversary!”
“It is! This is the best present ever,” Twilight declared. “I loved it, I hope you like what I got you-”
Oh, the fun she would have next. “What, you really think that’s all there is to it?”
The spectacled woman paused in her adorations. “What does that mean?”
Now came the next part of her surprise. “So I might have done a little something,” Cadance teased. “Feel like finding out what?”
There was the routine sound of a slow, fragile heartbeat, giving greater frequency by the monitor behind her. But why was this a thing that currently alerted her senses? Of all the sorts of random noises she could hear, why did she find herself awoken by a heart monitor?
The body in which she dwelt felt so terribly heavy, her bones weighted down by what felt like lead. Movement would be agonizing, if she could even manage it. Could she even move at all, or had she been bound to where she lay? The thought was discomforting no matter how it presented itself. Both would have to be tested at once.
A small raising of her forehead, away from the pillow beneath her; oh, how miserable the action was! Why was a movement so simple something so torturous? An aching pain down her spine, all the way to her very toes, and such a description was not even adequate. To say she felt as though a truck had smashed into her body was insufficient; it was as though the very earth had crashed down upon her form with all its rage and might.
“Ow .”
“Oh my god .” The sound of a voice rang clear in her ears and the bleary world about her suddenly grew in clarity. Opening her eyes to the world about her, she could see a faint, smeared image of a person moving somewhere to her right. Why was this so difficult? Had her vision failed her, too? No, that didn’t seem right; she could hear well enough, and that hadn’t been something she could accomplish prior-
Wait . The memories came flooding back, a torrent so violent that it was enough to sweep her away. Valentine’s Day, date night with Sunset and Pinkie, the car ride home- headlights! The reckless panic that should have overtaken her the moment the car came into view suddenly erupted and she wrestled against her bed, movement only ceased due to the horrendous pain that seemed so eager to keep her immobile.
“Hey, easy- Easy …” The voice of her companion spoke again, further clarity coming to life as she blinked more rapidly. She knew this person, recognized the waves of hair that came in softened colors; Celestia was here in the room alongside her, trying to soothe her frayed nerves. “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep thrashing like that. Please, stop.”
“Where am I?” Her voice came forth like the croaking of a bullfrog, cracked and miserable from lack of use. How long had she been asleep? “What happened? Where’s-”
“Easy. Please, try to stay calm. You’re- you were… hurt pretty bad,” Celestia said, the last words arriving in a wounded voice. “I… The nurses need to know you’re awake. If you’ll just wait a second-”
“What happened to me? ” She would not wait, not for one moment. The panic within her chest demanded relief that only knowledge could provide, and Celestia was the only one present who could see it done. “Where am I, why am I here? Why does everything hurt? ”
Celestia looked over to the door before tracing back to her; the expression upon her face was stricken, puffy and sagging from sleepless hours and the burning power of tears. So fervent had she been in seeing movement halted- now her words seemed stuck in her throat, unwilling to be brought to life. “I… You just woke up. You need a moment.”
“I had my moment. Tell me what happened.”
Celestia, despite all freedom of movement, was backed into a corner. “You… you were in an accident,” she murmured. “On the way back home, you were both in, an- he was drunk. And he ran the red light. He hit you.”
The headlights hadn’t been an illusion. “And what-”
“You’ve been going in and out for the past two days,” Celestia continued. “Your back got hurt really bad, and- and your leg was worse. You’ll be able to walk, but, umm, but you’ll- it’ll be a limp and I-”
“Where is she?” It was the only question that had truly mattered, the one she had wanted to ask straight from the start. All of her life depended upon it.
Celestia looked back towards the door, back at her, and everywhere else. Trying to hold against the storm as best she could, anything to stem the flow; a broken rhythm of her mouth opening and closing as she tried to summon strength to speak and failing all the more with each new feeble attempt. There was an agony in her gaze, unable to be ceased with every failing until she could at last prevent the falling of tears no longer. Squeezing shut as the first droplets of salt came and fell down ragged cheeks, she remained silent as her fingers appeared, Twilight’s wedding ring there before them both as a trembling grasp set it within Cadance’s limp palm.
Author's Note
I've seen far too much death in my time. It never gets easier.
Keep reading, I guess.
A Friend At The End of The World
Two more weeks were spent in the hospital before Cadance was deemed capable of survival without the aid of nearby professionals. To anyone who would see her in the passenger seat of Celestia’s sedan, none would be able to discern that anything of consequence had passed her by save for a few scars that still lingered across her features; a dulled cut above her eye, a thin slice of her earlobe forever absent, and a shade of brown below her chin where hot metal had come to rest in her unconscious state. What others had once been were now faded, only memory where scabs had healed over as time had gone on.
Celestia had said little to her friend since Cadance had first awakened, only her continuous presence a reminder that she even still existed. A small worried glance came as the older woman drove her home, but not a word followed it. What could be said that would be of any help now? She, who had delivered the most unendurable news of their lives, was too stained by the pronouncement of death to be worthy of speaking kindness now. Her punishment was constant aid, forever in silence.
If the injured woman saw any of the world pass by as she was escorted homewards, there was no sign that the slightest bit of it registered. A dulled expression was all she wore, too passive for emotion and incapable of anything except for the most basic of speech. A few of the doctors had wondered if her near-muteness was some sort of trauma reaction rather than a result of injury; she had suffered through quite an ordeal, after all. Cadance did react and respond to what she was told, so her cognitive skills still remained. But hardly a word ever crossed her lips.
“Here- here we are,” Celestia said, pulling into Cadance’s driveway with as much gentleness as the rolling curb would allow to avoid her friend’s discomfort. A slow crawl that became a smooth halt, yet still not even a glance towards the familiar colors of tan brick. “You just worry about getting inside, I’ll grab your stuff for you.”
Cadance offered a small nod and mutely obeyed, pushing open the door and tenderly extracting herself from the vehicle, slow to put feet against the concrete. A hurt back had more or less healed up to allow her motion, but the right leg would allow no stride more potent than a limp to power her forward now. Combined with the mastectomy from years passed, her once-flawless body had endured a great deal of injury.
“Here we go, I’ve got everything,” Celestia said, coming about from the back of the car with a bag across her shoulders; what little of Cadance’s things that had survived the wreck intact –and not gorestained- as well as a veritable concoction of pills that would have to be taken for who knew how long. “Come on, it’s freezing out here still. I guess winter isn’t ready to let go just because it’s March.”
The two women went indoors to avoid the gusting winds of the grey world outside, Celestia’s pace heavily slowed as she strode beside the limping Cadance, there and waiting just in case there was an imbalance that caused her to fall. She would need to learn this new, hobbling step in time if she were to be ambulatory.
“The doctors said you should try to take things slow for a little while longer,” Celestia reminded her voiceless companion, “Physical therapy will be the biggest deciding factor in how much more you can do. But they do think you’ll be more or less at full strength before the year’s over, even if you won’t be able to move very fast anymore.”
Cadance nodded, shuffling over to the stairs and slowly working her way up the steps towards the bedroom that called for her. She felt no hunger despite not having eaten since the morning, no desire for drink brought about by thirst. Despite the bruising and pain that had been agonizing only days before, she hardly felt anything at all.
“You’re going to bed?” Celestia asked, receiving a nod in response. “OK, I’ll- here, I’ll grab a few things from the kitchen for you to eat, just in case you get hungry. I don’t really think it’s a good idea for you to be going up and down those stairs while- while… while no one’s home.” A small smile that was on the verge of being broken by tears and the gentle spirit disappeared from sight.
It took her time to extract any fresh clothing from her dresser drawers, the process of bending down, moving legs still an arduous task for her battered body. By the time she’d actually managed to drag out her nightclothes and set them atop the bedcovers, Celestia had appeared with an armful of small snacks and bottles of water for her to consume.
“I didn’t really know what to grab,” Celestia stammered, setting the mishmash of goods upon the top of the dresser in a heap. “I just grabbed a little bit of- well, something you wouldn’t need to heat up or anything. Maybe you should try to eat a little before getting some sleep-”
“I’m fine,” Cadance replied, her words cutting through in a dry croak with a voice ill-used. Was it rude to speak this way? Her mind didn’t know, nor could it find a reason to even care. It wasn’t as if Celestia appeared offended by the brusque remark. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing,” Celestia said. “Would… I’ll be downstairs for a little while if you want, or would just like to- be by yourself for a bit?” The answer was obvious to both of them, no need for it to be spoken aloud. The golden woman gazed at her empty companion for a little while longer as she tried to set her bedroom in order and ignore the lining of dust that had overtaken the once-spotless space in her weeks of absence. “I’ll- just call me if you need anything, alright? Anytime, no matter what. I’ll come on by, fast as I can.”
“OK.”
There was nothing she could do to help and the strength of that fact tore at her loving heart like the claws of a lion. Pausing at the threshold, unable to fully leave before saying, “Cadance, I am… we’re all… so sorry. I can’t imagine. I just- I’m sorry.”
She did not note the absence of Celestia’s presence, nor the sound of the door closing and the car speeding away. Cadance took in little but what her senses knew to be wrong, finding so much amiss that had to be addressed. Her bedroom was not clean, the time on the clock meant that Twilight would have been back by now, and the entire house was bereft of all sounds of life. She was alone in her house after so many years spent alongside the comforting presence of another.
A shuffle to the darkened bathroom, switching on the lights so as to look at herself for the first time in weeks. The gaunt face that stared back at her with hollow eyes was one she knew to be her own, that half-endowed, half-sunken chest was her own, and now that wounded, limping leg would be her own as well. She stared at the colors of her hair, the contours of her face, the decaying form of her figure and recognized all of it. By all appearances, she was whole; but of course that wasn’t true. Had she ever been more broken? Could it ever even be matched? Her heart was in ragged tatters, her spirit devoid of life, the very things that made Cadance who she was ripped in half by an action so violent that she knew the scars would remain forever. She was not herself, nor would she ever be herself again. She was injured, damaged, broken and incapable of healing, for she was little more than part of a person now that Twilight was dead.
She did not recall falling onto the bed and the pain that came with it, or if the tears ever did cease their stinging flow. But she remembered that there was no sleep to be found that night, and perhaps would never be found again in a bed so utterly empty.
The visitation was to be a closed casket, against Cadance’s will and by the demands of funeral home staff as well as Celestia. She had so desperately wanted to see her one last time; to see that peaceful expression adorned by those square glasses, to take in the features that had remained so smooth and flawless despite the racing of time, all of it made perfect by the smooth locks of hair that cascaded down her face. It would have been as though she were only sleeping, a peaceful rest so far away from the agony that her once-bride now endured. But to look upon the darkened colors of a funeral casket and know that only the spare few inches of wood was all that separated her from the face that she’d loved with all her heart had a horrid finality to the matter. This was death, Twilight was dead, and the separation they now endured was of a permanent thing. The hurt that she had endured in days when her wondrous wife was absent had been an ache, a hurting of her spirit; to think that she had ever, ever thought it could be as bad as this…
In the time before other mourners would arrive, Cadance found herself in the visitation room beside the aged wood that shielded her Twilight from all outside harm. She wanted no eye to fall upon its presence, yet still it drew her gaze as though it were the open maw of a ravenous beast. They were so close to one another, just mere inches and the thick trappings of fiber to seal the world of the living from that of the dead. As she gazed down, part of her wondered if this was a chance to break the spell. Wrench open that miserable container of the grave and see Twilight resurrected, this death little more than a passing thing. Or was it closure she sought? To know just what had become of her beloved; how the older, frailer and weaker one of them could possibly survive such a vicious wreck. It did not make sense to her that one so strong and brimming with life could possibly be snuffed out like a candle’s flame.
As her hand pressed against the polished wood, another fell upon her shoulder to see attention dragged away from the casket; Celestia had entered the room without her noticing and now stood beside her, features nearly shattered by grief and fear.
“You don’t need to,” she said in a quiet plea. “You… do not need to see what’s in there.”
“Is- is she even in there?” Cadance asked, waiting for the nod that would reveal the answer, it arriving and pock-marked by tears. “Then I need to see her.”
“Cadance…” Celestia was struggling, horrific memory and deep feeling spurring her to not yield the slightest ground; she was determined to see her wishes satisfied. “You know her face- better than anyone in the world, by far. I promise that is more than enough, don’t ruin it with what you’d find.”
“I need to see her. To- to say goodbye,” Cadance countered. “What if there’s something wrong I need to help with? She needs to- to-” She wanted a reason that made sense to someone else and not just to her own desperate heart that was hanging in tatters. Twilight needed her to say this goodbye, and only face-to-face would suffice. She needed to say goodbye and that she was sorry for all the times she’d failed and that if anyone –anyone - in the world was worthy of something better in the future then it was Twilight; even if only for her own sake.
“Cadance… I am begging you to not open that casket,” Celestia murmured. She forced the tears to hold back for a little while longer, to keep the shadow that swirled about behind their shining filament at bay. “I would rather you be dead than you ever see what’s in there. Please, whatever you do, don’t keep trying.”
Each moment that Cadance failed to win her companion over only made it feel all the worse, and her arguments all the more irrational. Celestia was desperately trying to protect her from a mistake she’d regret and still she wished to plunge headlong into it. She had so many reasons that would make sense to her alone, yet incapable of convincing anyone else. She needed to see her Twilight, even if she knew she couldn’t.
The visitation was nigh unendurable for Cadance. So many people came to offer her their condolences and say their farewells to someone they called friend. They all meant so well, wished so much that there was something they could say or do that would staunch the flow of this wound. Applejack had ensured time away from the farm to say her farewells; Rarity and Adagio flew in from Manehatten and gifted flowers along with their tears; Luna’s caravan of family crossed the country to see companion both fallen and living; Fluttershy and Rainbow had paused in their constant travels to make sure they were present; Pinkie and Sunset showed their faces and entered timidly to bring what comfort they could, as though fearful that they would somehow be blamed for a night that had gone all so wrong. Even Shining Armor made a rare appearance from somewhere out in the wide world, dressed in his military finest to say this last goodbye to his little sister. So many faces and names and souls coming by to bring what comfort they could, all speaking so lovingly of Twilight that it could not be doubted just how deeply she had been cherished by so many. A treasure, a joy, a friend, a mentor, a guiding hand, a delight, all of it and so much more. They wanted Cadance to know, even if every new pronouncement was a knife in her soul.
A few people spoke at the service, herself included, though if pressed Cadance could not remember a single word that was said. Even her own speech, prepared by her own mind, seemed detached and separate from reality. There were stories shared, comparisons made, Twilight continuously held up as an example of a gentle nature and a loving heart. But that had been of the living Twilight, the girl-turned-woman who had filled her life with so much joy that it couldn’t possibly have been contained in all the books in the world. Cadance knew she was not capable of speaking for the dead. What was she supposed to say about the Twilight whose remains now lay in the trappings of a tree?
To her mind, at least the earth offered its proper respects; the skies were grey but devoid of rain, a cold upon the air yet not bristling with an icy wind. There was only silence, an emptiness that was a kinship to Cadance’s wounded self. Why should there be echoes of grief from the world that had allowed Twilight to be taken from her? The only acceptable posture was to admit to the absence and allow the loss to be seen. Half of her was gone and the whole earth should be forced to echo as such.
The sound of music played as Twilight was lowered down into the perfectly carved box of ground, laid deep within and resting so peacefully beneath the layer of wood that was slowly to be covered in soil. Cadance stood at the side of the open space and said not a word, not even as friends and loved ones alike came by to speak to her and offer a gentle hand in her time of mourning. To see so much of her down in the maw of the earth had turned the once-joyful woman numb; she could feel nothing, say nothing, merely stand and stare as the woman she’d loved more than anything in all her life be made more and more separate. She knew that this one last connection would be severed the moment she turned to leave; thin string cut through without a sound, unnoticeable to all but one. If she turned her back, then it would be the acceptance that Twilight really was gone- gone and never coming back. It was such a task to accomplish, and to do so might be something that would actually kill her.
“Cadance…” Celestia had waited in silence some distance behind her, allowing the once-bride all the time she needed to mourn. Closer to both of them than perhaps any other friend had been, the desperation to try and offer all her aid was likely impossible to resist. Despite what her aching heart compelled from her, wisdom spoke that the best course of action would be to say nothing. No words would ever be enough to help heal a hurt this unrelentingly grievous.
Cadance resisted this grip on her arm. She had every right to mourn for as long as she wished- without interruptions. What had made Celestia feel safe in making such an intrusion? “Give me a few more minutes,” she said.
“I really wish I could,” the golden woman whispered. “Cemetery staff said they’re going to close the gate for the night in just a few minutes. They need us to leave.”
She couldn’t. Wouldn’t. If she left now, then it really would be final and death would claim the one who had made her life worth living. How could she leave Twilight behind in this desolate place? Her grave surrounded by wreaths and flowers, cards and notes and farewells of all kinds that their like could not be counted, yet all of it brimming amidst the presence of the dead. This was such a cruel place to lie. This was no garden, no peaceful resting place surrounded by beauty, just a cold and weary world that had never once deserved her- just like Cadance.
“Let’s see you home,” Celestia said, her hand still about Cadance’s arm. “It’s been a long day. You should get some rest.”
Cadance would have gladly remained, more at home surrounded by death than she could ever hope to feel about the living. Yet still she allowed herself to be led on, a bright-faced woman now turned so terribly dull, away from the still mound of soil where her heart would forever remain.
No one at Crystal Prep was expecting her back for a few more weeks. So many of her loyal staff had made it clear that they would allow her time to grieve and be physically ready to start working again. Her vice-principal had been ever so lovely about the whole thing, insisting that she could handle work for the rest of the semester if it was deemed necessary. All of it delivered professionally, filled with kindness and murmurations of their sympathy. So Cadance was allowed to rot within the empty space of her home that was far too large for one, to sleep in a bed that was much too empty, and simply let the world outside pass by before her eyes without a care in the world. She could not summon any strength or emotion for such things any longer.
Each morning would begin with a dulled awakening, the little difference in the color between when she shut her eyes and opened them making it impossible to know if any slumber had transpired. So much of her time was spent just lying there; Cadance felt no urge for sleep, nor hunger, or much of anything at all. Why should she know that her mind had gained a moment of rest? Dream, memory, and reality all seemed the same by now. All her senses saw was Twilight; stories and moments and cherished things that she had never shared with anyone- or the sunken absence in the mattress where she had once lay that now sat empty. Each was just as unbearable as the other and what little of her mind that could summon conscious thought wished for both to disappear.
Without her bride, daily rituals held a broken rhythm to them; she would make too much breakfast, have too much coffee in the pot. Too many dishes would be drawn from the cupboards before she remembered that only one soul lived in this house now, the thought present simply to add more pain. Then she would limp to the living room and lie on the couch while the TV added its noise to the empty house, Cadance doing what she could to ignore the calls and texts that would come from so many worrying, caring souls. Celestia tried to talk to her every day; Sunset or Pinkie would have something gentle to say; so many old friends and family that still endured wanted her to know that she was loved and being thought of each and every day. If she could find the strength to tell them to stop, she would; nothing they said would fix what was so obviously wrong and their words only made the wound feel worse.
What food she ate arose from habit more than any primal urge or need; she wondered how on earth she had ever felt hungry before, what the sensation was even supposed to feel like. Cadance knew she needed to eat, but what on earth for? What good would it do her? Throughout the day would instinct compel her to sustenance of any kind, blocked by an apathy so thick that the thought could hardly pass through with any potency. All she wanted to do was not think, not feel, not do anything. Or was that even the honest answer? There was something that itched beneath it all, an answer begging for its release. Part of her knew it already. The other feared the day it would be named.
The day would pass on with Cadance remaining in silence, surrounded by so many things that brought memories she didn’t want to remember. None of them felt pleasant anymore, more like hot slivers of steel upon heart and mind. Was she supposed to cry? Struggle beneath their weight? All she felt was an emptiness, an exhaustion so heavy that her bones were like lead. No words was said, written, or typed out; there was nothing worth saying anymore. Twilight had been the wordsmith, the one who knew best how to bring life from the nothingness. How was she supposed to make something out of the nothing that so surrounded her?
A day came by, when or where Cadance didn’t know. Was it morning, before the sun had fully risen, or the dying hours of the day? All she knew was its name, one that she could not speak for its greatest emblem upon this earth was not across the table from her to embody it. A plate of poorly cooked food sat there before her, she gazing down upon it with as much interest in consumption if it were a dish of mud. Why did she want to eat at all? What drove her to consume? Was there any good explanation any longer, now that Twilight was dead? Why try to survive and carry on when the light had left her life? It would be better if she wasted away, day by day; the agony of a slow, painful departure from existence before she at last breathed her last. It was what she deserved, after all. After all the years, the countless things that she never should have said and done against one so lovely and innocent… to peacefully leave this life was not a suitable punishment for one such as her. Cadance needed to waste away, feel every moment of pain before the time came. Why not start now?
A sudden heave of ceramic dishware that broke against the hard plastic of the dishwasher and she collapsed into her own hands, tears finding their strength to flow. How on earth did she even have tears to shed? She didn’t deserve water. There was so much she had to account for, and Cadance would be damned before she let this slide; this was her age of reckoning, and her calling was to suffer.
A slow, miserable stagger over to the couch where she collapsed headfirst, feeling the freshly scarred skin of her salt-stained face burn when brushed by hardened fabric. Good; it was only a small thing, but better than nothing. She practically rubbed her face in it, the constant memories of she and Twilight upon this couch so unbearable that there was nothing on earth that could stupor the tears. So much love and sorrow, sickness and health, all of it wonderful no matter the circumstance. But how was she supposed to bear the weight of so much memory when the one who’d forged them with her was no longer present? Wasn’t she the older of them? She should have gone first! Age, illness, a sudden death- all better suited for her ilk than for one so angelic. But no, fate had designed something far more cruel-
And then Cadance realized a new side of such an argument: her death would have caused Twilight pain. Her beloved bride would have grieved for her, mourned her, suffered her absence. So she wished for another to endure her pain in her place instead. Of course she did, she was awful. What else would she be but selfish? The thought burned at her spirit and brought forth more tears, adding to the pain. She could only hope it would never stop.
The grieving widow knew not how long she lay against the aging fabric, the passage of time beyond her reckoning any longer. What was she supposed to care? No responsibilities, not needed by anyone, and no desire to continue on in this wretched world without the one who had given it light. What was there to enjoy, to do, to look forward to? A life without Twilight offered nothing but a painful, greyed thing absent of joy. The longer she went on, the less she would feel, even the absence of pain or hurt too difficult to bear. Why should she carry on through a world in which she would not be human? Damned she would be if there were no aim; better to see the end come now at her own will than to carry on until at last the final breath escaped her lungs in a ragged shudder.
A sound came to her ears from beyond her slowly shrinking world, the dim blackness pushed back by its presence; a knocking of flesh and bone upon hardwood over and over again as the raps came more often and in greater intensity. Whatever made the concussive sound demanded to be recognized, so much that even the sound of mechanical function came not long after. Wearied beyond what her senses could currently tell her, Cadance found no reason to rise to her feet and answer the summons. Had she fallen asleep, perhaps? Or was she so despondent that the grief held her down with bones of lead?
“Hello? Cadance, are you- there you are...” The fretting voice of Celestia rang in her ears with the strength of thunder, footsteps rushing over as bags were dropped against carpet, the older woman’s hands coming about her shoulders and hoisting her from atop the couch. “Are you alright? I hope I didn’t wake you from a nap, I know you said you hadn’t been sleeping much last we talked-”
“I’m fine,” Cadance muttered, a weak arm trying to push away her unwanted companion. This was not how she wished to be found, especially by one that might actually care she was in poor countenance. “Go away.”
“Not until I’m sure you alright-”
“And why would I be alright?” Came the challenge.
“… Not until I’m sure you’re physically alright, at least,” Celestia ceded. It had been a poor choice of words even if it was well-meant. Cadance had lost the woman she loved after decades of time spent in happiness. Why would she be alright? “I haven’t talked to you in a while, I was worried.”
“Well here I am,” Cadance said. Her words arrived with the force of a dulled hammer, blunt and without feeling; part of her mind wondered if perhaps she really had just awoken from slumber considering just how raw her emotions were; she had not felt this rankled in heaven knew how long. “Will you please leave now?”
Celestia turned away for a moment and regarded her surroundings for a time longer. Yes, she was likely intruding, but it was a welfare check on someone she cared about. What would a good friend do in a situation like this? Was leaving the correct choice after all, or were other duties required of her? It was difficult to say. “I… not until I make sure you’re in something of a good shape,” the stellar woman muttered, receiving a sigh of frustration from her companion. “I know, I’m not welcome. But I’m worried about you still.”
“What do you expect me to be doing right now?” Cadance challenged. “Just going on about my day like nothing ever happened? Huh? Should I just be treating this like any other Tuesday?!”
“That’s not what I mean. And no, I do not expect you to be like normal,” Celestia admitted. “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t worried about you. I’ve tried calling your for days and you haven’t responded. Especially since you’re here all alone –for days now- I thought I needed to check in on you.”
“Well you’ve done that. So go away,” Cadance pressed. When Celestia still hesitated at her place beside the sorrowed spouse, the anger within began to flare up. “Go away , OK? That is not a joke, I want you to leave. I don’t wanna talk to you.”
“Cadance, please- I’m not just here for me,” Celestia continued, “Sunset and Pinkie, Rarity, the others- all your friends, they’re all worried about you. I was closest and they asked me to check in, what am I supposed to say to them-”
“I don’t want to talk to them either!” Cadance cried, the firstfruits of her tears at last falling from her eyes. She hadn’t meant to allow her feelings to turn ablaze, intent on being little more than a stone amidst the storm. But this badgering, this incessant and unrelenting badgering! “There is no one on this earth I wanna talk to because not one of you is going to understand how I feel. So get up and go away, please! I am not going to ask again!”
“How can I be a good friend and leave you like this?” The resplendent woman replied. Not once had she taken any of the cruel words to heart, simply allowing their pointed ends to sink in and deal their wounds as she tried to so intently help heal another. “I know you want me to go, but- but how can I when you’re like this? What if something happens to you?”
“Good! That’d be great- and don’t you deny it!” Cadance roared, rising to her staggering feet and screaming in her companion’s face with all the force her tired form could muster. “Why would I want to be OK, huh? Tell me!”
“Cadance-”
“I miss Twilight. I want to talk just to her , I want to hold her, I would give up everything I’ve ever had in all my life if it meant she was still here- if I could just see her again! You’ve been alone all your life, how could you even imagine what this feels like?” Cadance screamed, hardly an inch’s space between the two women as her emotions finally came to life. Like the bursting of a dam, the deluge of her ravaged emotions came forth after so much time spent emotionless, current circumstances doing their best to make up for lost time and sending the aggrieved woman into a fury. “What am I supposed to say, or do- at all! I sure as hell hope you can tell me because I don’t know anymore! I’m not even really here , anymore! Why would I want to get better when I know I’ll never be able to? Huh? Do you have anything to say at all? ANSWER! ”
Celestia said nothing in response, the slow stains of tears falling down her aging face from eyes that carried a sorrow entirely her own. This was a pain beyond her realm or reckoning and she was wise enough to know it, words of comfort that could possibly be muttered by anyone too far for her to reach. The pain that stood before her was a grievous thing, a wound cut so deep that to staunch the flow might really be an impossible thing. Shame, cold and cutting in its words, demanded that she leave this woman to her suffering; her heart demanded she stay no matter what came next as her mind urged on the very same. This was where she was meant to be even if she was so unwelcome within this trauma.
Cadance took a step away and staggered further, chest heaving from the spent breath as her head spun. So much oxygen dispensed in such a short time, combined with the weariness, made her lightheaded and ready to collapse. A hand against the nearby loveseat helped to ease matters somewhat, but not enough to resolve it entirely. Her world was topsy-turvy and upside-down, so wrong in so many ways that she knew of no way available in all the world that could possibly make it right again. She was a walking corpse, half of a human shuffling down a road that led to nowhere. There was only one way in which this would end, whether it was years in the future when she finally breathed her last- or right now. Only one thing in the world could cure this ache that would not ease.
“Cadance..?”
“I can’t do this,” Cadance breathed. Heart began to pound, fight-or-flight coming to life as the makeshift plan formed in her brain. “I can’t be here if Twilight’s not. I am not capable anymore-”
“Cadance, no-” A hand darted out and clenched down on a solitary wrist, holding back the despairing woman from her trek into the kitchen where knives and blades could so easily shed blood.
“And why not?” Cadance challenged. “I shouldn’t be here- I shouldn’t be here and you know it! It should have always been me, I wish it was me!”
“But it wasn’t,” Celestia murmured. “Please, don’t go down that road. Not for a moment, not ever.”
“Because I have so much to live for, right?” Came the mocking reply. “Because it’d make you all sad, well to hell with you! I want to be with Twilight again, I can’t do this without her and you know it!”
“But you can,” was the insisted call. “Even when it feels like your world is ending and you’re standing in the ruins of your life.”
“Don’t you dare to pretend to know what this feels like-”
“I will not let you end your life, Cadance. I can’t do it,” Celestia said, firm and too strong in her grasp to allow the frail widow the opportunity to carry on in her desired suicide. “I can’t.”
“I hate you!”
“Then hate me!”
The free hand delivered a slap across the cheek, desperate for one stunning blow that would see grip weakened. “Let me go!”
“I can’t. We love you, Cadance. I love you, she loved you-”
“Don’t you speak like that! ” She could not bear the burning, the stinging that would not relent. She needed to be away from this conversation, this world, this life- “I wanna be with her, why won’t you let me go? You have to let me go!”
“I can’t.”
“Let me go!” She demanded.
“No,” Celestia answered.
“Damn you, let me go! ” Cadance shrieked, pulling and tugging with all her might to find the one thing left in all the world that could at last give her relief from this remorseless suffering, whatever came after be damned. Even if she knew that this was all her fault, knowing that she would not follow in Twilight’s footsteps, the thought that she would have to bear this agony for even a second further was more than she could take; she needed oblivion or hellfire in her heart. “Let me go, let me go, let me go! I wanna be with Twilight, you LET ME GO! ”
Celestia did not budge, did not release her hand from about Cadance’s wrist, even as scratches and slap continued their barrage, even as Cadance fell to the ground screaming aloud so powerfully that perhaps her lungs might burst, heart give out and she breathe her last. She would not let go of her friend who grieved in a sorrow beyond understanding, lest that unbearable end did indeed come to life. She allowed the wails to flow freely, the tears to at last fall in their unrelenting abandon, body to collapse beneath its own weight until Cadance was little more than a heap on the floor. And then she was there to add another arm about the shivering, weeping form, holding her tight as Celestia became a guardian against all the outside world. By her will nothing would enter and pierce this grieving heart, her own body and spirit present to safeguard a broken woman. In her grasp did she allow Cadance to cry, the tears to continue falling until the floodwaters could go no further; no new shudder, no fresh fire or fury to be unleashed yet again. Like a ship at sea the two rode out the storm together, Celestia the unwavering force that willed her friend to live for a little moment more. It would only be for a day, perhaps two if she were lucky, but for now it was enough. And she would be there again, if need arose.
“It’s late, Cadance,” Celestia whispered, arm remaining wrapped about the spent woman and guiding her along. “You need to rest.”
“I don’t want to rest,” Cadance muttered; too exhausted to even think of sleep, perhaps only finality could offer the relief she so desperately needed. “I want to see Twilight.”
“I do, too,” came the answer. “I really do. But you need to rest right now.”
So spent that the choice of her own will was left behind, Cadance led up the stairs to where her empty bedroom awaited. The bed was still too large, this house too quiet, so much of it missing Twilight and all that she had brought in life. There was so much she’d wanted to say, so much she’d wanted to do. To continue kissing those lips, to love that woman even as old age really sank its teeth in deep, so many experiences and moments lost without her even having a choice on the slightest matter of it all. It was so wrong that she remained, wretched and foul and so decrepit, yet here she was: still living and breathing, while one so good and pure as Twilight had taken the road to safer dwellings.
As she was laid down atop the mattress and instructed to close her eyes, Cadance could do little else but comply, and pray that she not open eyes to see the sun rise.
Author's Note
Parts of your own heart are buried over time. You never really know how to live with it.
Keep reading, I guess.
A Friend At The End of The World
Despite her deepest, most fervent desires otherwise, Cadance awoke early the next morning to find that the sun had risen and the earth did continue to turn. The world that greeted her was pale and cold, the last days of winter’s chill remaining with spring slow to come and bring life to the skeletal world. Was the world mocking her, she wondered? A land bereft, still brimming with death just as she was. Or would wisdom call it mourning, the slow process of grief that travels on as one struggles to say goodbye? She had yet to rise from the ashes, clothing still torn and covered with sackcloth; maybe the world simply waited for her to take the next step. It would remain in this greyed, unhappy time until she could begin the process.
Rising from her side of the bed, an unhappy and still-sorrowed spirit wandered down the stairs with what skill her hobbled leg would allow, towards the kitchen where she knew the holy bean juice awaited. She needed coffee to face whatever else came today, of that she was sure. Since when had she been able to face the world without it? A simple scoop and the press of a button would be all it took.
A small plate was in her hand only a few minutes later, a single biscuit and two slices of bacon upon it as she staggered over to her place at the table. Cadance wasn’t really hungry, but the weakness in her bones counseled her to seek out sustenance even if there was no joy to be found in such an action. Perhaps starting small was best.
The mourning widow took a pause in between chews, noticing a bulk of letters atop the table that hadn’t been placed there by her hand. Was this her mail? She hadn’t grabbed any of it in weeks, Celestia must have brought it in with her yesterday. It was a rather formidable pile, likely filled with medical bills, insurance coverages and heaven knew what else. But as she listlessly shifted through the mix, a county symbol appeared in a blazon of bright ink on the corner of one of the envelopes. It was addressed to her- but what on earth for?
Oh. A quick note from the courthouse to notify her of a guilty plea. She would be allowed to make a victim statement, if she wished to make an appearance, to speak on behalf of herself and her lost bride. A guilty plea? By whom? The death of Twilight had been so much more significant than anything surrounding the event that Cadance had forgotten the circumstances of the wreck itself. A drunk driver had collided with them, speeding through the red light; a young man, if she recalled correctly. And he was pleading guilty… I hadn’t even thought about him at all , she realized. I wonder what happened to him . She tried to put a face to the stranger that had so swiftly ruined her life, but even tired emotions decided that wisdom would win out; it would be better to not imagine some sneering, malevolent boogeyman. The real thing would be unbearable enough.
Her march through breakfast came at a snail’s pace, the last piece of bacon cold as it fell between her teeth, one final sip of coffee no more warm than the arctic once it washed the pitiful meal away. It was not much, nor did she feel sated, but Cadance did notice a lessening of her nausea as well as a slight brightness in the world. How weak had she become? Celestia probably had arrived just in time for more reasons than one. All that was left for her now was breakfast cleanup, putting the dishes in the dishwasher and pouring out the rest of the coffee she wouldn’t want. Likely the pot was already off at this point so no need to bother with remembering, just pour the cold liquid down the drain and toss out the grounds-
When she turned from the dishwasher to face the coffeemaker that sat on the counter, Cadance gave a start at the sight: already off, filter slowly drying out and the pot empty with not a drop to be found within. She’d actually made coffee just for herself, and herself alone.
A sudden rush of guilt; was she forgetting Twilight already? Goodness, so what that it had been continuously wasteful, it had been her habit for twenty years strong! Make enough coffee for herself and Twilight, lest one of them go without and be transformed into a grump for the rest of the day. And goodness, did she remember the first time Twilight had to go without! It had been early in their life together, probably only a month or so after the younger woman had moved in. Cadance had been in such a rush that morning, too busy with work at school to ensure her later-rising wife had brew awaiting her. The amount of dry, unhappy texts she’d received that day was unbelievable, a fight following when they’d gotten home before it had collapsed into laughter and kisses. And love- so much love…
The force of the memory was so strong in her mind’s eye, something once so trivial and simple now a thing that stung at her heart. Cadance had to wipe away the tears immediately, but soon found them refreshed by further fallings of salt. It hurt to think of Twilight like this; of all the times she’d screwed up and let her down in matters both great and small. But they’d always managed to make up before too long, reunited in each other’s arms and falling into laughter or tears together. And then the romance would somehow, inevitably come alive and see them all the more deeply wound. Always, no matter what, they had found their way back to loving one another…
The weeping woman fell back against the cupboards and let her tears flow a little while longer, embracing the sting for the grace of the joy that lived on within it. She would not regret this hurt for anything in all the world, not when the smile came at the behest of a memory like this. Wasn’t Twilight worth smiling over, too?
The courthouse had a look of decay about it despite the polished marble upon which she hobbled. It was an old building, likely refurbished and repaired across decades of time far greater than that of her own life. Cadance had only entered this place the one time, hand-in-hand with Twilight to forever bind themselves together in holy matrimony. It had been such a time of fear and love, so inexorably wound together that the memory would forever burn bright with the fires of them both. She’d had every reason to be nothing but petrified, so determined to be miserable. But oh, how Twilight had insisted they get married. And the day that had transpired, the night they’d spent together in the harmony of love~! No fear could be greater than how good that had felt.
Cadance hadn’t expected she’d be here again. Not for a day when she would have to stand in the same room as Twilight’s killer.
The sentencing had been of so little importance to her when compared to what was lost. Justice or vengeance of any kind wasn’t what she’d sought, more focused on the absence of Twilight than to concern herself with punishment for the one who had ended her life. Was it wrong of her to not hate him? He had been drunk and still decided to drive, his negligence bringing about cataclysmic consequences to her life; shouldn’t that be something she had strong feelings about? Cadance gave a half-hearted try at arousing some sort of anger but found it difficult to maintain. He was going to be sent to prison where she would never see him again, too swift in his departure from her life to be worthy of any great feeling- even if his actions had dealt so much hurt to her world. Perhaps when she was younger, before her bride’s tranquil influence on her life had really sunk in, she might have managed. But not now.
Outside the courtroom stood a trio of figures, one recognizable; Celestia carried a hushed conversation with a man and a woman who held a rather formidable amount of paperwork in their hands. Were they the prosecutors for the county, perhaps? They were formally dressed, and the materials about them suggested as such. Cadance wondered if the three were waiting for her.
Her footsteps alerted them to the arrival of another, Celestia the first to break away and reach out to her companion. “You made it,” she said, wrapping her arms about Cadance in an embrace. “I wondered if you were going to show, I know this must be so hard for you.”
Was it difficult? Cadance had grieved so fiercely for so long over the loss of her bride. That had been her epicenter, not this trial; all she felt was a melancholy. Perhaps it would be more difficult when she was inside and facing the man who had ruined her life. “Are we waiting for something?”
“The bailiff stepped out and said the defense hasn’t arrived yet,” the strange man answered, hand outstretched in greeting. “Once the accused is in the courtroom then we’ll be allowed in. We assumed it would be easiest for you to spend as little time as possible in the same room as Mr. Senner.”
So that was his name. If it had been on the letter informing her of the guilty plea then she hadn’t noticed. “Oh- OK,” Cadance replied. “Umm, I’m assuming you two are-”
“Mr. La Croix, from the DA’s office. This is Ms. Welara, who’s been helping me work on the case. Glad to finally meet you, Miss Cadance, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for the past several weeks regarding the trial, but I know this must be hard.”
“Sorry for not responding, then,” Cadance said. There had been greater, more pressing matters that her mind had focused on rather than the insistence of an outsider; the silence had been intentional, albeit without malice. “I was- well.”
The man was slightly younger than she but seemed unsurprised by her reaction- or her silence regarding the matter. “Don’t worry, the statements you gave at the hospital were more than enough, this case was a wrap even without them,” La Croix said. “Senner will be going away for a long time; he’ll pay for what he did to you, I promise.”
Celestia bit her lip, glancing over at the expressionless woman beside her. Perhaps she alone was the only one who could guess at what Cadance thought about the whole affair.
The courtroom doors opened and an elderly man beckoned for them to enter, Cadance walking in with Celestia beside her every step of the way. Instructed to take a seat just behind the state’s desk, the widowed woman glanced over at the faraway table and for the first time laid eyes upon Twilight’s killer- a sight enough to make her heart sink.
He’s… he’s so young . Despite her best intentions, Cadance’s imaginations had conjured the image of a heavier-set man somewhere in his middle age, at the beginnings of decay and disheveled from years of unhappy living. What sat beside the public defenders was a man hardly a step’s distance away from boyhood, thin and paler even than the prisoner’s garb that adorned his body. Was he even old enough to drink at all? There was still a youthfulness to his face, a softness of the features that had not been worn down by time’s cruel efforts.
Perhaps the young man felt her scrutinizing gaze boring through the back of his skull; a small glance back in her direction that soon became a double-take, eyes growing wide as fear set in. He could not bear to return her stare for much more than a moment, his frail body wilting beneath the effort. Instead he turned to the lines of benches behind him and allowed his eyes a brief rest upon a man and woman who sat in the middle of the row. His glance back towards them was enough to make the woman break, her own features so similar to his- yet nearly inhuman as the grief that weighed her down dripped down her face in the form of tears, the comfort of the man beside her not enough to quell them. The sight seemed to break the boy, he turning forward as his head sunk.
The sentencing hardly took any time at all, the formalities of the guilty plea little more than a delay of the inevitable. Each answer the young boy gave seemed to ripple through the courtroom and find his parents, striking at his mother’s heart and spurring the birth of further tears. Cadance saw how low he sunk, heard that voice speak in a dulled murmur. Hadn’t she caught the look in his eyes, if only for a moment? He knew his life was coming to an end, even as he would continue on in a prison cell. He was leaving his family behind, life and loves and dreams to the wayside. All because of one foolish, wildly errant choice, so many lives had been ruined- the most precious of them all even lost.
She’d only ever thought of Twilight and herself. Dear, sweet Twilight who had been lost in the span of a single moment and the pitiful woman who could not endure life without her love. Not even the slightest consideration of the man who had separated them. Now she looked at him and saw the end of so much more than just one life.
“They’re asking for you.” Celestia’s gentle words fell upon her ear and roused Cadance from her thoughts; all eyes of the courtroom were upon her now, from the cold expression of the judge who sat on high to the terrified gazes of the young man’s parents who sat in the rows across from her.
“I’m sorry?” Cadance called. She rose to her feet and tried to pretend she had only misheard rather than deliberately not listen to what transpired before her.
The judge, a domineering woman with deep-brown hair, pulled a small face but did not allow any further emotion to find its life upon her features. “I asked if you wished to speak at this time, Ms. Cadance,” she said. “Or would you rather leave no victim statement?”
She hadn’t realized she could say no. She could let this moment pass her by and remain untethered to her soul forever, just a small blip in a dark day that she would never want to remember yet never be able to forget. Why care about a sentence or a statement at all? It all seemed so insignificant in the face of what she’d lost. But Cadance could not ignore the stares that fell on her no matter how far or close. Celestia had her lips pursed and seemed to wonder if she would even say anything at all. The judge and the attorneys that sat at the tables appeared irritated at her indecision. Every eye in the courtroom awaited her next move and what words would come next- all save one: the young man who was the progenitor of all of this, unable to look her way and sunk so low into himself that it was a miracle he still lived.
“Ms. Cadance?” The judge sounded exasperated, wondering if perhaps she was still too embittered by grief to easily speak.
“I…” Cadance couldn’t tear her eyes from him, a being so utterly defeated and broken that it was like staring at a corpse; alive when it so certainly should not be, begging for that final release. It was impossible to look anywhere else, to see anything but one dying while they still breathed. He was never coming back, he and his world incapable of escaping any of this- just like Twilight. “I… yes, ma’am, I’ll- I’ll speak.”
“Please come forward to the podium,” was the command that followed.
She felt the quick squeeze of Celestia’s hand on her arm before she pushed through the swinging doors and past the attorney’s tables, still feeling the burning eyes of others as she walked. She could feel the weight of every emotion held within them, whether it be anticipation or anger or horror, all of them so potent that it was as though a storm brewed within this hallowed room. Yet when Cadance took her place at the podium and turned to face the miniscule crowd, still did the young man fail to rise and meet her, head bowed by the weight of death- and the pain of tears that fell so quietly from his face.
“I…” She didn’t know how to begin. There was no prepared speech, no plan of what to say. “I know what you did. And it was wrong,” Cadance began, each word arriving with little knowledge of what would follow after. “I don’t really remember much. Just a quick flash of your headlights before I woke up in the hospital. And my best friend telling me I’d lost my Twilight.”
The shiver of the man and woman in the courtroom rows could be felt; the sting of tears falling down the poor woman’s face as her husband did what he could to comfort her, his face stony and intent on displaying his grief even as he lost his son. Cadance wondered what it must be like for them to see this. At least Twilight was free of all pain and sorrow and chance of hurt, running free through golden fields that were worthy of her. But to see your child and know he was dead while still living…
“I miss her. Every day. I woke up to her every morning, the last thing I’d see every night was her face. I spent so many days and nights just- just happy knowing that someone so good loved me,” Cadance continued. “Even when I was sick, at least I knew there wasn’t going to be a day I would be without her.”
The young Mr. Senner shrunk all the more, a shadow of himself as each word struck him like a knifeblade. Cadance looked upon him and found a kinship; he wanted so desperately to die, his heart and soul incapable of withstanding the pain that befell him. So overwhelming in its cruel bite that to withstand it a moment longer was more than what the soul could bear. He was so young, meant to be just beginning the experience of life’s many joys…
“And now I do. And I’ll have to. Every single day I’m going to be without her,” Cadance said, and for the first time felt a catch in her throat. This was the admission of reality; she was going to be without Twilight for the rest of her life , to spend heaven knew how many days without the one she’d loved more than anything else in all creation. Twilight was gone . “I don’t know how I’m supposed to live with that. Without her. She was… everything to me. I was a better person because of her. And I’ll never see her again because of one single moment.”
The world seemed to tense; parent and child held their breath as they waited for the hammer to fall, the words that would plunge deep and draw real blood.
“I know what you did. And it was wrong,” Cadance said, the stain of tears across her lips turning words slippery. “And I know I’m supposed to hate you for it, because the most innocent person in the world died and we’re still here… but I can’t.”
Senner’s thin form grew taut and he came to life, staring at the woman whose life he’d destroyed. His parents could hardly bear to look, weeping mother incapable of enduring this pained goodbye.
“I can’t hate you. I- I don’t want to hate you. Twilight wouldn’t want to hate you, either,” Cadance said. “I wish you hadn’t done it. I wish none of it had happened because I miss her more than anything. But hating you won’t bring her back. And I know you just wish you could die because maybe that would make it easier. But you- you and I are still here. So I guess we’re going to have to keep living since my Twilight can’t. And maybe we’ll figure out how someday.”
Senner looked at her with eyes that shimmered, a new sensation of hurt pulsing through his tired body. There was confusion and grief present, his young mind not yet capable of understanding why he had been so readily forgiven by one he had so deeply wounded. It just did not make sense that he could be absolved; had he not done something horrible, heinous beyond measure? Yet there Cadance stood, heart reaching out to him and wishing him to live, all for reasons he could not yet understand.
“I- I guess that’s all I have to say, Your Honor,” Cadance finished lamely, limping back to her place beside Celestia amidst the wooden rows and taking a seat as the final words of the court were spoken. She knew the burning of salt across pale skin, feel the arm wrap about her and keep her close, a comforting warmth and a whisper brimming with tearful pride that sang into her ear. But all Cadance could see was the confused, sorrowed gaze of the young man who could not tear his eyes away from her as he wondered why she pleaded for him to live.
It was her first Christmas without Twilight. The whole of the year had raced past her eyes so quickly that to suddenly be upon this moment was something Cadance hadn’t found herself prepared enough to endure. Thanksgiving should have been the clue that the hurt on the horizon would cut deep, forewarning that absence of her half would burn against her heart yet again. Yet now here she sat, her home empty and left undecorated as the early darkness overtook the world.
Cadance sat alone on her usual place atop the sofa. The old thing had been part of her life for years now, the wearing of age giving it sags and wrinkles that testified to continued use. She could feel where the cushion sank beneath her weight, deeper than perhaps it should- and beside her the empty space where Twilight was meant to be. Her right side was cold; body heat was supposed to be present, adding to her own and preventing the dark from sapping away her strength. But so much of her strength was gone, whether it be sickness or age or the violent tearing of her very self that had seen it done. Cadance felt so small amidst this deepened black that came with the cold and wondered if her bones might freeze.
The alarm on her phone roused the woman from her thoughtless apathy, pale light burning bright and calling for her attention. Dinner at Celestia’s! it called out, beckoning for her to journey out into the early night and make good on her promise. Celestia had insisted she be there, Luna and the rest of her family having come to town for the holiday occasion. She’d been so sure that it would be good for Cadance to not be alone on a day that was meant for cheer and company. But should she even go? Her heart was heavy, her mind filled with the words of despair that begged to be spoken aloud; if she went, it was more than likely that her presence would suck the happiness away. It would be better if she remained alone tonight.
But you promised. And you should try to keep that promise, especially for Celestia. She’s been so good to me all year long . Words not welcome, but arriving from a place more rational than the grieving, wounded places of her mind that demanded she remain rooted. With a heavy sigh Cadance rose from her place atop the sagging couch and went upstairs to change. She at least needed to look a little presentable before arriving; her pajamas hardly qualified as respectable clothing.
The drive over went by smoothly, little traffic on the road at such a time. By now, most of the world was too deeply entwined with family or loved ones to be out and about amidst the cold. Perhaps it was a good omen. Maybe it was only a swiftness to something worse. But arrived she did all the same, Cadance walking up the steps to the front porch and giving a quiet knock upon the door. She half-hoped no one would be there to answer.
The door swung open so quickly it was as though her presence had been anxiously awaited, Celestia standing there in a bright-red Santa dress and her cheeks glowing a faint pink in the light. “Cadance, hello!” She said, taking her friend in a tight embrace and holding her fast. “Oh, it’s good to see you, I was worried you weren’t going to show!”
“I promised I would,” Cadance said- and suddenly finding her voice catching. The warmth of this simple human comfort was an itch she hadn’t even realized needed to be scratched. Just to be held and loved without condition, without question, safe within the arms of another. The shudder that came could not be repressed but she managed to prevent the falling of tears so early into the night; it would not do for waterworks here.
“And I’m glad you kept your promise,” Celestia said, smiling bright as though it were the finest thing in the world. “Come on in, I know it’s freezing out here-”
“Thank you. Sorry I didn’t bring anything. You know, food or-”
“Oh, it’s fine! Nova and Jasper have been in the kitchen since morning and I can smell everything, we ought to be fine,” Celestia replied. “You want something to drink at all, I’ve got some Irish hot chocolate that you might like…”
“… Sure. That sounds nice,” Cadance said, and finding that a part of herself actually meant it. “Enjoying being Mrs. Clause for the day?”
Celestia’s eyes gleamed bright as she let the long hem of her dress twirl about, looking so perfectly suited for the holiday that it was so easily possible that such a day had been made with her in mind. “I never get to be the host, so I… may have gotten a little excited.”
“Red is your color,” Cadance offered.
The brilliant educator smiled all the more. “You’re too kind to this old girl. I’m starting to feel as old as Santa nowadays…”
The living room was bristling with holiday cheer, whether it be in the form of decorations or the bright warmth of light and life that emanated from TV and candles. Luna sat on the couch and enjoyed the spectacle of sports, ceasing only to leap up and give her newly arrived companion a hug.
“Oh thank God you’re here, hopefully you’ll get her to calm down,” Luna gasped. “She’s been going manic all week, I can’t be around a sibling who’s in this good a mood. I’m gonna go nuts!”
Celestia gave a Hmph! at the remark and flounced off to the kitchen to fetch a drink, not deigning to be around such mockery. Cadance gave a small laugh at it all; this was the closest to normal banter that she’d known since the start of the year, all bluster and brimming with love. Already she could feel her heart beginning to lighten, if only just a tad…
“I like it. She misses seeing you all every day,” Cadance remarked.
“Hopefully she’ll calm down when we move back in a few years,” Luna groaned. “I’ve got just a couple more years before retirement, Nova’s almost done with college, and Jasper can do everything for his job online. We’d love to be back in home territory quick as we can.”
“So you’ll be moving again?”
“In due time. But yes, that’s the hope. Besides, Nova think she’ll want to open a restaurant here in town, catch up to the new wave scene downtown. Jasper tried to keep her in law school but you know how she gets.”
“Stubborn. Like her mother,” Cadance said, almost as a tease. “Heaven knows how you raised her to be so good.”
“Because she’s got a bit of her Daddy in her, that’s why,” Luna explained. “He managed to tame me, of all people, do you even remember how wild I was?”
“I think I outclassed you, really,” Cadance replied. The years were now many but still she could see every failing, every horrid thing she’d done and still felt the chill of shame that came from them…
“You both cooled down eventually,” Celestia proclaimed, striding back into the room with steaming mugs of sweet brew in hand. “And become the most wonderful of ladies.”
“Me? A lady?” Luna asked drily. “I feel like that’s debatable.”
“And a good mother, too,” Celestia added as she took a seat in the recliner.
Luna smiled, but rolled her eyes. “See? This is how you know she’s been drinking, Celestia’s the most complimentary person ever when she starts getting drunk.”
“I am not drunk! ” Celestia protested, despite the evidence of the deepening red on her cheeks. “I’m not! I’m just trying to stay warm, it’s cold!”
“And I’m a monkey’s uncle. Don’t even try to lie to me, Cellie,” Luna cut through. Cold, brutal, and hilariously to the point, suggesting that perhaps her own glass was filled with something a little more stout than just water.
“Well, I just want to be festive,” Celestia muttered, unwilling to be abashed and see her mood ruin. “So… Luna, do you have it or-”
“Oh- oh yes, yes! It’s right here,” Luna said, turning about and beginning to dig somewhere behind the couch.
“Have- have what?” Cadance asked.
“So, umm- before we got started with dinner,” Celestia began, suddenly sobered up and leaning forward in her seat, “Luna and I wanted to give you something.”
“A gif- oh, you didn’t- you didn’t need to get me anything,” Cadance murmured, now wishing all the more she’d brought something worthwhile along besides just herself. “That’s very sweet of you, thank you both.”
“Well, truth be told it was Cellie’s idea,” Luna muttered, arising from her search with a wrapped package in hand. “We just worked on it together, since it took a lot of effort. It was quite hard, actually.”
“Hard because..?”
“Open it and you’ll see,” Celestia explained. “Maybe that’ll help it make sense.”
Mystified, Cadance slowly tore through the wrapping. It was solid, that much she could tell. But the first rip revealed only a dark lavender color and nothing more- until the rest was cast aside and the sight of what lay in her hand was enough to steal her breath. It was a photo album, the front bearing a photograph of the two of them at their wedding and in the midst of a kiss. The real ceremony, the one that had been a celebration of so many trials and pains now put in the past, suffering at last gone and room made for so much happiness. She remembered that kiss; how lovely Twilight had looked in her wedding dress, how soft her hands had been, the sweetness of her lips. It was a memory so deeply cherished that not even time could dispel its strength.
She knew what awaited her within the album’s pages, and Cadance found herself unsurprised by what lay there: so many photographs of Twilight and herself, spending time with friends both new and old. There were so many of Twilight in high school, of her days at college, the beginnings of their life together- and oh, those early days of their marriage. All of them forever sealed in memory and untarnished, words of ink beside each one. Some professed how much they’d loved –no, how much they loved Twilight even still, and how grateful they were to have been a part of her life. There was so much kindness, so many unique memories and moments that not even Cadance had known of. And all of them honoring one she’d loved more than life itself.
She’d promised not to let the tears flow so easily, but their clear forms fell against the thin plastic all the same. Dripping down across her smiling lips, Cadance wondered how her heart could possibly withstand the intensity of this joyous hurt that so powerfully ravaged her body. She missed Twilight, each and every single day, but the pain of her loss was faced by these memories and could not stand against the joy that blossomed because of them. She hurt without Twilight, but at least she had known her so deeply.
The hands on her shoulders helped guide her away from the grief and into laughter, grateful for the sweetness of drink that could burn away the tears.
She’d once loved this day. Sentimentality had always had its sway over her heart, able to turn a rational, sensible woman into a blubbering romantic. But Cadance had always managed to hold some of her sway and keep steady when she was younger. It was only when she really fell in love that Valentine’s Day became a day of ecstasy or pain; she couldn’t resist its allure, to wander the streets alone and see so many faces without one beside her. Twilight had turned a day of loneliness into a thing of utter joy simply by being there; how could one feel sad on a day that celebrated love when one so lovely was there beside her?
But that had been a year ago, and Twilight had died before the day had run its course. Valentine’s was tainted, blighted by blood once more. And so Cadance sat in her empty house and struggled against the weight.
She had improved; really, she had. But this was an anniversary she had never been prepared to endure, no thought in mind capable to steel her spirit. How was she supposed to abide a day of love when the one she loved was so far gone? Just knowing and remembering was agony. Cadance could not endure it-
At least, not alone. So out she reached, desperate for a hand that would save her from falling. And a friend answered.
Cadance wondered if it was a pitiful self-pity that drove her to such desperation. Didn’t other deal with loneliness through much more reasonable means? All she wanted was to guzzle down a bottle of wine and not remember a single moment, but to do so seemed so disrespectful to what made Twilight special. She needed to be sober, clear-minded as she recalled that gentle spirit she’d come to love. To dishonor Twilight’s death by trying to forget it felt so wrong.
The door opened without a knock to warn of impending company; of course it did, how many times had Celestia come over to aid her during this past year? Cadance couldn’t recall a time she’d so heavily depended on anyone since Twilight had helped her endure the trials of cancer. Every time she’d struggled, debated the worthiness of her life’s endurance, Celestia had been present to help stem the tide. And now, when faced with a torturous memory so personal, she knew no other to which she could seek aid.
“I- I didn’t know what to bring with me,” Celestia began, settling down gingerly in the loveseat as though fearful she didn’t belong there. “I’ve got a bottle of bourbon just in case-”
“In case what?” Cadance questioned.
Celestia bit her lip. “In case… you just wanted to forget for a little while,” she admitted.
The offer was not a foolish one; made with genuine kindness in mind, Celestia offered a real chance to bypass such pain and let it not trouble her heart, to simply let the day go and not be remembered. But Cadance could not allow herself such a thing. “No, thank you,” she said after a while. “I think… I want to remember this.”
“But why?”
“Because I wish she was with me.”
The two women sat in silence for a time, but not in darkness; Cadance had seen fit for the standing lamp to be lit, illuminating the living room in a soft warmth of orange and red against the darkened shade of night that crept in all around. Celestia breathed in its colors, let their tendrils seep in and turn her sky-color hair aglow against the black. Perhaps she knew not what to say- or, more befitting her wisdom, she said nothing so that Cadance might find room to seek out what words to say herself. Talk would only bring further pain to a time such as this, but her presence and listening ear might offer a chance at healing.
“I’m lonely without her, Tia,” Cadance admitted. All about did her eyes flicker, from top to bottom and everything in between. “There’s times I wake up and think I hear her sleeping next to me. Or that she’s just around the corner, working on something and that I’ll see her again. I- I don’t know if I can really remember a time in this place when she wasn’t here.”
Slowly, carefully as though fearful of breaking a spell, Celestia rose from her place. Up from the loveseat and over beside her friend did she come to rest, her hands coming about those of Cadance’s and holding them close in an offering of warmth. Words could only hurt, but she needed it to be known that she was listening. Cadance needed to know.
“It’s like every day just- just hurts . Because she’s not there,” Cadance continued. “I see her everywhere here, but she’s not there. And I keep trying to be happy but I always find myself wondering if it’s wrong. Like I can’t be happy anymore now she’s gone.” There was a desire for tears, but they did not flow. The mere speaking of the words into existence was the siphoning of venom from her blood, allowing for the presence of something real instead. “I miss her, but I know I need to keep going. Yet I keep seeing her, and I just… I don’t know how.”
“Like you’re still living in two different places,” Celestia whispered, holding all the tighter as her lips were loosened at last. “Where she was- and where you are now.”
Cadance struggled back against the pain, yet found herself smiling all the same. Someone understood what it was like! Knew the words in her heart and how to say them aloud. “Yes, that’s it,” she murmured. “I can’t keep living in a place where I think Twilight’s just around the corner waiting for me, yet every time I go to find her she’s just- not. I… I don’t know how to live with that.”
“Cadance?”
“Mhm?”
Celestia let her gaze flicker away for a time, a pause before she answered. “Do you mind if I told you what I think you should do?”
“Not at all.”
“I think,” Celestia began, “That you need to sell the house.”
A thought in her own mind as well, but one so brimming with pain that Cadance didn’t know how to consider it. “And really say goodbye to her.”
“Not to Twilight. No, not- not ever,” Celestia replied. “But this… it hurts you to be here. Her presence is so deeply, personally entwined with this place that living in it is like stepping on glass. You bleed just by living, by being here. I can’t think of a reason why you should just keep hurting. It’s not mourning to see yourself pain, it’s just…”
“I don’t want to forget her, Tia,” Cadance said, “Not ever.”
“Neither do I. But she’d want you to be happy. And you know full well you’re never going to be happy living in a place where you’ll always be seeing her shadow.”
It was the truth in all its cold bluntness; hurtful, painful, but undeniable all the same. Cadance didn’t want to hear it nor heed it, but Celestia was the only one left in the world that she knew to trust implicitly even if she knew not what steps to take next. “And so what should I do?” She asked drily, hiccups coming as tears threatened to fall. “I don’t have a place to go, should I downsize and just leave everything-”
“No, no! Of course not,” Celestia breathed, holding fast to her friend and allowing her fingers to intertwine themselves. “Bring every good, happy memory of Twilight you want with you, and leave everything else to the past. But you’ll come live with me. I’ve got a spare bedroom, you can bring everything you want and make my home yours. Just a couple of old girls. And you’d… you’d make my empty house feel a whole lot smaller. It’d do me a huge favor.”
She knew it would be the end of an era. Twilight’s spirit had left its indelible mark all over this home, from decorations to the mere memory of her spirit. To leave would be to say the final goodbye to the life that had been made beside her- and Cadance knew it. But that life was already dead, the ghost of its presence burning at her skin like fire until she could endure it no longer. Was that not why she had called for Celestia’s companionship? To block out the hurt and contend against the pain a little while longer? The signs could not be mistaken any longer, even if she wanted so desperately to ignore them. The time had come, and there could be no delay of the inevitable.
“And I wouldn’t be a bother,” Cadance offered.
“Definitely not!” Celestia countered, offended that such a thought could be suggested. “Gods, I’d love for some company in that place, you know how long I’ve lived there alone? It’d be like Luna was back in town again or at least close to it.”
“It won’t be the same.” Cadance knew what she said, and what it would mean for whom.
“No, it won’t. But it can be a little better than now.”
So Cadance agreed.
The year passed peacefully, in fits and starts as a new life tried to reinvent itself from the ashes. Days came by where the hurt was so great that merely living within them was too painful to be remembered. But there would still be the tinges of happy memory, of moments that could not be overwhelmed by grief. Twilight had gone to tread a different path, but her fingerprints were everywhere, undeniable and the joy they brought still so powerful.
Cadance was there when she received the news of Velvet’s passing, the undefeatable wearings of time and illness too much to bear. She had not died slowly starving, aware and frightened of the world in which she dwelled; instead Velvet had spent her last day in a happy memory, still young and fresh-faced as when her world had been new. No drunkenness, no stains of married misery, just the beginnings of a family that had so much room to grow and be happy. There had been peace, and joy despite the reality in which she had once dwelled.
“I can’t wait to see Twilight again,” Velvet had said happily. To what memory she had referred to was beyond the wisdom of any of them, but the eager smile on her face was too bright, too pure to be wiped away. Perhaps she recalled a moment when she had waited for her youngest daughter’s return from school, to hear that happy voice recall so much knowledge and memory all of its own. So when Velvet had laid down to take a nap from which she would never awake, the smile did not fade even as the last breath left her lungs, for indeed she had gone to see her daughter once more.
Cadance struggled with the loss, even if she knew there was greater peace for Velvet here at the end. Those shared memories of someone they’d both loved were gone, lost to the movements of time and never to be brought back again. But why should she, when they had been something endured together? For good or ill they were gone, whether the memory had been pleasant or not. Part of her wished to hold on and withstand the pain even if it were a choice so unwise, but wisdom told her differently. She had to move forward, beyond where she had once been. There was no other way, no place for her in the land of dead and dying things while she still breathed.
Good days came. And went, like the movements of the tide against the shore, so swift and temporary. Cadance found days where she reveled in the memory of the bride she had loved, where the moments that had once been danced before her mind’s eye and brought such comfort that nothing could tarnish them. Other times, such things could only wound; the absence of her presence could so easily be agony, a desperate need to hold on and love someone as integral to her nature as sleeping and breathing. Cadance knew not how to live without loving someone so deeply any longer- or had she always been built to love like this? The answer felt obvious, even if she had no desire to endure it. It was so easy to stare at the empty side of a bed and feel utterly lost in the maelstrom of human life, bereft of any hand to hold that would help her withstand the tide.
But she was not quite alone any longer. Despite the hurt, despite how afraid she had been to say farewell to that part of her world, Cadance no longer had a home to herself any longer; Celestia’s invitation had been genuine, the shared space between them a welcome comfort when the grief proved to be so overwhelming. Some moments came and hit with the force of a hammer, the crashing waves of hurt intent on sweeping her away; how she would have withstood them on her own was unimaginable. Cadance could only reach out for help and a listening ear, more often than not. And Celestia listened.
“I can just listen, if you’d like,” Celestia offered one evening. The two of them had gathered together in the living room by mere happenstance, the resplendent woman taking note of her companion’s downcast spirit. “If you feel like talking.”
“It’s alright. Honestly, I think I’d like your opinion on this one,” Cadance admitted. She tried to look away from that bright gaze, the feel of it so familiar yet brimming with newness. It was rather shameful that she even consider the thought…
“Oh. Alright, then,” Celestia replied. “Let me hear it.”
“Well…” Cadance grimaced, wondering if she should even say anything. “Do- am I bad for feeling lonely?”
Celestia blinked. “Lonely without Twilight? Cadance, you were with her for over twenty years.”
“I know. But what I mean is- well, I… I want someone to hold to. I miss just- giving affection to someone, you know? Loving someone, being kind to them. I haven’t been able to do anything like that since Twilight died. But I miss it. Like I just… wasn’t made for being alone.”
“Maybe you weren’t,” Celestia remarked, resting her chin atop her hand. “Maybe you should try dating again. See if someone tickles your fancy.”
“But would it- does it dishonor her memory? Like I’m trying to forget her?” Cadance asked. The real core of the question was laid bare now, free and made vulnerable. She had to know the truth, needed to know…
Celestia, however, shook her head. “You were made to love someone, Cadance,” she said. “And I think you should. Twilight isn’t a ghost, she’s not waiting around the corner to judge you. She’s moved on- to better places, and she’s there waiting for you. But maybe you should take someone with you on the journey for the rest of the way.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well… maybe because it’s not good for you to be alone.”
Cadance heeded the advice. Hesitation and doubt remained, but she listened all the same and began to try to not be alone any longer. It started only halfway, a haphazard attempt at reigniting passionate flames that had all but been extinguished. With little idea of what the dating world was supposed to look like, Cadance found herself floundering about like a fish out of water; Twilight had once complained of how miserable dating life had been at college- to think that it could somehow get worse. Too old, too out of touch, too anything was all that she encountered. The longer she tried to figure out this strange new world, the less she liked it. Perhaps this newfangled way of things was not what she was meant to understand. But still the yearning remained. It was not good for her to be alone.
Cadance did what she could to fill her time. Work was a good salve for the wounds, empty space filling up even if there was a burn that came with it. She wanted to hear from another, to look upon words of comfort and know them to be filled with love. But she was alone, widowed and yearning for connection. Who would wish to be there for one so old and used up as she?
To her surprise, Cadance slowly began to find that empty space filled. Celestia remained ever the intentional, loving companion she had been ever since Twilight’s departure. As though taking up a mantle that had been set to ground, the sunlit woman refused to allow her friend to wallow in self-pity. She was there for word and silence both, to comfort and to guide whenever the need arose. Whenever Cadance found herself struggling with isolation, so there Celestia would be to break through the miasma and see it dispelled. There would even be nights where the two would go out into the world and enjoy themselves, to forgo the solitude of a quiet house and seek out excitement- or rather, what excitement a pair of aging women were willing to withstand. But they were not alone, and found themselves comforted by one another. And the more time went on, the more Cadance didn’t mind.
One year became two, time relentless in its slow yet swift crawl ever onwards. Cadance held memory fast, enjoying ones long gone and those that continued to be made anew. Her grief came in waves, yet their timing grew ever wider as the world went on. She could enjoy her solitude if need be- but she could spend it in the comfort of another, too. Celestia was there to be beside her, no matter how many times she asked for it. Time continued its march, pain brought its dull ache, so more and more Cadance found herself beside an old friend who was not quite friend any longer. There was more to see, to know, and to do, all of it calling for her to come out and find; life beckoned for her to know its face, to sing until time truly ran out and to not do so alone. So all the more did Cadance spend her time by Celestia’s side, letting the space between them shrink with each passing day until they were beside one another and unwilling to move. And when the time came that Celestia kissed her, she didn’t even mind.
The first kiss she had known since Twilight was enough to trigger a wave of emotions, both bitter and sweet. Cadance knew she so desperately wanted to weep- but whether it be for relief or not she could not tell. But Celestia had dared to break that threshold and she had welcomed the presence, grateful to know she was loved even still. Perhaps it was the sign she’d been looking for, one now beckoning for her to come forward.
Celestia, to her credit, took note of the uncertainty on her partner’s face. “I shouldn’t have done that,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. It was too much.”
“It’s fine. I- I’m glad you did,” Cadance admitted. She scooted herself in closer, letting her head rest against that of her companion’s and letting their breaths flow entertwined. It would not be the same; their fire would be different, the pace and style in which they loved and knew one another could never hope to compare. But it could be good, and it could still be something happy. That was enough to make her wish for more. “You could kiss me again, if you feel like it.”
“I just might, once I feel a little braver,” Celestia murmured, and earning a giggle at the remark. “Cadance, I know it’s- I’m not trying to replace her, and- and I don’t mean to. But I want this. And I hope you do, too.”
It was only the beginning. It would begin small, uncertain, but it would help heal the emptiness- one moment, one kiss at a time. “So,” Cadance began, “We just gonna stay here and make out like a couple of horny teenagers? Or you feel like taking me somewhere?”
“There’s a new wine bar downtown I was thinking of visiting,” Celestia offered. “It’s rather fancy, too. I might even need to put on a nice dress before I go. You feel like joining me?”
Cadance could only laugh, feeling weight lift from her shoulders with each new chuckle. “Sure, she said, “Take a girl for a ride.”
Author's Note
And so I say goodbye to my two favorite girls.
Stay tuned for big things ahead. Enjoy.
